As I'm sure many of you know (since you follow my life with fanatical devotion), I've never attended a furry convention. I've only been in the fandom for three years, so it hasn't exactly been a point of interest relative to the prior sixteen that centered around "must be productive and friendly." And even then, it wasn't until my summer employment a few months back that I had the combined independence and financial ability to actually register and attend one. So, being in a position to actually go, I find myself with an almost crippling sense of dread at the prospect.

There are some pretty obvious causes of this fear, and I doubt anyone would debunk them. Chiefly, it's that furries horrify me. The people I associate with- namely, you guys- I like just fine, and there a lot of other cool folks all around that I'd love to meet. But we all know of a few furs who we just never want to meet. Again, you can all think of a few examples. The idea of being in the same building as these people for a whole weekend sounds more like something that Eighth Amendment was put in place to disallow than a recreation event.

But there's something even larger- I've been to anime conventions before, and even more horrifying than the weirdos whom were begging for ridicule, I was too shy. I can only function socially when I know what's going to happen in a certain situation, and furries aren't know for their predictability. What I mean is, I'm not very flexible or spontaneous, so the con atmosphere overwhelms me and I end up opting to go and sit in a corner and just watch people walk by. It's entertaining in its own regard, sure, but I didn't have to pay $50 to do it.

So I guess my question to you guys is- is it worth it to go? I know relatively very few people in the fandom, and while I'd like to know more, it's just a very daunting event for me to consider. It's a little late for me to do FurFright, since that one's closest, though I also don't know of all that many.

tl:dr Duino is shy. How do I con?

Here's an idea.

You lazy bums have been coasting off my free insults for far too long. And you know what? I'm sick of it. You lot need to earn your right to my abuse. But I'm interested in what you chumps can muster. So go on, let me have it! I won't even insult you back. Promise.

...that in his canon use as a character, Duino isn't the main protagonist? He's actually a more minor character who plays second banana to a cast of more "friendly" cartoon characters, all of whom he detests.

...that Duino's mother is a Roadrunner while his father is a Mandarin Duck? His father is an accomplished medical professional while his mother is a stay-at-home mom who supported Duino's desire to be a cartoon character despite his father's reservations.

...that Duino is named for Rainer Maria Rilke's "Duino Elegies," a series of ten poems so named for an Austrian town most of them were written in?

...that the reason Duino is a Mandarin Duck is because it was decided that the white eye shapes Mandarin Ducks have was decidedly "cool as hell" and little else?

Late night and bored. Have some character trivia.

"Villain" is a word I've heard tossed around a few times lately, in the context of toony fursonas who exist to essentially be jerks and make others' lives miserable. From that description, I've never really been sure of where the heck I sit on the issue.

In his use to me, as a character in the story he's from, Duino is technically a villain. He's in the main party, yes, but he does some pretty evil things at one point or another. But outside of that sphere, he's just kind of a jerk. I've always held the notion that Duino doesn't inflict cartoony violence on someone unless they deserve it- i.e., hurt him first, or show serious disrespect. After that, the gloves are off (they were never on in the first place, but whatever).

See, the thing with Duino is that his whole character is in the belief that he's BETTER than you. Smarter, prettier, more handsome- and as a result, he doesn't like anyone else and believes they should be admitting his superiority. He takes the public to be a mass of adoring fans, and doesn't wail on them willy-nilly lest he risk losing support. It's when he finds the truth does he get mad. So Duino isn't an ideal cartoon villain, just a big jerk obsessed with fame.

I was just doing some thinking on my RP style and where it comes from, and came up with this. Seems to fit pretty well. Though to the chuckleheads I RP with: if you'd prefer me to be more aggressive with the beating you up and all that, I can certainly try. Part of me wants to try making a new character who exists just to do that, but I doubt the duck'd mind taking a more proactive approach.

Lately my submissions box has been kind of quiet, and I think it's because I'm not watching enough people. I love all the art on this site, but I really want to find more stuff that's relevant to my interests, especially those who don't have a ton of attention already. Still, who do you guys like, and who do you think I should check out? (If I don't know you already, feel free to say yourself! Just be bracing for potential sarcastic comments. :3)

Keep in mind I like:
-Toony stuff
-Avians
-Slapstick
-Video Games
-Crossdressing (jokes or otherwise, it's all funny to me)
-Your Mom

Thanks, guys!

That's right, we're going again! Comment and get yourself served!

-Everything*
-Especially you
-Omega

*excpet Astro

An icon like mine. Because let's face it, you guys need help looking cute.

