Some folks have rightly pointed out to me that I've got a fair chunk of my online life here -- and that all this stuff I've posted is part of other folks' experiences, in ways large and small. Wouldn't be right to them for me to consign all that to the digital bin.

I was what I was. I had a ton of fun with that, and I'm glad I was able to share that fun with other folks. Even though I'm no longer one of the naughtier bitches in the fandom, I am still a silly bastard with a different brand of fun to share, and I will always be furry at heart.

So, this account will stand. I'll check in once in a while, but I will also be transitioning my main activities here -- such as they are -- to a new account. There's likely not going to be much art there, at least for now. I've fallen badly out of the habit of drawing anything and am not sure when or if I'll pick up my stylus again.

I'll update the title and this journal once I have a new account set up, but I have no timetable on that at the moment.

Cheers, friends and fiends.

(Edit:)
I'm NOT going to be removing this account at the end of August. (see next journal)

(Not Edited:)
Thanks to you who have enjoyed my odd attempts at art and porn...
but I need to move on from this phase of my life.

Grab what you want from my gallery, while you can.
I'm so glad that I was able to provide enjoyment to so many folks over my 25+ years in the fandom.

Do it with my blessing! I don't hate any of the things I've done here,
not do I hate you for enjoying them. When I made them, I made them full-heartedly,
with immense enjoyment for the subject matter, naughty or otherwise.

But my existence has gone in a much tamer direction, largely due to my transgender transition.
I prefer innocent art now, and maybe I'll share some of that here under another name.

So. yes, I'm still a furry, but I'm taking a different tack these days.
Haystack will always be my personal fur, no cap.
But my Internet presence has shifted in a Lupey direction.

Much love, no notes.
Take care, friends and fiends. <3

 moredena is no longer with us, thanks to a criminal crashing into her and Jirris's car during a high-speed chase. She was a favorite artist of mine for ages, and though I did not know her well, I did appreciate the humor she brought to her particular corner of the fandom.

If you would like to know more, and especially if you can provide financial assistance, please read the journal from  jirris here:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10589023

Solidarity with Ukraine. I have sent what monetary support I am able to. I can only hope it is meaningful in some small way.

To my Russian friends on here. I doubt you wanted your mad leader's war on a nation that presented negligible threat. Ukraine had no interest other than being its best democratic self. How the f-- else did it end up with a television actor as its leader?

An actor who has shown his deep love for his nation. Volodymir Zelenskyy is my new modern hero. He may not be Rambo, but he loves his country none the less.

Путин -- Гитлер

The Underarm Incident, 1981 -- Australia (Yellow/Green) vs. New Zealand (Tan) One-Day International Cricket

I've watched some pretty awful stuff in sports over the years,
but this was one of the most craven, heinous examples of ill sportsmanship I've ever seen.

The TV commentator Richie Benaud's reaction at the end is glorious, as was the Australian wicket-keeper protesting his captain's decision, then making a point of apologizing to the opposing team's batsmen after it was over. Bless you, Rod Marsh.

I'm into sports because I love the drama -- but I love it more when it's borne of true sportsmanship and not chicken-s**t maneuvers like this one!

Here's a fun Q&A with  pandajenn - video-edited by  telbert

One of my best friends in town, Nova, passed away from COVID-19 overnight. She had been battling numerous medical issues over the years, and yet it never dampened her creative spirit. She was creating new stories right up until the time that she became too ill to continue.

She was a dear heart to me, and an inspiration for my own creative urges and in dealing with the bad stuff of life in general. I'm incredibly sad that this was the thing that caused her demise, but I'm glad to have known her, and I will try my best to honor her by creating more things of my own, when I am able to do that again. She considered me family, and I felt likewise. I'll keep her in my heart until my own time comes.

I have just been educated, and I am glad for that.

Yes, this is a 2-1/2 hour long video. It's very thorough.
But... you only need to watch the first 6-7 minutes to understand the problem with folks saying Disney ripped off Tezuka's work.

Thanks to you, I know when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em,
and that love will turn you around. <3

Thanks for all the wonderful, passionate music you made for us all.

I'm so glad you came to a peaceful end, befitting your gentle personality.

RIP,  milgrove

One of my dearest, oldest friends in the fandom passed away this morning. He was family to me, even though we fell out of regular communication a few years ago. I'm going to miss his quirky sense of humor, his wit, and his fantastic imagination, and the deep bond we shared for so many years.

My deepest condolences go out to his family, to Anubis, and to all of you other folks out there who knew and loved Milgrove or JayTee, though I knew him best through the character we created together so many years ago -- Jay-chan, sister to Haystack.

Gonna miss you immensely, my dear friend. I hope you've moved on to a much better place. All of my love.

Some of the earliest Jim Henson creations and some seriously sadistic adverts... GLORIOUS.

I am immensely sad that one of the greatest architectural works of old has had parts of its essence destroyed, in just a few hours.

Notre-Dame Cathedral's woodwork, the gorgeous carvings that adorned its interior, its 800+ year-old timbers in the roof supports, the roof itself, and the majestic central spire. . . . . . . . . . .

all ash and splinters now. all gone. my heart is still breaking, even these many hours after having first heard of it.

yes, there are plenty of photographic records. the woodwork might even be replicated,
given enough money, time, and effort, but it will not be the original works.

we have all lost a beautiful thing, on 15 April, 2019. we have lost centuries of artistic heritage, forever.

I am not at all religious, but I recognize how enormous this venerated place of worship was, through all its 850+ years of existence.
I know how important its initial construction and design were to informing later architectural movements.

Notre-Dame was a fantastic treasure, and I will forever regret that I will never get to visit in person later on,
and feel the entire, immense weight of its centuries bearing down on me.

still, some of that would remain, for me, as major parts of the structure and numerous priceless artifacts and artworks were saved,
through the heroic efforts of 400 firefighters, one of whom was seriously injured while battling the blaze.

