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Wow 12 years pass by quickly
General | Posted 11 months agoSo that last Journal was a lie.
I still struggle with depression, but what can you do?
It might also always have been because of ADHD
In any case, with all the good places for art exploding, or turning into vile nests of N*zis or AI-Scraping Bots or both, I decided to reactivate my furaffinity account and post regularly again!
Hurray!
In those 12 years, there were a lot where I did not draw much at all, but in the last 3 I really started again.
Also, I am a Vtuber now! Wow.
Streaming almost every thursday and sunday.
I still struggle with depression, but what can you do?
It might also always have been because of ADHD
In any case, with all the good places for art exploding, or turning into vile nests of N*zis or AI-Scraping Bots or both, I decided to reactivate my furaffinity account and post regularly again!
Hurray!
In those 12 years, there were a lot where I did not draw much at all, but in the last 3 I really started again.
Also, I am a Vtuber now! Wow.
Streaming almost every thursday and sunday.
Outlook and Retrospective
General | Posted 13 years agoBlip Bloop Glub Glub
This last year hasn't felt so great for me. It's not that a lot went wrong, although nothing went especially good for me either. I'm struggling with depression since spring 2012 now, up and down, and I feel I might be able to pull myself out of my slump recently.
As such I've entered this new year on an up-note I guess.
I also remembered this account here and caught up with tons of stuff on my watchlist.
Sadly, I haven't produced that much that feels as if it fits to be uploaded here.
This last year, the anthro portion of my work was pretty low. And moreso, the part that isn't just sketches and works-in-progress.
I finished writing a book I suppose! That is pretty cool, and not something everyone can say.
It's not as if it's published though, and although there's a race which is pretty much rabbit-furries, I don't think it classifies as a "furry book", if such a thing even exists.
I suppose it does, if you count the Redwall series.
Here's to this year though, and happy new year for everyone out there. I've read something nice somewhere regarding resolutions: So instead of saying something like, "I'm gonna get lots of new followers!" or "at least 10 favourites!" I'm gonna resolve myself to some worthwhile goal that I can actually effect, and which has inherent merit that leads to growth, instead of just some outside measure I feel i have to compare myself to - which will majorly result in feeling bad when i fail to come up to it.
So I resolve to work hard this year, to draw as much as I can and to try new and difficult things instead of sticking in ruts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This last year hasn't felt so great for me. It's not that a lot went wrong, although nothing went especially good for me either. I'm struggling with depression since spring 2012 now, up and down, and I feel I might be able to pull myself out of my slump recently.
As such I've entered this new year on an up-note I guess.
I also remembered this account here and caught up with tons of stuff on my watchlist.
Sadly, I haven't produced that much that feels as if it fits to be uploaded here.
This last year, the anthro portion of my work was pretty low. And moreso, the part that isn't just sketches and works-in-progress.
I finished writing a book I suppose! That is pretty cool, and not something everyone can say.
It's not as if it's published though, and although there's a race which is pretty much rabbit-furries, I don't think it classifies as a "furry book", if such a thing even exists.
I suppose it does, if you count the Redwall series.
Here's to this year though, and happy new year for everyone out there. I've read something nice somewhere regarding resolutions: So instead of saying something like, "I'm gonna get lots of new followers!" or "at least 10 favourites!" I'm gonna resolve myself to some worthwhile goal that I can actually effect, and which has inherent merit that leads to growth, instead of just some outside measure I feel i have to compare myself to - which will majorly result in feeling bad when i fail to come up to it.
So I resolve to work hard this year, to draw as much as I can and to try new and difficult things instead of sticking in ruts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Self doubt
General | Posted 14 years agoIä Iä Shub Niggurath!
I'm not long enough on FA to really consider myself part of its community but I've found myself thinking...
... what's with all the deleted submissions? Seriously, half the time I am checking the submissions on my watch lists, 50% is already gone again, and I don't really get the purpose of even uploading it. Are they just giving a glimpse, a tease ? Are they trying to be mysterious? Or is it simply that it's on long enough to have someone drop a vile and base critique that makes the artist pull it back in shame?
Or are they just plagued by crippling self-doubt, thinking something is good enough to show, then suddenly, after ten minutes in the kitchen returning from a nice sandwich or some hours d'oevre to the screen and suddenly they realize the work they just posted is such utter crap they have to undo it?
It's a bit weird to me, especially since I consider none of my works done or perfect, it's all just half-way steps, not that my skill can keep up with any of those I'm watching anyway ... but shouldn't better artist feel even more secure in their work?
Sure, as a real artist, you always see errors and flaws in your art that you can improve on, and never say "ok now I'm good enough", but always going to try and get better.
But that doesn't mean your old, worse stuff is something to be ashamed of. It illustrates your way as an artist.
And if you can't deal with people seeing that as well, what's the point of uploading in the first place?
And if I know I'm likely to pull down my submissions again because I have a habit of later thinking they are utter crap, unfit to be seen by anybody and deserving to get hidden in some dark basement, how about thinking twice to upload it and letting it lie for a while...
As it is, it just seems to be unecessary clutter in everyone's inbox...
It's like "Look I drew something.. BUT I'M NOT GONNA SHOW YOU!"
It's the kind of ridiculous childish thing that just makes me want to see it MORE, and bugs my curiosity. Maybe I should check more often and download all the submissions. It's just weird to have holes in the favourite list...
