With a Canadian Federal election looming (and an absolute monster looking overwhelming in the polls), I'd just like to point out that a whopping 19% of Canadians polled oppose proportional representation, while a 68% minority support it.

Satire? That's not satire. That's what happens when you adhere to a fundamentally and intentionally broken 'first past the post' electoral system. There is no voice of the people, only the voice of the party. Personally, I'm willing to risk two or three back bench loons if it means we don't have to fear yet another fascist kaiju laying waste to our political landscape.

I've tried playing two Pokemon games—three, if you count Pokemon Snap. I'm not sure if they even have an ending beyond "gotta catch 'em all," because they're dull, grindy, and plotless to the point of being unable to even catch me in their basic investment trap play loop. I've abandoned plenty of games before, but at least they were, you know... games. Pokemon isn't a game. Pokemon is a fecking stamp collection, and it always has been. Every 'game' in the series is the exact same damned 'game' as the previous, plus a few new ugly Wuzzles of increasingly bizarre design and overextended reach.

And this is the real reason that Nintendo is gunning for Pocketpair and Palworld. Palworld is actually fun. For all of its jank, it contrasts every total—and easily fixable—failure of the immutable Pokemon formula that was beyond exhausted before your GameBoy's 'heavy duty' zinc-carbon batteries died for the first time, almost 30 years ago.

Can you imagine capturing Professor Oak, then putting him to forced labour producing pokeballs while the police attempt to execute you for crimes against humanity and a band of overenthusiastic groupies want you to sign their breasts (with your blood)? What if Team Rocket packed heat? What if you could grind levels by not grinding? What if you didn't actually have to "catch 'em all", because you have better things to do with your time and attention, and there was actually a goddamned plot? Not that doing so isn't an option. What if you awoke in a beautiful crapsack world where you can find ways to overcome (almost) every boundary and sequence break your way to incredible rewards that won't help your sorry ass when you get cocky? Maybe it'd be buggy, and maybe there would be some poor interface choices, but wouldn't it be fun?

So, leave it to a shit corporation like Nintendo to handle the threat of negative comparison by placing the legal thumb screws on innovative competition rather than stepping up their almost—but not quite—literal game.

Murphy, the kitten I rescued in 2008, is... Well, that was 2008, and this isn't. He's failing fast. What kind of shit universe is this, where you have to be grateful that one loved one dies before another? And that that one will probably die before the world turns into a Mad Max movie? Where your own death is too late not to lose everyone you love, or too early for them not to lose you? I want to talk to the fucking management. With an axe.

...Only if you like the newfangled shite interfaces, because fuck anyone who didn't grow up raised by an iPhone.

Apparently Trudeau has just fecking derelicted in the face of a Trump administration which has expressed a keen interest in annexing Canada. This is definitely not going to pose a problem by forcing an election while the dim troglodyte population that backs Poilievre—an equally dim asshole who openly supports the alt-right—is surging in the polls.

America, you fucking did this. FIX IT.

Why is it that a genre largely defined by near-future technology has such a strong visual association with 80s pop-imagery and the cyan/magenta 2-bit CGA colour scheme? I mean, it makes sense insofar as that's where it all started, but it seems kind of ironic if you look at it for too long.

I just want to exorcise this before heading to bed. See, it's like this: I become unreasonably aggravated and pressurized to near bursting with unbridled weapon-grade pejorative every time I remember the existence of that profoundly silly, cowardly, selfish, egotistical, half-witted, calamitous fop, Benedict Allen.

That is all, thank you.

Fleas navidad. Now, go make an unrepentant oil oligarch your manservant for a week. Or a couple decades. Your call, really.

Name: Tyskie Gronie
Nationality: Poland
Type: Pale lager
ABV: 5.0%
Reason for selection: Look man, I'm running out of excuses.

That's tɨskʲɛ, in Polish. But I don't speak Polish, excepting the questionably useful phrase, "śmierdzący pępek." I had a weird Polish aunt, okay? The town of Tychy has produced beer for nearly 400 years (show me a town in Europe that hasn't produced beer, though), and during the second world war the brewery was run by... er... "occupying forces." Yyyyyeah.

Tyskie Gronie smells ominously hoppy, with a little honey, and... cumin? Maybe? Primarily clean mouthfeel, but it leaves an oddly inoffensive astringent mark. Very slightly creamy. I'm finding the flavour a little hard to process. Sweet, inoffensively bitter, mildly skunky, but gently commanding in the hops and barley area. If you used a weirding module as a beer bong, it might be sort of like this. The LCBO card describes it as "spicy." Huh.

