I recently noticed that my violin case is getting moldy even though I clean it with a cloth and rubbing alcohol regularly; and the handle broke/broke some time ago, making it difficult to transport the instrument, there is no way to transport it without an appropriate case;

my concern is mold coming into contact with the violin compromising the wood: Violin is a very sensitive instrument
so I'm opening 3 slots colored sketch for 60$ to cover the cost of a new and more resistant case: any questions just call me at DM and if you can't buy it, sharing it with groups and friends already helps me;

Thank you all in advance. Remembering that my commissions are open!

> exemple https://www.furaffinity.net/gallery.....ketchs-Colored

> Commission > https://devyshireart.carrd.co/

I wanted to thank everyone who has helped me over the past year whether it's buying commissions, sharing in groups with friends or just being here listening and leaving nice comments.
Thank you so much for your love and support, and for the opportunity to draw your incredibly beautiful characters.
May 2023 be a wonderful year for all of us and may I continue to evolve as an artist and person and continue to deliver good works
Thank you all so much again from the bottom of my heart for letting me work on what I love the most.
You are amazing

Oh my god i feel like the luckiest and happiest person in the world , i do not even have enough words to describe how i feel right now just thank you so much to everyone who helped and supported us i am thrilled
I look like a high school teenager in love but you have no idea how important this is and how much we wait for this day; It's been 5 years of a long-distance relationship and what seemed to be something without commitment ended up bringing us together a lot; I'm very sentimental but I'm genuinely feeling great, again thank you so much everyone

I'm not sure what to say but today I complete 23 years of life
A lot has happened since last year , I managed to move out of my mother 's house , I 'm managing to support myself with commission money and I 'm undergoing treatment for my mental disorders
I am grateful to everyone who commissions and supports me, thank you so much for everything

Today I went to the neuropsychologist and in this and in the next sessions she will give me tests for ADHD and even autism
This week was one of the hardest I've ever been through.
False friends, family fights, clueless clients \rude, self-demand and sabotage with a feeling of insufficiency and with each passing day the medicines are getting more expensive, doing this to the point of interfering with my work [I even apologize for the delay]
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice to remain an independent artist among other things.
But regardless of anything new problems happen more often and that doesn't stop me from getting discouraged and it's hard to take care of mental health with so much going on at the same time...
I just hope this passes soon and I can get back on my feet.

Thank you all for helping me whenever you can it's just hard

This month marks 1 year since I started taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist
I can't tell you how important it was for me to move and even leave my mother's house to be independent
It all went by fast [that's good right] that sometimes I see the slowmotion scenes of the most critical moments I went through to get where I am here
It's definitely not easy
Changes in medicine, in behavior too, money to buy these medicines, intense crises of crying and panic and even the side effect that makes me feel nothing, isolate myself and be more indifferent to others
I don't know how long this will last
There's a lot inside me that needs to be resolved [and that hurts bro.. poking at the healed wound reliving your traumas and making you feel vulnerable is a long, painful process that changes our perspectives] but I hope that soon I'll come be a "normal" person and manage to be happy
[anything just see my old journals]

i just wanna be a good artist
i just wanna be a good artist
i just wanna be a good artist
i just wanna be a good artist
i just wanna be a good artist
i just wanna be a good artist ...

I will need to have detailed vision exams and my grade has increased considerably
Even because I use a special lens [I have myopia and astigmatism]
I went to an optician to see if they had an approximate budget but the rommended lens for people who work directly with a computer was around 1k7 BRL [Approximately $330]
I already expected that the glasses would be expensive but not so much leaves the upset and not believing in such a high price ..[considering that everything is expensive in this damn country]
Anyway, I want to add an amount to make a good entry and look for another optic and frame model that is similar to this one
[can't get this model out of my head]

Anyone who can bid on my ychs and adopts will help a lot [even if it's sb], if you can't buy please share with friends!

> https://twitter.com/Devyshirehell/s.....036352/photo/1

I was talking to my psychologist this week about the side effects of meds I've recently started and she's worried I'm going to relapse into depression again.
Apathy, insensitivity and the need for isolation are more present than ever.
In fact, my anxiety attacks have gone down considerably, but the feeling part too…so even if something bad and sad happens, I can't feel anything.
I feel like my feelings are trapped in a box inside and although I don't feel them I "hear" them making noise disturbing me all day, the only time I can make them "shut up" is when I sleep
I hope that, even losing this sensitivity to express myself, one day I will be able to convey with art or music what I feel [I am taking violin lessons] and that one day my music will deafen these bad thoughts and my drawings will give me enough comfort and bring me peace

A few weeks ago I created a telegram group dedicated to helping artists in the dissemination of ychs, auctions and adopts of nsfw nature (+18) and possible buyers to be interested in these arts
If you feel comfortable please join us and please read the rules!

