yeah

i'll explain tos in private to whoever is interested, while they're still being written into a proper doc as we speak

yep, real talk hours again



UPLOADS

I'll try to return to the old style of uploading at random, and less in-bulk, more like... As soon art the art is done and I feel like dealing with tagging all that shite. So yeah...



COMMISSIONS

Closed, and I've remade how I'll take them from now on. Expect me to reopen with proper ToS actually in place, and with prices... right about as they are now. And I'll probably have only ONE slot for commissions that'll open as soon as I'm done with the previous one. Just not to overload myself, allow myself to focus on it fully and stay sane while at it.



LIFE STUFF

Money's still shite, not much has changed in that department aside from being roughly halfway towards the goal of a new, better drawing tablet. So on that end it's fairly... Better, I guess? Still, I'd appreciate any donations (for example via ko-fi that's linked on my main page or at the very bottom of this journal) to speed that process up. What will you get out of it? Well... With a big enough donation you can guilt trip-- errr... obligate me to repay the favour at some stage in the future. And with any kind of donation - with a better tablet there's a rather high likelihood that I'll draw more or draw faster, thus... You get more content from me, ya?

On the mental end of things... Things aren't any better. In fact, they're a bit worse, since I've been feeling really deprived of confidence after an event, but... On the good side, I'm sort of regaining it now. Still a bit slow, but I'm trying, alright? Low self-esteem isn't helping, obviously, but hey, ey. People around me keep telling me that I'm awesome and all that, so... There's some solace in that, I guess?

Other than that... I've been playing quite a bit of MSFS lately (and totally didn't download like at least 200 gigs of addons for it, no) and thus... Telegram channel contests and art raffles return! If you want free art (or just see my art before I upload them here lol), follow these channels today! Links to both SFW and NSFW ones are at the bottom of this journal, as usual.



[b]THE QUESTION[/]

So, if you're here... Fear not to answer the question I'll ask very shortly. There's no wrong answer to it, I'm just curious what y'all think about it. I won't judge you, and I'll make sure no one else will judge you for your opinion on the matter here. So, my shy viewers... Have no fear! And if you still hesitate - feel free to shoot me a note or a DM anywhere. So, what's the question?

What are your thoughts on donation drives? (For example, inflation drives)
Would you support it if I did one? Why/why not?


So yeah that's all, until I upload... uhh, go outside or smth, idk, take care of yourselves, cheers.

let's get to things then



YCHes and commissions, and that darn Patreon

as usual, delayed, but dw, I'm... working on. Slowly, but I am. As to why it goes slowly...



What's up?

I wanna preface this entire section with this lengthy intro bit. Anything that you're about to read... I don't want pity, I don't want to do it in order to get anything. In fact, I'll actually be upset if I wake up tomorrow and I'm going to be materially better off because of this. So please, just... Don't give me any special treatment cuz of this. Just kinda hoping to give you an insight into things on this end of the world, maybe just for a tad of non-material support, not more than that. Now, with that said and done...

As you might've noticed... My art output is very random. Sometimes it's a lot of full arts, sometimes... It's very few, shoddy sketches. And well, why's that? Laziness? Well, yeah... But that's not the only thing that's clawing at me quite frequently. It's quite hard to even talk about it for me, for the most part, due to past experiences and what usually happened when I talked about those things too much (shout outs to those who remember those days!), but yeah... I guess I'll try, because I just feel like I'm harming myself more by not mentioning it.

So yeah, "big news", I have autism. Yes, not the self-diagnosed kind. And yes, it's rather mild, so mild that some people apparently don't even notice it. I also have depression, of the clinically diagnosed kind, and that's way more relevant to what I'm about to say than the former thing, but do keep autism in mind. Might come in handy to know that, at the very least. Either way... I do take medication for it, although getting a proper therapy in this fucknowhere town is... Challenging, to say the least. Sure, there are therapists, but vast majority of them is genuinely ill-trained and barely knows the difference between sadness and depression, so... No luck in that department.

Now, why is all of that relevant? Well...

Art is a process, it takes time, it takes effort and a lot of persistence to complete. So it requires some strength to keep going, which... As evidenced, I should have it, seeing as I'm drawing for good few years now. But at the same time, I lack the strength to keep going sometimes, as odd as it sounds. In the long term, I'm just unable to give up, but the short term isn't as great. All it takes is one thing that bothers me too much and I'm not feeling like drawing anymore, be it something of the mental kind or the physical kind. I just have to be "in the mood for it", otherwise... Results are subpar. And so, as you might've guessed by now, things aren't good lately, both on the physical and mental end.

