Currently in Toledo, Ohio. I am just a day away from where to go...just a few hours close to my personal hell.

I said it before and I'll say it again, nothing against the people of PA. But your roads suck. The attitude towards truckers are just stupid and a blind eye to use us as an excuse to blame for the high accident rates that state have instead of updating their highway and free way systems. I am sorry, your the only state I know that have stop signs at the bottom of ON RAMPS onto your freeway systems in areas like PHILLY....where's its always busy. Not to mention allot of four way highways turned freeways with no shoulders absolutely anywhere.

Putting up signs saying, "Caution, High truck traffic". Is just your highway commission's way of ignoring the actual problem.....BADLY, POORLY designed roads. It's almost as dumb as seeing a sign a couple of years ago in PA that reads, "COAL, the GREEN Energy." Well, it's sure green for the politician's pocket books. Where I come from, we get our power from water damns, and we call that "Green Energy". Since it don't pollute.


OH well, I can bitch and rant about PA all day. NY state at least have at least decent freeway systems compared to PA. Though, I guess I should admit that at least in PA, I got more highways to choose from that is trucker friendly.....IE, I have less chances of hitting a bridge....as long I stay on the truck route....so they say.

But the main reason I am grumbling is I got two deliveries where I'll be on state highways more than freeways....since those are the only ways to get to those towns I need to head too. I BETTER have a load assigned to me out of the Northeast once I am done with this load. Or I'll be one angry person.

Trailer magically fucks up when it feels like it....then heals one problem just to gain another.

Pretty much sums up my weekend.

I start off early in the morning, found out my truck batteries have been drained. But thankfully this company have installed a fail safe where it cuts off one of its four batteries for the starter only. So it still starts, but I only get power for the basic functions. No interrior lights, no power in my sleeper (rear cab where the beds are at). Great, maybe if I drive, it would come back in eventually.

I FINALLY get work for Friday, pick up an empty trailer in Bonney Lake, WA. I checked it out, look at its engine, no reason this refregeration engine would just....conk out with random problems...so I thought. But it works to begin with.

The drive to Bonney Lake was sorta quiet....radio worked later on in the drive. Though the truck gave me its "power low" alarm here and there. Though leaving Bonney Lake to go to Lynden, WA to pick up a load. Radio quit working, and the damn alarm just won't stop going off through the whole trip. But i kept going, made it to Lyden. And eventually got my load....heading to some town near Reading, PA. GAH, fucking PA.

I leave Lyden, the alarm starts to do its random on and off again. I reach north of Stanwood.....and its back up traffic going South bound I-5. WTF? I grew up in Stanwood, its the first time I ever seen such backed up traffic....heading to Everett. And knowing Everett Traffic, it would be backed up heading to Lynwood...only to get into Lynwood traffic heading to Seattle.....

Long story short, after fighting it, I decided i was better off shutting down for the evening at the rest stop in Smokey Point........3 miles from my house. Since I am in the rest stop, I can not leave my truck behind unattended...and there's a fence stopping me anyways. Not to meantion I live on the east side of I-5, so I'll have to cross I-5 traffic just to climb over a fence at the northbound reststop. But once I get over those hurdles, I could just walk home. OH well, Mom and Bob (step dad) decided to bring some hot food and hang out with me at the rest stop. That was cool.

1 AM, Saturday, I drive. By Sunday my truck FINALLY gets all its power back. By that time I was in Bismark, ND.

Today, would have made it to Portage, WI. But then my trailer decided to go ape shit crazy. It found ANY reason to shut down and not run. Thank goodness its below freezing up here most of the time (well, curses since its spring), cause my load would have been a lost if it wasn't for the outside temps being frozen. My load supposed to be at -10. But it was on 20 "F". Wow, what do I know, I happen to be in WI when this happend and getting close to our main Terminal in Mondovi, WI. So I ended up calling them for repair orders and came here. At least this terminal is easy to get to, and their shop people are very dependable. My trailer is now working perfectly again.

Oh well, I'll get my hours back around 10 PM, central time. And once again, rushing my way to PA. Why, why, why PA? Oh well, at least it will be a huge pay check, that's close to 3000 miles.


OH, I say it again, the owner of this company does NOT fuck around. I saw him walking around all day here. Making sure the old trucks get decommissioned, the old trailers get decommissioned and sold to owner operators. AND getting both old and new trucks ready for work. And once again I even saw him in the shop, working with the mechanics. Looks like a very busy day today, and he was all over picking up slack. And he actually greats everyone when he's not busy giving orders. Even said hi to me. Heh, cool.

I feel like I lived under a rock. Or maybe I just feel like I am being sorta insulted....or complimented....depends how you look at it due to racial heritage. But really, what's so fucking great about being....what ever? I mean, being such and such means you are a super fighter. Being such and such means you are a great fuck. No, really, am I am missing something here? Quite frankly, I just feel like that IF those standards are true to those certain races.....and I am not going to name them. I just feel so below the expectations cause....well, I am definitely not a pure bred, that's for sure. But there are some expectations that I rather not be known for....even if I DID upheld them well.

Funny how we live in a society where individualism is the big word out there....yet we so easily group individuals into groups with certain expectations of what they would be good and bad at. Really, that's stupid. Especially when we group ourselves willingly while demanding to be treated as an individual.

Oh well, just a thought that popped into my head. Especially after talking to a friend and something of the sort pop in and out of a conversation. Then I start seeing post about something on those lines that just got me....well, miffed. But I am doing my best not to get miffed on it. It's petty, stupid, and the ones who did it are just being silly....as far as I can tell. But...well, I just had to mention my distaste for it at least.

I wish I had the will power or the needed...uh...what's the word? Something, something.....

Anyways, my minds been a blur as of late. But I find it hard to keep up more than one Journal.

