Well, I've got news on my dad's surgery.... It was a success! :D

The surgery itself was simple enough, in the surgeon's opinion. He said the hip came out easily enough, and will a minimal loss of blood. Though, he did note that my dad's hip was in very bad shape, and was in dire need of replacement.

The replacement operation itself lasted for about 1 hour, with an additional hour given for the anesthesia to wear off. Dad didn't have too much to say about the procedure, as he had been injected with a dose of Valium before going into surgery, and was given an epidural of morphine just as it was being completed.

My family and I spent all day at the hospital, waiting for him to get out of surgery, and then waiting at his bedside. To say it was the longest wait I ever went through would be an understatement. And to think that I'm going to be repeating that wait for an additional three times in the near future...


P.S.

If you thought hospital food is horrible, then you've never tried hospital coffee! The stuff I had was like burnt syrup!

You may remember me mentioning something a while back about my dad in need of his replacement surgery. Well, after several doctor visits, complete physicals, and extensive testing, he's been green-lit to get his right hip replaces. It's been scheduled for tomorrow at 10 am, down in Evansville. He's supposed to be there at 8:15 am for check-in and standard pre-surgery preparations.

The operation itself should last 2 hours to 3 hours. The surgeons will be going in, cleaning his hip joint, and replacing the ball and socket with prosthetic ones. Afterwards, they're going to keep him for about 4 days observation and initial therapy.

It goes without saying that the family will be there at the hospital while Dad's having the surgery. Not that any of us would miss giving him the much needed support. He's been there for us, now it's time for us to be there for him...

I know this has been done before by so many furs, but I just want to wish everyone a safe and merry Christmas. Don't drink too much of that spiked eggnog, and let others do the driving if you have a few more than you should. Take care on the roads if you're driving, and try watching out for ice and idiot drivers. As for myself, I'm keeping away from the kitchen this year. No need to burn another turkey or dry out another ham when there are others that are better skilled at using the oven...

For the past several years I and others have been working on a world building project for  chakat-fleetfoot known as “The Veil of Shadows: Chronicles of Ashara.” Like almost everything I get involved with, I have become somewhat obsessed with this series.

To be brief, The Veil of Shadows is a text-based fantasy RPG that has existed as a Yahoo! Group for the past five years or so. The story that the series tells takes place on a world called “Ashara” where Beastmen – intelligent anthropomorphic animals – dominate a Dungeons & Dragons inspired universe where Humans, Elves, and other standard “intelligent” fantasy races clearly being the population minority. That is not to say Ashara is not also populated by the great variety of monsters and other creatures that one thinks of when it comes to the fantasy genre; there are enough trolls, ogres, orcs, ettins, ents, sprites, unicorns, rocs, etc. to give the inhabitance of Ashara more than enough grief. Like any good fantasy series magic permeates the Veil of Shadows, with wizards, sorcerers, witches, and mages a common occurrence to the point of an entire nation being built around the practice of the arcane arts.

Storywise, The Veil of Shadows features a singular main story, and gives the option of allowing player character stories to develop independently of the main plot. The main story itself revolves around the resurgence of an individual called the “Warlock King.” Once a mighty and beloved king, a seething darkness wormed its way into his heart and mind, causing him and his kingdom of Malcora to become a twisted and utterly corrupt version of their former selves. When his power waxed its fullest, the Warlock King loosed his armies upon Ashara. For many years the forces of Malcora laid siege to the nations it had once called friend and ally, conquering and pillaging as army after army fell to its might. In what seemed a desperate act, an individual known only as the “Last King” mustered together the scattered remnants of Ashara’s nations, instilling into them the courage and fortitude that had been lacking since the first years of the war. Through determined perseverance the newly formed alliance drove back Malcora’s black tide to the very gates of the tower citadel of Mol Tolroc. It was there that the Last King faced the Warlock King in single combat, and won, banishing the corrupted king from Ashara for what all thought was an eternity. However, eight thousand years would pass to prove this long held belief wrong. In the early years of the 4th Era the Warlock King returned with a vengeance. As his forces begin their march upon the world, a group of adventurers must seek to reestablish the Old Alliance long since abandoned to the winds of time. The party’s quest to reunite Ashara will not be an easy one, as many factors are rushing to ensure that they do not succeed…

