Well 401 by the time of making this journal, but still HOLY CRAP!

Thank you guys so much for everything you guys do and more, I'm grateful for each and everyone of you guys truly, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for each and everyone of your support.

Thank You Guys Truly! :)

Never thought I see the day I become the new nemesis of an infamous individual on here.

I won't say who as apparently sharing a vid explaining the kind of person he is got FA issuing me a warning for calling said person out. Which I confess I do apologize for breaking FA rules and such, though I won't apologize for sharing the truth.

That said I do confess I am considering trying other sites similar to FA but well a little more neutral so to speak as this whole thing came down the topic of some current controversy going on with the world. And I confess I find myself growing less and less connected to FA because of...discrimination that is allowed to a degree...

So wanted to ask do you guys have any other sites like FA that ya'll use for either getting commissions and other stuff.

Sorry for the journal sounding well negative I hope you guys are all doing okay and well.

And as Abe Lincoln once said, "Be excellent to each other, and… PARTY ON, DUDES!!!”

Hey everyone me again.

First I was to apologize for my last journal. I understand it struck a nerve to one or two watchers which I truly deeply apologize for.

I was…deeply upset…and not in the right mind set. Two parts of my childhood, Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan had died, and people were celebrating their deaths for reasons beyond me. Combine with the fact that my favorite restaurant that I always loved as a little kid went out of business. South Park released their most controversial episode to date and, I confess it struck a nerve.

But not in a way others might think, it’s no what South Park did or who they made fun of that struck a nerve it was the fact that they became hypocrites to their own purpose and embrace double standards.

But again I’m not here to talk about any of that just why I snapped a little.

And well last journal did set some people off to the point I had to delete it before it got too out of control.

I did not intend to ruffle any feathers what so ever. I just wanted to vent if only a little. Since I’m not allowed to vent at home, at work, I can’t even afford a therapist or a psychiatrist and the only one my crappy job provides is as blunt as my old man, which is the last thing I needed.

Plus I see several people on here venting at times, some on sensitive subjects. While normally I would be against venting on here, I kind of needed it after that week.

Unfortunately I guess I’m not even allowed to vent on here because I have a different view and mind set compared to most others. Making me wonder should I even stay here at times.

Never the less again this isn’t about me venting but explaining why I needed to vent and apologize to those I have offended in any way shape or form. You guys truly are important to me and I thank each and everyone of you guys for everything you do and more.

Take care everyone and I do hope to try and get something new posted soon.

And once again had to unwatch another fave artist for shooting their mouth off on politics.

And while this isn't new these days I will confess it is making me remember some moments in my life. Specifically how ive seen politics turn people against each other or something.

Warning Politics discussed!

Had a close friend once that I knew since Kindergarten, we were inseparable. But during the eight years during Obama's term he was there to see how every decision Obama made his followers more fanatic more entitled more whatever to make my life a living hell. When I asked him why he never says anything negative about the man despite seeing first hand how I was suffering from him.

His reply was "As my president I'm not allowed to say anything negative about him ever no matter how atrocious his actions could be.

Flash forward to Trump 2016 -2020. I couldn't go one single day without seeing him posting nothing but absolute hate rants about the man, it got so bad that I eventually decided to unfollow my friend to try and spare myself of anymore stress.

Flash forward to Biden 2021 - 2024, it just one month after he got into office I lost my job and health insurance because the increase in gas prices was such that my job couldn't afford to pay for so many employees and their insurances.

When I asked him in regards to this, he tells me it was a necessary sacrifice to keep tyranny from winning.

What kind of friend tells you loosing your job and health insurance was a necessary sacrifice?

Flash forward to current I thought just unfollowing him and limiting my time with him would help make the anxiety and stress go away. Guess at the time I didn't consider well having to unwatch so many artists I love. Along with a good number of them just flat out demonizing me without giving me a chance to explain, and even at times after im allowed to explain they still accuse me of this and that and all that mess.

I don't know if politics have always been this extreme or things only got this extreme as I grew older. However way it's gotten to such an extreme that family and friends turn on each other over it.

And I won't lie when I say its deeply heartbreaking.

Sorry for the tiny sad vent or such everyone. I still got to try and find some free time to uploads some commissions Ive gotten in the past I hope you guys will like.

Thank you everyone for your time.

First journal of the year and once again I had to unfollow another artist who showed their true colors by shooting their mouth off which I rather not talk about.

Because like I said in the last journal I promised this one would be more positive and I am a man of my word.

First off Happy Late New Tear everyone, so sorry it took me a while to wish everyone a new year its been crazy where I live so to speak.

