How to wash a pillow in 6 easy steps!

1) Remove pillow case.
2) Open window.
3) Launch pillow out of window.
4) Close window.
5) Pretend your pillow was stolen.
6) Go shopping.

As posted on my twitter:

If you have a .edu e-mail address, you can get Windows 7 for only $30! There's one week left to take part in Microsoft's Windows 7 reduced student pricing. If you want it I would not suggest procrastinating.

Click dis link for the offer: http://bit.ly/5wjiIa

What you need:
A .edu e-mail address. That's it.

Do I need to be an active student or enrolled in classes?
No. You just need to have any e-mail address ending in .edu

What if I'm alumnus?
Just need a .edu e-mail address. That's it. Just a .edu. :)

What if I want Windows 7 Pro?
It's there. When you go to purchase it, you'll see a line that says "Need to connect to a domain?". Click that. That'll give you the choice to get Windows 7 Professional. Also just $30.

What if I'm a Mac User?
Uh... if you have a .edu e-mail address and want it for Bootcamp? $30.

OSX Snow Leopard is the superior OS! And you can buy it for just...
This is about Windows 7. Shut up.

But Steve Jobs...
Wears turtlenecks and shits $100 bills.

But...
If Apple made excuses they'd charge you $99.99 for your first utterance of said excuse, and a licensing fee for $2.99 for each additional time you use it. It would be the best excuse ever, and everybody else would want that excuse. In order to get it, you'd need to stance in line for eight hours on launch day to ensure that you'd be one of the first people on your block to have the accuse. In addition, there would be a yearly update to the excuse which improved upon the excuse barely at a cost of $29.99.

If your excuse ever failed you'd have to buy a brand new one.

LINUX IS THE ONLY TRUE GOD!
0S/2 forever, bitch!

December 30th is National Bicarbonate of Soda Day (a bizarrely specific "holiday" if there ever was one). So, take some time out today and read up on bicarbonate of soda (link). Because... uh... why not?

Glory to the Bicarbonate . Glory... to the Many.

(I just find this to be ridiculous. A "National" day to pay homage to baking soda? Mostly powdery, sometimes fizzy, rarely given a shit about. Until today, I guess. Whatever!).

Good news, everyone! I have good news!

</farnsworth>

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009.....n6030609.shtml

According to CBS News, apparently one of the higher ups at the TSA pulled his head out of his own ass like an eager gopher, and realized the giant fubar fiasco they had created. They heard the collective "WHAT THE FUCK?!" of travelers worldwide loud and clear. As of today, the TSA announced they're easing back in restrictions like denying people the right to use the bathroom, use iPods and laptops and IEDS, and will be setting things "back to normal".

Well, mostly.

The restrictions are now up to the captain of the plane to enforce, which is good. This means that only in situations where there are possible problems will there be sticky up rules and people wetting themselves back in aisle 13B.

YAY!

So, I figured since I bitchangsted in my previous journal, it's only right I follow up.

The TSA Douchebaggery Alert has been downgraded from Code Red to Code Tartan Plaid.

I totally do not want to be awake right now... but I am.

I was dreaming Robin Williams in I were in a 7/11 trying to use psychic powers to will products to "respawn" on the shelves. It wasn't working, so we were trying to double our efforts to focus wills and... yeah, then I woke up. Apparently, my brain went "Nope, too stupid. THIS DREAM IS TOO FUCKING STUPID! Abort. Fuck it. I'm done." and now... here I am. Smeg.

I hate dream logic.

This... I...

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Ap.....die-225978.jsp

 dior pointed this out to me. It's... so painful to look at.

If you wear this to a convention to deserve whatever happens to you. =P

EDIT: Fur Affinity doesn't hate sparklers. Just Dragoneer. And Dior. A most everybody else.

EDIT 2: Dior, your icon doesn't deserve to be that happy given the horror that is that hoody.

http://consumerist.com/2009/12/next.....puterless.html

The Consumerist wrote:Electronic devices cannot be brought into the cabin of the plane on international flights to the United States.

Patdowns: Required, for now.

Items on laps: No blankets, bags, suitcases, purses, etc on your lap during the last hour of flight. Your hands must be visible at all times.

No potty breaks: Passengers cannot get out of their seats for the last hour of a flight.So, because one psycho fucktard (excuse my language) tries to blow up a plane (over Detroit of all places) the entire rest of us have to suffer? REEEALLY? What the hell did the airline industry do before terrorists were invented in 9/11?

Terrorism sucks, but at last count this shit has been on going for decades, and now it's this uber draconian shit? I know most of this stuff is to make people feel "safe" but to be hold "Nope, you can't listen to your iThing on the flight for reasons of national security" is just stupid.