So if anyone REALLY want to know what I been up to. I'll just give a link to the journal I been updating since...well, years.

http://mickstover.livejournal.com/

Enjoy....or not. I mean, it is LJ...so do expect me to get EMO. :-P Though I been trying not to lately. And things been working out decently with my current job, so I barely have much to bitch about. Which is a nice thing.

I been all over the east coast. And in a short time, I was able to get back here to Washington state....barely. I mean, by the time I reached to Marysville, I was 0 for my 70. SO, in other words, if I was stuck in traffic, I would have made a violation and gone over my hours. Hehehehe, but I been home since Wensday evening.

Not much since then, just chilling and hanging out with my relatives. About it.

Oh, and the stupid truck stop I usually park at decided to change their policies and only allow me to park there for 2 days. Even though I do pay them for letting me park there each day. After searching for a place to park it for nearly two days. I finally found a place to park it. Renting a spot at some storage place. 70 bucks a month. Sucks, but at least its my own spot, fenced area, and video survaliance, along with the manager living on site. So my company can't say I don't take care of their shit. I mean, the city ordiance says I can't park it in our driveway. And there's no place to park it.....unless I park it at the abandoned Food Pavilion down the street....and risk having it towed. Which, by the way, "I" must pay for, not the company. Oh well, probally the only issue I have with this company. But other than that, it's taken cared of. Funny to see a tractor parked in a row of Mobile Homes. :-P

About it so far. Once my sis gets back from the Walk in Clinic, we are heading down to Seattle for the Emerald City Comic Con. Hehehe, I may be there for two days. But most likely I'll be there for one day. Hang out with them, spend a night at the hotel. Then run off either Sunday morning, or Sunday evening. Either way, be fun to go to a convention other than a furry convention. That, and if nothing else, I get to see some of the stars to Farscape. Be awsome, I think. :-P

Well, here I am getting my 70 back in Carlisle, PA. It's cold out here, icy. Sometime early morning I'll be heading out to deliver this load in Allentown, PA. Once that's done, my dispatcher says he'll work on getting me back West. I sure hope so, I hate the Northeast.

Anyways, around 6 AM, 3/17/07. On I-81, north bound in Virginia, off of Mile Marker 94.9. I got to witness the worst accident I ever seen. This stretch of freeway is really hill and curvy. So there will be some curves where I can't see ahead. Let alone it was pitch dark and trees are abundant. Everything was split second, I could not describe the scenario to the state trooper. All I could tell him was what I did. I was just driving, a little under the speed limit, since it was pure darkness, below freezing, and allot of hills. Once around the slight curve, I quickly shoot past a spinning, trashed, small black sedan in the left lane, only to notice allot of cars up ahead spinning and shooting all over the place. I pull over to the shoulder while hitting my brakes, though not as hard, making sure I don't lock them up as I pull over to avoid being part of the mayhem. I was still trying to stop when a White Toyota SUV out of nowhere spins and slams into the barrier on the shoulder, then skids down a bit in front of me as I start to really freak out cause I was still trying to stop. He stops skidding, and miraculously, I stopped 2 feet from him. I get out of the passenger side while more cars crash into the black sedan in the left lane, flying all over the place, hitting barriers and flying into the ditches past the barriers. I get out to see if the guy in the White SUV to see he is okay. Only to noticed a few people running towards the side of my truck. I go to the side to find a man laying under the smashed barrier that the SUV in front of me caused. That really got me scared cause I did not see the guy on the shoulder when I was pulling off. I immediately checked under my tractor and trailer to make sure I did not run over anyone. Even though I was sure I didn't. I was then told I did not hit the guy. Though we all where silent since the guy laying there was alive and conscious....but he was mangled back. One of the legs was badly fractured while the other one was lost. I did my best not to let that bother. While this was going, the cops started to show up with ambulances and quickly controlled traffic. From there, once everything was under control. A trooper interviewed us one by one. While that was going on. All of us that where not hurt and was willing to converse got together to piece it together.

Okay, there are two phases to this. I entered in Phase two of it.

Phase one, the man in the black Sedan was just driving down the interstate on his way to work when he heard a pop. He tries to stop but he had no brakes, starting to go out of control. Next thing he knew it, the car was going all over the place, hitting barriers like a pin ball. He bails out of the car, lucky to only have bruises and rolled himself into the meridian. A woman was driving and got hit by this out of control car and she flies into a ditch just past the barriers. A pickup with three men saw this and pulled over to check on the Woman, who was badly injured. There was enough time to chat and check on her, get a few information, and call the cops while one of the men run to the pickup to get medical supplies.

That's Phase 1. Now Phase 2.....and really, its VERY quick between the two.

Out of nowhere, a car speeds into the now stopped black sedan in the left lane and skids out of control, rams into the man running to the pickup, sends the man flying a good number of feet away towards the barrier and hits it hard. That car too went into the ditch. The guy's buds ran up to where he was at. The man was conscious, though the first thing he says was, "I can't feel my legs....shit my leg is gone." Basically, what I learned from the two later that the man lost feeling to below his waist. One leg was fractured badly while the other was missing. Then a couple more cars, a box truck, hits the black sedan in the left lane, making the black sedan spin and toss around some more on the road. Then I come in when the white SUV hits it, I pass the sedan and pull over, doing my dam nest not to lock up the brakes while stopping it ASAP. SUV hits the left barrier, gets then swerves into the right barrier. At this time, the two buddies of the injured man where at his side on the barrier. In a split second they noticed the SUV was heading towards them, they jumped over the barrier and into the ditch behind it while the guy (who was miraculously conscious) used all his strength to quickly drag himself under the barrier. The SUV hits the spot he was under, only to keep skidding down as I try to keep stopping, not knowing the man was down there, but miraculously missed where he was at. Once I stopped and got out of the truck like I mentioned earlier, that's when the authorities showed. Though not earlier enough before the Woman's car in the ditch from Phase 1 got slammed into 3 times by other cars....cause them hitting the Black Sedan in the left lane, spinning out of control and slamming into her in the ditch.