Second, I wanted you guys thoughts on something.

Mostly I post pics of commissions regarding my personal life's work and such. However it's not the only project ive worked on. I do some fanfics just for fun and I do get commissioned pics for said fanfics.

These range from Alien vs Predator, Mass Effect, Star Wars, Baldur's Gate, the list goes on.

I wanted to know would you guys like to see some of these pics Ive commissioned for fanfics I do for fun posted here in my gallery or such? If so let me know and I'll be sure to start posting them when I can.

And Happy Late New Year once more everyone. :)

A month ago I made a journal stating I was gonna make some changes and such after an event struck a serious blow to me. During the month I made some small changes and contemplated what else needed to be changed.

Then I see another artists I used to watch promoting one of the many psychopaths on here, and even though I said no thank you but wished said artist a merry Christmas, comment got removed.

And when I stop and think real hard about the event that happened a month ago and looked at my profile. Well... from the worlds of Dr. Weird from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

“Ah, f**k it!”

I shouldn't have to change who and what I am all because it offends people, just like how no one on here should, ever. So I'm keeping what I have written on my FA page. Yes I might loose chances to get commissions with some artists, which I hate to see that happen. However, I'm not here or writing this to say anyone's views or such is superior or inferior, only I have reasons why I have my profile written the way it is and I don't want to change any of it. Just like I don't want anyone to do the same regardless whatever views or beliefs they do have.

I wanna thank you guys again for sticking with me and taking time to listen to me vent or chat or what not a little. I intend for the next journal to be a little more positive.

As always thank you everyone for your time. :)

What do I think of it?

I think its arguably one of the worst things ever invented by mankind.

Why do I think that, well I could list so many things wrong with it but I think these two journals here best describe why I hate the site and why its no better or different then allot of other social media websites arguably could be worse then the others from the past.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11006645/

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11007280/

Honestly, there's so many things im just tired of. Back when I joined FA I thought I could be somewhere to escape politics and shit that caused me some form of PTSD in real life. And while I'm allot of things in real life, I'm not deaf dumb blind and stupid. And I don't need to be some prophet to see FA isn't the site I used to love anymore. Only reason why I stay and suffer through several heart breaks of seeing artists Ive looked up to for years either block me or worse because they showed their true colors.

Is because I cherish those Ive met on here and those who've taken the time to watch and favorite what little art I can commission and post on here, I cherish every comment and fave I get from people.

I don't know, what do you guys think? Should I stay here or what?

In my life there is one thing that has always happened and I can now say is an absolute part of reality.

Nothing good ever happens in life without something bad happening to balance it.

I won't go into details about what just happened all I'll say is I've had some good moments in my life happen these past few days, only to not find out something bad just happen recently. Something that was bad enough to balance out the few good days I did have.

Either case I think it's time I made some changes myself. As recent event has not only struck an extremely painful blow to me, but also put some plans I had planned for years down the drain which I don't know if I'll ever recover from.

Unlike some Artis who belief and views are more important then their fan base and watchers, I'm not an artist but I have gain something of a following in the years ive been here, and I'm just grateful to have not one but 335 as of the making of this journal. Never in my dreams did I ever think that was ever gonna be possible. I know and understand you guys all come from various views, believes, and backgrounds.

So for those who I've offended in someway shape or form from stuff Ive had on my profile. I'm sorry you guys are hurting, I'm sorry you're witnessing hell, and I'm sorry for everything. Every last one of you guys are beyond important to me, more important than any of my own personal views and beliefs.

So I'm gonna be making some changes here and there in between well current moments of sadness and heartbreak. Because I don't want what just happened to ever happen again.

Thank you everyone for your time and for treating me like a human being whose life does matter.

Here's to 70 Years of Godzilla, and 33 years of being part of my childhood. Happy Godzilla Day.

Long Live the King.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF7kFeFeZ9M

Im sure you guys have heard by now, that today we've lost another part of our childhoods.

James Earl Jones has sadly passed away.

As a kid like everyone I grew up listening to his voice from a variety of things, most famous either being his voice as Mufasa, but obviously his legendary voice as Darth Vader from A New Hope. He was a huge part of my childhood even though I wouldn't know until I got old enough to understand how movies worked but even then I continued to listen and praise him for what an amazing actor he was.

I wish I had more I can say, but sadly just hearing this has me so upset I don't know what else I can put.

All I can say is today is a sad day, and will be a day long remembered. He will be terrible missed but never forgotten. The accomplishments of his amazing legacy lives on. Continuing to be part of the childhoods of countless others long after his passing from this world.

