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Can't catch a break
Posted 2 years agoMother had a call in with the Social Security office. For reasons I cannot seem to fully grasp; she cannot collect on dad's social security, which will make things horrendously difficult overall.
I don't know what's going to happen, but there's a chance we may have to move if we cannot keep up payments. I am aware that
justathereptile and I are gonna have to pay more in rent, which is fine, I just wish this didn't go as bad as it did.
I was admittedly afraid something like this would happen....but nothing has gone as well as planned...-sigh- This year was already the worst one of my life as it is...
I don't know what's going to happen, but there's a chance we may have to move if we cannot keep up payments. I am aware that
justathereptile and I are gonna have to pay more in rent, which is fine, I just wish this didn't go as bad as it did. I was admittedly afraid something like this would happen....but nothing has gone as well as planned...-sigh- This year was already the worst one of my life as it is...
you an artist or creator on Twitter? (UPDATE)
Posted 2 years agohttps://twitter.com/gen_stamps/stat.....11191497342976 a freind DMed me this on Discord, and supposedly they only updated it to cover their asses. leezord apologies for causing a stir. 'v';;;
I still wouldn't ever used twitter though, but if you're someone that does, I hope this eases it still if you choose to use the platform still.
I still wouldn't ever used twitter though, but if you're someone that does, I hope this eases it still if you choose to use the platform still.
You an artist or creator on twitter?
Posted 2 years agohttps://twitter.com/mikewyantjr/sta.....ZpjCwZDxOwkMuw You might wanna look at this. I don't have a twitter thankfully, but I'd probably stop there if they're not gonna respect you or what you make.
Somethin' fun.
Posted 2 years ago^v^
I have made piece, and other things as well..
Posted 2 years agoHello everyone. I wanna say first that, leezord is thankful with everyone's support. It's just been really difficult having to have lost so many over the course of just 2 months.
In any case, justathereptile and I have finally made peace with the passing of our older brother. As we began to come to terms with it, admittedly it never should've been a surprise that this happened when it did....it was just far....far too soon. Our older brother was not the healthiest person not even by a long shot. Health wise he was the worst off. He always ate a lot of fatty foods and take out, he never exercised even when we at one point offered to bring him along in that regard. Infact I'd say the last few years his health had degraded so poorly that he had congestive heart failure...granted he could still have exercised, but to him this was just far too late, a few days before his passing, I also learned he had been smoking meth, and while I was shocked at first to hear about it, I realized that he was gone once for about a week 2 years ago, I had always assumed he had just gone to visit Mary or someone for awhile and didn't think much of it.... He weighed almost as much as a full grown tiger when he was admitted into the hospital...the part that hurt the most was...we actually had a sliver of hope. If he had medically qualified (by that I assume he was healthy enough for the procedure.) he could've been taken to Oklahoma City where they could try to heal his lungs, he didn't, and hope was torn from us...
Even with all these health problems it doesn't mean we were WANTING this to happen, we knew yes...but still it never made it easier to come to grips with. Was he a jerk? yeah he was, but when I was much younger he was sort of the big brother jerk, he wasn't an out right bully to us or nothing and I've had some fond memories of him, my most fondest watching him play Metal Gear Solid. When he got to psycho mantis, hoo boy that moment he broke the fourth wall and made the controller move scared the living hell out of me. I ducked behind him, practically cheering him on to beat that psychic bastard, and he did.
Even though I never played MGS it was one of many series along side Superman that I often think of and associate with my big brother. He always loved gaming but he never had time to, I often wondered how he'd feel about seeing how far the series had come. And then he met Mary.
Mary wasn't a nice person, and while big brother was a jerk in some respects...he became worse after marying her, I think it was the combination of stress dealing with her, and other things his personality wasn't much better with those two, but otherwise the big brother I knew turned into something my mother refered to as a 'User' He did indeed become far too reliant on our parents always brrowing money from them but never did enough to actually get off and do things himself, this personality flaw always existed, but it was magnified as neither him nor Mary would do anything for themselves.
