Well. Today would have been my ex stepdad's birthday, and I've got some weird mixed feelings. If I have one regret, I didn't wish him Happy Birthday last year. I thought "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." He was declared brain dead by the next day. I guess the moral of the story is, tell people Happy Birthday. You dunno if they'll be alive tomorrow.

Here's hoping 2026 isn't as crazy as 2025 was.

Princess Lunatic Land Shark Shenanigans PrettyPaws is my emotional support dog, and my soul mate. She is the love of my life. Through all the horrible things that have happened in my life the past few years, all the financial crises, the health struggles, the family deaths, she's been there to keep me going.

Today we learned she was hiding a HUGE BROKEN TOOTH, which must have been causing her great pain even though she never showed it. The dentists found it during a tooth cleaning and it had to be removed to prevent infection.

While our financial situation is not as dire as it has been in the recent past, the cost ballooned from 40 dollars to over 800. I know everyone is struggling in today's absurd economy, but we could definitely use the help getting her bill paid off.

Even if you can't donate, please SHARE! Thank you, from myself, Luna, and the rest of her family.

https://gofund.me/2cf27687

On the last day of 2024, my stepfather took his own life after struggling with mental health stuff. We have set up a GoFundMe to help cover funeral and memorial costs.

He's left behind a very confusing and difficult situation for all of us. He was the sole source of income for our family, as my mother, my brother, and myself, are all disabled and chronically ill.

I know none of us are made of money, but if you could signal boost and spread the word, that would be awesome. Thank you.
https://gofund.me/6c070e89

... And so we've reached the final chapter of the drama with my stepfather.
The past four or so years with him have been a mess.
You can read the full journals here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

But to summarize: He cheated on my disabled mother twice with his ex from over 20 years ago. He lost his job. He tried to sell my house out from under us. He held all the money hostage so Mom couldn't go anywhere. He racked up 11 thousand dollars in credit card debt on stupid things, in secret. He was very much an absent father for my youngest brother and basically told us none of us meant as much to him as his old ex. (Who, for the record, said she wanted nothing to do with him and took every opportunity to hurt him.) He was the worst house mate, a total slob, grouchy, rude, and I hate to say I can't find a single nice thing to say about him. A single good memory.

Because... on the 31st of December, the last day of 2024, he left the house, with a gun, and took his own life. He didn't leave a note so we will never know why or what he was doing there. He didn't tell anything to any of us.

And I have no fucking idea how to feel about it. I think the worst part is the 30th was his birthday and I didn't get to even tell him Happy Birthday. He basically hid in his room for four years, I just... I hadn't seen him in days, I assumed I'd just... tell him when I saw him next. That's gonna fuck me up forever I think.

I'm talking with my therapist tomorrow. I dunno when I'll get back to art. Right now all my energy is being used to be there for my Mom. The saddest part is that she still loved him, after all that.

I didn't like him. But nobody wanted this.

UPDATE 1/3/2025
Not really related, other than how completely not normal it all is, but I didn't want to make a new journal so soon after this one... Had a bit of a spook tonight. 4-5 shots fired waaaay too close to my house for comfort. Cop cars. Sirens. Lights. At least one helicopter. We're all okay but it was very alarming! I live in a very nice neighborhood and this never happens here. I'd never even heard gunshots before.
I can see crime tape being put up in our neighbor's yard. The same house as the guys who lit our back yard on fire last July when a firework went over the wall. They had two kids with them then, I hope they're both okay.
This week has been so bizarre.

A little project I've been working on for a few years now and have really picked up again since Dragoneer passed:
MY COMMUNITY DISCORD!
https://discord.gg/87rya9hvvX

18+ only, please follow all the rules posted in the rules channel or you'll get bopped with the Squeaky Ban Hammer

It's mostly for art-sharing and world building, but I was worried FA might go down, and I was literally going to post this link the DAY it got hacked, pffff. So if it DOES go down again (and history has shown it probably will, for one reason or another) you can contact me there. I am chronically online so you should be able to reach me in a day or two.