The bottom line: Not a go-to for me, but very acceptable, and characteristic in ways that I'm not sure should be possible. 3.8/5 gom jabbar.

A note to the 0 EDM artists reading this journal:

Scratching: The abuse of a broken record player to create a non-percussive rhythm track; used to excess in the 80s-90s.

Autotune: The abuse of pitch correction software to create a 'robotic' effect, or achieve notes outside of a given artist's natural vocal range; used to excess in the 90s-present.

Ducking: The abuse of tracking software to add 'punch' to a rhythm track—typically the bass portion—by reducing the volume of other tracks for each beat; overused to excess in the 2010s-preasent... and badly.

Ducking is a hypothetically powerful tool for making your percussion track explode. These days, however, it almost always sounds like a thirteen year old fucking around with the volume knob and calling it a "remix." That is not how it's done, guys. Be selective in which tracks get ducked by how much, and remember that "more" does not always mean "better." Experiment with the shape and width of envelope you use; a reverse sawtooth may make it sound more like the heavy beat you want, and less like you're frantically twisting that knob. And to reiterate, "more" does not mean "better"; you're a clockmaker, not a pile driver. I don't care how cool you think that sounds, because trying to be cool is the least cool thing you can do without participating in the christofascist alt-right.

Nightcore: Speed a song up by 50%, crank the bass up, slap a grimdark manga girl on the front cover, and call it a 'remix'.

PNG is rarely the right choice of format. Using PNG where high-quality JPG is called for (read: any time you're not making cartoon flats/simple gradients) is, in my experience, increasing file size by a factor of ten. You are multiplying site bandwidth use by 1000%. STOP IT. LEARN TO USE YOUR MAGIC THINKY-BOX PROPERLY.

Vintage Story. Interesting game. Runs vastly better than MineCraft, in spite of having some features which should obviously have much higher overhead. The crafting system is... 'innovative'.

By "innovative," I mean that in addition to the ubiquitous 'crafting grid', there is voxel sculpting; you have to add or remove material to a variable-sized grid layer by layer, according to an overlaid template. It's not so bad when you're knapping a small, single-layer knife blade from flint. When you're making an unfired clay storage urn, however? You're looking at a grid with a volume of about 1000 voxels (10x10x10 IIRC), demanding precise placement (or non-placement) for each. This process takes a minimum of about five minutes of intense mouse control and clicking/holding if you're good. Let's say, however, that you're 40+ years old, and have arthritis and/or are prone to tendonitis. That adds a new dimension to the term "grind."

...And you will be doing this a lot, by the way, because stone age inventory and storage are punitively small.

Innovation is cool, but it's a good idea to remember that 'immersion' is best applied judiciously; we live in a 'fully immersive environment', and we play games to escape from it. Let's design a fully immersive flint knapping game...

First, you spend real-time hours searching the ground for a piece of flint <<Medium Flint: quality ??%>> that's the right size and overall shape. Then you spend hours carefully chipping away, until an unseen flaw in the stone <<Medium Flint: quality 60%>> causes your blade to snap in half <<Flint Knife: quality 0%>>. You spend several more hours looking for a new flint, start over, and an hour into the process you slip, and the unfinished blade chisels your hand a new orifice <<Status: Wound—*bleeding*>>. You hastily bandage the wound with a torn strip from your tunic <<Status: Wound—bandaged>>, and continue with the knapping. Two hours later, you finish <<Flint Knife: quality 67%>> <<Status: Wound—bandaged, infected>>. <<Status: Wound—bandaged, gangrenous>> <<Status: *dying*>> <<Status: *dying*>> <<Status: *dead*>> <<Status: *decomposing*>> <<Museum Display: skeleton (72%), flint knife (67%)>>

Games are supposed to be fun. Was that fun? Good game design immerses you in the escape, not in a digital sweat shop that produces busywork. If you're paying for imaginary things with real lifespan, then the act of payment should be rewarding. 'Immersion' is best when thoroughly abridged.

There is a car parked across the road. Upside down. The cab isn't really crushed in or anything, and the driver was apparently able to call 911 (call went in at the same time Fez was on the line). It just looks like some giant hand picked the car up and turned it over. Police and EMT are just milling around the vehicle, staring at it. How???

First freeze of the season may have been a factor. Somehow. Let that be a lesson to you: ice bad.