In loving memory of James Earl Jones (January 17, 1931 – September 9, 2024).

He like Vader, is now at one with the Force. Resting well forever in peace.

Thank you for being part of our childhoods, and for everything you done and more.

I can't believe I'm writing this, I always want to stay out of politics and I hope I don't loose any watchers for this. If what I write on here does offend you guys in any way shape or form I do deeply apologize in advance.

In my days of first joining the community, I used to think this be the only community that wouldn't judge me for whatever I was and such. As I stayed in the community and watch the world have its ups and downs mostly downs. That started changing in...sheesh I don't know when it all started...

I guess what tempts me to get into these serious journals is just seeing so many artists or such on here being true hypocrites. They claim they're neutral and do not want any form of discussion of politics in any way shape or form discussed. Yet they sure as hell go out of their way to demonize and flat out say they truly and utterly hate every and all members of their fanbase who make up the ones who don't have the same political views as they do. And they sure as hell go out of there to let the world know how much they hate the group they hate so much. I've lost count how Ive seen other artists act like this, and it both breaks my heart yet at the same time angers me some. I had to unwatch and block another artist today because he showed his true colors and proved himself to be a hypocrite no different than the others. Showing me how much hatred has utterly consumed him.

I used to think I was the worst thing that ever set foot on this planet, that my life meant nothing to no one. So seeing just one person follow me knowing what my personal political ad religious views they may or may not agree with, lets me know someone on this planet does give a damn about me. And thus you guys are so truly deeply special to me every last 307 as of writing this journal.

I'm not perfect I know I have flaws, if anything I see myself as the most flawed individual on the planet. I know while I try to stay out of politics and other super sensitive subjects, I can be seen here and there in a political circumstance. Ive got almost a countless number of other flaw which take me forever to write all down. And yes I do have a fear that I might become one someday and not realize it, which scares me. We all have our unique forms of pain we suffer through that is the root of our hatred at times which I won't lie I have lots of anger from years of pain I suffered from. That I think I'll have to live with for the rest of whatever is left of my life.

But Im a hundred percent honest and swear that when I say you guys are truly special to me, I truly mean that. I not only thank you guys all for watching and enjoy what little things I get the chance to post or such. But for your patience, kindness, and most of all just being who you guys are. You guys matter to me truly allot, and I would never demonize or hate you guys for who or what you guys maybe in real life since you guys accept me for who and what I am. Something Im beyond grateful for and always will be. I know I will make mistakes in the near and far future, and Ive got countless of flaws.

But I ultimately just want to say thank you guys so much for being who you are.

"Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in hell!"

— King Leonidas I, 480 B.C. (300, 2006)

Oh my God, 300, 300 Watchers. I'm beyond thankful just to have watchers in general, I was surprised to somehow get 100. When I got 200 I didn't think possible at the time. But now, 300 watchers. That's more then I ever was able to dream.

You guys are all truly amazing, I owe my thanks and everything to each and everyone of you 300 amazing individuals. I would not be here if not for you guys to make every watch, every comment, ever favorite, and every moment in general with you all that much of a blessing to me.

Thank you all for being who you all are and for everything you guys do and more. Truly thank you.

Hey everyone me again making probably another journal that I don't do much lately, mostly do to my job being EXTREMELY physically demanding and somewhat abusive.

But I wanted to ask everyone this one question that may or may not have ever occurred to you in life and its that one.

Ever had that one artist whose art you used to like and who you looked up to, until they showed their true colors?

I've met a couple in my time, while I won't say any names I will give one example. There was this one artist I used to look up to, then she showed her true colors as one of the most fanatically evil individuals on this planet. Who was so self centered she thought she can insult and attack her own fan base and not suffer consequences, and then later snaps at what's left of her loyal fanbase for not commissioning her or some weird shit. Hell even went as far as to attack another artist and tried to start a flame war with her fanbase against his fanbase and it coming back to bite her on the ass.

Yet despite what an obvious psychopath she is, she somehow still has a fanbase and people still somehow give her praise and shit. And I'm just sitting here thinking how is someone that batshit insane even still on here let alone still have a fanbase.

But enough on that example, I like to hear if any of you guys ever had a artist you used to look up to and enjoy art only for that artist to show their true colors and well you just wonder how anyone can still worship that individual despite what a truly horrible person that artist or such is in real life?

Please if you guys can, don't give any names I don't want to get anyone accidentally in trouble or such. I just like to see some examples you've seen in life and feel free to vent about that person, get it off your chest, and I be more then happy to chat with you on it.

