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Ho boy!
Posted 7 years agoIt's gonna be weird now when people ask me "So how old are you now"? And I'm gonna be like, "Uhh... I'm uh... 27 years old"... Looks like it's gonna be a great day today.
My Apologies
Posted 8 years agoFirstly I apologize for not letting you guys know whats happening in life currently. Things have been getting in the way of me drawing stuff every other day regarding financial and home stuff and family related things.
Second, recently I have come to a realization that I need to address. Like many artists we start off rocky trying to make our way trying to make their way and live off of their hobby and try to make a few bucks. I am pulling out of that stage in life now that i've had some experience but I have made mistakes and have failed to live up to my word and too far too much time.
I am making this journal to apologize to anyone still waiting on commissions from me, I have made the mistake of letting work pile up saying yes to almost every offer I got. I intend to finish what Ive started but if any of you would like yo cancel and of yours thats fine and you will be reimbursed but if you are still fine with waiting a little more I intend to knock out these commissions I have left to do.
again I apologize for my irresponsibilities. I don't want to disappoint anyone.
Second, recently I have come to a realization that I need to address. Like many artists we start off rocky trying to make our way trying to make their way and live off of their hobby and try to make a few bucks. I am pulling out of that stage in life now that i've had some experience but I have made mistakes and have failed to live up to my word and too far too much time.
I am making this journal to apologize to anyone still waiting on commissions from me, I have made the mistake of letting work pile up saying yes to almost every offer I got. I intend to finish what Ive started but if any of you would like yo cancel and of yours thats fine and you will be reimbursed but if you are still fine with waiting a little more I intend to knock out these commissions I have left to do.
again I apologize for my irresponsibilities. I don't want to disappoint anyone.
For a tomorrow
Posted 9 years agoHey, I know people are in dismay and shock today… but consider this, We are now more woke than we ever were in the history of America. We now see what has been going on in this country for years and years and we are living in a time of technology where we learned that they have taken our democracy away from us and gave us the illusion that we still had one while companies influence the politicians to do as they say. We know what Clinton and the DNC has done to take an election from US the people, they laughed and sipped wine from on high thinking “Oh it will be a land slide victory for us.” and because of what we all saw, people decided to throw a brick at the establishment who laughed and scoffed at us and as a last “FUCK YOU” to them people voted Trump in to prove that we still have our democracy and their oligarchy is not welcome here! We still have a fight on our hands no matter who won, but we can at the very least take a moment to appreciate that we the people still have a voice even with the shitty choices we were given, no… Forced to have. None was winning with who we had, with all the posts and videos I see a majority of us going “This isn’t the end, we must be strong and we can’t give up because of this”. And I am happy to see this. Unlike those loser democrat elites we aren’t all stupid and ignorant, we woke up and are more involved, We will fight against the hatred that Trump brings and the sheep that follow him and we will drown it out with love and compassion and truth. Most importantly, keep living your life. We have had people like him in office before and we are still here. Also I hope this serves as a lesson to the corrupt democratic establishment and media that you do NOT screw with us or Karma will come back.
This may seem like a step back but it is turning out to be a step forward because we all are brought a whole lot closer to a common goal standing against a common enemy, ball is in our court now. spread awareness, kindness, love, compassion, objective truth and never say Die. Trump will feel the Burn of America.
This may seem like a step back but it is turning out to be a step forward because we all are brought a whole lot closer to a common goal standing against a common enemy, ball is in our court now. spread awareness, kindness, love, compassion, objective truth and never say Die. Trump will feel the Burn of America.
Another goal to reach
Posted 9 years agoFirst off I'm sorry for the lack of activity here, Things have been quite hairy as of late with the whole job hunting failing once again and rent month rapidly approaching and me scrambling to rake in enough funds to pay it.
Another issue has reared its ugly head and that is time. It is starting to reach that time after 7 years of hard work from my macbook pro 2009 laptop to where its hardware is beginning to really show its age and I cant replace it.
I did not want to have to do this but given my current situation of living in a new City living off of commission work and Very generous donation from very good people I know, my rent bill and food expenses is sucking up any money I could save for anything else. Anything I do spend outside those things are very risky. the job hunting business has been less than satisfactory I’m afraid and if anything were to happen to my laptop now then there goes my only source of income.
So, in order to continue my work I am going to need to buy a new computer since mine is quite old and is slowly starting to sputter out due to old hardware. This funding will be put towards this and to hopefully have a little left over for other accessories for it I may need later on. I enjoy drawing for you guys and I want to keep doing it, it has and always will be my passion. So If you could spare 1$ or even $10 to put towards this goal I will be eternally in your debt and ill be able to provide you guys with more arts! This funding will only go towards this and hopefully have enough left over for extra accessories or programs or hardware I may need for it.
So after a long debate with myself I have decided that I would just bite the bullet and create a Gofundme, To all who are supporting me to help pay for rent so far Thank you so much and I hope I can make this work! If you cannot donate thats alright, a reblog or passing this to a friend would help me out a lot as well!
gofund.me/25w7rzg
once again Thank you!
Another issue has reared its ugly head and that is time. It is starting to reach that time after 7 years of hard work from my macbook pro 2009 laptop to where its hardware is beginning to really show its age and I cant replace it.
I did not want to have to do this but given my current situation of living in a new City living off of commission work and Very generous donation from very good people I know, my rent bill and food expenses is sucking up any money I could save for anything else. Anything I do spend outside those things are very risky. the job hunting business has been less than satisfactory I’m afraid and if anything were to happen to my laptop now then there goes my only source of income.
So, in order to continue my work I am going to need to buy a new computer since mine is quite old and is slowly starting to sputter out due to old hardware. This funding will be put towards this and to hopefully have a little left over for other accessories for it I may need later on. I enjoy drawing for you guys and I want to keep doing it, it has and always will be my passion. So If you could spare 1$ or even $10 to put towards this goal I will be eternally in your debt and ill be able to provide you guys with more arts! This funding will only go towards this and hopefully have enough left over for extra accessories or programs or hardware I may need for it.
So after a long debate with myself I have decided that I would just bite the bullet and create a Gofundme, To all who are supporting me to help pay for rent so far Thank you so much and I hope I can make this work! If you cannot donate thats alright, a reblog or passing this to a friend would help me out a lot as well!
gofund.me/25w7rzg
once again Thank you!
Commission information
Posted 10 years agoAlrighty folks, First if I'd like to thank everyone who helped me out with commissions and donations so that I could pay my rent It was a very short frame of time that I needed to raise that money and you all pitched in and pulled through for me and I am very grateful of it! Things have been pretty hectic moving in and getting settled in and job hunting (still unsuccessful at that but still trying).
Now it's time to begin again, this time I am going to have to raise $500 for rent by the 3rd of each month so I will be reopening commissions. I will be working until the deadline for commissions.
So here's the deal, to make things short and sweet I'm gonna have to do it like this in order to make it happen for the next year should the whole job situation not work out before then. The reason why I haven't opened commissions before is that most of my time I've been spending on job hunting and other things but I think this can work out. And due to a change in living expenses I am increasing the prices by 10 to compensate for it, thank you for your understanding!
So! Let's get to it!
(+ possible background)
Sketch commissions:
beginning at $40 bust sketch $65 full body extra characters $25 each
Lined commissions:
Beginning at $75 extra characters $35 each
Basic color:
Beginning at $95 extra characters $45,
character reference sheets (front and back with lines) $120 (with color) $135, Alt clothes/ accessaries $45
Full color full service:
Beginning at $120 extra characters $50
And since I do my business via paypal there is a $10 tax fee they will take from my earnings.
If you could provide visual references to your commission that would be very helpful, descriptions are not so easy to work with but I can do that.
And if you would like to just toss some donations to support my living conditions (of which I am deeply grateful for) you can go here to do so, you can donate as much as you like! Alternate versions can be haggled on price.
or raistlinalston[at]live.com via paypal
So after a long debate with myself, I have decided that I would just bite the bullet and create a Gofundme, To all who are supporting me to help pay for rent so far Thank you so much and I hope I can make this work! If you cannot donate that's alright, a reblog or passing this to a friend would help me out a lot as well! Link to that is here https://www.gofundme.com/Raistlincomputer
I am sorry if it may seem like too much considering the state of the world we're in, but I seriously do need help and I've tried to do it the old fashioned way and go out and online to find work. Hopefully, this can work out and I can get myself fully planted into the soil here without getting blown away.
