Refsheets start at $90
Icons start at $50
Colored sketches start at $60
For more prices, see my board!

https://devyshirearts.carrd.co/
Telegram DM Devyshiire
Discord: .devylinndeviine

I'm taking some slots for the month of August.
Simple refsheets start at $90.
Full refsheets start at $150/200.
Half bodies [flats] start at $100 and shaded ones start at $140.

Any questions, just DM me on Telegram [@Devyshiire] or on Discord .devylinndeviine

Well, I quit my job at the coffee shop. I couldn't adapt to the job and its demands, and it was causing me to suffer from burnout in less than a month. So I asked to leave. I'm going to my second to last shift and I feel at peace with my decision. But it's okay because today is Halloween and I've been "haunted" all month. Saturday is my last shift and after that, well, I'll get back to doing commissions. I apologize to the customers that I couldn't finish the kinktuber on time... but that's it, it wasn't a lack of effort, it was just that I didn't adapt to the demands of the coffee shop, that happens.

Good morning my dears, a lot has happened in these last few weeks and as you may have noticed I disappeared for a while, it happened that in the first 2 weeks of this month I had an artistic block and I couldn't produce anything so I made the decision to look for a job on the side, unfortunately there's no way for me to support myself with artistic commissions alone, things are very expensive and I can't keep up with the pace but that doesn't mean I'll abandon art completely but rather that it will just be an extra income: this last week thank the stars I finally got a job and I'm in the trial period to work outside the home, obviously this will affect the waiting time for the arts, so I'll update my TOS - terms of service so that you're aware that the delay in commissions this time will be something to consider. About the job, I'm working as a barista in a café. This was my first week getting to know the place and the movement. I'm excited to start this job next week. The first few weeks will be difficult to get used to, but I hope to be able to keep my job and art in a balanced way in the long term. I really appreciate those who have been with me throughout this time. This is not goodbye, just a change of scenery, and I will continue to strive to deliver the art.

Some observations:

-- If you have any questions, just call me. [DM DeviineDevylline (Telegram) , Discord .devylinndeviine or send me a note]
-- If you have commissioned me and don't want to wait for an art, contact me so we can talk about it. I will do my best to respond quickly.
-- It is important to emphasize that this does not mean that I will abandon art completely, but that it will simply be an extra source of income.

I ended up leaving this out, but I added to my Terms of Service [TOS] more ''commission themes'' that may make some uncomfortable, such as extreme blood, vore, gore, macro/micro, paws, TF, etc. The demand for art is very low and I'm not in a position to refuse anything... because my bills are coming and I need to pay them: it doesn't mean I'm going to go over certain limits, if you have any questions, just read my card on what I draw, accept and don't accept to do.
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And for those who are going to judge me, I humbly ask that you come pay my bills first before giving your opinion on my life c;
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For those who don't like this because they feel uncomfortable and don't want to see it on the channel[TELEGRAM], I will put a sensitive content warning and blur the image, view at your own risk

This post is not open for discussion https://devyshirearts.carrd.co/#three

The company was going to change the work schedule to 12x36 but I live far away and depend on buses, trains and subways to get home and HR didn't approve it. They even tried to send me to the mall in my local city but there are no vacancies available. I was laid off due to lack of opportunity and not ability. But I can't help but feel sad.... I'll be back with the commissions on Thursday.

Hi dears, I have relevant news for you: well, in the coming days I'm going to be busy, I applied for a job as a delivery attendant and I'm in the trial period (I'll go through a 3-day test until I'm approved), today was the first day and it was very exhausting, but it was good to see new places and meet new people, I hope this experience helps me more with everyday situations, I'm not going to stop producing art, but until I get used to this routine I'm going to cut back on it because I need a financially stable income and unfortunately I'm not able to do that just with commissions, so that was the main reason for me to work outside the home, I'll continue making art, but less due to the new routine, if I don't answer right away I'll probably be working or resting, please be understanding.

