So my friend is moving into my apartment (cause reasons) and with that will come his income. Meaning I can now start working IRL less and stream and art more often; meaning I can tackle my commission queue more along with Patreon sketches and getting my Pokemon Youtube channel built up. Yay~

So yeah I'm going to try my hardest to Actually announce that I'm streaming more often.
How're you guys doing anyway?

---

My Art Trello: <LINK>

I mean I have this queue I need to work on, but if someone asks for something on my streams, then I'll work on those. Then again I'm much more likely to just post that I'm streaming on my discord page, cause it's just a copy past link; no need to find the streaming pic I have drawn somewhere, and write some message.
And that's super unprofessional, and I hate that about myself yet I'm not actively trying to improve on it. I'm still locked in 5 a day shifts trying to keep myself affloat and pay off a ton of bills; living alone really costs a lot...

So I'm working on making a Trello (should've made it long ago tho) and getting some better organization going; if you guys want I can put a link down for you guys, and those in my queue that want me to change, update, or drop anything can let me know.

Actually no I'm gonna link it here now while I slowly update it for you guys anyway: <LINK>

Hopefully I can sit down and tackle these commissions more asap; I always feel bad seeing these just exist and not worked on. They aren't projects they're ideas that other people want me to turn into art for monetary goods; some of which have already paid me, and that's inexcusable to be shirking.

Anyway, how're you guys doing?

BTW, If you like huge macro curvy ladies, or big dragons, and are tired of me taking my slow-ass time, then take a look at  TranceHybridRedux She's open and hasn't gotten commissioned yet; UNNACCEPTABLE!!!! So yeah, take a look at her stuff if you're interested: https://trancehybridredux.wixsite.com/artsite

---

Hey guys~
I think I'm starting to balance out; bills and income is stabilizing, though I still have a ways to go before I can lower my guard; meaning still working practically full time, with 2 days off; more specifically Wednesdays and Thursdays. So I'm gonna try and actually announce streams here when I do (been mostly just been announcing on my discord, but, yeah) and possibly see about taking on stream sketches while I'm at it (also I need to improve a bit more on my sketches so as their quality doesn't degrade.

Also gonna see about making a price sheet for my commissions soon, to make things more visually noticeable, but also I need to improve on my turnaround a lot more; I don't like seeing my List barely budge every month, it eats at me. Then again I also wanna script up and draw stuff for a Youtube channel I wanna make...so...yeah.

Anyway, hope you guys are doing alright

Feel free to note/message me if you want.

The List:

- 2 pg comic
2 comics + 3 color
1 color
2 color
6 sketches <paid>
advancement (to be turned into commissions later)
advancement
1 ink
advancement
 Jordinoboy Color
 itchigo-icetalons 3 sketches
IF I missed anyone, let me know.

The List is in no particular order in terms of progress, but I'll try and keep people in the loop when I am working on them.

If you guys are interested in a commission, or would like an update about The List, feel free to comment below, send a note, or contact me through telegram, discord, email, etc.

Well, my finances are starting to stabilize a bit better now, after so long of nothing going right for me; and it can still turn sour, but what else is new.

I figure I might as well try and establish a routine stream during my days off or short shift days, to ensure I work on these commissions more. I need to chunk down this queue more rapidly to remove this personal stigma that I appear to be just some scammer artist that will take money and not actually do what I promised.

But at the same time, I can't draw for a living cause my turnaround rates are so poor, so I hafta work to keep my apartment, but that takes most of my time TO draw, making all of you people waiting having to wait longer while I fight with my own crippling anxiety and depression to sit down and draw, or contact people.

Anyway, I hope you guys are doing alright, I'll see about streaming on Saturday, Wednesdays too. (though I will be working next wednesday, thursday will be off though) Also, my birthday will be coming up at the end of next month (April) ; just figured I'd let you guys be aware of that.

Feel free to note/message me if you want.

The List:

- 2 pg comic
1 ink
2 comics + 3 color
1 color
1 comic
2 color
6 sketches <paid>
/ advancement (have yet to turn into commission)
advancement
1 color
1 ink
advancement
 Jordinoboy Color
IF I missed anyone, let me know.

The List is in no particular order in terms of progress, but I'll try and keep people in the loop when I am working on them.

If you guys are interested in a commission, or would like to update about The List, feel free to comment below, send a note, or contact me through telegram, discord, email, etc.