Physically, my family never was a rich one, but lately so than ever, from what I know (cuz I am not allowed to know the full picture of things most of the time, for some reason...), we [me, my mom, my wayyy younger sister and a dog] barely get by every month. Sometimes there's some extra money, sometimes... We borrow from other family members and it's still barely enough to get by. I'm not gonna go into details as to why that is, it's a journal about my problems, not an autobiography. Just know that it's complicated and I'm not eager to elaborate on it further to complete strangers on the internet. I don't have a job, obviously, despite being an adult and probably able to get one, for a lot of reasons. One of which being the high unemployment in this area of Poland, the pandemic making things even more dire for smaller businesses didn't help the matters. Even if I found a job (miraculously, through mom being connected somehow), I don't want to get it because somebody else set it up for me, I want to get it on merit, because I fucking deserved it. And even if I did have the qualifications for something and I'd be able to get the job... I don't feel like I could keep it for long, since all it takes is one major upset and I'm straight up not working well, if at all.

Which leads to the part of mental drawbacks, namely... Low self-confidence and depression-induced anxiety. The former making it hard to even begin drawing sometimes (combined with perfectionism... An awful mix.), the latter just making me afraid to draw some things, sometimes for the least logical of reasons. And, as drawing stuff for people on the internet is the only thing I can feasibly do without tripping over myself too much and severely shortening my lifespan with unnecessary stress... I rely on a business that may or may not yield income every month. The only way to make it work is to be fast, reliable and marketable.

And now, here's the part where I rip into myself, in my eyes - fairly, in the eyes of others... Well, who am I to say to you what to think of me?

Speed - as evidenced... Not good on that. Perfectionism and depression makes it hard. Former makes me obsess over making things perfect. Doesn't sound that bad? Well... It's low-key like an OCD of sorts. Everything must be perfect, thus... I spend more time perfecting things that won't even matter in the final product, things that nobody will even notice or give a damn about, thus kinda wasting time. And the latter... What can I say? Depression just kinda makes you prioritize things in a very weird and irrational way, all because it doesn't just nibble at your life, but it chomps and doesn't let go so easily. Instead of drawing, lately I've been just playing Rimworld and BF4 on repeat (even worse - on metro-only servers, just cuz I crave something to do that will give a consistent non-negative result), not only because "I'm not in the mood for it". With depression... Sometimes, even if the logical option to escape it would be to just keep your head down and draw to get more money, you just crave some form of escapism from reality, because it's just too draining. [Opinion part] Oddly similar to how your local homeless drunkards, instead of sorting their life out and fixing things just opted for even more alcohol, and they keep doing it anyway. Sometimes... Reality is just too overwhelming and we don't function rationally. [Opinion over]

Reliability - lack of self-confidence really impedes doing anything consistently, paired with depression and anxiety... As I said multiple times before, one thing doesn't work - everything else falls apart in this shoddy jenga. Aside from that... Thanks to not having a decent chair (and any new chair being usually unreliable, because they design them for shorter, lighter people that don't have back problems...), physically I'm not able to draw for too long before starting to get distracted by discomfort, since the chair doesn't have enough support for my back and neck when I'm using the tablet. And no, it's not that kind you can hold in your hands and just draw on your bed. It's the kind that doesn't have its own screen, the kind that's heavy and the kind that's wired to a computer. And then... I get overwhelmed having just 2 commissions on the queue, where I feel like I'm taking waaaaaay to long to complete a single piece. And there's at least one person who's got the patience of a fucking saint that's been waiting for quite a while now, shout outs to you, my man. So yeah... Not good...