So guys, we are having problems with the real estate agency and the owner of the house. The first problem was that they did not allow the installation of the air conditioning and did not even give a plausible justification and the fact that I wanted to install it is because Dexter (my chinchilla) cannot Being exposed to a high temperature is literally life-threatening for him, so my only option is to sell the wall AC and buy a portable one and I'm not going to get rid of my pet as if he were anything.
The second problem was in relation to the cooking gas, which had a leak because the valve was old and the piping was patched and this would eventually put our lives at risk if we hadn't taken action and called the gas technician to make the change. of the equipment [and I'm outraged that something like that wasn't inspected before we moved in]
And the third and final problem: this week we went to hire a new internet service but when the guy came here he couldn't install it because the cables in this house were compromised and only drilling into the wall would solve the problem.
We talked to the real estate agency so they could send a technician to investigate this and they even asked what type of internet we were going to put in [the choice being no disrespect to them]

The real estate technician came this morning to investigate the problem and found that the cables were clogged and were asking for "permission" from the owner to drill into the wall and carry out the installation OR place it on top of the house [given that there are other people in the building which also has wifi] and refusing to do any good for the property, but this is absurdity that we will not tolerate or go through
We make it clear in advance that we are digital artists and that we work with the internet, so it is unfeasible to purchase a basic plan.

On Monday we are going to make a complaint to procon [The Consumer Protection and Defense Foundation] to report this, if we need to sue, we will, we will put wifi here YES whether for good or for legal action.

I ended up not commenting on my current situation here but I will give a brief summary:

Last week on Thursday I was working at dawn and out of nowhere the floor started to burst for no reason in the kitnet I was renting [from what I understand the grout on the floor created a vacuum and expanded], thanks to lady bear she can pick me up and my boyfriend to stay with her for a few days and I had already informed the real estate agency and the union what was happening, we took our work equipment to her house and last Sunday we came back [until this point there was no response from the union], ironically We were going to move in 4 months because the lease contract expired
Due to the damage, it is not possible to repair the floor when we live there and also due to the lack of space, so the house would have to be empty anyway, not counting the sockets that were causing problems and it got to the point where   EdBwolf and I worked in shifts and as if this chaotic situation were not enough, the house's electrical wiring is also compromised to the point where the sockets ruin 2 power extenders with line filters, 3 beijamins and almost hit our work tables
I contacted the current real estate agency again and it was only on Thursday of this week that they sent someone to look at the damage to the apartment.
But luckily we found a very good place to rent and our application forms were accepted for rental and yesterday the contract was signed.
We are currently at my grandmother's house using her kitchen as a "temporary office" until we move to the new house and reconnect the power and assemble the furniture.

I'm scheduling the move for next week so if there are delays in the artwork or I don't respond on time it will be due to this

I will leave some links that I posted on my Telegram channel documenting my situation and my boyfriend's journal speaking his point of view

https://t.me/devy669/4956
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10852922

I really don't have words to express how apprehensive\desperate I am right now
I've been in poor health [sinusitis] these last few days, my boyfriend was fired because he injured his leg after spending hours without rest [the fault of the company that didn't provide the uniform], I'm not able to continue my treatment to receive my rights as an autistic person and Now last night I just received the news that my grandfather contracted Covid while he was working...

Honestly, I no longer know how to stay optimistic and think that everything will be fine and with the cliché that "just think about good things that will happen".
It's hard to stay hopeful when out of nowhere you get punched in the face with this terrible reality, it starts to open up gaps for me to start questioning that I'm not doing enough or right.
I know that I am trying hard and even going so far as to give up the characters that I created with so much care to have extra money and pay the bills... but clearly that isn't enough.

I really don't know what to think and just like that everything starts to crumble like a sandcastle and there's nothing that can be done to stop it.

I'm not a religious person but despite that I believe that benevolence and evil exist
and the saying that "nothing can get worse" is wrong... everything can always get worse

Sometimes I reread my old reports and think "wow, how did I get through that? and look where I am today..." but it's incredible how life takes a turn and out of nowhere when you roll the D20 dice you fall into 1, and deep down I want to believe that this is just a difficult moment and that it will pass, after all, life is a constant ordeal I know that, but the way I am now I feel like an ant being crushed by a giant

I don't know where I'm going with this, or what kind of solution can be achieved
but I'll probably lower art prices to get more demand and have more money in the next few days [I'll give you more information soon]
If you want to support with any amount I have a kofi too > https://ko-fi.com/devyshire

In any case, thank you for reading my rant.

