about 13 hours to go guys. My mystery box auction ends at midnight tonight central time. The box has all sorts of fun stuff from small toys to collectibles. I tried to put together something fun for everyone. Its a large 12x12x5 1/2 inch size box

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/169...../#cid:97608548

Please go check out  Ellie-Fennec fundraiser to help out the shelter pets. Even if it's a dollar that can buy a puppy or kitty a can of food or new toy. ^^ If you can't donate now please spread the word.

http://www.gofundme.com/Iamalivedogrescue

yep going to be open pretty much forever for commissions and have no limit on slots. I need to fix up my car so I need to start saving. So let me know if you guys are interested. Thanks so much. ^^

Sadly I bring bad news again. Not so much about me but about my uncle. He was killed in a horrible hit and run accident a few days ago. I wasn't close to him having only met him once but I am close to his brother and his family. This has come to a huge shock to us all as he was only 55. His name was David Benton and you can find the news reports about it but basically an asshole struck my uncle while he crossed the street. Then the driver proceeded to drag him with the car. David was believed to have died on impact. There is someone in custody as being the driver of the car. He is being questioned about the incident. I don't know why it happened and it probably has someone to do with drugs and or alcohol but I don't know anything. Any prayers and loving thoughts for my Uncle Dallas and Family right now would be most appreciated. And prayers for the man who hit my uncle. I know it's strange to say that but I know this was not on purpose and I just feel that he should be offered the same mercy and love from me as anyone else in this world.

For now I just will be there for my family as much as I can. If you have loved ones out there tell them I love you as often as you can. You never know when that I love you could be the last one. I think if we say it more then our world can benefit just a little bit more.

I will be posting pictures of some things I will have for sale in the next few days so keep your eyes open for that. Also all drawing commissions colored or black and white, badges included, are 5$. My larger poster size drawings are only 10$ as well as any of my sculpey things.

Why the sale? Well I want to be nice for one and two I'm moving. Yep I'm moving in a few months in the some new roommates. I am just trying to save up some money before I move and to help out with some expenses. Thanks guys :)

So sadly tff 2015 is almost over. One more day. I have finally seen Drama Lama but have yet to meet him. Buddy has been good at hiding too lol. I think Telephone is playing a ninja this year. We know she is here but I haven't seen her yet. We have been trying to stalk her. Hehe

But I have finally met an adorable angel dragon called Cherry Blossom. She is so so cute and sweet. So far things have been going pretty well. Saw lots of good furs and met some amazing people. Got to meet  FoxAmoore again and totally fan girled. I tried to remain calm but come on it's Fox Amoore. Lol. Had another cool surprise tonight. My sister in law invited a very cool fur to have a drink and then come to the room for a couple of other drinks. Not just any fur but  Schecter . We became friends with him a few TFFs ago and now consider him a friend. It was funny to come into the room and see a very recognizable pair of feet and a certain black and red wolf sitting there. We had fun. Not ready to go home just yet but it will be nice to go home tomorrow.

So I am off to Texas Furry Fiesta tomorrow. Sparky and Lucky will be here tonight and we will be going to have fun. I will be Meeting Star Bunny and Coyote at the con. This will be so much fun I can't wait. See you guys there ^^

If you saw my last journal I was telling everyone about a job interview I had coming up. Well as the title suggests I went in today and I got the job. :)

WOOT WOOT party time

I will be working for LegoLand Discovery Center and the Sea Life Aquarium. I will mostly be at Lego Land. I am so so excited. I get to host kids parties and I am trying to be a summer teacher at Sea Life here in the next few months. Bonus is I get in for free to both places if i want to hang out for the day and I get free passes after working for a few weeks. I'm so happy. I start next week ^^

So I thought I would hare some amazing news today. Crossing my fingers it works out but I got a call back from the Sea Life Aquarium and they want to have an interview with me next week. I am surprised I got the call actually. I mean I applied and I had my hopes that I would but I wasn't 100% sure I would hear back from them. This is an amazing aquarium and they do such wonderful things for conservation. In fact I got to visit the turtles they rescued last time I was there. I love this place and if I get the job I honestly would be happy selling tickets all day but I am hoping I can work with the tour groups and or the animal exhibits. I would be happy with anything though. I am still so excited. I haven't gotten the job and still praying about it but I think there is a little light at the end of the tunnel. -crosses fingers- I will give you guys an update as soon as I hear something.

