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General | Posted 12 years agoUpdate on moving my arts and stuff to 
Finally got my estrogen pillz..it feels like a new dawn as of June thirteen of two thousand and thirteen.
I have a long roads ahead of me, but a lot more happiness as wells. Cheers!
Finally got my estrogen pillz..it feels like a new dawn as of June thirteen of two thousand and thirteen.
I have a long roads ahead of me, but a lot more happiness as wells. Cheers!
Male to Female Update
General | Posted 12 years agoWells..two days ago on June 3rd was the official start of my transition.
Me and my wonderful
left for Denver at 3:40 in the morning, with crap for sleep the day before and a 2 hour nap, for a 4 and half hour drives. You hafta love how people drive in a metropolis city as it was "Drive or Die!" style, especially at morning rush.
Everyone is at least 10 miles over the speed limit, minimum, turning their blinker to get in front of you for a millisecond and swerving in that space in front of you the size for one of those tiny egg shaped economy cars. Which it is fun to watch the ones going 30mph over and weaving in and out of cars with no signals.
After the adrenaline rush/peel your claws out of the steering wheel drive, we make it to the doctors place, with only a half hour left for me to actually dress up. Shaving away any stubbles of hair, putting make up on, and putting on a lovely low cut shirt and bra on (which was C cup one for my fake boobies, so it gave me a pair of small lady lumps), all the while in the car.
It was the very first time I actually dressed up in public, wanting to make sure the doctor knows that I am dead serious about my transition. Being a nervous wreck and thinking everyone there being judgmental, especially with my voice still being full out male, as my practice with female voice speaking has been very moot I just decided to speak comfortably..ish.
It was a very..odd and actually delightful experience (for the most part without me still being nervous) as to my surprise, everyone there was very supportive and was even calling me by my female name. (as on the paperworks you need to check mark if you are MTF or what not, and if you have a preferred name then for it)
Even getting in finally for the nurse to check my height and everything, I did not feel judged or stared upon with dirty looks.
After waiting a agonizing half hour and in a slightly more relax state but still very worrisome state (as my greatest fear was the doctor telling me no) the actual doctor shows up. Who still in my delight greeted me with a warm smile and no dirty looks.
She basically then kinda interviewed me, asking me what brought me here to my decision of transition, do I know and fully understand the effects of taking hormone treatment, what my goals are in a few years with it, and a few more questions like that.
We also tolds her we still want to have children and still leading a active sex life, which needing to know, as something I did not knows, there are different types of hormone treatment they can give you that all block testosterone at certain levels.
The one that I will be receiving (And still waitings on the pharmacy to call me to pick it up..) will introduce estrogen into my body to start the process, but will not be blocking testosterone. She is wanting me to look into the cryogenic storing of my sperm first, before giving me the one that starts to block out testosterone.
It was odd at first when she finally asked me if I had any more questions, shook my hand and walked out the door. It did not hit me that finally I will be starting my transition after years of anxiety and depression of it, probably from the sleep deprivation, or the fact I am constantly let down in life. It was not till getting out the door and walking down there was I starting to beam with happiness.
I feel like my shoulders are 10 times lighter now, and I have a lot more confidence, but at the same time that means more major events will be coming soon. As sooner or later I will have to tell my work (which I work in a state where they can fire you for any reason), and tell my family.
I have already told all my friends, and they are all very supportive of its. ^^
If anyone is still reading this, and you live near Denver Colorado and is struggling with a docter for MTF or FTM. Go see http://www.mountainviewfamilyphysicians.org/ and ask to see Anna Wegleitner .
I can say I a much happier nows and can finally take a few extra leaps in my life towards happiness.
Oh! and last update/edit. I will be starting a new profile here within the next week. As I feel like this profile is my old self and I needs one for the actual me. I still plans to keep this one and change it up.
Me and my wonderful
left for Denver at 3:40 in the morning, with crap for sleep the day before and a 2 hour nap, for a 4 and half hour drives. You hafta love how people drive in a metropolis city as it was "Drive or Die!" style, especially at morning rush. Everyone is at least 10 miles over the speed limit, minimum, turning their blinker to get in front of you for a millisecond and swerving in that space in front of you the size for one of those tiny egg shaped economy cars. Which it is fun to watch the ones going 30mph over and weaving in and out of cars with no signals.