I'm not long enough on FA to really consider myself part of its community but I've found myself thinking...
... what's with all the deleted submissions? Seriously, half the time I am checking the submissions on my watch lists, 50% is already gone again, and I don't really get the purpose of even uploading it. Are they just giving a glimpse, a tease ? Are they trying to be mysterious? Or is it simply that it's on long enough to have someone drop a vile and base critique that makes the artist pull it back in shame?
Or are they just plagued by crippling self-doubt, thinking something is good enough to show, then suddenly, after ten minutes in the kitchen returning from a nice sandwich or some hours d'oevre to the screen and suddenly they realize the work they just posted is such utter crap they have to undo it?
It's a bit weird to me, especially since I consider none of my works done or perfect, it's all just half-way steps, not that my skill can keep up with any of those I'm watching anyway ... but shouldn't better artist feel even more secure in their work?
Sure, as a real artist, you always see errors and flaws in your art that you can improve on, and never say "ok now I'm good enough", but always going to try and get better.
But that doesn't mean your old, worse stuff is something to be ashamed of. It illustrates your way as an artist.
And if you can't deal with people seeing that as well, what's the point of uploading in the first place?
And if I know I'm likely to pull down my submissions again because I have a habit of later thinking they are utter crap, unfit to be seen by anybody and deserving to get hidden in some dark basement, how about thinking twice to upload it and letting it lie for a while...
As it is, it just seems to be unecessary clutter in everyone's inbox...
It's like "Look I drew something.. BUT I'M NOT GONNA SHOW YOU!"
It's the kind of ridiculous childish thing that just makes me want to see it MORE, and bugs my curiosity. Maybe I should check more often and download all the submissions. It's just weird to have holes in the favourite list...
No Subject
General | Posted 15 years agoCͤ͑̾̈́ͭ̂̓ͪͣ͒ͯ̂̆ͪ̚͞҉̱͎̙͙͉̬͕̣̞̘̥͔̹͉̙̰̫̖͢H̶͎̺͙͈̭̗̥̩̼͕̼̮̬̯̺ͤ̈̐ͣ̌̑̂̈̈̕͢͝A͚͓͔̹̭͓̯̘̜̺̳̫̹͈̣̙͎ͮ͌ͪ̐̕͡O̢̝͙̤̞̼̯͍͎̻̤̪̯̰̟͉ͦͦ̄ͭ̀̽͗̌̌͆ͣͦ̋͡ͅS̸̛̗͓̳̺̱̦̞͔̪͖̉ͦ̆͌ͬ͋̓̌̐ ̷̨̳̗̫̱̙͉̟̮̣͊̒̅͆̇̊ͮͮ̀͒̋ͥ͊͛̈́͢͟͜I̞̟̣͈͇̜̭̤͓͙͔̟̒̈́̓̐ͤͯ̎̇ͤͬͥ̀̾̀͘͢͝Şͭͫ̈́͛̿ͩ͌̚͏̫̯͉͖̪͝ ̦̱̭̤̣̯͇̪̦͙̗̭͓ͭ͒̌̓͌̂̽̐̎̓ͪ̾̚̕͟͢͠ͅN̢̖̥̦̣̥̩͓̝ͮ͒̂̌͑́͗̾͟͜E̶̷̪̯̩̳͓͚̭̳͚͍̹̒̋͌͗̽̉̕͡ͅĄ̄ͣ̔̓̚̕͏̻̙͕̖̪̹̞̹Ȑ̶̛̬̲͖̩ͨ̄ͧ̿ͪͩ̍̌ͦ͐͂ͨ͐͑̊̚̕͞͞ Cͤ͑̾̈́ͭ̂̓ͪͣ͒ͯ̂̆ͪ̚͞҉̱͎̙͙͉̬͕̣̞̘̥͔̹͉̙̰̫̖͢H̶͎̺͙͈̭̗̥̩̼͕̼̮̬̯̺ͤ̈̐ͣ̌̑̂̈̈̕͢͝A͚͓͔̹̭͓̯̘̜̺̳̫̹͈̣̙͎ͮ͌ͪ̐̕͡O̢̝͙̤̞̼̯͍͎̻̤̪̯̰̟͉ͦͦ̄ͭ̀̽͗̌̌͆ͣͦ̋͡ͅS̸̛̗͓̳̺̱̦̞͔̪͖̉ͦ̆͌ͬ͋̓̌̐ ̷̨̳̗̫̱̙͉̟̮̣͊̒̅͆̇̊ͮͮ̀͒̋ͥ͊͛̈́͢͟͜I̞̟̣͈͇̜̭̤͓͙͔̟̒̈́̓̐ͤͯ̎̇ͤͬͥ̀̾̀͘͢͝Şͭͫ̈́͛̿ͩ͌̚͏̫̯͉͖̪͝ ̦̱̭̤̣̯͇̪̦͙̗̭͓ͭ͒̌̓͌̂̽̐̎̓ͪ̾̚̕͟͢͠ͅN̢̖̥̦̣̥̩͓̝ͮ͒̂̌͑́͗̾͟͜E̶̷̪̯̩̳͓͚̭̳͚͍̹̒̋͌͗̽̉̕͡ͅĄ̄ͣ̔̓̚̕͏̻̙͕̖̪̹̞̹Ȑ̶̛̬̲͖̩ͨ̄ͧ̿ͪͩ̍̌ͦ͐͂ͨ͐͑̊̚̕͞͞
