Well... Things haven't worked out for me in Seattle. My mother has finally offered to let me move back in with her, so I'm going back to Massachusetts next week. I'm glad that I won't have to worry about housing again for a while, but it really does feel like I've failed... I only lasted 5 years out in the real world...

Hey there, I just wanted to let everybody know that I found a new place to live, and now I'm living in Seattle of all places! I'm sorry that I haven't said too much here lately, and I hope that none of you were worried about me. Now, if only I could get to be with my partner again, and things would be perfect.

I haven't said much for a long time. My life has managed to get even worse since the beginning of the year. I'm being kicked out of my current home and I don't have anywhere else to go at the moment, so I'm going to have to figure out how to live alone for a while... Right now, I really do wish that the last 5 years never happened...

But, it IS Pride Month now, and I wanted to wish everybody a Happy Pride. We WILL continue to thrive no matter what happens. <3

I just wanted to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Not much really changed, and I'm sorry that I haven't had much to upload or really all that much to say in a very long time. Despite the uncertain future, I do hope that things will be able to turn around next year. But, in any case, I do hope that everybody has had an enjoyable holiday season. Despite my semi-radio silence here, I still greatly care about all of you here. :3

Well, this was quite the week. I hope I NEVER have to feel this level of stress again, but I know that the upcoming election is going to do this to me too. In any case, although I haven't had a whole lot to upload here in a while due to being in a bad situation, financially, this website means a LOT to me. I wouldn't be in the furry fandom at all had I not opened my account here back in March of 2017. I wouldn't have my Discord, I wouldn't have been on Twitter, and I wouldn't have ever migrated to BlueSky. I wouldn't have met the person who is now my ex husband and move to Texas for a few years. And I wouldn't have gotten the chance to the person whom I'm now engaged with, . And of course, there are countless friends that I've made thanks to this place. And I value each and every connection that I made that I still have. Even if I haven't talked to you in a while.
Times are going to remain uncertain, of course, but we can survive. Long live FurAffinity!

I'm sure that by this point, everybody has heard the news that FurAffinity's owner, has passed away. While I didn't know him that well personally, he was kind enough to me to answer direct messages whenever I'd be worried about the site or some piece of internet-related legislation that could impact this website. More importantly, he was a pillar to the community that we call the furry fandom. And in a day and age where websites are getting worse and worse due to AI and aggressive monetization, he pushed HARD to make sure that FA remained true to its original vision. My life today, for better or for worse, wouldn't have been possible without him or FurAffinity. Opening my account here back on March 25th, 2017 unlocked a whole new world for me. And while I haven't posted anything here for a long time (due to being in dire straits, financially), I wouldn't trade this website and the community here for the world. So, I wanted to offer Dragoneer my personal thanks. May he rest in peace.

Hey all! It's been a while since I've said anything here, but today was my 28th birthday. I can't believe I'm pushing 30! Anyway, I've been hanging in there. I haven't had anything to really upload since last year due to my living situation, but I'm still here. Sorta. Unfortunately, nothing has gotten better since New Year's. I'm still currently separated from and I don't know how to reunite with them at the moment... But, I've been a little more at peace with things lately. So, there's that. Anyway, here's hoping that things FINALLY turn around for me soon.

I haven't really posted any updates in a while, and I basically wanted to let everybody know that I'm doing okay despite feeling emotionally drained. I'm still living over in Oklahoma and is still in Texas. And we still don't have a path forward to fix this separation... These days, I'm mostly on social media, either Twitter (as @jamie_foxworthy) or the newer BlueSky app (as @scalieshutterbug.bsky.social). But I'm still interested in this platform even though I only usually check in here a couple times a day. I've also been trying to clean up my followers here whenever I have the motivation to do so. Someday, I hope to start posting here again once I get more artwork of my new character. But for now, I've basically got nothing except for a few odds and ends that I might've forgotten to upload. In any case, thank you to all who are still here and looking out for me. I know I've been silent for most of last year, but I really hope to turn things around, luck willing.