After the adrenaline rush/peel your claws out of the steering wheel drive, we make it to the doctors place, with only a half hour left for me to actually dress up. Shaving away any stubbles of hair, putting make up on, and putting on a lovely low cut shirt and bra on (which was C cup one for my fake boobies, so it gave me a pair of small lady lumps), all the while in the car.
It was the very first time I actually dressed up in public, wanting to make sure the doctor knows that I am dead serious about my transition. Being a nervous wreck and thinking everyone there being judgmental, especially with my voice still being full out male, as my practice with female voice speaking has been very moot I just decided to speak comfortably..ish.
It was a very..odd and actually delightful experience (for the most part without me still being nervous) as to my surprise, everyone there was very supportive and was even calling me by my female name. (as on the paperworks you need to check mark if you are MTF or what not, and if you have a preferred name then for it)
Even getting in finally for the nurse to check my height and everything, I did not feel judged or stared upon with dirty looks.
After waiting a agonizing half hour and in a slightly more relax state but still very worrisome state (as my greatest fear was the doctor telling me no) the actual doctor shows up. Who still in my delight greeted me with a warm smile and no dirty looks.
She basically then kinda interviewed me, asking me what brought me here to my decision of transition, do I know and fully understand the effects of taking hormone treatment, what my goals are in a few years with it, and a few more questions like that.
We also tolds her we still want to have children and still leading a active sex life, which needing to know, as something I did not knows, there are different types of hormone treatment they can give you that all block testosterone at certain levels.
The one that I will be receiving (And still waitings on the pharmacy to call me to pick it up..) will introduce estrogen into my body to start the process, but will not be blocking testosterone. She is wanting me to look into the cryogenic storing of my sperm first, before giving me the one that starts to block out testosterone.
It was odd at first when she finally asked me if I had any more questions, shook my hand and walked out the door. It did not hit me that finally I will be starting my transition after years of anxiety and depression of it, probably from the sleep deprivation, or the fact I am constantly let down in life. It was not till getting out the door and walking down there was I starting to beam with happiness.
I feel like my shoulders are 10 times lighter now, and I have a lot more confidence, but at the same time that means more major events will be coming soon. As sooner or later I will have to tell my work (which I work in a state where they can fire you for any reason), and tell my family.
I have already told all my friends, and they are all very supportive of its. ^^
If anyone is still reading this, and you live near Denver Colorado and is struggling with a docter for MTF or FTM. Go see http://www.mountainviewfamilyphysicians.org/ and ask to see Anna Wegleitner .
I can say I a much happier nows and can finally take a few extra leaps in my life towards happiness.
Oh! and last update/edit. I will be starting a new profile here within the next week. As I feel like this profile is my old self and I needs one for the actual me. I still plans to keep this one and change it up.
Free game! (Hint hint, Gordan Sexyman exploiting)
General | Posted 13 years agoAs title saids, Gordan is back..again..ish..and more sexier pixilated than ever!
http://release.blackmesasource.com/
Updated graphics of the first Half-Life, with few changes here and there, for starters, it is free!.
Now if you'll excuse me, I will finish licking the toxic waste graphics. http://www.gatheryourparty.com/wp-c.....9-16_00005.jpg
As well updated profile info, lot shorter and less abrasive.
http://release.blackmesasource.com/
Updated graphics of the first Half-Life, with few changes here and there, for starters, it is free!.
Now if you'll excuse me, I will finish licking the toxic waste graphics. http://www.gatheryourparty.com/wp-c.....9-16_00005.jpg
As well updated profile info, lot shorter and less abrasive.
Random link of the week
General | Posted 13 years agohttp://www.halolz.com/2012/07/23/vi.....oking-tonight/
Working on artz, work, panda release date (ughadfjlkfaj;fkaj...jizz in pants), tits, makeup, and coffee.
Nuff said
Working on artz, work, panda release date (ughadfjlkfaj;fkaj...jizz in pants), tits, makeup, and coffee.
Nuff said
Update on transgender decisions.