Sorry guys, I hate bailing two weeks in a row, but there's not gonna be a stream this weekend. Last night got UNEXPECTEDLY INTENSE and my auto-immune disorder didn't like it, so my hands and fingers are quite swollen today ;w;

One of the neighbor's fireworks went over the wall around 11 pm last night, and landed in my back yard, which is full of wild grass, which promptly caught fire! Luckily the neighbors jumped the wall and brought their hose, so it was brought under control before it did any real damage. It did, however, involve a lot of me running around with a hose and a flash light. Nobody was hurt, thank goodness, but I spent a long while hosing the place down before I went to bed just to be sure it was super duper out. But it does mean I'm pretty beat up and sore today, auto immune disease does not like surprises.

Again, sorry for bailing, and thanks for understanding!

Sorry guys, between all the STRESS and my auto-immune disease flaring up, I'm just in no state to stream this weekend. I tried to do too much yesterday and it resulted in my back and hip joints severely swelling and threatening to pop out of place, so I gotta rest.

Hopefully next weekend will work out better!

https://gofund.me/19858d20
https://gofund.me/19858d20
https://gofund.me/19858d20

... Remember how a year ago I explained the whole situation with my stepdad TrashMan? And how he cheated on my mom and screwed us all over? Yeah IT GOT WORSE. I'll make a proper journal and art post later, but for now, if you amazingly patient and lovely, wonderful watchers could spread this around like some sort of super-contagious love child of loose glitter and COVID, I would be forever grateful.

I'm also getting set up so I can do donation art streams on the weekends, so if you're like "can I buy an art and donate that way?" YES YOU CAN! Catch me in a stream or DM me and we'll get something sorted out.

Hey guys,
I wanted to give an explanation for my silence over here. I'm not gone, but I AM having massive art block due to some health things. I was officially diagnosed type 2 diabetic last month, and while I'm on a new medication that has helped my mother with her own diabetes in an amazing way, I just went on it and I'm still dealing with the side effects of that, namely nausea. When I'm sick I can't sleep, and when I can't sleep, my chronic pain flares up. When that happens my back and wrists are hit hard and I can't sit and draw. Mom says it only lasts a week or two and I hope she's right asldkfjalsdf. I do want to get back to drawing!

Currently, 3 people have paid me for commissions I have not yet completed. I will shortly send them a personal apology for that. I very much intend to get them done! I just haven't been able to.

Step Dad Drama Update, for those who read my last big update thing and are wondering how that's going (yes, my life is still a sitcom):
1. He still lives here but I no longer call him Dad. He lost that right a while back. In fact in my friend groups I call him Trash Man. Because that's what he does. He leaves garbage all around the ring house. I've left empty trash cans around his desk and still find trash on the floor, the couch, or in literally any other container. I avoid him as much as I can.
2. Mom is done crying over him and is now also sick of his crap. Unfortunately we do still need him here for financial reasons.
3. Mom has been placed back in charge of the bank account after he ran it 700 dollars into the hole; there was a reason she was in charge of it for the past 20 years.
4. He had "a disagreement with an overpass" and totally destroyed the car. Like I'm pretty sure tires are supposed to be parallel. Because we totally had that in he budget!

Puppy update for people who need good news after that:
She was the bestest girl at the vet and is very healthy. Now that the weather is getting nicer we are going on more walkies.

A lot of stuff has been happening at home and it's made it very hard to work on art. I know some of you have been waiting in my queue for close to a year now, and I feel like an explanation is due now that things have calmed down, at least for the moment.