I'm still here. I'm sorry that I've gone largely silent lately here on this site. I've been in the worst depression since I was in high school, and given all of the other times over the years' I've been depressed, that's really saying something. I still appreciate all of my friends whose primary home is this site. And I certainly appreciate the faves and watches I get, even if I don't say it.
That being said, I found out that I caught some trouble for being candid about what had happened to me over the summer and why and I got separated. The only thing I have to say about that if I'm truly in the wrong, haven't I already received my comeuppance due to spending nearly 2 months alone and counting?
Anyway, I'm only really bringing this up at all for 2 reasons. First, it's because I've made the decision to purge my gallery of a lot of the art I acquired over the years as a result. Granted, I was always going to do this, but now I actually have the motivation to do so. I've already removed a few things, but I'm still deciding what should stay and what should go. Second, I just... Kind of want to know that y'all are still on my side here... I'm worried that some bridges have been burned. For a multitude of reasons, honestly.
Anyway, I'm still here. I'm still surviving despite everything. If nothing else, I'm resilient despite all of my complaining. So, there's that, at least, right?

With hindsight, it became very clear that I fell into a gravity well last July. I tried so hard, but once things started to crack, it wasn't gonna stop until a fissure opened up and completely swallowed me up. And it has.
I'm being forced to leave Texas alone this weekend. And I don't know when I'll be back, if ever.
Because the move out of San Antonio didn't go according to plan, we weren't able to find a bigger apartment in time, and now Section 8 is forcing me to leave while Nash is now stuck in a lease contract for the apartment I'm being kicked out of. So, we're being forcibly split apart.
I'm going to be staying with a friend in Oklahoma for a little while, and from there, I have no clue if I'm going to stay or just return to Massachusetts.
But, it's completely over now. Everything that I fought for since 2018... Gone. And for those who believed I was irresponsible and undependable when I was still living in San Antonio, I have a question for you: Are you happy now? Do you think this was what I deserved?

So, this is it. My divorce with has been finalized and tomorrow morning, and I are going to be leaving San Antonio to start all over in his old hometown near Dallas.
It all feels like it was such a waste, and honestly, I don't know how to process it all. But, I have all of my friends to help us through. Please wish Nashoba and I luck.

Okay, it's been a while since I've said anything here. Life has been THAT miserable for and I.
First, I'm like 3 weeks late announcing this, but my 27th birthday was back on the 21st of June. Happy late birthday to myself, I guess? XD
Second, I've actually decided to keep Jamie in the forefront after all. I dunno, it's not right to have to scrap a character I've had for such a long time. But, due to the circumstances, I've decided to make Jamie fully female.
Third. This is the most important bit right now. Nashoba and I need help raising money to help us move out of San Antonio in 2 weeks. We're struggling that badly right now... I don't like having to ask for help this way, but we simply can't afford the U-Haul that we need at the moment. If you're able to, please send a donation to https://gofund.me/fa9210b5 . Any assistance at all would be greatly appreciated!
With all of that said, maaaaaan, has the last year been a total drain. I'm just glad that it's nearly over... I'm just glad that we'll have a chance to start over in Dallas very soon. Please wish both of us luck~