General | Posted 13 years agoSou..I have given it much more thought, and read a lot more into it, and asked some people.
Things look promising on it..as everything still tells me to go for it still (even with chance of sterility), and insurance wise is a matter of just staying with my job for couple more months (which looks promising as got ma Reach truck and Forklift license ^^).
My only next step that will help in decision..and kinda being hypocrite..is cross dressing, but!....on a extreme level!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQNWpZ1BFSE this is a dude..if I were to past "her" on the street..I could not tell the difference (will admit the slender body of him helps)
The thought is, to try to achieve this level of cross dressing, where if anyone but I knew see's me..they could not tell I am a dude.
I have looked into as well padded clothing/boobs that can help pull the illusion more off...and if I do! pull it off ( gallons of pics coming out the ass then), then the plan is to try this for months..going out into public as fem.
I feel though that if the illusion can not be pulled off..then I cant see a point as much of doing it (I will look like a deformed walrus mated with a wombat, and the goal is to look into more of what I would! look like..and how I would feel more about it)..as what defines male or female is very color spectremed (seen plenty of chicks who wear guy clothings/no makeup, and guys the same thing ), and it should not be based on what you wear so much as who you are.
My only next question is, I hurd there is a possibility that you do not have to see a psychiatrist for hormone approvement? Gotta look into that a lil bit, as I read some surgey places will not give you augmentation without being approved for..Transgender Disorder (its not really a disorder in my opinion, but what society labels it), and shouldn't doctor and what not have to monitor hormone levels?
Other than that, still free commissions for peeps, if ya want, just note me (in process of uploading gallons of images from sketchbook, as been holding back on putting it on FA for..years?)
and a very merry burrffdah! is coming up as well for me in 4 days (hint hint)
Things look promising on it..as everything still tells me to go for it still (even with chance of sterility), and insurance wise is a matter of just staying with my job for couple more months (which looks promising as got ma Reach truck and Forklift license ^^).
My only next step that will help in decision..and kinda being hypocrite..is cross dressing, but!....on a extreme level!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQNWpZ1BFSE this is a dude..if I were to past "her" on the street..I could not tell the difference (will admit the slender body of him helps)
The thought is, to try to achieve this level of cross dressing, where if anyone but I knew see's me..they could not tell I am a dude.
I have looked into as well padded clothing/boobs that can help pull the illusion more off...and if I do! pull it off ( gallons of pics coming out the ass then), then the plan is to try this for months..going out into public as fem.
I feel though that if the illusion can not be pulled off..then I cant see a point as much of doing it (I will look like a deformed walrus mated with a wombat, and the goal is to look into more of what I would! look like..and how I would feel more about it)..as what defines male or female is very color spectremed (seen plenty of chicks who wear guy clothings/no makeup, and guys the same thing ), and it should not be based on what you wear so much as who you are.
My only next question is, I hurd there is a possibility that you do not have to see a psychiatrist for hormone approvement? Gotta look into that a lil bit, as I read some surgey places will not give you augmentation without being approved for..Transgender Disorder (its not really a disorder in my opinion, but what society labels it), and shouldn't doctor and what not have to monitor hormone levels?
Other than that, still free commissions for peeps, if ya want, just note me (in process of uploading gallons of images from sketchbook, as been holding back on putting it on FA for..years?)
and a very merry burrffdah! is coming up as well for me in 4 days (hint hint)
General advice and opinion on transgender.
General | Posted 13 years agoSou.....to whom reads this..I need some honest opinions or advice. The short versions is...I am in serious thought of changing my real life gender..or most of it at least, plan to keep the cock and balls.
The longer version and detail is..I am not in the least happy with my body...and no I am not talking about being fat or nothing. I weigh around 145lbs (have not checked in a while), 5'5", with some muscle tone to upper torso (blame lifting up 50 pound of bags and bricks at work), and a small gut due to drinkage.
I am in no way unhappy with my facial looks, I even believe I am a dashing rogue (nothing on narcissistic level). However...I am not happy with it being male looking is the issue.
I am bi, but I do not like the male body in any way or form other than the penis. I view the male form as disgusting, blocky and easily out of proportion with any fat distribution, and I feel that way when I look in the mirror.
