I hate myself so much right now. People don't often comprehend what's its like to live with asperger's syndrome.... or with depression and severe anxiety. It often makes very simple task very hard to accomplish. The fear of the unknown is sometimes completely paralyzing... you find yourself just frozen... unable to do anything.

Last week I bought a new computer to replace my current one.... the only thing is once I brought it back home it didn't worked so I will have to return it. The thing is, its been 7 days and I still haven't been able to do that. Every day I tried.... but I just ended up frozen in fear. Today I was going to do it, I put on my coat and prepared myself to go to the shop and return it... but again I froze. I stayed frozen in front of the front door for 2 hours... The stress was just overwhelming... I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I was wrecked with fear... Fear of what? I'm not exactly sure.... fear the unknown, fear of failure and fear of confrontations. I know those fears are unfounded... however no matter how much I try to rationalize my fears I can never break free from them. So yeah, I remained frozen until it was too late to do anything ( the store would be closed at this hour. ) I will try again tomorrow... if I'm unable to do it within the next few days then I will have wasted 575$

This very simple thing which I can't bring myself to do can have huge consequences... I missed my grandmother's funerals a few years ago because I couldn't bring myself to go... I choose to hide instead of facing my problems head on. That's the problem, I have no gut, no courage... I always run from my problem and hide until its over, no matter the consequences. Same thing happened at my high school finals... I was too nervous to even take the finals... I just stayed home, frozen in fear... and then I ran away because I couldn't face my parents.

I still remember what my mother told me when she found out I skipped the finals...

"You're a failure and you'll never achieve anything in life, you don't even deserve to be happy!"

I'm desperately trying to find motivation to write a story right now. I thought it might help if people shared story ideas with me.

Right now I'm looking for story ideas which would feature my milf cougar as the pred:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18810268/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18675659/

Mrs. Baker is an anthro cougar housewife. She could be anywhere from 35 to 50 year old. She is married and could have any number of children. She's playful and flirty, she loves joking around and teasing others. This cougar is also a voracious predator, she strongly believes in the law of the jungle and has no remorse eating and digesting anyone she finds yummy looking. None are safe from her hunger, not even her husband and children.

She is also a practitioner of witchcraft and uses her magic to do lots of neat things! ( Shrinking people, transforming people into food or other things, eating or manipulating souls, hypnotizing or dominating someone's mind ect... )

I know this information is kinda vague, but I wanted to leave it open for people to interpret as they like! So yeah, any kind of ideas if welcomed, nothing is off the table! Don't be afraid to share your ideas even if it seems ridiculous or extreme in any way!

I just can't write anything right now. I lost my grove or whatever... I'm just really not feeling motivated to write anything at all. I'm gonna have to put all commissions and trades on hold for the moment... I just can't get my creativity flowing.

So I guess I'm gonna go on a story hiatus or something. I'm just not feeling it right now. I tried writing but I just can't do it anymore.

I don't know when I'll start writing again...

I love Jacksepticeye, he's one of my favorite let's player <3

For those who are wondering, "I got twisty fresh nipples" is something he say sometimes.

I haven't slept at all the other night... My brain feels like mush right now.

I used to have a medicine that helped me sleep... unfortunately that medicine is no longer covered ( Hurray for our healthcare system! ) and without it I couldn't sleep at all.

And I can't go to sleep now because if I do I'll wake up at like midnight and my sleep schedule will be all fucked up X3 So I have to tough till tonight so that I can go to sleep and wake up at normal hours.

I hate this because I'm too tired to do anything productive and I'm basically loosing my whole day doing nothing. Hurgh...

First of all, happy new year everybody! Best wishes for 2016^^

Its the new year... and I am sick X3 Woke up with a massive headache and a sore throat this morning. I'm guessing I caught it yesterday at the new year's eve party, lots of people in a tight space eating food and sharing bacteria. Its alright, it was worth it to have a good time with my friends.

So in a short amount of time I've received several story commission.

It feels like every time I post a story someone wants to commission me. So for now I'm gonna put all RPing on hold until I'm done with the current stories at least.

Oh gosh, so many stories I wanna write, so little time X3

This little story is a testament to how sad my real life life has become. Today one of my friend was hosting a Christmas party, he had been planning that for almost two weeks... lots of people were invited and lots said they would be there... I was the only one who showed up.

Yep... of all the people invited ( and who actually said they'd be there ) I was the only one who showed up. That's actually pretty sad. Some seemed to have good reasons, others didn't called at all and one person said he couldn't come because he had some cleaning to do... Really? Needless to say, the host was pretty depressed... he was glad I showed up at least. We hanged for a while then went to watch the hateful eight which was pretty good *Nod*

But this some up my real life friendships right now... everybody is distant and no one wants to do anything. Its like everyone just kinda made new friends and left the old ones behind... excepted I haven't made new friends X3 So yeah this is pretty sad.

So today I saw the hateful eight. To be honest I was a bit skeptic about this one at first... But I loved it! I don't think I could spoil this movie even if I wanted to... I wouldn't know what to say to be honest X3 The strongest point of this movie is the suspense and the characters I believe.