Because apparently my job is fighting with me from gaining hours, so I might as well list all the people I have on the queue and plug away at it.
And man, my car needs to get taken in; it's making noises...

I generally don't ask for payment upfront, so as I don't screw people over when I am slow or not on the ball.

If you guys on the queue had already written me off and no longer want a commission from me, OR if you wish to change/update the idea, notify me, or else I will still work on what was last discussed and expect payment when it's done

The List:

- 2 pg comic
1 color <Done>
1 ink comic <Done>
1 ink
2 comics + 3 color
1 color
1 color
2 color
6 sketches
advancement (have yet to turn into commission)
advancement
1 color
1 ink
advancement

IF I missed anyone, let me know.

The List is in no particular order in terms of progress, but I'll try and keep people in the loop when I am working on them.

If you guys are interested in a commission, or would like to update about The List, feel free to comment below, send a note, or contact me through telegram, discord, email, etc.

Great...I thought I was right on a knife's edge of making rent this month, when all of a sudden my insurance company ups and grabs a large chunk off me.

Now I'm shy like $300 with making rent and internet.
I still owe money with the storage units, (because my brother refuses/claims he can't help) my car is making loud noises and that needs to be fixed, (As I need both a phone and my car functioning to work) my computer's OS is deteriorating on me (meaning it fights with me just to get to the loading screen, and occasionally crashes) and my local friends aren't helping either. (they don't live alone, so they don't understand the kind of stress I've been under)

I just don't know what to do anymore; all things Murphy's law today...
I'll talk to you guys later.

If you need me, my telegram, Twitter, discord, email and Skype are all Foxfencer (email is gmail)

There was a little thing about the gen 1 transfer that scared done people who noticed a thing; machop and it's line could learn the TM fissure and would later gain the no guard ability in later gens. So people speculated that you can cheese victories with no guard fissure machamp and decimate people.

And I am so smugly content that that is never going to be a thing without hacking.
See the pokebank update allowed gen 1 to the current gen, however the gen 1 Pokemon Will always be given their hidden abilities; a very rewarding thing if you ask me. But that means the machop can't ever have both fissure and no guard.
And before people bring up the ability capsule, it doesn't work on Pokemon with their hidden abilities.

So yeah, I knew I never needed to worry about it before and now it's cemented~

How's is your guy's days?

Thank you guys for helping me with getting a new phone; I got one and will be working on your guys' commissions shortly; however now my internet isn't working (as I'm typing this through my phone; took forever to remember the password) and now I'd need to pay them at least $100 to get the internet up and running...

So one bad thing for another; at least I'm capable to working my job again...

So my phone broke during my shift; a job that required the use of an app on said phone. SO, I can't work cause my phone is dead. (It literally brick'd I see nothing physically wrong with it)

After dealing with that cocktail of emotions of a breakdown, at least now I have time to sit down and work on commissions, as well as set up my discord channel (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I have something)

On top of this, my mouse is breaking down, and my PC is showing signs of issues as well; my car also needs looking at. And I think I have a lung infection, but I don't have insurance to get that looked at.

Yeah, there's a lot on my plate atm.

Also my discord channel, feel free to hop on in and pester me about commissions: https://discord.gg/SJvJkX2

I'm also likely to change up my prices too as well.

SO, how're you guys doing?

I'm sorry I haven't been on the ball with my commission's and everything; having to work so much to stabilize my rent ave bills is a bit much, but it was better than my last job at retail.

I'm planning on making a discord channel for my commissioners to have a direct line with me, to ask me about updates/progress, or if they'd like to change the commission idea. I know it's silly but I can tell that I need a small bit of stress to ensure I do something (just not so much I have a breakdown) because my brain will think "well, there's no due date, don't need to worry about it" and so I put it off, even though you guys have been quietly been patient with me.
I can't use that as an excuse; and as soon as I make the channel I'll let you guys know.


STILL, I hope you guys have an awesome new years, and let's hope things will get better.

So I forgot to pick up hours this week, so basically I'm free all week. I'll even see about getting streams up more often as well.

Feel free to ask me anything, if you feel like it; I need something to help pass the time. ...That and Pokemon.

So, I was getting ready to set up a stream today when my pc started lagging up and slowing down majorly. I was hoping to earn a little extra money to ensure I'm not in the red with bills before my paycheck this wednesday, especially since my job demands a lot of my gas and car.

Still I'm gonna see what I can do to get it up and running and get a stream up, so look out for that.