When it comes to the female figure, I view it beautiful, curvy and supple. With any added fat more evenly distributed across the form (most of the ladies anyways), exemplifying the beauty of the female body, adding more curves and figure.
I wonder many years what it would feel like to have this form, and wonder sometimes if maybe I was not 100% meant for male form.
I do not believe in cross dressing, as my thoughts is that is just make believe, and the male parts show very easily, (that and its the double standards of a male looking like crap in any female clothing :P) and looking at myself would still tell me that is a silly little man dressing up as a woman with no figure to show (and no offense to any other cross dressers out there)
I understand the risks of doing it, ridicules, threats, more than likely disown of my family..basically almost hell on earth..but at this point, I am almost living that dream anyways with what goes on, with the only thing going right in my life is my very lovely and supporting beauty . (Who she supports is very much so)
I am desiring any advice, opinions, or hell even a shout out would be chill. I have down some research on the internet, but would like a bit more, if anyone cares to say.
At this point though in life..If I want to live my other dream then, and I am hoping that this dream can support my trans dream, I need to pull my head out of my ass, and start draaaaawing moar!
The goal is minimum a sketch a day, with practice figure's as well mixed in. I apologize for any birthdays or requests not getting drawn in, my only advice is beat me slightly on the head with a bottle of jack :P. Just bug me a little bit about it (nothing excruciating course as it is free art), so any drawing requests is welcomed, like a blind fat black guy at a watermelon eating contest :P .
My goal with drawing is for it to be able to pull in some income in the future, and just be a betterer Artist in general, as my long term goal is to be a concept artist/3d animation. As well give this some more thought, and have a answer within less of a year.
And if anything, this could be a quick chat for any other furs/scales/hoomans/birds/whateva.. to come in, who also have a nearish dilemma of the issue.
The longer version and detail is..I am not in the least happy with my body...and no I am not talking about being fat or nothing. I weigh around 145lbs (have not checked in a while), 5'5", with some muscle tone to upper torso (blame lifting up 50 pound of bags and bricks at work), and a small gut due to drinkage.
I am in no way unhappy with my facial looks, I even believe I am a dashing rogue (nothing on narcissistic level). However...I am not happy with it being male looking is the issue.
I am bi, but I do not like the male body in any way or form other than the penis. I view the male form as disgusting, blocky and easily out of proportion with any fat distribution, and I feel that way when I look in the mirror.
When it comes to the female figure, I view it beautiful, curvy and supple. With any added fat more evenly distributed across the form (most of the ladies anyways), exemplifying the beauty of the female body, adding more curves and figure.
I wonder many years what it would feel like to have this form, and wonder sometimes if maybe I was not 100% meant for male form.
I do not believe in cross dressing, as my thoughts is that is just make believe, and the male parts show very easily, (that and its the double standards of a male looking like crap in any female clothing :P) and looking at myself would still tell me that is a silly little man dressing up as a woman with no figure to show (and no offense to any other cross dressers out there)
I understand the risks of doing it, ridicules, threats, more than likely disown of my family..basically almost hell on earth..but at this point, I am almost living that dream anyways with what goes on, with the only thing going right in my life is my very lovely and supporting beauty
. (Who she supports is very much so)I am desiring any advice, opinions, or hell even a shout out would be chill. I have down some research on the internet, but would like a bit more, if anyone cares to say.
At this point though in life..If I want to live my other dream then, and I am hoping that this dream can support my trans dream, I need to pull my head out of my ass, and start draaaaawing moar!
The goal is minimum a sketch a day, with practice figure's as well mixed in. I apologize for any birthdays or requests not getting drawn in, my only advice is beat me slightly on the head with a bottle of jack :P. Just bug me a little bit about it (nothing excruciating course as it is free art), so any drawing requests is welcomed, like a blind fat black guy at a watermelon eating contest :P .
My goal with drawing is for it to be able to pull in some income in the future, and just be a betterer Artist in general, as my long term goal is to be a concept artist/3d animation. As well give this some more thought, and have a answer within less of a year.
And if anything, this could be a quick chat for any other furs/scales/hoomans/birds/whateva.. to come in, who also have a nearish dilemma of the issue.