Luckily for all you gross weirdos,  figaccdgi has opened up commissions on icons like this! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8857096/ Look at those faces. They're absolutely adorable.

The best part is, they're $2 apiece! Yes, two! It's a downright steal and if you don't go give him business right now I'll think you really are as stupid as you look. It's his first time taking commissions, so be gentle. But by God, this is the best deal all year! Go get yourself a piece of it!

Normally when I can't sleep, I try writing a journal. Tonight was weird in that I couldn't bring myself to focus on one topic. I started a ton, and instead of fleshing any out, here are some random tidbits.

Duino go to bed. You have to get up early for class and then mammal antagonizing.

Have you ever seen on some reference sheets where the artist has included a few details about the character, or when artists ask for words to describe a fursona? How come nine times out of then people include the detail that they're "fun-loving" or "snuggle-loving?"

My roommate's snoring sounds like a clogged garden hose. ...or maybe that's an actual garden hose going off? Or spray paint?

There are a lot of firetrucks around here. The station is just off-campus- literally, right next to the building I had class in last semester. Made lectures interesting, to say the least. But with my dorm in essentially the same spot it's less awesome since I get to be woken up anytime there's a fire. I mean, yeah, there's a fire, but I'm trying to sleep. ...man, I'm self-absorbed when I'm tired...

Why am I still awake OH MY GOD DUINO GO TO SLEEP

These are cogent and meaningful. I'm happy to have wasted your time today.

I won't even waste your time with my usual long-windedness. Just say stuff, I really don't care what. (Looking at you, watchers I've never heard from ever.)

It's one of those bittersweet kind of days. Sweet because come Monday, I'm moving into the dorm, and therefore can enjoy all the social interaction and freedoms that comes with. But bitter because the whole weekend will be spent packing, cleaning, and reading- just a lot to do. Also, as you can probably guess: I'm extremely bored.

So, the solution is simple. Entertain me! Tell me a joke or a story, strike up a conversation. Heck, y'all can IM me if you have the hankering. But I have a real craving for distractions right now and I'd really appreciate some help in filling it. Thanks, guys.

By Thalia, you guys are just coming out of the walls. I've never gotten so much new attention in such a short time before. Of course, it's all well-deserved, but it's still both surprising and gratifying. Thanks to everyone who continues to actually pay attention to my hijinks, both new and old! And I promise, whatever it was that I did to earn your eternal devotion, I'll try my best to keep doing it.

Well. Guess I'm crossing that line I never thought I would.

In less than 12 hours, two of my friends are going to pick me up and wisk me off to Daniel Webster College in New Hampshire for something the bronies are calling "Two Seasons, Two Days." It's a semi-small brony even that is exactly what it sounds like. Both of my friends are Bronycon vets, and while I never wanted to take all this too seriously, it'll be nice to get out of the house. And hey, at least I can wear my Rotten Tomatoes shirt for people who can appreciate it!

Point is, I'm going to be gone for the next 48 hours or so, give or take. I doubt anyone's going to need to reach me desperately, but it never hurts to affirm. Though I encourage anyone who wants to bug me through Yahoo Messenger to do so, since mobile IMing gives me something to do in the car ride.

See you all after the weekend! And if any of you bozos even thinks of having a house party at my place while I'm gone, it's the frying pan for the lot of you.

Alright! More "Duino can't sleep" journals! These are always super coherent and meaningful. Though in all seriousness, this is something that I've had on my mind for a while now, and it's one of the few things I feel really strongly about.

I'm a six-foot-tall ginger with short hair, freckles out the wazoo, glasses, and a fondness for shirts with pop culture references on them. I'm also an English major and an Honors student at that. So the one thing people normally associate with me (aside from the phrase "sexy as hell") is reading. And yet here I am, thirty pages into Stephen King's "Misery" as a promise to the girl I really like, and all I can think is "This is really boring."

I'll be perfectly up front: I don't care for reading. Novels, anyway; I love reading journals and comments and the occasional tidbit online. But even news articles turn me off if they're lengthy. Thanks to years of internet and video game exposure, I have an incredibly short attention span and can't handle the process of reading a book long enough for it to bear fruit. It's nothing against authors or writers on the whole: I love what they come up with and hell, I aspire to be one of them some day. Stephen King is brilliant, of course, and a lot of his work deserves the praise it gets. But I just don't find myself caring about the "piles" and the tide and the symbolism. It's good, of course, but we get it, he's in pain. As well-described and paced that is, I just find myself rushing the story for no good reason.

