I need to vent and I know barely anyone reads these.


Lately I have been struggling more and more with my mental health I have my highs and lows and of writing this I'm fine for the time being but I don't know how much more I can take. I try to not think about it but lately seems like life doesn't want me to forget about all the bad that's happening from the current state of the world and in my own life.


I'm grateful for my friends I made here but I always feel like I burden them with my problems whenever something comes up, and I don't think that's right. I have been commission more art like crazy than before its one of the few things that bring me joy if at all temporary.

Lately I can't sleep I been working more days than my usual schedule sure the money is ok for where I live but I can't feel like I'm not even cut out to do that sort of job I feel horrible like I'm robbing the place of money just for working there since I don't really do anything. I don't do anything productive or worthwhile. I thought I could people but I can't even do that properly. Makes me think what am I even good for I can't do anything someone my age should be able to do.


When I try to sleep I can't sleep more than 4-5 and when I do sleep I wake up to realistic nightmares they don't happen that often but it's enough to wake me up.


I know how all this is sounding but I'm not giving up I can't I don't have that luxury not yet at least. Feels like the world doesn't want me sometimes even if my friends say otherwise, I don't know how much longer I can keep going but I'll stick it out for the time being, I rather not worry anyone so that's why I decided to post this here where no one will see it

Hello it's been awhile but I'm hosting another character raffle this time supporting the talented  dapperwalrus

All the rules and conditions are on this Post below 👇https://www.furaffinity.net/view/61361204/

Well it's no secret it's my birthday today.

For starters I wanted to make s journal regarding this but I decided to wait when I was more mentally stable and that's usually around this time if year.

About a month or so ago I wanted to take my own life It feels so weird talking about it like This only a handful of people I trust knew about this.


The past few months haven't been easy for me I struggle a lot with many demons and feel like a burden to people by talking about This with them. But I know now that's not for me to decide it would have been selfish to go through with it.

Life isn't easy but it can get better and it will I'm blessed to have met such amazing people in my life especially on this site sure it has its problems but so far I have been touched deeply knowing kind people still exists in this cruel world




This people are a very important to me they know my struggles and what I'm going through and they have been so kind and supporting I'm very glad I met them in my life truly.


And I love to shout out another set of individuals that are not only wonderful artist but amazing human beings as well  DORI-DU  iamzavix not only have the made such amazing artworks of my characters but they are very kind individuals both of them I love and will continue to support them and you should too they are fantastic artists and even more wonderful people thank you both.


I know not what the future holds for me but I hope and have faith it will get better people have shown me that I'm probably not the best person to talk about this but if your ever feeling don't don't hesitate to talk to me I'm always open to meeting new people.


Until next time hoping take care.

 DORI-DU has made an amazing YCH go check it out you won't regret it
👇 👇 👇 👇

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59503425/

That's right it's almost my birthday next month and to kick things off I team up with  DORI-DU on a raffle this time it'll start my rabbit Korim and my Doberman man Ürily so if you been trying to get a some art with me nows the chance all the information will be posted in the link below 👇 👇 👇 https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59402128/


I love this community it has given me so many wonderful friends and I have able to interact with so many so this is my way of giving back


DO DON'T HESITATE COME ON AND PARTICIPATE
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59402128/

Limoncella is hosting a raffle go check them out
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59134810/

So I'm working with  iamzavix on a big commission piece and if you like to participate there are slots currently available for sale



https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58805915/

So it's the start of fall and well that's when usually at this time of season my mood radically shifts I can be happy and ok one day but the next I get all gloomy and depressed for no reason I then to have this under control but recently everything that's going on in my life I suddenly broke down and couldn't handle it. I felt a immense sorrow unlike no other, everything I been suppressing just hit me like 20 Japanese bullet trains.


I say I'm fine now but I'm not really sure but I talked with a lot of my friends online about how I'm feeling every single one has been extremely understanding and supporting and from the bottom of my heart thank them with with fiber of my soul.

Its already been 2 years since I been active on this site and I have encountered such wonderful individuals I'm very lucky to call my friends this site has it's problems no doubt but the fact I met these people makes me so glad I decided to make this site a part of my life I love the furry community so much even if it can be problematic at times.




Lasty I want to make a few things clear I'm very grateful for everyone that comments and favorites all the commission artwork I gotten it does mean alot but one reason why I have many characters is that they represent a fraction of my personality and characteristics. Sometimes good and bad and those that have been reading my descriptions and see a story it's no accident. I got big plans for all my characters and I can't promise some of you might like what's too come I might even lose watchers but the story I'm telling is really personal to me and if you can give this shitty writer a chance and read my story I appreciate that dearly. I might slow down my activity here but if you want to chat on discord hit me up I'm always down to meet new people.

 iamzavix is hosting a raffle please consider participating and if not go check out their YCH up for sale

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58313143/

Last year I missed I'm out on a very special day for me since i discovery it but todays is international raccoon appreciation day and as such I commission a few artwork to celebrate.


Also fun fact raccoons are native to North America and are actually a invasive species in Europe and Japan

Zdorova is hosting a raffle on her server

https://discord.gg/YsETQV5t

lushil is hosting a raffle https://www.furaffinity.net/view/56886271/

Well it's been another year and time has past by for me I'm officially 26 I can't thank everyone enough for all the favorites and watches i gotten on all the art I commission these past 2 years I been heavily active in this site

Im don't really make journals as much but I felt it was important to go over the past year I have been more ative on this site since the late 2022 and over that time I have gotten a vast amount of artwork and too many OCs but the main thing is the Wonderful people I met who would have thought me going to peoples gallerys would spark up many Wonderful friendships I'm really grateful for everything hope the 2024 I can share more art of my characters and the world they inhabit and to met more wonderful people as well

Crydogg is hosting a raffle https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54549907/

Lyorenth-The-DragonIs is hosting a raffle
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54670334/

Thank you guys so much for watching and favoriting my commission artworks of my characters it means a lot to me that people are interested in them I don't know how to thank you all for this perhaps I'll host a raffle for everyone that follows me to get some custom art with one of my characters though I don't know who might read this since journals don't get as much attention

Oxygeni is hosting a raffle check it out
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54490611/

Another great artist doing a raffle
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54161603/

This artist is hosting a raffle

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54157201/

Check out this raffle


https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54005221/

Go and check out this artist raffle


https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53928256/