Dead....
General | Posted 13 years agoNot big suprise (insert Heavy russian voice)
Buuuuuuurrrffffff daaaaaaaah!!!
General | Posted 14 years ago is her buuuurffdaaah todaaah, so go wishes her a happeh burfdah!Free artz and lovings
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2755039/ Go check it out bucket of cheeses
So I hate drawing...
General | Posted 14 years agoand many things to put it simple/no need to read further.
On the who gives a shit part....I cant stand to draw nowa days...every time I attempt to work the wonders of creating everything out of nothing, I begin to hate more and more of trying to draw, and become more angry at myself, and is to the point unless I can get the drawing down to a Picasso off the bat and I'm satisfied with the look, I hate it, and will drop working on it and art for the moment, or for days and weeks.
It is not to say that I have not retried/fixing something that doesn't work or does not look right..but when an attempt of 12 times or more at something that does not look right occurs..it is very disheartening, and self esteem goes right out the fucking window, and especially when something as simple as sketching/inking takes more than 8 hours.
It becomes more shameful when my trade for
hasn't even been passed the coloring stage and effort to finish it is held back by this stagnate.
As well with life going around shoving my kidneys up my nasal passage, with high hope roommates turning into regrets, no money/real job (I'm working for event center for concerts and shit, but only reason I even got the job is with my mother pulling some strings with the city as she is the city's engineer, and at most work I get is once a month for one or couple days of work), and being shot down left and right on trying to find work (how the fuck is someone not qualified to do a job that a down syndromed monkey is capable of doing in their sleep of stocking boxes at wal-mart world).
As well as my wonderful kietress not happy at all with her job...I rarely see her anymore, and the days she has off, and the time together are very fleeting..It is getting to the point of her breaking down at work because of the bullshit she has to deal with..and there is no way around of just quitting...cause no work means to die and lose in this anal seepage of a life that society has built..and we are both at complete lost of what to do in order to improve our lives..as either we are enslaved by society standards and drown in our hatred, we die, or go out and forge a bunch of rocks out in the mountains and call it home.
On the who gives a shit part....I cant stand to draw nowa days...every time I attempt to work the wonders of creating everything out of nothing, I begin to hate more and more of trying to draw, and become more angry at myself, and is to the point unless I can get the drawing down to a Picasso off the bat and I'm satisfied with the look, I hate it, and will drop working on it and art for the moment, or for days and weeks.
It is not to say that I have not retried/fixing something that doesn't work or does not look right..but when an attempt of 12 times or more at something that does not look right occurs..it is very disheartening, and self esteem goes right out the fucking window, and especially when something as simple as sketching/inking takes more than 8 hours.
It becomes more shameful when my trade for
hasn't even been passed the coloring stage and effort to finish it is held back by this stagnate.As well with life going around shoving my kidneys up my nasal passage, with high hope roommates turning into regrets, no money/real job (I'm working for event center for concerts and shit, but only reason I even got the job is with my mother pulling some strings with the city as she is the city's engineer, and at most work I get is once a month for one or couple days of work), and being shot down left and right on trying to find work (how the fuck is someone not qualified to do a job that a down syndromed monkey is capable of doing in their sleep of stocking boxes at wal-mart world).
As well as my wonderful kietress not happy at all with her job...I rarely see her anymore, and the days she has off, and the time together are very fleeting..It is getting to the point of her breaking down at work because of the bullshit she has to deal with..and there is no way around of just quitting...cause no work means to die and lose in this anal seepage of a life that society has built..and we are both at complete lost of what to do in order to improve our lives..as either we are enslaved by society standards and drown in our hatred, we die, or go out and forge a bunch of rocks out in the mountains and call it home.
Free team fotress 2
General | Posted 14 years agoForever..and ever...and ever...check it! http://www.teamfortress.com/freetoplay/
meh...
General | Posted 14 years agoPain has died down at least...just need to figure other things out now..and not murder a box of orphans in the process.
bah....
General | Posted 14 years agoSigh....rant and bullshit/whining and whatnot...
Sitting here tipsy, trying to enjoy shots of jack, about to head to bed with major depression hitting me again...