Dos and don'ts:
Generally, i'm a pretty flexible and open-minded guy and will draw most things but I have my limits so i'll keep this short and sweet.
I do both SFW and NSFW commissions, I will not be posting porn artwork on any of my pages however (gotta keep my pages somewhat clean out of respect for the audience) so for those of you who want some NSFW things here's the rules; No Futa, Femboys, Inflation, hyper, scat, water sports, diapers, tentacles, rape, bestiality, bukakke, cuckolding, Incest, tentacles, macro/ micro, gore (not really good at drawing that yet), or selling of my own characters for sexual gratifications. I'm probably forgetting a few fetishes these crazy kids are into these days but you get the idea, i aint about all that complicated and arguably cringeworthy stuff, of course, I don't really want to judge you if you're into it i'm just not.
So if you are interested, sound off! And if you cannot buy then a signal boost would help immensely, Pass this info on to as many people as you can. My deepest thanks in advance!
I am also on Da http://omnoproxyl337.deviantart.com/
And tumblr http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/
terms of service: Don't take my property and use it without my authorization, easy.
Now it's time to begin again, this time I am going to have to raise $500 for rent by the 3rd of each month so I will be reopening commissions. I will be working until the deadline for commissions.
So here's the deal, to make things short and sweet I'm gonna have to do it like this in order to make it happen for the next year should the whole job situation not work out before then. The reason why I haven't opened commissions before is that most of my time I've been spending on job hunting and other things but I think this can work out. And due to a change in living expenses I am increasing the prices by 10 to compensate for it, thank you for your understanding!
So! Let's get to it!
(+ possible background)
Sketch commissions:
beginning at $40 bust sketch $65 full body extra characters $25 each
Lined commissions:
Beginning at $75 extra characters $35 each
Basic color:
Beginning at $95 extra characters $45,
character reference sheets (front and back with lines) $120 (with color) $135, Alt clothes/ accessaries $45
Full color full service:
Beginning at $120 extra characters $50
And since I do my business via paypal there is a $10 tax fee they will take from my earnings.
If you could provide visual references to your commission that would be very helpful, descriptions are not so easy to work with but I can do that.
And if you would like to just toss some donations to support my living conditions (of which I am deeply grateful for) you can go here to do so, you can donate as much as you like! Alternate versions can be haggled on price.
or raistlinalston[at]live.com via paypal
So after a long debate with myself, I have decided that I would just bite the bullet and create a Gofundme, To all who are supporting me to help pay for rent so far Thank you so much and I hope I can make this work! If you cannot donate that's alright, a reblog or passing this to a friend would help me out a lot as well! Link to that is here https://www.gofundme.com/Raistlincomputer
I am sorry if it may seem like too much considering the state of the world we're in, but I seriously do need help and I've tried to do it the old fashioned way and go out and online to find work. Hopefully, this can work out and I can get myself fully planted into the soil here without getting blown away.
Dos and don'ts:
Generally, i'm a pretty flexible and open-minded guy and will draw most things but I have my limits so i'll keep this short and sweet.
I do both SFW and NSFW commissions, I will not be posting porn artwork on any of my pages however (gotta keep my pages somewhat clean out of respect for the audience) so for those of you who want some NSFW things here's the rules; No Futa, Femboys, Inflation, hyper, scat, water sports, diapers, tentacles, rape, bestiality, bukakke, cuckolding, Incest, tentacles, macro/ micro, gore (not really good at drawing that yet), or selling of my own characters for sexual gratifications. I'm probably forgetting a few fetishes these crazy kids are into these days but you get the idea, i aint about all that complicated and arguably cringeworthy stuff, of course, I don't really want to judge you if you're into it i'm just not.
So if you are interested, sound off! And if you cannot buy then a signal boost would help immensely, Pass this info on to as many people as you can. My deepest thanks in advance!
I am also on Da http://omnoproxyl337.deviantart.com/
And tumblr http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/
terms of service: Don't take my property and use it without my authorization, easy.
In need of some help
Posted 10 years agoRecently I have made my escape from a seemingly impossible situation thanks to a really great friend of mine here in Philadelphia, since i’ve arrived i’ve been doing a lot of job hunting and came close twice to securing one, but due to complications I haven’t yet been hired for anything i’ve applied for so far.
So… until I can secure a job job in this new place I’m gonna have to do what I know i’m good at to have somewhat of an income because this is getting problematic, so I’m gonna have to open commissions.
I have a place here i’m currently staying where I would only have to pay rent which is $800 to $900 a month, and while it may seem like a lot of money hear me out here! This place doesn’t require people to pay for PG&E, water, trash or internet so other than food this is a pretty good deal. So here’s the deal, to make things short and sweet i’m gonna have to do it like this in order to make it happen for the next couple months should the whole job situation doesn’t work out before then. The reason why I haven’t opened commissions before is because most of my time i’ve been spending on job hunting and other things.
So, to make the work load a little lenient to where I can do this and also spend time job hunting.
I can either take 8 $100 full color (+ possible background) drawings full HD Plus the PSD file.
Traditional Media > Other">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/125148218704
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/124408589609
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/115093580254
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/113727571859
Traditional Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/108331443414
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/67207029611
OR 16 $50 flat color (+ possible back ground) drawings
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/post/.....e-skype-with-a
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
deviantID">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/80067941363
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/67208445623
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/74018131762
I deeply apologize if it may seem like too much considering the state of the world we’re in, but I seriously do need help and I’ve tried to do it the old fashioned way and go out and on line to find work. Hopefully this can work out and I can get myself fully planted into the soil here without getting blown away.
I am generally flexible as to what I will draw, but let’s not get crazy with the explicit content if it’s all the same
So if you are interested, sound off! And if not, a reblog/ signal boost would help immensely <3
My deepest thanks in advance! <3
And should anyone want to graciously donate to the cause, Paypal Address is raistlinalston[at]live.com
Also as a future reference to what I will and wont draw here; No Futa, Inflation, hyper, scat, water sports, tentacles, rape, beastiality, gore (not really good at drawing that yet), or selling of my own characters for sexual gratifications. I will be open all month
So… until I can secure a job job in this new place I’m gonna have to do what I know i’m good at to have somewhat of an income because this is getting problematic, so I’m gonna have to open commissions.
I have a place here i’m currently staying where I would only have to pay rent which is $800 to $900 a month, and while it may seem like a lot of money hear me out here! This place doesn’t require people to pay for PG&E, water, trash or internet so other than food this is a pretty good deal. So here’s the deal, to make things short and sweet i’m gonna have to do it like this in order to make it happen for the next couple months should the whole job situation doesn’t work out before then. The reason why I haven’t opened commissions before is because most of my time i’ve been spending on job hunting and other things.
So, to make the work load a little lenient to where I can do this and also spend time job hunting.
I can either take 8 $100 full color (+ possible background) drawings full HD Plus the PSD file.
Traditional Media > Other">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/125148218704
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/124408589609
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/115093580254
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/113727571859
Traditional Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/108331443414
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/67207029611
OR 16 $50 flat color (+ possible back ground) drawings
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/post/.....e-skype-with-a
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">
deviantID">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/80067941363
Digital Media > Drawings > Fantasy & Mythology">http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/67208445623
http://ricofoxmods.tumblr.com/image/74018131762
I deeply apologize if it may seem like too much considering the state of the world we’re in, but I seriously do need help and I’ve tried to do it the old fashioned way and go out and on line to find work. Hopefully this can work out and I can get myself fully planted into the soil here without getting blown away.
I am generally flexible as to what I will draw, but let’s not get crazy with the explicit content if it’s all the same
So if you are interested, sound off! And if not, a reblog/ signal boost would help immensely <3
My deepest thanks in advance! <3
And should anyone want to graciously donate to the cause, Paypal Address is raistlinalston[at]live.com
Also as a future reference to what I will and wont draw here; No Futa, Inflation, hyper, scat, water sports, tentacles, rape, beastiality, gore (not really good at drawing that yet), or selling of my own characters for sexual gratifications. I will be open all month
Man im stumped
Posted 10 years agoWhy is getting a job so damn hard?
And people tell me all the time “Just get a job” fuck I wish it was that easy… doing this shit for 8 years now trying every trick in the book every possible method of landing a legit steady income 9 to 5 suggested to me by everyone i’ve talked to, going for every single place that may be hiring that I can get to and still nothing. Damn!