Its Tarantino at his most Tarantino-esque for lack of better words... I would almost say this is his best work yet, truly a work of art. It was refreshing after the kinda disapointing new Star Wars X3

So right now I'm on Fur affinity and Eka's portal. I think that is fitting since most of my material is vore and furry related. However as of recently I've been thinking about starting a deviantart account. I mean, more sites means more exposure right? Are there any other sites beside these that I should be on? I'm asking because someone told me there weren't as many people of FA anymore, I don't know if that is true but I have been receiving less comments on FA than I used to get.

Before I used to get more comments on FA rather than Eka's portal but now things have flipped and I receive more comments on aryion... So I'm inclined to believe there are less people on FA.

Nawh, I'm just trolling.

Merry christmas everyone! Or happy holidays if you prefer^^

Okay, so I'm kinda feeling better now. I don't know what happened, recently I just have random moments where I feel extremely depressed >.> It happens suddenly and usually doesn't last very long... I don't know were the fuck this is coming from but it can't be anything good. I'll talk about it with my psychiatrist next time I see him.

I'm feeling extremely down tonight.

I haven't felt that depressed in a long long time. I don't know why I feel this way, maybe its because of the failure of my recent story... I put a lot of effort into that story and the reception has barely been lukewarm. I don't know... I feel so worthless, like I can't do anything of value at all. I hate this feeling so much.

Maybe I'm just being a little bitch... I just really feel worthless right now, like dirt. I hate the holidays... I really do. Everyone is too busy to do anything and I'm left all alone. Having no family to speak of, I'm always alone on christmas.

What hurts the most I think is people who used to be my friends not caring anymore. I don't know... I'm not even sure I'm making sense right now.

Hey there.

I just wanted to remind everyone that the new Niziria vore story is out right now! I worked a fair bunch on it and I think its better than the last one so I would really appreciate any type of comments or criticism anyone might have on it. The story centers around an old friend of Niziria turned rival who comes to challenge the zebra queen. I think I did a good job on it, especially on the relation between the pred and the prey.

You can find the regular version here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18564860/

Or the post-vore scat disposal version here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18565610/

I'm really eager to get some feedback on this story, so far its my least commented on story ever,

Seriously, I'm tired of the freaking rain. Its stopped raining for one day and then it starts again? All this rain is making me depressed X3 Its just raining endlessly...

Okay so me and two of my friends were planning to go see the new Star Wars movie together. We were planning on going saturday, this had been planned for about a month. But then, two days ago one of my friends call me, say he can't go saturday because he has a christmas party thing at that time, so move our plan to sunday. But then, my other friend complains because he works on sunday and want instead to go friday, so we all agree to go friday. But then this morning my other friend calls me tell me he's going to go see it on sunday regardless because there will be too many people of friday. Later that day I call my other friend so that we can go see it together and he said he already saw it, after being told the other guy was going on sunday anyway he said "screw it" and went to see it alone. The a third friend called me to go see it next tuesday.

God X3 This makes my social anxiety flare up.

Its raining right now.

Its been raining for days. Everyday its grey and shitty. Its pretty cold too, right now it is 5 degree celsius outside which is about 40 degree fahrenheit... its very close to freezing temperature but not quite there yet. We should have snow at this time of the year but we don't, instead we have rain, rain and more rain. Its like the weather is trolling me.

I hate when it rains... at least snow isn't wet.

Greetings.

I recently got back into a writing mood, the only problem is I lack ideas for such stories. This is why I want you to give my story ideas and suggestion! It could be anything really, anything that you think of you can tell me. I give no guarantee that I'll do your idea, but it does hurt to try.

Here is what I mostly like to write about:

-Vore.
-Dominant, often mean predator.
-Unwilling preys.
-Digestion.
-Fatality.
-Disposal.

I'm more than willing to step out of my comfort zone if your story idea intrigue me. There isn't any restrictions on what I will write about so don't be afraid to share your most deviant ideas!

Here's a short list of my characters in case any of them gives you ideas:

-Niziria the zebra queen.
-Ceres the dragon goddess.
-Alyson the alligator.
-Lili the dragon succubus.
-Marilyn the teacher.
-Koan the lizard.
-Kernac the dragon.
-And Noe Kernac the abomination.

Thanks for your imput!

Greetings.

I am currently working on a new vore story starring Niziria the zebra queen:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16914424/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17765678/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16842269/

I know a lot of people liked my previous story with her, hopefully this one will be even better! Its going to be about an old friend turned rival who comes to challenge Niziria. Vorish stuff ensues. As always I will be posting a regular version and one with post-vore disposal. It will have lots of teasing and taunting.

I am planning to post the story next sunday on the 20th, it will be my christmas gift to all of you.

Seriously, the music in undertale is absolutely fantastic, just listen to some of those tunes: ( Don't worry, those aren't spoilers)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGaneyDfyls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2jVbSI9H4o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WDFUcjWARU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTy9v9a7Tmo

And that's just a few! Oh god, such epicness <3

This is making me down.