PLEASE DO NOT ENTER IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!
IF I DISMISS THIS I WILL BAN YOU

https://t.me/groupychartistnsfw

I made a decision that I didn't want to mix my personal things with work anymore, so I created a channel to vent thoughts and post melancholic and more abstract drawings than I usually do when I'm in crisis.

I want to make an addendum first, I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety for at least 10 years of my life and I am being treated with psychiatric therapy and medication, but even doing everything right does not prevent me from having a relapse and feeling insecure and having severe crises of panic and anxiety.

I'M NOT ROMANTICIZING DEPRESSION | ANXIETY OR ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER, IF YOU HAVE IT PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL HELP!

The channel has no intention of "influencing" anyone to anything!
It's just a place for me to express myself and use art as an artifice to take this annoyance out of me

If you are sensitive to this type of content or have easy triggers I suggest not entering for your own good otherwise
You are welcome if you want to know what happens to me in everyday life when I am not working. I will only share something here if it is urgent

https://t.me/sheepcuddie

And I'm doing a refsheet from scratch again because I didn't like the final result of the first one [ the client liked it but my sense of perfectionism ruined everything and I wouldn't settle down until I did a job where my sense said it was at least "acceptable"] 🤡🤡🤡
Sometimes I hate my self-critical sense, because I think everyone can make mistakes and it's normal but ME making mistakes is UNACCEPTABLE
The "good side" of perfectionism is that you can always improve but I can't see my progress and nothing I do is enough for me
It's terrible to feel mediocre, I'm going to need a lot of therapy and patience to get this kind of thinking out of my head that was imposed on me since childhood..
But my intention is to do a good job and for my client to be satisfied with the art [and if he doubts that I will exceed his expectations]

Over the course of 5 years I changed my stage name on all social networks but unfortunately the FA doesn't allow me to change the name, so I decided to create another account for it
BUT I WON'T ERASE THE FIRST like Goatdevilwhite17 [if I do that I lose my range]

But if you can follow me there it will help a lot :> https://www.furaffinity.net/user/devylinnshire/

Well , yesterday I went to the psychiatrist and it was the first time that I could not stand it and I ended up crying in the session , she was worried because my depression stood out this time , like a kind of relapse , she commented that I am isolating myself too much , my self-criticism also makes me feel insufficient and that I should measure it, after all, no one is perfect and strong all the time and it's ok to ask for help from time to time when I just need to be less stubborn and more attentive to myself, after all, if I don't take care of myself, nobody will do this for me

She added another medicine for me, Venlafaxine and said that it can help me while I'm in this emotional "low", yesterday I had to buy this medicine and others that I had finished and that are part of my treatment and my god how expensive it was discounted...but ok

So that's it, today was the first day I took it and to be honest it made me extremely sleepy [or is it because it's cold and I turn into a bear in winter and I sleep a lot] but it's still too early to see the side effects, according to the medicine the effects start from 4 days of use

I want to finish the arts that are pending, once again I apologize for the inconvenience and delays but I'm trying to take care of myself

Since I changed my signature I also decided to add values in Euros and in Mexican currency to my price list
soon I will change the art examples on the list but that's it

I will fix my linktree pricing link later the current one is this one >

‼️✨ https://devyshireart.carrd.co/ ✨ ‼️

I don't know how to put into words how bad I feel
psychologically speaking, my seizures have escalated a lot and are severe enough to the point that I really want to give up, sell my characters and erase everything about myself.
Last year in this period there was a ridiculous and out of context cancellation that clueless people made against me and well that affects me to this day,
I know I should be happy to have a home to live independently, people who like my work, family and friends, but no matter what I still find a way to be unhappy and think I don't deserve anything I've achieved.
It's surreal sabotage and it's hard to believe that a day will pass
I don't know what's wrong with me and even with therapy and medicine it never ends
I find my art mediocre, boring and like everyone could do 1000X better than me
I feel complaining with a full belly
I imagine that for you who accompany me you must think "wow again she's crying and complaining around, what a drama" but it hurts inside..
It hurts to know that I'm not behaving like I should and it's hard to find someone understanding enough to give you a hug and say "hey it's going to be okay, it's just a bad time"
I know dealing with mentally unstable people is exhausting and irritating.
It's very tiring, and believe me, I try every day to have enough strength to get out of bed and deliver a minimally adequate job, but these days I'm falling apart.
I don't know what to do even though I have a lot to do
Sorry for not being the artist you deserve.