Marketability - safe to say I'm not even trying to be marketable, which in itself can be, ironically, marketable in a twisted way. But... I'm very much unlike most other artists out there, as you might've noticed. Which, again can be good. Except... It isn't. I attract a different kind of crowd with my attitudes, and that'd be a good thing, if it wasn't for the fact that it's not a crowd that's big in numbers. It's not "the lowest common denominator", and thus... I'm willingly opting out of getting extra money. And yes, I know that I might get shit for saying what I just did, but let's face it, that's just a cold-hearted, calculated, purely business perspective on people. Just as a side note, I am very cynical towards that perspective, even if I bring it up as a point here. Either way... This attitude that I have does tend to make enemies, which is perfectly fine and normal. Can't befriend everyone on this planet, even if you'd try your hardest. If not for the fact that I've probably made a metric fuckton of enemies over the past few years, and on the off-chance that one of them is reading this journal - hi, hope you're having fun. So I'm fully aware that I'm probably not seen in the best spotlight already as a result of that, and that the word probably spreads from person to person sometimes. TL;DR: not very marketable, possibly coming across as an asshole, probably got the reputation of an asshole in some circles.

And so... Here I am, trying to get some cash for my own things to spend them on, possibly will have to use some of it just to survive, and on top of that... I'm not really good at trying, thanks to many factors. Life ain't lookin' good, I'm having severe self-doubts and thus... Trying to draw anything just ends up being either painful, I end up not finishing a barely touched on thing, or I just give up before I even begin. And then I don't even know what to do about it, where to go from here, what to do with myself, yet still sticking hard to some principles. For example, you might say... "Why not increase the prices then, if you're so slow? After all, low quantity, - high quality!" - I'd genuinely feel bad to do that. I've been raising the commission prices little by little, but I'm not eager to push it into the triple digits anytime soon. Firstly... I don't believe my art would be worth that much, I'd feel bad for ripping people off, basically. Hell, even current prices, I'm feeling like they're a bit overpriced. The quality is just not there, and speed... I told you about it already. And secondly... I wanna stick to a bit of a principle. I don't like locking my art away from people for god knows how long, I don't like ramping prices up to some insane highs. I believe that art is the thing that can make someone's day better, and thus... I don't feel like locking it away in some dark corner of the internet or demanding a fortune and a half for it is fair. Besides... Art prices are based mostly on one's popularity these days. So yeah... 'fraid that ain't gonna work, chief...

idk what else to say or how to end the journal so uhhh
art uploads will continue as usual unless i just don't manage to draw a single line in the coming month, uhhhh, bye

let's get straight into it



WHERE ART????

delayed and in lower quantity, as usual lately. Yeah... I'm slow, very slow lately. Idk why I have so little drive to draw, but... I do. I guess.



What's coming up?

Following up what I've said in last update, I do have some very, very intriguing plans for YCHes, once I clean up my comm queue a tiny bit and do one more thing prior to that... I'll post it all here, for all to see! And that one prior thing... Let's just say there's going to be another journal this month, and that project does involve a base and a few adopts to kick things off... Feel free to suggest good prices for YCHes and adopts in the comments, I won't bite!



Behind the scenes

Life situation is stable, but not quite comfortable, to summarize it in one sentence. I'm not starving or anything (in fact, I'm the very opposite of that...), but... Anything extra is something that I cannot afford, unfortunately. And this is where I want commissions, YCHes and stuff to come in and fill the gap. Once I get the drive to draw more often I'll also put Patreon up, but just as a side note, I don't like keeping content hostage behind a paywall for long, so don't expect some insane exclusivity out of it.



That'd be it for this update, I guess. Shorter than what I'd like, but ey, can't write like 50 page essay every month, aye!

quick question, would any of y'all be interested in smol art contests for some kind of rewards? No need to be a godlike artist to participate, just be able to get down to business and make a few lines on the canvas. If you'd be interested, lemme know in the comment(s), I'll see what the response's like and maybe host one, ayeh!

I'll draw a very personalized cookie for the first person who correctly guesses the title of a game I'm basing this title off of :)


So yeah... July's been... Quiet. Very quiet, very chill, very... Calm. Maybe it's calm before the storm? Who knows. Financially... I still have no idea how it'll be for me, but if anything big happens on that front and I need to get a lot of money very fast - I'll probably make a journal about it. But for now... Lemme address some things that I feel should be addressed...



PATREON WHEN???

idk, sorry. It's kinda stuck in a limbo, I don't want to open it up unless I draw enough to justify opening it, and lately that's not been too great (as my uploads will likely showcase, soon enough). Until that's done, if you really want to give me some money, give it to me on Ko-Fi instead. I've also replaced Patreon link on the main page for the time being with Ko-Fi. Just yeah, note that I won't be posting much on Ko-Fi, cuz yeah... well... They aren't exactly allowing NSFW arts on there, and lately that's most of my arts...