Okay, so, a lot has happened since last August. I've been trying to provide periodic updates to the best of my abilities. Nash and I are still trying to hang in there, but IDK, I'm actually legitimately traumatized due to what has happened to us. I need out of San Antonio, but I don't know how to make it happen soon...
But, that's not really the point of this journal. This is more about the fursonas I have and what I intend to do with each of them.
For Jamie Cinder, I've made the decision to essentially discontinue them. Now, I'm not gonna nuke the character from existence, and I may still get art of them one day (who even knows?), I don't see myself using that character anytime soon due to their connection to my ex husband, . I'm... Sorry that it had to happen this way, but I don't really want to keep around relics of my old life. Maybe they'll come back someday, but I don't know yet. I need to recover from everything that's happened, and as long as I'm still in San Antonio, the healing process can't begin.
For my deer sona, she's not called Asher anymore. Her full name is now Azalea Serafina Duquesne-Buck and is a non-binary trans doe. The existing art of her is how she was in her young adult years and Asher is her deadname. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to be doing with her, but she's still definitely in my character roster.
My newest fursona, Skylar Bethany Sloan, is going to be my primary character going forward. It's a pretty big shakeup compared to the past, and honestly, I never saw myself becoming a scalie again, but here we are. I needed a new beginning, and was able to provide it for me. And to be truthful... She's honestly the best character I ever had. Jamie and Azalea never made me feel... Affirmed, for a lack of a better word, before.
Additionally, I came out as transgender back in October or November (life has been such a miserable slog for me, I honestly can't remember when). Now, those who knew me since my early days here on FA might not be surprised, since I have identified as transgender before, but things have come full circle. Thanks to my friends, I realized that I was trans the whole time. It just kinda sucks that I currently live in Texas, a state that's *really* hostile towards trans rights. To the point where I'm unsure if I'll even be able to begin my transition here. I'm trying to leave the state, but I don't know when that'll be, since I'm going to be living with Nash's mom until I can get back on my feet. Please wish me luck...

Ahahaha... Hoo boy...
Yeah, things still haven't gotten any better.
Hope to be out of San Antonio with very soon, but there have been way too many times where we've almost broken up due to the pressure. Tuesday in particular was a particularly traumatic night, because I thought it was going to end the same way for me and Nash that it ended for my parents all the way back in 2002. I have NEVER had panic attacks before in my life. Not until now. Things are so bad for me right now that there were several days where I thought that I was going to have to admit myself to the ER because I just plain didn't feel safe living at my apartment anymore. I just don't know how to turn down the heat... I really don't want this to end with me and/or Nash getting arrested or being locked in the psych ward because one or both of us snapped. I don't even know why I'm still in San Antonio at this point. The apartment lease ends in early August, and I just don't know if it's still realistic for Ash to expect us to find work here when we'd be out of here in about 3 months at the latest anyway... I don't want to be here anymore. Neither does Nash. But I just do not know what to do about any of it...
Does anybody have any advice at all? Because I'd greatly appreciate it.

Reporting in. I'm sorry that I still haven't been here too often, and honestly, based on how few interactions my journals even get anymore, I'm a little worried that I've faded into obscurity. It's been difficult for me to use FA lately, not because of any issues I have with this site. I don't get to use my laptop much anymore because I hate being home, and this site ain't exactly fun to use on a mobile device. Additionally, I've had this weird social anxiety kind of form where it's become difficult to even say hi to people these days. I actually have had a few pieces of artwork to upload as well that I haven't gotten around to posting, thanks to my depression. I've looked through some of my journals, and I'm actually kind of mad at how good I had it before I moved to Texas. I had lots of friends back then and I was regularly able to obtain art. Now I'm stuck living in a shithole apartment without a job and any prospects to leave any time soon. I did not know what depression was until you've had your life destroyed by somebody else and are still dealing with those consequences daily... For the foreseeable future. It really feels like I sacrificed the comfortable, yet full life I had in Massachusetts for nothing. Because right now, my life is pretty much how it was during the early days of the pandemic, but worse. The only thing that's keeping me going is the thought of finally getting out of here with .
If you've been with me all these years and you still want to stop in and say hello, thank you... If you don't... Well... I don't blame you honestly. I know how much of a recluse I've been lately. I just hope I all of the connections I've made since '17 aren't gone...