Twitter has suspended my main account since last week claiming that I broke the rules [but it doesn't say which rule] and I can't appeal
please follow this secondary!


> https://twitter.com/DeviineDevylinn

And there goes more than 4 years of work in the trash... disheartening as hell honestly

I don't even know where to start, this week was very complicated but the good thing is that I finally had peace and I feel free.
Sit down and here comes a long story about me

I finally cut ties with my narcissistic mother!
Tuesday was the height of everything, I had a panic attack like I had never had before, to the point that I went to the hospital to take serum and a benzodiazepine to calm me down, she was threatening to come to my house and explain why. wanting more of my money, and knowing the person she would attack me verbally\psychologically\physically, it got to the point where she started spamming trigger messages and calling incessantly
Allan [   Edbwolf ] was the first person to witness an intense outburst, my screams were so shrill that he had to cover his ears because it disoriented him while he waited for me to calm down
I spent several moments with my hand on my head and with my legs crossed crying desperately as the crisis evolved into an outbreak to the point of breaking things and screaming|crying and I was seriously thinking about voluntarily hospitalizing myself for a few days
To anyone on the street or neighbors, the screams sounded like someone was killing me.
It got to the point that I didn't want to hold my cell phone without shaking, so Allan had my cell phone all day, any call\notification was enough for me to not want to look, shake and get nervous and almost throw the cell phone at the wall
So on Tuesday afternoon I went with him to my grandparents' house [and I was taking Dexter because there was a power outage and the air conditioning in my house didn't work and as I said this week, here in Brazil there was an extremely strong heat wave to the point of be dangerous for chinchillas] was where I talked to my grandparents and Allan showed me all the messages that their daughter was sending me and to the point where I freaked out: they stayed by my side because there were already times when they heard the things that the daughter does it and that was the last straw
Then we went to the veterinary hospital because I suspected that Dexter had hyperthermia due to the weather: he was hospitalized for 2 days but fortunately he is well and healthy and at home
After leaving him at the vet, I went to the hospital to report what happened to me.
On Wednesday I sent my "mother" an extremely detailed message saying that I didn't want any more contact because she doesn't recognize how much her actions hurt me and other people and I reinforced "it's getting to the point where Even your children can't deal with you, so either you start reflecting on your actions or you'll be left alone" and then I blocked everything
Yesterday I had weekly therapy with the psychologist and Allan participated in the session because as a person who really saw what my outbreak was like and how I was, it was important for her to be attentive and the doctor said "it's good that you were close to her at this delicate moment, in a outbreak, you never know what we can do with ourselves.”
I am talking to my brother [who unfortunately still lives with her] and he reported that she herself said “your sister died to me” [ironically the one who was killing me all these years was her and her narcissism, she prefers to think she is right than seek help].
My brother is very upset about the situation and he himself told me that he doesn't want to stay there and wants to live with our grandmother and in approximately 1 year he will be older and will be able to do whatever he wants, I sincerely support his decision, I didn't want to that he would go through this but as he said in one of our conversations "this is a canonical event in our lives as her children"

So that's it for now, I haven't returned to my normal activities yet, I don't eat or sleep properly and I'm still afraid that she'll come here at an unexpected time, but I've already warned my neighbors that if by any chance someone comes here and wants to come in, there's no need open the gate and have to call the police immediately
I scheduled exams and an appointment with a neurologist for occupational therapy, next month I see a psychiatrist again but I honestly feel a little optimistic that things will get better from now on without her in my life
A part of me is sad because I can directly consider myself an orphan: I only have progenitors of my DNA and not a loving, welcoming and decent father and mother like a family, but that's what they say... Family is people who you choose and feel comfortable and they accept you as you are and not people of blood
So, you who suffer from narcissistic parents, relatives, friends, prioritize yourselves and cut ties, people like that will never change and will make you sick together if you allow it.
Have self-love and compassion for your life, people like that are like parasites and will make your life hell and you could pay a very high price.
Living with narcissistic people destroys our sanity