Anyways, how're you guys doing?

Yeah I'm weird, cause I'll be hypothesizing potential ideas about Pokemon Sun and Moon, specifically what might happen to the competitive meta, and playsets we might see.

I'm not gonna go into, nor refer to, the Pokemon data-mined from the demo; I'm just gonna stick to the Pokemon revealed officially; so I have no stats, and this is highly reaching.

I suspect that the 4 guardians will be not only allowed in competitive, but be main centerpieces around team composition. A main reason will be their abilities creating a terrain; 3 of the terrains were in X and Y but none of the professionals ever used them, due to their Pokemon restricted to 4 valuable slots. However, these terrains only affect Pokemon on the ground, so some flying types may stick out on the teams. Each terrain affects how battles will turn out, when you look at their effects.
So I suspect there will be Terrain wars, like Gen 5's weather wars.

With the Pokemon introduced, I can suspect a lot of aggressive play and flexible bulk. Another thing is that Mega stones won't be allowed when sun and moon drop, (competitively speaking) so that might allow more flexible team compositions and allow more healthy innovation.

So yeah that's what I got in my hypothesis so far; I'll likely be wrong, but there's my two cents.

Now that my schedule is balancing out a bit more, do you guys want me to start announcing streams on my days off while I work on commissions?
I admit, I am more consistent with my drawing when people are watching me and etc., but I don't wanna be just a bore.

Then again I don't use my mic and have issues with a video to be watching while I stream, so that's a thing.
And a couple people have been telling me that I'm chump changing myself with my prices, but I can't personally excuse upping it when my turn around speed is so abhorrent.

So yeah I dunno, and I'm a super indecisive twat that may inexplicably repeat myself or get my wording jumbled up horrendously.

Yes I like Overwatch, and when I'm not working, cooking, trying to draw, and playing Pokemon, I'm likely on Overwatch.

I apologize for not having much in terms of art to update, but my finances are starting to balance out so there's something.
Plus since my last journal is a month old, I should make a post speculating the new upcoming character, with what info I got.

So, from the official website, she is an offense class with a difficulty of 3, (highest btw) not surprising; she's a hacker hero that stealths around.
Her abilities are:
hack (disable an opponents abilities for a time; OR hack health packs to not work on the enemy team) ;
stealth (grants extra movement speed, but atatcking or getting hit will break stealth) ;
a personal teleporter (that she can tort to whenever during a time frame once) ;
and an EMP (explodes around her, breaking sheilds barriers and hacking in an AoE)
Her weapon is a machine pistol (which looked like some SMg or something, but whatever)

From what I can speculate, she's likely gonna be a new flanker-esqe offense, shutting down key targets and major problems. Or as an anti-flanker, as the other flanker types are mostly ability reliant. However from all I can tell from the info given is She needs to get in close to do anything, which would be where her difficulty would come from; meaning range would a strong counter to her playstyle; that and AoE attacks. Also the weapon's high rate of fire would likely have low damage and a high spread, making long range an issue.

What I suspect might happen in the meta might not be all that big, but good Sombra's will likely flex Zarya's more towards roadhog, and might threaten Lucio and zenyatta if she can hack them. we might see a rise in Widowmaker and maybe Pharah (widow for pairing with somba to snipe after a barrier is down; phara for her AoE rockets to possibly break Sombra stealth and being too far away to touch)

But that's my two cents, let me know what you guys think.
Now to return to the shadows to work and draw again.

Learning to be more active with these journals to keep you guys in the loop more.

But yeah I haven't been able to do much art lately cause I got a new job; that's not retail hell and I'm enjoying pretty well so far. And it's paying better too, so I'm not in as bad of a pickle as the last two years were working at said retail hell.

But yeah once I acclimate to this job more, I'll see about streaming more (publicly) and get more stuff done.

Also another part of me wants to make a pokemon youtube channel, (making guides for each pokemon, and tutorials on getting into competitive, and etc) but I dunno the "how to" 's for making a video and etc. If anyone has any idea what or how I should go about making the videos, let me know.

SO!
How're you guys doing?

