My friend  Takunaga is holding another raffle for her watchers!! Check out her art if you haven't already, she's got such a good and cute style :3

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7772332/

YEAH, I got back from Melbourne yesterday! I was really tired from not sleeping well at all during the trip, haha.

I had a really great time! There were a few complications and incidents, but overall, it was a great trip! The main reason we went was to meet Youtubers danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil as well as see their show, which was pretty fantastic! That was just on Sunday though. Friday and Saturday were just days of shopping and exploring. I bought a few nice things, including a new pair of boots and Digimon figurines that I had been watching online for months.

Anyway, yeah!! I'm still fairly tired, but I got more sleep last night and I think I just my usual level of tiredness now.

I really miss Melbourne. Hoping to go back there for New Year's with more friends.

Hey, everyone! I'm currently in Melbourne with my girlfriend and one of our friends! It's the first time I've organised and made a trip like this without my mother, so it's a big deal to me!

We had a rather... long... first half of the day. Delayed flight, took longer than expected to get to the hotel, had a little problem because I messed something up (first time I've booked/paid for a hotel room, oops...), but it was all okay in the end... though I did cry a little bit.

BASICALLY, the flight being delayed messed up our afternoon because we arrived much later, but we did still manage to walk around and check out shops and things! Melbourne is such a big city and it's always amazing to me, since I come from a rather small city.

I'm here until the 22nd! I have my laptop and my tablet, so I may draw? No idea. Today has been stressful, but also fun, and I just don't have much energy after all that. Also... super tired from waking up at 4:30 am because my body wants me to suffer.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the weekend! :3

How do people even manage to sell adoptables, because I just have no luck at all! Maybe I just don't have a big enough audience or my adopts just aren't appealing. I wonder what people even want from them? Maybe mine just aren't unique enough? I should be more creative with them, perhaps.

Also, I'm still interested in taking one or two art trades with any mutuals. Though, since no one commented on my last journal, perhaps no one is up for them right now. Maybe next time!

Would any of my mutuals be interested in an art trade? Just one, maybe two. They'd probably be chibis, like this: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/20397942/ or this: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/20096829/

Please no characters who have detailed/complicated designs! I just get confused/overwhelmed easily..

I've been having another wonderful time with anxiety! This time it's worrying if people actually like me and wondering if people just tolerate me and don't actually want to talk to me!! People don't seem to like talking to me much anyway, so that just fuels it. It's making me feel so uncomfortable.

It sucks. I'm trying to be more rational, but nah. I'm not worth much, plus I'm annoying and obnoxious, so it's really no surprise people would rather avoid me. But I just feel so alone.

YELLS because I just want to be Okay. But let's just worry about how people see me and wonder if I've upset people without realising and now they don't want to speak to me. That's fine. This is fine.

LEAVE ME ALONE HOLY SHIT

I've been anxious, really fucking depressed and really?? fearful?? over the past week (honestly past month, but it got REALLY BAD this week)?? OH BOY, did I FUCK MYSELF OVER!!! I got some BAD THOUGHTS in my head and wow it was definitely a low point and honestly I've never really thought about death seriously but wow okay....?? okay....

It's like.... I knew whatever it was I was thinking was irrational and probably Not a Thing, but it was enough to fuck me up and made me think about!! what if I end up in a situation I just can't handle mentally??? it's happened before on a smaller level (a breakdown that resulted in me having to go home and i ended up snapping again later that day over something irritating but not worth putting my foot through the wall over). i don't know how to cope with anything and ??? SIGHS REALLY LOUDLY

DON'T WORRY THOUGH, I'm fine, I just ended up sleeping a lot during the day (and somehow did not fuck up my sleeping schedule) and just laid around in bed a lot just... aimlessly staring and trying not to think about those thoughts. Couldn't eat anything despite being hungry and just general... Ugh. But I'm fine now, I think. My girlfriend is here right now and I've actually had a couple of meals today.

I think... I just need something else to do during the day.... I'm currently unemployed and trying to find at least volunteer work that I can actually manage and deal with mentally. I think having nothing much to do is starting to get to me as well.

Anyway, these thoughts are still... there and I still have fears, but I don't want that to stop me from creating art and sharing it. I want to start drawing more finished stuff of my OCs more. They really need more love. And I haven't drawn any Gen 7 Pokémon yet. Surely I should have drawn Litten by now!!!!!

WELP, I should try to get that motivation back aha.

The past two weeks have been weird and ????

On the 31st my girlfriend went to South Africa with her family for two weeks, so I had to cope with her not being around (I'm too clingy, probably). Unfortunately this happened to coincide with a really weird and not fun mental state that I didn't really tell anyone about. Then I suspect I got a bit of food poisoning and ended up sick in the stomach and unable to eat for about a week. So I wasn't well physically or mentally. I had no motivation to do anything, my room became much less tidy and I very much spent all of my time in my bed just.... thinking about how terrible I am and maybe I shouldn't be around, lmao. As well as being sick. Much fun.

WELP, it's two weeks later, I'm feeling much better, my girlfriend is home and maybe I will actually get something done that I want to post here. Maybe... hmmmmmm..

I guess that is the Update.

OKAY so not only did we get two cute new Pokémon revealed today (I LOVE IWANKO SO MUCH, I WANT 100), BUT WE ALSO GET CONFIRMATION OF ZYGARDE'S FORMES IN THE GAME??!!

I CAN FINALLY HAVE A ZYDOG IN GAME??!?!!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH GAME FREAK I LOVE YOU I'M SCREAMING

EDIT: Here are the Japanese trailers for Zygarde's Formes if you haven't seen them yet!

Zygarde 10% Forme
Zygarde Complete Forme

My friend  Takunaga is having an art raffle! Check it out, she has such cute art!

So sorry for probably flooding your inboxes, but I always feel compelled to get all of this done in one day whenever I make an account move.

Anyway, I've finished uploading for now and from now on should be new stuff! I'm trying to work more on stuff, but it's still proving difficult. I'll keep at it though, since I would like to be more active here and on other sites too.

Also, if you're a watcher from my other account who's followed me here, thanks so much for sticking with me! If you're a new follower who found me through my mass posting, hello!!

Hi everyone! I've moved from  SanuraFox due to continually being bothered by using my name as my user (even if it IS my preferred name).

I'm going to be uploading some of my recent and old favourites from my previous gallery! Let's see how long that takes.