Later we will spend the weekend with Ladybear and next week I will return to work
Thanks for reading my rant

hi guys, yesterday I had to go to the hospital after leaving Dexter at the veterinary hospital [here in Brazil we are having a very strong heat wave reaching almost 40C°|104F° chinchillas are sensitive to heat and even with air conditioning here at home he was getting hyperthermia which could lead to death] , Coming back to myself I took a benzodiazepine and a dose of serum in my arm to hydrate, basically yesterday morning a crisis turned into a panic attack like I had never had before, I screamed, I cried thinking that I was going to die, I screamed so much that my throat hurt and I broke my water bottle with my strength... my crises were never reactive to the point of taking it out on an object: the reason was a trigger and my mother's egocentrism and narcissism that made I reached my limit yesterday: it's sad that I can't have a healthy relationship with the woman who gave birth to me... I even thought about admitting myself to a mental hospital for a few days, but it's not worth it.
I'm taking care of myself as best I can, going to therapy, taking medication and it's still never enough, so I decided to cut off contact because she'll never change and she's just distancing people more and more with her toxic behavior.
She's the problem and not me, it makes me feel really stupid for still believing that people can change. Now I'm here feeling like a burned out match, I can't sleep, I can't eat and I can't work as well as I used to.
I finally made the decision to cut off contact permanently because my physical and psychological health is terrible, even going to the gym and exercising wasn't enough
this went on for too long
Thank God   edbwolf is here at home to take care of me

About Dexter, well, I left him admitted to the clinic because of the heat, even with a fan and air conditioning it wasn't enough to keep him at the appropriate temperature [and he also became nervous and agitated due to my outburst yesterday]
I'm getting in touch with a guy who fixes air conditioners to do the maintenance as quickly as possible, if I can't fix it today I'll need to pay for a small wildlife hotel for him to stay there until the air conditioner is ready or until the temperature drops
He gave me a base value of approximately 200 to 300$ so I will make colored sketches to cover the cost of Dexter's maintenance and hosting

For my clients who are waiting for their orders, I apologize for the delay in delivering the art, with all this happening + me having to accompany Ed in the interview + having these unforeseen emotional events, it is difficult to balance work and I depend a lot on my emotions to draw

I just really hope things start to get better from now on.

I've been pretty discouraged these last few days, a lot has happened and I'm trying my best to cope without complaining, but recently someone put a fake bid on my adoptables which was already at a considerably low price and that's already made me change my mind. to the point of coming here to talk something about... it's already uncomfortable having to sell art at a low price to someone without the slightest consideration who wants to humiliate you by leaving fake bids, it's quite discouraging, not to mention some art that I owe for these weeks being a little off [Ed is being called for job interviews but he doesn't know how to ride the train alone so I have to accompany him so he can learn little by little, here in São Paulo there are more than 15 different lines to memorize] in any case I'm doing it as much as possible to deal with everything
please be patient


>If anyone is interested, adoptable and ych are available for a cheaper price, here is the link to ych commisshe - https://ych.commishes.com/user/Devyshire

it feels like at any moment my head is going to explode and i'm going to have a mindbroke , i feel terrible
I don't feel like talking anymore or trying to understand what's been going on these last few days
it's been hard to even get out of bed and eat a simple meal
I just feel empty and I just want to disappear

I've been trying to be strong
overcoming some things, ignoring other small ones but to be honest I think this is only making my situation worse..

Yesterday I received a scolding from my psychiatrist for spending almost 4 months without getting in touch and for not scheduling occupational therapy with specialist doctors, in those 4 months [as you who follow me may know] a lot has happened, including extreme mood swings, end of a long relationship , false friendships that discarded me like garbage and putting all these factors together this has caused lows in my work and mainly in the way I see myself ... and I think : " what did I do for things to turn out so badly '' ? or "I'm so bad that I screw up everything I come into contact with"

This is very discouraging , it 's like I 'm swimming against the tide .. eventually I get tired and give up and that 's what happens , this feeling of failure and insufficiency breaks me inside .
and even if i try to vent it's like i'm complaining about "anything" and if i keep it to myself my chest sinks and it eats me alive

At the same time I want company but 2 things happen: either they eventually get tired of me and discard me or I feel the need to pull away because I don't think I'm good enough to be around

Every day my social anxiety has been getting the better of me, even basic interactions like answering the phone and making an appointment become...difficult...even though it's something mediocre and normal for anyone else

At the same time that I think about disappearing, I want to stay alive and fulfill the dreams of my life and the things I want to do so much.