The first big thing, that has been an unfolding drama for over a year now, is that my stepdad was caught cheating with his ex GF from over 20 years ago. Multiple times. She's toxic, bad news, and he doesn't even know her last name. Also she's dating his ex-best friend, who is a controlling jerk with some anger issues so... that little triangle is going to end really well, I'm sure. I live with my Mom and my Stepdad, along with my younger brothers, because all of us suffer from some degree of chronic pain and disability, and between the lot of us we can mostly keep things running. However, my stepdad has made it very clear that he no longer wants anything to do with this family. He's moved into the spare room and tried to sell the house out from under us so he could go live in an RV in the woods. This failed because my name and my mother's are on the house title, but it didn't stop him from trying. Had he succeeded, the rest of us would be homeless. We can't work, I've been in the process of applying for disability for 2 years with no luck, and we're scrambling to try and find a way to pay the mortgage without his help. After Mom threatened legal action he's promised to stay until we can find a way... for now. But I don't trust him half as far as I could toss him. (Honestly, I never have, and 7 year old me feels very validated that suddenly Mom can see all the bad parts of him she was blind to before, but I had to deal with for years growing up.)

This is the major thing that has caused me to not be able to draw. My auto-immune disease will very happily turn emotional stress into physical stress and joint pain. On top of that, he's stopped doing any work around the house. He used to be the primary care-taker for Mom (who has been bedridden from her chronic pain for about 5 years now) and now he's just... ignoring everyone. He won't even take the trash out anymore, even though he still uses the kitchen. So I've had to step in and do a lot more work to keep things going. All of this has been very taxing and took my already low energy levels even lower.

Unfortunately it's not the only thing that's been happening; a handful of smaller things all happened around the same time and made things difficult.

First, I got Covid. I survived, which is something far too many people cannot say, but it was 2 weeks of solid misery and about a month of extreme chronic exhaustion (like, more than my usual always-tired-ness). I do not remember most of June. It's a blur of suffering and counting down the hours until I could take more medicine.

And then Luna, my dog, my dear little Princess Lunatic LandShark Pretty Paws, got a UTI. She has an upcoming vet appointment and has been on cranberry supplements and is doing much better, but for a while there was a lot of cleaning up after her to do.
(9/5 UPDATE: She has been given a clean bill of health by the vet, so either we caught it early and it cleared up before she got in to see the doc, or this is a behavioral issue sparked by all the stress. Her favorite people are myself and my mom and she's definitely picked up on the fact that something is wrong. Either way I'm glad she's healthy.)

AND THEN. Because life just won't stop happening! My laptop broke. My laptop is my main photoshop machine and luckily some very kind people donated to the GoFundMe I set up and we met the goal in just a day. Actually getting the laptop to the mac store was a huge ordeal involving 3 different trips and altogether too much carsickness; I won't go into the details there but it took most of a month. In fact I didn't manage to draw a single thing for ArtFight 2022 :C

Anyway. I don't know how to conclude this, except to say thank you to everyone who has been so very patient, and another extra thank you for the people who helped fund the laptop repair. I'm gonna try to get back into commissions. It's been way too long since I made any art and it's starting to bother my muse pretty bad. I can't promise that I won't vanish again in the future-- life is kind of a mess right now-- but at least now you hopefully understand why.

https://gofund.me/4e09b71d
https://gofund.me/4e09b71d
https://gofund.me/4e09b71d

As some of my long-time followers know, I'm a disabled artist with no "real" job. Art is my income. I use my laptop to make art. This has brought my life to a screeching halt.

Even if you can't donate, please consider signalboosting! It takes 2 seconds and helps more than you'd think!

https://artfight.net/~Pogostix
https://artfight.net/~Pogostix
https://artfight.net/~Pogostix

Back again for another year!

WELP.

Doing ok so far. I did get vaccinated last year so I should be ok. I do sound like a frog during puberty though... voice is wrecked lol. I'll keep you guys updated.

My friends need 400 dollars by the 14th or they won't be able to make their rent payment.
If you can, please donate to baneblood666[at]gmal.com via PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/markusbrimstone
If you can't donate, please share!

Thanks!

Long story short, heading to the doctor tomorrow to see if I have a sinus infection. Something's just really wrong up in my skull. Going to bed with some McNapkins in case I have another surprise nose bleed...