Cant even look at art barely anymore now....I just get..sad and what not...seeing how I have lost all will and ways to draw anymore..as drawing is only thing I have going for my life...but that is not even going anywhere anymore..especially way things are going..
I dont even have will to pick up pen or pencil..cause everytime I do try, it either gets me pissed off or makes me more depressed..everything i draw turns to shit..cant get anything looking right..or just even passible enough to my eyes, and I try looking at tutoriouls and what not, just all leading up to bullshit, and not helping...
At this point..my only solitude and escape is video games (an d my wonderful kietress, who i prolly go murder a box of orphens and blow my brains out by now if not for her)..only means to deal with shit in my head, other life bullshit that goes on and repeatly kicks me in the ovaries (cant find fucking job, family related issues, all around depression, money going down drain and only reason surviving is cause of borrows from others)
Pain not helping either with wisdom teeth extraction, and throw in a god damn dry socket to boot, with only jack and my kietress at my side to ease the pain from that....
Not sure why I bother with this too..no one reads or gives a shit....and others prolly have more bullshit to deal with...
Just pissed off at everything, expecially at myself cause I cant do anything for my god damn self, have to rely on family members just to fucking survive, and god damn all around better sister my parents (one side of my family), looks up more too, who has gotten 80 fucking miles ahead in life (completed college, getting married to australian dude, and getting married in australia, going back to college to do something else, has a job and the fucking works, and I have to compare to this shit and get to deal with it from my real mom side of family and god damn christian self....................
Want to cry but it is all welted up and will not come out...and no reason for some whiny ass lil bitch for me too when everyone else has more problems than I have...just tired...and yet that will not conselate me as my fucking body refuses to let me get a good nights rest....ever...I have yet to have a good nights rest...in years....I dont really remember how a good night sleep is...and to top off..the charity insurange I am getting from my parents is gonna be gone soon, so I cant fucking go see what the fuck is wrong with me... now..and i was looking forward to it...just waiting for a fucking job so I could see what the fuck is wrong with me, but that is not happening anymore.....Im crying and im going to bed and cuddle up with my only conselation and love...
Sitting here tipsy, trying to enjoy shots of jack, about to head to bed with major depression hitting me again...
Cant even look at art barely anymore now....I just get..sad and what not...seeing how I have lost all will and ways to draw anymore..as drawing is only thing I have going for my life...but that is not even going anywhere anymore..especially way things are going..
I dont even have will to pick up pen or pencil..cause everytime I do try, it either gets me pissed off or makes me more depressed..everything i draw turns to shit..cant get anything looking right..or just even passible enough to my eyes, and I try looking at tutoriouls and what not, just all leading up to bullshit, and not helping...
At this point..my only solitude and escape is video games (an d my wonderful kietress
, who i prolly go murder a box of orphens and blow my brains out by now if not for her)..only means to deal with shit in my head, other life bullshit that goes on and repeatly kicks me in the ovaries (cant find fucking job, family related issues, all around depression, money going down drain and only reason surviving is cause of borrows from others)Pain not helping either with wisdom teeth extraction, and throw in a god damn dry socket to boot, with only jack and my kietress at my side to ease the pain from that....
Not sure why I bother with this too..no one reads or gives a shit....and others prolly have more bullshit to deal with...
Just pissed off at everything, expecially at myself cause I cant do anything for my god damn self, have to rely on family members just to fucking survive, and god damn all around better sister my parents (one side of my family), looks up more too, who has gotten 80 fucking miles ahead in life (completed college, getting married to australian dude, and getting married in australia, going back to college to do something else, has a job and the fucking works, and I have to compare to this shit and get to deal with it from my real mom side of family and god damn christian self....................
Want to cry but it is all welted up and will not come out...and no reason for some whiny ass lil bitch for me too when everyone else has more problems than I have...just tired...and yet that will not conselate me as my fucking body refuses to let me get a good nights rest....ever...I have yet to have a good nights rest...in years....I dont really remember how a good night sleep is...and to top off..the charity insurange I am getting from my parents is gonna be gone soon, so I cant fucking go see what the fuck is wrong with me... now..and i was looking forward to it...just waiting for a fucking job so I could see what the fuck is wrong with me, but that is not happening anymore.....Im crying and im going to bed and cuddle up with my only conselation and love...