Godspeed to him in his recovery, and to Parisians, to lovers of art and architecture, and to the Church in recovering from this awful, terrible day.

weird, sort of sausage-shaped worlds, but still...

to the smallest viruses (80 nanometers across), we are like gas giants
in our frame of reference, those would be gas giants 1.25x the diameter of Jupiter, on the longest axis.

to E.coli (2 micrometers, or 2,000 nanometers), we're still pretty big --
more like as we'd perceive middling-sized moons or asteroids of roughly 1,700 km in diameter, or about half the size of our own Moon.

I have said previously that we're like universes, but I had an idea the the reality might be not quite so grand,
so I did some number-crunching and research his evening and found the real scale's a good bit smaller than "universe! "

still, it gives an idea of just how tiny the zillions of creatures that live on and within us really are, eh?

President Bush passed away last night around 10 PM Central, peacefully, at the age of 94.

I cast my first ever Presidential vote for him in his doomed 1992 campaign. I was very disappointed that H. Ross Perot likely cost Bush a second term, an was not nearly disappointed enough in Bush himself over the "no new taxes" pledge to NOT vote for him.

Bush's "kinder, gentler" vibe resonated hugely with me, and I still think the Americans with Disabilities Act was one of his most enduring achievements. He did a lot of good things during his tenure, and some not-so-good things, but I think he was overall a good man, very respectable and certainly a role model for the nation.

The New York Times has an excellent remembrance of President Bush here. I just spent the last hour reading it, and I feel better for having done so.

LINK >>> George Bush, 41st President, Dies at 94

Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of the wonderfully-surreal and funny cartoon series SpongeBob SquarePants, is no longer with us.

he passed away far too early, at age 57. may his works continue to delight and enlighten folks for many decades hence.

thank you for brightening the world with your immense imagination, heart, and fantastic knack for storytelling.

you're going to be sorely missed, but the worlds and characters you have created will endure,

the skies cried. and so did I.

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics.....bashing-trump/

Senator McCain passed away earlier today.

He was a man of immense character and conviction, one I've respected -- even as I've sometimes been bemused -- since I started following politics in my teens. I'm very sad to learn of his death.

I don't think the Senate will be seeing his like again for a very long time.

The New England Confectionery Company (NECCO) factory, which makes NECCO Wafers (I love 'em), Sweethearts (I've parodied 'em!), Mary Janes (delicious peanut-butter candies), and other iconic treats... shut down with little notice recently.

I hope someone can rescue this piece of our nation's history. I grew up loving these candies and would hate to see them go!

https://www.cnn.com/videos/cnnmoney.....ctory.cnnmoney

that was the preliminary diagnosis during my doctor visit this morning.

this is the "pinched nerve" about which I've been complaining for the last two years, and lately, it's gotten bad enough that I may drop things from the affected hand if am not paying strict attention to it. it's also why I have not been drawing much, lately, because the two fingers affected on my drawing hand are the thumb and forefinger -- namely, the ones that do most of the gripping and direction of the stylus. some days are better than others, and on those days, I try to get at least a little artwork done, but they've been a bit sparse, of late.

I'll know more, once I've seen a specialist. however, my GP has already advised me this will probably require spinal surgery. he impressed upon me that the situation is very serious, and seemed astounded (and not a little disgusted) when I told him another doctor at the same practice had told me to "find a different sleeping position" a year prior.

the prospect of undergoing any sort of spinal surgery makes me extremely nervous, but the prospect of having more pain and discomfort and less usage of my dominant hand far outweighs that.

I'm on extra meds for diabetes, now. fasting blood sugar was abnormally high. we'll see what Januvia can do for me.

finally, there is a persistent sore in my cheek, near a damaged tooth -- the tooth's been scraping at the cheek lining for months, though it's only been occasionally painful. lately, I've noticed there are a few tiny, firm nodules in the area that I don't recall being there before. it may just be scar tissue -- that is the most likely situation -- but I had a couple of episodes of leukoplakia (a pre-cancer) back when I was still using smokeless tobacco, and my family has a long history of skin and other soft-tissue cancers. it's prudent to have an ENT specialist investigate further, just to make sure this is not cancer.

I will keep you posted on how things proceed. I'm waiting for calls back from the two specialists' offices to set up visits.

for now, I'm going to get some rest. work was good, but this day had already grown very long, even before I stepped in to start my shift.

KFC, on running out of chicken in most of their UK stores, recently:

http://money.cnn.com/2018/02/23/new.....ken/index.html

...will be deconstructing cities on the big screen?!

I honestly don't know how to feel about this!

KO passed away in his home last night. I don't have any further information, other than that his mother and sister are making arrangements.

KO was one of the key folks who held our local furry group, NARF, and Rocket City Fur Meet together in their early years, and he was always kind and willing to help folks out when they needed it. I regret that I wasn't able to keep in better touch with him.

RIP, KO. You'll be sorely missed by lots of folks near and far.

(modified from this: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/162361/gyoza-sauce/ )

1/3 cup rice vinegar

1/2 cup soy sauce or tamari, pick your fave of Chinese or Japanese styles or others! -- can be low-sodium if needed

1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flake*
1 tsp sesame oil*
* (can replace with ~1 1/2 tsp chili sesame oil, like S&B "La-Yu" brand)
* (can omit the chilli altogether, if you need -- but the sesame is essential to the taste)

3 cloves of minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/3 cup thinly-sliced fresh green onions

combine all ingredients, then stick into fridge and wait at least 15 minutes for flavors to marry and have many children.

it's hella delicious, and makes enough for dealing with a few dozen gyoza.