Well, I am no artist, so obviously not much art of my own will pop up. Writing is low due to...well...my job being my life. Eat, sleep, drive, eat, sleep, drive. So my time away from work (drive) I spend just trying to catch up on sleep.

But the main point of this entry is I been trying to upload things for nearly a month now and I am not able to for some reason. I keep getting "File name is too long" error every time I try to upload a file. No matter how I rename it to something shorter...even to just one letter, I still can't upload it. I got about 16 things I want to upload as of now. No go for some reason. Maybe my stuff is just so shit that even FA's system is rejecting it. Heh, ah well.

As for my cryptic last entry, still working things out with work. But I think I might be able to avoid a huge issue. So far I am getting is Payroll department had a lot of major head changes this summer. A lot of rules and dealings had changed. I am one of the tiny amount of drivers still working under the OLD contracts. Therefore I fell through the cracks and the new person in charge didn't keep up with my loans. Therefore despite making sure I was up to date on payments....they did NOT check up with late fees and was trying to pass it onto me as my responsibility. Which it IS. BUT they are supposed to take that amount out of my settlements each week along with payments to keep me up to par with my truck payment. SO the issue right now is I have a lot of late fees with the bank, sent it to my last address in Buffalo NY instead of my current address back at my Mother's in WA. So I didn't get the notice till much later. And I am in limbo with work till Monday to find out if they'll be willing to go ahead and pay for the late fees and give me an "I owe you." Either way, it's a fucked up situation that should have never happened. I am in a victim of corporate restructuring since I am under an older contract that apparently totally differs than their current contracts given to Owner Operators. At least when it comes to how they take care of the loans for me and what not. Apparently they don't deal with banks any more and the now new drivers deal with Werner directly. Unlike me I signed up with a bank through Werner. This is all I can gather for now. It's a stupid mess. But I hope I can clear this up soon before the banks decide to Repo the damn thing. And IF it's going to happen, I rather have it done now while I am at a relatives than to have it happen nowhere near friends or family to roof me for a time being.

Hope everyone have something to be thankful for and are with family and friends this Christmas. Don't matter if you celebrate Jesus's birthday or not. Or if you are into Yule or not. Hanukkah, what ever. Take this moment to relax among people you love.


As for me, I won't get into much on my end except the shit hit the fan for me yesterday and it may get worst by end of the week. More I try to figure this out and try to find a safe way to fix this...I maybe switching my visit here in Indianapolis for Christmas to a long term visit. Guess I may end up being a resident here again. I don't know, we'll see.

Yep, sitting at a truck stop in West Haven, Utah. I didn't make it to the truck stop I wanted to get to that was going to have a HUGE Thanksgiving din din special. BUT...well....this one have a Denny's that gives a discount to drivers. SO I can't complain too much. Got my Turkey din din somehow. Heh.

Heh, yesterday was hell. It was one of those days that something was going to go wrong regardless. I checked my tires on my truck like an OCD checks their shoe laces. I was very damn sure there was no issues with my tires. Yet between Yakima, WA to Umatilla, OR I ran over a nail somewhere. Either way, I pulled into the scale house in Umatilla and instantly got parked and inspected. Guy saw the flat. Tire didn't blow up, so I had no sound indication. Nor visual. Tire just went flat and since it's a dual tire, the other tire kept it up and allowed me to keep going. There's a reason I love dual tires over the alternative super single everyone in the trucking industry is trying to push for a change to. If one tire blows, I still I can limp my way safely to a shop or shoulder. Sadly, I had to find this out at the scale house.....so the cop was nice at least. BUT still, it's a written violation and an out of service for me. First ding to my CSA score in years...and I just had my CSA cleared this summer after years of no issues. Damn. Ah well.....fun camping at a scale house waiting for a repair truck to show up. Thankfully my tire was still in good shape. Just had to take it off, remove nail, repair, put back on. So not bad on the pocket book. Just....well...CSA score. Ah well.