COMMISSIONS

Still open! Feel free to get some if you really want! Just note that my speed is still... Not that great, for a lot of different reasons.



MERCENARY???

Yeah... Lemme explain. What's a mercenary? "One that serves merely for wages", "serving merely for pay or sordid advantage". Now... Why do I mention this? Well... Since I do have a bit of a need for money to have a "just in case" stash of cash, I'm probably going to shift my approach for a period of time to one that's a bit more business-oriented, albeit... Without any sordid bits to it, for I strongly dislike sacrificing art in favor of gaining more wealth. So any new "business ventures" will still strictly adhere to that rule and you'll have a guarantee that I'm doing this because I feel like doing it that way and I'm not trying to get as many people to buy the product as possible, which will likely reflect on quantity of it. What products will I bring to the table then? YCHes, adopts, mostly... I'm not gonna descend into that one other thing that I could do as an inflation artist (and have done at least once before) unless I'm absolutely desperate and really, REALLY on the edge of survival, because I just feel it'd be unethical to do it in pursuit of wealth.


Either way, if you've read it this far, please comment down below a random word from your native language, for the fuck of it! Or, alternatively... Give me some suggestions on what to do for YCHes, what kind of adopts would interest you, or any other feedback you might want to leave for me! Including things I could talk about in those updates. Anything you'd wanna hear about? Any thoughts about those updates? I'll gladly keep them going after the end of this year, if there's interest in them!


Either way... Can't wait to read your komentarze down below! Cya 'till I decide to wake up from my slumber and talk again!

Skipped a month, yeah, I know, but eh. Had to. You'll know why if you read deeper into the journal. But, most important things first...




COMMISSIONS

What about them? Well... I'm doing a bit of a "soft reopening" of them. Don't expect them to be done quickly (the usual deal lmao), but I'm gonna do my best to get it done ASAP. Why suddenly opening them up? Well... I have a feeling that I'm just cursed with the PSUs that I always get. They end up breaking sooner or later, every single time. I literally have a pile of broken power supplies on my shelf. And well... My PC is starting to act up as of few recent days, and it has all the symptoms of PSU dying. So yeah, I'm stockpiling cash in case if problem persists (or it dies). Might also use some of that cash to get a keyboard that wasn't soaked in soup by accident. Yeah... Long story that. Anyway... Comms open, come check out the price sheet, treat yourself (or your friend(s)!) to something nice!




PATREON

That's something I've been trying to make work for quite some time now, except... Never really succeeded. Because I never even got around to properly setting it up and using it. But now I'm a bit more determined and have a reason to. There's nothing there yet, please don't give me money there yet if you find the link. Please. Once it's all set and done I'll make y'all know about it, don't worry! I have some big plans for the opening of it, too, so it's worth a wait! And to preempt any possible questions about that, no, I'll not hold content hostage to Patreon. Aside from WIPs, I want every other piece of content I make to end up available to everyone else, sooner or later. So that's that.




EVERYTHING ELSE

Well... A very long and very private story, but I'll say what I can say without exposing too many personal details, and keeping it short. Basically... Plan was to move out. That plan was conceived, the same week it was conceived - it was basically not an option anymore and brought over problems associated with that. But good news - situation is likely to resolve positively, without having to move out, in the end. Bad-ish news - I'd probably want to earn about 100 Euro each month as a result of that, just to raise the standard of my living somewhat. But that's certainly doable, provided I'll actually draw. A bit hard to do with a feline fellow being a bit of an asshole, but not impossible, eyy!

Other than that, expect art to be posted later today, aye!

aight so let's just not mention anything that happened in april. bad month. not even a single mention of anything in particular. just sucked. bye.



I mean, not really bye. One thing to announce really after that downward spiral of a month. I'll just upload "whenever I feel like it" OR at the start of each month. So yeah... that's that, that's it, that's all.

For obvious reasons... I've not posted it on the 1st. Don't want it to be treated as a joke or anything, because that's just the magic of that particular day.

So yeah, as you've noticed, uploads are slowly coming in, they'll end on the 7th, most likely. So that out of the way, from most important to less important things, here we go!