Pardon my Depression, but I do need to show a bit more professionalism.
I'm currently trying to figure out what and how my Patreon page should be built, but I'm working on a banner for it at least~ If you guys wanna pitch suggestions for that, feel free to do so~

Also I should point out that I have a Twitter, though I mostly just retweet stuff from other people I follow, but still, you can get ahold of me rather easily there if anyone wants. You can find it her: >>(X)<<

Also, I've been occupying my mind more with games, mostly Pokemon, Monster Hunter, and Overwatch; it's not much but it's a distraction from my depressive thoughts. I'm not far on Overwatch (like career lv34 and only 2 of the 10 placement matches) but I do like playing it (as long as I can keep the salt low) If you guys want my battlenet to add and invite, feel free and let me know.
I don't have that many people that I chat/play with when it comes to any of the 3 so that's something.
There've been times when I also wanted to announce I'm draw streaming, but I'm often internally discouraged from doing so; again, still trying to work that out of me.

I admit, I haven't been posting all that much, but I have been working on my commission queue and I reduced the numbers down to a more manageable degree.
I'm still open, and if anyone's interested, please let me know

Like I wanna tell you guys how much I hate my job, and that I barely qualified applying to another job (and I don't know if they even will hire me) But I realize I'm constantly having to fight myself just to do things. I'm trying to work on making my patreon page, and I don't know anyone that can assist me on it. Part of me also wants to try YouTube with making Pokemon guides or something. An often ignored part of me wants that I make a webcomic series based on my characters.
And yet, every time I'm about to look into it or see where I should start, a stronger part of me just digs its heels and tells me to stop trying, or that none of them will work, and I should just stay at my miserable job because I already have it. Like I know my job isn't going to come close to paying all the bills and rent, and again I resent even being there; and yet I can't seem to motivate myself to look elsewhere. Like I'm sabotaging myself from being happy.

I know you guys don't want to hear this; I've barely been drawing and my posts are so rare, that I'll be easily drowned out by all the other journals being posted.

I just, don't know anymore

We all know by now I'm horrible with time management and keeping myself motivated. And I'm trying to think of ideas that can help me keep drawing.

I do know that I like the idea of dressing up my characters in various outfits and/or poses, but I always forget them by the time I get to drawing.

So hears an idea, why don't you guys pitch ideas for me in the comments of what you'd like to see.
It can be from outfits, to poses, to even varying sizes; that way I'll have something to draw upon whenever I have an art itch but no ideas.

If you guys need assistance as to some/most of my characters, I made a gallery folder for that: <Here> I have more characters to add, but that takes time too.

Update: I'm liking whats coming on in the comments so far~ Though I feel what a part of me was looking for were risque outfits to dawn on my characters for their amusement/embarrassment, or maybe I wanted lewd pose ideas to contemplate; I don't fully recollect anymore, anyway feel free to pitch what comes to mind.

But yeah, feel free to comment whatever comes to your guys' mind.

Beyond trying to get my art done, I've been trying desperately to apply for a form of free health insurance to be able to check myself in and get a diagnosis on my depression; but it turns out my job pays me over $300/month too much to qualify for free health insurance, so I would hafta get a premium insurance, and here the lowest premium I qualify for is 160/month. I can't pay such a premium, so I can't afford to get the medical attention I need to be healthy and happy.

I've been trying to get more art done, but nothing's sticking, or I lose all energy, or I lose all value and end up stopping. I keep seeing my queue list and knowing it's not going down at all just furthers my lack of value. And with my manager seriously planning on destroying my life by demoting me into a worse position; there's very little point at looking at any positives in my life, as they hold no candle to what is being deemed important.

I'm not quitting art, or FA, or anything like that; but all the things I've been trying to do just keep failing time and again; I keep telling myself to set up a stream, I don't; I plan out what to draw next, no drive or energy; I plan out all the things I need to say to my manager, and they fall on deaf ears. I'm just so done with life that I know I'm depressed, but my managers and life isn't going to acknowledge it unless I get it diagnosed; but I can't get it diagnosed if I don't have the insurance, but I can't get the insurance because my job pays too well, but it's not good enough for me to afford rent by myself and hafta rely on my brother living with me to sort this all out, but nothing is getting saved up.

I'm gonna try and get something done, doubt it will go anywhere though.

So my PayPal got hacked and drained 100 from my account, money i don't have, so it had to take it from the bank; also money i don't have. So now I'm going to be in the red. I was able to change my password, but it's refusing to let me report the transaction as unauthorized.

And after my managers berate me and are seriously planning on downgrading me off of my position, essentially killing me slowly faster. And them telling to my clinically depressed face that i need to be happier and get over my sadness if I want to keep my position, which they won't.