With that said, recently I was struck with an idea while working on some of my own writing projects. "Why not do something beneficial for the group?” So, I’ve began putting together a series of source books modeled after those from the famous "Dungeons & Dragons" pen & paper RPG series. There are a number of books I have planned, including a guide for Ashara’s monsters, its deities, and even intelligent races (the last of which I’m currently working on.)

If you’re interested in finding out more about The Veil of Shadows, send a note to  chakat-fleetfoot; I’m sure shi will be more than glad to inform you on hir series. If you’re interested in checking out the group itself, head on over to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Veil-.....les-of-Ashara/ and take a look. If you want to know more about the source books I’m working on then send me a note with your questions.

About a week ago I got a letter in the mail from the Social Security Administration notifying me of a phone interview on Wednesday the 12th. It didn't really explain what the interview was about, only that it would be a review of my SSI benefits. When Wednesday afternoon rolled around I got a call from the SSA. Come to find out it was, as they put it, a "non-medical review of my supplemental security status."

The interview last somewhere around 20 minutes. Most of the time was spent checking and double checking my monthly income, if I currently had a bank account, if I was still living with my parents, etc. When asked if I was paying rent, I said "yes" - about $300 a month- for the past 3 months. Other than that, nothing else has really changed. So, you could imagine my surprise when I was informed that since I was paying rent that I was due an increase in my SSI benefits. Instead of the $460 I've been getting, I will now be getting around $750 a month. Even more, those payments are going to be retroactive all the way back to October 1st.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. To be entirely honest, I hadn't planned on reporting the change in my living status until I had the recites and written rental agreement to prove it. With my past experience, the SSA is a big stickler when it comes to paperwork and proof of paperwork.

The only bad thing about this increase is that it will most likely not arrive in my bank account until January 1st; several days too late for Christmas shopping. That, and I'll most likely be going off foodstamps, but still, I get a raise. =^w^=

Well, another year has gone by for me. A lot has happened, and a lot has been said. See, today was by birthday - I'm now 26, and it's been a pretty good birthday for me, if not being rather atypical.

The day started out with waking up early, and tuning my television onto the Scooby Doo marathon Cartoon Network's Boomerang channel was showing. My breakfast was some rather stale doughnuts my mom picked up at the store yesterday. Shortly thereafter, I was given my gifts: my brother got me Prometheus and the entire Alien anthology by Ridley Scott on Bluray, mom and dad bought me a Sony Bluray player with an HDMI cable. Just as I was about to hook up the player, I was informed that dinner and a movie were included. So, about an hour later, I find myself at the local AMC theater watching Hotel Transylvania, which, oddly enough, is the perfect movie to watch on one's birthday as it revolves around the (1)18th birthday of Dracula's daughter and the chaos caused by the appearance of a Human at a "Monsters Only" hotel. After the movie, we headed out to the local barbecue restaurant "Dogwood" only to find that they're closed Sundays; so, I opted for one of my favorite dishes - homemade burritos, which I ate while watching Prometheus. Cake followed afterwards, it being a Holy Cow Cake with semi-sweet chocolate chips. As of right now, I'm reclined back in my chair, stuffed with beans, steak, and chocolate cake, watching The New Scooby Doo Movies on Boomerang. And to think that all I had planned for today was work on my latest MLCAD project; go fig'...

Well, I just spent all day going through my Scraps, weeding out the crap that I no longer feel the need to hang onto. If you missed out on the submissions I deleted, then I'm sorry, but I have no intentions of re-uploading them; you may be lucky, and find them over on my DeviantART gallery, but that may be a long shot...

It's rather unusual for me to make two journal entries in the same week, let alone on the same day just minutes right after another. However, I felt that this update deserved its own.

