This year has been a terrible one mainly due to everything from wha thappened with my job, and what has been happening with my father (hopeful that things improve for him still.)

It feels like all the good times I enjoyed began to end and go down hill after 2015 ended. Their are MANY things I can talk about, but on a specific personal level here: Losing relatives every year, dealing with a horrific infestation (which was eliminated fully sometime before I moved.) The crap that my sister was involved in (which btw it turns out they couldn't pin anything on her, and her so called friend was the culprit.) But in regards I had lost my job because of the shit we were all wrapped up in...

I had actually stopped and took a look at myself, I've come to find I'm not the bouncy happy leezord I once was when things started in 2013, one of THE Happiest years of my life. 2011 being a close second. I have had spouts of happiness here and there, but overall things just feel bleaker. Sure I've been learning new skills, developing things, but the debaucle I feel with 2021 and 2022...changed me in the worst way possible.

What are my expectations of 2023? not very high. While 2022 has shown sparks of good things coming, and the bad things ending from time to time, on a more personal case it's been difficult to say the least. Only thing I'm holding on to right now is hope, hopes about all I can go on. I have an appeal for my unemployment coming up soon, and hopefully I'll be able to get said unemployment while I continue to find work elsewhere.

Now I cannot lie, I would like to open up for comms, but given the shit I've been hearing such as Paypal and Patreon being moral police in things that have nothing to do with them, and the difficulty among other things it's something I may have to avoid for now.

That being said I do have a few new years resolution but the only ones really are to finish the Primal Rage Final Battle fan project, learn more of unreal, drawing and more importantly: having hope for things to get better. I am of course greatful of the new friends I have met this year and happy to continue meeting more and such. ^ v ^

That being said, happy 2023 to everyone who's on the other side of the world, it's not time yet on my end.

Hello everyone, merry Christmas, I hope next year is better.

Of my cast of characters, who would you wanna have 'fun' with. :>

This weeks been alot more stressful to me, I think its mostly just mental (IE all in my head) But I feel like I've been just freaking out so hard about it x-x;

Some good stuff did happen though: Godzilla came out for Giga Bash, a game I wasn't too sure about at first, but I warmed up to it quickly, even more so now. Though I did wish we'd get a full on Godzilla console game like the pipeworks this will do fine for now. I do hope something from Ultraman will be a thing though. Still quite a happy leezord on that 'v'

Also NEW ARMORED CORE! NEW AMORED CORE! And it's on a console I actually play (not PS5, don't have one of those, don't want one either. >.>)

Inspite of all this, not sure if I am being given this as a make up for all the stress I've been put through this week or something else .3.; still gonna try to relax a bit now.

Leezord is getting fatigued wanna break away from it for awhile and do something else with this style of coloring. Might continue when the spirit picks back up again

And somehow SNK created a set of characters that just check all the fucking boxes with me and   justathereptile:
-Brothers (twins maybe?) CHECK.
-Fire and Water/Ice themed? CHECK!
-Cool character concepts? (Ninajas, some kind of warrior concept) Check!
-Revenge Backstory? mega check!

Even woke up in a tired stupor and began throwing out a theory about the music: Both of these two are seeking revenge against King Leo for killing their brother. Imma just throw my theory about the music and how it relates to how they're expressing their rage

Gozu is expressing his rage as a wild burniing flame seeking to burn anything in its path to reduce the one responsible to ash. He is loud, wild, and everyone's gonna know he's angry, and to not get in his way, or they will join with the rest of the incinerated corpses


Mezu on the other hand is like a blistering vicious cold slowly slipping in, illustrated by the sound of water dripping becoming more and more quiet as the air gets colder, and the water freezes. Unlike a Gozu he is just as angry if not a little more, but is silent.

Weirdly enough this feels a tad to real given how both me and Justa each express our anger, so yeah. Fuckin love these two. Hadn't had a chance to play it yet and they already some of my favorites. I don't think game devs need to go out of there way to make characters like these, but boy howdy when they hit the nail on the head like this, fuck yeah.

Anyway that is all.

Mom told me the news a minute ago. Aunt Carol died. She had a pulimnary blockage that killed. Aunt Carol wasn't a blood relative, but she was still family. I always remember visiting her every Halloween and Christmas when she'd throw parties....

RIP Aunt Carol.

So I spoke with my dad before I left to get a haircut. Dad had already talked to the police. APPRANTLY when he did the cops were already talking to the crazy psycho lady. I think they came to arrest her. Dad mentioned her about likely going to a psyche ward. The guess is she was likely high on some kind of substance. Looking over the text she apprantly didn't directly threaten us really. Still I never liked her and I definitely wanna go out of my way to never associate with her. I'd still keep up on my gaurd though because someone who's inebriated often lets their thoughts come seeping out.


On a better note, applied at a local station a freind of mine works at. Hopefully they'll give Justa and I a call soon.