I'm lost and scared and right now I feel like a tiny puppy whose being kicked around and forced to stay and put up with this shit.

Depression is a horrible nasty monster. I'm not suicidal, in fact I'm scared of death, but I just want the bullshit to end. I am stuck in a never ending cycle it seems that won't turn for the good. I was starting to look into schools and try to turn my life around after the bullshit way I lost my job. So I was just starting to recover from that mess when now I have been put shoved into the middle of this battle......no all out war between my families. I feel like one of those little toys kids fight over and I feel like my arms are going to finally just rip off.

It's complicated but let me see if I can sum up. This is mainly between my sister in way and my brother's family. My sis in law has been through a rough life. I'm not saying she is perfect and she has messed up pretty big. I mean has done some things she shouldn't, drugs and partying while she has kids, that sort of thing. Her and I even sat on her porch one night ( the kids were not at home) and she smoked a bit of weed. She offered me some yes but I turned it down not wanting any. ( Yeah I turned down weed no big deal. Never smoked it never will. I don't have a problem with those that do) Anyways. My brother has been saying she has been doing alot more things than just weed. I have never seen her do more than that so I don't know. Maybe she has I really don't know. Now I'm not saying my brother is a liar or anything. In fact he recently told she was smoking outside while the kids were out with him in the yard when she agreed to watch her two boys and and brother's younger son. I agree if you have children and you go smoke and aren't being responsible for them that is wrong. No child should be exposed to that or neglected. The problem is I never saw it. I wasn't there and I can't say what she is and isn't doing. how do i know my brother isn't just mad at her and is making this up? What if he is right?

Now he calls me and asks if he can mention my name to CPS about the one time my sis did offer me weed. He wants to call and report her so she is corrected. Meaning she goes to jail. is my guess. He is saying if she gets her kids taken away you will do whatever it takes to get them back and she won't smoke anymore. I don't know if that will. Some people don't. I told him that i really don't want to be mentioned. Not because I am taking sides but because I haven't seen everything and I keep getting different stories from everyone. I just want to stay out of the middle of all this and decide for myself what I feel is the truth. My brother full on bitched and is pushing me to say something if the CPS people call and ask some questions. He is like I'm not forcing you into something you don't want to do. So I told him no I don't want to be mention. Then he got mad at me. i told him he was pushing me and he is like yeah I'm pushing you because You know it's the right thing to do. And by saying nothing you are agreeing to what she is doing.

This PISSED me off. No that is not what it means and I won't have other people tell me what to think because they want me to agree with them. He was like fine whatever and hung up. This wasn't even face to face. He yelled at me on the phone. I don't know what to do. I don't know all the details and I don't feel right about jumping into something I don't know anything about.

Opps saw how long this journal was and I'm sorry didn't mean to go on so long I just was really upset and I guess need some advice or tips if anyone has an idea what to do.

 chickenboii is having a raffle that ends soon. come check him out and give him some love ^^

Never have I felt so hurt and cared so little about my job right now. I know it's my last day but I have a headache, I feel like throwing up and I also feel like throwing my apron at the manager and yelling I quit. This the first time I have really felt like this in a job and I am worried. Sure I have had jobs with problems before but this is not like me. I just want to cry and hide from the world. I know I will find something else soon and corporate will be getting a call from me on this but I hate feeling like this so much.

Well with the news on my car and a stressful day from another job I have I thought I was going to try and make this day a little better. Yeah I was wrong. Life went nope I'm going to make your bad day into a day from hell.

I was hired onto Starbucks in my local Target as a REGULAR worker NOT seasonal. Apparently I was very wrong. Ok I can deal with it not being seasonal whatever but it's how I was told. My manager walks over and right on the sales floor not in the office she was like we need to talk about your employment. You were hired as seasonal and we don't have the hours to keep you. So Saturday night is your last shift. I was like WTF not cool. I told her I was hired on as a normal employee but she is like no they had a talk with you about it being seasonal and you signed a paper saying you understood that so I'm sorry. Oh and if you don't show up for those shifts I will mark you as unhire able. You also had several coachings about your performance. I don't remember any coachings or anything like that. It's fucked up how they did this. I was even on next weeks schedule. So yeah Target SUCKS BALLS to work for. They lied to me all this time and having a management come to me like they did today I feel is very unprofessional.