Earlier this week I got a phone-call from the my area's Social Security office. I was initially surprised to hear from them, as all my correspondence for my Disability claim had been through the mail. However, my surprised became shock as I was informed that my claim had gone through, and that I was now officially disabled as far as the United States government was concerned. I was informed that my SSI benefits will begin this coming September, and will be between $400 U.S. and $500 U.S. a month, not including the back-pay check already sent to me. However, I was not entirely informed on why I was classified as disabled, but I believe it was a combination of my mental illnesses and the weekly migraines I have been getting since I was a child.

It's an odd feeling, knowing that I will have money for the first time in five years. I don't know if I should feel anxious, nervous, joyful, or relieved. There's just so much I can do now, from helping pay the household bills, to paying on my student loan, to actually buying Christmas presents with money I didn't have to borrow...

I've got good news, and I got bad news. The good news is that I finally have home access to the internet. The bad news is that it's a shared dial-up connection.

While I was off the grid, I came to the conclusion that the Internet is like religion. If you've been successful in life, and lived by their laws, the Internet Gods will grant you untold connection speeds and a download limit you'll never be able to use up as long as you live. If you have been disloyal and disobedient, they will punish you by sending you to dial-up Hell, where you must suffer until you are ready to repent, and accept one of their monthly plan contracts. If you choose to turn away from them, then you are sent to Internet Limbo where you must suffer without an internet connection until you become a believer, all the while being forced to rely on television, papers, magazines, and actual face-to-face conversations to get the latest news and information. To say that the Internet Gods are fickle when it your internet beliefs is an understatement...

It's been some time since I was last on FA, and a lot longer since I last made a journal post. I thought it was about time to update everyone on what's going on.

To make this brief, I have no home internet. In an attempt to "optimize" our home network, Verizon put my house's internet onto a phone plan. The plan only allows for a 5gig download per week, and only has 400 minutes worth of talk time. Considering how much me and my family use the internet for viewing webpages, watching videos, and saving images, such a plan only allows for a few days worth of use.

as a result of Verizon's screw-up, we're no longer using Verizon for for our internet provider. Considering that no other internet provider is willing to come out to where we live, we're stuck with no internet... We have no plans on using Dial-Up.

Luckily, I'm not totally without options. Mom recently rented an office in town, and it has high-speed internet provided by AT&T. That means I will have limited contact with everyone through e-mail and FA notes.

If you have Verizon as your internet as your internet provider, the best thing I can tell you is to drop them and find another company...

Well, I've got bad news and not-so-bad news.

I'll start with the not-so-bad-news first. Earlier today my mom got back from the an appointment with her neurosurgeon concerning the recent neck pain and body weakness she's been experiencing. Seems she's got three bulging disks in her neck; one of which is severely herniated. (Ya, that's the good news.)

The bad news is that she's in of surgery to correct them. Beyond going in and taking out the disks and fusing the vertebra, they also plan on buffing out the spurs that have developed due to a medium case of arthritis. The surgery itself with be extremely expensive, costing upwards of $3,000 or more; that's not including the costs of rehabilitation, steroids, antibiotics, and painkillers.

To say we're between a rock and a hard place is an understatement...

Wtf?

I just spent the last three to four days clearing out my Watching list for the first time in six year. I was watching over eight hundred different member galleries. What the hell was I doing watching that many people? Did I get +Watch happy or something? Seriously, over half of them were no longer part of Fur Affinity, and a good percentage just didn't have art I liked anymore.

So, yeah. Looks like I got to keep a better eye on who I +Watch from now on. No way in hell I want to go through that process again...

Just to let everyone know – the following is not an update, but a statement.

Last night I was watching the new season of "Worst Cooks in America" on the Cooking Channel, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The contestants were without hope or a clue. One woman was using kitchen shears (that's a type of heavy-duty scissor used for meats and opening bags) in place of a knife as she cut up peppers and onions. Another woman didn't know the difference between "baking powder" and "baking soda." A third contestant couldn't figure out if she had put her wet ingredients in with her dry when she hadn't even gotten the milk out of the refrigerator. I understand that they were nervous – being on television and under the judging eye of Bobby Flay and Anne Berrell can do that to a person – but I cannot help but feel embarrassed for them.

