I don't know. I've just gotten so anxious and nervous about things to the point where I don't really feel anxious about anything. It's something that I've hardly ever felt. Not worrying about something, what someone thinks about me. I feel void of all feeling. I don't like it, but at the same time, it's all I've wanted. Like, an empty goal. I've always been donk when dealing with any kind of social part of my life. But now that I've burnt out, what do I do? My whole personality has been me pushing my shy nervous attitude until it breaks. Without that, what do I do now? If I had known something like this was going to happen today... If I could go back to the way I was right now, I don't think I would actively fight my anxiety. Especially now that I can say no to people. I hate it. It just isn't something I would normally do. I'm more or less afraid the original Loggy is lost. The shy awkward one. At least for a while.
2/22/17

• First things first, I'm gonna finish up the commissions I have lined up at the moment.

• Gonna try out this -> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7785530/

• Drawing boobies and butts and dicks and stuff.

• https://picarto.tv/Logtut

It's very very very apparent that I suck at keeping up with commissions as is, so I'm going to limit them while I try something completely different! I guess people call this an "art slave" or "hiring", but because I like the idea of being someone's pup, I'm gonna call it Collar Commissions.

Collar Commissions are where I draw whatever you want for an amount of time rather than buying a single picture. You can have me make anything you like based on the collar you pick. Keep in mind that there are things I will not draw. Those things can be found at the bottom of this journal and on my profile. You can set a price limit, time limit or just wait till you wanna stop.

Essentially, pick a price, set a time and tell me to draw stuff.

Collar Colors/Prices
Gray Collar (Sketches SFW) $10/hr
Green Collar (SFW) $15/hr
Red Collar (Sketches SFW/NSFW) $18/hr
Black Collar (SFW/NSFW) $20/hr
Orange Collar (Ignore limits SFW) $60/1st hr > $20/extra hr
Gold Collar (Unlimited + breaks current collar) $80/1st hr > $20/extra hr

Some stuff to know about this
• I reserve the right to terminate service for any reason
• I can NOT wear multiple collars
• I will only obey ONE person
• Control can only be passed ONCE!
• Everything drawn will be put in a folder and sent after payment is received
• Yes, pay me after your time is over
• Nothing will be sent until after payment
• If someone buys a Gold collar while you have an active collar, you get your art for free
• If a gold collar was bought, no one gets their art until after the gold collar buyer pays
• After the first hour, you can pay per minute (ex: $6/hr -> $0.10/min)
• I will always put an hour's worth of work into the first hour
• Leaving the stream within the first hour will not stop your time (please let me know what happened if it's serious. You can get time back)
• Leaving the stream after the first hour will stop your time when I'm done drawing what you told me to draw last
• You can't force me to stop chatting, but you can tell me to get back to work if I chat too much
• If I go AFK, time stops.


Limits:
I will RP as your pet if you like, but keep it PG
I will not draw:
Snake people (Humanoid bodies with snake tails)
Scat
Watersport
Greasy/dirty slob
Hand/foot fetish
Balloon/bubble inflation
Babies (Specifically diapers on anything)
Hard vore
Death
Suffering
Morbid/blob obesity
Over-elaborate characters/technology

I'm gonna promote this idea over the next few months, adjusting as I see fit.
This really only affects how streams will be, and if all goes well, I'll continue adding more options to Collar Commissions. uwu

This doesn't I'm stopping the commissions I'm currently working on.

I'll publicly announce when I officially start Collar Commissions

Feedback, criticism, and dolphin porn is welcomed and encouraged. Thanks for reading!

Because I barely was on for so long, I ended up with a ton of Submissions to look through. I didn't though <w> So I missed a lot of people's beautiful art.

But the real reason I made this is because it said 1337S and it needed to be stopped.