Yeah, telling the depressed person barely scraping by who has lots of thoughts about suicide that he'll be losing his job due to his depression does not make him less depressed.

I'm just so angry right now, I'm beyond emotions; I'm just that numb and dead right now.

I'll talk to you guys later eventually.

Yes, yes we all know about FA's attacks lately, and people are posting links about where to reach them whenever that happens again.
And admittedly I'm no exception.
However, before I post my other places, I need to point a thing or two out first.
 xizana lost access to her account during the recent password reset so she has to go to a new account; If you like cute stuff, and a super fast and adorable art style, you can find her new account here:  looseleaftea
 lioness.creations.inc also lost her account as well, you can find her here:  kittyshark.creations.inc

As for myself, I admit I don't give as much attention to other sites as I do here on FA, so the pages I do have are still rather bare bones, plus depression lack of energy and work tends to drain me of wanting to put anymore effort other than the bare minimum.
Anyway:
Weasyl: (x)
FurryNetwok: (x)
I COULD say I have a twitter and Tumblr page for you guys to look at, but I don't post anything or it's mostly just reblogs/retweeting spam and not much of me actually posting stuff; I'll see what I can do, until then, no links.
There's other places, but I haven't touched them in forever, so it's not really worth it.

Anyway, more work and art eventually. I might have some YCH stuff, but I doubt anyone's interested. Anyway, how're you guys doing?

Alright, so things are beginning to improve over here. I finally have a new (yet used) car, and my schedule is staying rather consistant; hopefully the next few weeks are the same so as I can maintain working on my art and etc.

If you all were wondering, I have a backlog of art to post, but I didn't wanna open the floodgates until I had finished a few things I owe. Question: would you guys rather I just start posting everything, or wait until the backlog is caught up?

Otherwise, what's everyone been up to?

So my car is so damaged that i can't afford to get it repaired, even if I were finish up all my commissions and take a ton more, I can't repair the car. A blown head gasket on a discontinued engine. Everything that is my life is shattering. Work is too far to walk, yet close enough that I can't take a bus easily; my brother also needs rides to his work too. It's amazing how on the edge I've been living, believing it to be the norm; it very likely is for the most part. Still, no one around me will be able to give me rides to work, I can't squirrel anything away to buy myself a new car, and I don't have anyone that I can turn to for help.

Just everything.
I'm gonna try and get more art going and see if I can situate more streams, but yeah this a salt lousy week for me, especially since my birthday is tomorrow. Oh well.

Still, How're you guys doing as of late?

I admit I was trying to write up an update journal earlier in the week, but apparently tabbing out on your phone wipes away all that got written, so I had a quiet rage and didn't wanna write up a new journal till now. So yeah, another attempt at an update journal.

I haven't been able to draw a whole lot lately due to my work. Even more annoyingly, my PC tends to not let me load in either my streaming program(s) or properly sync my tablet to my art program; leading to frustration and rebooting my PC for a second or third time. And if things align and they both work, it is very likely my stream will end up having hiccups with overall cpu usage, and I don't know what to fix up to improve the quality... I had come to the conclusion that I do better art wise actually streaming, but the lack of time management and the soul crushing drain that is working in retail makes streaming a bit of an issue. Even when I tell myself, or tell a friend to remind me, it doesn't happen either.
So yeah, to those pondering about my lack of art, I super suck at keeping on the ball; especially when under stress.

Also more car issues; this time regarding the tabs. However to get the tabs, I need to do some repairs to said car, but again with rent and bills eating most of my budget, car problems become serious issues. On top of that, work either from me or my brother tend to prevent me getting the car in to get worked on. Eh, I guess this is normal. Regarding the car, I think one of the engine pumps isn't functioning properly, there's some wear on the tire axles, and something regarding likely age; I don't fully know, I'm not a car person. Though if I don't get the tabs renewed, my car will get towed and etc.

Admittedly, my birthday is coming up at the end of this month; and it's gonna end up like the last couple years. Eh, I'm used to it by now; nothing planned and nothings likely gonna happen. Though I will point out, the Ratchet and Clank movie airs the day afterwards, so that might be something. Still likely not gonna have enough time and justification to drag myself off to go see it. Oh well.

So yeah ranting aside, art is sluggish, stream options are pigeon held, depression and lack of drive is at another high; yes I have soul crushing work but having to manage all my issues with so little to work with make things quite bleak. Eventually I'll get a couple stuff posted; but first I gotta work on owed stuff before having to go to work.