Firstly, Telegram. I'm primarily using them for posting and all that stuff by now, like, properly primarily. And if you follow me there, you also get access to stuff that I don't post on here because it just doesn't make the cut (quality-wise). PLUS loredumps about my universe(s), from time to time. And polls. A lot of polls. So yeah, go ahead and go follow me on there now! Links down at the very bottom of the journal, managed to organize that finally! And I know a lot of you have Telegram, or at the very least Discord (that also gets everything else that doesn't make the quality cut), don't fear to poke your head around and follow the channels or hop into the server! And there's also Twitter... Where most of SFW arts also gets posted, way before I post them on FA. Y'all have a lot of different avenues of following me now, so hey, go ahead and do that! Would appreciate it greatly, as I don't want FA to be my only reliable platform!


Second thing... That mid-march upload. Y'all know what it is, some of you know how many times I've watched that movie, nobody knows why I watched it as many times as I did. NOBODY. NOT EVEN I. But yeah, statistically? It didn't do bad, yet it didn't do as good as I thought it'd, considering all the hype around it. BUT, I did manage to obtain some other data from it, and that's... Absolutely fucking useless! But I love statistics, even just for the fuck of it, so here I go: data taken March 17th, so it's obviously outdated by now, but I treat it as the highest point the art has reached. When searching phrase 'sisu', it was 69th (Nice) from the top, and when searching by 'sisu inflation' it was in 7th. In spite of not so stellar views and faves, I'd consider that a success! Purely because I love statistics and because it's peculiar that it ended up 69th when I checked it. Still, fun stuff!


And third... March itself. Started off great, with A LOT of arts coming out basically every day. Then mild health issues came along. Then they got solved, but instead I fell into a bit of an anxiety pit. So yeah, 2nd part wasn't fun, but I'm recovering from it. Hopefully I'll sober up from it before birthday, which is very soon, if anyone's paying any attention to what info I give out on my FA page. So yeah, that's that. Hopefully it'll not be a dry month in regards to art!

[I'll be discussing the matters from the title in reverse order, just because I feel like it!]



As much as I'll try to post right around the beginning of the months now... There's nothing significant that I've drawn over February to show, sorry! Literally like 1 art, everything else is a sketch, so... I'll hold off till April, then unleash those too. Till then, you can view all those sketches elsewhere, like on Telegram (SFW/NSFW), Discord server or...



Twitter

I've basically cleaned up a shitload of former Twitter posts and now I'm actually using Twitter, unlike before! Yet another avenue of getting to see my arts before I post them here, even if it's just of the SFW flavour! Cuz yeah, as you might've noticed... I'm not too keen on posting stuff here, for a lot of different reasons. Anyway, Twitter link... Right here! Every above place is now a place where you can get...



FREE ART

Yup. Straight up free art, when I feel like it on a Friday. Even if it's usually only a sketch. It's free art, I don't have to tell you why you'd want it! I'll alternate between Discord, TG channels and Twitter for that, so everyone can get a chance. Everyone except FA, because I unfortunately know how it'll end up... Take any place that's crowded enough and it's going to end up messy. And I'm pretty bad with getting stuff done when overwhelmed with tasks. That, and the fact that giving out art for free elsewhere will boost those platforms in particular! So yeah, there are now more and more reasons to come and follow me there! Last I checked, getting an account on any of 'em is also free and there's no paywall anywhere for my arts, so why not!



Other than that... There's also art streams that are very slowly getting restarted, but yeah. Not gonna announce them here until I am absolutely certain that everything's working perfectly, and that there's an audience that's interested in it. So yeah, that's all for this month's update. Stay safe and give other artists a bit of love too, they probably deserve it more than I do!

why an update so soon? well, will get straight to the point on this one. Due to certain circumstances... I am not eager to return to posting on FA too regularly. Circumstances that I cannot mention here, so... yeah. I will still post here, sure, just that it'll be the secondary posting place, that will likely get arts with a severe delay. So, I highly recommend to follow me on primary art delivery channels, that are just fine for my budget and size currently. What are they? well, obviously, Telegram channels, of SFW (https://t.me/DevvvSFW) and NSFW (https://t.me/DevvvArt) flavor, but now also a Discord server! Check it out, if you didn't have TG or didn't want to follow either of my channels! https://discord.gg/RsXdjqFQDM

And second thing, if anyone ever feels like reposting my art on e6 - go for it, aye! Will likely help me out a lot, too!


that's all, cya

So, first things first...
"Yo Dev your gallery's kinda fucking gone what's up with that?"