My last three submission have barely gotten any comments at all X3 I know there's a lot of luck involved in getting comments but three times in a row? Seriously, a few months back I would be posting low quality pictures and get like 9 or 10 comments... Now I post a high quality picture and get like 3 comments max, and one or zero comments on a lower quality picture.

I understand that sometimes you don't get a lot of comments, but it seems to always be the case now. Why is this happening? Is it the season? Are people just not leaving comments at this time of the years? It doesn't just seem to be comments either, the views and favorites also seem to be much lower.

This makes me not want to post anything at all... I know I'm being a whiny bitch... sue me X3

Greetings.

For a while now I've been thinking about developing my very own tabletop RPG system. I've also wanted to run a vorish tabletop style game for a long time but I was too timid and unsure of myself to really talk about it. So now I've decided to come out and see who would be interested and maybe get a discussion going on the finer points of the system I had in mind for it.

The system: Basically what I had in mind was a d12 system. Its simple, you roll a d12, add your bonus and then compare it to the difficulty class (DC) to see if you succeed or not. The more difficult something is, the higher the DC you have to beat. If you beat the DC by 5 points or more you get a super success, if you beat it by 10 points or more then you get a mega success ( I know it sounds kinda cheesy, but I couldn't think of how else I could call this X3 ) This also works if you're rolling against an opponent, if you beat him by 5 or more point you get a SS, if you beat him by 10 points or more you get a MS. Exp: If you're attacking someone with a weapon, you roll your attack against his defense, if you get a SS that means you deal extra damage and potentially stun or stagger your opponent, a MS means even more damage! On the opposite end if someone successfully defends with a SS or a MS that means he can counter-attack and potentially deal a lot of damage to you. In a vorish situation, getting a SS or MS on an opposed grapple check could mean you swallowing your opponent much quicker.

A character would have 13 basic attributes:

Agility
Awareness
Constitution
Cunning
Deception
Fighting
Knowledge
Marksmanship
Persuasion
Spellcasting
Stealth
Strength
Willpower

For pretty much anything you would just roll a d12 and add your attribute bonus. Ex: If your strength is +4 you would simply roll a d12+4 for grapple or anything related to strength.

There would be no class, it would be a point buy system. You would start with a pool of point you could spend to increase each attribute individually. Your scores would range from 0 to 6 in most cases, with anything above 6 being extremely strong. You could also spend your points to get feats or spells, each feat or spell would need to be bought individually and would have varying cost. Your HP would be determined by your size and your constitution score, your mana by your Knowledge, Spellcasting and Willpower score. Your movement speed would be derived from your agility. Athletic stuff like climbing or swiming would be determined by either your agility or your strength.

So that's my system idea so far... its only a rough draft and still needs a lot more work but you get the basic idea.

I'm also still unsure of the setting... I was thinking of maybe have a world where humans and anthros coexist, it would be generic fantasy stuff beside that with maybe a bit of steampunk thrown into it... what do you think?

So yeah I want to know who would be interested in joining such a game, and also if anyone has some idea for the system or the setting in general. If enough people are interested then I will continue to work on it and hopefully maybe we would have a game sometimes.

Also, for those who would suggest to do a vore game with an already established system: For me working on the system is part of the fun and it would really make the experience much better for me if I was using my own system.

This is getting ridiculous... when will americans learn that socialized medicine is a good thing?

The simple fact is, socialized medicine is just more efficient then privatized one. Most country who have socialized medicine spent around 9 to 10% of their GDP on healthcare while america currently spend 18% of its GDP on healthcare.

John Green does a better job explaining this than I could ever do so I'll just direct you to him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSjGouBmo0M

"But why should someone have the same benefit as me if they don't work as much as me?"

The question we need to ask here is: is access to healthcare a right or a privilege? Of course people who work more should have more privilege but everyone should have the same rights no matter how much they work. The thing is the majority of the population seems to think access to healthcare is a right and not a privilege.

In conclusion socialized medicine is not only more efficient but its just the right thing to do! I'm tired of hearing stories of people suffering because they don't have access to healthcare.

Hey there.

I recently wrote a vore story and I'm looking for feedback on it! Basically the story is about how it would feel to be eaten and digested by a large snake. The story is told to the 2nd person to give the feeling you are being eaten yourself.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17903937/

I would really appreciate any kind of feedback on it! It might be short but I worked hard to make it feel just right^^

This story was inspired by a clip from a documentary:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2.....tilope_animals


I love that clip^^

Hey there everyone^^

Well its been tough, it took some time but I'm finally feeling good! I feel more than good, I feel great^^ The last few months have been bumpy, the change of anti-depressant really kicked my ass at first. The thing is, anti-depressant take a long time to act... and even longer to reach their full capacity. For a long while I was just feeling kinda "meh" and not being very productive at all... But now I'm starting to live again.

I think I'll be re-posting some of my old art that I deleted when I was depressed. Also I'm working on my stories again!

I just feel great today^^ And I've been feeling good for a while now... My depression is finally over! Now I just hope that I won't have to change anti-depressant again for a while X3

-Kernac.