I don't think I've ever done this before but never hurts to try right? Anyrate this artist has arguably one of the most unique and one of a kind art styles in terms of being realistic and such. I highly recommend her to everyone.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53089592/
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/8i-ll-ion/

I've been around for a good 32 years, was around when allot of horrific moments occurred.

This on the other hand, I can't tell if has made me angry or scared.

Im sure most are aware about the shooting that happened in Nashville, for those who don't know look it up and you'll see what happened.

However turns out the killer had a FA account.

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/aiden.hale

This has me angry yet at the same time, it has me scared. Angry for what this monster did and that it was a hate crime targeted towards Christians like me. However I'm also scared because I know allot of people in power are gonna wanna sweep it under the rug because they secretly support what this killer did, and want to try and spin the story to make him/her the somehow innocent victim in this tragedy.

This bastard can never suffer enough in hell for what he/she did. The parents and family deserve justice and closure even if the killer is dead and burning in hell, so this shouldn't be swept under the rug all because the victims had religious views the people in power are against or because they secretly support this killer. The world needs to know as much about what drove or encouraged this killer to do such, in order to stop it from ever happening again.

Finally this shouldn't be used as a means to push for gun control because taking away or limiting people's access to guns isn't going to stop people from wanting to kill each other. If anything it'll make them more dangerous more desperate, and you be surprised at how creative a dangerous and desperate person will get. Take one weapon type away and they'll just find another weapon type to murder with.

Thank you everyone for your time.

Holy crap I can't believe it.

Two Hundred watchers!

Words can never describe how deeply thankful and grateful I am to each and everyone of you guys. I'm really speechless! I mean holy crap wow.

Thank you all for this truly thank you. You guys are all truly amazing and I am blessed to be watched by you all.

I'm not sure how I can best describe how I'm feeling now, or how I can best write this as even now I am devastated and shocked.

I'm pretty sure its maybe well known by now, but for those who don't know the Furry Community has lost a legend today.

Jace has passed away.

I don't know the full details of what happened and I don't think I can bare to read the full story. Though from what I can tell from some sources, his medical problems finally caught up to him. I remember he used to make allot of journals about his health slowly declining but I thought he was getting better or such.

Jace wasn't just my all time favorite artist ever, his one of a king unique art style and creations. As a kid I was so amazed, drawn, captivated by his art, especially his race of anthro dragons known as the Dz'isu. So much so that it was what made desire to want to write or create my own stuff. Which ultimately lead me to where I am now.

His Dz'isu were the inspiration for my life story and desire to join the furry community. His art is what gave me my purpose in life and I would not be here today, survived so much physically, mentally, and emotionally without him.

I looked up to him he was my hero, he was my inspiration, but most of all, he was my reason to live, for if not for him I would've never found my purpose in life.

To hear that he's passed away...I did not see comeing, its like...I don't know how to explain...there's allot of people I've looked up to over the years and I've seen them pass on and their passings would only hurt for a little while. yet jace wasn't just someone I looked up to he was my reason why I'm here right now, he was more then just an idol or someone I just looked up to. So his passing just comes as an absolute shock to me.

I wish I had more to say, I wish I knew how to best honor him, I wish I knew how to show how grateful I am to have seen his art, I wish I knew him personally so I can write more on what a great human being everyone who knew him would tell others. There are allot of things I wish, and yes one of them is I wish he was back.

Sadly, this is all I can do, just explain how much of an impact he had on my life and say my goodbyes.

Goodbye Jace, thank you for being the inspiration that would give me my purpose in life, thank you for everything you accomplished and done, thank you for everything and more.

You will be missed but never forgotten, resting well forever in peace.

I see some people throw this journal in every now and then, so I figured why not give it a try.

So for my watchers or anyone who bumps into this journal now or in the near or far future. Feel free to ask me anything, even on sensitive subjects like religion, politics, etc. On the condition that you please remain civil, calm, and respect my answers and believes as I respect yours as well. It's not my intention to ruffle any feathers and if I do ruffle any feathers I will apologize in advance now and later.

However I hope to maybe give a little more info about myself to you guys and maybe learn something from you all as well. :)

I just reached a hundred watchers. I never thought I see the day I used to never believe i ever achieve that its such a wow for me that Im speechless.

I want to thank you all so very much for all the watches faves and comments. Words cannot describe or express how thankful and grateful I am to each and everyone of you all. You guys are all truly amazing and I am blessed to be watched by you all.

Thank you all for this truly thank you.