Okay... So... I have a LOT to say.
Those who've been following me for a long time have probably noticed that my activity here on this site has dropped off since August except for occasionally liking new artwork appearing in my notifs. The TLDR is that I've fallen into the worst depression I've ever been in since I was 16 years old, and it has caused me a lot of social anxiety. I am INCREDIBLY sorry if it looks like I've been ignoring you. It's nothing anybody did. As I said, it's just the feeling of the weight of my problems crushing me... And I've been finding it difficult to even talk to my closest friends these days.
So... What has happened?
Okay, so, as you know, we're all stuck living in a run down but overpriced apartment for the foreseeable future. But, since August, I've since gotten fired by Six Flags because I missed out on some talk from HR and and I have both decided to go our separate ways after 2 years. I'm still with and I plan to leave Texas together soon to start a new life together, but his mental health has been even worse than mine, and it's been a real struggle on top of everything else trying to keep him from being pushed over the edge. I am on the razor's edge of losing everything since the fall of 2017 and I'm not okay.
So, trapped in a run-down and overpriced apartment with two out of the three occupants unemployed, no money for fun things, barely any money for groceries, getting a divorce, on the verge of losing the other person and all three of us have been in bad moods. So, yeah, uh, congratulations 2022! You've won the honor of being my worst year since 2013!

I don't even know what to say anymore. Things haven't gotten better since last month. While we were lucky enough to not end up homeless, the apartment and got stuck with isn't good at all. In some ways, it's worse than the first apartment I had in San Antonio. The kitchen sink won't drain, there's a roach infestation, and there is black mold growing in one of the closets. The others are giving this place more time, but I knew from day 1 that we were in for a world of hurt. Oh, and I'm getting a demotion at my job because I'm not able to put on the perfect show for customers due to my autism. It doesn't matter that I know how to do my job better than at least 50% of my coworkers. Nope. Just because I come off as rude sometimes due to my disability, I'm going to be removed from Guest Relations at Six Flags Fiesta Texas and put back at turnstiles. Because the only thing I'm good for, apparently, is to mindlessly take orders. Oh, and finances have been horrible as well. Don't even get me started on how fucking broke we are at the moment. I don't think we can afford our dump of an apartment, if I'm being honest. I've been spending every day I have off from work out and about... Otherwise, I'd lose my mind. I apologize that I've been keeping to myself here in recent days... I'm just in a bad way right now. Worse than normal. I'm sorry if anybody feels ignored right now...

So, as you know, I rescued from his horrible hick town last month. However, and I can't house him in our current apartment, because it only has 1 bedroom. We gave our current place notice back in MAY that we wouldn't be renewing the lease because we needed a place to live with more bedrooms. And since our current apartment complex is a "Luxury Apartment Complex", the prices for 2 bedroom units are way out of our price range. Originally, we were supposed to have live with us, and I started looking for an affordable 3 bedroom house/apartment/townhouse around the same time we gave notice that we wouldn't be staying at the current place. However, about 6 weeks later, well after we had already brought Nashoba to San Antonio, Maxie reveals that he won't be able to move to San Antonio after all due to finances, forcing us to start the search all over. And hoo boy... That search is not going well at all. Every place in San Antonio is either too expensive, unavailable or just not up to snuff. And this includes the places that would even give us the time of day. Yes... We've had to deal with places that wouldn't pick up the phone or would just randomly hang up on us. And even one place that flat out lied to us just to get us out the door. July has been a horrifically stressful month for all of us... Between the threat of homelessness (we're getting kicked out of our current apartment on the 5th of August because we didn't renew the lease) and getting stuck in a horrible place (I DO NOT want to spend another year in a place like my first one in San Antonio), I've only been really able to focus on moving these days... Everything else has been an afterthought... I think we'll still get this resolved, because I found two good leads yesterday, but until the move happens, it's going to be a very stressful time.