Not only that but i'm trapped out here and I don't know what else to do, I cant go anywhere because I don't have the money I need to get there nor the means of transportation. Commissions are out of the question because I either don't have time and can't make enough money in time to afford things, and anyone I can go to for help is too far away and the situation at home is getting desperate and I don't know how much time I have left before I get kicked out.
I am at a loss.
And people tell me all the time “Just get a job” fuck I wish it was that easy… doing this shit for 8 years now trying every trick in the book every possible method of landing a legit steady income 9 to 5 suggested to me by everyone i’ve talked to, going for every single place that may be hiring that I can get to and still nothing. Damn!
Not only that but i'm trapped out here and I don't know what else to do, I cant go anywhere because I don't have the money I need to get there nor the means of transportation. Commissions are out of the question because I either don't have time and can't make enough money in time to afford things, and anyone I can go to for help is too far away and the situation at home is getting desperate and I don't know how much time I have left before I get kicked out.
I am at a loss.
Bitter sweet...
Posted 12 years agoSo ive finally done it. Ive let my Dad go on about his life where he will continue it living and dying all alone void of the people closest to him...
My whole life i had been raised and taught to show Respect and Restraint no matter how much my blood boiled, most of the time that backfires and people take my held back wrath for a weakness and proceed to walk all over me and not even care if it hurts. and if i finally reach that point where i had enough and get mad then theyre the victim in it...
So for those of you who dont know let me give you a quick summary of the kinda man he is.
he is a 54 year old who has the maturity level of a 13 year old boy. he must always be right, and if he's wrong he's the victim, he can never be told he's wrong about something, he must know more than everyone younger than him because he is over 5o years old. he has hardly any respect for women he's closer to, he's a monogamist, material things matter more than emotional things. oh and he must be appreciated and praised for the "charitably nice" things he's done for people, and if you don't do nice things back then you're selfish and only think of yourself. he disguises his douchery for "being honest telling it like it is".
my mother chose him because he is good with kids and she really needed someone to help raise me (though she did most of that anyway with me) and he was good to me as a kid, unfortunately since he's got a low maturity level i ended up outgrowing him at 12 years old.
from there on i saw him for who he truly was, however i couldn't stand up to him because i was so close to him and i was raised to have the utmost respect for him. so he did his monogamy thing with my mom and she wasn't having it and cut him off, since then she's pretty much told him to fuck off every time he tried to talk to her, though the only reason she conversed with him was for my sake because he was my dad n all.
ever since my ma got married finally she's just been keeping her distance from him but for some reason he keeps trying to talk to her, I'm only to assume that its because of me. most of the time she don't reply... until she finally started telling him the truth about how much of an ass he was to her, me and everyone else he knew and dealt with in the past, shed tell him to basically own up to his bad behavior and stop trying to get away with it. I distanced myself from him completely in 2012 and only talked to him when it was necessary, other than that i left him alone.
couple days ago he sent her a message and ended it by basically calling her a whore because she has two kids by two different men years ago, my sister an I... and of course that was his reaction to her telling him to own up and he didnt care if he was rude or not. so i finally had it, not only has he disrespected me growing up but he also had the gaul to disrespect my mother knowing id see it.Talking to him via using voices really wasnt gonna cut it so he and I had a brief Text chat.... My message to him i had finally let out all that i had bottle up and even still kept my cool and was respectful to a degree...
"Ok I'm having to rethink my approach with you on the matter earlier because talking with voice is not gonna cut it since you seem to think it's okay to cut me off to interject on your authority over me so I'll make this brief because I'm not interested In getting into a long haired discussion with you. So I want to make this perfectly clear when I say this, under any circumstance are you to disrespect my mother, I don't care how mad at her you are for her telling you what you don't wanna hear. And I don't care what your reasoning is for texting/calling her is, you do not cross that line with me. Like I said earlier if you have any concerns regarding me you talk to me, you don't need to go through her about me you have my number.
I have done my very best to show you and give you the up most respect, respect for you as a person and respect for you as my dad, and not once have I cursed at you like you have to me, not once have I interrupted you when you spoke, not once have I physically attacked you as much as I really wanted to for the way you've talked down on me, disrespected me or made me feel absolutely worthless. I held my tongue and showed restrain no matter how much my blood boiled. True I made mistakes, I sure did and I paid the price every time... I own up to how I chose to ack and what bad choices I've made... Would you? Of course not, you never have and I'm pretty confident you never will. You shown me that through how you acted and continue to, not once have you come to me and apologize for breaking my mothers heart, that was the first time I ever saw her cry and I had to pick up the pieces. Not even a "sorry I messed up".
Why, because you can do no wrong you're only trying to help. Yeah I'm aware of why I didn't see a bunch of women at your house, was because Luv made sure to keep you in line as a parent. Now don't you try to pull the "after all I did and got for you" card and make me feel guilt, I was sure to show and say my appreciation for everything you've done. You say you wanna be my friend? Here's how you can start, own up to your bad behavior, stop thinking you can get away with whatever you want to just because you're 53 years old, understand that there are consequences to every choice you make, material things are not the end all be all and understand that the world don't revolve around you or what you want and finally... Have some goddamn respect! I don't talk you like I have no sense and I don't call you names for disagreeing with you like how you like to call me a " wise-ass". Or... Don't and see how far that gets you. Out of the respect my mother raised me to show, I'm willing to give you a shot. You cross the boundary line with me and there will be consequences. Much love for you".
and of course my message to him had fallen on deaf ears as did anything else ive tried to say to him in the past, only this time he literally has nothing to threaten me with or hold over my head. His Reaction to my message...
"First of all ,i apologized to you, today when we talked. When have material things ever been big to me....how many new cars have u ever seen me have. A little nissan sentra WOW.. REALLY INTO material things there buddy that car is still my main car 13 years later...RESPECT... earn some be a MAN being 22 doesnt make you a man...making your own way in life does..paying your own way does,buying your own clothes does,your own food does,paying your own rent does . Seems like you gave that a shot with no rent due at all with your three best friends....little tougher than u thought, and u had 3 roomates to help. So i dont need u to tell me anything about respect earn some and youll get some. And by the way your mother had nothing to do about keeping me in line .i was raised by Ladies..my mother and grandmother. Period. Imade the choice based on how i was raised. Be a man grow up. And dont ever threaten me about physically attacking me".
As you can see i was willing to forgive and get him to turn over a new leaf, however he made his choice... I am not worthy of his respect and i can never be an adult man to him, nothing more than a child... there is no reason to even try to continue to have a relationship with him because it will not get better. I had finally stood up for myself and my mother, only to gain a bitter sweet victory... because i care about him as my dad, it makes me sad that he will never change, he will remain this way until his dying breath and he will be all alone up until then because he has driven away everyone close to him with the way he is.
Thanks to anyone that bothered to brave this wall of text...
Being the bigger man is hard to do.
My whole life i had been raised and taught to show Respect and Restraint no matter how much my blood boiled, most of the time that backfires and people take my held back wrath for a weakness and proceed to walk all over me and not even care if it hurts. and if i finally reach that point where i had enough and get mad then theyre the victim in it...
So for those of you who dont know let me give you a quick summary of the kinda man he is.
he is a 54 year old who has the maturity level of a 13 year old boy. he must always be right, and if he's wrong he's the victim, he can never be told he's wrong about something, he must know more than everyone younger than him because he is over 5o years old. he has hardly any respect for women he's closer to, he's a monogamist, material things matter more than emotional things. oh and he must be appreciated and praised for the "charitably nice" things he's done for people, and if you don't do nice things back then you're selfish and only think of yourself. he disguises his douchery for "being honest telling it like it is".
my mother chose him because he is good with kids and she really needed someone to help raise me (though she did most of that anyway with me) and he was good to me as a kid, unfortunately since he's got a low maturity level i ended up outgrowing him at 12 years old.
from there on i saw him for who he truly was, however i couldn't stand up to him because i was so close to him and i was raised to have the utmost respect for him. so he did his monogamy thing with my mom and she wasn't having it and cut him off, since then she's pretty much told him to fuck off every time he tried to talk to her, though the only reason she conversed with him was for my sake because he was my dad n all.
ever since my ma got married finally she's just been keeping her distance from him but for some reason he keeps trying to talk to her, I'm only to assume that its because of me. most of the time she don't reply... until she finally started telling him the truth about how much of an ass he was to her, me and everyone else he knew and dealt with in the past, shed tell him to basically own up to his bad behavior and stop trying to get away with it. I distanced myself from him completely in 2012 and only talked to him when it was necessary, other than that i left him alone.
couple days ago he sent her a message and ended it by basically calling her a whore because she has two kids by two different men years ago, my sister an I... and of course that was his reaction to her telling him to own up and he didnt care if he was rude or not. so i finally had it, not only has he disrespected me growing up but he also had the gaul to disrespect my mother knowing id see it.Talking to him via using voices really wasnt gonna cut it so he and I had a brief Text chat.... My message to him i had finally let out all that i had bottle up and even still kept my cool and was respectful to a degree...