Jack and pools of blood goodness
General | Posted 14 years ago
is done now, now onto bigger and better things :D...like bottle of Jack Danials over thar.*sips on jack* but anyways, working down the list of requests.
I will say this for future ones, I may or may not put as much work in each one, I apologize ahead but it all depends on motivation/inspiration and what not. That and going to be a dick here but, these are requests and I could draw a circle and be done with it, but I want to push myself on these and try not be to be that douche.
I will attempt to keep them around same level but see how that goes.
Other notes, Portal 2 is coming out (and have that bad boy pre-ordered months ago when money was spewing over a bablin brook with a hint of lemon), still looking for work so I can help save up with
so she can come with me to Australia to my sister's wedding. (and not left alone for 2 weeks, and wearing dapper finery while murdering boxes of orphans)
has $20 to his name for the whole month, is coughing out her brains as our old apartment mold has followed us (luckily only the spores so far...if you can call that luck.Getting trashed tomorrow with a old friend who is paying the tab to boot :D
Bring it! (free requests_
(thought process)
open (_)
Backness
General | Posted 15 years agoMade it (mostly) okay now, and have (mostly)internet going and have (mostly of crap) stuff organized here living with my parents..again... at least I have my with me, and a huge ass room which we can get (mostly) our stuff in, now onto job huntingz and (mostly) back to commissions :D
Bring it!
(In colorage)
with me, and a huge ass room which we can get (mostly) our stuff in, now onto job huntingz and (mostly) back to commissions :DBring it!
(In colorage)*insert witty neon lights* "Free Commisions
General | Posted 15 years agoDas right..to try to kick my self in the ass into drawing, I will be giving out free commissions.
So onto punching myself in the ovaries by working with programs I have a little grasp about, looking at my artwork and cringing at how I am a hack, and to give all the kool kids free artz.
And on a side note, will be moving with my lovely Kietress (which has a bufffffday coming up mmmmmmmtomorrow) back down with my lovely obsessed parents, within the next week. So if any come in, I will go out and fight a Polar bear with nothing but a bottle of jack at my side for the artz..or so I say.
Bring it
So onto punching myself in the ovaries by working with programs I have a little grasp about, looking at my artwork and cringing at how I am a hack, and to give all the kool kids free artz.
And on a side note, will be moving with my lovely Kietress
(which has a bufffffday coming up mmmmmmmtomorrow) back down with my lovely obsessed parents, within the next week. So if any come in, I will go out and fight a Polar bear with nothing but a bottle of jack at my side for the artz..or so I say.Bring it
New year of better resolutions
General | Posted 15 years agoJust trying to figure out some better art editing programs than Photoshop Elements, as one of my resolutions is to actually bring my art level way up to the point where I can even bring in a slight income from it as I am grievly tired of these bullshit day time jobs, and shitty excuses to not force myself to draw.
Which tho requires a better job in the first place so I do not come home and murder a box of orphans, and sit on ma butt whining about it and playing vidja games without much as a effort to sketch that day.
Which tho requires a better job in the first place so I do not come home and murder a box of orphans, and sit on ma butt whining about it and playing vidja games without much as a effort to sketch that day.
Herp a derp
General | Posted 15 years agoWorking on dem sketchbooks, and 7 days of work in a row, too da loo hoooooooooooo......
Merp
OH and on dem New Vegas game. Going to be looking into the Blender program to actual create things for said game universe. I R tired of waitingeth for people to make with the doing of interesting races (only ones is burmecians, renamon and starfox/crystal for it..das it). That and possible other mods for said game (cool idea of more ability's to use with RADs)
Mainly, I want to use lil more variation on abilitys of killing shit, as seeing how the only main thing is to either pew pew, smack smack, or explosions. (mind you thats all shits and giggles, but wouldn't mind a lil more variation). One idea was to give you the ability like the glowing ones do, when they explode into radiation, or to even expel a ball of it or a goo nature that slowly eats people away...course how to program that into V.A.T.S is on whole other playground...