So um... It's been 2 weeks since my birthday (turned 26 years old on 6/21!), and I haven't gotten the chance to really talk about it til now here on FA. It's been *really* hard to use my laptop lately, because I simply haven't had the time, and I don't like typing out long things on my cell phone. But, hey! Better late than never, right?
I love you all... I know I haven't been interacting with y'all much lately, but I still appreciate each and every one of my friends I made here. Here's to another year of friendship! <3

It's been a long and arduous week, but not only have I finally rescued from his horrible situation in Paris, TX, but I've helped him with his new beginning here in San Antonio! It was a long and tough road to get to this point, but now we're there! We've arrived...
Now we just have to get here! And even though it may be a pipe dream, I'd love it if to come to San Antonio as well, so doesn't feel so left out... Anyway, even though the world itself is falling apart, at least things are continuing to improve for me, personally.

Also, sorry that I haven't been active here too much lately, other than to fave art. I've been spending most of my time on Twitter lately... Just know, as always, I do notice faves and watches... It's just overwhelming to send thank-you's most of the time...

Spring is in the air! And want to know what that means? That's right! Texas Furry Fiesta is going to be held from March 17th from March 20th over in Dallas, TX! And I'm gonna be there! Be on the look out for and as well!
A few other things... I haven't been here too often these days, so I haven't said a whole lot or interacted with people here very often...
First, I feel bad for not saying anything about Ukraine in a timely manner. It's a horrible situation and an utterly senseless waste of life. I feel so bad for furries and furry artists who got caught up in this mess. They did not deserve this... I'm always here if you need somebody to talk to.
Second, don't forget about the EARN IT Act. It's still a MASSIVE threat of freedom of expression, especially in light of Florida's "Don't Say Gay" Bill and "Groomer" rhetoric against LGBTQ people. Old journal here for old information: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10123196/
Third, as always, just because I don't leave a thank-you note on your page, it doesn't mean that I'm ungrateful for giving my submissions attention. I have depression and ADHD, so it can be overwhelming. Just know that I care...
In any case, I'll be up in Dallas next weekend. I wonder who I'll get to see there. OwO

I really don't like making journals like this. I was a hot mess before I moved to San Antonio, and I'd constantly be freaking out over one thing or another. The last thing I want is for one of my followers to see this and go "SMH. Here he goes again!".
But, I wouldn't be attempting to ruin your day if I didn't think this was important. Congress in the US just proposed an extremely censorious and invasive new bill called the EARN IT Act. They say it's about "child protection", but the bill's provisions wouldn't do a single thing to accomplish that goal. Instead, it would...

1. Allow individual states to make and enforce laws that websites must follow if they don't want to get prosecuted for child sexual abuse.
You've been following the news, right? States controlled by the Republican Party have been on a tear for the last year or so. The governor of my state tried to pressure libraries to remove books that featured LGBT people or discussed LGBT-related matters, calling those books "pornography". Do you really think that governors like Greg Abbott or Attorneys General like Ken Paxton won't abuse the fuck out of this law to ban anything that offends their fragile Christian sensibilities?

2. Make it incredibly risky for websites to continue to offer encryption. While the present version of EARN IT (Pre-markup. Things could get worse. Or better, as unlikely as that might be) doesn't ban encryption, it does very strongly discourage it by allowing it to be entered in as evidence of negligence. You know how chilling effects work, right? As long as you make something legally risky to do, people will act as though it is officially illegal. In any case, this would end up resulting in a dramatic expansion of surveillance powers.

3. Form an unelected commission that'd determine "best practices" websites must follow. So, while this commission's recommendations might be non-binding, in the real world, judges and lawyers will still point to failure to follow as proof of "negligence" in court. And the people appointed to the commission wouldn't have your best interests in mind. We'd likely get a bunch of cops (since both Democrats and Republicans LOVE law & order. Not the show... The concept) and prude groups like the NCOSE/Exodus Cry who hide their desire to censor content that goes against their religion under progressive-sounding language. They will likely ask websites to censor broadly and share your stuff with law enforcement without asking.

