This is more of a way for me to vent but I'm down to take advice or converse if anybody has anything they'd like to toss in. But my current issue at this moment in time... is my future. Now, tons of my friends have opted for the like...common, everyday, ya know plan. Graduate from high school, go to college for a degree in whatever while working some shitty job so that they can get a better job in the future. I'm an artist. I'm friends with a BUNCH of other artists. Its nothing but tough in this industry and people don't have time to cater to those who can't quite keep up? And while I've never though ill of my friends, that kind of life doesn't sound appealing to me. It never has. I don't mind trying to find a way to make money but I haven't lived. I haven't EXPERIENCED ANYTHING. I've traveled, sure. But I was young, and seeing the basic things I suppose. I still think of myself as incredibly blessed for the opportunities I've had to get out and go explore but those weren't for my sake. However, the things I learned traveling and the memories I've made are things I'll never forget. I want more of those memories.

That's what I want to do with my future. I want to see the world. I want to experience the good things life has to offer. I don't want to go to the extravagant restaurants and live a life of luxury. I wanna bust my ass and work hard so we have enough gas money to just get from place to place. I don't wanna sit still. I wanna see it all. I want some small shack in the middle of nowhere to be my home so that after the year and a half of time I've spent wherever, I can go home, read a book, recharge, then get right back out again a week later.... I haven't really told anybody about any of this because I'm fearful nobody will take me seriously or believe that I'm capable of something like this... But this is all I've wanted for the past year and I think this summer is finally my time to go.

I haven't been super like..."pressed" to draw fluffbutts so if you guys want to actually like keep up with my art my dA account is /way/ more active than this one. I post at LEAST one photo a day? So If you guys are like...actually into my art and wanna keep up with it heres the link!! Thanks everyone who has recently watched me...It means the world to me to know that some people are actually interested in the stuff I work on... I'm still new to the digital art stuff but im glad im improving and I hope all of you will stick with me and continue to watch me improve :)

http://n0vanity.deviantart.com/

Finally finished some gumgirl designs! You can view them, along with my commission info, here!

http://n0vanity.deviantart.com/art/.....253A1454786609

Many of my watchers are people who have drawn art for me or at the very least know of my fursona, Kyo. (blue fox with hUGE pierced ears??) ANYWAY, Kyo is no longer Kyo and their name has been changed to VENUS. I didn't want to create an entirely separate oc just so i could name them Venus. How tedious right? But on the subject on space stuff, I'm planning a species that will probably be called Planet Hoppers (until I can think of something better) thats basically going to be cute furry creatures based on ANYTHING space related.

For example (These characters will be put up for adoption and then you can buy your own later but no matter!) I'm making a character named Saturn! And they're going to have the rings around their tail, or hips and may have an extra set of arms and be super majestic and stuff! But each characters design will all be based after the celestial body its named after. (saturn will have rings, Mars will be a rusty red color and prolly be dirty all the time, any star based ones or characters named after constellations will represent their stories, etc etc) So If anybody is interested in that let me know and i'll get that on my priorities list!!

Sorry for the ramble! Thanks everyone!

SO below will be my prices set for all things commission related. These prices go for both HUMAN and ANTHRO characters as well as any animal character or ocs. Fanart will not always be around forever so please request that now between next April or so? Hopefully by then i will be able to strictly do personal characters and original characters rather than cartoon characters! You can email me in regards to purchasing art at thighhighsky[at]gmail.com and i will get back to you or you may contact me here on FA or on my DA account @ http://n0vanity.deviantart.com/ . We can discuss your request and get final prices figured out and I am more than willing to discuss potential trade offers. Please contact me if you have any questions!


LINE ART
Busts- 3$
Fullbody- 10$
Ref. Sheet- 15$
Extra Characters- 3$

FLAT COLOR
Busts- 5$
Full body- 13$
Ref. Sheet- 20$
Extra Characters- 5$

FULL SHADE/COLOR
Busts- 10$
Full body- 15$
Ref. Sheet- 30$
Extra characters- 10$

So.. here I am again. It’s late. No need to continue to read past this point if you're not interested in me bitching about how shitty I feel.

It's 6:12AM, and I can't put my mind at ease.