No, I'm not talking about the guy on Youtube. I'm talking about me being fed up with everything on this miserable rock. Every so often I say something angsty and/or sadistic, and I'm surprised no one's bothered to ask about those little slip-ups because there are people that are really pushing my patience. My patience that is already being pushed by all these events going on that I don't care about.

The word "Election" has been flung around with so much crap (and by crap I mean opinions people don't understand, the fact that there's no point in rooting for either candidate, and the usual assortment of bad names and swear words) that it's stressing out the people like me that don't care. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the name "Donald Trump" in the past few months. And I thought I'd heard enough about Hillary Clinton the last time she was running. I've never voted and don't ever plan to vote. I'm highly against voting for human governments as they only seem to make things seem worse. You really want my view of the election? My view right now is I don't care, so please stop asking me about who I want to rule this pretty pretty castle we call America.

It'd also be pretty pretty nice if I wasn't being bothered about drawing things that no one paid for! If you paid me, good for you. Keep on me about that thing you wanted. "But I am going to pay you" you might say. Well Walmart promises the same thing to me, but they're legally bound to as long as they have my soul. Did I mention that they have my soul!? As far I'm concerned, that soul, paycheck and the benefits I have are vastly more important than me saying "maybe" to a request. Maybe means exactly that. Maybe. It's not an unbreakable, punishable promise. The only thing maybe promises is that I won't get an aneurysm from hearing the word "please". And don't act defeated! Sure, I have sympathy, but no one's getting it if they're crying on the floor, fetal position with their unwelcome ellipses trailing behind their weak and damaged "ok" and it's many forms. Now, I really try to be nice, but this is really making me want to be one of those ban-happy assholes everyone hates.

And here's something else I hate. Don't look for me in every corner of the internet! This hasn't been too bad, actually. I have quite a few friends I like being able to find me where ever I may respond quicker. Of course those people seem to have learned that I suck at messaging back and that I stay busy 98% of the time. Did you know people still try to talk to me on Facebook? Kik? Instagram? Skype? I haven't been on there in ages! The only reason it says that I'm online on Skype is because I have to check my email every once in a while and they added Skype in the corner against my wishes.

I also wish people would stop saying "hi" to me. It's not that I'm being anti-social, it's because that's literally the only thing in the note/text/message/DM/letter and it's annoying. If you want someones attention, write more! And I don't mean "Hi *hugs*" because that's just as annoying, if not worse. Ok, so you see your friend at a bar and say "hi" and then hug them, risking having a shattered bottle repeatedly shoved in your abdomen for the next 5 minutes? That may be a harsh reaction, but that's what I feel like doing when I get these frustrating messages all the time. I may not be one for highly sophisticated and intelligent-rich conversation, but I like a little something to work with, like a "how are you" or a "I found a weird thing" on the end. As a matter of fact, ALL single word messages annoy me unless they have something attached to them. Saying "butts", "boop", "ham", "penis" makes me want to spray you with napalm. And don't think adding a second nonsensical word helps you out. "Hi" "penis" and "bagel baby" are all the same shit, just with a picture of their favorite google image search results sticking out of them. What makes me so mad at these is that it forces me to start the conversation that was thrown on me! I could say "Hi" back to a hi message, but I think I've already expressed my feelings for starting a conversation with a singular "hi" haven't I? I'd end up kill myself. I thought I got enough of these "Hi"ers on DeviantART.

And don't RP AT me! I get too many messages I'd classify as sexual harassment that usually involve what people want to do to my characters. Aside from that, I get a lot of unwanted RP attempts. I'm a casual RPer that's nearly incapable of going outside of her comfort zone. I hate sadness. I hate babies. I hate "I'm now a hyper". I hate unreasonable sexual situations. I hate powergaming. I hate unwarranted kisses. I hate bubbles. I hate fighting. I hate bars. I hate diapers. I hate piss. I hate crap. I hate minecraft! People have attempted to do all of these things more than once after I've said "no" or even "nothing to them ever again." The unreasonable sexual situations? That's the worst. *falls from the sky and lands on you accidentally mating with you and blushes* WHAT THE FUCK!!!