Oh, what's what Salt Lake City Metro area. There's MORE CARS out right now than on a normal work week. This is Thanksgiving, not before/after Thanksgiving travel day. Most places I drove through was mostly dead. Nope, once I got in this area.......it's like I got in morning rush hour.

Finished the last legal BS I need worry about for the time being and had a decent visit here back in Western Washington. Though now it's time to get back to work.....the day before Thanksgiving. Ugh. Ah well, at least I'll be picking up a load for a good run.....back to Texas. I am about to rip my dispatcher a new ass. I only been on his board for a month and so far it's been nothing but mainly Texas. If I wanted Texas that bad, I would just move there and get a local job there and get paid way better than the shit I am getting from these guys. Ah well.......Laredo at least is not bad. Just a time vamp.

Time wasted there for a lot of office BS and truck issues. But mainly there for the Sleep Study....or Sleep Apnea screening. Funny, one family member went on and on that I have it cause of all the snoring and long hours of sleep. Either way, it's good they are doing this cause now you'll get help and blah blah blah. Bullshit the feds decided to enforce the screenings due to Tracy Fucking Morgan.

WELL, after a night of having a sleeping with wires and tubes hooked up to me and a night vision video camera watching me. I am deemed to NOT have Sleep Apnea. This great information costed me 3 days of work. And IF the company was not paying for this sleep study, it would have cost me 2 grand out of pocket. Plus a grand on hold for a CPAP machine that would become mine IF they had to use it on me during the study. Pretty much, IF they had to put that on me during the study, automatic "You got Sleep Apnea". Though just because they don't use it at all during the study, don't mean you do not have sleep apnea. Just means you did not stop breathing and had your oxygen levels go below safe levels during the study. Doc says I slept very well. Just snored a lot......

Anyway, about it. Now been in Texas for nearly 3 weeks and finally getting a load to get me to a different area. Ah well.

Nothing new about me being a bit quiet nowadays. Seems I meet more people nowadays who are more in tuned to look for an argument instead of having a debate or conversation. Makes me really more happy to just stay away. Ah well.

Heh, my Mother freaks out and keeps telling me to stay out of Dallas due to this Ebola shit. But I keep telling her it's not as crazy as the news may make it sound. It's found some cases.....NOT blocking off the city and it's surrounding area for Quarantine. So I am not too worried about. Though I guess I could say she's jinxed it....cause here I am now in Dallas. Fun. Ah well, I have to come here anyway. Feds put in new rules to start screening for sleep apnea in Commercial drivers. And my company got everything set up and supposedly paid for....I just need to show up in Dallas. Fun.

Ah well, the chaos of watching me sleep for a day or two starts tomorrow. Fun. Just what I want to come to Dallas for....ugh.

I am visiting my sis in Indianapolis. Got my new glasses and restock on meds. About it. I was going to go to Indy Fur Con. But the shop found a few things wrong with the truck that needs immediate attention. Heh, ah well, there goes it's good running streak. Either way, I am back to holding onto what little I have like once more. Not like I had stopped doing that since I was starting to see a positive.

Nothing much to say. Which means it's all okay now.

Well, I guess I might not go to Indy Fur Con. But it's still up in the air. My sis made plans for a Luau at her place on Saturday. Even though I did tell her prior to this that I was planning to make Saturday the day I'll show up for the con. Ah well, frankly, I rather have the Luau....been years. I love BBQ anything.

But why the hell not?

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6044020/

Enjoy, conclude what you all want. But this is what I was rambling about in my last journal. I felt so insulted for the last few days. Only to now feel so enraged. I never met such a horrendous sociopath....ever. Is what this thing did is true or not? I don't want to care anymore. Just leave me alone. I didn't come on here to be a social experiment. And to think I gave a damn enough to even be curious on what this thing had to say and even debate with it. Lesson learned. If I can't figure it out, don't talk to it. Cause it made itself as it is cause it wants to fight and argue....cause it feeds off of emotions. I don't like having my emotions and heart toyed with. Pray we never meet.

