I am bored. Come on people. Ask me anything. ANYTHING. :-D

IN a lot of things. :-P

BUT, one thing that have been annoying me lately. And it's one of those things that at first I was sitting here being a little sexist about young girls popping out of nowhere. Wanting to be friends, saying I am interesting. Start flirting and what not. Only to all the sudden can't get a hold of them. Can't talk to them. And if I do, it's on a super duper delay cause they are busy talking to a lot of OTHERS who not only people they friend on the same level as me. BUT those people have the will, the esteem, and the TIME to constantly fight for their attention, praise, and affection. But apparently I start to get boring or forgotten cause I am hardly on. Things I want to chat about isn't interesting to them like talking about...well...nothing but wanting me to stroke their egos with how I am attracted to them. When in reality, I hadn't found anything to connect with them on a personal level....and I get rebuffed or blocked the more I try. BUT they are happy to tease, flirt, and even go as far as send photos of their body. But I MIGHT get to know where they live, the issue family members, and what ailment they have. But I still don't what their interest are or how life is going or what not. Or maybe I am just a distant type of person.....as in I am never fully there even in person. I don't know.

BUT one thing is for sure, it's a two way street. And expecting me to always be the one trying to keep your interest while not ONCE have you tried to keep mine other than keep talking raunchy about your body when "I" make attempt to say hello is obviously signs of an attention whore that I really don't want to no longer worry about. And it drives me nuts that I STILL worry about these people.

Sorry, my life is too hectic. And obviously I can't compete when there's many who are more than happy to fight for my place. Unlike these certain people, I don't have people fighting for my attention. So a lack of return is discouraging.

I also want to say I am totally fed up with people who group individuals into certain groups. That's just lazy and pathetic. And also hurtful. Just because some guy tried to pin you on a table for sex when you no want it does NOT mean all guys are like that. Therefor all the sudden drop communications with ME or just keep your distance from me just because I may look like, sound like, or just happen to be a man like the attacker. Can't handle it and willing to drop me. Then I better accept it that my friendship was never valued and I was only there for an ego boost....or a person on a list of "guy friends" to tout off to the ladies.

Yeah, I went there. There's my sexist comments of the night. BUT here's the funny thing. GUYS do the same damn thing. In different ways, but in the end, same story. Guy get's jaded by women always cheating on him. Guy get's moody cause she's too busy having a life to realize he's not the only 'thing' in her life. Similar, if not, THE SAME issues. Even guys getting distant all because she refused to get the blatant "NO" from him when she literally fights to seduce him.

The world is fucked up, no? We all want to say one side does this, one side does that. But both sides do.

BUT...what brought this up with me? I am getting sick of being dropped out of women lives cause either I come off as too desperate. OR I don't come off as interested. Hell, I actually had couple who was so fucking blatant and fighting for me to do more than just be friends that they got pissed off. I had one tried to seduce me at a furry con once and I shot her down so bad she went crying to her friends. IS it just me, or is it when a person truly just wants to be friends, no one wants to believe it when it's the opposite sex....for any gender. BUT when some one is LYING about it and is trying so hard to come off as "friend" but really trying to score points to get closer to the 'prize', people would believe that more. Either way, I think I am sticking with being friends with married women when it comes to the opposite sex. I seem to have NO problems with them. That and older women, seem to be calmer and a tad bit wiser. Hadn't had one flake on me yet. Nor have I had one flirt for a rise.

Nothing new. Nothing much more to say that isn't different. BUT hey, wanna chat. Say so folks.

I been in Washington state since last week to restock on meds and just relax. SO far......work is taking their sweet time getting me work out of here. I won't be surprised I am here till Friday.

Ah well.....hope you all enjoy the stuff I am pumping out.

Hmmm, here's another thing I guess I can type up and mention that may sound positive. I have in the past typed up places I hate being in the US. But I'll type a few quick places I like being in and look forward to going to regardless of their negatives.