If a terrorist really wants to cause mayhem he will. He may not even need a plane to do it - just the crowded lobby of an airport during holiday rush where there is /no/ security.

There's a point where you make people safe and secure... and point where you just fuck everybody over. Every single person flying into or out of American just got finger fucked because of one man. Without lube. No glove.

Is it a wonder I absolutely HATE flying nowadays? This is BS to the nth degree.

As mentioned previously, we are doing several things to expand and improve Fur Affinity all around. Hence my previous post about "hey, we need some hardware!" to buff servers. Because you all donated, it's only right I share back a bit. :)

One of those things coming in 2010 is gallery folders, which Yak is currently hard at working on testing and improving.

FA Folder Preview
http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/fa_folders.jpg
(No release date ETA - it'll be ready when it's ready)

One of my tasks is working on some minor "tweaks" to our interface, coming up with a unified flow for the entire site. I should have a preview for that in a week or two. This is NOT going to be drastic UI overhaul (that is in the works, however!) but to standardize FA's layout and spruce it up a bit.

Nothing drastic.

We are aiming for "simple, clean, efficient".

So yeah. Good things coming to FA in 2010. Hopefully, we'll have more to share soon.

NOTE: Commission tab is being fixed, fret not.

Thanks to everybody who contributed! Due to the awesomeness of the users below we've now got our 6 HDs! That's quite a generous donation from all of you, especially during the Christmas season, and appreciate it to no end! =D


http://www.furaffinity.net/user/tlailaxu/


http://www.furaffinity.net/user/scorch/


http://www.furaffinity.net/user/yiffyhusky


http://www.furaffinity.net/user/wetcoyote/


http://www.furaffinity.net/user/fuzzypaws/

Now we just have to raise the money for the 6 Sun drive sleds ($60 per sled, eesh!) and 24GB of RAM (which we're building up for on our side!). But we're handling the costs for that on our side. :)

What will 2010 hold in store for FA? Quite a bit actually. We'll be adding things like improved gallery management (folders!), better customization, prints-on-demand, general spiffiness as well as an all new site design that doesn't look like butt 10 years old.

To do that we're upgrading our Novastorm to be our primary database server. It's got almost 8X the CPU power of our current DB server, and we're upgrading the RAM from 8 to 32GB (which we're buying on our end!). What are we asking for from the community? Harddrives! We need faster and larger enterprise-grade harddrives for our system. We're actually 50% of the way there, and need your help getting the rest of way. :)

What we need: 10K RPM 146GB Seagate Savvios
http://amzn.com/w/3TFE9XHGKQ95H
^^^^
Click on the link above, order a drive and help us out! And if you donate a drive, send me a note to let me know. :)

Rather than ask for money (which we don't need for once!) we're asking to donate hardware directly. FA's current bills are paid up through March, matter of fact! This is probably a first for us.

Hardware donators will go up on our FA Supporters Page (coming in Jan!) that will let the community get a tally for those who help keep the site alive and free.

[img]http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/server/4.jpg[/img]
The hard drives will be used in our Novastorm server, which has 6X 2.5" drive slots free. This is one hell of a server, and we're ramping it up for full production use as a main server.

I've been having some weird computer issues for the past two years. Been running an Nvidia 780i motherboard, and it's been... well, notoriously bad. Workable, but bad. The 780i is a piece of shit motherboard whose most well known feature is self corrupting RAID. I didn't know this when I bought it.

This morning... I awoke to full motherboard failure, killing my PC. :( It was having a !@#$load of problems yesterday, so I figured I would re-install Windows 7 to see if I could fix it. Apparently, all the problems were attributed to the damn Northbridge dying out.

This is not the Christmas gift I was expecting.

Maybe it's for the better, I guess? I've been cursed ever since I got this PC compiled together two years ago.

Just don't have the fundages to fix it for the near future, so I am downgraded back to laptop.

 Mavuriku has created a song for the site. "Merry Christmas on FA". It's appropriately corny in all the right places, and... well, yeah. :)

Song: Merry Christmas F.A. by Mavuriku
Link: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3177227


You got pimped. Go check out the song. It's pretty good. :)

Once again, I find myself at 549 unread notes.

<___<

The sheer amount message volume I get nowdays is completely freaking staggering. So, I will have EVERY note read and handled by the end of this weekend. I may not be able to respond to every issue, but if you noted me, it will be addressed and looked into.