"Ok I'm having to rethink my approach with you on the matter earlier because talking with voice is not gonna cut it since you seem to think it's okay to cut me off to interject on your authority over me so I'll make this brief because I'm not interested In getting into a long haired discussion with you. So I want to make this perfectly clear when I say this, under any circumstance are you to disrespect my mother, I don't care how mad at her you are for her telling you what you don't wanna hear. And I don't care what your reasoning is for texting/calling her is, you do not cross that line with me. Like I said earlier if you have any concerns regarding me you talk to me, you don't need to go through her about me you have my number.
I have done my very best to show you and give you the up most respect, respect for you as a person and respect for you as my dad, and not once have I cursed at you like you have to me, not once have I interrupted you when you spoke, not once have I physically attacked you as much as I really wanted to for the way you've talked down on me, disrespected me or made me feel absolutely worthless. I held my tongue and showed restrain no matter how much my blood boiled. True I made mistakes, I sure did and I paid the price every time... I own up to how I chose to ack and what bad choices I've made... Would you? Of course not, you never have and I'm pretty confident you never will. You shown me that through how you acted and continue to, not once have you come to me and apologize for breaking my mothers heart, that was the first time I ever saw her cry and I had to pick up the pieces. Not even a "sorry I messed up".
Why, because you can do no wrong you're only trying to help. Yeah I'm aware of why I didn't see a bunch of women at your house, was because Luv made sure to keep you in line as a parent. Now don't you try to pull the "after all I did and got for you" card and make me feel guilt, I was sure to show and say my appreciation for everything you've done. You say you wanna be my friend? Here's how you can start, own up to your bad behavior, stop thinking you can get away with whatever you want to just because you're 53 years old, understand that there are consequences to every choice you make, material things are not the end all be all and understand that the world don't revolve around you or what you want and finally... Have some goddamn respect! I don't talk you like I have no sense and I don't call you names for disagreeing with you like how you like to call me a " wise-ass". Or... Don't and see how far that gets you. Out of the respect my mother raised me to show, I'm willing to give you a shot. You cross the boundary line with me and there will be consequences. Much love for you".
and of course my message to him had fallen on deaf ears as did anything else ive tried to say to him in the past, only this time he literally has nothing to threaten me with or hold over my head. His Reaction to my message...
"First of all ,i apologized to you, today when we talked. When have material things ever been big to me....how many new cars have u ever seen me have. A little nissan sentra WOW.. REALLY INTO material things there buddy that car is still my main car 13 years later...RESPECT... earn some be a MAN being 22 doesnt make you a man...making your own way in life does..paying your own way does,buying your own clothes does,your own food does,paying your own rent does . Seems like you gave that a shot with no rent due at all with your three best friends....little tougher than u thought, and u had 3 roomates to help. So i dont need u to tell me anything about respect earn some and youll get some. And by the way your mother had nothing to do about keeping me in line .i was raised by Ladies..my mother and grandmother. Period. Imade the choice based on how i was raised. Be a man grow up. And dont ever threaten me about physically attacking me".
As you can see i was willing to forgive and get him to turn over a new leaf, however he made his choice... I am not worthy of his respect and i can never be an adult man to him, nothing more than a child... there is no reason to even try to continue to have a relationship with him because it will not get better. I had finally stood up for myself and my mother, only to gain a bitter sweet victory... because i care about him as my dad, it makes me sad that he will never change, he will remain this way until his dying breath and he will be all alone up until then because he has driven away everyone close to him with the way he is.
Thanks to anyone that bothered to brave this wall of text...
Being the bigger man is hard to do.
How I feel.
Posted 12 years agoive been approached about this subject by several people and i feel like i must adress this so you all can know where i stand in this. and hopefully this will answer any questions you might have in the future.
when i was living with my dad he would take me with him some times when he went to play baseball or to go to work, he would constantly make goo goo eyes at every woman he passed by, even ask me all the time "isnt she beautiful" "man she is sexy" and this was the time when he was dating my mom, and i was raised to treat people fairly so of course i was conflicted, anyway later he had an affair with my mom with some woman he got himself involved with, it tore my mom appart to know that he thought so little of her to willingly go out and cheat her like that, and this was on tip of the fact that he didnt really respect her much as a person.
and then when she had enough she let him go and so did I.
where am i going with this you might wonder? well durring my time with my dad i noticed that all he really cared about was sex and who he could get it from, he didnt care how it would effect them or how it made him look as a person, a father figure and a role model. same thing with my biological father except he would bring women in and out of the house from te clubs he went to, both of them destroyed my mother emotionally. so thats when i made up my mind, and this sorta got to me every time by what my dad says and what his friends say... "your young, there are so many girls out there you could get why just settle for one" or something along those lines. none of them could wrap their minds around the fact that i was dead set on having One and only one woman, and be with her as long as i can and give the relationship 110% effort, never so much as loot at another woman as long as im with her.
well im here to tell you all... unlike a lot of people im not desperately in need of some pussy, if push came to shove i can live without it if i had to, and i do currently. dont get me wrong its nice to have and i love it but its not at the top of my priority list like it is for a lot of others. but the main reason is that i value my purity and reserve it for the right girl to give it to, not just tarnish it and give it up to whatever girl is interested in me, in my opinion thats quite whorish, not to mention desperate for a want or desire. plus its in my opinion more special to share my body with the right someone rather than getting as much pussy as possible. and that too is also pretty shallow and one track minded. and im not really like that. and i dont really wanna be. i believe in respect for self and for others, i also believe in priority.
neither are my characters, ive had several guys come to me asking "hey! do you RP? lets RP together" and when i ask what it consist of, they usually ask if i can RP as a certain girl of mine or its going to be romance er whatever. i am here to tell you all that i am not at all interested in Roleplaying about these things. the characters i draw serve one purpose. mine. none of them will be whoring out for you. i understand its a way of interaction and getting to know one another and i get that. but ive had too much of the wrong thing so ill not be RPing with anyone at all.
now allow me to apologize in full, even though i separate my actual ideals from my art life i just so happen to love what i draw and i love women and i also enjoy and appreciate the feedback i get from you guys. I take responsibility for the art that i do and i understand that many of them are attractive to you. but their purpose is to serve me and the stories i have set up for each of them. i hope you can understand, this is just how i feel.
No im not angry or annoyed this time, im just being honest with all of you. ^^
when i was living with my dad he would take me with him some times when he went to play baseball or to go to work, he would constantly make goo goo eyes at every woman he passed by, even ask me all the time "isnt she beautiful" "man she is sexy" and this was the time when he was dating my mom, and i was raised to treat people fairly so of course i was conflicted, anyway later he had an affair with my mom with some woman he got himself involved with, it tore my mom appart to know that he thought so little of her to willingly go out and cheat her like that, and this was on tip of the fact that he didnt really respect her much as a person.
and then when she had enough she let him go and so did I.
where am i going with this you might wonder? well durring my time with my dad i noticed that all he really cared about was sex and who he could get it from, he didnt care how it would effect them or how it made him look as a person, a father figure and a role model. same thing with my biological father except he would bring women in and out of the house from te clubs he went to, both of them destroyed my mother emotionally. so thats when i made up my mind, and this sorta got to me every time by what my dad says and what his friends say... "your young, there are so many girls out there you could get why just settle for one" or something along those lines. none of them could wrap their minds around the fact that i was dead set on having One and only one woman, and be with her as long as i can and give the relationship 110% effort, never so much as loot at another woman as long as im with her.
well im here to tell you all... unlike a lot of people im not desperately in need of some pussy, if push came to shove i can live without it if i had to, and i do currently. dont get me wrong its nice to have and i love it but its not at the top of my priority list like it is for a lot of others. but the main reason is that i value my purity and reserve it for the right girl to give it to, not just tarnish it and give it up to whatever girl is interested in me, in my opinion thats quite whorish, not to mention desperate for a want or desire. plus its in my opinion more special to share my body with the right someone rather than getting as much pussy as possible. and that too is also pretty shallow and one track minded. and im not really like that. and i dont really wanna be. i believe in respect for self and for others, i also believe in priority.
neither are my characters, ive had several guys come to me asking "hey! do you RP? lets RP together" and when i ask what it consist of, they usually ask if i can RP as a certain girl of mine or its going to be romance er whatever. i am here to tell you all that i am not at all interested in Roleplaying about these things. the characters i draw serve one purpose. mine. none of them will be whoring out for you. i understand its a way of interaction and getting to know one another and i get that. but ive had too much of the wrong thing so ill not be RPing with anyone at all.
now allow me to apologize in full, even though i separate my actual ideals from my art life i just so happen to love what i draw and i love women and i also enjoy and appreciate the feedback i get from you guys. I take responsibility for the art that i do and i understand that many of them are attractive to you. but their purpose is to serve me and the stories i have set up for each of them. i hope you can understand, this is just how i feel.