Oneday the marriage turned sour and the two separated still married, but separated. In the last few weeks of his life, I began to see the older brother I knew, and somewhat admired...and now he's gone...and hurtful as it may be, I'm ok with it, because he was suffering with all the health problems he had.
He left behind three children, one of them is 6, and I can't fathom just what would be going through his head right now, nor his daughters. We had found a video contianing the entire series of a cartoon show we watched with our big brother hoping to do so in celebration, but it was too late.
RIP Big brother...you will be missed.
---
As far as everything else has gone, I feel like I have been procrastinating too much with my projects, I also want to apologize to everyone who I have been failing to keep up conversations with. When I draw I have this big pen display (which is AMAZING. Btw.) but because I also hae my base booster on my computer desk it's quite...big '3' and the table is kinda small so I have to move my keyboard to the side to draw and its hard to type on a keyboard that is perpendicular to you. 'v';;;
I'm saying this now that I'm gonna focus on some projects I need to get done, so on discord I will still be down for chatting and RPing, but I am gonna be a bit slow sometimes cause I gotta really finish Primal Rage: Final Battle, and work on Beasts of Wrath 2.
Plus were prepping some stuff up to work on a series Justa and I have always been wanting to do: Rageon, a bit different from all the crazy fun escapades you've seen me post here on FA, but now ya know what universe most of me and Justathereptile cast are from. 'v'
I also wanna finish the FAIQ for the Magneta and Dribella. If interested in asking a question head here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48166326/
Anyway thanks again to all for the support everyone.
In any case,
justathereptile and I have finally made peace with the passing of our older brother. As we began to come to terms with it, admittedly it never should've been a surprise that this happened when it did....it was just far....far too soon. Our older brother was not the healthiest person not even by a long shot. Health wise he was the worst off. He always ate a lot of fatty foods and take out, he never exercised even when we at one point offered to bring him along in that regard. Infact I'd say the last few years his health had degraded so poorly that he had congestive heart failure...granted he could still have exercised, but to him this was just far too late, a few days before his passing, I also learned he had been smoking meth, and while I was shocked at first to hear about it, I realized that he was gone once for about a week 2 years ago, I had always assumed he had just gone to visit Mary or someone for awhile and didn't think much of it.... He weighed almost as much as a full grown tiger when he was admitted into the hospital...the part that hurt the most was...we actually had a sliver of hope. If he had medically qualified (by that I assume he was healthy enough for the procedure.) he could've been taken to Oklahoma City where they could try to heal his lungs, he didn't, and hope was torn from us...Even with all these health problems it doesn't mean we were WANTING this to happen, we knew yes...but still it never made it easier to come to grips with. Was he a jerk? yeah he was, but when I was much younger he was sort of the big brother jerk, he wasn't an out right bully to us or nothing and I've had some fond memories of him, my most fondest watching him play Metal Gear Solid. When he got to psycho mantis, hoo boy that moment he broke the fourth wall and made the controller move scared the living hell out of me. I ducked behind him, practically cheering him on to beat that psychic bastard, and he did.
Even though I never played MGS it was one of many series along side Superman that I often think of and associate with my big brother. He always loved gaming but he never had time to, I often wondered how he'd feel about seeing how far the series had come. And then he met Mary.
Mary wasn't a nice person, and while big brother was a jerk in some respects...he became worse after marying her, I think it was the combination of stress dealing with her, and other things his personality wasn't much better with those two, but otherwise the big brother I knew turned into something my mother refered to as a 'User' He did indeed become far too reliant on our parents always brrowing money from them but never did enough to actually get off and do things himself, this personality flaw always existed, but it was magnified as neither him nor Mary would do anything for themselves.
Oneday the marriage turned sour and the two separated still married, but separated. In the last few weeks of his life, I began to see the older brother I knew, and somewhat admired...and now he's gone...and hurtful as it may be, I'm ok with it, because he was suffering with all the health problems he had.
He left behind three children, one of them is 6, and I can't fathom just what would be going through his head right now, nor his daughters. We had found a video contianing the entire series of a cartoon show we watched with our big brother hoping to do so in celebration, but it was too late.