Some people where trying to pin point me as the culprit, but I was able to convince them that I did not cause anything, and I actually....miraculously, was not hit, nor hit anyone. After an hour and a half, I left. The first non-injured to leave the scene, and the only one in the mess with a working vehicle. I think there was 8 cars total..not including me. Maybe even 10.

I am surprised how calm I was...even though I was shaking and a few times I just wanted to just freak out. I mean, I never seen so much blood before. And they found his leg 20 feet away. As for the black sedan, once they got it on a flat bed tow truck, we finally got to see it.....if the guy did not jump out of it, he would have been dead. And if not, he would have lost both legs. That was a tiny sedan, and the guy was 6.10. Let alone I was thanked by the two guys later that I stopped in front of their mangled friend cause if another car would have spun his way then, at least my trailer would take it. I believe it would. Though not as well as most of the people there think. I met allot who actually believed I can cause damage without taking damage. Sorry, I may flat you like a pancake, but I will take damage. And my truck was washed a couple days ago and is straight. So it did not take much for the troopers to toss that theory of me causing the accident out of the window. And me being able to stop the way I did without locking my brakes or skidding out of control on the ice was more than enough to have them just ask me a few question, then let me go. They did take pictures of everyone's vehicles who was there, including mine. I am the only one that left unharmed, unscratched, both truck, trailer, and me.


Once I left, the situation finally hit me hard an hour later. I had to stop at a rest stop to just collect my nerves. Though driving calms me down....strangely enough, so it was not long I was driving again. And I drove my way up here to Carlisle, PA. Like I planned....though later. And I been sitting here since, relaxing like the original plan I had worked out with my dispatcher. But just trying to piece this together....and trying to handle it. It's not easy....I'll say that.

I got a new icon. Hehehehehe, kairyu did a wonderful job.

Don't how to do that lovely image link thingie...so here's the link for anyone who's curious.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kairyu/

Other than that, not much....

Bad net connection, last couple nights only slept 3 hours. I got my dispatcher to let me have a moments peace longer than normal.

Heh, heading south all the sudden. Well, I hope I keep heading west. Though I am getting tired of these 500 to 600 mile job days. Not so bad, but I want the 1200 mile runs I was getting when I was under my "beginners" dispatcher. At least with those all I have to do most of the time is just drive. These 500 mile ones will still get the money I need each week. But I'll be stressing each day on how to plan them and work out delivery, then pick up between times off. Really stressful. And I think I been losing sleep cause of it. I mean, I can do at most (if I push it....and tweak things), 700 miles a day. So practically I am always stressing over a new trip each time. They want me to just grab the info, say yes I can do it, then just go. But I always research EVERYTHING before I just say "yes I can do it", or "No I can't do it". So far, I been able to do all BUT one job. I refused one load coming from here in East St. Louis, IL. Because it was heading straight to Minneapolis, MN. Nothing wrong with there. BUT, there is NO direct interstates towards there from here. There are semi-direct US-Routes. BUT, anything that's not a limited access freeway (like interstates), I will be slowing down to as close as 25 miles an hour through towns, stop lights, stop signs, routes that turn onto another street to continue onward. ANYTHING you can think of to slow me down. I'll be going on average, between 50 to 55. And the mileage from here to there is estimated at least 550. I only get 11 hours to drive within a 14 hour work day, and ANYTHING can go wrong on a US/state highways. Interstates, your always moving, even in major cities, your still moving...sorta. Well, okay, if your in Seattle, LA, Chicago, Philly, NYC, Baltimore...you name it, then your just crawling. But on highways, your fighting for turns, position in line to pass a street light/stop sign. You name it.

OH, and I forgot to mention on here. Since I started, I was on a "beginners" board. I would be on it as long as 6 months if need be. Though I could get off of it early if they see I can do my job. Well, without warning, I was switched over to my current dispatcher while I was visiting my sis in Indianapolis. So I guess this means that all I need to do is get my Hazmat, and I am pretty much in the door. I am still in "probation" for six months....you know, hiring practices thing. But getting things going solid in this amount of time pretty makes me feel a bit more confident that I'll be here past 6 months. We'll see.

OH well, about it all. I am going to sleep...or try to at least.

I am finally going to start working away from the Northeast. I finally broke down and told these people I HATE the Northeast. I did not complain at first cause they been good at getting me out of there as fast as getting me in there. Only problem, once I leave Allentown and head to Atlanta. I some how get a load going BACK to Allentown, then back to Atlanta again. These are different customers and loads by the way.....just same destination. When I told them I wanted out of there, they actually asked me why I never said anything, and the main reason they kept me there was they noticed I performed there VERY well. Well, I just told them, nicely, that the reason......CAUSE I WAS ALWAYS STUCK THERE WHEN I WAS WITH WERNER. That, and if I complained in Werner, they'll send me in the place I told them not too.....hence why I was always there. Heh, so they said they'll work me away from there as best as they can. So far they have been doing so.

Oh well, about it.

All I am going to say is this.....

Dispatchers messed up with my load to Virginia, got a load to Allentown, PA instead.

Not so bad, got there, got out with load to Atlanta, GA.....from Hershy's in Reading, PA. I swear, it's NYC....without the violence. I mean, big semi truck driving through one way streets of the old part of down town. Hogging two lanes just to be able to avoid hitting parked cars and keeping space so I can do turns into other streets....just to go to the oldest Hershy factory in town. Only to haul York Patties. Blah....I won't mention how bad it was LEAVING the place.

Got here in Atlanta, GA, and been sitting here since lunch. About it.




Ah, random thought. Does anyone have their own meaning on what's to be a furry? Just a curious question. And to top off the question. IS it fair to say that if a person who draws anthropomorphic, writes, let alone a huge fan of it, should be type cast as furry? It's something I noticed lately. I'll just say personally, no, no one should be type cast to it, just because of those reasons. BUT, I wanna know what you all think, so I won't dive into this....yet.

OH yeah, oh yeah....

Okay, that's as far as I'll go. :-P

Monday, chilled at home.