Well... Firstly, it's not gone, it's simply moved to scraps. And second... While sorting folders out, I accidentally moved an entire page to scraps, which had things already in scraps in it, and I couldn't be bothered to hand-pick everything else out of scraps, so... I scrapped everything before 2021 and gave it its own folder! So yeah, it is a bit of a fresh start, but... Not quite. It's something, alright?



Which brings me to thing #2: What's up with the folders you mentioned?

Basically... I decided to finally unfuck the mess that's my gallery's folder system and make it actually good! Which involves absolutely destroying whatever was there and putting in brand new things. So yeah... These folders? They're not gonna include most of the old things, just 'cuz I can't be bothered to sift through that garbage pile and assign it all properly, and afaik there's no way somebody else can do it for me, so... That's that. But ey, new submissions from now on will be nicely sorted!



#3: WHEN R DA ARTZ COMIN???????

Soon™, I'm still not decided how I should post arts - spread them out wide, over few days, or if to dump them all in one day. Leave your feedback in the comments if you feel strongly about either of the options. Either way, if I won't forget/will decide on something/both of the previous choices, it might even be tomorrow (or later today if you're already on the 26th). So yeah, not a long wait, probably!



#4: All the other, quick things to mention

>Kayren's ref was updated, some color adjustments, reasons will become clear as soon as I upload or when you check...
>The Archive on Trello is kept up to date with refs, almost as soon as I make them, so feel free to check that out if you're interested in obtaining these sweet PNGs!
>Commissions are still closed and will be for quite some time, because I have plenty of backlog to go through before I can reopen
>Both SFW and NSFW Telegram channels are still my primary place to distribute art as soon as I make it, and then some extra (kinda exclusive*) things as well! And both of them now have a chat attached to them, if you wanna hop in and comment my arts, discuss them, give critique or to just chat with others! Just please note that if either of the chats goes absolutely nuclear and things are getting out of hand, I might add a slow mode on them or even suspend them until stuff's cleared and moderators are actually around to keep an eye on it.
>If everything goes according to plan, among thus upload batch might be a rather sizeable project that I'm pretty sure most of you will enjoy, so stick around for that!
>I'm not gonna beg for shares or anything, but if you really, really like my arts - that's the best way you can support me, share them around! No need to throw your life's savings out for me, all it takes is just copy-pasting a link to my page! idk how to end this point without coming across as a bit of a share beggar pls send help

*I'm not a fan of making some content exclusive to a platform, but... Some of the content that I can post on Telegram can't be posted on here without breaking the ToS... And I can't make some shitty, low effort jokes here either, so... It's just how it comes out in the end, for better or for worse.



#5: Personal life (or rather, only the things that I am willing to share from it)

Depression's still around, so that's stable in my life! Not much else is stable, though. In short... I did fuck things up pretty fucking badly recently, and that still stings, even if the most important part of it could be fixed. As for 2020, it's been pretty okay-ish for me, up until the final months, when it became absolute hell for a lot of reasons that are too personal to share around. Especially when it involves other people who'd probably not be too happy if I'd disclose any of the details. Either way, the other big thing that y'all probably are waiting to her about because it's 2000-20-fucking-1? Didn't get the Big Scary C-word 38/2, in spite of all the people straight up ignoring any sort of personal space at the store, and some of them also without any sort of masks on them. I have absolutely no clue how, as of today, I'm still clean and never had it, while it did go rampant in this bumfucknowhere town for a bit. The closest I've got was mom's colleagues getting it and being in the same spaces as she was, but at completely different times of day, and it's been way over 2 weeks since then, so... I don't know if I'm lucky, or if my mom's the lucky one that, in spite of her somewhat frequent carelessness, didn't bring it home to everyone yet. Anyway... What matters now is survival until I (or most of my family) is finally gonna get vaccines, which... It's not certain at all when that'll be, because Poland, both politically and in regards to healthcare, is an absolute joke. But, on the other hand... The turtleneck-like scarf that I use as a mask isn't all that bad tbh. Looks quite well, keeps me warm in winter and makes me feel more confident, actually. It's just a weird thing with people not being able to see the entirety of my face and thus, no ability to clearly tell emotion from it. Human psyche is truly something, innit?



Either way, that's all for the update, stay safe and all that stuff. Feel free to comment about how much you (didn't) miss me (at all) or something! And, if you want (and can!), follow my TG channels, cuz that's where I post things as soon as I make them!

