I'm going to take some times off from drawing

so, see you soon

by me

Why do elitism exist? Those people who favor popularity, skill, and money over genuine appreciation

How could they be so hypocritical? When they reject and fear you over your orientation or preference but slowly become one themselves and happily embrace it as they're being surrounded by people who congratulate them for coming out, while you have to live with pain as they harshly pushed you away

Life is unfair. Sometimes they come on top even when you scream that they don't deserve it. Sometimes they only want to befriend you if you are lewd perverted bastard, popular enough, or having similar art style

They fear you because you are too normal for their taste, too honest for their lies, and you are not good enough to feed their massive ego

I will be honest, it's the same people that make me want to leave the fandom for good. But I can't lie to myself that I love sketching. They are young, hungry for popularity and attention, obvious skill that I would kill to have, but sadly their attitude is what stresses me every day

I wish I could just leave them be and move on, but alas they are everywhere

It's not everyday I share my thoughts, so it's quite exhausting how to put them into words

Gingatokkyu signing out

Well, happy birthday to me

Hello responsibilities, and good night

hectic week, pile of homeworks, and acute diarrhea

Damn, I need to take some rest :\

It's more like a rant, actually


Sometimes I wonder if staying in this fandom is worth my time... Whenever I try to befriend and get to close to people, especially when they have their own drama. I kinda have to pick a side. I can't just siding with A, B, or C, without even know who's to blame, whose fault, and what's about what.

Also, people who looked nice on the outside, but actually an emotional wreck in the inside. I do want to reach them, but... there's something from them that keep pushes me away. Despite that they are talented artists.

I guess, you can't just please all of them, can you?

At first, I don't want to write something like this because this kind of problem sounds a bit trivial, don't you think?



Pop your Joy and move on with that ignorant smiles, you minx!

It was exhausting, stressing, and pretty much frightening 'holiday'

Once I arrived, I had to clean my room from dead roaches, mold, dust, and so on. Collapsed on bed at 5 p.m and woke up today at 4 in the morning. Damn....

I'm going home tomorrow morning, so tonight is packing night

No, before you say "have a lovely vacation", this is NOT a vacation for me, at all

I can't draw, no privacy, no leisure activities without being judged, etc etc

I just hope that I will come back alive near the end of January

if not, then it's my funeral

tata~

I've been witnessing a lot of drama (and involved in one) but it seems Trump winning the election takes the cake. Just because the election has ended, it doesn't mean post election argument gonna stop soon. That and still-ongoing political drama within my country especially with the rise of hard-liner muslims and their anti-minority agenda which I despised so much...

I really don't see why 2017 gonna be different

Since I got nothing to do for a while, I open 5 slots for black and white bara pics. If you interested, note me :)

Also,  thelavenderwolf open some slots as well. Check his page and you won't be disappointed :)

...I started to draw again, little by little. See if I still can draw after months of hiatus.

I finally got internet connection, but it is horribly slower than usual. So it's better than nothing, I guess.

My buddy buddy mate  thelavenderwolf is open for commission, go check his works and pm him if you interested :)

Also, no internet for now. It seems my dorm's wifi once again down for the third time this month. If you asking how am I write this journal, I do have emergency quota

Now, the weather...

What's up? Yeah, life's been up and down these past two months. I don't have anything to tell beside grim news, which I will say it immediately.



I no longer have passion for drawing.



Drawing, sketching, used to be fun and engaging activity where I could pour every ideas and what not. But now, it's no longer something I could truly enjoy.

I'm sorry that I may not going back to draw again, but maybe a miracle could change my mind or something

thank you for participating, I'll open slots sometimes later

See you later and happy holiday

simple sketch, muscle/bara. Open for 5 slots for now. If you interested PM me

Slots

1.  footballwolf

2.  clamconundrum

3.  darthtater342

4.  farrell00888

5.  winnebago-chietain

My account still intact, despite yesterday's fiasco. Hmm... I shouldn't have said that tho...

#TemptingFate

when you no longer find the joy in drawing, what's the point of continuing? Because of things happening in real life right now, I no longer consider drawing as a worthy hobby for me. Even when I want to draw, nothing comes out.... what I want it.

So yeah, I bid farewell to drawing and I DO hope the mood and motivation will come back, somehow...

I don't usually do this, but if you have time, please read

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7492253/

So, Gate: Thus the Self-Defense Force Fought There! ended. I'm surprised it's not well-known among furry community. Ignore the blatant political message and you get a world full of wolfmen, cat people, rabbit warrior, dragon people, lizard folk, and other anthro-race living in the world of GATE

I'm here and will be busy as ever. College will choking me for sure

Doing Social service in a remote village.

Furaffinity activities will be shut down for 35 days

Yesterday, Jakarta was bombed around 10.30 in the morning

Police post bombing, suicide blast, three more explosions on other locations which I still don't know for sure all around Jakarta and it's surrounding area. Well at least furries there were busy at school and university, but still... attacking our capital out of blue and killed 6 people? Get your filthy bombs out of my country you bunch of garbage!

We have no business with your war!

now playing: Auld Lang Syne

So  farrell00888 came to my den and going to stay for the whole week, so it's TRAIN FESTIVE TIEM!! No, he doesn't know much about railway, so it's up to -me- to educate him about...you know, locomotives and stuff. Last Tuesday we went to Ambarawa railway museum (and my very first time in 15 years, my parents keep denying the existence such a place, mind you). And today, we went to Lawang Sewu, an ex-railroad company office in my town to see what is it about. Too bad third floor and basement were off limit from public (hey, we don't want someone found a hidden skeleton somewhere now, do we?). We spent most of our time there watching black and white documentary about railway operational in early 20th century (damn those pesky Dutch colonizer, stealing our sugar and shit)

Anyways, during new year we will go to Ambarawa again. To catch a steam train...

so this whole week I went to my cousin's wedding, and pretty much stuck with my parents and t'whole family. It was okay, but eh... back to my cold, lone, and dirty den.

I'm not gonna lie. the last 20 days I was feeling down, really, really bad. So I just come here to reply notes and browsing something that worth faving. And then I decided to take some break and yeah... stuff happens. Nevertheless I'm here and let you know that I'm okay, so far