Tuesday, visited my old friend Nick. Glad to see he's okay.

Wensday, saw Steve. Still goofy as ever. I mean, he's close to 60 and still acts like a wild, jock teenager. Muhahahaha, but he's really cool.

Thursday, saw Breimh, Purrzah, and the others. No Da'al though, but oh well, maybe next time. And watched "Ant Bully". It was not anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was nice. Better than my voice ruining ear drums *grr*. Heh.

Friday, got to my truck by Lunch. Got a load to pick up at 2 PM....IN PASCO, Washington. Well, I had to pick up a trailer in Kent. So long story short, I got to Pasco by the time the time the last rays of sunlight disapeared, and it was purely dark by the time I got on US-395. Picked up a load of mashed potatoes......heading to Kirkwood, NY state. By the time I got loaded up. I sat at a truck stop. I swear, if anyone watched old Holywood movies of their bad interpretations of trucks stops are like......that's the place to go to find just that. I'll put it this way, the showers where so bad (not to mentioned had a long line...for the only two in the building), I decided to skip the showers and start driving early Saturday morning.

Saturday morning, took US-395 north to I-90 east, to I-94 east. Well, okay, I was 80 miles away from the interchange by the time I ran out of hours in Montana.

Sunday, drove from the rest stop I was at, all the way to Fargo, North Dakota. Stoped at our fuel stop there.....a truck stop...of course. Either way, I love this truck stop (was my last company's fuel stop too). It's got alot of showers, and all clean. And good food, with enough parking. By the time early Monday morning came, I had my first shower since I got back to work on Friday. Sorry, but for those who know rest stops off of interstates. We are lucky to have a clean, working bathroom with a fountain. But usually its dirty, out of toilet paper, and no water for days. Worst rest stops in this country by the way is New Mexico. And for Texas.......what rest stop? Have a picnic out in the middle of nowhere at the picnic areas.

Early Monday Morning, I drove from Fargo North Dakota to here at our main Terminal in Mondovi, Wisconsin. I got here by 10 AM. Got myself scheduled for all the repairs this truck needed. Though by the time they put it in the shop (10PM) to when they finished (2:15 AM.....shop closing time), my load to New York State was pulled and given to some one else. Oh well, no biggie, did not want to go there anyways.

Today, found out the wireless internet here in the terminal is working finally. Hence why I am online. And I got a load going to Virginia....ugh. But at least its further south of the New England area. Just waiting on my trailer to arrive here. SOme one picked it up, and its going to be split here in the terminal. And I'll shoot it all the way from here.

About it so far.

Oh, and since Friday, I have NOT been able to sleep for more than two hours......last night was the first night I was able to sleep up to 8 hours. I swear, just the thought of going to the North east keeps me up at night.

Happy Valentine's Day All.

Well, TOO MUCH to say about how things been since last update. SO.......well, I'll just sum it up. Too much hellish things came up on my way from MN to CA, then CA to WA. BUT, I made it back, and its good to be back...even for a short bit.

So far since I been back. All I done is pay Mom some money....since they apparently are broke. Disheartening. Really. But meh, now I can help out a bit.....so I did. Though I was hoping to squeeze more into the bank for a couple months till I get rid of two bills. I got 7 more months of payment, then my truck school loan is done. Then 700 on the laptop bill, then its done. Though I got till the begening of July to pay it off before the interest rate kicks in. I did one of those deals where I pay no interest for the first two years. Heh.

Oh well, but its slowly going. As long the job keeps doing what its doing, I'll be able to pay those two bills off along with paying one or two people off. Depends. Though I do need to get my Hazmat endorsement before the middle of April, or I won't have a job. Heh, I hate Hazmat. Its stupid.

Well, here goes, Monday I hanged out at home. Got the two parents in here to watch Over the Hedge. :-P Tuesday, went to court, got my ticket lowered to $65 bucks. Which is good. Then meet up with a very close friend of mine that I knew since high school. I wish things would start to look up for him and his family. They where not able to make the payment in December, so they are currently waiting to get that eviction notice. But till then, just live like they always do. Oh well, at least he is doing fine other than that. And I got to hang out with Lotus. Hehehehehe, I miss her, she's the most goofy Samoyed you'll ever see. She hates strangers and is very antisocial. But she loves my friend's family and is a very well behaved and agile dog they have....TILL I SHOW UP. Then around me she's clumsy, loud, obnoxious, rough, and demanding. I mean it, she purposely trips cause she knows I'll catch her. Then once I catch her, she'll just lay in my arms and smile as I tell her to be careful. You know, she's the one that finally got me to understand that maybe a little poking and prodding can be.....uh....a sign of affection. :-P Oh well.

Anyways, me and Nick (person I was talking about) went out to Everett to meet up with other freinds of ours. Heh, stupid fatality in Marysville kept us there for an hour.....just to move a mile. Then once we got to Everett, we decided to stay there till the whole mess was done. I went south bound on I-5. But we have to go North Bound later to go back to Camano Island. Either way, North Bound was backed up from Marysville to Lynwood to Bothell. Hell, I heard it was backed up to Bremerton. Though I could be wrong on that.


today is chill for now...about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea7oIraV2Q0


Muhahahaha, I am sorry, but this makes me LMAO.

Muhahahaha, Dr.Tran doesn't take your shit! :-P

Hehehehe, I am so fucking broke.

But I am finally caught up with my bills.....so that's why I am broke. I just got one more bill to take care of. Its not over due, wich is the laptop payment. And the ticket I'll be paying at court date next week, and I am caught up for this month. Wheeee, if things keep looking up, I'll be out of the hole. Either way, I don't see Bankruptcy any time soon. :-D

Now to sit and wait just to hurry over to a customer...then wait. And once that is done, SAME again.


http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48210270/

In case anyone is curious to the ugly mug behind the fursona. Heh, like as if anyone wants to see my ugly face.