So I've jumped on the bandwagon, seeing other artists make calendars and sell them... And I wanted to do y'all one better, and make one for free! So, here it is:
2021 Best Derg™️ Calendar®️ 240p HD NO VIRUS FREE DOWNLOAD edition

https://drive.google.com/drive/fold.....dm?usp=sharing
(OCs © respective owners, too much effort for me to credit all of them when I don't know some of their FA names lmao)

https://picarto.tv/Devv
https://picarto.tv/Devv
https://picarto.tv/Devv
https://picarto.tv/Devv
https://picarto.tv/Devv

this is probably gonna be a mistake, but here i go


So I want to set up my Patreon page, this time... Actually for real, and have it function and all those things. So yeah, here goes the question that I have to y'all as my community: What sort of things would you like to see as rewards? How much would you say I should charge for it? And all sorts of things that I might not have thought about yet, you're free to suggest, either down in the comments or down in my DMs anywhere. Do note though that I'd rather not make WIP images paywalled, as I still want to make them available through my Telegram channels free of charge. So yeah, @ me, fear not - I don't bite!

I now commence a small sale of commissions, 20% off all comms, so if you wanna get your coronasonas drawn - you can do so without denting your wallet too hard! Sale will last 2 weeks, go ahead and have fun!
https://bit.ly/2w6etUU

To quickly yeet this out of the way, I post a lot more art, a lot more frequently and even some WIPs over at my Telegram channels (SFW, NSFW) and Discord server. If you haven't joined them yet - I highly encourage doing so! You can also reach out to me a lot easier, if you want! I don't bite!

Now to the meat and potatoes of what I wanted to announce...

As I already said on TG chats and Discord server, I have archives on Trello with the unfinished arts! You're free to download them and do whatever you do with them, under one condition: you shall give me credit for it! except, of course, ref sheets, which are also archived there. Conviniently in one place, with original, unedited PNG files!
SFW archive: https://trello.com/b/wTmGGmSD/archive
NSFW archive: https://trello.com/b/peB6FRyL/archive-nsfw

Also, for those really curious about what I'm working on currently... Progress board, also on trello: https://trello.com/b/QqyaxyuR/progress-board


that's all
peace y'all

Posted using PostyBirb

Commissions are now, actually and officially, open, for once! Shoot me a DM if you're interested! Price sheet here: https://bit.ly/2w6etUU

Posted using PostyBirb

Commisisons aren't quite open yet, buuut... In the name of practicality over aesthetics - I've made a new commission sheet, this time as an easily editable sheet! Check it out!

Posted using PostyBirb

Phoenix never dies, as they say. It just turns into ashes, then just gets back to life like nothing ever happened. Always returns to pester you and peck that snack of yours after a long, exhausting day of work, right when you want to relax. Avian creatures can cause plenty of mischief sometimes, don't they?

Either way, I'm back, just like the aforementioned creature, except I'm not gonna peck your snack. If anything has to happen to your snack, it'll be devoured rather than just nibbled on slightly. But it's not your food that I'm the most interested about, but eyes. No, not gonna poke them out, unless you really take offence to large creatures. Then it's not my issue anyway, it's your issue. Instead, I'm going to (hopefully) entertain your mind through your eyes, while you look at my creations that I've created. Very hard emphasis on me there, and more about why I did that later in this journal. But yes, hello, this annoying, screeching dragon has returned, for better or worse.


If you don't want to read something like an autobiography, just skip a few paragraphs, I'll mark it down nicely so you'll see when that stuff is over.
(oh also I didn't double read some of the stuff below, so if I'm talking out of my arse - feel free to point it out in the comments, I'll likely clarify some holes in my thoughts)


So yeah, where do I begin... Maybe let's just go from the start, a few years back when I started drawing. My depression has started around the same time too, awesome. Not only I'm dealing with learning art, I'm also trying to cope with the world around me that I felt so alienated from, being the ambitious and interaction starved teen I was. Cool. There were better and worse days, but in the end - two things are quite important to mention. One - I've finally decided to stick to something in my life, rather than have no clear cut goal for the future and any sense of direction, progress, devoid of emotions or anything special. And second - in the process I've met a lot of people. Some of them I still know to this day and I talk to them almost daily, some of them were friendships that just faded over time, and some... Well, to this day I feel they really hate me. Some people might have a valid point for it, some might not, who am I to judge.