I feel terrible , but I 'm trying to get better .. but I do not know how long I can do it .

Look, my life situation is not the best, both psychologically and financially and I'm going to vent a little here because I don't know what else to do..

As if the drama of my ending a relationship that lasted 6 years wasn't enough, I'm going through an infernal cycle of bad things:

- First: a few days after the breakup to cheer me up I got a wonderful piercing on my tongue and that really cheered me up because I wanted this piercing for a long time and now after 3 weeks I had to take it off because my body has low immunity due to to the winter here in the southern hemisphere [Brazil] and rejecting\infecting it
[obs I wasn't feeling pain with it in the following 2 weeks, only in the first one because the body needed to adapt, I took all the necessary care and everything was right but I just thought it was strange that it took time to heal and a white ball appeared and that's why I went to seek medical help to guide me and he took it out and I send the recipes to buy immediately]

- Second: I'm also in the process of taking care of my body and losing weight by going to the gym for a while now and following a diet with the help of a nutritionist: however my body is not getting used to the little "food" it receives and it's rebelling with me : I was always overweight and I ate very well as a child and many times my father used sweets to suppress my affective need [to the point that breakfast and afternoon snack were bread filled with creams and chocolates, sugary cereal and a glass of chocolate milk ], so as I grew up whenever I was sad or in a crisis I ate lots of sweets and chocolates as a form of comfort and that is not healthy at all and I am trying hard to correct this grotesque error that it harms me and whenever I eat too much I feel terrible [this almost gave me the opportunity to develop some kind of eating disorders]
that is, since I was young I always had problems with self-esteem and my body because I found it ugly and that affects me even today as an adult
But it seems that my efforts are going in vain even though I want to do the right thing.
it may happen that he is not adapting to a new routine and effort , even sleeping well , taking vitamin c and going to the gym

- Third: as I mentioned above, winter arrived in the southern hemisphere and with it the instability of the weather making everyone catch the flu and I was one of those people
It wasn't something serious to the point of getting a fever and having more severe symptoms, it was more of a nasty cold that we wipe our noses all the time and it turns red like a clown's but anyway I got sick and my body can't take it all and I had to buy medicine both for the flu and anti-inflammatory for the piercing

- Fourth: In a few days it will be the wedding of a distant cousin of the family and my clothes got stuck in the customs of the post office because they are broken into and love to take money from the poor whenever they can :D this literally ended my day [which was already gone] good because thanks to the above facts that are depressing me] I need to pay before I have my purchase lost and I don't even get a refund

Basically a quadruple combo of bad stuff was thrown at me out of the blue and I'm not going to lie.. I'M TIRED OF IT
Apart from the late and incomplete commissions, I'm just not feeling like a good artist or a terrible person for not being able to lose weight like an ordinary person and deal with such simple problems..

So that's it, they may be insignificant problems for you but it's been a hell of a bother to have to deal with it alone and feel discouraged because everything I do even carefully is going wrong
I feel terrible for venting such trivial things and I can't handle it like a normal person can.

BUT I'M TRYING I SWEAR
I know that there are more bad times than good in life and really unpleasant situations that we have to go through to find peace and enjoy it until the next bad thing comes along.
I also know that there are people with more serious problems than mine... but throwing it in my face won't solve my problems or theirs [so if you're going to comment things like that, don't waste your time]

I just feel lost with everything , very distressed and discouraged with everything that is happening in such a short space of time .. even trying to do the right things
Honestly, I really want to give up everything

But I hope this bad weather and these things that have been happening to me will go away soon..