I love New York....STATE. Not New York City. Every time I get near it or just passing through I just get overly stressed. I am sure visiting NYC is lovely. But driving a Semi through there is insane any time of the day. And places I have to go to there is so dangerous that there are some streets at night you are just better off NOT stopping at red lights. BUT I meant to say something positive. The state itself outside of the major metro area is very lovely and with a lot of friendly faces. Dealing with NYC/Jersey City metro area (Let alone New Jersey in general...a state I do not like) makes me forget how lovely the rest of the state is. I mean, hell, I supposedly live in Western New York. The rest of the state I really adore. Very nice, very green. Almost like Western Washington state...minus the barely above freezing temps of winter and cool summers

Speaking of Washington State, I like that state. And I am not saying that because I lived there for most of my later half of my life. Though I do not like Seattle (see a theme of me not liking major metropolitan cities?), I do love the state. But what makes it interesting to me the most is you can't just look at Seattle's weather and landscape and expect the same for Spokane. It's got different environments for East and West. Granted, not as many different types of climates as California, which is impressive for a state alone. BUT, it's also got it's nice folk also to deal with.

Montana, I have no idea how to explain this other than it's America's Canada. Most are so damn friendly that not only the whole traffic would stop to let you cross a street when there is NO crosswalk. But you may be invited to join complete strangers for dinner in a restaurant. LIKE Canada....outside of the major metro areas. :-P

Delaware is an odd state. I say odd, cause it's got the nicest people I ever met with a Midwestern type feel to the air and landscape for a TINY state that sits between Baltimore - Maryland, Philadelphia - Pennsylvania, and....New Jersey. Matter of fact, I consider Delaware the exact opposite of New Jersey, best way to explain it. But anyway, passing through Delawares on I-95 would just look like any other metro area. But when you head south on US-13/RT-1. There's the mind blow. Shit, if I ever could live there, I would.

Connecticut, I am amazed every time I show up there and people are generally happy to see you. Even remember you. If not your name, at least by face. I guess it's nice to be welcomed.

Louisiana, people may complain that it's Americas wet lands cause it's were all the shit runs off to. But I honestly have no idea WHY it's considered a horrible place EXCEPT New Orleans. People are super friendly. Even in major cities in that state. And it's nice a green. Though I guess it sucks if people don't like swamps...or the fact that since it is the poorest state in the nation, there's way more run down homes and buildings than not. But I find the state charming.

Have anyone ever had this? I was so dead tired this morning when I first started driving. Went down OH-11 south on my way to my pick up in Hermitage, PA. I have no idea how it happened, but I started to have illusions of dancing rainbows in a bright sunny day. Aeris (VG Cats) ranting away at a voice out of nowhere, kinda like Dr. Tran. And I thought I was driving my old Minivan from high school. Let's forget it's freezing cold, 4 am in the morning...DARK. And I got no music playing, no sound system on. And a 73 feet long semi truck handles nothing like a Chrysler Mini-van.

At least the trees were not singing "It's a Small World After All."

Once I had come back to reality, I splashed cold water on my face. I only was in the first 15 minutes of my day. Then again, I only had one hour of sleep. FUN. Going to sloop now.

Yep, let's see how the 2013 go.

WELL, about it. Hehehe, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.









.....I swear if i hear "Baby it's cold outside" one more time, I'll go insane. WHY is it considered to be a good song? It's a fucking Christmas time date rape song. Shit, may as well listen to Brass Monkey.....wait, that is ALSO considered to be a classic hip hop.....grr. Seriously, I know too many people who find the subject or joking of "rape" to be highly offensive. Which I agree to an extent. I won't go irate hearing it. But you won't get a chuckle out of me either. BUT these same people would be humming to songs like "Baby it's cold outside" and even "Brass Monkey". Yeah, contradiction much? Rape is not a laughing matter.......but let's sing gleefully about it.

I wanna try this again. So ask me anything. :-P

....for a little bit.

I guess after a month with fighting with Payroll, I finally got some sort of payment plan put in place. Either way, I actually took home some money for once....since....February. Go me........gah, I still say I am a loser. BUT hey, some money now is better than NEVER.

SO let's see how long this will last?