RIP Big brother...you will be missed.
---
As far as everything else has gone, I feel like I have been procrastinating too much with my projects, I also want to apologize to everyone who I have been failing to keep up conversations with. When I draw I have this big pen display (which is AMAZING. Btw.) but because I also hae my base booster on my computer desk it's quite...big '3' and the table is kinda small so I have to move my keyboard to the side to draw and its hard to type on a keyboard that is perpendicular to you. 'v';;;
I'm saying this now that I'm gonna focus on some projects I need to get done, so on discord I will still be down for chatting and RPing, but I am gonna be a bit slow sometimes cause I gotta really finish Primal Rage: Final Battle, and work on Beasts of Wrath 2.
Plus were prepping some stuff up to work on a series Justa and I have always been wanting to do: Rageon, a bit different from all the crazy fun escapades you've seen me post here on FA, but now ya know what universe most of me and
Justathereptile cast are from. 'v' I also wanna finish the FAIQ for the Magneta and Dribella. If interested in asking a question head here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48166326/
Anyway thanks again to all for the support everyone.
Said good bye to big brother....
Posted 2 years agoMe and justathereptile had to say goodbye to our brother today.
He isn't going to make it tonight. We had a sliver of hope that if qualified he could go to Oklahoma city for a treatment to save his lungs...given what mom told me he wasn't...IDK why bt still....
I lost dad...I lost my pet lizard....and now I'm losing one of my brothers....
I think I'm going to take a short break for awhile.
There's a project me and Justa need to do and it's a nessecary vent piece...if we don't get to this at some point, I will start losing my shit by this point.
justathereptile had to say goodbye to our brother today.He isn't going to make it tonight. We had a sliver of hope that if qualified he could go to Oklahoma city for a treatment to save his lungs...given what mom told me he wasn't...IDK why bt still....
I lost dad...I lost my pet lizard....and now I'm losing one of my brothers....
I think I'm going to take a short break for awhile.
There's a project me and Justa need to do and it's a nessecary vent piece...if we don't get to this at some point, I will start losing my shit by this point.
Older Brother is not doing well...
Posted 2 years agoMom just gave me the bad news....
Big Bro's not getting better...it seemed like he would but he just can't breath without help....I don't think it would be right for him to suffer..but even I don't know...
This is too fucking soon.
Big Bro's not getting better...it seemed like he would but he just can't breath without help....I don't think it would be right for him to suffer..but even I don't know...
This is too fucking soon.
Leezord saw the mario movie 'v'
Posted 2 years agoand I enjoyed it 'v'
one thing kinda confused me but that's something for later.
Lookin' forward to the sequel 'v'
one thing kinda confused me but that's something for later.
Lookin' forward to the sequel 'v'
Older Brother is in hospital with a bad infection.
Posted 2 years agome and Justa's older brother was sent to the hospital yesterday morning. Apprantly I was told just now he's in stable condition, but he was so aggravated from what mom said he ripped the IVs out and he has ALOT of them.
The infaction went all the way up to his thigh....I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm praying that I do not lose another family member yet again....
The infaction went all the way up to his thigh....I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm praying that I do not lose another family member yet again....
lovin this song!
Posted 2 years ago fuckin' love this!
Ok to specify
Posted 2 years agoI apologize for some confusion here but to clarify: I'm All for the banning of tik-tok but I do feel this bill is a trojan horse. I'm aware we've already had some shit taken from us already byt at some point we NEED to draw the line. I'm always down for fighting against shit like foreign spyware like tijtok being fought against, but the idea that you can face 20 YEARS in prison for using a VPN? A device that is supposed to help your privacy BECAUSE the people handling your data don't care enough about it to begin with?
basically I'm concerned this bill can be used to take even MORE control than it should have.
here's another vid that may also go into details about it as well.
EDIT: If you're a US Citizen CALL YOUR SENATORS AND REPRESENATIVES!
WHAT THE HELL??