I'm not going to say I hate reading; oh, no, it's a great thing. It's just not for me. We live in an age where the presence and creation of visual media is able to happen on a staggering scale, and far outshines average print sources in terms of effectiveness in marketing and other pursuits. And, as a subject and hopeful creator of all this multimedia, I consider some examples of it on par with literature. A game or TV with a good story can be as emotionally involved and draining as a novel, if not more so. One can have all the positive effects reading brings from visual media, be it exposure to plot and story elements, life lessons, and even just something to talk about.

Not every visual media is on par with books, of course. I'm not going to say Just Cause 2 could dethrone Tale of Two Cities as a must-read. But just like that, there are books whose stories pale compared to games. Bioshock had one of the greatest plots in anything I've ever experienced, and a big part of that was the fact the player was involved in it.

So if you like reading, awesome! I see the appeal, it's just too slow a medium for me most of the time. Exceptions are rampant, but it's a general rule. Reading has never struck me as the "only solution," especially when I can gt around it so easily. Let's put it this way- in a literature class where our only assignment was to read the selected books for four months and I stopped reading after three weeks, I got an A- overall. Then again, after reading Ben Franklin's "Autobiography," you'd want to stop reading for quite some time too.

Long story short, I'm an English major who doesn't like reading because video games interest me more. Have nothing against it, but it continues to surprise me how taken aback people are by this fact and I wanted to get some thoughts on paper.

Now if only this time could have gone to something useful, like ACTUALLY READING. (or working on Taily's story don't worry I didn't forget)

I'm all up in it.

"MainMadarin" is the Gamertag all the cool kids will be adding to their friends list. I guess the rest of you can too.

Well! Let's get that last journal of sadness off the page with something you all seemed to like so much for whatever reason: free insults! That's right, simply leave a comment here and I'll berate you with harsh words to a point within an inch of your life! Or your character's life, anyway.

(And for the record, I'm not doing compliments this time because they're much less fun, and I end up saying the same thing to everyone besides. You're all awesome and don't need me to tell you so. :D)

I've had a splitting headache on and off for the past few days and it's stopped productivity completely. I just want to sit on my bed and hug stuff.

You should all cuddle with me or something. I don't know.

I know what you're thinking: What the hell is a human? Well, my little furry friends, a "human" is a savage and fowl creature that believes itself to be of the master race. Falsely, of course, but it's so cute to see them try...

Inferiority aside, I need some recommendations since I'm not sure where to start. I'm sure I've mentioned before that I have two main characters aside from Duino, Alex and Royvas, who have gotten snubbed due to the nature of this community and the simple fact that Duino ideas are WAY funnier. Still, while Duino's design is only a few notches away from rock-solid, Royvas and Alex are very much conceptual.

I've done this before with a number of artists, and received very mixed results. So there's a fair bit of reference material already, but it would come with a boatload of notes and tweeks and changes, especially in Royvas' case. Price isn't much of an object, since I can let go of more cash should the artist be a real pro and such. A few requirements that I really need:

-Must be a "serious" artist (I've tried getting stuff from cartoonists, and perhaps it was the individual cases, but they left Royvas and Alex with cartoony proportions which isn't something they're supposed to have.)
-Must be able to draw weapons (guns, namely)
-Take my notes seriously and pay attention to them

If anyone you know comes to mind with this, speak up. And if anyone who follows me wants to give it a shot, speak up! I much prefer going with someone I know. Thanks in advance for the help, guys!

This.. yeah, I'm going to sound whiney, but I'm frustrated enough to care.

Anyone who's friends with me on Steam knows I love Team Fortress 2 (and if you're not friends with me yet, get on that fast). I've played well over 550 hours total and I normally log in some time every day for the sake of messing around. It's one of my favorite games, and I like to believe I'm fairly decent at it despite my lack of skill in shooting games as a whole. However, it also manages to piss me off like no other game has before, and for any number of reasons.

I'm extremely competitive by nature. I never really like to admit it, but it's true. I study hard in school not so I can get a more rounded education, but so I can score higher than my peers. I've stayed late at work every day for the past month not because it was the right thing to do but because I wanted to edge out my coworkers for the supervisor's praise. I lie to myself about it, but I just want the accolade that comes with being the best. It's shameful, to be sure, but I can't help it. It's just the way I am.

Video games are no exception. However, they're also where I fail the hardest. While I'm overall "decent," I'm very easily stumbled and make dumb mistakes constantly.