Um... gonna have to cancel tonight's punkin stream. Overslept, just woke up with a killer migraine... sorry guys >n<

UPDATE: I have a sore throat and possibly a fever. I don't think it's Covid, I did get the both doses of the vaccine so that's not very likely. However, I FORGOT to get a flu shot, so depending on how I feel tomorrow I'll go get a flu test, maybe a strep test, and see if I need any antibiotics/antivirals. Sick on Samhain, booooo

WOOP WOOP

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43225942/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43225942/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43225942/

My dog Sophie passed away today... almost 2 years after Mimi did... I need some time. I'm not okay. I will be. But I'm not right now.

Because it sounded like fun.

https://artfight.net/~Pogostix

Just when I finally felt like making art again....

https://twitter.com/PogostixWithAnX.....64015624605696

I managed to get 1 last picture done before this happened, will post tomorrow

A friend of mine is doing writing commissions to help cover rent!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....Cw5CQnYyU/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....Cw5CQnYyU/edit
https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....Cw5CQnYyU/edit

Signal boost if you can! And do consider getting one, he's a wonderful guy to work with.

Hey guys. I'm taking a short break from, uh, kind of everything. A lot of crap has hit the fan in my life and I just don't have the energy for anything. I'm losing my house, my senior dog is dying, and my stepdad and mom are having marriage issues. So. I have a lot of emotions to deal with and a lot of things to pack.

To everyone who donated trying to save our house, thank you so much. You saved our butts from foreclosure for a long time. But it was just too little too late. The GoFundMe was our only source of income, and we had to live off of it, meaning that it bought us some time but couldn't be used to keep the house.

The plan, right now anyway, is for me and Luna (the dog who is not dying) to go live with my aunt until the end of May. After that... well we hope the house is sold and a new place is found before then.

... I'm getting very tired of living like "let's hope stuff works out before then" because so far it has consistently failed to work out. Like at all.

PLEASE HELP MY FRIENDS FIND A NEW PLACE TO LIVE! They've been living in one of our spare rooms, and the rent has helped keep us afloat for almost a year now, but we've accepted that even with their help we will have to sell. So they need a new place to go. They're wonderful and have been so helpful, and I'll be sad to see them go ;w;

Seba is a friend of mine, one of my best friends even. Brother from another mother. I only met Sam last year but he's great and I will vouch for both of them being grade A+ nice people. They helped spread my fundraiser around, now it's time for me to pay them back in kind.

EVEN IF YOU CANNOT DONATE, PLEASE SHARE. Spreading the word helps more than you'd think!

https://gofund.me/82aa32e5
https://gofund.me/82aa32e5
https://gofund.me/82aa32e5

WELP. Bills is bills is bills so I'm very cautiously and slowly reopening commissions. I've struggled with balancing commissions and my mental health in the past, so I'm currently just opening up a few slots for things I would like to do, if that makes sense?

I feel sort of like doing some painting, so, I'm opening up two slots for painted headshots at $50 US each. I will open more as time and energy permit
RULES:
1. First come, first served
2. All payments will be made via PayPal invoices
3. Any species, any gender
4. 1 character per piece
5. SFW ONLY.
6. I need a ref sheet to work off of. No descriptions this time, sorry!
7. Please include your favorite recent TV shows to prove you read this far (I need something new to binge watch >w>)

SLOTS
1.  Awareqwx Done!
2.  drakkasaige Done!
3.  Awareqwx
4.  Sarab the Wyvern
Further slots thisaway: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/41827859/

EXAMPLES:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/26941880/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27767107/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32748476/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/39929104/

Comment or note me if you're interested

https://strawpoll.com/59aoqfsjv
https://strawpoll.com/59aoqfsjv
https://strawpoll.com/59aoqfsjv

I'm going to try doing a live stream to raise funds to save my house. What would you prefer to watch? What do you think would be most interesting? What would you be most likely to share with the world?