Dad's already working on getting the stuff together. Apparently the crazy wife of my older brother (she lives separate from my older brother) Sent a death threat to shoot everyone. Dad's gonna send this stuff to the police. I don't even know where or why she even did this. Dad suspects it's cause my older brother due to being let go had to take money out of his 401k just to keep afloat, given that she has a history of just taking money from him, it's not surprise to me that older bro would be careful with this. Again I don't know the full details, all I know is she sent a death threat.

today is bday 'v' also happy bday to brother;   justathereptile

that is all ^v^

Ok quick run down: On Friday night. some idiots were drag racing, one of them ran into a pole that took out our electricity, AND our internet dad ben trying for days to contact cusotmer service and they FINALLY picked up x-x;

sorry we worried you guys :<

CLAIM SLOT:
KEY: x = nsfw/ n = sfw


4-   ZiggyZackaryZigzagoon - Franny x Andri
5-   Skye_Vena - Maya n Brill
6-   Freakye80s - Sapphire n Fen

===============================


i will check the results after:

EDIT:

ALL SLOTS CLAIMED. THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN THIS, YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR A REQUEST ON THE NEXT GO AROUND.

The theme is likely gonna be your OCs w/ A few character ideas I have in mind.
A Pixie (I'll decide on the pixies look)
White (I'll decide if the White in question is in her red or green eyed state.)
Electa
Franny
Sapphire
Jaila
Mist
Maya
Velvet.

EDIT:
ALSO Adding in male choices here as well:
Jeffron
Wilyar
Gilt
Jay the Charizard
Drakk

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW WHO MANAGE TO NAB A SLOT WHEN IT COMES OUT: I will ask you which one. I'll decide what will go from there :>

The images will be sketches.

I should note: that sense my sister (yes her.) is unfortunatly coming to live with us. My dad is willing to let her come stay cause she has no place to go, HOWEVER Dad's well aware of what she did and what we went through, he is not a guy who takes shit lightly. She's likely gonna be walking on egg shells for a long time, he is not someone who'd heistate to point out when one does something stupid. Infact he's the one that kept telling my older siblings to get there shit togeather, if he's telling you something you need to do, it's important and you better listen.

SO my sister had reminded me of a specific thing I COMPLETELY forgot. I'm not sure if it was because I was concerned about how well moving was going to be, or what but apprantly I DID contact my supervisor about the incident either me or Justin, not sure which of us. and our supervisor had explained to us that it was ok because none of the work computers was taken.

SO I DID report ther incident, and I WAS secure in my approach. I always felt something was off, but we're gonna claw our way out of this hole they put us in.

We're taking steps now in order to address the issue starting tommorow.

COMMENTS DISABLE THIS IS SPECIFCALLY FOR INFORMATION, I AM NOT OPEN YET.

I've bene really wanting to do some doodling but have had some trouble thinking of what to doodle SO I'm gonna go ahead and plan to open up.

I plan to post around 6:30 PM Central US time. Usually I link you guys my rules but I'm gonna post them here seeing as there's jerks going around disguising crap links as FA links so yeah... so here's some do's and don'ts:

SO here's some other info I'm gonna add as a heads up:

ON TO OTHER CASES:

Do not be rude or mean to other people, or ME. While I don't mind being reminded every so often, don't get entitled or have an attitude you're not paying for these at all and I will try my best to do the work I can for you. If you act spoiled or entitled you may not get anything from me ever again. The possibility of dealing with people like that on a regular basis is why I never take commissions and is one of the single biggest reasons I don't ever want to do them.

Usually I ask for links to FA/IB or whatever for character refs but given how uncertain things are I can't even trust those links these days so if you have a character in question please make sure ya have a folder in your gallery so I can go find it instead.

The theme is likely gonna be your OCs w/ A few character ideas I have in mind.
A Pixie (I'll decide on the pixies look)
White (I'll decide if the White in question is in her red or green eyed state.)
Electa
Franny
Sapphire
Jaila
Mist
Maya
Velvet.

---

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW WHO MANAGE TO NAB A SLOT WHEN IT COMES OUT: I will ask you which one. I'll decide what will go from there :>

The images will be sketches.

I should note: that sense my sister (yes her.) is unfortunatly coming to live with us. My dad is willing to let her come stay cause she has no place to go, HOWEVER Dad's well aware of what she did and what we went through, he is not a guy who takes shit lightly. She's likely gonna be walking on egg shells for a long time, he is not someone who'd heistate to point out when one does something stupid. Infact he's the one that kept telling my older siblings to get there shit togeather, if he's telling you something you need to do, it's important and you better listen.

But I'm digressing sorry. The point is if something comes up and I have to delay the opening I will. Just so you all know.

Anyway hope to open it up in less than 5 hours!

Yesterday Justa and I were searching everywhere for an employer but most places either weren't hiring or the places those business used to be in are just bones.