BUT, at least you get to see my company's SEMI. WHEE!

I saw a freind of mine on Friday night after me sitting there all day to get a mirror replaced on my truck....cause some idiot backed his trailer into it.

Saturday, middle of Nebraska.

Saturday night, stopped at a rest stop in Wyoming. 50 to 60 mph gust......it was shaking my truck while I was sitting still.....scared out of my wits. And having wind blowing so hard that your coat flies is NOT cool. Its FREEZING. And knocks the wind out of you. Not to mention, knocks you off your feet....especially when your walking over a foot of snow turned ice. Oh, and blowing snow is FUN. Watch the roads disapear, reapear, redisapear....you get the idea.


Sunday Night, Salt Lake City.....boring.

Tonight, Reno.....boring also...and thank goodness for that.


Anyways, as for Valentines day. What's the point in going all gag gah over it. Let alone all super depressive over it.. To me its like another day. There is no need to make a special day out of the year to show some one you care that they are special. You should be doing that way more than once a year. All this day does is shows how forgetful you are as a lover. While it leaves poor smucks like me feeling all lonely, cause we don't have some one significant to smother over.

Seriously though, Valentines day is over rated. There is nothing wrong with the banner though. And no reason to be jealous either. The world continues to spin. And if your hoping Mr/Ms right, soon, soon. If your not....well, I'll be surprised if this day bothers you at all.

Anyways, I'll do what I always do on Valentines day....forget it is even happening and work...or play. Either way, another day. And I got a whole gang of friends who don't celebrate it either. So I know I am not the only one. If you want to celebrate it, go right ahead. But please, don't bring me down just because your down that you are not part of that huge crowd where in order to show their significance, they need a significant other to shower "love" over.

And the main reason I bring this up cause I always see this with the majority of people I know online do.

"Oh, Valentines suck, cause it reminds me how lonely I am." Or, "Why am I so lonely while everyone have some one to love." I can go on with the mopey lines. But I won't. Rejection is not so bad if you don't consider it as a rejection. Especially since you have not been rejected. A rejection is only valid if you go up to some one and say, "Hi, lets date." And the other says, "No."

Oh well, this is all I am going to say on this subject. It just annoys me to see the same thing every Valentines day. There is always a group on one side who are so exited and got plans made out of their ears for their love one. And the other half who are just......crying....to say it nicely. And very few in between. Just enjoy life while your still alive.

Since allot are doing this, why not?

Hehehe, I decided to comment allot.....

(+++) INSTANT BONER
(++) Serious turn-on
(+) I like it
(~) Indifferent/undecided
(-) Not my thing
(--) Turn-off
(---) INSTANT FLACCIDNESS
Additional (*) means I like it, but I know it's weird and shameful.


Anal on Males (---) Uh....no thanks.

Anal on Females (~) I don't know, I guess as long as the female is enjoying it, then its fine by me.

Breasts (+) Heh, I am not crazy about breast, but it does represent a part of a female, non-the-less.

Breast Expansion (---) Sorry, but natural is hot. And if she's naturally small or big, good. But really, no back breakers....

Bondage (~) Once again, if she's having fun....but no thanks on me

Clothing (++) Depends on what she's wearing. :-P

Leather (~) Once again, this falls under last comment.

Stockings (~) Meh, they are another form of socks

Shoe/Boots (~) Heh, to be honest, shoes don't do anything, but naked fem in boots...(-)

Suit and Tie (+++) Sorry, I am weird, I think a female in a tuxedo is awsome.

Muscle, Male (~) Meh, so they are strong, I'll just avoid pissing them off.

Muscle, Female (+++) NOT steroid muscle. But natural work out muscles.

Herm (---) Herms are just freaky, sorry.

Cub (~) It can be sexy if lets say a teen is exploring sex on the teen's own will. But that's about it. Anything a child is just wrong.

Baby/Diaper (---) Really, what's so great about wearing a diaper? Wheee, I am wearing undies filled with my own shit.

Transformation (---) What's so hot about something transforming into something else? I swear, I never thought Transformers could be a porno. Sure, the subject at question is not about that series. But still, transforming in general? Come on.....I just don't get it.

Macro/Micro (~) Sorry, I find it interesting if a 4 foot mouse courts a 7 foot horse....or vice versa. But a 7 stories tall....and 3 inches......sorry, I just don't get that either.

Impregnation (+) I am not crazy about it, but it does get me interested non-the-less.

Pregnancy (~) Depends, if the female is really wanting to mate while in the early stages of pregnancy, okay. But in the later stages.....or birthing.....(---)

Lactation (---) Sorry, that milk is for the child...not me...

Vore (---) Yes, nothing gets me off than knowing I'll be eaten to my doom....for real people, WTF?

Paw/Foot (~) Meh,its interesting, but I am not crazy about it.

Incest (~) It's just wrong. For some reason its interesting at the same time...well, just wrong. That, and I get personal everytime some one brings that up. Especially when they find out I have a sister. Then I get these stupid question about "have you and her....you know?" Of course not. Then they wonder why I get angry and tell them to fuck off. Get the heads out of the gutter people.

Yuri (F/F) (~) Meh, it can be interesting...and it can be boring.

Yaoi (M/M) (---) Sorry, not only I don't like it. But for some dumb reason I find the male body to be ugly. I am mean.

Hetero (M/F) (+++) YEAH Baby. :-P

Bi (~) Its so wrong....yet...well, I guess I am sorta interested in seeing how a group would work.....orgy wise

Girly Boys (---) No, no, no.

Butch Girls (+++) I don't know why. I just like females who look like young, clean gentlemen. Though if they have facial hair.....uh....scary.

Mind Control (---) WTF?

Rape (---) Once again, WTF? Nothing is fun about rape. Matter of fact, if a person forces themself on you, and you accept it from start to finish...or some where inbetween. It's not rape. But if the person never wanted it....no matter what. Then its rape. Either way, I guess the ones who like it never got raped in their life.

