well its been 2 years and im still alive but i need to get checked every year for the rest of my life and 2-3 trips to the cancer clinic every year.
i am currently cancer free but its hereditary so its not a matter of if but of when it will come back.

outside of face book and my roommates i have seen my friends all of 5 times since the day i was diagnosed with cancer.

cancer has left me with severe depression, and soul crushing loneliness.
It has left me broken in so many ways. yet i maintain the guise that everything is alright.
i seriously believe that even though it is gone that its still killing me. only slower :(

the surgery was successful.
but my lymph nodes tested positive
at the time of this journal i have finished my 4th chemo treatment and have 8 more to go

3 days every other week followed by shots 2 times every alternate week to keep my white cells up

it has bean hell and i know what it feels like to be an actual zombie from this experience

thank god for family members and there churches
because other then them with the exception of 1 or 2 friends i have had almost 0 support from my friends
during this crappy year .

makes me wonder if im that shitty a person


i...... don't know even why im writing this i guess im just in kind of a crappy mood right now
i do apologize i know no one wants to read about me whining about my chemo :/

To any who read this:
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this holiday season.
I have bean diagnosed with colon cancer.
And will be spending Christmas in the hospital having it removed.

Thank you.
And marry Christmas.