I can't believe I have to make a journal about this.

If you are going to ask to add me on Discord or Telegram, as a simple disclaimer, I do not want to be added just for RP. I am not okay with that. I want actual friends and people who are interested in me for more than just that. Thank you.

It's been almost two years since the passing of both my good friend Volsar, and my great uncle. They were both wonderful beings, and did a lot to brighten the world in their own ways. It's been a rough couple of years, and all I can think to myself is "am I making them proud and living my own time out on this planet in a way that they would approve of?". I think I am, but I don't know.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXgLI5XXncc

The Honest Trailers are honestly some of my favorite things on YouTube, and I really enjoy this one. There's a part in it that is just hilarious. It goes like this:

"This guy brought a hockey stick! Who plays cricket in Haddonfield, Illinois? This lady brought a clothes iron! Where are all your guns!? I thought this was America!'

So, now that I've done my humor, on to more serious matters. More importantly, the reason I have been spamming journals and talking everyone's ear off who would let me.

My great uncle is in the hospital with pneumonia and Covid. His lungs are bleeding and hardening, and his oxygen level is in the mid-'80s. At first, he was pretty bad. Then, for two days, he got a little better each day. Now, he is going back down again. He is being sedated and paralyzed to keep him from putting himself at greater risk, because his oxygen levels drop when he is not sedated/paralyzed. His wife, my aunt, was in there either yesterday or today when it started getting worse again, and they had the chaplain come into his room, which of course didn't make her feel any better. Regardless of if you pray, if you want to extend blessings or positivity, or if you are just wanting to help me feel better (not trying to be selfish, but at the same time I just have been on edge and stressed to the max... sorry if I sound like I'm trying to make it all about me) then feel free to send me notes or comment. I will do my best to keep everyone updated about the situation and what happens with it. I hope he pulls out of it, and I'm optimistic that he can, but at the same time, I have to be prepared for the worst-case scenario, because if I lie to myself and say he'll for sure survive, and he passes away, that would hurt way more. Thanks to everyone who has helped me over the last few days, especially  wolf-9 and  Nakito I know I've been talking to you basically nonstop and you haven't really had much luck saying stuff, but you are helping me feel better.

I got a huge blow today when I learned that one of my masters and a close friend, Volsar Rewtree the Abra, lost his battle with cancer. I am torn apart inside and I can't believe I will never get to talk to him again. Rest easy, and may the Goddess light your path, Master.

The picture that I posted in scraps, and the story that is attached to it, both are results of a dream I had about a week or so ago. Nothing that happened in the story happened in the dream, per-se, but influenced me to make the form and write the short story (Yes, it is the short version. I plan on writing a full story for the form. Look forward to it! [or not~] when it is completed!) The dream was as follows - I was riding in Luna's chariot with Luna, Twilight, and Spike. I was myself, in my pony form. We were flying around, and Twilight was concerned about Celestia for some reason. Luna told her not to worry, and to talk to her since she was awake and might be able to help. Twilight didn't respond, so Luna told us a riddle. Just then, the sun's light started to peak over the horizon, so we headed back, and met Celestia in the castle. When we walked into the room she was in, Celestia started to tell Luna what duties she had missed during the night, scolding her almost. Luna bowed gracefully and headed towards the back of the room. I, feeling a little upset, turned to Celestia and said, "You know, you shouldn't treat your own sister like a servant. That's what led to her becoming Nightmare Moon in the first place!" Celestia looked away, seemingly having nothing to say. Twilight, Spike, and I all left the throne room after that, but I turned back to Celestia and said, "If she becomes Nightmare Moon again, I'm halfway tempted to help her!" and started walking again, turning forward immediately. As well left the castle, Trixie walked by, and I asked her if she was there to visit Starlight. Trixie said yes, so both the three of us and her kept going in the direction we were headed already. My curiosity got the better of me, however, and I turned my head as we walked. I saw Trixie head into the room the Celestia was in, while Twilight said that we should come back soon. I turned back to Twilight and said, "We might have to go back sooner rather than later." Right after I said that, Celestia cried out, and Twilight and I took off back towards the room Celestia was in. When we got there, Trixie was surrounded by guards. I looked at Twilight, and she nodded at me. I blinked behind her, and conjured a shadow javelin and hurled it at her with my magic. Twilight blinked to the left and fired a beam of magic. Trixie blinked towards the back of the room, avoiding the projectiles. I blinked further back and ran towards where I last saw Luna head. I found her in the back, and then Twilight joined me. Right after, Trixie walked up and started goading Luna, and her goal was to turn Luna back into Nightmare Moon. I saw it beginning to take hold of her, and I told Twilight to grab my hoof. I took Luna's, in the hopes that the Nightmare would spread to Twilight and myself as well. I felt something flow into my leg and start to change me, but before it went any further, I woke up

I didn't ever see what I would look like as a Nightmare, but I created the form to look like what I imagine I would have looked like after the change occurred. I also added Luna into the story because she played a big part of me being a Nightmare infused pony in my dream. I plan on making a longer story for the picture and stuff, but I am still debating on where to start and end it. I will let you guys know as soon as I decide.