...when it comes to saying something like, "I love you" or "I wanna fuck". Granted, these two are VERY different from each other. But it's easier for me to not say EITHER of those things. It's like I feel like a sap if I say I love you. YET I feel like a prick if I demand sex. Heh.....this is all a total random thought.....or truths about myself. What ever the hell I am trying to get at.

Well, last week was hell. And it may still be. but I am getting a break. I am up in Allentown, PA to reset my work week. Not the place I want to be.....but at least here I am not getting that weird look about my breed.

OH, when I was in Kentucky. I made an old man look at me harshly at a Denny's the entire time we sat there......it wasn't till I was half way done with my meal that I realized I was wearing the EXACT same clothing he was wearing. Brand and all. And we look NOTHING alike. Now there's something you don't experience everyday.


ALSO, if we ever met at a convention....just a random question. What would you do, say, would like to do as a hang out activity?

The music artist Psy and the song Gangnam Style are Korean. Please stop referring to him and the song as Japanese. Just because it's "Asian" don't mean it's okay to just categorize anything Asian as Japanese and think that is okay. It's like calling a French Man a Brit. Or Scottish a Brit. Would get angry responses. Either way, it's just not polite and annoying. So saying it's Asian....okay, I guess I'll live with that. But saying the song is Japanese and not Korean? Now that's a bit insulting.

Also, am I just a bit naive? Or do I give people in the Southern states that border Mexico too much expectation to be able to tell the difference between a Mexican and a Half Asian man like myself? Cause the Mexicans sure can tell a mile away that I won't be able to understand them. I would think the locals around here would be able to tell the difference. Ah well. Here's the kicker.....if I SHAVE my face, I look Asian. If I let my facial hair grow, for some dumb ass reason I am now Mexican. Once again, Mexicans can tell I am NOT Mexican. But how the hell do I look "Mexican" all the sudden?

Visited Indianapolis for Thanksgiving. It went well. Though it sure is not easy trying to allocate time for people in a short week period. I was at my sis for the first 4 days. Then last 3 at my Dad's up in Anderson, IN. But it went well at least. Even though I still had to deal with work. Guh, it was super annoying with how I had to renew my DOT Physical card. But I am legal for another year. Though I still have no damn clue on how to send copies of my papers to NY State YET. New federal rules started this year. So who knows?


Oh, been watching History Channel again. Last time I was here saw a special about Aliens killing off races of Dinosaurs in order for Human kind to evolve.....or was that De-evolve? I mean, shit, If I was an alien race, why the fuck would I live here in such primitive ways? Unless of course Earth was a forgotten Alcatraz.

BUT point I am getting at is, the History Channel are starting to toss shows on there that is just pure speculation, conspiracy theories, and just insane theories that I just can't stand watching it at times.

My newest complaint is Pearl Harbor. WHY, oh WHY do these people keep asking this question over, and over and over again? "HOW could we not know the Japanese was coming?" HOW the FUCK would ANYONE know during that time? No satellites. And there are MANY islands out in the Pacific owned by many other countries INCLUDING Japan being in the mix of those who owned islands far from their homeland. And I mentioned this cause we at the time made it clear we are NEUTRAL in WW2. So we left Japan alone to roam the waters.

During that time, Hawaii was ONLY A TERRITORY. Like Guam and the PHILIPPINES. For those who don't know history when it comes to the Philippines, yes, we owned it after the Spanish-American War. Saipan, which nowadays is a USA Commonwealth, was owned by Japan for MANY generations. Saipan is only a half an hour flight nowadays to Guam. SUPER close. Point I am getting at is, we couldn't just look out and say, "WHOA, Japan is getting super close, better shoot them now." Seriously, see them moved all the time that I am sure it was NOT thought of being attacked. Not to mention the attack on us happened near the last quarter of the war. So by then we just didn't even dream Japan was going to attack. It was more like, "Bah, we leave the alone, they leave us alone" attitude.