You ever see a guy back onto his own grenade in Halo? Me.
You ever see a guy get into the wrong side of cover in Gears of War? Me.
You ever see anyone pick Jigglypuff in Super Smash Bros? Me.

However, even despite all this, I'm still fairly good at these games. Quite often I score on the higher side of the board, Team Fortress 2 being no exception; I'm in the top three quite a bit, or at least close behind. Yet I find myself extremely irritated by it. TF2 is a game built on a balance, but not a conventional one: each class is made to counterbalance another in a grand rock-paper-scissors format. That's not to say you can't beat certain classes based on what you're playing, but the challenge is different. This poses a problem for me, because I like being able to tackle any challenge myself, but the option simply isn't there.

There are two things in TF2 I'm never able to counter as any of my preferred classes: A Heavy with a pocket Medic who knows his shit, and good Engineer networks. Maybe it's just me, but once either of those has been established on the other team, I'm ready to call it a day. The two counters to these would be a Spy to get around behind them and a Demoman, respectively, but I'm utter shit as both of those. I've practiced with both and they're just not conducive to my play style of "spray and pray, reload, do it again." So that's where the "Team" aspect comes in. But- again, maybe just me- this is where crap falls apart. Random teams may work well, but they don't work well together most of the time.

I still love TF2, honestly. It's one of my favorite games and at the end of the day I'm still good at it, or at least I like to think so. It just makes me bash my head against a wall when I can't beat a pair of people no matter what I try, especially when the rest of their team is awful and they're carrying really hard. But when I play with friends, it remains the best game in the world even in defeat, because the teamwork factor actually seems to exist. (Note: This is WITH friends. Playing against friends yields the same result.)

I'm going to go play a little more before work and hope I don't run into any more of what's listed here. Sorry about the vent, guys! I promise I'll try and be funny next time.

I recently bought Dead Island as a part of the Steam summer sale, having heard it was a decent enough game and also because of Criken's "Adventures of Sam B" (...OK, so it was entirely the latter, sue me). The game sells itself as a "zombie apocalypse RPG," which was a combination that made myself and a lot of other nerds extremely excited for no other reason than a high concentration of geek-tingling buzz words. I've played about ten hours total now, thanks to a completely empty Sunday, and I've come to one conclusion: as a game, Dead Island is fun, simple and unique enough to entertain, and overall enjoyable, even in a single player mode. But as an RPG, it falls flat on its face.

Dead Island is and RPG in the same way a bike is a motorcycle- there are a lot of similarities and they're lumped together quite often, but there's important distinctions to make. While the differences between Dead Island and an RPG aren't quite as stark, it's worth noting. Dead Island has all the typical RPG elements: leveling system, a skill tree, customizable weapons, quests and rewards. But the part that renders all of this useless is the difficulty curve.

As with any RPG, you start off at level one, and are thrown to some level one zombies to do battle with. The first few missions are story-based, so as you progress to the new areas quickly, the enemies level up with you and it all makes sense. But after a while you reach a questing hub: a base camp you need to return to every so often, meaning you're going to be in the area a lot. There's nothing wrong with this approach, and for the genre of zombies, it's the only thing that makes sense.

However, as you stick around the same area, you gain experience and level up as normal. But the enemies do to, at exactly the same rate. Essentially, when you're level five all you fight are level five zombies, when you're level six all you fight are level six zombies, and so on and so forth.

What a typical RPG world map does is designate certain monsters of certain levels to certain areas. So, for example, Area 1 only has levels 2-4 and Area 2 has levels 3-7. This means that if the player finds Area 2 to be too much of a challenge, they can retreat to Area 1 to rest, relax, and get some more experience or practice without too much risk. The concrete levels also make for the concept of leveling up much more critical: if you know a boss is level 10, then you can always train and get past level 10 if you really need to. Grinding experience is a failsafe measure in case a player simply cannot beat a boss by normal means, and in addition, leveling up and making your character stronger is a lot of fun and gives a nice sense of empowerment.

Dead Island strips all that away. Enemies are always on the same level as you, or at least within two. Therefore, if you're having trouble on that boss fight, grinding to get stronger only makes him stronger too. All the skills you obtain to do more damage become useless, since as you gain a level every enemy has more health anyway. What's fun in an RPG is powering up and practicing, then being able to go back and one-shot the baddies that gave you so much trouble before. With this, it's really just the same fight over and over, and gets harder because they throw more zombies at you. And since they never get any weaker, it's nearly impossible to fight more than two or three at a time, let alone six or seven.