Posted 2 years ago What the fuck is going on here??!
other details
other details
If you're a US citizen contact your representatives IMMeDIATELY! and any who's pushing this shit VOTE THEM OUT!
-leezord dance- ^V^!~ -spoiler warning-
Posted 2 years agoBeen stuck listening to this music all week 'v' kept my spirits up through through out 'v'
Not a huge spolier thing I suppose but the 2nd vid is kinda iffy <v> in any case yeah been stuck listening to these specifically.
Not a huge spolier thing I suppose but the 2nd vid is kinda iffy <v> in any case yeah been stuck listening to these specifically.
>
o^o ....
Posted 2 years agois leezord...feeling an art streak? I just realized how frequently I've been doodling these last few days .3. ....I hadn't felt like this in a long time.
might be temporary, but leezord is happy all the same ^v^~
might be temporary, but leezord is happy all the same ^v^~
leezord is grateful.
Posted 3 years agoAfter some sleep, and some thoughts about it all. I've finally come to terms with what's happened. II'm grateful to everyone who's shown their support, prayers and condolences.
Aside from having to thank everyone, I'm also just wishing to change up the journal a bit and not leave the previous one up.
It'll take sometime but I'll be back to myself again soon, while not completely as given what life has been like for me, yeah.
Mom's making plans for dad's funeral. It'll be a military one given the fact that dad did commit his service among other things.
I'm going to go by a popcorn shop here in town and get her something to help raise her spirits.
Thank you all for everything...
Aside from having to thank everyone, I'm also just wishing to change up the journal a bit and not leave the previous one up.
It'll take sometime but I'll be back to myself again soon, while not completely as given what life has been like for me, yeah.
Mom's making plans for dad's funeral. It'll be a military one given the fact that dad did commit his service among other things.
I'm going to go by a popcorn shop here in town and get her something to help raise her spirits.
Thank you all for everything...
Update on father....
Posted 3 years agoHe's finally passed...The greatest man in the world is gone...
RIP...Dad...1952-2023
RIP...Dad...1952-2023
Update: Said good bye to father....he's still alive?!?...
Posted 3 years agoHey guys. I apologize for not being so talkative last night. As you can already tell by things justathereptile and I have been going through a really rough time.
This morning however, I woke up and learned just now he hasn't passed yet...but we fear it could be any day now. Mom's been all shaken up by all of this and aeeing her cry admittedly isn't making all of this easier. I'm praying that the goodbye I've said last night isn't my lass, but mom does feel he isn't really there anymore. According to mom, his body is present...but he isn't responsive..I unfortunately got a curious look at him....he's breathing...but his mouth is dry....and he was just staring into space...
Sense yesterday he can hear and see you, but he doesn't respond IDK if he can talk or not. Admittedly I just don't know anymore by this point...
That being said: I want to say to everyone thank you showing your support. Some of you have probably lost family and I've always dreaded that happening to mine.
Though I've been losing family left and right at minimum one death per year, It doesn't make it any better.One thing I'm still grateful is that I have some family left, and you guys as friends.
I'm gonna likely take a break from drawing and doing projects for a couple of days by the weekend I'll probably be down for resuming things.
Though the last sand hasn't yet fallen for my dad he is one of the biggest key figures in my life.
If you ever knew some things about me, you'd know I am passionate for doing 3D animations, kaiju, prehistoric creatures, my likes, and heck even the work ethic I tend to bring to the job. All of that came from my father.
I also always took his advise to heart most important one is: "The only way to get better at something, is by doing it." Something I always followed with and kept working at which is also why I tend to carry such an optimistic view even upon my fellow artists who put far too much doubt in their own skills.
The most intricate memory I had from him was back when I was still small. 5,6,7. Early morning hours. I used to be terrified of thunder because of its loud booming noises, I could never predict when it happened and felt like something scary that I just couldn't ever comprehend.
Dad taught me to watch the lightning, and to listen. When you see the flash, you know it's coming. Once I understood that my fear melted away.