bro I bought my single box bed at the beginning of the year and it broke, I'm trying to go after the warranty and etc but everything points out that I'll need to buy another one, here in São Paulo it's extremely cold and it's not cool to sleep on the floor [ especially me who came out of a bad flu a few days ago]
The bed rails were made of a cheap wood that doesn't support my weight and every time I sleep on it I wake up with terrible back pain.
So I'll do some ychs and adopts to raise some money to buy a better bed as soon as possible

It's been hard to put into words what I feel
I don't know if it's a side effect of the medicine or menstrual period close to the hormones in the flower of the skin
but i'm not fine
psychologically speaking
my crises are severe and i don't want my friends to be some kind of emotional dumpster for me
I don't want to look for them when I have problems
that's why i keep them to myself
I don't want to be a burden to anyone
it's just hard to bear it all
I'm isolating myself and being alone because I'm afraid to trust people
I feel crazy outside the asylum
I feel lonely
i have everything i ever wanted but i'm still not happy.. clearly there's something wrong with me
and it's not like i ain't tryin' cause i am
But inside there's a lot of noise in my head and the only moment of peace I have is when I sleep
i feel broken
and I know it's exhausting to deal with a person with psychological problems
I just want to get out of this ...

I'm recovering well from the flu, I can breathe better and I don't have a fever and I can even sleep better

I just feel bad that I didn't work on the pending arts this week that I was sick, but it's no use doing something when it's bad so I'll make up for lost time

Tomorrow I want to start the gym [it was supposed to start last week but the flu got in the way]
and being very honest I am excited for this, my anxiety attacks are very critical and I hope that going to the gym will help to reduce it, towards the end of this month I am going to the psychiatrist to change the medication as the Buspirone did not have good effects [Only effects bad collateral]
Then that's it

I can't even remember the last time I got sick
the flu remains critical
I went to the local market and bought honey and some things to help with immunity [the flu epidemic is so bad that even the owner of the pharmacy down the street is sick and had to close the shop]
but I don't know if I'll be able to work today, my eyes hurt from the brightness of the monitor not to mention I'm sneezing a lot
so i'll rest and watch something

Today I woke up with the flu.. I couldn't even sleep well because my nose was clogged
I can't do the arts without sneezing or a runny nose every 10 minutes and fatigue bothers me
The weather here and São Paulo is very unstable with cold and hot days randomly and ends up harming your health
I can't get sick.. I have a lot to do
I already bought flu medicine and vitamins to help
I hope that tomorrow I will be better to work
sorry for the inconvenience

The psychiatrist changed my medication, which with the side effects made my personal and professional behavior even more difficult.
The crisis hits hard and I can't even have the strength to do something simple [and I don't like to work like that because it influences my art a lot] making me feel guilty for being totally unproductive

Especially in this last week, I haven't been able to work properly and I've been losing reach on the platforms I use to promote my work and receive commissions, not to mention that in the last few days the number of subscribers to my channel has been dropping and this makes me super upset [as if what I do is not good enough and among other ways of thinking that are saboteurs]

And being very honest the only time I have peace is when I sleep, anxiety talks to me all day and
I'm afraid of succumbing to severe depression again

About adopting Dex [chinchilla] it was quite unexpected even for me [even though it was a little stressful at first dealing with a new pet] I believe it's temporary and in some moments I see that he saves me from myself and these bad thoughts that remain surrounding me after all he only has me to take care of.

I'm just afraid that I'm not good enough for my chinchilla and for you as an artist

Anyway
I want to go back to the gym, I stopped because of moving house and city but I see that it helped me a lot last year and I want to continue [next week I will check prices to get back as soon as possible]

I hope this month of May is good for all of us

So please bear with me, I'm doing my best to carry on
any doubt just call me

I opened a YCH.art account to sell my adopts, auctions and ych


You can follow me there > https://ych.art/user/devylinn_shire

I'll never understand why people who are bothered by furry content have the extreme need to speak up in groups and sites furrys to say that she doesn't like furrys; it's the same thing as me not liking tomatoes and making the marketer who grows them hell; that's what makes me come to the conclusion that there are people who love to be masochists or who love wasting their time wanting attention

Guys can anyone help? Dexter (the chinchilla) ended up breaking the only water trough he had and the spare I bought doesn't have a delivery date (not to mention they are kind of expensive); I'm offering halfs colored sketches for 30$ to buy reserve drinking fountains until tomorrow
Dm Devyshirehell on twitter

Exemple https://www.furaffinity.net/view/46672305/