EDIT: Typos fixed. It's 4:30am, I've not slept, I'm dead tired.

http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/fau_shirt.png
^^^^^

Lots of people have asked, and here it is (mostly!). Spunky dropped off some freakin' incredible art our way, and we put together our concept for the FAU3 shirt (final design subject to change). Fans of the Fallout series will appreciate it, as should any gamer. Or anybody, for that matter.

The FA: United t-shirt comes with awesome art, +10 Rad Resistance and +1 to Charisma skill checks. It's a shirt you can wear anywhere, everywhere.

* You shoot Brahmin for 259 points of damage. Brahmin explodes like a blood sausage.

By the by, you... are... watching , right?

I think FA's icons suck.



ROBOT BOOBS!

. . .

We really need to fix this sometime in the near future. Like, really need to fix that. Amongst some other things.

So let's do that in 2010.

EDIT: Now with more drama llama than the leading admin journal!

During the course of January '10 we'll be offering amnesty, a full on tabula rasa, to select individuals who have been banned from the site. We'll be doing this on a case-by-case basis, and will re-review anybody who was banned from the site and the circumstances leading up to said ban. Those we feel will not cause drama and can contribute back to the site will be re-considered for return.

Naturally, we won't be able to let everybody back in (some violations are far worse than others) but we'll take a good long look into the issues on an individual basis. We'll announce the specifics on the forums sometime during the first week of January, and the conditions required to take part of this.

We believe people deserves a second chance to prove themselves (except my nephew). People change, we all make mistakes, and we recognize that.

So if you know somebody who feels they were unjustly banned or just wants a second chance... tell them to keep their eyes peeled on the forums once we start settling into the new year. :)

- Neerbutt

EDIT: There are not really a huge amount of people banned from this site. We're going to handle things privately, and only permit those back in who we feel will not be creating a whirlwind of drama.

For whatever religion, species, clan. continent or planet you come from...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! ^_____^

So!

True story: a while ago I was talking on Twitter, and was making a list of "Things I want to do before I die and/or things I want to do that will probably kill me in the process." Sadly, a short list. One of the items scribbled down from train of thought derailment was that I wanted to start a website about caffeine. More importantly: energy drinks, bizarre caffeinated foods and strange, strange candies (if you're familiar with ThinkGeek then you already know what I'm talking about).

Anybody who knows me knows I love/crave/worship/admire caffeine, so naturally, this was perfect job for me.

ThinkGeek saw this, said "We can make that happen." and I went "Oh really?" and they responded "Yeah, really!". And for free.

Today a package arrived from ThinkGeek.

Merry !@#$ing Christmas!

Within that package... is one of every single caffeine related item Think Geek sells. Every one. We're talking Java Pops, Mana Potions, Health Potions, eBoost, Tac Bac (it's just as worthy), Coffex, Penguin Mints, Blitz Gum, Think Gum, Diablo Energy, Monkey Mints... EVERYTHING! It's all in this one, huge, amazing, joyous, fantastic smelling box.

If it's caffeine related... I now have it, and it's that box. And that box is in my room. Sitting on my bed. And this is the greatest thing ever. I want to hump it.

Now, I prepare myself for a journalistic endeavor, a caffeinated quest to try, sample, experiment my way through the fizzy, crunchy, explosive and heart stopping world of caffeine.

One item a day. One small, quirky, experimental write-up a day. And then, when I'm done, I can cobble and compile 'em all up into a great big blog and share my fate with the world.

---

EDIT: Looking into it further, they even sent Wild Hibiscus Flowers in Syrup (whaaat?!, Cupcake Mints (holy hell, yes!), Bacon Beans (bacon flavored jelly beans!) and... fuck, GIANT BAGS FULL OF COFFEE INJECTED LOLLIPOPS... my god. This box has no end.

---

EDIT 2: I'm going to be opening a new website for this, posting up the reviews, then I shall seek more, more, more quirky, awesome items to fill it with.

---

EDIT 3: For the "Pics or it didn't happen" group... I give you pics!
http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/thinkgeek1.jpg
http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/thinkgeek2.jpg

Last FAU journal for a while, I promise. :)

We've had a long standing list of ideas on the FAU team regarding things to do to improve FA: United. Things like getting the !@#$ out of Newark (we're outside Philadelphia now!). To get more, better live bands and stage shows (like Matthew Ebel, 2 the Ranting Gryphon). To do everything in our power to make a better, more awesome con (like an FA: United attendee only bar!).

Amongst those ideas was a long standing in-joke. "FA: United - Free bacon with registration". Because who doesn't like bacon? Bacon makes everything better. That was the joke, anyway, a running gag that lasted for a few years. "Here's your con badge, your bag, and... your bacon." Maybe it was funnier because we're all pudgy bastards and New Jersey has some of the best food in the country. Maybe. Either way, we jokingly told the Marriott about it and you know what? Our hotel liaison loved it so much she agreed to do it.