Either way, when Japan attacked, they grab the Philippines first, then Guam, then Hawaii. Hours apart....but NOT the same militia. But Militia waiting for the orders. WHY they left Hawaii alone after hurting our egos? I truly don't know other than Hawaii was and still is a favorite American tourist trap. So I am sure there were many stars and politicians there. So in sense, they probably realized they made a huge mistake. Philippines, Guam, and Hawaii were territories then. All of them had US civilians and Military power on them. But just like 9/11 where all we talk about nowadays is the Twin Towers and NOT the Pentagon or the crash site of a plane meaning to hit the White House. We only give a damn about Hawaii cause it was filled with the elite, rich, and a good chunk of upper middle class citizens. Just like the Twin Towers.

So I have to ask. "WHY do we only give a damn about Hawaii?" We lost many people....way more people that include US born civilians in both Guam and Philippines. Even were put to work as slaves with the rest of the locals when Japan occupied Guam, Philippines and a few other areas in Asia during WW2. NOTHING like what Hawaii had gone through...just been poked at and injured and left alone. Seriously, why do I give a fuck about Hawaii? And this is coming from a guy who is FROM Hawaii. Though I grew up on Guam, Saipan, and went to school in the Philippines. So I guess I can be considered biased....depends what angle you look at it.

Any question anyone who reads the stories/comics I got up?

Oh, and I'll be spending US Thanksgiving with my Dad and Sister in Indianapolis. Surrounded by Hoosiers...yep...ugh.

Till I started to get more and more assholes getting more and more hardcore on politics.

I don't mean to get riled up sometimes with politics. But dealing with a lot of idiots who got nothing better to do than to rant and rave about something that is (1) truly out of their control. And (2), most of the stuff they are ranting and raving are just purely opinions they have to heart that blossomed into "truth" into their heads. Even though it's not true or false, just a fucking opinion. Either way, it's getting to the point now I rather not even get pulled into a conversation.

Cause it usually goes like this, "Hey Driver, how's *blank* treating you?"
"Oh, not too bad. Wish I could get a break with these guys...."
"Yeah, thanks to Obamanomics (this is the NICER version I heard so far), you are being taxed way more than when we were under Bush."

Okay, I get it, I am an owner operator, therefor I run a small, tiny business. Even though I still in a sense am dependent under my current company for x number of month till I pay this truck off and am allowed to leave with it. Okay, I get it that we all want to say the Democrats Tax businesses to death and while the Republicans don't tax business to death......just the people....in a round about way.

But for fuck sakes, I don't give a shit what your opinions are with the world when it comes to politics. Frankly, it seems politics are the scape goats of OUR fuck ups. Yeah, I said, it. OUR fuck ups. The USA have many parties to choose from. Maybe choices to make. Yet we let these two parties....both the Democrats and Republicans to run this nation as they see fit. WHY we keep getting stupid, vain, slick talking idiots? Cause we let them get away with it by only choosing one or the other. The other parties don't even get a chance to go on TV for the debates....cause they don't have the ridiculous funding needed to pay their way in the media.

I can go on and on how we keep listening to all the bullshit to the point we don't know what's real and what's shit anymore.

But one thing is for sure to me. It don't matter WHAT news channel you watch. It's just like any other business. It's got somebody pumping money into that have his/her own interest in mind and WILL see to it that his/her opinions are going to be the main focus.

Either way, there's a lot of drivers that sure live up to the stereotype of Red Necks of the super highways. And most of them throw a fit about anything but Fox News isn't real news cause all the others are just the Liberal media machine. NOT realizing they are pandering towards a blatant Conservative Media machine that is paid for by the Republican party (don't believe it? Why does it have a whole shit load of Republican politicians with their own fucking talk shows? I don't see a Democrat with his own show on Fox News....or on ANY channel.) Either way, it's another Media machine feeding you a different flavor of shit to believe in and to walk in a straight line they set out for you to walk so they can get what they want.

Either way, I am so fucking fed up talking to strangers at Truck Stops.

BUT then again, I am also tired of talking to relatives when I visit then in Indiana. My brother in law's family is nice and all with being grounded on looking at both sides. Which is what I like to do. BUT talking to them is like talking about The Packers Vs. The Saints. The conversation is like a fucking sports game. I hear lines tossed out like, "And then Romney had to say blah blah. That is going to hurt him. But then he all the sudden bounces back with blah blah and he's in the game again." Seriously? I like quoting people. But I don't quote it like as if I am talking about a player screwing up a kick off, but able to some how do a touch down.

