to update my friends here as well;
i've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and i'm starting new medicine that'll help me out <3

feeling optimistic that it'll work and that i'm not alone! the psychiatrist was lovely; she noted that i was nonbinary and used my preferred name ;A;

EDIT: I wanted to add a content warning for mentions of general abuse. i don't go into depth but it's mentioned and alluded to

--

i live

thank you for the new watchers over the last month and the kind comments <3 i'm still trying to come back from a hiatus, but, uh...

some of you may know that i have C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), which is a fairly new diagnosis. i was diagnosed with PTSD after my abusive relationship in highschool, but that diagnosis was upgraded to C-PTSD sometime last year when i finally opened up about my childhood to my therapist. i came to terms with the fact my father wasn't just strict, but abusive both physically and emotionally.

however, my childhood is - apparently - a lot like A.I. "art"; the more you look at it and think about it, the worse it gets.

i've uncovered some stuff that i had buried/forgotten that my father did to me/made me do, or things that were so innocuous that i didn't even give much thought to it until everything started to unravel. it's... really bad. i'm not gonna say what this thing is; i'm not ready to outright admit it to the general public, and i don't know if i'll ever be ready to. but if you know then you know.
i'm not trying to open up about this to get sympathy/attention; i don't want attention for something like this, and anyone who does is sick in the head in ways i cannot fathom. however, i want to illustrate my mindset and that i am not just trying to be sparse online/avoid commissions (i've been working on them and everyone on my queue has been/will be updated soon). furthermore, the stress of being stalked by two petty, self-absorbed assholes really isn't helping me relax/recover. i know you two are reading this because your lives aren't fulfilling and happy, so i hope y'all are feeling good about your actions right now.

o also i broke my foot lmao

i'll be okay, though, no thanks to my father and The Undesirables (aka: my stalkers). it will take me time to recover from this; this may lead to other diagnoses, so i'm gonna see a psychiatrist as well. in the mean time, i ask for your patience. i won't be online every day of the week (meaning here, twitter, tumblr, ect). i may be slow replying to dms or comments. i may be slow at posting art. i miss posting and being more active, but i need to take it at my pace without feeling expected to be back from my hiatus at 100% right away.

what this means for the future of my art business is i'm closing my commissions for the moment and finishing my queue. when i return to doing owed art i'll be coming back with YCHs and taking a number of comms before closing them again. idk how many i'll take before closing them to clear the queue, that's something I'll have to decide. but that way i can get comms out in a more timely manner while still being able to make an income on YCHs. plus then i can make designs to sell on buttons + keychains on Etsy or something like that.

thank you for taking the time to read this (minus you, Undesirables). i appreciate you giving me your time and your understanding.

Love you guys <3

-Jaden

i lost my grandpa this morning. he's reunited with his wife after 5 months of being apart. they were married for 67 years, so I can imagine being apart is hard.

i'll see you later, pawpaw. i'll continue to make you and nana proud.

--

art might be slow coming. i'm making a memorial piece for them

heyooo, happy new years to you all! i hope your holiday season was good!

I'm really looking forward to what this year has to offer! I'm very hopeful and in good spirits this year will be better than last year and the year before!
Genuinely the past few years have been so full of stress and unnecessary drama, especially from two miserable low-life individuals who have nothing better to do with their pathetic lives than stalk me and my fiance online (who has been the only good thing consistently in my life since we got together). I'm hoping this year they finally get some help and realize how fucked up they both are and just leave us alone. Though that is asking a lot of two narcissists... But I can dream that 2023 will be the end of the headache that is our stalkers, either by them backing off or the police getting involved :)

Anyways, I'm going to get back into posting my art and working on commissions!

Love you guys - hope 2023 is a good year for you all!

hello all! i hope things have been going well.

i apologize for the unannounced hiatus! To summarise;

-fam visited from out of town for thanksgiving bc I'm a dirty American around the time I had burnout
-chronic pain was flaring up bad because of fluxating weather in my area (it's still a daily struggle)
-my grandfathers health has taken a nose dive (I lost my grandma in the summer, so this really stressed me out)

i'm gonna try and start coming back here, to tumblr, and to twitter, but please be patient with me! ❤️ i'm still getting the hang of everything and trying to balance my life again.

Much love!

-Jaden

Heyo everyone!

I'm sorry for the inactivity, I posted an explanation for my hiatus on my Twitter, if you want to get a better understanding: https://twitter.com/j_blackrose_art/status/1553152004175925250?s=20&t=70CjyKIam3OIN81ZIdN-cg

But the TLDR is I was burnt out from my job and I was fired for my disability. I was so burnt out from work every day that I had no time for art. Now I've been doing art full-time, and while I'm not making much at the moment, I am so much better mentally than I was at the start of the year. I actually forgot I had a furaffinity account until pretty recently, actually ^_^" so I'm going to start uploading my art here again very soon!

Thank you all for being patient and for the watches! I hope you all are doing well.

-Jaden