No im not angry or annoyed this time, im just being honest with all of you. ^^
Looks like...
Posted 12 years agorecently ive been really thinking to myself after a conversation i had the other day and ive come to a conclusion. and that conclusion is that I have a problem… a big problem, and this problem is holding me back quite a lot in my recent years in practically almost everything i do in life or could do and its effecting me and the people around me. in my previous journal i talked about the other half of my problem, as stated before through out my life i have been classified as “Sloth”, to this day im having the hardest time overcoming this, i want to be rid of it but i have no idea how to without gradually falling back into the habit.
its a double edges sword too, on the upside not a lot gets to me and i dont require anymore than the bare minimum to survive, that means a weeks worth of clothes, 1 pair of shoes at least 1 maybe 2 meals a day, a place to sleep. the bare minimum. on the down side i lack the motivation to move on things because i have most of what i require which is the bare minimum…
and because i dont require much i also dont want for much. i dont have a need to pursue anything beyond what sustains me. and that my dear friends is my life’s problem… my bane, and also the reason why ive made it this far without going crazy or ending up a dead man. some of you have asked for my new years resolution, well this is it. overcome my sin, SLOTH though i have no idea how to do a permanent solution sadly… thats one half of my problem, and here is the other half, and a friend of mine brought this to my attention and it seemed to match how i was feeling.
Purpose. that is it, i feel like i lack a purpose in anything besides surviving and living anything else feels like “eh”. because im so comfortable with how things are with my life as of right now i havnt had the need or the want to pursue anything else that may be useful to me. Purpose… i donno what it is, what to look for, how to look for it, where to find it, i donnow what it is if i found it, donno what to do with it once i have it, in other words im lost, and i donno which way i wanna go or if i go that way i donnow if i wanna keep going or go somewhere else. i just feel like i lack purpose and i am a sloth. i have a strong will, and that is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.
donno what to do about it, how to go about doing it or if solving it will work for me or not.
just really lost.
mind you this is just how i feel
you probly dont really care that im telling you this, or maybe you do, i have no idea honestly. just lettin you know for future reference to myself, and that maybe i can find a solution to my problem.
its a double edges sword too, on the upside not a lot gets to me and i dont require anymore than the bare minimum to survive, that means a weeks worth of clothes, 1 pair of shoes at least 1 maybe 2 meals a day, a place to sleep. the bare minimum. on the down side i lack the motivation to move on things because i have most of what i require which is the bare minimum…
and because i dont require much i also dont want for much. i dont have a need to pursue anything beyond what sustains me. and that my dear friends is my life’s problem… my bane, and also the reason why ive made it this far without going crazy or ending up a dead man. some of you have asked for my new years resolution, well this is it. overcome my sin, SLOTH though i have no idea how to do a permanent solution sadly… thats one half of my problem, and here is the other half, and a friend of mine brought this to my attention and it seemed to match how i was feeling.
Purpose. that is it, i feel like i lack a purpose in anything besides surviving and living anything else feels like “eh”. because im so comfortable with how things are with my life as of right now i havnt had the need or the want to pursue anything else that may be useful to me. Purpose… i donno what it is, what to look for, how to look for it, where to find it, i donnow what it is if i found it, donno what to do with it once i have it, in other words im lost, and i donno which way i wanna go or if i go that way i donnow if i wanna keep going or go somewhere else. i just feel like i lack purpose and i am a sloth. i have a strong will, and that is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.
donno what to do about it, how to go about doing it or if solving it will work for me or not.
just really lost.
mind you this is just how i feel
you probly dont really care that im telling you this, or maybe you do, i have no idea honestly. just lettin you know for future reference to myself, and that maybe i can find a solution to my problem.
an interesting question i was asked on tumblr
Posted 12 years agoso yeah, derpin around on tumblr i get a random question about how people are trying to get My little pony related material removed from there and he asked about my thoughts about it.
just bear in mind that this is just my opinion on it and for the most part im open minded and dont really take sides based on what i personally like, but how theyd work together and who's right and who's wrong by my standards. if im being unreasonable do excuse me.
well, firstly; My little pony is a fandom like any other. it is also a coin, a reasonable side, and an unreasonable side. depending on what you are and arent okay with will elicit your response to it or opinion. now heres the thing about removal of content regarding ponies, people love their comfort and they also love to be safe, they hate to see material that they dont agree with or find morally right and will go to the ends of the earth to make sure its gone from their sight, to me thats a selfish way to act, like a kid that dosnt want to see a scary movie so he wants to unplug the TV while several others are watching and enjoying it.
you cant do that kinda stuff and expect it to just go your way automatically. i support freedom of speech, the good the bad and the ugly, and there are several things i dont particularly like or accept because i have my own morals, BUT at the same time i have no right to deny and try to remove what others do like and enjoy. now mind you im talking about the reasonably excessive and adult material, not the obviously sick demented violent or psychotic material.
now as for the content being removed by tumblr, im not really that against and heres why, they created a website thats pretty damn open minded given the content thats floating around here, some things pretty graphic or what have you. they created this website for us to share ideas and interests and interact with each other and stuff, and while they allow that they also may have some set rules and regulations theyd want their costumers to follow while hanging out in their house. like say for example… theres a college party goin on and just about anything goes, only thing you cant do is vandalize, and some people are like "pff whatever, i can do what i want to" and so they do that, and what do you think happens? they get kicked th hell outta their house. same thing with some of the content being removed i think.
now im not sure what the rules of tumbler is so i cannot say that thats exactly why things are getting taken down, BUT i do think people need to not think about themselves only while in a situation involving other people (and this is just how ive been brought up mind you) i was taught to take responsibility for the part I play in any given situation not just point my finger and go "he said, she said, its all them". like uhhh the thing with doxy if youve herd about it, that artist's account got banned for "bestiality" now im not saying the artist deserved to be banned for it right on the spot but i do think that the artist shouldve taken into account on what MAY or MAY NOT happen if they posted that kinda material on here, and im not saying that all that artist ever drew was beasty stuff.
generally speaking Bestiality is… not something everyone would be into and with this fandom it can be mistaken for that real easily, especially when you got artists drawing human characters having sex with these quadruped ponies and even though theyre sentient beings and more human like despite their form; a lot of people still consider ponies animals. personally im not against it and i dont really mind it that much as long as they can keep a lid over it or control themselves while in public. and thats probly the problem here, folks think that because some go unchecked and dont get flamed for things theyre into (whatever the desired fetish may be) they can just go hog wild with it, almost like walking around a public place with your dick out lettin it flop around, some wouldnt really care, others would laugh, and many others would probly tell him to put it away.
honestly the only problem i personally have with people who display their interests is that sometimes they may go too far with it and not really think about whom they may affect weather its positively or negatively (mostly negative) that would be your ugly side of any flipped coin, every fandom has it and there are people who support that ugly side and thats why you have so many clashes of opinions and extremists who blow shit outta proportion simply because they dont find it attractive or whatever.
sorry i went off in a lil rant up there… back to the mlp related content being removed… no i dont think it should be removed, but i also dont think the people providing said content shouldnt push it so bluntly. like a person throwing fire crackers at a lion in a zoo and standing really close to the bars so theyre within reach when the lion finally gets pissed off. another thing is sense, and im not saying "common sense" because sense is obviously not common anymore… im saying sense as in considering that if someone posts something they know what may happen weather its positive or negative. like with me for example, i draw erotic adult stuff, im also what youd consider "a furry", anthro art and theres no question that i love and enjoy doing it but i also have my own boundaries on what i will and wont post, not just for my own dignity and self respect but im also considering the impact id have on my fans or people on the internet, im also keeping a relatively low profile to avoid accumulating haters if i can help it and for various other personal reasons.
like i said earlier i believe in free speech and expression, its the internet after all. but i also believe in respect and consideration. people simply cannot handle the full on characteristics of the human mind that why /b/ on 4chan gets so much shit along with various other places and fandoms.
basically what im sayin if im sayin anything is there can be freedom and there needs to be… but i also strongly advise there be a BALANCE for your sake and others. you can enjoy what you enjoy and even share it, but yknow… balance the shit, you wanna whip your dick out and show it off? dont get mad when people say they dont wanna see it, take responsibility for the part you play for a choice you make and consider all possibilities. this is what i keep my more adult material between me and my group of friends.