I am ranting, sorry. But I really want to get this out of my system.

I hadn't said it, but I am so fucking glad Obama won. Granted, I would have liked someone else, like maybe Libertarian or Green Party. BUT seeing Obama won shows me that we as a nation haven't lost our minds that much. Seriously, Mitt Romney is a huge joke. They had many other highly respectable politicians who could have ran for president and I really wanted to vote for them. BUT Mitt is just an idiot. And to have people say, "SO what he's rich? He's not rich, look at his wife? She's super rich compared to him." UH, WTF does that mean you stupid, stupid, STUPID idiot? HE IS MARRIED TO HER. Therefor their WEALTH is SPREAD out between them BOTH. But that's not the reason to pass him by.

My reason to pass him by is he can flip flop blatantly in your face and not once acknowledge anything he did wrong. He blatantly on TV said a few times he feels there is NOTHING wrong with the lower and middle class families. His main focus is to fix BUSINESS. Therefor, the RICH. And to top the cherry on his shit Sunday, years ago he put his dog on top of his family station wagon. In a nearly airtight kennel. His dog was treated as nothing more than a possession that can be stored in a nearly air tight box on top of his car with his other air tight luggage. This man have NO EMPATHY. None what so ever. Would he put his child up there? Or even put his child in a nearly air tight box? Of course not....so I would THINK. He definitely wouldn't do that to himself. But to have been caught by Canadian Customs (he was going to Canada at the time with his family for vacation) about this atrocity, and was able to walk away freely.......he have the balls to say that his dog LIKED it. Despite for those who witness this at the border said the dog was frantic.....sorry, but I can't help but feel that dog would be the USA as he drives down the interstate in glee with all our money to the bank.

There's way more dirt on this guy. But then again, who don't have dirt on anyone? Obama isn't innocent either.....but do I trust him way more than Romney? Hell yes....hell, I bet he'll be interesting to talk to on the street if I ever bump into him. He sure seems approachable. Better than these assholes with golden rods up their asses.

I lost track what I wanted to say. But what I want to say is I am just so sick of the extremes people go into for their own views and NOT realize how hypocritical they are acting. What ever happened to a middle ground?

The Republicans were not always conservatives through the generations. Nor have Democrats been purely Liberal through the generations either. Abraham Lincoln was Republican. Theodore Roosevelt was Republican. Franklin Roosevelt was a Democrat. BOTH did a lot of Social stuff that people would yell "Commie" for. But here's the kicker, both Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln was long BEFORE Franklin Roosevelt.

I am just giving out examples on how things change through the years. And it's annoying to see people look at today's political parties and try to use their current stance to view at past decisions. Sorry, but that don't work cause things were not as it were then as it is now. OH, and George Washington was LIBERTARIAN.

Either way, I could be a huge asshole and say that not only Democrats was largely against freeing the slaves during Abraham Lincoln's time. But I'll go as far and say that a lot of defected Republican and a few Democrats made up the early Klu Klux Klan. Mostly south, true. But it was and still is all across the nation though.

Ah well.

I just think we need to use our brains. Shift through the shit any form of Media gives us and try to figure things out. Cause the more extreme we get, the more shit is going to fall anyways. Finding a balance is what made us go far. We made it longer than the Roman Empire. Let's not fuck this up now.

.....let alone the brain dead public.

Shit, I been up for more than 24 hours. But I do know what I am reading and what I wanna say on the matter of Texas Petition to split from the Union.

Bon-Voyage.

No, really? Are you fucking kidding me? I have no idea which is more pathetic, these idiots who think that just because they reached.......oh, I don't know....32,000 or more signatures that it's gonna happen? It just means it will be looked at. But with an estimate population of 25,674,681 in Texas from a Census in 2011......the number on signatures on the petition as I am reading now is somewhere....72,000?

Get back to me when you reached over HALF of your population. We'll talk then.

Thank God that state Governor is smarter than he looks.