You know, now that I've written this much I feel a little better. Weather you read it and like it or not, I don't care. My opinions on these things are out. All I ask is for you to respect them.

[edit] I added the RP thing because of someone that happened to message me right after I posted the journal.

TL;DR
Spend some time reading if you care enough to put this retarded waste of 5 characters in a comment.

Streaming things and stuff. Like otters and dinosaurs and burds. Mostly commission stuff. The other parts are random stuff I decide to draw.

https://picarto.tv/Logtut
https://picarto.tv/Logtut

I don't know what I wanna do, really. Might just draw something about Loggy.

https://picarto.tv/Logtut
https://picarto.tv/Logtut
https://picarto.tv/Logtut

I hardly ever feel up to doing anything, as you all can see, but I keep wanting to do stuff anyway.

I'm waaaay more active on twitter, so, uh... yeah check that out.

https://twitter.com/Logtut

֍That's right. I'm stepping back into my logtut shoes soon.

֍That said, I'm not holding back my temper as much as I usually do, so... careful, I guess. I'll try to put up warnings, "rules" and such to help everyone stay on my good side, but it's up to you to read and follow.

֍NOT DOING ANY ANIMATIONS! Not entirely. I'll animate as I feel up to it. Animating for other people (commissions, trades) is retarded with my skill and tools. Even freakin' icons annoy me if I don't feel like it, so no.

֍Candy isn't my main anymore. I'm gonna be trying to build a character that suites my birth gender and ever growing personality.

֍I'll be selling/auctioning off characters I don't use anymore. I have a lot of one-shot characters that I don't plan on using anymore. Anyone remember Gratis? I sure as ʞɔnɟ don't. I didn't even know I had a mole character!

֍I own a night club called Erring Under and will be doing a lot of YCHs and stuff for it.
What do you mean own a night club?
You do YCHs?
What does Erring Under look like?
Will you actually be doing this?

Erring Under will be where a few of my OCs work.
I'd like to get into the YCH side of commissions because everyone has a good idea of what's going on in them before hand. (plus things get interesting with multiple people)
EU will look kinda like this http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18499796/
llǝH yeah I'll be actually doing this!

֍Also gonna try leaving words of wisdom on my journals.


۞Saying you can't do something may be the only thing stopping you from doing it۞

1) I'm not dead
2) Sorry for my unannounced hiatus
3) I'm continuing my hiatus
4) if you tl;dr this, you must be a very busy and important person in your country.
5) I work at walmart
6) Tell me on this journal if you commissioned me.
7) If there's no money involved, send me a note about it.
8) NUMBER 6 IS VERY IMPORTIANT!
9)  FayM wants me to share that she's doing $5 commissions
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7635061/
10) How many Whales does it take to change the universe? IT'S ALREADY BEEN CHANGED

I'm back home from my Dad's wedding and monstrously sick of cake, candy, cameras, dancing and being social. A good night to be able to relax.

https://picarto.tv/Logtut

As much as I want to work on commissions on Picarto, I don't see it happening unless I turn off my chat, which is one of my main reason for streaming on Picarto.

So
From here on out, I'll be doing commissions almost purely on Join.me if you want to watch me draw it.
I'll send you a link via notes and you can invite people as you wish.
If you don't wanna watch, then ok. I'll just send you an update upon request.
(if you'd rather me do it on Picarto, be warned that it'll take a while longer)
I'm doing this so I can stay focused and get it done as soon as possible.

As for Picarto
I'll draw my own things on Picarto
whether I be doing my own thing or making gifts, fanart, doodles, and every so often I'll work on commissions.
There's just a whole lot less stress with not finishing my own stuff vs not finishing other's stuff

I will definitely be streaming on Picarto at 1pm CEN every day, probably sooner.