So we are.

As of today, pre-register for FA: United... and receive free bacon with registration. In fact, for the first three hours of registration opening, anybody who registers... shall receive bacon. For vegetarians out there we shall have facon or bacon-flavored items (made with Bacon Salt - vegetarian friendly and kosher!).

Show me another convention out there that can promise you free bacon with registration. You can't. Because we're the first, and probably the only convention stupid, odd or crazy enough to go "HEY! FREE BACON!". Cooked fresh, served hot.

Yes, we know it's a stupid (yet delicious) idea, and it really doesn't make any sense. But why not? I'm sure you also ask "But... why?". And to that I respond that if we can put on a convention in Newark, NJ and survive... we can offer free bacon.
[img]http://preyfar.furaffinity.net/bacon.gif[/img]
NOTE! - The website was updated with hotel registration info. :) Go snag your rooms! Dealer's info will be posted this weekend!

www.faunited.org

We've opened up pre-registration for FA: United 3! Pre-reg starts at $25.

GAME ON!

So.

My nephew was caught, turned into the police. We're waiting to hear what happens.

He got down to Kentucky, realized he was low on money and started his way back to Pennsylvania. He went up to my parents' house (where I crash when I'm PA... *AND* where all my stuff is) to pay the family a "visit". And by visit I don't mean offer up yuletide greetings.

It turns out the darling angel little fuck was selling hugs drugs at his school and to his friends. He was cutting marijuana, X and a few other fun concoctions (as well as some over-the-counter medications) to "improve" the drugs. That's... probably the most dangerous shit in the world you can do.

"Rape" is apparently only one of his many bullet points on his resume rap sheet.

The more that comes out about this story... fuck, it just boggles my mind. BOGGLES! I can't believe that shit tried to break into our home. He was apparently caught mid act of robbing us blind.

I'm just thankful that I had to be at work and wasn't in PA at the time, because if he came there, I'd have beat the freakin' bastard senseless.

I'm just at a loss for words over all this. :|

So...

About half an hour ago (if even that) I found out that my nephew is currently running from the law on a multi-state chase. Apparently, about a week ago, he drugged a girl, raped her, and she's been in the hospital and traumatized to hell. He tried to steal a car, wrecked it by driving into a house... didn't get very far.

Sometime last night, he stole my sister's /brand new car/ not three months old, totaled it, drove it back home, tried to blame it on my sister as a DUI incident, stole ANOTHER CAR, my sister's purse, credit cards, gas cards, everything he could get his hands on...

And is currently fleeing across the country to God knows where.

We think, apparently, that he's going to a distant relative's house in Kentucky.

. . .

WHAT THE FUCK SHIT... fuck... f... ffffffffffffffffff...

. . .

I don't even know what the hell to say to that.

4 SALE: Lv 15 Nephew, Rogue - Spawn of Satan, Slightly Used Condition, 40G. PST if interested.

So, many of you have probably followed our updates on Twitter and LiveJournal during out outage.

Here's the TL;DR version: we don't entirely know what happened. Our former ISP, Ironpath, kept us in the dark and didn't quite communicate with us during the outage. We knew there was a fiber issue, but more than that we had no clue. Our host kept ignoring us, we couldn't get in contact, and we were able to pull our servers and get to better pastures.

Our old colo host doesn't seem to exist anymore. Checking out http://www.ironpath.com/ yields some fun results. Perhaps all of this happened for a reason. I don't know. I just know we needed to get the hell out of there, and we did.

Some kinks still need to be worked out of the system (sup, packetloss) but we're working on it. If fixing a bit of packetloss is the least of our worries then I'm sure we'll be able to cope. :)

For me, the past week has been like a tsunami of dicks crashing down on a candlelight vigil in Hell.

That was a long ass week.

I'll post the "full story" of the outage tomorrow, along with the full fun story of everything that happened.

http://www.xmarks.com/

Taking a moment to pimp my favorite browser plug in: Xmarks (formerly Foxmarks).

Xmarks allows you to synchronize your bookmarks and back them up online. This is exceptionally helpful if you switch between desktop and laptop, re-image your computer or just simply need to keep all your links in a nice, neat, orderly fashion. All you need is to make an Xmarks account, and the application will automatically synchronize your Firefox, Internet Explorer or Safari bookmarks between computers, locations, etc.

It's uber-spiffy.

 damaratus turned me on to it, and I've not been able to live without it since.