Uniform (+++) Muhahaha, school uniforms, police uniforms. Hell, I even find a woman hot in a McD's uniform. SO I am weird.

Orgy (+) I'll never do that in RL. But...well, I guess it can be interesting, you know, seeing a consenting group go at it.

Subbing/Domming (---) Never was into either. Takes two to tango, and that's how I feel about it.

Biting (---) Bite me and I'll slug you.

Cheesecake (~) Well, a little tease is nice. But too much teasing would just make me give up and leave.

Solo Masturbation (+++) Muhahahaha, I am such a voyeur. I am always curious on watching females get themselves off. I don't know why, I guess I am curious.

Watersports (+) Before I get weird looks. I don't like the idea of getting pee on me or peeing on anyone. I am just more curious on seeing...well, a lady having to go on the toilet. Curious on how the body works....I guess. At least for how they pee.

Scat (---) Sick, sick, sick.

Inflation (---) I don't get this one.

Fat/Pudge (~) I am indifferent. I do like skinny girls. But I am also fine with fat and pudgy females. I am a huge male myself, so I am not perfect. The turn off though is when a female is so overly huge that I have no clue on how she moves about. Of course, this can be said about super skinny girls who can snap in two by blowing air at them. I guess within reasonable proportions.

Tech (~) What? Toys? (+) Machines and/or robots? (---)

I was watching the snow fall out here in Rogers, MN. Just small sprinkles. Either way, its not piling up on the ground, let alone on my truck. On top of that and searching the web, and talking with Dispatch to see if there is a way I can reset my 70 AND get a nice load going from here to San Fransisco, CA. I just had to wonder for no reason.

How come some people have the gull to call some ones unique art style crap. I mean, there are some people who are just starting, and you usually can. When things are way off and too rough to be considered smooth. So that's how I feel about it. But then again, when people are just starting new on anything, its bound to happen.

Now what gets me really upset is seeing a person call some one else's art style crap, just because it happens to NOT be the style of art the person likes. Sorry, but I just find that a bit unfair. Really, some like more cartoony style over realism. Though when dealing with furries......let alone (cough) herms, how the hell do you make a furry....let alone ANY herm, atomically correct? Its still going to be WAY off. Sorry, I don't like herms, but if I had to get into the conversation, I can go find books and online links showing anyone how the embryo develops within the mother. And the baby is pretty
much sexless at its start in the mother's womb. Eventually the thing "down there" starts to slowly develop, a nub may appear, eventually shrinking to a clit........or enlarging into a penis. Also a sack may appear....or in its place, the lower "lips". So really, if there are "Real" herms, it won't look so pretty and lovely. Like some like to draw.

Also, just the normal genders of furries. I mean, they will never be truly anatomically correct. Cause they are a mixed between humans and what ever animal they represent. Its all the imagination, I guess.

Hell, for shits and giggles, lets make a giant walking, talking dick, hackling at a vagina giving out monologues.

Or was that done already? It won't surprise me if it has.


But back on subject, I think its unfair to judge a persons art work. Just because it's not "perfect" within your taste. Especially if your one of those who actually could use allot of improvement on your own work. And its no reason to get on anyone else's case for liking such and such art. Cause hey, you may hate it, but some people, like me, may like it. So you don't like it, just be nice about it and say, "Meh, I don't like." And be a little helpful with the criticism. Who knows, maybe it might not only open a persons eyes up to its problems and what "could" have been done. But the artist would probably appreciate it. Instead of, "IT SUCKS." Really, all that does is shatter the will of that person to want to do anything and probably give up on their hobby. Or passion.

Well, I been here since this morning. Damn its cold up here.

Anyways, yesterday was interesting. They gave me a decent run to go pick up after I finish unloading in Tomah, WI. BUT, they messed up on planning, either way. I told them I can't legally do it. So no fuss, I was dropped off that load that was supposed to get me to Memphis, TN (not like I want to go there anyways). BUT, instead, I get a very short run of a load. Pretty much a split. They had a guy with little hours to play with in Chicago to pick up a Nabisco load, and haul it to where I was parked. We swap trailers, and I brought it here on time in 6 AM.

Okay, now I found my first problem with this company. They say that if I made under a 100 bucks for a run, I should get an extra 100 bucks on top of what ever I made for that day. BUT, I don't get it if I do a swap to "repower" a load (aka save the load). So I nicely told my dispatcher to never give me another fucking "repower" load unless you guys are planning to pay me upfront for the cost. Plan better on your guys part next time, and don't make ME suffer cause of it.

Anyways, about it. After that load, I told them I was too tired and to leave me alone today. He did not seem to like it, but after I told him off and let him know how disappointed I was and how I did not sleep cause I wanted to make sure I got the load here on time and actually felt cheated. There for shut up and let me sleep. He did just that.




Anyways, snowing slowly. It was super cold in the morning, still cold now. But not cold enough to make the snow stay snow. What I mean is, its melting when it hits the ground. At least where I am at. I was hoping to get in touch with a bud up here. But he's on randomly through the week on AIM. SO, yeah, oh well. Hehehehe, about it. Maybe tomorrow I'll get a decent run out of here. Who knows.

Yep, I am back in Wisconsin after being in Florida for a week. Wow, amazing, I think. :-P

Anyways, so much to say but little time. I'll just say I still got allot to learn about below freezing weather. I mean, on Monday morning in Indianapolis, I just got out of the shower at our terminal there, walked outside with wet hair. I did not go back into my truck right away, since I had to remove a few locks on it, do a pre-trip inspection. And then drive it to the fuel pumps not to far from where I parked. Then walk around it, finishing up my pre-trip inspection as I fuel up. By the time I was done, I decided to touch my hair for some odd reason...that and it felt weird. The damn hair was FROZEN. I kid you not.

Heh, with that in mind, I drove all the way here to Tomah, WI. Been here since, got an appointment time in a couple hours. Once there, I don't know. They got me a load that must be in Memphis, TN by 11.11 am, tomorrow. But I won't be able to make it. I already sent all my needed messages to let them know I won't make it legally. So far I am still waiting for a response.