But I am quite fed up dealing with certain types of people. In the past I been lucky enough to not get involved with certain individuals I been watching or been curious enough to keep tabs on. Only one vixen came close. But she quiet down and on doing her own thing nowadays. But I get a headache when person is not only on a personal crusade to win an argument. But they refuse to listen how horrible they sound or why it's upsetting. And even use some of the things I said to even fuel their own fires to push their crazy ideas forward. Let them. This is a huge country, and the world is even bigger. I don't need them, so why let them get to me? This one hadn't personally gone on my page...hell, I been commenting on that person's page. So I guess I am a horrid one. But I am done with this person. This person get to be that special person I avoid.

I am so fed up trying to blend in. Cause no matter where I go, some place is going to have something that contradicts the last location on what they expect is appropriate. And since I travel this country a lot, things change very quickly by a mile, oddly enough. It's never enough. NEVER! And worst yet, I am originally from a state where America STILL treats it like it's an exotic place who's voice don't mean anything. Hawaii is part of America folks. And there are a few things done there that gets weird looks over here. So fuck it, I'll wear the things I once wore on Guam, which is similar to Hawaii. And I'll enjoy my Hawaiian shirts and wearing my shorts. Cause I am not a fucking tourist, I am a fucking American who is working in his country. And I will wear what I like when I am off the clock.

Who is going?

I had made no plans to show up to a con in a long time. BUT since I am going to be in the area during that weekend, and I'll have a car to use. WELL, I may as well show up for at least one day to look around to see how it is. So I am curious who's going and what should I expect that isn't mentioned on the website. What I mean is, anything unique than other cons that maybe worth looking into? Anything I should be cautious about that is unique to this than other cons? Heh, and it's not too far from Fry's, so I'll pick something up before or after looking around. Hehe.

...getting glasses made, gonna try transition lenses. Since my insurance is paying full cost and I been considering something to wear during the day while driving. Why now?

Oh, and go see Guardians of the Galaxy. It's a good movie, regardless if you like Rocket Raccoon or not. :-P

And I honestly don't give a fuck.

Sorry to be harsh, but when I nmade my last post, I was trying to point out how we seem to be so stuck on Russia still being the USSR despite shit loads of changes since 1991. But instead, I get really fucked up coments about hoow much Russia is hated and/or not trusted. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH US AMERICANS STILL THINKING THEY ARE USSR with that damn red flag and damn patrioic red? All you guys proved to me is we are still trained to distrust and hate Ruasia regardless whaat they do. Putin or not, oh boy, gotta not trust dem reds. Seriously, when I respondedm, I was only trying to play devils advocate. But it seems Russia is so untrustworthy in our minds that trying to maybe think otherwise is a horrible thing.

I am done with this. If you want to keep your excuses to be an ignorant jack ass all because of one guy who is causing his nation grief after 20 years of no longer waving that red flag. Then fine, your problem. But as for my thoughts on Putin. He IS trouble who should be watched. I am not worried about the people of Russia being trouble. It's Putin. OK? Now back to what I was saying, their flag is horizontal stripes. White, Blue, Red. NOT Red with that hammer and sickle. And regardless what you all may think, they are a democracy. Not perfect, and questonable. I don't care what anyone think it maybe. Cause I could say what I think of Anmerica. And I am sure I would be called horrible for it.

Done, finish. Any continuation about the evl Russians will be ignored.

The Russian flag since 1991 is a simple, horizontal stripe flag of White, Blue, and Red.

GET IT RIGHT. If a Russian character came from Russia prior to the USSR collapse at the start of the 1990s, then yes, their patriotic colour would be red. But anyone after 1991, it would be White, red, blue. OR oh, ho, ho, red, white, and blue. :-P They are a democracy, also get that right. Fuck, this is what happens when the USA removed geography from their education system...which was also in the early 1990s. Not to mention I still meet kids fresh out of high school who still is being taught that only gay men get AIDs. That was so 1970s.


In case anyone want to look it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Russian_flags

Don't like Wikipedia, go search elsewhere. This is the internet after all.