This bill will be an utter disaster if it becomes law. It will completely destroy the concept of free speech as we know it online and subject everything we do to the prying eyes of Big Brother. And the scariest part is that it has a ton of momentum. It's already scheduled for markup next week and has NINETEEN cosponsors in the Senate AND a companion bill in the House. And considering how politically unpopular it was to speak out against FOSTA/SESTA years ago and considering how fast they're going, this could easily wind up on Joe Biden's desk and be signed into law by Memorial Day. I'll be blunt. I don't know if we can stop this. I don't know if anything we see or do today will still be around in the coming weeks. But, we still have to do what we can to make a stand against this. Please, spread the word and all of that. If nothing else, we can't be silent. We have to let these people know that we aren't consenting to this.

For more information, check out https://www.techdirt.com/articles/2.....an-fosta.shtml and https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/.....nline-messages . Also read this Tumblr post: https://fullhalalalchemist.tumblr.c.....-in-the-senate .

So, it's the end of 2021. The end of yet another year. Sorry that I have been more or less absent here on this site (I didn't even remember to change my PFP for the holidays or say anything about Christmas). I've been busy with work and have been spending most of my free time on Twitter (Jamie_Foxworthy if you wanna follow. UwU). Just because I haven't talked to you in a while, it doesn't mean I've stopped caring about you. And with favorites, if I never say anything, it doesn't mean I'm ungrateful for the attention you've given my page.
With that out of the way, 2021 has probably been the greatest year for me since 2017. Yeah, I know, shocking, right? My husband and I got to do so many things this year! In March, we visited and over in Houston for what turned out to be one of the greatest weekends of my life so far. In May, we returned to Houston to visit yet another friend, and had the good luck to meet up with Garoh and Rai again for an afternoon. In July, we made the 8 hour drive from San Antonio all the way to Oklahoma City to see and (and a third person whom I'm forgetting the account of...) for a wonderful, rip-roaring 4th of July weekend! And upon returning, I was able to start a job I was able to handle, working at Fiesta Texas amusement park. In August, Ash and I finally left that horrid apartment by the airport behind to move to a smaller but way nicer apartment by SeaWorld. In October, ACFI happened. We had Garoh and Rai over while we attended the con. Nothing of note really happened afterwards, but 2021 was the year I was hoping for when I first made the plans to move to San Antonio.
Additonally... I have picked up two additonal lovers this year. of Evansville, IN and of Paris, TX!
The future is worrisome, as it always is, but I'm hoping that all of you will help make 2022 just as good of a year for me as 2021 was! I love you all so much!
- Jamie

It's been a while since I posted updates about the Gofundme related to the colonoscopy bill. I am happy to report that Ash & I have raised $933, which covers the vast majority of the bill. And, as a matter of fact, we were able to pay off $500 not too long after the Gofundme opened due to the timely and generous donations of our friends and acquaintances. I'd say that I should be set now, but we'd still appreciate donations so we can build up an emergency fund. But, that's optional. In any case, thank you so much for the help! I'm glad that such wonderful people are here in the furry fandom!

I hate doing GoFundMe's. I hate asking other people for money because, I dunno, it makes me feel like a freeloader or something. But I don't have much of a choice right now... As you know, a few weeks ago, I had to have a colonoscopy done due to showing symptoms of colon cancer. And while they were able to catch a polyp and remove it before it could turn into cancer, the whole ordeal cost over $4000. Insurance only covered $3000, leaving Ash & I with over a $1000 bill we have to pay, and soon. We do not have that kind of money lying around, and we wouldn't be able to pay rent or get groceries and so on if we payed the medical bill. So, I need your help... Ash and I need your help to pay off this expense. We've already made some headway into our goal of $2000 ($1000 for the medical bill and another $1000 for any other doctors' visit I may need, because my insurance coverage for the YEAR is maxxed out...), but we still need all the help we can get. Anything would be appreciated immensely. We'd be so grateful for any assistance. Anyway, if you're able to help out, here's the link to our GoFundMe. Thank you for your time!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/26jeu-he.....source=twitter