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Where to find me in case the worst happens
Posted a year agoYes, I'm aware of the news. That leaves me worried this site might not be around for much longer.
I don't really know how to set up a linktree or carrd so I'm just going to make this journal with links to everywhere I'm at so you know where I still am should the worst happen.
Weasyl: Flarerik (this also has all my old art from before 2024)
Mastodon: Here at blimps.xyz, which is my main place I lurk.
SoFurry: Will start posting here eventually.
Final Fantasy XIV: While not an art or social site, I do play this game a lot. I am Ricky Ronso @ Faerie.
Sidenote: if you have art here you should probably go back it up ASAP. Data loss is never fun, as I can attest.
I don't really know how to set up a linktree or carrd so I'm just going to make this journal with links to everywhere I'm at so you know where I still am should the worst happen.
Weasyl: Flarerik (this also has all my old art from before 2024)
Mastodon: Here at blimps.xyz, which is my main place I lurk.
SoFurry: Will start posting here eventually.
Final Fantasy XIV: While not an art or social site, I do play this game a lot. I am Ricky Ronso @ Faerie.
Sidenote: if you have art here you should probably go back it up ASAP. Data loss is never fun, as I can attest.
Apologies for the radio silence
Posted a year agoI've mostly just been doing absolutely nothing ever since I kinda entered another rut because I can't decide on my sona's design again, hence why I decided it would be better to post those unfinished drawings than let them rot on my hard drive.
Which, judging from the fact people liked them anyway, seems to signal to me it's fine to not finish thing sometimes even though I think it's personally embarrassing for me because I feel I should "complete" what I make for a given definition of complete. I still have plenty of ideas and weird lore I'm not sure how to fully convey/express without it turning into a wall of text. Maybe I'll get the idea to make a Ricky that isn't annoying to draw.
I don't have much more to add than that. I have a feeling I'll just forget about drawing again once the new Final Fantasy XIV expansion drops at literally the end of the month, and I find that once my tendency to hyperfixate on something becomes "not art" then art production grinds to a halt. Not that it's really been going so hot since 2017.
How did past me manage to be that productive while also being hooked on Warframe?
Which, judging from the fact people liked them anyway, seems to signal to me it's fine to not finish thing sometimes even though I think it's personally embarrassing for me because I feel I should "complete" what I make for a given definition of complete. I still have plenty of ideas and weird lore I'm not sure how to fully convey/express without it turning into a wall of text. Maybe I'll get the idea to make a Ricky that isn't annoying to draw.
I don't have much more to add than that. I have a feeling I'll just forget about drawing again once the new Final Fantasy XIV expansion drops at literally the end of the month, and I find that once my tendency to hyperfixate on something becomes "not art" then art production grinds to a halt. Not that it's really been going so hot since 2017.
How did past me manage to be that productive while also being hooked on Warframe?
I'm seriously considering just giving up on art entirely.
Posted a year agoWhy even bother trying anymore? It's not even about earning clout or validation from anyone for it, it's not about my inability to make what I want like my 2020 meltdown, it's that with the current way everything is going there will be nowhere and no one to show it to.
Yes, this is about the increasing number of sites cracking down on specific things and oftentimes just completely shutting out anything remotely family-unfriendly, others teetering on the brink of collapse, and others still being complete anathema to people like me.
And it's about Bill S-210, or "Canada is about to commit digital suicide" given literally only one party in parliament actually opposes it and they don't have a majority. Oh, and they're electorally doomed. We're going to turn into a far-right dictatorship like Hungary or Russia in less than two years at this rate. But no one cares because it's "protecting children" and people like me are literally the devil for seeing through these false pretenses being used to justify trampling all over freedom of expression. Yes, it's just as bad as KOSA, whose end goal as admitted by some pushing it is to eventually censor all content online even remotely LGBT, including furry content. None of what I said here is hyperbole by the way.
"ok doomer shut up and give me the inflation art you promised"
You don't understand just how destructive all of this is to my motivation. Dexit and severe depression stopped me from drawing for nearly five years. Now all this will drag me back into the pit for good. The chilling effect exists for a reason.
I don't even want to draw or post anything in this climate where any expression is silenced under dubious pretenses of protecting children or . I can't even enjoy the process anymore given I know it'll probably just be all for nothing, and the only place it'll ever remain posted is my hard drive. This isn't like my meltdown I had in 2020 where I was just so bitter and angry nothing came out the way I wanted; I thought the only way things could go was up given I was for once enjoying drawing. This has always been a hobby for me and never a livelihood.
Now I'm having that enjoyment ripped away from me. My hobbies are being taken away from me. I can no longer express myself the way I want. I hate this puritanical cancel culture that's taken over the world. I wish it would just go away forever.
I just want to live.
Yes, this is about the increasing number of sites cracking down on specific things and oftentimes just completely shutting out anything remotely family-unfriendly, others teetering on the brink of collapse, and others still being complete anathema to people like me.