I haven't brought it up, because it seems like there are an awful lot of 'help me pay for vet bills' journals out there, and that's not quite where I'm going with this. About a month ago, Cassie was diagnosed with cancer. Yeah, seems like that's the theme for this household lately. She had surgery three days ago, and her prognosis is hopeful.

In any case, here's where I beg for money—for someone else. We were able to manage the vet bills with assistance from the Farley Foundation. If you'd like to help someone in financial difficulty save their pet, but would like to be sure that really is where the funds are going, then please consider donating. We were very lucky that they weren't strapped for cash by this point in the year.

https://www.farleyfoundation.org/

FYI, we did field $500 of the vet bills ourselves, and that while we still haven't paid off the previous salvo of household emergencies. So 1: this is absolutely not about shirking responsibilities, and 2: a bit of business of some variety would be very welcome. Maybe not anything that demands shipping right now, on account of Canadian postal strike. I nearly resemble a renaissance man if you squint a bit, so... Maybe you need some creative writing or editing? Assistance creating lore or back story? Voice acting or voice-over? I'd just like the chance to accomplish something and be compensated for a change.

Lotta shit going down right now, but for my own little complaint... I'm getting awfully tired of "white male" being thrown around as an easy synonym for "psychopathic trash." Hey, I get it. Awful things happen, so it makes you feel better to have a visible, plausible target to blame for everything that's hurti— hey, wait a second...

So, what the fuck am I, anyways? Well... I'm less than nothing in the eyes of society. Education failed me—in more ways than one—because the 'disability resources' that were available to me as someone with AuDHD consisted of class handouts printed on differently coloured paper if I wanted to drop by the campus offices for them every day, and zero outreach even for that. Capitalism has deemed me 'unemployable' because I am unable to perfectly conform to corporate culture, and I've already been exhausted as a disposable labour resource, now living in constant pain as a result. I'm living in fear of the conservative wolf at my door, telling everyone what a burden I am to society as he freely distributes billions to the rich and hungrily eyes my scant survival for something to gnaw on. And I mean, yeah, I could be gainfully employed with my really unique skill set, if only that almighty capitalist ideal hadn't repeatedly tanked the economy in an endless cycle of bleeding the people too dry to do more than survive and anesthetize themselves. I might even stand a chance if people liked me, but you know... AuDHD. Fuck me, I've even toyed with the idea of starting an Onlyfans that utterly nobody wants.

So as you die of systemic conservative gangrene, don't you worry; I'll be on skid row right alongside you, dying of malnutrition and multiple organ failure because I can't afford my diabetic breathing tax. Okay? I have empathy, I have a stake, I've fought for both myself and others until I'm exhausted in spirit, and I'm sick to death of hearing about how I'm the fucking problem. If you want to blame somebody, then blame the rich and powerful—which is decidedly not me.

Good fukken job voting, america. You allowed a narcissistic, treasonous rapist, con man, pathological bad liar, and probable child predator with a sub-mediocre IQ and an extensive track record of corruption, negligence, and mass depraved-heart murder back into power with the promise that "you will never need to vote again." Nice work. The world thanks you for your unstinting non-effort.

But thank god you didn't let a woman into office. Can you imagine?

Welp... okay, my bad if the admin are listening to the community.

Personally, I never want to see another soiled diaper on this site ever again—but I want it to be because of a user blacklist, not site-wide censorship. Should there be some content which the community gives up in the interest of a social contract? Maybe. It's awfully tricky ground, especially when the line between safety and danger is "I wish someone was doing that to me" versus "I wish I was doing that to someone." Anyways... I admit, good job on backing up, and I heartily suggest taking a good hard look at anyone who mass-reports/ed anything, because you know that it's egregious bad-faith use of site policy as a social weapon.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10983144

I feel like the phrase "mass reported" might be a fucking clue, guys. The alt-right is sweeping this site in the wake of the one admin who had a spine dying. Shame on you all.

Marketers are all about cutting-edge 'dancing baloney', obnoxiously intrusive membership 'invitation' and autoplay video popups, and social media 'engagement' (read: profiling tracker) plugins. Virtually nobody likes this crap. But in spite of gigabytes of irritation and complaints (like this one) which exhaustively prove that these practices and/or associated behaviour are not only ineffective, but will actively make your target market hate you, they persist. And why...?