No surprise there though. That’s no big deal. But. I laid my head down tonight with a clean conscious and for a little bit, I felt OK. But then, loneliness crept in and made itself at home in my head and once again my insecurities and anxiety caught up to me and left me without an ounce of any kind of rest. This has been a normal pattern now. Spend all day working hard and planning things. (occasionally actually crafting something, but usually those night I can rest easy knowing I accomplished /something/) Getting myself hyped up, and then lying in bed from 3-5/6/7/8am pondering and panicking and convincing myself that no matter what I focus on for the day, no matter what progress I make on any craft, no matter the work or money or time or effort or tears spent on a project, it will forever turn out mediocre at best.

So. I’m a plus size poc cosplayer. I’ve been doing this shit since I was nine years old. Started with the typical weeb set. L from Deathnote, Hinata Hyuga (shippuden and orig.). Cosplayed Double D from Ed,Edd,nEddy! a little bit.. Then went on to shit like Miku Hatsune and I’ve cosplayed Nepeta, Meulin, Gamzee, Feferi, Aradia, Jake English, etc. Fucked around with a No More Heroes cosplay back in middle school. Cosplayed some ponies. Completed two Rin Kagamine cosplays, one for myself and one for a friend in like 8th grade. Cosplayed the Doctor on one occasion.... Just... I kinda like to think I’ve been all over the map for a really long time. My makeup skills are pretty good. As for my overall artistic ability, I would give it a solid maybe like...7-8 out of 10.

Now. Earlier in my cosplay days. When I could pull something out of my ass like...every other week/month. I was used to getting /small/ bits of praise. Meaningful encouragement from friends, loved ones, and ON OCCASION, family members would genuinely be impressed by something I /made/. My goal has NEVER been fame or...being placed on some pedestal by the people of the internet or even those I meet at conventions. I just want /someone/. /Anyone/. To recognize that I’ve tried...and slaved over my craft. Literal blood, sweat, and tears poured into projects that took two straight weeks with only maybe a few days worth of sleep. No, they don’t always look SUPER great... but thats ok. Because I made it and I worked my hardest... and yet, in the year 2015 I am still cast aside because I’m not white, thin, and “proper” for the characters I choose to cosplay... Which honestly I know it can be chalked up to "you don't need the opinions of others to feed good!" or "you do you kiddo!" but in reality. I realize my efforts don't feel valid if there's not at least one human being who can look at my work and honestly tell me, "shit dude...you're really amazing" Like... I wonder sometimes if it's just because I don't have any friends anymore...?

It’s just shit. I feel like all this time I’ve been trying to improve and do stuff but in reality I’m just making shit harder on myself I guess... The constant belittling I feel in the cosplay community (be it local experiences or online) is sometimes baffling. I’m not asking for everyone to drop to their knees and WEEP at my costumes... I’m just asking for a “Hey! You did a good job! I’m glad you’re happy.” And maybe someone to actually just sit...and muse with me... Someone who can actually relate...?

I just don’t feel adequate in my craft anymore.... And I feel like it's literally tearing me to pieces....and it hurts. A lot.

So whilst working on a new ref. sheet for my darling Fursona, Kyo aka BLITZ, I realized that they aren't very... "me" anymore? They were when i first made them like... YEARS ago back when i very first dipped my toe into the furry pool? (I was probably 12/13...Maybe?) Just came out of my terrible scene/emo phase, and so to this day Kyo still has her silly coon tails and obnoxious teal coat but...I feel its time for a rework... So... I guess if you guys actually care for my art stay tuned for the next week and expect a new ref. for her!!

So... Commissions aren't 100% open yet however they will be soon!! My prices will start dirt cheap as I understand im not the best digital artist but i will do my best to make my work to my customers standards so... ill be happy to work with any and everybody!! I'll post another journal when im absolutely ready to work!! Thanks everyone!!

Lame title, my bad.

Fursuit is coming along nicely and art is finally being posted. I found this bichin art program and I'm finally hoping that I may..begin actually and truly improving. I know I have a lot to offer...but its hard when so many people wish to pursue this profession too.

This is mostly just rambling so its not majorly important! I don't have many watchers or whatever and I can't think of many who care so this is my place to kinda just...screech into the void hahah.

Fursuit plans are coming along nicely as well!! My partner has dedicated their time to assisting me with finding a good person to commission for Kyo (my fursona). I will probably dedicate my next project to just making a partial and that being my corgi, disco! Lots of stuff coming. Lots of things changing. I'm growing as an artist and it's all so exciting!!

Hello!

Just a random update. Finally have a new laptop so, art will be soon!! Maybe someday I'll actually get commissions going... But on the side note, expect some rad work in progress photos of fursuits AND colored in art work of my fursonas!! SO, if interested stay posted!