Ok so I had a fun time at fau over the weekend. Got to hang out with a friend I havent seen in a while and also met so new people who were really cool. Ill try to post pictures soon. It did seem smaller this year though. Also im thinking of making another account where the name fits my sona more. If I do I will post it here.

So I will be at fa:u next weekend. I'll be there all three days and debating on fixing up and bringing quail man to just do for a bit to see if anyone remembers me or to make it a thing.

So it's gonna be fun because hopefully I'll have a car by July, which will be nice not having to share one with my mother. Me and good friend are going to see Neon Trees July 7th. This will make my fith time seeing them because I won a ticket to a intimate gig they did for their album release in April. That was a great show small venue like only two hundred people. Um I'm still with toys r us, even though I'm now and assistant manager it's not working out so I might be job hunting again in the near future. Oh I'm looking forward to tonight because I get to finally make it to and archery range. It's been a year or so since I shot a bow but I love it. Oh and that person who I thought scammed me reached out to me four days ago and apologized and they had to step back and and look at there life and that I should have my refsheet by Monday. So yay I can now get more work of myself. Well that's all I have right now I'll try to post more in the future.


Neon out

I really do I recently commissioned someone to make a ref sheet for me. The guy was offering them cheap cause he wanted to add more to his portfolio. So about 19 days after I first contacted him he messaged me saying he was almost done just needed to know my Sonas eye color then he be done. So fast forward to Thursday I messaged the guy to see how it was going because I know life can get in the way of art sometimes. He said he had to color it real quick and I would have if by that day. Then thirty minutes later he made a post he was shutting down commissions and he was done and that if you were waiting for your commission your not getting it then deleted his page and removing all the ways to contact him. God this kinda shit pisses me off.

So far this year only two things good happened, I've gotten closer to two friends who I kinda knew but we never got to talk much but now we talk all the time, and I got to meet one of my favorite bands Neon Trees. Other then that I've had two funerals I had to go to with in a four week span, two of my closest friends stopped talking to me , my depression has been bad, and due to stress I landed my self in the hospital for 17hours and then almost again last week. So I'm just tired and feeling lost. I hate doing rants like this but I just needed to rant. Thanks for reading

So first off hope everyone's holidays were good.

I know I've been quite but that's cause there's nothing in my life lately. But hopefully that will change soon. I'm working a three new cosplays, one of which is for  shadow351 so we shall see if I can tackle the one big blockade on it seeing I'm trying out new costume techniques.
So over the holidays my birthday happened to pass and I got drunk for the second time cause I wasn't the one driving for once. I found out I found my poison, Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters.
Cons I would like to go to this year are wicked fair in February in NJ, icon here in ny if they finally set a date, NYCC, FAU, and what ever furfright becomes.


Well I'm tired a bit might watch this snow fall for a bit and pass out.

Neon out.

So it's been a while since I posted an update, so here we go. I went to furfright last month and had a lot of fun. It was a last minute thing like I was told by a friend two days before I left that I was going, i kinda needed it also cause I had gotten out of a short relationship a day before the con so it was a good way to destress. I'm still working at toys r us which next week will be hell due to black Friday, I will say working there has gone by fast cause Sunday was my one year there and it hasn't felt like a year. I've been kinda helping  shadow351 make the body portion of his fursuit, so it's cool that I'm getting to get back into sewing. I might upload the pics I took at furfright if im not feeling lazy one day. I hate to seem like a downer but if I seem out of it sometime my depression has been popping up in my life again, I try to keep a handle on it but if anyone who suffers from it knows what it's like there are days it just like punches you in the face and there are others where it's not bad. Well that's it for now.


Neon out

Hey I don't normally ask you guys for things but today is my best friend/ brother's birthday. He's turning 22 and he's been a bit down, so I was hoping I could get his page spammed with birthday wishes. His page is  shadow351 . Thanks guys Neon

Hey y'all, I know I been quite lately. I'm hopping on changing that. For those of you who know I been dealing my depression again, I'm on the up swing of dealing with it. I've written a few things but can't upload them cause I still don't have a desktop to type them up. I'm working on fixing up a couple of my costumes in the next few months. Speaking of costumes I been tossing around the idea of getting or trying my hand at making a partial but Idk if I want to cause I realized otter squeak and idk how squeaker furs are reserved in the fandom, but that's beside the point. I'll keep everyone posted and I'll be trying to post more. As for cons I am not going to be able to make it to fur fright, but my next con is going to be wicked faire in somerset nj and then icon here on long island. Well that's all for now.