It was one of the many things he's taught me throughout my youth. I could've easily fallen into the same trap my older siblings have fallen into. Even explained to me finally the concept of consequences which took awhile to sink in but after sometime I always did my best to stay out of trouble which was important because I was such an angry adolesant/teen back then. I still do have a temper from time to time but it's at least subdued at best, or just expressed in another way at worse.
He even went out of his way to help us learn thing for our 3D animations and the like when it came to what Justa and I did he was the single most supportive person within my immediate family. I am the man I am today because of him, and looking at how others had experienced with their fathers, I am so grateful that mine stuck by, and after all of that. I feel him going out like this just isn't fair. But the hardest thing most people understand is the world doesn't owe us anything despite what has happened.
I was able to male peace with the loss of great grandma, and my two grandfathers, they had reached their years and went out peacefully. With my uncles it's just been to hard to let it go sometimes, and with dad..you never really know how well you can handle something so close to home till it happens. Do I trust that I'll be able to get along? yes. Do I trust that I will be the same person at the end of it? I'm not so sure anymore. I still have some happy moments to look forward too.
He could go any day now,and there is no way of knowing...for all I know a miracle could happen to haul him up...whatever the case I'm grateful for what he's done for us...
justathereptile and I have been going through a really rough time. This morning however, I woke up and learned just now he hasn't passed yet...but we fear it could be any day now. Mom's been all shaken up by all of this and aeeing her cry admittedly isn't making all of this easier. I'm praying that the goodbye I've said last night isn't my lass, but mom does feel he isn't really there anymore. According to mom, his body is present...but he isn't responsive..I unfortunately got a curious look at him....he's breathing...but his mouth is dry....and he was just staring into space...
Sense yesterday he can hear and see you, but he doesn't respond IDK if he can talk or not. Admittedly I just don't know anymore by this point...
That being said: I want to say to everyone thank you showing your support. Some of you have probably lost family and I've always dreaded that happening to mine.
Though I've been losing family left and right at minimum one death per year, It doesn't make it any better.One thing I'm still grateful is that I have some family left, and you guys as friends.
I'm gonna likely take a break from drawing and doing projects for a couple of days by the weekend I'll probably be down for resuming things.
Though the last sand hasn't yet fallen for my dad he is one of the biggest key figures in my life.
If you ever knew some things about me, you'd know I am passionate for doing 3D animations, kaiju, prehistoric creatures, my likes, and heck even the work ethic I tend to bring to the job. All of that came from my father.
I also always took his advise to heart most important one is: "The only way to get better at something, is by doing it." Something I always followed with and kept working at which is also why I tend to carry such an optimistic view even upon my fellow artists who put far too much doubt in their own skills.
The most intricate memory I had from him was back when I was still small. 5,6,7. Early morning hours. I used to be terrified of thunder because of its loud booming noises, I could never predict when it happened and felt like something scary that I just couldn't ever comprehend.
Dad taught me to watch the lightning, and to listen. When you see the flash, you know it's coming. Once I understood that my fear melted away.
It was one of the many things he's taught me throughout my youth. I could've easily fallen into the same trap my older siblings have fallen into. Even explained to me finally the concept of consequences which took awhile to sink in but after sometime I always did my best to stay out of trouble which was important because I was such an angry adolesant/teen back then. I still do have a temper from time to time but it's at least subdued at best, or just expressed in another way at worse.
He even went out of his way to help us learn thing for our 3D animations and the like when it came to what Justa and I did he was the single most supportive person within my immediate family. I am the man I am today because of him, and looking at how others had experienced with their fathers, I am so grateful that mine stuck by, and after all of that. I feel him going out like this just isn't fair. But the hardest thing most people understand is the world doesn't owe us anything despite what has happened.
I was able to male peace with the loss of great grandma, and my two grandfathers, they had reached their years and went out peacefully. With my uncles it's just been to hard to let it go sometimes, and with dad..you never really know how well you can handle something so close to home till it happens. Do I trust that I'll be able to get along? yes. Do I trust that I will be the same person at the end of it? I'm not so sure anymore. I still have some happy moments to look forward too.