Oh well, as for where I am at in Wisconsin. I been to this Wal-Mart last year when I worked with Werner. Werner have the contract to deliver all the Wal-Mart DC loads to their store locations in WI, MN, Iowa, and Western tip of North and South Dakota. Let alone the North half of IL. Anyways, it will be an odd feeling going back to this DC, this time as a driver from another company, with an actual load. Maybe I'll see familiar faces, maybe not. But it would be interesting. This truck stop I seen a good number of familiar faces. Even had one lady ask me if I used to come there allot. Hehehe, its neat. And this place finally got internet. But whats rare about it is its free. Whee, free wireless internet...for a short while.

Hehehe, oh well, about it.

Oh, and I was at my sister's place again on Sunday. Its nice to be able to stop for a day, say hi, then leave without a problem. And the WII is neat. Even though its apparently not perfect. I think the boxing have some problems figuring out what I want it to do. But its still fun.

Ah, I am still alive.

Quick update.

Gone down to Florida, unloaded at the two locations. Turn out the inside of the trailer have some damages....mainly the components to the temperature control unit. Either way, after two days of not miscommunication and a day to reset my 70. Trailer fixed, and I am back on the road again. Got a load going back to Wisconsin. Hehehehe, oh well, looking forward to visit my sis in Indianapolis again tomorrow. Oh well, about it so far.

Orientation went well.

Mondoiv, WI is truely an out of area town....only verizon cell phone towers out there.


Got a very nice truck, and I got to visit Indianapolis, IN, for a couple hours to eat, get my stuff. Say hi to sis and bro-in-law. Slept before that too.

Currently in Jackson, GA, heading to Orlando, FL once the laundry is done...which is in a couple minute.


About it. Hehehehehe

Hehehehe, currently finishing getting the last needed paper work I need to take with me. Along with re-packing my bags so each one will stay under 40 pounds. If this was not winter, I would just go and risk taking a light pack and what ever I need in a medium sized duffel bag. But since this is winter, and there's a good chance I may drive south where its a slight bit warmer, I am pretty much playing a juggling act of what amount of what I need to bring. So far I am with three bags. Though I am trying to shoot it down to two. Though also with this company will be a company that don't use automatic adjusting slack adjusters (a part of the brake system). So I am going to have to bring my old shop overals I once used in shop class in High School along with me. I mean, gotta wear something made to get dirty when crawling under those things do to brake adjustments.


Anyways, I got a couple of hours before I get a ride down the Seat-Tac, and head off to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Then from there, take a special shuttle that should get me to Mondovi, Wisconsin from there.

This is going to be interesting. Either way, this better work this time.

Happy Birthday Mikefurry. It may be another year in life. But I am sure things will look up. Just keep on trying. Even though we may get on each others nerves allot, don't mean I don't think about you. Take care.

Heh, I actually seen an owner operator have his truck named "We B Haulin". I mean, this guy had his rig all bling bling (funny word.....since when it was part of English?). BUT, I guess it was the last thing that made me laugh before I left Werner the first time in late 2005. Heh, forgot the name of the town, but it was South of Cleavland, OH.


Anyways, I FINALLY got a call back from one of the companies I signed up for a couple weeks ago. Too bad its not a local job. But its still a job. I am crossing my fingers that I don't get royally burned like I did while I was with Werner...hell, I am still broke. I am hoping I'll be able to start RIGHT after orientation. In case anyone wants to know who I am now having the "pleasure" to work for. It's Marten, out of Wisconsin. Hehe, they do have a terminal in Portland, OR. BUT, apparently they are filled up with new recruits for this week. So I could wait (if I was more assertive) for next week to bus down there for Orientation. Or, what I end up doing (well, I did say I wanted to start ASAP....and I really need too.....two months behind on bills), they'll FLY me out to their main headquarters in Mondovi, Wisconsin.

While working with Werner, they would rather let you risk your life....let alone WASTE your time taking a bus to far places. I mean, when I went back to Werner for my second run with them, I was living in Indianapolis, IN. Yet, they where going to bus me back to Portland, Oregon, cause that's where I started at the first time I worked for them. Oh well, that got fixed eventually. And I did live near the Indy terminal, like 15 minutes from it.

Point I am getting at is, Marten, to my surprise, not only told me I'll get a ticket, but they talked like it was normal, and within seconds, I had an e-mail with the confirmation number and everything for Northwest Airlines. I checked it to make sure I was not dreaming, and it is in the airline's database. Okay, they scored a point so far. Even though they almost lost me after me waiting for so long. But in case anyone was wondering, I was looking at other sources of employment while waiting for them.....and many others. Though, Marten so far was the only over the OTR company I signed up for. While there where others I was still trying to find more info on. The other jobs I was looking into where local driving jobs and maybe some IT work.

Speaking of IT, I give up on it. I can't afford certifications, I got a degree, but don't mean shit. I had jobs in the past turn me down cause I had no certifications, yet hire certified people WITHOUT a degree. Really, what's so special about these damn, expensive, time sensitive pieces of paper that you can get in less than an hour? IF, IF, I ever had a stable job and some money, I would try to invest in it. But I am already too far in debt to think about getting loans. Fuck that field.


Anyways, I am rambling. But I got a job. I am excited at the same time weary. I'll just have to watch out and be careful. Cause I may be hired. But there's always something that can go wrong in orientation that may not get me hired. Like drug screening and back ground checks. Even though the back ground checks are done. They'll do it AGAIN. And I'll have do ANOTHER application. In case anyone is wondering, that is how EVERY over the road truck company does it. You are pre-hired. Go in, then work on getting hired. Though its not hard, fill in all the paper work, and the only real thing that would stop you from getting the job is if you FAIL the drive test. And/Or your drug test comes back positive. I never done drugs, so I should be fine. But of course, that don't mean shit if I ate or drank something that may set it off. As for the drive test. I hope everything comes back to me AT THAT moment. But once it all comes back to me, I am confident I'll be fine.