I myself cannot imagine not being able to cook. My parents made sure I could feed myself from an early age. Some of my early memories of cooking are making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I cannot even begin to imagine not being able to cook my Saturday/Sunday dinners, or surprise my parents with one of their favorite dishes for their birthdays as well as their anniversary. Being a person that favors homemade foods to store-bought meals (well, most of the time) I love being able to whip up a scratch-made lunch or dinner from the simplest ingredients. With that said, I cannot begin to imagine not being able to cook. I admit I may not be a chef, let alone a good cook, but I am extremely thankful for being able to cook flavorful meals that do not include a fire extinguisher.

Well, I've been approved for food-stamps. I got my card in the mail yesterday. The limit on it is going to be $200 a month, and will be renewed every 5th of the month. While that's not enough to live on when one considered today's food prices, it is enough to get the food I want without having to ask my parents if they got the cash to cover my meals along with their own. However, that limit will be increased if and when I ever get my own place, and move out.

Now, the main problem is choosing the munchies I want to buy with my new-found funds...

For those people that know me they know that my life sucks. Now, it's not the kind of "my parents don't understand me" or "I don't have enough money" kind of suck. It's more along the lines of "25, medically disabled, living with my parents with no resources left whatsoever" kind of suck.

You see, I'm screwed eight-ways to Sunday. I have a list of medical problems a mile long - life-threatening allergies, mental illnesses, a faulty knee, weekly migraines, etc. I've been out of work for the past five years or so because my doctors say I'm disabled. For those five years I've been trying to SSI Disability, but I've have been denied at every turn. Because of my status as disabled I can't work, and am forced to live with my parents. Because of this I have no cash flow whatsoever; the things that I do get are bought for me by my parents. (I know, at 25 it's embarrassing as hell to be still totally dependent on your parents, but that's how bad off I am.) I hope to change that.

Yesterday I went to the local Welfare Office. Accompanied by an authorized representative from the Samaritan Center I applied for Medicaid and Food-stamps. It may have taken the better part of the day to compile all my information, if losing a day to paperwork is all it takes to stand on my own two feet again then I'm okay with it. With a little lock and a lot of praying maybe, just maybe, I'll finally have that chance to succeed again...

This isn't a major update, but I felt I needed to get this out.

For the past five years now I've been using Verizon Wireless as my internet provider. For the first few years it was great. The speed at which it ran was incredible compared to local Dial-Up I used to have. I still remember being amazed at the speed World of Warcraft could run once unleashed upon my new home network. Websites would load in a matter of seconds, and not minutes. I could finally delve into the experience that was Youtube and streaming music.

Within the last year or so I upgraded to Verizon 3G Highspeed Internet thinking it would be a major improvement from what I already had. At first it was great - everything was faster than I could dream. However, half-way through I noticed that my internet was gradually slowing down. I couldn't figure out why. I cleaned up my computer's hard-drive thinking that would help; it didn't. I bought an entirely new P.C. thinking that my previous one was simply too slow to handle the new internet; again, I was proved wrong. Recently I discovered why. It seems that "Highspeed Internet" is Version's techno-babble for "50 bytes faster than local highspeed Dial-Up." that's about 350bytes for my area of coverage.

While Verizon is great for phone service, it's not tops when it comes to highspeed internet. So, within the past few weeks I started shopping around for a better internet provider. Seems the new company "Hughsnet" is offering a one-time deal. For about $300 a month (200 less than what I'm paying Verizon at the moment) I can get them to install a dedicated line for my home network. The upside is that I get a dedicated line that is constantly on that offers 1.5megs/sec dedicated to each computer day or night. Moreover, I can have them setup a wireless hotspot that I can use to browse the net with my smartphone without fear of data usage. Downside is that I'll have to fork out a one-time payment of $500 to my local phone company to come out and physically install the line (that includes shutting down power to the house, digging the trench for the cable, and attaching said cable to the grid.) That, and I have to pay rather high fee to Verizon for early termination of contract.