Seriously, what's the biggest joke is the News is making this sound like a big new worthy story. Sorry, this news is like constipation all the sudden shooting out of ones ass in a bloody exodus with the screams of the victim. It's dirty and quick. But after the commotion, the patient sees a doc and if all else is okay....is healed and forgets about this in a few months.

Like I said, let's talk about this when at least half of your total population is totally serious about this. THEN this is news worthy and deserves some fucking debate and/or ass kicking.

I swear, it's like the Civil War again. But instead of Human Rights....just fucking bigotry on race and political party in power. Way to go Fuckmerica.

Nothing new. Still working.

Going to Indianapolis for Thanksgiving....as long nothing messes up my plans.

I also want to say.....if you have a significant other. Don't take him/her for granted. Imagine NEVER finding love.....ever. Or worst yet, never finding one AFTER the first failed attempt. Cause once you get stuck in your ways and your life is your total focus. There's just no easy way to turn back unless you want to wreck it all again in hopes for a new start.....or a horrible end.

WELL, happy happy, joy joy.

Here's something silly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDKcevMFUCo

I hope you all enjoy. :-P

I am just in Washington state this week for some time off. So I'll enjoy it. :-P  mikefurry came down to visit, so it's not boring. Just hope I don't bore him.

not much is new.

I am still alive.

I am not sure what more to say at the moment other than I noticed that freight have been slowing down. It's kinda scaring me a little bit. Especially in the the Northeast, where it's supposedly a lot of freight. Heh, ah well......I been stuck in a few places when freight was slow....or I needed to reset my work week. But holy shit, nothing is as boring and lacking facilities and parking for trucks than Virginia....and it's not in the old England area. All I can say is....WTF? Not only that, but I never seen an area that is so happy to make stopping at a Rest Area as part of their trip. Normally I stop at Rest Areas, they are not JAMMED packed with people. And there's NOTHING at these Rest Areas. Just like any typical Rest Areas on the country. I could understand if these were service stations where there is some sort of souvenir shop and fast food like off the Turnpikes/Toll Roads. But there's NOTHING but restrooms and vending machines. And NOTHING to do like any other Rest Areas other than sit at a picnic table placed between the car and semi truck parking areas.

Ah well, I guess I'll figure things out. It would make more sense if I explain a bit more on what's happening. But seriously, it's just too much to mention.

Cause I guess no one wants to know anything about me. :-/

Ah well, nothing new on my end. Just up and about. I am actually very close to getting out of my debt with this company. I'll be shocked at this point considering I am starting on figuring out where I would like to go and where I can go before I start the exit process.

Other than that, I am just tired as hell.

Seriously, WTF? Is this even being taken seriously? Heh, maybe, maybe not.

SO, I guess go ahead and ask away.


As for what been up with me lately? Work, work, work, truck breaks down again. So this time I get to visit Jackson, Tennessee......holy fuck I thought Dallas was horrendous. Even Atlanta does not compare. Sorry Jackson, but you may show you have the will to work, but you sure have a fucking attitude.

Muhahahaha, I had to ask. But seriously though. This is just a toss out in the dark.

Just a simple question. IF your serious, MAYBE go far. Maybe not. But just out of curiosity. IF there is anyone willing to respond. Would you?

Once again, it's just a curious question. Any gender, since this is just a random question. I guess I would like to know if I have a chance in this world? Either that, or I turned everyone off with my rants. :-P

How come that is considered to be a nice, romantic song......and even a duet...? O.o

Ah well.......forget that...

Hmnmm, random thoughts in my head......

Well, a thought that's always BURNING in my head....and leaves me shaking my head.

WHY can't people just be honest with themselves and others when they say they are lonely? Are they truly alone? I mean, they are hanging out with me and a couple of others in the room. Got people worried about them. Talking, hanging out. Going to diners to chill and have a meal and a drink of their choice. Or just chatting.

I guess I am purely a cynical bastard....pessimistic....both. But when I ask about WHAT they mean "lonely", I get, "I just want to be in a relationship where I can be close to a person." Okay......so maybe loveless? Wished you were in a love filled, full contact relationship? Nothing wrong with that. I guess I am being a bit too technical.