Tomorrow I will have my weekly therapy session after almost 3 weeks without them.
I hope that my psychologist can resolve any of these terrible doubts and things that have been happening to me and give me a direction to follow.

I just hope things get better soon...
A thousand pardons to you customers and commissioners who are waiting for your arts, soon I will send them wips

Thanks for reading this far

Hi dears, how are you?
I beg a thousand pardons for the delay in the commissions and the lack of art in recent days
Recently I have a guest\friend at my house, 2 weeks ago he was expelled from his parents' house and had to leave the North region of Brazil to come here [Southeast] in São Paulo
The girlfriend's parents didn't want to take him in so I gave up my house and since then he has been my guest.
The good part of this story is that he got a job because his girlfriend has already closed a lease for them to live together soon [she will only have access to the key at the end of this month] so until then he will be with me
I've been through this expulsion situation and it's terrible but since he left the toxic family environment I've noticed that he feels better
The ''bad'' part is that I'm having more expenses with basic expenses and etc [until because it's been 1 week since he started working so I'm taking care of things alone], maybe I have to give up one of my ocs to have more money for expenses or open slots for colored sketches .. I don't know yet anyway, later I'll make a better post about
but I wanted to let you know of my absence
but it will be ok :D

I'm concerned, a regular customer of mine has disappeared without explanation or leaving a trace.
Your discord doesn't accept new messages, the twitter account is unavailable and it's been a while since you've seen the FA and I've sent direct and shouts and so far nothing..
He has art in progress with me and I had some doubts and when I went to ask I couldn't get in touch
last time i spoke to him was april 6th after he gave my ych an ab
I hope he [or she] is doing well and will be back soon.

[And people if you are reading this please get in touch
I don't know what could have happened but come back! I hope you are well, safe and that you come back soon to receive your artwork.]

EDIT : I found another artist with the same situation and it's the same person
we don't know what happened but apparently he deactivated all social media and said he needed to raise more money and didn't give any further explanation
even left patreon

well anyway i hope he comes back

I'm not well, another wave of crises was triggered for reasons that I don't want to comment
I can't work and my emotional state is a mess
I'm thinking of selling some characters and taking a break from everything for at least 4 days to 1 week
Honestly, I just wanted to disappear right now as I write
It's been hell living with this weight day after day and even talking to some good people who have the patience to put up with me I still have the feeling that day after day I just victimize myself without making an effort to get out of this hole
I'm just sorry for not being able to work, be decently stable to socialize among other things
If it gets worse I'll go to the hospital to take medical measures

Today was a really bad day, luckily I went to therapy with the psychologist, but on the way home I had a nervous breakdown and I cried while I was on the monorail | Metro station
I couldn't contain the tears and that anguish that seemed to have no end and suffocated me inside.
That feeling of everyone looking at me and laughing in my face making me feel helpless, weak and useless
I had to control myself not to freak out\scream and make a scene in public but I couldn't hold back the tears at all, I hate crying around other people, even more so around strangers
I counted the seconds to reach my home station and the steps to unlock the door and finally fall into bed.
It just hurt a lot, the crying was like a child who lost something and got hurt, I had to muffle my screams with the pillow
I felt like my heart had been ripped out and cut into pieces: I took 3 tranquilizer pills and passed out for 4 hours [1 or 2 just don't do what I need anymore]
Now here I am, feeling empty, with a sore throat and a headache.
I don't know if it's a side effect of the new medications, delayed menstruation with hormonal overload, or just the anguish and recentness that is inside.
I don't feel good about anything and even though I strive every day to get out of this situation it's like... like I'm swimming against the current of the tide... it's so tiring that sometimes I just give up
I swallow so much crying that one hour I drown with the pain that is here
I just wanted a decent hug and people who really care about me, not just like the artist who talks to you, but the person behind this canvas writing this

This pain, apathy, distrust and hurt is tearing me apart

I don't feel well, this week's definition, in addition to disappointment, discouragement is procrastination: I couldn't do the most basic things, from following a diet, going to the gym or even doing the laundry at home...