So, to sum things up, I've got my heart set on getting a new internet provider that offers constant connectivity and higher speeds for hundreds less than what I'm paying for now. As much as I love Verizon, it's about time for a change. Hope I can save up enough for the new internet...

For those that have been following my Journal entries I reported that one of our bulldogs, Dolly, was suffering from severe kidney failure, and suffering from pneumonia. While her pneumonia cleared up, her kidney problems didn't. At 11am this morning she passed away from her kidney failure at the vet's office during an emergency visit. I wasn't there, so I can't give any details, but I do know that my dad's taken it hard. This makes the second dog he's lost in the past half year. While I'm sad to see her go, we can all feel that she's finally at rest....

It's me again, and like usual I have an update. However, just to warn you, this update isn't a pleasant one.

About a week ago a good and dear friend of mine, Lyn Anne-Marie, committed suicide. I found out just a few days ago about her passing from another friend, Mike, who owns the local used & new video game shop. How she committed suicide, I do not know beyond some speculative rumors that are floating around town. However, out of respect, I will not list those rumors here.

Lyn herself was an energetic, middle-aged woman. She was born in the Philippines, and came to the United States with her father (a U.S. Marine), and her mother (a well respected psychiatric doctor) when she was in her early teens. She graduated from college with top honors, and immediately joined Sony as both a music agent and a prototype tester. She spent most of her adult life working for Sony up until a few years ago when she decided to open up her own oriental restaurant - Taste of the Orient.

Things were looking up for her. Her business was booming, attracting a lot of attention from the students of the local college, Vincennes University. She had a really cute boyfriend several years her junior. Beyond that she was an important figure in the area's gay subculture. And yet her life went to hell. Again, out of respect, I'm not going to go into details; however, I will say that the town ( a conservatively christian community) unfairly turned on her in her hour of need. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Regardless to say, Lyn was almost a select few people that I considered to be a true friend. I'll miss her deeply...

If you know anyone that is contemplating suicide, or you yourself have thought of ending your life, then please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. Taking your own life is never the right answer to your problems.

I've got another update for everyone.

For the past couple of days I was without power. Seems my brother finally got tired of changing fuses, and talked my parents into getting a breaker box installed. They hired one of my uncles, a master electrician, to do the job. It took about two days to install the box, and run all new wiring throughout the house, but it was worth it. No more fear of the house catching on fire. (Truth been told, it would have been better if the house burnt down - the insurance would have covered it for five times as much as it's currently worth.)

Secondly, and more importantly, Dolly is back with us after a few days at the vet's. Seems she's doing a lot better, but she is still suffering from some kidney failure. The vet put her on a prescription diet of some of the foulest smelling canned dog food I ever smelled. She gets two cans a day; how long she gets them is something I don't know. She's scheduled to return to the vet's tomorrow for a checkup and blood-work.

I hope we don't have to put her down...

Well, I got two major updates for everyone. While they may not have anything to do with each other, I just feel like I should share them.

First off - we finally broke down and got a chest freezer. With my recent pushing to shop at different stores, and buy items that are on sale, my family has found a sudden need for additional refrigeration space. So, Mom and my brother went out and bought a freezer. It's a 25 feet cubed chest freezer, and takes up nearly the entire wall were we've got it set up. We've already unloaded our refrigerator's freezer into it, and it's barely a quarter full.

Now, on to my second announcement...

The eldest of my dad's bulldogs is dying. She somehow caught pneumonia sometime over the previous weekend, and it's killing her. Her kidneys have completely shut down, and she's coughing up blood. The vet currently has her on an I.V. pump in homes of helping to flush the toxins out of her system, but it's not working. He says she doesn't have much longer to live. Everyone is depressed about the fact that there is nothing else we can do beyond waiting and praying for a swift and painless end.