Peace out, Neon

Ok so I got back from my first fur con yesterday and I had so much fun and met so many really nice people. The con was full of so much cuteness. I did Friday night as quail man, which went well got reconized as quail man all weekend. I got my first tail. I will posting pics as soon as I can. And I would tag the cool people I met who's accounts I was able to grab but forgot how to tag people lol.

So me and my friend are heading to fau this weekend it's both of ours first fur con. I know I'm looking forward to it but not fully sure what to expect.

I'm heading down to wicked faire this weekend down in new jersey. I'm going with the werewolf/vampire group called Cimmerian Consortium. I'll be wondering the con as my werewolf character named Connor. I'm gonna be working the goblin market Friday night and I know we have a couple panels sat and sun I just don't know them off the top of my head. So if you see me say hi. I'm looking forward to go away for a weekend it's been a while and cant wait to hang with friends. Well gonna finish packing and hope to see ya there.

Peace, neon

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4086357/ go there to enter

Allright I'm bored. Ill answer anything and ill be honest.

Ok let me start off I'm mainly posting this on here because I don't want a lot of people who know me to see this like I know three of you in person and one I talk to but haven't met face to face yet.so I don't know what to do anymore I'm still getting whit from people I used to trust saying they want me dead. Like I try to put off when I'm threatened this tough guy act but like people who truely know me I'm not like that I'm a sensitive guy who is always getting hurt. I don't know who is gonna turn on me next and I'm scared of loosong another friend. Like I don't like living like this. I just wish this stuff wouldn't happen. I just wish it all end sometimes. Like I can never hurt myself Im to scared of the pain and hurting people. On top of it I have so much stress from family I'm worried that its taking a toll on my health big time. And Ive been trying to improve myself and stay positive but all of this is making it readdy hard and right now I just wish I had someone to cuddle up with and fall asleep safe in their arms. I just hate that I'm always getting hurt and I wish I had a car so I can go see the people who do offer to help me out and clear my mind. Ian out

So I've had a pretty crappy month and a half. Two of my old friends flat out told me they want me dead when I defend my self after their girlfriends attac me for no reason. And the thing that's bumming me out right now is that lastnight I went to a party for my best friends 21's (granted he had it a month late cause he works a haunt every oct.). I had a great time it's just I wanted to have a drink with him and also calibrate that I found out I got a job yesterday also but I couldn't because I had to pick up a friend who was out of my way. I only did it because he asked me to be his date because his boyfriend had to work.(Ill explain in a bit). But also I had to drive. It sucks like every time I go out with friends I get stuck as dd and they all wonder why they have never seen me drunk and I'm not one to have a drink at home because it feels weird cause I still live at home with my mother and to me it be weird to drink around her. And the whole guy wanted me to be his date is I'm friends with him and his boyfriend, their in an open relationship and they both want to get me in the sac. And the one I get to hang with more was the guy I picked up lastnight and he's nice but not fully my type. Like we're into diffrent things so it's hard to have a convorsation with him. So lastnight he got drunk and kept dissapearing to go smoke, and then left with someone else cause he wanted to go to the after party at my friends place cause everyone was gonna smoke a few hookahs. And if any of you know me I hate driving home late at night by myself from somewhere I've never been mainly because I don't have a gps or a cell phone. And all I wanna do right now is have a drink with a friend but that's not going to happen because no one is around. I'm sorry if this is long I just needed to vent some where that is not Facebook. Thanks and peace Neon

ok so i know its been almost a year since i posted pleasure in paradise well i wanted to get back to workin on part 2. sadly its on my desktop comp that kinda died two weeks ago and i don't have the money to get fixed at the moment but soon as get it fixed ill get on it dont worry ,so for now Neon out

hey part two or pleasure in paradise has been writen for two months now but i havent found the time to edit it down. also the past three months now i have been in a shadowcast group on long island new york, and i am in our rocky horror shadow cast and crew on our repo! show. so if your on long island look up ZEN shadowcast and try to make it out to one of our shows.