So the great job search is on again. I have a few places I will try close to home but I have to figure out how I'm going to get my car back up and running first. -crawls under my blankets and hides from the world-

Right now my oil pump has gone out it looks like and I have no idea if it's going to be hard to fix or if I have to take it somewhere how expensive it will be. I am already looking at 400 to replace the bushings ( it's part of the suspension) and now this. I feel like crying right now. I pay to God it's not the pump but everything is pointing to the pump going bad. I don't have the money right now to just dump 1000 dollars into this car for everything it needs. I just needed it to last until I get my tax return check and then I can fix it. Until then if anyone knows anything about VW Beetles or cars in general I could use the help. Otherwise I will just have to try to do as many commissions as I can to fix my car.

Yep it's that time again. Thought I would post my current Texas Furry Fiesta Convention News

Hotel:
InterContinental Dallas

Arrival/Departure:
Arriving on friday and leaving on sunday

Sharing a room with:
Agroup of silly furs

Can I visit your room?
possibly but have to have everyone staying in the room agreed to it first

Who do you hang out with:
Everyone staying in my room and anyone else wanting to hang with us

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
running around in suit just checking out everything. Going to the bar at some point

What/where will you be eating?
food we bring mostly

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yeah I'm cool with groups getting together and invading the local food places.

Gender:
Female

How old are you:
31

Preference:
boys :) but girls are fun to hang out with

Can I take your picture?
Yep Yep

Can I give you stuff?
Yes and I like to give things too when I have things

Are you an Artist:
Yep yep

Do you do free art?
yes sometimes

Do you do trades?
yes

Do you take commissions?
Yes

Are you a Fursuiter:
Oh yes!

How many Fursuits are you going to bring/wear:
Hmmm will have to think who to bring

Which Characters:
Gopher and a secret character.......shhhhh

Attending parties:
I don't know. Maybe if I get invited

Do you dance?
nope I have two left paws

Do you drink:
Yeppers

Can I buy you a drink:
Yes! I plan on going out for a few drinks at the bar with my sister in law or friends if you want to join

How can I find you?
Find me in suit. When not in suit look for my badges :) I will probably have on pink ears and a tail with googles. I may even have a new puppet friend as well

Are you nice?
Very much so. -gives you random hug-

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just call out one of my Fursona's names- Gopher/ GopherProtocol, Aqua or one of my gamer names. Jewel will get my attention pretty fast.

Are you attending any panels:
If I find ones I really want to go to. Not sure what panels are going on.

How do I identify myself to you:
Just tell me. You can say you found me on FA

Personality Type:
Sweet, kind, loves to have fun, loves to have random moments.

How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset):
I will just let you know politely that I am busy but usually I am always ready to hang out with people. I usually go to my room to sit and relax a bit. Honestly this little corgi loves new friends.

Anything to add:
I love random hugs. Even if you don't; don't be shy to come up and wave and say hello. Also looking to go swimming and finding my Furry Siesta pals again. I miss you guys. I will also have my little sketch book with me if you want to add to it.

I just found out from my mom that between Christmas and this moths bills that rent and a few things like the Internet are going to be really hard for her to pay off. I don't care so much about the Internet but rent is important. I have 4 autographs that I can sell to help my mom out.

Bruce Boxlightner ( tron)
Cindy Morgan (yuri)
Both of these are on a Tron legacy data disc that still lights up

I have Jewel Staite ( Kaylee from Firefly)
Julie Benz ( Darla from Buffy the vampire slayer)
Graham Colton ( really good singer from Oklahoma)

None of these are personalized and two of them have protective covers. If I can make about 80 to 100 dollars for all of them that would help my mom out a bunch. I will even include a free drawing or sculpey item from me for you.

Commissions are still open. Thanks guys for taking a look at this journal. I will be happy to post pictures as well.