Balance. Respect. Consideration. Sense.
just bear in mind that this is just my opinion on it and for the most part im open minded and dont really take sides based on what i personally like, but how theyd work together and who's right and who's wrong by my standards. if im being unreasonable do excuse me.
well, firstly; My little pony is a fandom like any other. it is also a coin, a reasonable side, and an unreasonable side. depending on what you are and arent okay with will elicit your response to it or opinion. now heres the thing about removal of content regarding ponies, people love their comfort and they also love to be safe, they hate to see material that they dont agree with or find morally right and will go to the ends of the earth to make sure its gone from their sight, to me thats a selfish way to act, like a kid that dosnt want to see a scary movie so he wants to unplug the TV while several others are watching and enjoying it.
you cant do that kinda stuff and expect it to just go your way automatically. i support freedom of speech, the good the bad and the ugly, and there are several things i dont particularly like or accept because i have my own morals, BUT at the same time i have no right to deny and try to remove what others do like and enjoy. now mind you im talking about the reasonably excessive and adult material, not the obviously sick demented violent or psychotic material.
now as for the content being removed by tumblr, im not really that against and heres why, they created a website thats pretty damn open minded given the content thats floating around here, some things pretty graphic or what have you. they created this website for us to share ideas and interests and interact with each other and stuff, and while they allow that they also may have some set rules and regulations theyd want their costumers to follow while hanging out in their house. like say for example… theres a college party goin on and just about anything goes, only thing you cant do is vandalize, and some people are like "pff whatever, i can do what i want to" and so they do that, and what do you think happens? they get kicked th hell outta their house. same thing with some of the content being removed i think.
now im not sure what the rules of tumbler is so i cannot say that thats exactly why things are getting taken down, BUT i do think people need to not think about themselves only while in a situation involving other people (and this is just how ive been brought up mind you) i was taught to take responsibility for the part I play in any given situation not just point my finger and go "he said, she said, its all them". like uhhh the thing with doxy if youve herd about it, that artist's account got banned for "bestiality" now im not saying the artist deserved to be banned for it right on the spot but i do think that the artist shouldve taken into account on what MAY or MAY NOT happen if they posted that kinda material on here, and im not saying that all that artist ever drew was beasty stuff.
generally speaking Bestiality is… not something everyone would be into and with this fandom it can be mistaken for that real easily, especially when you got artists drawing human characters having sex with these quadruped ponies and even though theyre sentient beings and more human like despite their form; a lot of people still consider ponies animals. personally im not against it and i dont really mind it that much as long as they can keep a lid over it or control themselves while in public. and thats probly the problem here, folks think that because some go unchecked and dont get flamed for things theyre into (whatever the desired fetish may be) they can just go hog wild with it, almost like walking around a public place with your dick out lettin it flop around, some wouldnt really care, others would laugh, and many others would probly tell him to put it away.
honestly the only problem i personally have with people who display their interests is that sometimes they may go too far with it and not really think about whom they may affect weather its positively or negatively (mostly negative) that would be your ugly side of any flipped coin, every fandom has it and there are people who support that ugly side and thats why you have so many clashes of opinions and extremists who blow shit outta proportion simply because they dont find it attractive or whatever.
sorry i went off in a lil rant up there… back to the mlp related content being removed… no i dont think it should be removed, but i also dont think the people providing said content shouldnt push it so bluntly. like a person throwing fire crackers at a lion in a zoo and standing really close to the bars so theyre within reach when the lion finally gets pissed off. another thing is sense, and im not saying "common sense" because sense is obviously not common anymore… im saying sense as in considering that if someone posts something they know what may happen weather its positive or negative. like with me for example, i draw erotic adult stuff, im also what youd consider "a furry", anthro art and theres no question that i love and enjoy doing it but i also have my own boundaries on what i will and wont post, not just for my own dignity and self respect but im also considering the impact id have on my fans or people on the internet, im also keeping a relatively low profile to avoid accumulating haters if i can help it and for various other personal reasons.
like i said earlier i believe in free speech and expression, its the internet after all. but i also believe in respect and consideration. people simply cannot handle the full on characteristics of the human mind that why /b/ on 4chan gets so much shit along with various other places and fandoms.
basically what im sayin if im sayin anything is there can be freedom and there needs to be… but i also strongly advise there be a BALANCE for your sake and others. you can enjoy what you enjoy and even share it, but yknow… balance the shit, you wanna whip your dick out and show it off? dont get mad when people say they dont wanna see it, take responsibility for the part you play for a choice you make and consider all possibilities. this is what i keep my more adult material between me and my group of friends.
Balance. Respect. Consideration. Sense.
sooo heres a rant
Posted 12 years agoOkay you know the drill, If these things i am about to mention do not pertain to your interests then you need to let me know, and if you must... dont try to convince me to see why its appealing because HELL NO. okay? we coo? good.
The other day i was in a conversation with some friends and accountancies and one of them posted a picture of that pinkamena gal, the art itself was very good looking with a lot of detail and you could tell the artist put a lot of thought into it, however... the content of the drawing was... horrible and it made me cringe to how bad it was, basically it was a picture of the lower half of her hung up from the ceiling by a hind leg and her insides and blood were falling out while the other half was on the floor kind of out of view... Gore pretty much. and in case you didnt know im really not into that sort of stuff, neither am i into this new trend referred to as "grimdark".
so im seeing this and the guy is goin on about how beautiful and good looking it is er whatever and i decided to be honest and say "okay i think im gonna draw a line here and set a new standard, no matter how "well" its executed and or drawn out or detailed, if it cosses the my line of moral values then i cannot and will not enjoy it" thats pretty much all i said, then the guy starts to question what i said talking about "but it looks so well drawn how can you not enjoy it?" I simply tell him that it wasnt in my line of interest. then i guess he got mad and saw me as being a prude stick in the mud and pressed the issue, "well what else is isnt in your line of interest if you cant appreciate good art?" he asks. "what dose it matter to you" i reply casually. "i want to know because i want to know." he retorts. and so i go ahead and give him the list of things im not interested in and or do not enjoy seeing or hearing about.
Loli, pedophelia, rape, gore, grimdark, scat, inflation, hyper (oversized body parts), yaoi (of any kind), herms (shemale), fem boys, racism, torture, hard bondage, and so on. and his next comment kinda pissed me off because he made it sound like im just this closed off guy who dosnt do or like anything, he says "oh so you dont like all the good stuff?" really? so because i simply like tits, ass, vag, and yuri im suddenly just this one dimensional bigit? thats nonsense!
but to the point of this rant... i see that the things i listed off is rather popular here and people seem to be totally into that stuff and i say "fuckin have at it dude, knock yourself out as long as i dont have to be involved" and thats basically what i said to the guy, but no that wasnt enough he then says "you need to step past your line and try new things and not be so boring. how will you know that you dont like it if you dont try it?"
i can clearly SEE why i wouldnt like it thats kinda why i choose not to be interested in it! i would be pissed... but all i could do was shake my head, why is it that i must be obligated to be into all the same things the rest of you are into, i just so happen to be old enough to choose what i want and i have zero interest in the things i mentioned, some for obvious reasons others for personal reasons. i just found it interesting that i am expected to run with the crowd and just accept things that would make me turn the other way or cringe in disgust, its like telling me to try meth because it gives you an incredible high and makes you feel good. NO, i wont i dont want it i dont need it and why would i be interested? it dose nothing good for me. i donno... i guess im just annoyed that these things are the norm and im expected to at least try it. No, i know what i like and that is what i do and that should be enough.