Oh well, another year starts, with another run on the road. This time with another company. I hope this time, this works out. But if this don't work out, well, fuck over the road truck companies. I'll do local stuff. Plus, if I get 6 months to a year with this company, I'll have more than 2 years experience. There really can't be any excuse why I can't get a local driving job...unless, of course, I fuck up and crash and/or get tons of tickets.

Interesting weather we been having here up in the Pacific Northwest (USA). Heh, Rain, wind, snow. Rain, wind, snow. And the thing is, either we get alot of rain till it floods, or alot of snow till it messes up everything. Or we get ALOT of wind.

Heh, oh well, such is life out here.

In other news, out of the blue, I been using Windows 95.....for the PURE fun of it. Muhahahahahaa, so much I can't do. Yet so much of the typical stuff I still can do. I still see alot of life for this thing when it comes for office productivity. Aren't I insane? :-P


Hehehe, oh well, about it. Using the latest version of Opera to surf the net. Though the latest version of Firefox keeps crapping out. Sadly. :-/

Strange what I'll do to pass the time. :-P

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

For those who read BLAH, BLAH's. :-P

Well, I just finished mailing a package for a friend of mine today. I love being asked to do something without a chance to say no. I mean, okay, I could say no, but then it would piss the person off who was asking me the favor. I'll just say this, if I did not know the person that the package was going too. I would not have done it at all. I am getting tired of being dragged into being the bitch while others treat me like shit. I mean, maybe if I was ASKED, and MADE SURE I know what was going on before it happened. And given a chance to say yes or no. I would not feel so used.

Then again, I don't care anymore. There is no reason why I should do favors, only to be treated like some moron when I pull through...or not. What ever, if I can't be trusted to the 100% fullest. Don't ask me. And what I mean is. If you have doubts, just don't ask me. Period.


Oh well, I took my time mainly cause I was too busy with trying to get my life in order. And when I did remembered, I wanted to make sure I send a card of some sort before I sealed it up and sent it. I decided to make today the day to just get that done with. So I got a card, sealed it up, and sent it, certified. Just to make sure it gets there, and I have proof that it did get there. Nothing against the person who's receiving it. It's just so in case I don't hear from him in awhile, at least I'll know it have made it through other means. That and I should be able to track it some how.

As for the work front. Nothing yet. I have not heard back from one place I been in contact with....mainly cause the person who's working on my application have been sick since Thursday. Okay, so I'll bother him tomorrow to see. Though main reason I held off today is....well, I really don't want to drive all over the country again. I love the job. But with a job where they only pay you when your wheels are moving. It can break you financially when your stuck in a truck stop for a week. Really, it's a brutal job when it comes to financial stability....or lack of. I just don't want to be broke again...hell, I am STILL broke.

One temp agency did not have anything available for the area. So tomorrow I'll be going over to another place to sign up and see what they might have.

I hate temp agencies, but hey, its a start as I look for other jobs of my interest. Half the people say temp agencies, half say no. Either way, I am giving these temp agencies a shot. I swear, some people think they speak for everyone.


And to end this entry. Yes, I am still royally pissed off about a certain subject from weeks ago. I am just going to say this one more time. And no more. No body is the voice for everybody. One person says such and such. And another says the total opposite. And its the same no matter what it is. Some say I am the smartest guy around, and some say I am the dumbest moron ever existed. Some say they love comments. Some say they hate comments. And they all stick to their guns. Good for them. But neither one of them are the voice for EVERYONE. Also, if there is allot of things you hate about me, then why am I even your friend? Really, answer me that? Then again, never mind, don't, I am afraid to get the answer. Either way, I have my problems, everyone else including you have yours. Be a good sport and do yourself a favor. Fix your own personal problems. Save yourself the heart ache with working on mine. If, IF I ask for help, then it is up to you. But I won't hate you if you don't help. And I won't love you better if you do help. That's what a true friend is. Being there, when needed, and accepting rejection when rejected. Either way, I am sure if I went around, trying to "help" other people with their problems without their consent. I am sure I'll be hated and ignored also.

And also, I am not going to feel bad for reacting the way I did when the other person decides to go out and say all sorts of bullshit about me and making shit up about me. I confide allot about myself with this person, and I know I did not tell him half of the crap he's going around and telling others about me. I am shattered and upset about it. And totally embarrassed too. And as far as I am concerned, if that person wants me to talk again. I want an apology and/or an explanation. Then we'll talk about it like adults. And maybe, MAYBE even be able to convince me other wise. But I am done taking the shit. I am done being the one who have to make the first step to work things out. And to top it off, I am tired of being the ONLY one who must change while the other continues to be him/her troubled self.

And I am tired of trying to prove people other wise about me. If people rather get shit from the Jock's ass then get word from the horse's mouth. That's their problem.

Yeah, I rant, I rave. I am a negative person. But I am tired of being called negative....when I post a POSITIVE entry. Sorry if my positive entry don't have enough flowers, jokes, and celebrations to make you all giddy.

I know this is NOT a positive entry. I can tell the difference. This is defiantly a negative entry. No flowers, not kids laughing. NOTHING but the pure raging inferno of my anger and rage.

If my entries and personality makes you all suicidal. I am terribly sorry. I would hate to see you kill yourself cause of me. It would really shatter me. But on the same token, why the hell do you need my personality and outlook to shape your life? If you can't help yourself. Then you have a problem. I would say we, but parentally saying "we" means "I" have a problem. Instead of "you" have a problem, and "I' need to help some how.

That is all I am going to say about that.

I can be your best friend who'll do you favors without thinking about a return.

Or I can be nothing more than a shadow who'll leave you alone.

Either way, I'll never stalk or hunt a person down. Too many people do that. They are called terrorist.....or idiot US politicians. Take your pick.

Live long and prosper.