I don't know them or the struggles they are going through but a very sweet mom and daughter came through my line today. I work retail and was at a register today. Sadly the mom lost her middle aged daughter only a few months ago. They had a special needs daughter that the doctor said wouldn't live passed 2 years. The mom told me she had made it to 10. That is amazing and the way the mom was talking her daughter named Makeena ( I think that's it's spelled) was a truly special gift. I wanted to just hug her hearing the struggle she is going through with such a loss. I don't know the loss of a child but I know the pain of loosing someone close. I Just Wanted To Pray That Her Family Is Comforted This Holiday season. To anyone else struggling through a loss whether it is a pet or person I want to give you all hugs right now. -hugs-

My brother could use some prayers right now. He is sick and it looks like a really bad case of the flu. He's sore, weak and in alot of pain. I'm at the urgent care with him waiting to hear if it's the flu or not. Poor guy. I was I could do more but so far just bringing him here and helping him with stuff is all I can do

Damn it I swear it feels like I have constantly gotten snapped at and In trouble for every little thing today. I don't care if my nephew is 2 and not feeling good. That is no reason for him to give me a huge fit and have a huge attitude with me for every little thing I do. When he keeps bumping a char into me and I ask him nicely to stop and he won't and then I get in trouble because I had to snap at him to finally get him to stop. I'm just so tired of being the one that is the outsider in my family. I'm trying to change but jeez it's getting old. Sorry for the rant I am just needed a safe place to vent a moment. I don't know today I just feel like I'm in a funk. Maybe I'm getting sick and feeling some depression. I also have to work today so that sucks. Sigh. The joys of retail and serving coffee to people that can't wait a few fucking hours to get their stuff.

So I found a news story on my friend that just passed away yesterday. Sadly it was in a really bad way. He jumped from a bridge and was hit by several cars. Now I am not excusing what he did and I do I really do feel bad for the people involved, the people in the cars, but really cruel people can shut the hell up. Here is what someone posted to the news report online

"He ruined thousands of people's morning commutes, especially the people that watched in horror as he was struck by multiple vehicles. It's sad that he wanted to end his life, but I do not have sympathy for people who wish to traumatize innocent bystanders by publicly killing themselves."

This makes me mad. I understand what he did was not the way to go but he did not do this to publicly kill himself. He was hurting badly and unless someone know the whole story comments like this are cruel and unneeded. I'm so sorry I'm sorry for the other drivers involved but saying stupid comments like this is wrong. My friend did not do this to ruin anyone's day. He just felt this was his only way out at the time. He is at peace now and that's that. Until you know the full story on any situation wait on making any kind of comment to something.

Ok sorry for the rant but this is a touchy subject and felt it should be addressed.

Sadly early this morning I had a very good and close friend I knew since high school pass away. It was a pretty big shock. He took his own life. I didn't realize he was that depressed. Me and and brother were trying to help but sadly he was it was just too much. He is at peace now. He leaves behind a little very cute 4 year old girl and a wife. Right now there is not much that can be done other than just keeping his family in your prayers. My brother is taking this pretty hard having been the closest to him during this time. I could use a few prayers for him to. Thanks guys.

Zombietox is having a sale right now on the plush she makes. Super cute and great quality. Go check her out before all the spots are gone.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6251231/

So I had some weird allergic reaction we can't figure out. The doctors are confused and I can't think of anything at my old work that could have caused it. Now I'm sitting here with my hand swollen and the rash starting to come back after the steroid meds I was given. Those helped but now that I am not taking them it's starting again. Now I have to figure out what I am allergic too. I may have to go to an allergy specialist. Ugh not what I had in mind for fun. -sigh- at least I don't have to pay for this since I am fairly certain it started at work

So for Halloween I decided to open up my art for trades for the kids. Sort of my Trick or Treat thing. There are lots of kids that cannot afford art and so I would like to offer my art for those kids. It doesn't matter their art skills either. They can request several art pieces if they want too. I am not just doing this for kids either. It's open for everyone.

Price- one of my art pieces for something they draw. If anyone is interested let me know. ^^

I've just changed jobs and need a little bit of money to help support myself until I start getting paid again. I have super cheap art and basically all my drawings are 5 dollars right now.

Yep you heard me right 5 dollars for any drawing and no charge for color. I also have some stuff I am going to be selling as well. I have some autographed items as well as some very nice art I got that i just don't really have room for anymore.

The autographs I have are

Jewel Staite- This is of her Kaylee Character from Firefly.
Julie Benz- Darla from Buffy
A tron Data disc ( still works and lights up) with Bruce Boxlightner and Cindy Morgan's Autographs on it. Tron and Yuri

I will post pictures in the morning of them and the other art I have available if anyone is interested.