But then I get, "And I miss sex. Damn, I just want to get it on." Okay......so your just feeling fuck less? So why can't you just say, "Damn, I just want to get fucked." Well, okay, in some cultures, a guy needs to say, "I wanna fuck." But we all get the idea, getting laid.

But I find most usually mean the later (oddly enough) and few mean the other.

Either way, most I meet are truly not lonely. Just wanting to be in a relationship.

And sadly, those who are NOT in a relationship seem to wanna advertise they are getting drunk off their asses cause they are feeling "So alone and wishing some one would love me" bullshit.

Okay, so I am also bitter. But seriously, may I just suggest one thing?

Grow up.

Seriously, no one likes a whiner.....I can tell you that from experience.

But the huge issue here is all it attracts (especially for the ladies I notice) is a bunch of idiots willing to fill in that spot just to take advantage of you. Cause your desperate, and if you got something they want (body, money, what ever you may have), they will pounce in like a hawk with the sympathies play.

More in response to people I see on here who seem to get a thrill out of mentioning they are drunk and loss all control and need "it" now.

Either way, these people get in the sack, think they are in love. Then wonder why their new lover is caught fucking with another lover of theirs.....the next day.

Really, I am boggled with people at times.

Doing this a bit longer.....

But I am shooting to get off of this thing very, VERY soon. Just got to figure out WHERE to go from here.

Till then.....guess I'll toil for free some more.

Either this visit or the next. But I am totally done with this bullshit.

I been talking to some old buddies back in the Philippines lately. Been good to know they are okay. I even WAS entertained with the idea of MAYBE going back there. I don't know. But then I watched this.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_Ht_19N8Uw

NOTHING'S changed since I last lived there. NOTHING. Just nothing.....it's heart breaking for me to see this. This may be new to most of you viewing this. Hell, probably yell out this is not true, unreal. But it is real. But it's not new for me. For those of you who know me and start to watch this would start to understand where I get my values from. Where I get my crazy sense of loyalty and persistence with putting up with shit. And the reasons I sometimes would all the sudden flip and go overboard on fighting back.

Watching this have brought me new appreciation towards what I have. I am not as bad off when it comes to what's available to me and chances I could take to go far. BUT what I am doing that is similar to the poor guy who owns the Jeepney. Owing money toward a vehicle that most if not all money goes straight towards its upkeep. And it's all he's got.

Josh is right, everything is twisted there. But then again, how about here in North America? In the US?

I won't get into that, but to have ME in my own damn country have me LIVE just like him. Where his own damn job takes nearly everything from him despite how hard he works? FUCK that, I am done. I am fucking done.

I am done. The issue now is where to go from here? Where to go from here? I still don't know. And to be frank, if you notice in the video, and sadly, my mind could be just like that, then what? What could you do? What could I do? When you give up your dreams or your dreams are stolen, you really don't have a clue on what you could do for the future. Other than just sit there and continue to toil. Or break free and risk of more toil. Either way, all your plans seem to go up in smoke faster than gun powder.

Either way, this video is new for most. But it's a reminder toward me that I could have been in that mess if I stayed and failed in Manila or anywhere in the Philippines. My own Mother lived similar conditions back in Bangkok, Thailand. Either way, faced with this, I have to remind myself that I am in a better place. And living in such a better place, I STILL have a chance and I am STILL not totally locked in. Yeah, my credit is fucked, I got no home, and currently just a drifter. BUT I still got a chance here. I still got a chance.

I still got a chance.

Though I can't stop wanting to break down when I see the mindsets lately the USA wanting to get rid of all our safety nets. All in the name of the almighty dollar. All in the name of some religion. Look at the Philippines people. LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE A PURE CAPITALIST NATION. With their politicians in Manila stamping the nation as a 100% Catholic. UNDER GOD. Though let's forget the southern islands of the Philippines being Islam. They have both God and Capitalism, 100% pure. Look at them. Do we want to be like that? Do we?

I am in Indianapolis, there's a terminal near 10 minutes away. And I am fed up with this job....

Maybe, maybe not.

But one thing is for sure, I WILL put myself into a diabetic shock before I'll be pressured or forced to go back into trucking if that will guarantee for me to NEVER be allowed to drive again.