A bit of a follow-up to https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9273726/ .
Yeah, I'm still in the exact same state that I was two days ago, if not a little worse. I feel like I'm hanging on for dear life right now. I don't EVER want to stop liking males, stop being a dedicated furry lifestyler or stop loving my truest of loves,  beatle9 , but I feel like I'm hanging on for dear life right now... And I don't know what I'm going to do about it. Seriously, can anybody relate to what I'm going through? Has anybody ever feared that the most important parts of his/her/their respective lives were about to vanish due to a feared moment of weakness?
I hope that I"m not worrying anybody, but, I'm really not well right now... My anxiety and depression has done such a number on me that the only thing I can even feel right now is pain and sadness... I don't know how to get out of this...

I feel like I'm in a vice right now, and any more tightness added is going to utterly break me. Do you know how if a bad parent keeps on telling a kid over and over again that he's stupid or ugly or whatever, he'll start to believe it? Well, this is what my anxiety is doing to me... It is trying to take my life of being a gay furry away from me, and I feel like I'm getting dangerously close to cracking under the pressure. I don't know what to do, and this is terrifying... I don't ever want to stop being a furry or liking males... Seriously, I feel like I'm one bad thought away from losing everything I've gained over the past 3 years...

Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds. I've totally lost control over my thoughts, and it's getting UGLY. I really don't know how much more I can take... I'm literally being antagonized and bullied by them right now... My main problem right now is that my anxiety is trying to convince me that I'm not really gay and that I'm no longer attracted to my boyfriend and other males. Like... I'm so upset over this that I've been in a days long panic attack and I've barely gotten any sleep...
There's other things that have been and are being attacked, like me being a furry, but that's the main thing right now... Fuck, I don't know what to do... This is getting TERRIFYING... I don't know how much more I can take.
I apologize if it sounds like I've lost my mind, but honestly, that's not too far from the case right now...

Just a quick little question. Should I redo my profile info section of my page here? I'm a bit concerned that I say too much whereas most other pages I see are short and sweet.
Also, uh, how do you do those icons indicating what groups you're part of?

One of my oldest friends in the fandom,  sooty_brassworth is feeling ignored and underappreciated right now, and it's been an ongoing problem for him. I wish that there was something that I could do to help him out, but I have no idea what to do...
If anyone here has ever gotten a request from him or such, please take the time to thank him for it... He REALLY needs it right now...

The title says it all.  conorhyena and I are looking for an artist who does snuff art so we can commission them to do a scene or something from one of the snuff RP's we did.
Any help at all is greatly appreciated.

Since, uh, I've been getting obsessed with snuff and gore and macabre, I wonder, since my sona is getting killed so often in stories now, would it make sense for him to have a regeneration power, since I'm not too keen on the idea of having each of those stories be a different timeline? Would that make Jamie too overpowered? Especially because he also has a werefox form? But, there would be two handicaps....
The first one being that there is a 24 hour "respawn timer". And that it won't do any good against old age.
So, what do you think about this idea?

What if I told you that Tumblr banning adult content was just the beginning?
I uh, have a knack for uncovering stuff that the mainstream media would rather ignore, and things aren't looking good at all for those who enjoy adult content in the US... I explain it all in this Twitter thread: https://twitter.com/Jamie_Foxworthy.....22085470347264
But, if you don't want to look, my main concern is that the US wants to put conditions on websites in order to maintain CDA 230 immunity (which prevents websites from getting sued for shit their users do), and I fear that one of those conditions might be disallowing adult content, or at least kink adult content on your platform. Because, there's a rather large moral panic going on right now against adult content. Most people just don't know about it, though.

Welp, it's Tuesday evening, and I've been home for almost 24 hours now. Let me tell you, it was the happiest I've been since the summer/fall of 2017. It was a MUCH-needed change of pace for me. As you all probably knew, I FINALLY got to meet my coyfriend,  beatle9 and, fuck, he was even better in real life than he was online!!! <3 (Well, obviously, right?)
Hehee, I even got to meet up with the lovely ol' DireWolf,  open_mind_1 and Border Collie car guy and vore lover,  dmc10398 and I even met a new friend,  vrika . Those three days were some of the best I had in my entire life, and it's a damned shame that it's all over. But, if everything gets to work out, I'll be able to make it to Anthro Northwest in Seattle in November. In any case, it was quite the time of my life, and I'll cherish these memories for the rest of my life.

I'm not going to be very available for the next few days. Today and tomorrow, I have to pack and get ready to go to Anthrocon, and on Thursday night, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I'll be away with my sweetheart,  beatle9 at Anthrocon. Hehehe. ^w^
I'll probably have enough downtime to check in with things here, on the forums, on Discord and on Twitter every now and again, but my availability will be spotty. In any case, I hope that this'll be an amazing time! ^w^

Take a look at this article. This month alone, Patreon has banned all hypnosis and "forced" TF content from their platform, and people are speculating that they're going to eventually ban ALL BDSM content from the site. So, seriously, if you're a kink artist, I HIGHLY recommend finding a different place to go than Patreon. They're trying to do what Tumblr did back in December, but they want to do it slowly to avoid pissing too many people off all at once. In any case, uh, this is a very worrisome development, and I'd probably be naive to assume that this would be the last of it, sadly...
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/patreo.....t-ban-sponsus/

This is pretty freaking upsetting... According to a poll done by GLAAD, the LGBT community is being abandoned by young Americans at a rather noticeable rate... I'd say more, but I'm really upset about this...
https://time.com/5613276/glaad-acce.....-lgbtq-survey/

Heh heh... I'm going to be going with my BF,  beatle9 to Pittsburgh's premier furry convention really soon. Anyone else I know gonna be there?