Merp
OH and on dem New Vegas game. Going to be looking into the Blender program to actual create things for said game universe. I R tired of waitingeth for people to make with the doing of interesting races (only ones is burmecians, renamon and starfox/crystal for it..das it). That and possible other mods for said game (cool idea of more ability's to use with RADs)
Mainly, I want to use lil more variation on abilitys of killing shit, as seeing how the only main thing is to either pew pew, smack smack, or explosions. (mind you thats all shits and giggles, but wouldn't mind a lil more variation). One idea was to give you the ability like the glowing ones do, when they explode into radiation, or to even expel a ball of it or a goo nature that slowly eats people away...course how to program that into V.A.T.S is on whole other playground...
Sad pandas around
General | Posted 15 years agoAnd everyone it seems these days.
Lost his job and is close to living in a box.
Having issues of getting disability and other things in general
Lost his job and other around bs
And me
and having money issues as well. My job hours vary the fuck out of how close a peanut jar is to a black hole. While 11thpillars hours are out the fucking window (they want to make her quit by reducing her hours), while of not having any luck of finding another said job.
And finally having major artist lazyness while having several other arts that need to be done for several people being held off. I understand its a self motivation issue, and just need to slap my self with a raging toaster to get me goin, but its hard when life is trying to insert its foot up your kidneys.
Would greatly appreciate if peeps can go commish , as we both desperatly need help (nothing is more groveling than having to ask family members for the little green thing that makes the world go round).
I am willing as well to do a free quick sketch for anyone to commish 11thpillar, send me a note and ill compare with her commish que.
This way it may help with my lazyness of arts, and help us as well.
Lost his job and is close to living in a box.
Having issues of getting disability and other things in general
Lost his job and other around bsAnd me
and having money issues as well. My job hours vary the fuck out of how close a peanut jar is to a black hole. While 11thpillars hours are out the fucking window (they want to make her quit by reducing her hours), while of not having any luck of finding another said job. And finally having major artist lazyness while having several other arts that need to be done for several people being held off. I understand its a self motivation issue, and just need to slap my self with a raging toaster to get me goin, but its hard when life is trying to insert its foot up your kidneys.
Would greatly appreciate if peeps can go commish
, as we both desperatly need help (nothing is more groveling than having to ask family members for the little green thing that makes the world go round).I am willing as well to do a free quick sketch for anyone to commish 11thpillar, send me a note and ill compare with her commish que.
This way it may help with my lazyness of arts, and help us as well.
Needz some help
General | Posted 15 years agohttp://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:14630373
Just a simple fur needing lil helps, even a basic sketch will do for them, as well, bracelets for rewards!..I thinks..
Oh and watch the drama, seems to be dripping everwhere
Just a simple fur needing lil helps, even a basic sketch will do for them, as well, bracelets for rewards!..I thinks..
Oh and watch the drama, seems to be dripping everwhere
Needz more porn
General | Posted 15 years agoChangin da journalness
Free porn!!..I mean pinup...and panties...yum
General | Posted 15 years agoYerp, as the title saids a free pinup job of *insert character here* for all you kiddies over 18 or over :D....for one person :3...out of every 10 people/furrys who do it....DO IT NAU
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1664296 <----Journalness
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1664296 <----Journalness
Sccccrap
General | Posted 15 years agoThink ill just post bunch of stuff that i started on and never finished (huzzaw that I do draw), most of this is from breaks at work, so expect to see a flow into the scrap yard of my scrapsness. Hopefully this will get me lil more into the flow of drawing.
Bahness
General | Posted 15 years agoNeed to find a way to get my ass in gear again and get it on the drawing train.
Seriously been slacking, but doesn't help that I have almost no motivation to draw when life is trying to make me a sad panda and work is kicking me in the kidneys. Hopefully somethin will happen to cure this.
Seriously been slacking, but doesn't help that I have almost no motivation to draw when life is trying to make me a sad panda and work is kicking me in the kidneys. Hopefully somethin will happen to cure this.
Starcraft 2, yum
General | Posted 15 years agoPlaying Stacraft 2 these days...cant get away..need ma crack, horrible person now not getting drawings done..or been...*"nuclear launch detected"*