However we found a little place that in quite a humble spot in town it's a small shop that does graphic design. They seemed interested in what we do, they use software that we haven't used before, but we are confident that we can thrive without issue given that we carry fundamentals with us.

He's gonna take a weekend to decide to. So crossing my fingers, and praying that we'll succeed in landing the job! wish us luck!

I think after roughly 1 1/2 half day of seething and such I'm finally relaxed a bit. While I do intend to start fighting back because of everything I was put through, at the moment I have to focus on filing a claim to the unemployment office starting Monday, dad's not sure what will happen yet, but they'll be looking and seeing what my 401K is gonna be which we did indeed have that, so for now at least paying car payments and rent won't be as bad for now, we'll also try to find a place, starting with the one we found online the day   justathereptile and I were let go, hopefully it is a tangible place...

My dad suspects that while Justa and I did no wrong and weren't really involved because of just what my sister was accused of and charged with they decided they wanted to throw us off to the side, basically it's the same logic of "a rotten apple spoils the bunch" mentality. The same toxic logic that plagues the politics of today's society, but that's besides the point. It really hurts having to do the best ya can, and work so hard you get a damn promotion and such, only for them to drop you like a bad habit for something neither you or your employer was involved in...I resent so many things that lead to these circumstances, but I'm gonna touch on it right now as I am not a blogger. I express my feelings through art not merely writing constant jargon online when my jimmies get ruffled. Save for all of this.



With the reflective moping out of the way let's get to the meat of why I decided to do this:

I wanna thank everyone who came to me and Justathereptile. You gave your support, your feelings, your thoughts on the matter it helped a lot. While I still don't feel great I do feel a little better because of you guys, and what you did for us. I'm sure you guys didn't expect to completely wash the dirt off us completely, but you did shine a few small spots and that's always a good place to start, only way I think I can fully get over this is to move forward and that's about it.

I still carry resentment, specifically to the people who put us in these circumstances to begin with, I don't know if I'll ever let that go so easily. Wounds heal they may become unsightly scars but they'll heal. Right now instead of wasting energy constantly crying over it (cause enough of that has been done already) it's time to move forward. Don't go assuming that I'm gonna let this crap slide though, as we've been stepped on far too many times.

Anyway thank you all. Imma just chill till Sunday. I guess if you're gonna get your shit fucked over the weekends the best time cause you get to recooperate a little before you get down to business.

Ok, now that I've had time to relax and get what's left of my mind straight here's what occured:

You guys remember what happened the night the police came and did a search warrant, the one that got our stuff taken away and didn't give it back till the case was resolved? even though none of us were involved in it? WELL apparently the detective contacted our employers about the investigation sometime ago, and even though we had NOTHING to do with te situation and none of it happened to do with our employer, they fired us because of supposedly poor misconduct.

Dad's looking to get a lawyer so we can sue the department for putting us in this bad spot. I don't know if we'll win or not though.

On another case dad found another place of potential employment for us and I'll be spending the weekend prepping a resume of stuff, crossing my fingers and hopin' we'll nail this one cause lord knows we need it right now.

It's fucked up this happened, it really is. That job was mundane as hell, we were just processing docs and doing phone calls mostly but it paid really well, and the employer was one of the best around before the firing anyway and I didn't mind working there because of it.
I tried contacting the site manager about who to call, but she didn't want to, saying it was out of my hand, I had been hoping that we could get a number to call the people who did it see if they could give us another chance...it really sucks...it really does u_u...


Sometimes it feels like when life gives you something it takes much more from you. I wish sometimes it'd just let me keep the things I gained...Of course IDK this could be a blessing in disguise and the potential job in question can potentially pay better than the one we were stripped from, but that's assuming we even get it all, but we're gonna try.

I'm tired now I'm gonna take the rest of the day off..

I can't explain it right now..I'm just hurt too much....

Spreading the message here guys just to be safe:

There is a hacker trying to steal accounts.

That sucka will send you links that will lead to a login page of Furaffinity.

make sure to hide it if they post it.


You don't want your account to get hijacked and to lose all of your work!

I guess form now on I may not ever click any links even from FA by this point, as if I don't have enough to be concerned over x-x;

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10263575/

Please go check it out. :> deadbliss is a good artist ^U^

Hey all the move went well except for a few issues we had to mitigate the main one being our internet but the issue is solved for the time :>

Happy to be back in buisness and in a new home, hoenstly it's kinda nice cause it's less stressful, it squiert, less unconcerned peeps and the like :> happy tro be back ^U^

felt like sharin' a vid of this game, was pretty uniqe at the time. World needs more stuff like this enjoy :V I loved this game when it first came out.

lol

also for otherr creepy crawlie fans out there which ya like more? spiders or scorpions? personally Im in the scorpion camp, but mad respect to the spiders 'v'