I most definitely WILL be enforcing the rules.
I'll give you a nice little warning > kick you from the chat > ban you from the chat
Don't try to get your ban lifted. That only makes it worse.

Commissions have top priority
Personal, Gift and Request are all equal
Doodles are my breaks

As far as the schedule goes for the upcoming week


Burd in a blender


Wotts'n'Candy


Abysmal Candy


Mega Bubbler

And it will not be broken!

Wanna commission me?
Check out these low prices! :D


Alright. This is how you ride the internet.

STEP 1:
You can't. You can't "ride the internet" just like you can't neighbor's dog. The internet takes you for a ride!

STEP 2:
Find a site that turns you off weather it be wall porn, snail porn, women porn it doesn't matter. You can literally point at anything around you and there will be porn about it.

STEP 3!
Make that porn site your website on every account you have. Facebook, Twitter, Google, Youtube, Patreon, everything! If that's not good enough, make it your icon!

STEP 3!
Don't be racist! Be a 3 year-old instead. You'll get more attention if you scream in the microphone when doing anything. Works all the time.

Step Four
Always be angry about everything! If you want a reason to be angry, go to any resturaunt and be angry about how a guy on the internet misspelled resturaunt twice in a row.

STEP 5
Only speak in 7331 5P34K or some other higher form of communication. The internet loves that kinda stuff! It's probably better if you don't speak at all and just use emojis 400% of the time.

Now, if you followed these 6 steps then you did it! \o/ *da-daaaa* Now you can sit back and enjoy that internet ride alone! Ya asshole.

I'm working to get a car and I need to expand my art skills, too, so I'm opening up cheaper commissions!

My Dilemma
For the past few months (almost a year, actually) I've been trying to find a job. Unfortunately it's not getting any better and my living situation is getting worse. I'm currently limited to stores and shops within walking distance of my house because of my family only having 1 car now. I could apply for jobs outside my town, but I don't want to rely on someone to get me to work on time and consistently. I've had pretty bad experiences with others driving me places, including my family. I would much rather buy a car on my own, but that's a good $4000+

I'm ashamed to say that I had only $4.85 in my account, but that's still a start... My goal is at least $1500, which means around 100 commissions

So until I manage to get a car, I'm going to be blazing commissions! They're also pretty low I think, the lowest being $5.

Please make sure to note me

My Prices
$5 -- Silly doodle
No limits. Add whatever you want.

$10 -- Headshot
Drawn from the shoulders up.
Works nice as an icon!

$15 -- Half Body
Drawn from the belly up. Butts are also allowed, because butts.

$20 -- Full Body
Just... Please don't make it complicated...

All are colored.
Shading for the above is $5. Just send me a note if you like shaded things.

I also color any lineart!
$5 -- Color lineart
$10 -- Color and shade lineart

Note me before using one of the links, please.

Adding a character is like getting a second commission (Unless that extra character is one of mine. I'm a freebie)



Even if you can't support me directly, simply spreading this around is support enough.
Thank you!

I'm too tired to do anything except maybe live. I'll be on Telegram @ SunPaws

I'm gonna be changing a few things about how and what I do.

1. I'm going to stop passing out during livestreams.
My set stopping point is 1AM Central Time. This is the most important change.

2. Replacing evasive "no"s with the word NO.
I hate saying no. I would rather stop talking to people than to say no. But now I'm saying NO. This is the most important change.

3. Speeding up Commissions and Request.
Commissions will be finished as closely to the date they were ordered as possible!
Request (when open) will be finished when I can finish them. There isn't much at stake, so it's less important than Commissions. This is the most important change.

4. Role Playing more.
I'm open RPs most of the time. I'll be asking for them when I feel a little better towards RPing. This is the most important change.
Reply more frequently.
RPing and being a human requires I reply in some way. This is the most important change.

5. Comic and Animations Commissions!
I'm bringing comic commissions now. Animations later on. This is the most important change.