Why is it that disaster and misfortune always comes in multiples...

It's that time of the year again. It's my birthday. A full year older, and none the wiser.

Hard to believe I'm already 25. It seems like just last week I was unwrapping Christmas presents, and celebrating the new year. Where has the time gone? What have I been doing with my life? Simple: too much role-playing. Since my doctors have told me I'm medically disabled, and not allowed to work, most of my time has now been spent maintaining the house, playing World of Warcraft, and working on my Gundam, Zoids, and D&D RPG forums.

I wish I could get out more, go places, and do things. Sadly, that's not the case. My disabilities hold me back just as much as my lack of a stable cash flow. Sure, I get fired to do an odd job every now and then, but not nearly as frequent enough to allow me to do anything with.

Man, my like sucks...

It's true. I feel like I've done everything that is to do, and seen all there is to see. I've fought the Litch King, and I've helped to save Thrall from the Twilight Hammer cult. I was there when the Forsaken betrayed the Horde at the Wrathgate, and I've seen an orc riding a goblin tricycle. I've got all non PvP achievements, and am decked out in the latest tier of Warlock armor. I've played all the other classes, and completed the Molten Front. All that is left for me to do is to level my guild up, but that will takes years to accomplish. In short, there are simply no more surprises, suspense, or intrigue left to discover.

With that said, I'm bored. I want a game that will grab and keep my attention, be it forum based, or console. I want something that is not just superficial. I want depth of character, and depth of world. Sure, I'm part of a few forum based RPGs, but they aren't fulfilling anything beyond being a timekiller. They're immature, and cater to the younger, less-experienced player.

If anyone knows of a place meant for mature players please give me a shout.

Well, it's been some months now since I reported the euthanasia of two of the family dogs. While the wounds have healed, the house still feels a bit empty. So, Mom got the idea in her head to get another dog. However, instead of buying from a privet breeder, she wanted to adopt from the pound. For the past few weeks she's been looking through the websites of the local Humane Societies in hopes of finding the right job.

She found that dog earlier this morning. That dog is a ten week old blonde and tan female Chiweenie (a Chihuahua and a Dachshund.) She's very well mannered, respectful of her surroundings, but has no concept of personal space. She's taken to my dad rather quickly, as she's currently curled up between him and the arm of his recliner, buried under a blanket, asleep. The other dogs are giving her a wide berth; the two bulldogs have no idea what to make of her, and my chihuahua, while acting motherly, has had a rough time trying to find a place where the pup can't get to.

We haven't settled on a name for her yet. At the moment we're going with "Tippecanoe" - "Tippe" for short.

I haz woodz!!!

Confused, I'll explain:

For the past few months I've been wanting to put hardwood flooring in my bedroom, where I spend almost all my time. My room is 11 x 11 ft (3.3 x 3.3 m), and it would cost me about $300 to buy the wood I wanted. So, I managed to save up the money, and today I began to tear up the carpet to see if the flooring was in good condition.

Guess what I found. HARDWOOD!

Who the hell carpets over hardwood!? It may not be in the best condition, what with the dried white paint along the edges, but it's still serviceable. Sure, I'll need to buff a few spots, but all in all I like it.

Guess I'll spend the cash on rugs, and a new computer desk. Or maybe a new bookshelf; lord knows the one I got now is over fifty years old, and in bad condition... :D

Well, I'm back from the National Powwow XV!

It's was an interesting trip. Spent about five hours getting there, and another two setting up our vendor's booth, then it was time for bed. The next few days was spent tending the booth. Despite the fans we brought it was still hot and muggy as hell. When we closed up for the night, sometime around 9pm, there were the tribal dances, which you can check out over at my Youtube profile, http://www.youtube.com/user/Kantorock.

While the money we made barely covered fees, I did enjoy myself up until my dad fell down in the bathroom, and no one thought to help him. So, needless to say, we decided to pack up a full day early, and head for home. We got in around midnight, and went straight to bed. All I can say about today is "damn jetlag..."