and this is not the first time ive had to deal with this same thing, ive had several people in the past try to convince me to get interested in things that i simply cant for both obvious and personal reasons. and dont misunderstand, if youre into these things im cool with that, for the most part i am an open minded person for the most part though i wont hesitate to let you know if i dont like something (reasonably)
but anyway back to the point of all this banter, my boundaries are set for a reason stop trying to convince me to cross them so you feel less bad about your strange interests. (you know who you are)
okay, rant over. thanks for reading :I
The other day i was in a conversation with some friends and accountancies and one of them posted a picture of that pinkamena gal, the art itself was very good looking with a lot of detail and you could tell the artist put a lot of thought into it, however... the content of the drawing was... horrible and it made me cringe to how bad it was, basically it was a picture of the lower half of her hung up from the ceiling by a hind leg and her insides and blood were falling out while the other half was on the floor kind of out of view... Gore pretty much. and in case you didnt know im really not into that sort of stuff, neither am i into this new trend referred to as "grimdark".
so im seeing this and the guy is goin on about how beautiful and good looking it is er whatever and i decided to be honest and say "okay i think im gonna draw a line here and set a new standard, no matter how "well" its executed and or drawn out or detailed, if it cosses the my line of moral values then i cannot and will not enjoy it" thats pretty much all i said, then the guy starts to question what i said talking about "but it looks so well drawn how can you not enjoy it?" I simply tell him that it wasnt in my line of interest. then i guess he got mad and saw me as being a prude stick in the mud and pressed the issue, "well what else is isnt in your line of interest if you cant appreciate good art?" he asks. "what dose it matter to you" i reply casually. "i want to know because i want to know." he retorts. and so i go ahead and give him the list of things im not interested in and or do not enjoy seeing or hearing about.
Loli, pedophelia, rape, gore, grimdark, scat, inflation, hyper (oversized body parts), yaoi (of any kind), herms (shemale), fem boys, racism, torture, hard bondage, and so on. and his next comment kinda pissed me off because he made it sound like im just this closed off guy who dosnt do or like anything, he says "oh so you dont like all the good stuff?" really? so because i simply like tits, ass, vag, and yuri im suddenly just this one dimensional bigit? thats nonsense!
but to the point of this rant... i see that the things i listed off is rather popular here and people seem to be totally into that stuff and i say "fuckin have at it dude, knock yourself out as long as i dont have to be involved" and thats basically what i said to the guy, but no that wasnt enough he then says "you need to step past your line and try new things and not be so boring. how will you know that you dont like it if you dont try it?"
i can clearly SEE why i wouldnt like it thats kinda why i choose not to be interested in it! i would be pissed... but all i could do was shake my head, why is it that i must be obligated to be into all the same things the rest of you are into, i just so happen to be old enough to choose what i want and i have zero interest in the things i mentioned, some for obvious reasons others for personal reasons. i just found it interesting that i am expected to run with the crowd and just accept things that would make me turn the other way or cringe in disgust, its like telling me to try meth because it gives you an incredible high and makes you feel good. NO, i wont i dont want it i dont need it and why would i be interested? it dose nothing good for me. i donno... i guess im just annoyed that these things are the norm and im expected to at least try it. No, i know what i like and that is what i do and that should be enough.
and this is not the first time ive had to deal with this same thing, ive had several people in the past try to convince me to get interested in things that i simply cant for both obvious and personal reasons. and dont misunderstand, if youre into these things im cool with that, for the most part i am an open minded person for the most part though i wont hesitate to let you know if i dont like something (reasonably)
but anyway back to the point of all this banter, my boundaries are set for a reason stop trying to convince me to cross them so you feel less bad about your strange interests. (you know who you are)
okay, rant over. thanks for reading :I
Something i took notice to
Posted 13 years agoTo whom ever may want to read.
So im derpin around on Tumblr and one of th artists i follow gets this question,
"Why cant artists be appreciated for their goddamn art these days?!"
and his answer spoke to me, and he did bring a a very good point.
he basically said,
We artists set aside time out of our lives to create art work, not just for our personal enjoyment but for others too.
we pretty much provide a service free of charge to the people of the world (mostly by internet) by creating art and just puttin it out there for everyone to see.
weather we charge money for commissions, charge a commercial monthly fee to see our art work, sell cds, sell prints, or just plain draw for free, we are making art and giving it out to everyone.
with our unique talents we provide the world with a literally endless stream of material for it to enjoy weather its through visual arts, music, writing etc. and true we do try and make a living out of it for the most part we give much more than we get
for the most part we aim to please everyone, but find that we please less than we prefer.
in our creative flow all we really want is to have our imagination be enjoyed by the general public, and those who dont like or enjoy it simply find one of the hundreds of millions of other artists in the world who they can enjoy the work of.
the world aint perfect for artists by any means though.
somehow the material that we create is taken harshly by some and there are those who believe that they MUST voice strong (mostly negative) opinions against our art work like our images, music, writing has threatened them.(i myself am guilty of passing some judgments)
we're faced with hostility be it verbal or physical threatening. our families are ridiculed, our lives are threatened, our very heart and soul is picked at and spat upon, what for?? because our stuff hurts them in some way.
we, the artists find ourselves hated by so many, and for what? because what we draw is unappealing to them to such an extreme that theyre morally offended by it.
maybe its our subject matter, maybe its our art style, maybe its our opinions, maybe its our personality. regardless the appreciation of artists of any kind is incredibly keen. (and im talking about the meaningful art work, not the things that in my opinion deserve to be cringed at, scat, extreme gore, pedophile, rape, etc)
although at least we dont get publicly executed for trying a new art style anymore.
his answer was deep for sure!
this dose make me wonder though, there are some truly impressive artists out there... but so unappreciated, so much that people will start turf wars, troll, ridicule, threaten, spread bad rumors, ban together and shun, voice unbelievably negative opinions, intentionally spit on our work, steal and try to pass it off at their own, deface, tell them how bad they are, the list goes on.
i see that kinda stuff and im like "wow really? are people so low that theyd just go outta their way to shit on the work we put out for your enjoyment?"
places where we artists can share our art like here on DA i see so much of that negativity and i dont understand. for the most part im pretty open minded, and though there are some things i dont personally like, i dont really penalize em for it, ill just let em be about their business, if they like it then coo. as long as i aint involved im fine.
oh and heres my favorite part about media, people idolize and make gaudy the not so good artists out there and make them something theyre not. mostly composers and writers... *cough cough* Twilight *cough* weird right?
also... one more important thing thing, yknow what i really dont get though ...?
like... even though we artists give our creativity to the world and arent really appreciated for being the bulk of its entertainment...on the flip side of us not being appreciated some of us intentionally tarnish the privilege of being an artist...when artists of any kind INTENTIONALLY do generally nasty, unpleasant, shameless, insensitive, pompous, arrogant, sometimes horrible shit just to make his or her audience cringe and wretch in disgust... for FUN. that i dont get the point of.
some of us are TRYING our damnedest to make a good and decent impression to the world, trying to be the exception to the "stereotypes" and lets just be real here, aint not a single one of us wanna be labeled especially not under a general negative. but then theres always at least a handfull artists that would go to such lengths to make the rest of us look bad and inhumane.
and you know how humanity works right?
they see the ass end first before seeing the lighter side of things and then pass judgments on ALL of us as a whole when in reality the smallest percent of artists are the ones tarnishing our reputation and causing the stereotype
and i don wanna hear folks be like " DO I FALL UNDER THAT STEREOTYPE??" or "IM NOT A PART OF THE STEREOTYPE BLAAHH!" if you aint then you dont even need to say it. anyway...
i dont get that...like... at all. is it because they want us to accept that theyre into it?
is it because they think "welp too late to turnback now, fuck it"? do they just do it because they think its funny or fun or cool to give all of us a bad name?
is it that they accept the stereotypes and feel more comfortable continuing to make themselves look bad?
its obvious they care not for these things... but why must they drag the rest of us down with them i ask?
and make US work twice as hard to redeem ourselves and try to make the world see that we are not like this.
like i said before there are some really REALLY good artists and composers out there, but they work harder at clearing our name and giving better impressions than the artwork itself. which is why the majority of us are more depressed and sad and lonely and just so down on ourselves i bet
which is why it PAINS me to hear them same goddamn lines... over and over and over and over again
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
im sorry but i cant really accept that phrase for everyone for obvious reasons. first i just see that as an excuse and a justification to try and get away with unnecessary shit.