I just read... well, skimmed a smug industry article about how consumers hate marketers, but are too stupid and lazy to do anything about it, so there's really no reason not to abuse them. And, I mean, if by "stupid and lazy" it means "bereft of choice by a predatory market that has joyfully rocketed down the inescapable slope of the hypercapitalist event horizon whether the consumers wanted to go there or not," I guess the article might be right. But, you know, the funny thing about this whole sack of rancid pig feces is that the circle-jerk sites that promote these practices don't use them themselves. Weird, huh? Bastards.

Somewhere around 15 years ago I volunteered at the Markdale Ontario public library, transcribing genealogical records from card catalogue and select historic local newspaper articles from microfiche to digital format. The newspapers that I processed were from 1884-1888, IIRC; primarily the Markdale Standard, which was still in print at that time.

The articles which I transcribed were to be of local interest. Thus, I let a number of really neat articles go, from articles about furniture reportedly made of petrified human organs and the "key of death" which was used in Florence for covert murder, to warnings (more than one) about the danger of a dustbowl if changes were not made to farming methods. I made a judgement call about one article which didn't strictly fit the 'local stories' criteria, but was close enough, and really needed to be preserved. That article was Captain Smithers' tale about meeting his friend, Captain Zane, whom had been supposed lost when his ship sank years previous.

https://images.ourontario.ca/ghpl/1118860/data

I feel it worth noting that I can find no record of Captain Zane, the Petrel, nor a likely candidate for the Black Eagle or Captain Smithers. It's also worth noting the date on which the article was published: April 1, 1886. Still, it's a damned good ghost story. In any case, as of this time I can find no other reference to this story, and it's possible that this is the last preserved copy. I regret the typos.

At one point in my volunteering, I... may have inserted a rick roll into the historic records when I realized that the local school 'honour rolls' were an utter joke that had cost me hours of very dull data entry without purpose, and I broke a little bit. It was a moment of weakness in which I take no pride. Perhaps in a hundred years it will spark a mystery that will obsess historians for decades.

I... Want to lose myself in a game that feels the way that the theme from 'The Secret of Monkey Island' sounds. Something that's wildly free, mysterious, delightfully rich in atmosphere, and much happier than I am. Yes, yes, I know: maybe give The Secret of Monkey Island a try? But I suspect that the theme may be the very best part of that game. Maybe I should try it anyways. Yarr.

Not gonna say I'm not judgemental; when I smell 'serial killer in training' on someone, I have a problem with it. I think we all should. Like, it's one thing to make art about subjects that are profoundly uncomfortable because they make your instincts scream at you to run away, and another to fetishize those subjects. Like, I don't 'get' vore, but I can respect it up to the point where it hurts an unwilling victim. And... maybe I don't think highly of certain kinks, but I keep my mouth shut if nobody is getting hurt. Ew, but okay, enjoy that. But overall, I mean, we're weirdos, and that's okay.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10973228/

Welp. It's all downhillier from here.

So, the submission has actually garnered a surprising number of views (for me) thus far, but no love. Or hate. Just a lot of "meh." I wrote lyrics/poetry inspired by the Wintersun piece, 'Loneliness', and I thought they were strong enough to get some sort of response? Especially given the shift in subject to a distinctly therian theme. But, like, my wife is the only one to respond at all, and it feels weird. Anyways, in case the promised work was overlooked, here it is: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58256499

Questionnnnn........

How is it that an unwieldy monolith which:
-weighs half a pound
-barely fits in a large hand
-barely functions as a phone
-barely functions as a computer
-barely functions as an input device
-barely functions as an output device
-has a screen which cannot not be covered in fingerprint grease
-overburdens its hard-wired battery
-is intentionally constructed with multiple modes of premature 'user fault' failure
-is intended to be replaced at high cost every year or two
-keeps you constantly connected to corporate surveillance
-transforms society into a de facto Borg Collective (but really, really dumb)

...is a 'smartphone'? How does that idiocy compute, and why the eff can't I get a well-made flip or slide phone that works with Canadian networks? I got a slide phone in 2011; an absolute tank that fits comfortably in your hand or pocket, has a protected screen, and has actual buttons (but not in idiotically contrarian positions). And the buttons are labelled. It holds a charge, it does everything it needs to do, and it's been disabled by the decommissioning of the 3G network. Fan-freaking-tastic. I cannot adequately express my loathing for the anti-functional garbage I've been forced to buy. I just can't stand using the phone anymore, and would rather go incommunicado.

Peak crapitalism... Funk dat.