Well, hour 5 since the neighbors decided to start blowing shit up. I am starting to remember why I avoid coming home for 4th of July and instead be in Indianapolis for the 4th. Shit, it's like people here in Arlington, WA are starving for explosions.

Ah well, b-day America, let's see how much further we can go.

Yep, I am late. But better late than never, eh?

I am home in WA for the week now. It's nice to be home and off the truck.

Well, it's just after it where I am sitting at. I seen places still open and move about. But I am surprised to see how dead the area not too far from Boston, MA gets. I was I-495 outside of Boston around 5 am and normally on a Monday it's very busy. This morning...dead. Maybe an impatient idiot every now and then would zoom by...like everyone in this area. But such a tiny number than the normal horde for this area and time was kinda spooky. Ah well, so I spent Memorial day sitting at this truck stop in Greenland, NH. I forgot how small these states are, so easy to zoom past them compared to the west.

Ah well, nothing more on my end. I got a silly question. What is everybody's limit for dating age wise? I guess I am beginning to admit to myself that I am no longer in my 20's and starting to get uncomfortable when I noticed a lot of ladies advertising they are looking, yet I back off since I see their age between 18 to 25. I guess for me it's kinda weird looking at anyone with a 10 years difference or more. I know more who find a 5 year difference or more is weird. I am just curious. Maybe trying to decide what limits and boundaries I should put up/follow for myself.

It's my birthday. I am now...er....35. Whee, 5 more years and I'll be 40. Ugh, I remember 10 years ago I thought this moment will never come as soon as it have. Time sure flies fast. I remember at 26 years I was at the Speedway high school in Indianapolis with a team of other techs replacing computers. I kept being mistaken as part of the student body. Heh.....now I stand out so well that most teens avoid me. Ah well. I guess it don't help that my hair thinned a lot through the years. Going bald folks.

Ah well, sitting in Missoula, MT. FINALLY got work. I was off work longer than planned. Almost 3 weeks. That hurts. Ah well.

Ah well. :-D Forward for another year on earth.

Not much new. Just had more time visiting my sis in Indianapolis and here in Arlington, WA. Been more than a week sitting here after seeing my doc and refilling meds. Seems the injections is helping with weight loss. IF I continue to lose about 8 to 10 pounds each month, that would be nice. Ah well,  mikefurry came to visit for a couple days. Hehehe, it was nice to see him. About all that happened. Now...just waiting to get back to work...if I can get over my anxiety to get back into the tractor. I swear I just want to quit.

I am always lost. :-P

Seriously though, saw my doc and it seems I am getting worst with my diabetes. SO I got a new prescription where I need to take a med that cost 700 bucks for a month supply. Either that or insulin. Which of course means the downgrade or total lost of my job considering Federal DOT really don't want any commercial driver to drive far from their home...if at all if they are on insulin. So I am pretty stressed out. Now my medicine plan with my health insurance is grudgingly covering it. Took a WEEK of calls back and forth between the doc and them to get them to cover. BUT after approving it, they threaten me that any future changes to the prescriptions and they will reject it. You know, this is retarded. I am paying for the best option long before the National Healthcare act came into effect. Which in my opinion is not healthcare, but enforcement of buying into health insurance. My coverages do fit under the guidelines. So I am fine with the IRS....unless they change their rules again. BUT to have this shit STILL happen sickens me. One, enforced to buy into this shit. Two, I am paying for the best available, which by the way is NOT cheap. I am paying for the high set of money set to side, highest percentage they'll cover and what not. YET I am being threatened of having certain meds cut offed due to price? Hell, they even threatened that there may have to make changes to the plan. NOTHING better have come out of the healthcare act that I have seen so far other than removing the "preexisting conditions" bullshit that you must pay out of pocket for 6 to 12 months when you switch health insurance.