like... ((for example)) a guy over 18 likes little girls and boys and is into pedophilea and dose art of it in the most explicit manner possible, and something like that would be generally bad to do right? but he's like "to each their own".
as if saying "well i know its wrong to do that but i dont care! just accept that i like having sexual relations with children dont judge me and you better just deal with what i share with you, ill do what ever i want to and you cant stop me".
and i do ((to an extent)) understan that our primal instinct to mate holds an important role in us as living organisms and sentient beings, and i do get that most of us artists are less likely to get some than anyone else would, i get that most artists only real appealing talent is through their creativity and most of us are lonely IN FACT, we artists (mostly ones who draw and write) are at the bottom of the food chain sexually, except for (most) singers and actors... most of em get all the fun because what they perform is most appealing... but thats neither here nor there.
and like i said im open minded for the most part and i try not to openly judge for the sake of creativity and not being a hypocrite. but fuck man... there are some things that i cant accept and folks make it real hard not to open my mouth.
this is probably the main reason why we artists get such harsh treatment, on one side we're trying our best to provide entertainment for you but on the other some of our content is just plain wrong and need not to be shared. human beings are probly the most judgmental of the bunch. it isnt fair but i see why though... its so funny though when i really think about it...
because in a way, the world depends on US to entertain YOU.
you need us and we need you.
just a little food for thought for those who'd take the time to read this
So im derpin around on Tumblr and one of th artists i follow gets this question,
"Why cant artists be appreciated for their goddamn art these days?!"
and his answer spoke to me, and he did bring a a very good point.
he basically said,
We artists set aside time out of our lives to create art work, not just for our personal enjoyment but for others too.
we pretty much provide a service free of charge to the people of the world (mostly by internet) by creating art and just puttin it out there for everyone to see.
weather we charge money for commissions, charge a commercial monthly fee to see our art work, sell cds, sell prints, or just plain draw for free, we are making art and giving it out to everyone.
with our unique talents we provide the world with a literally endless stream of material for it to enjoy weather its through visual arts, music, writing etc. and true we do try and make a living out of it for the most part we give much more than we get
for the most part we aim to please everyone, but find that we please less than we prefer.
in our creative flow all we really want is to have our imagination be enjoyed by the general public, and those who dont like or enjoy it simply find one of the hundreds of millions of other artists in the world who they can enjoy the work of.
the world aint perfect for artists by any means though.
somehow the material that we create is taken harshly by some and there are those who believe that they MUST voice strong (mostly negative) opinions against our art work like our images, music, writing has threatened them.(i myself am guilty of passing some judgments)
we're faced with hostility be it verbal or physical threatening. our families are ridiculed, our lives are threatened, our very heart and soul is picked at and spat upon, what for?? because our stuff hurts them in some way.
we, the artists find ourselves hated by so many, and for what? because what we draw is unappealing to them to such an extreme that theyre morally offended by it.
maybe its our subject matter, maybe its our art style, maybe its our opinions, maybe its our personality. regardless the appreciation of artists of any kind is incredibly keen. (and im talking about the meaningful art work, not the things that in my opinion deserve to be cringed at, scat, extreme gore, pedophile, rape, etc)
although at least we dont get publicly executed for trying a new art style anymore.
his answer was deep for sure!
this dose make me wonder though, there are some truly impressive artists out there... but so unappreciated, so much that people will start turf wars, troll, ridicule, threaten, spread bad rumors, ban together and shun, voice unbelievably negative opinions, intentionally spit on our work, steal and try to pass it off at their own, deface, tell them how bad they are, the list goes on.
i see that kinda stuff and im like "wow really? are people so low that theyd just go outta their way to shit on the work we put out for your enjoyment?"
places where we artists can share our art like here on DA i see so much of that negativity and i dont understand. for the most part im pretty open minded, and though there are some things i dont personally like, i dont really penalize em for it, ill just let em be about their business, if they like it then coo. as long as i aint involved im fine.
oh and heres my favorite part about media, people idolize and make gaudy the not so good artists out there and make them something theyre not. mostly composers and writers... *cough cough* Twilight *cough* weird right?
also... one more important thing thing, yknow what i really dont get though ...?
like... even though we artists give our creativity to the world and arent really appreciated for being the bulk of its entertainment...on the flip side of us not being appreciated some of us intentionally tarnish the privilege of being an artist...when artists of any kind INTENTIONALLY do generally nasty, unpleasant, shameless, insensitive, pompous, arrogant, sometimes horrible shit just to make his or her audience cringe and wretch in disgust... for FUN. that i dont get the point of.
some of us are TRYING our damnedest to make a good and decent impression to the world, trying to be the exception to the "stereotypes" and lets just be real here, aint not a single one of us wanna be labeled especially not under a general negative. but then theres always at least a handfull artists that would go to such lengths to make the rest of us look bad and inhumane.
and you know how humanity works right?
they see the ass end first before seeing the lighter side of things and then pass judgments on ALL of us as a whole when in reality the smallest percent of artists are the ones tarnishing our reputation and causing the stereotype
and i don wanna hear folks be like " DO I FALL UNDER THAT STEREOTYPE??" or "IM NOT A PART OF THE STEREOTYPE BLAAHH!" if you aint then you dont even need to say it. anyway...
i dont get that...like... at all. is it because they want us to accept that theyre into it?
is it because they think "welp too late to turnback now, fuck it"? do they just do it because they think its funny or fun or cool to give all of us a bad name?
is it that they accept the stereotypes and feel more comfortable continuing to make themselves look bad?
its obvious they care not for these things... but why must they drag the rest of us down with them i ask?
and make US work twice as hard to redeem ourselves and try to make the world see that we are not like this.
like i said before there are some really REALLY good artists and composers out there, but they work harder at clearing our name and giving better impressions than the artwork itself. which is why the majority of us are more depressed and sad and lonely and just so down on ourselves i bet
which is why it PAINS me to hear them same goddamn lines... over and over and over and over again
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
"to each their own"
"thats life"
im sorry but i cant really accept that phrase for everyone for obvious reasons. first i just see that as an excuse and a justification to try and get away with unnecessary shit.
like... ((for example)) a guy over 18 likes little girls and boys and is into pedophilea and dose art of it in the most explicit manner possible, and something like that would be generally bad to do right? but he's like "to each their own".
as if saying "well i know its wrong to do that but i dont care! just accept that i like having sexual relations with children dont judge me and you better just deal with what i share with you, ill do what ever i want to and you cant stop me".
and i do ((to an extent)) understan that our primal instinct to mate holds an important role in us as living organisms and sentient beings, and i do get that most of us artists are less likely to get some than anyone else would, i get that most artists only real appealing talent is through their creativity and most of us are lonely IN FACT, we artists (mostly ones who draw and write) are at the bottom of the food chain sexually, except for (most) singers and actors... most of em get all the fun because what they perform is most appealing... but thats neither here nor there.
and like i said im open minded for the most part and i try not to openly judge for the sake of creativity and not being a hypocrite. but fuck man... there are some things that i cant accept and folks make it real hard not to open my mouth.
this is probably the main reason why we artists get such harsh treatment, on one side we're trying our best to provide entertainment for you but on the other some of our content is just plain wrong and need not to be shared. human beings are probly the most judgmental of the bunch. it isnt fair but i see why though... its so funny though when i really think about it...
because in a way, the world depends on US to entertain YOU.
you need us and we need you.
just a little food for thought for those who'd take the time to read this
warning! spread this information around to as many people
Posted 14 years agoHere is a list of Internet Service Providers that are BLOCKING americancensorship.org
Time Warner Cable
Cablevision
Shaw
O2
sympatico
bell
Charter Communications
Orange UK
vodafone
Verizon (NOT MOBILE)
Comcast
earthlink
T-Mobile
CenturyLink
Embarq
Sprint
FairPoint
Brighthouse
Virgin Media
cricket
Comodo ISP
optimum
Deutsche Telekom
Versatel
SuddenLink
roadrunner
Cox Cable
They don't even want us to have a choice or spread awareness. I can't even access the site.
This. Is. Ridiculous. And I seriously hope these companies are ready to defend themselves digitally... A step like this is just INVITING anon.
Complain to your ISPs if you can... geez....
Let's put this information out. Spread the word, however you can. Facebook, tumblr, myspace, twitter... get to it.
New guy :D
Posted 15 years agoHello all! im new n stuff lol