And it's about Bill S-210, or "Canada is about to commit digital suicide" given literally only one party in parliament actually opposes it and they don't have a majority. Oh, and they're electorally doomed. We're going to turn into a far-right dictatorship like Hungary or Russia in less than two years at this rate. But no one cares because it's "protecting children" and people like me are literally the devil for seeing through these false pretenses being used to justify trampling all over freedom of expression. Yes, it's just as bad as KOSA, whose end goal as admitted by some pushing it is to eventually censor all content online even remotely LGBT, including furry content. None of what I said here is hyperbole by the way.
"ok doomer shut up and give me the inflation art you promised"
You don't understand just how destructive all of this is to my motivation. Dexit and severe depression stopped me from drawing for nearly five years. Now all this will drag me back into the pit for good. The chilling effect exists for a reason.
I don't even want to draw or post anything in this climate where any expression is silenced under dubious pretenses of protecting children or . I can't even enjoy the process anymore given I know it'll probably just be all for nothing, and the only place it'll ever remain posted is my hard drive. This isn't like my meltdown I had in 2020 where I was just so bitter and angry nothing came out the way I wanted; I thought the only way things could go was up given I was for once enjoying drawing. This has always been a hobby for me and never a livelihood.
Now I'm having that enjoyment ripped away from me. My hobbies are being taken away from me. I can no longer express myself the way I want. I hate this puritanical cancel culture that's taken over the world. I wish it would just go away forever.
I just want to live.
Furnal Equinox 2024 aftermath (sorta)
Posted a year agoPosting this now given I may or may not be going Sunday despite having intended to earlier (very sorry). It depends.
tl;dr: it was kinda fun but social anxiety is real 💀💀💀💀💀
Friday I ended up having to cut things short because I was tired. Useful advice: do not wake up several hours before you depart. In my case, I woke up at 1 AM, departed at 5 AM, and arrived at 8 AM and already I was feeling exhausted. Maybe at most one hour before you depart for the convention. I was basically running on empty by noon and proceeded to peace out, which sucks because some events in the schedule interested me.
So that was unfortunate...
Saturday went way better. Ended up joining in on the Smash Bros. Wii U event they had. I mostly lost but still had fun with some of the cursed memes that went on, and also played a bit of Mario Kart Wii there...turns out I still can kinda play it well even after 10 years of having not seriously played it. It was a blast, if mostly games- it was really fun to finally play local multiplayer for the first time in almost a decade or so, but did I ever hang out with anyone? Well, uh... no. While sensory-wise the convention wasn't overwhelming (the city outside is louder to me than the convention inside), I am that bad about talking to random people to the point where I just don't bother trying at all.
So I mostly just wandered around and vibed. It was nice to finally visit a convention like I had wanted to for a while and this weekend visit crosses off another item on my questionably long bucket list of places I'd like to visit.
Would I go again? ...If I had friends, maybe? I don't mind going by myself but given the walls to interaction (admittedly self-imposed) it wouldn't really be as fun as it otherwise would. I stress this is through no fault of the convention and my experience was still positive in spite of that. Also trying to figure out how to position both my badge and the convention badge on my lanyard was really annoying but that's a skill issue from me.
I don't really know how to end this, I'm mostly just rambling again.
tl;dr: it was kinda fun but social anxiety is real 💀💀💀💀💀
Friday I ended up having to cut things short because I was tired. Useful advice: do not wake up several hours before you depart. In my case, I woke up at 1 AM, departed at 5 AM, and arrived at 8 AM and already I was feeling exhausted. Maybe at most one hour before you depart for the convention. I was basically running on empty by noon and proceeded to peace out, which sucks because some events in the schedule interested me.
So that was unfortunate...
Saturday went way better. Ended up joining in on the Smash Bros. Wii U event they had. I mostly lost but still had fun with some of the cursed memes that went on, and also played a bit of Mario Kart Wii there...turns out I still can kinda play it well even after 10 years of having not seriously played it. It was a blast, if mostly games- it was really fun to finally play local multiplayer for the first time in almost a decade or so, but did I ever hang out with anyone? Well, uh... no. While sensory-wise the convention wasn't overwhelming (the city outside is louder to me than the convention inside), I am that bad about talking to random people to the point where I just don't bother trying at all.
So I mostly just wandered around and vibed. It was nice to finally visit a convention like I had wanted to for a while and this weekend visit crosses off another item on my questionably long bucket list of places I'd like to visit.
Would I go again? ...If I had friends, maybe? I don't mind going by myself but given the walls to interaction (admittedly self-imposed) it wouldn't really be as fun as it otherwise would. I stress this is through no fault of the convention and my experience was still positive in spite of that. Also trying to figure out how to position both my badge and the convention badge on my lanyard was really annoying but that's a skill issue from me.
I don't really know how to end this, I'm mostly just rambling again.
How do I make a con badge?
Posted a year agoI'm planning on attending Furnal Equinox 2024 later this year and I want something to help identify me in case anyone reading this wants to vibe. Hence the title, because I want to make a badge but I'm not sure how to physically make the thing after I draw what the badge will be.