Anyway, the coverage have dropped the meds price from 700 to 40 bucks. So as long they cover it, sweet. This does NOT include the other shit I am taking. Of course, if I can no longer afford this expensive shit, I'll have to go on insulin. SO yeah, I went from improving....to getting worst. Granted, there's two other options to take if I can't do this one. Like the 400 buck one. OH, I forgot to mention these are injections. I guess I am training myself for the unavoidable mess I put myself into. But of course, there the 3rd option of increasing my meds and adding in an expensive pill that my Mother took for an option. But both our docs says that pill is only going to give a short term fix. But then again, what makes these two expensive injections NOT a temporary fix. I swear, I don't know what's worst. Now having to inject something into my body. Or the fact I been playing Bioshock 1 this visit....and I hate needles of any type.

Point of all this is my bad health is catching up with me. I always been 280 pounds since high school. That number may not sound so bad, but then again, if you ask  mikefurry I am really fat for my body frame. Oh, and Mike, please don't tell me you told me so. I get already. Thanks for caring. I can blame work for not giving me the time needed to do exercises, which is true. BUT I can also say that it's not their fault cause I could have STAY AWAY from them, let alone trucking in general. This is my 4th time in the industry, 3rd with my company. And this is the longest run I have done. 4 years now. Second longest run was 1 year. Each time my health didn't fare well. Granted, I was diagnosed diabetic couple weeks before I left security. But like I said, my bad health is catching up with me. I had family say to me in the past they are surprised I don't have all sorts of health issues in the past. WELL, I got some of them for 4 years now. It's getting to where I should be for my weight.

The other point is, my time in trucking is nill now. When I leave Werner, I wont' have health insurance to pay the ridiculous cost of these needed medications while I look for work. By the time I am set up with some sort of Health insurance either with one on Federal which is pretty much insurance for Welfare folks who make under 11000 a year, or get a new job, I probably would have to take insulin to survive before I could afford those things again. And by then, it's too late, once you take insulin, that's it, it's on your medical record, and Federal DOT will not "remove it" from theirs to let me do any type of driving I want. Either way, in a morbid sense of humor, good riddance. I say that cause it seems the moment I got my CDL, it's all anyone allowed me to be. There's no money in trucking, I just do it cause it's better being at home broke. I got to visit relatives, and I was fed with a roof over my head. Either way, I am done with this. No one ever told me to stick with fast food, hotel guest services. Hell, no one ever said I had it made in security or IT (if I ever was able to get into it after college). But WOW, the second I had a CDL, didn't drive yet, and already everyone like "you got it made." No I hadn't, I had lots of moments when my paychecks of the past with McD's look way better than what I took home..which was "I owe the company" statements.

There's a lot going on on my end. I can go on forever here. But the main thing I am trying to get at with all this is I just feel trapped with a damn I do, damn I don't scenario now. There's a lot of pull and tug from many directions that is going to harm me including my own government with it's damn healthcare laws that what ever I pick, it's going to be hell. Even just marching forward and do what I been doing is going to be hell.....cause it may end quick. Either way, my time as a driver is done. I am only delaying it by staying with these guys. I don't want to jump to another company anymore. I did my jumping, I got similar shit. I don't need it anymore. I want to live, but so far it's no longer truly in my control. I just got to weigh out the options that I'll be happy with. I miss the days where I can easily tell an employer to fuck off, jump ship, and find a replacement job in a day. Those were the days.

About all I have to say. I am just in Omaha, NE, wondering when I'll just quit trying and end this chapter of my life.

Heh, a lot been going on. But I guess the only major fun since my last entry was being stuck in Portland, OR during that damn snow storm that pretty much rendered that city to a stand still. Then having to find a detour to get out of it when I was leaving the truck stop off of exit 17, I-84 near that damn landslide. Only to now be here in Great Falls, MT with nothing to do but lounge and think. There was much more stuff I done between last entry and now. BUT that's all I can think of recently. Other than the weather across this nation had been FUN. I was able to avoid a lot of bad weather in the east prior to being stuck in Portland. SO I guess if I had any place to get stuck in, at least it was Portland. Heh.

Ah well, about it for now. I am trying to think what the hell I could do while in Great Falls, but I am not seeing much of anything on the net. Not like I can easily just drive a semi truck to a random destination to do things anyways. But I am curious. I kinda wish I was up at a boarder town at least. I would just walk across the border just to say I been to Alberta once. Heh.