He could go any day now,and there is no way of knowing...for all I know a miracle could happen to haul him up...whatever the case I'm grateful for what he's done for us...
another artist needs help.
Posted 3 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10468507/
Sarah_Furry needs help. She's having trouble selling her work. If you can, please come by and see what she has on offer. Thank you for reading.
Sarah_Furry needs help. She's having trouble selling her work. If you can, please come by and see what she has on offer. Thank you for reading.Father is in Hospice.
Posted 3 years agoFather is in hospice, because of the treatments for his cancer previously, it took away his kidneys...he still had to do the treatment, but it was too much....I've been praying everyday hoping he'd get better...I still want to beleive he'll get better....
I've lost family members every year starting in 2017...this world just continues to take family away from us...
I don't know how I'm going to feel after all of this...I just don't...
I have to do some things to help my mother move back in..
But do apologize if I am not the happy lil leezord I tend to be at times...
I've lost family members every year starting in 2017...this world just continues to take family away from us...
I don't know how I'm going to feel after all of this...I just don't...
I have to do some things to help my mother move back in..
But do apologize if I am not the happy lil leezord I tend to be at times...
FRIEND IN NEED O ^ O;!!
Posted 3 years agoA friend of mine is taking commisions, they need money for rent and to help pay off rent and some other problems to handle with. The rent is in 4 Days. If you're interested in a commision PLEASE check em' out.
This is their price sheet. Also if you're interested please PM them.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45836937/ <--COMMISION SHEET.
This is their price sheet. Also if you're interested please PM them.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45836937/ <--COMMISION SHEET.
Leezord is covid free.
Posted 3 years agoLeezord is free. ^v^~
UPDATE: Justathereptile and I have covid as well.
Posted 3 years agoDad tested positive for covid. I was told about this when I got back from work.
He seemed confused sense he did get his shots and the like. I just hope it means he'll be able to make it through this without any further problems....
update: he feels fine, albeit a bit miserable. I did remember him being sick in bed a day or two ago, so maybe he's at the other end of it.
Justa and I just tested positive for covid, I remember my nephew being sick we all thought we were just sick with the flu.
Ill have to call tommorow see what's expected to happen...
He seemed confused sense he did get his shots and the like. I just hope it means he'll be able to make it through this without any further problems....
update: he feels fine, albeit a bit miserable. I did remember him being sick in bed a day or two ago, so maybe he's at the other end of it.
Justa and I just tested positive for covid, I remember my nephew being sick we all thought we were just sick with the flu.
Ill have to call tommorow see what's expected to happen...
Father tested positive for covid.
Posted 3 years agoDad tested positive for covid. I was told about this when I got back from work.
He seemed confused sense he did get his shots and the like. I just hope it means he'll be able to make it through this without any further problems....
He seemed confused sense he did get his shots and the like. I just hope it means he'll be able to make it through this without any further problems....
leezord has da job 'v'
Posted 3 years agome and justathereptile got the job. ^U^ It's a little mom/pop shop that does printing and awards, mainly for military. The boss is starting us on part time for right now, sense the cycle hasn't picked up fully yet. The software is something I haven't seen before, but I'll get the hang of it.
justathereptile got the job. ^U^ It's a little mom/pop shop that does printing and awards, mainly for military. The boss is starting us on part time for right now, sense the cycle hasn't picked up fully yet. The software is something I haven't seen before, but I'll get the hang of it.Update on job situation.
Posted 3 years agoThe job I applied for back in September asked for me and justathereptile to come over so they can see what we can do. We're gonna be back at 1 tomorrow for additional training.
It's a mom and pop graphic design place, 98 percent of the jobs are done for printing awards, placks and other things for soldiers.
Hopefully it goes well for us ^0^
justathereptile to come over so they can see what we can do. We're gonna be back at 1 tomorrow for additional training. It's a mom and pop graphic design place, 98 percent of the jobs are done for printing awards, placks and other things for soldiers.
Hopefully it goes well for us ^0^