I've come to find this mechanic is introduced in order to help the cohesion of online co-op, though since that's not something I'm interested in unless with friends, it doesn't do me much good. Overall I like Dead Island as a zombie survival-type game, but the RPG elements feel poorly executed. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion had this same sort of problem, but the ramping up of enemy difficulty was much more gradual and by the end, even necessary. It's a mechanic that can work, but not at such a sharp curve. You're liable to break something falling against it.

Hopefully you figured out the purpose of this journal from the title. Otherwise you're about as thick as a cement milkshake, aren't you? (Sorry, getting warmed up.)

Basically, I've been feeling a little stagnant with writing lately, and could use a little creative exercise to get myself going. So, here's how it works- simply comment if you'd like some real moral support and sincere confidence-building from compliments, or if you believe you could use some humbling from the sharpest tongue this side of The Mississippi (you know who you are).

And keep in mind, it's all in good fun- compliments are for you, insults are for your character. Savvy? Savvy. Comment away, you beautiful people/plebeian tossers!

That sums up the past week pretty well.

I've just been feeling down lately. It started in just fits and stirs but now I'm just going through the motions. My parents proved resolute in their decision with my PayPal account, meaning I'm unable to spend any of the money I worked really hard for on what I want to. My best friend has a temporary palsy of the face, and says for the next three weeks we really shouldn't talk because I make him laugh too much and it really hurts when he does (which is a nice compliment, but I really feel for the guy). Everyone else is just kind of busy with work and life and I'm just not feeling too great in general lately.

To those three of you waiting on my shitty art: I'm really, really sorry for the delay. I really want to get them done, since I had some decent ideas in terms of text overlay, but I just haven't felt up to it. I'm really sorry, and as soon as I'm feeling better I'll try and pump them out.

Pardon the rant, guys. I'm just feeling kind of glum.

Whoa, three journals and three days? It's like this account is active again.

About a year ago I thought it'd be hilarious to offer some free drawings to my watchers, since a lot of my friends are fantastic artists and I barely know how to hold a crayon. The previous journal and results are located here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2570471/

It was a lot of fun and proved funny, and with an upcoming day off, I thought it'd be a good time to do it again with the invitation extended to the same people as well as anyone new who might be watching. So, if you'd like a Duino-brand eyesore, comment with a ref! I'm not going to put limits, though I do ask you respect my limitations.

A few key points:
-THESE WILL BE BAD. They're free because I draw terribly. The point is for everyone involved to share a laugh and nothing more. Don't expect a lot. Or anything, really.
-If you've gotten one before, you're more than welcome to get another!
-No porn requests, please.
-Multiple characters are fine, within reason.
-I'll try to do them soon, but if this is anything like last time it might take a few days.
-You can repost the results if you like, though I'd appreciate a heads-up to tell me you are. (I like to leave snarky comments and don't want to miss a chance.)
-This is something I'm looking to do for current watchers, most of whom I know. I'd appreciate it if you guys didn't spread the word too much.

I'll keep the list open with spots for the next few days if anyone wishes. Now, I need to go find my colored pencils and we'll see where the endeavor takes us!

The good news: I got my first paycheck today, and despite not being as much as I thought thanks to Target's bi-weekly pay schedule being weird, it's already more than enough to fund all my dumb commission ideas with plenty left over for other exploits down the line.

The bad news: PayPal limited my account yesterday due to some bullshit thing about policy updates, and refuses to remove the limit until I provide them with personal information; namely, a photocopy of my license and proof of my Social Security Number. Upon calling the customer service, a man who seemed to be relieved he wasn't being yelled at told me it's a federal-level security thing and that the info is secure (and was even kind enough to send me an email with a tutorial on how to attach a document to an email), which gives me some solace, but it's still unnerving. Has this happened to anyone else? PayPal's a great service and I'm still looking into the federal mandate/update thing, so I'd like to believe it's all on the up and up so I can still use it, but it never hurts to ask.

 catonthecouch is as sharp as a bowling ball and has a wardrobe that looks like it was created from the debris of a joint pet store/JC Penny explosion.
 jasufox holds up a conversation about as well as a soggy cardboard box and could only get people to spend time with him by catching them in the gravitational pull of his gullet.
 omega_coyote couldn't catch a cold in a hospital and has the same level of appeal as the cactus he just ran into.

You're all terrible and I can't stand you. And if any of you try to eat me again, you're getting a frying pan to the face so hard you'll think your nose is bacon.