Today is my 23rd birthday. Damn, I'm getting old. owo

As I mentioned in my previous journal, I have bipolar tendencies and my mood can suddenly flip at the drop of a hat. I occasionally remember that some horrible things are happening; a lot of times, for no damned reason and without prompting.
So, right now, I'm wondering: What changes do you think this site is going to make in order to be Article 13 (17) compliant? Will it be the site's European users that get the shaft, or will everybody share the pain. I know that in the past, I said that I'd rather have the former happen, but I'd really hate to see that happen now...
Additionally, as I mentioned before, I'm worried that this site will have to enact a ban on fan art.
So, yeah... What do you all see happening?
And, I"m sorry for bringing this up over and over again. It's just that this is the most consequential change ever made to internet since its formative years back in the 90's and very early 2000's...

Well, are they?
I uh, have a bit of bipolar tendencies and my mood can suddenly flip at the drop of a hat. I occasionally remember that some horrible things are happening, and yeah, I remember that the US judiciary is now very anti-LGBT and lawmakers across the country seem to be ramping up their efforts to legislate marginalization towards anyone who doesn't fit nicely into their religion. So, should I be worried that the LGBT community, or even the furry community, is running on borrowed time in the US?
I know that I might sound like I'm just panicking, but it's hard not to when you see op-eds saying that influential people are working hard to turn the US into a totalitarian Christian dictatorship with Dominionist (Sharia) law. Not to mention how some of these projects to turn the US into a "Christian" nation have very Nazi-sounding names, like "Project Blitz".
So, yeah...
And, PS, I apologize for sounding adversarial towards those on the right politically. I harbor no ill-will towards most Republicans and Republican voters. Just those like Senator Ted Cruz of Texas. Those who treat the concept of Separation of Church and State with disdain.

Um... My favorites are going to start filling up with some macabre art, but that doesn't mean that something inside of me has broke or changed. I'm still the same cheerful and bubbly foxxo that I've always been.
I uh, was always into this stuff, but I've gone through a bit of an awakening through discovery here on site and through meeting some new friends. So, yeah... I haven't gone off the deep end or anything....

I'm 2 days late, but I'd like to wish everyone here a very happy Pride Month! Love my super-gay BF,  beatle9 so fuckin' much and I hope I get to be with him forever more! >w<

I hate to mention my home problems, but it's half of the reason why I'm such in a poor state right now.
Now that the internet is in jeopardy, thanks to Article 13/17 , I'm in full-blown panic mode, since my boyfriend,  beatle9 lives so far away from me...
I want to go and live with him immediately, but it's not as simple as that.
He and his friend,  sekkeanubis , won't be looking for an apartment until December. That in itself was pushing it... By winter, several EU countries will have implemented Article 13.
And, it gets worse. I can't leave my home in December. For multiple reasons, I'm stuck living in my childhood home until May of 2020 at the earliest and August of 2020 at the latest. I'm more than a year away until I can leave and that thought is literally making me ill!
I think by winter, the entire internet will have reverted back to the Web 1.0. So, that'd mean I'd have to go many months without interacting with my community, friends and boyfriend in the way that I'm used to.
I don't know how I can do that... SERIOUSLY
So, yeah, what the hell do I do? I desperately want to flee Massachusetts before everything collapses, but I don't think I have enough time to do it, and it's not even my fault...
I need help! Desperately! I'll listen to ANY suggestion!

I'm REALLY concerned that Fur Affinity will have to completely ban fan art in order to remain compliant to the newly adopted copyright directive in the EU. What would that mean for the site? Would it take a massive hit in popularity like Tumblr did?
What if known fan artists or people who use Pokemon or such as their sona have to be banned from the site? The future has never looked so bleak...

The ink hasn't even dried on the apocalyptic European copyright directive, and France has declared that their version of this law will be in force by the end of summer. Which means we only have a few weeks left until the internet comes crashing down like the Hindenburg...
At the VERY least, fan art will have to be banned... And if that happens, no one will like this website anymore... And that's one of the BETTER case scenarios... Seriously, how is this site supposed to implement Tumblr-style upload filters, or otherwise prevent certain content from EVER being uploaded EVER AGAIN? It's not possible...
Is this the end of it all?
http://www.culture.gouv.fr/Presse/D.....-le-27-mars-2019

It's over. Article 13 has been approved and is now law of the land in the EU. It was fun while it lasted...
So, what's going to disappear from the site? Fan art? Or all European furs?

A close friend of mine,  sekkeanubis , has a few adoptables up for sale, and she'd greatly appreciate the business. If you want to buy a cute new OC, I suggest you go check out her page: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/sekkeanubis

It's been like, what, 2 years, since I posted a story to this website?
For a self-proclaimed writer, I haven't been doing much writing at all.
But, there's a reason. I've been drowning in my anxiety/depression so much lately... I've just had no motivation whatsoever to write my big Hieroglyphs follow-up. It sucks. It really, REALLY sucks... And I don't know how to feel better.

There's about 3 weeks left until the EU's apocalyptic Article 13 is made into binding law. Seriously, if you live in the EU, you might want to do something about this. There's no guarantees if Dragoneer will allow you to remain a user of this site if you happen to live in Europe. It would be in your best interests to contact your MEP's, or attend one of these protests: https://www.stopacta2.org/stopacta2-events/
However, it seems like I'm largely ignored whenever I post journals like this. I mean, it's not your fault if you want to ignore stuff like this, but, it's contributing to a sense of futility... That my pleas for help are largely being ignored...