Well, I missed saying this. BUT happy new year all.

I had a fun time in Indiana. From there, got on the road and been avoiding snow, snow, snow. Heh, I left Chicago when the snow storm there was just starting up. Got to East St. Louis, MO. From there, left there before it would snow for Delaware. Ooooh, PA was going to snow where I stopped that night. So I ended up taking I-70 in Maryland instead of doing what I normally do...which was stay on I-76 in PA till I reach PA-100 to US-202 to Delaware. Not a bad route actually. BUT I avoided bad weather, got to Smyrna, DE. Once delivered, picked up a load in Chester, PA that is heading here to Scranton, PA. OH....I knew I was going to get into a mess. I got to Chester with no problems. Got the load. Only to all the sudden come down hard as I left Chester. Wow, a 2 hour driver turned into a 3 hour drive of snow and slush. And it would have been longer if I wasn't pushing my luck....I only had 3 hours and 45 minutes of time left to either make it or camp it. I-476 was so bad that by the time I got near Allentown, I was hugging the meridian barrier. NOT a good idea on an up to date freeway routing. BUT this route don't have meridian islands. Only have a barrier to prevent oncoming traffic from crossing. So it was my only way to see the road....cause it was covered.

Got to my destination....barely....sliding at turns. And Stockton is like Seattle and Baguio, fucking hilly and curvy. So it was fun trying to keep traction going up hill. Once I dropped my trailer. Instead of getting an empty trailer, I just bobtailed to this truck stop. Which was insane of me. BUT if I didn't, I think I would have jacked knife. Cause going down hill on PA-315 to this truck stop my truck started to just slide down the hill at 5 miles an hour....about as fast I could go before spinning the wheels. If I had a trailer, I am sure it would have come around. Cause I was sliding slightly to the left. Hehehe, gave the idiots who were pacing me a reason to NOT pace me. I hate pacers who just want to hang out beside me. Ah well. Got here, and pretty much watched the snow most of the night. Even when the sun came up, it kept coming down. Half my windshield was covered along with the left side of my truck. Heh, FUN.

Ah well, about it. I am still here. I am told the city got the roads cleared. Though I am still kinda nervous. Work have not bothered me since last night. SO....I guess I could bother them for work now. But I am going to relax for a little bit longer till I feel ready. Another winter blast is coming this way again for Sunday.....hope to be out of here....and not going INTO it before then. But it's funny that I was racing this storm and even beside it in hopes to stay out of it. Only to shoot into the heart of it after all that effort to avoid it since Chicago. Funny.

Cause most people seem to get drunk on New Years....so be merry folks. :-P

So have a great New Year folks.


Seriously, there are locals in the Denny's here at this truck stop already drunk.

Ah well, sitting in East Saint Louis, IL wishing I wasn't here. Ah well, at least I am not in Chicago like I was hours ago....wow, single digits the night before. Then as I was leaving there around 3pm the snow was really coming down. Here.....clear grass, clear skies. Maybe I'll see fireworks.

Ah well, once I am up in the morning, rushing toward Delaware. I guess after a couple weeks of me driving in bad winter weather in the Northern states, work feels I'll be great in the Northeast. Ah well, I am not great with driving in this weather. But oddly enough, the colder the temps, the easier it is to drive in it. It's farther south where it gets dangerous.......wet moisture and at freezing temps is where ice easily forms. Northern states, as long it stays way below freezing, the snow mostly blows right off.

Have Happy, Yappy Christmas. Well, okay, MINUS the Yappy part. Heh, but yes, have a wonderful Christmas. And have a Jolly New Year. :-P

I have not updated in awhile. All I'll say is I been busy the last month. And back in Indianapolis for Christmas. So yeah. About it.

Oh, and Nikki's story arch is just about done. SO once done....probably Hiatus for sure till a new cue pops up. Ah well. Hope those who are keeping up with it enjoyed it.