On Tuesday I had an appointment with the psychiatrist to deliver the ADHD and autism report and she will need a ''second opinion'' to see if she will consider my autism as "official" because in these almost 1 year and a half of treatment with her I did not "present any explicit symptoms of this disorder" [being that my neuropsychologist fought with me because in 23 years of life I always camouflaged these characteristics] and now it is harming my interaction and coexistence in general, so until she has a second opinion, I will not be able to seek my rights in court until she "made TEA official": as for ADHD [which I got right] she prescribed me another medicine on my list: Ritalin..
Now I use 4 drugs, 2 of which are prescription drugs [meaning if I don't take responsibility, I can become addicted]... and as if things couldn't get worse, one of the prescription drugs is out of stock in my country.. .

Honestly, I don't know how to be optimistic by doping myself with medicines, paying dearly for them and basic things and having the initiative to do the things I need, after all, if I don't do it, no one will do it for me
I couldn't work on pending arts this week and I feel like a bad artist

I feel like giving up seeing that my efforts are coming to nothing

I don't want to make art while I'm like this, it's not fair to you customers not to have good art because I'm not well [That's why I made a session in my Tos talking about the basics about me and my behavior]
Unfortunately I can't work automatically
I depend on my emotional and mood and I try to bring my best
but now i can't do the bare minimum
[Anything I'll refund arts I didn't start]

I'll be off slow dm for a few days waiting for this bad weather to pass
Saturday I'm going to my grandmother's house to spend time with her, maybe being close to people I love will help me


Maybe make some adoptables to cheer me up [not sure]
Anyway, just wanted to vent a little bit.
I'm trying to get out of this

After almost 6 years I'm wanting to get into a drawing course again
I feel I need mentoring to develop my skills and deliver better work to my clients
I have plans to enroll in the course in 2 weeks but I will need some extra money to cover the enrollment, first monthly fee and some materials that the course requires, it will be face-to-face because online I don't do well [I already tried but I didn't I can manage on my own]
So I'm opening colorful sketches slots for 60$ I believe that about $340 is enough to meet this goal


Remembering that the regular commissions are open [refsheets, icons, fullbodies and etc] for more information my carrd is here
https://devyshirearts.carrd.co/

If interested call me at Devyshirehell (Telegram\Twitter) , Discord Devylinn#8647 or comment down here and send me a note~

If you can't buy it, you can help me by sharing it with your friends.

I just want to be a better artist and deliver good work.

I'm honestly very stressed these days and I'm afraid that this will become a blockartistic

In these last few months I saw that my reach dropped and that worried me but I thought it was temporary because the end of the year with parties | beginning of the year I think it is difficult for everyone because of expenses, travel and etc.

But I'm afraid that this will stay for a while longer and I won't be able to keep my things and need to go back to my mother's house [in past journals you can follow my "tragetory" and what I had to go through with a narcissistic mother ]

In December I went for an evaluation with the neuropsychologist at the request of the psychiatrist I received the diagnosis that I have ADHD and ASD [autistic spectrum disorder] and I was floored, for 23 years I have these problems and if I had been diagnosed earlier I could have avoided it humiliations and hurts, I knew there was something strange about me but I didn't expect "confirmation" of it, even more so now that I'm an adult. The good part is that I can pursue my rights as an autistic person the bad part is that it depends on ''justice of my country to grant me my rights'' and it will take time.

I really apologize to you who are reading this but I need to vent a little more ...

I don't like to talk about the problems in my personal life, it gives the impression that I'm victimizing myself when I say something and it eats away at me if I don't expose it: it's a harrowing session of not feeling good enough at anything, procrastinating most of the time , doubting your abilities, needing approval from others to see if I'm doing the right thing and feeling misunderstood most of the time and that doesn't just creep into my artistic side, but also in many aspects of my life as a person existing, girlfriend, friend and etc

It's hell thinking too much in your head creates problems that don't exist and the bad part is that all the things I do I'm already losing the will to do and isolating myself more and more and with a huge fear of succumbing to depression again

I swear I'm pushing myself by going to therapy, practicing my skills more, trying to be an |artistic|person| best friend, practicing exercises but to be honest I'm getting tired


Anyway sorry about that [then I delete it]