Ever since I started drawing I've had few iterations of my dreams, through animated series, to movies, comic series and any mix of the aforementioned. Two things they all had in common: they were all very ambitious, large projects. And they were all planned with some grander purpose to them, larger than just telling a story and getting on with it, entertaining people. The purpose changed multiple times and evolved over time, but it was always there, and always was, at least in my eyes, for the greater good of society and humanity as a whole. A very foolish and pretentious assumption to make for a teenager, isn't it?

Now fast forward some time, depression is still there, sure, but it's getting better, starting to cope with it, then I discover Furaffinity and the weird things that lie within... And, shock! "There are other people that are into something as weird as I am into? Oh no. OH NO. I hate myself for it!". And as I thought - I did, undoing some progress in fight against depression in the process. Even now when thinking about my weird deviation it sometimes makes me reconsider the fabric of reality and if the pizza that I ate last week was not judging me as I ate it. And for a very long time I've had no idea what even made me hate it. I still don't have a 100% certainty about it, but I'll say what I feel like saying in this regard... later. Because, you see, before I figured something out, there were some things prior to that. And one of them was...

...The moment I started drawing the more kinky things, actually tried to break through my fears and anxieties. It wasn't easy, but I've met plenty of people that helped me with it and were overall pretty accepting of it. So accepting, in fact, that I think to this day I was, and still am, the most judgemental person in regards to myself. But yeah, I just rolled along, rolled and rolled. But there was a point where every mini-plot line described above just merged into one, and it was... Well... Not so great, as you might expect. Because what happens when you mix a depressed, ambitious teenager with shit loads of anxiety, insecurity and self-disgust flowing in his veins?

Poison. Literal poison. And I drank it all. And then paid for it dearly, being lucky to even go through it unbroken.

The insanely high ambition I've had basically drove me to quite a lot of things. Always being told that I'm some super great person in my childhood, that everyone else bullies me because they are jealous of me and my awesomeness made me feel superior to others. And that then clashed with the realization that, fuck, I'm not as great as I thought I was. Hard reality check, and a large dose of dissonance that followed. Who's right in this case? Is it the people that told me that I'm great and awesome, or is it the world that politely reminded me that I'm not as awesome as I think I am? I just couldn't quite manage the fact that I might be both things at once, so things went fucky. Very fucky. Lots of drama, lots of feeling like I'm above other people and that I am better, but also feeling like I am isolated and basically thrown aside by like, everyone. But... To achieve my ambitious goals, I needed to be popular. VERY popular. And, seeing as people that were making things I've considered inferior and getting A LOT of success for it, I've decided to just kinda copy them and follow their tracks. I've joined the endless rat race, the popularity contest and let the greed take a hold over me. And with greed, I've also allowed negative emotions to pour right in too - jealousy, unjustified hatred, angst.

What ended up happening at some point is just me trying to mass produce art, to appeal to the largest possible demographic, trying to get as much as I could in the shortest time possible, always feeling like I'm on a timer, rushing it all. You can kinda even see the quality drop because of it in few places where I tripped up and just yeet an image out because "fuck it, others are doing worse job than me and are getting more faves than me". And here you can cue the surprised Pikachu face that I've had when an art like that didn't get a shit load of views. And where did I try to find blame? It ain't me who's in the wrong, it's them! Those disgusting furries, who just don't see the true quality of the things I put out! It's all their fault for my failures! As you might have guessed, that went very well. So well in fact that I haven't made any bigger leaps in my arts for more than a year.

And so, after few months of that, I've started to feel worn out on art. I essentially started to procrastinate everything, commission list that I've had giving me large anxiety, preventing me from drawing too much, if at all, lots of delays, next to no progress and, above all, a slight regression in terms of my mental state. It went so far as to make me just essentially give up on those ambitious dreams that I've had and stop caring, since I just won't ever get there, might as well just give up now and fuck off. But, giving up on art? The only thing I've ever committed to in life? The only thing that had at least some sort of value for my future? I didn't want to do that. So I've kept on going for few months more, getting more worn and more torn as I went. And then, the final straw before I decided to take some sort of a break happened, which I can't really disclose even now. Either way, the result was the last large journal I've made that you might've seen.

Ever since I left, I just kinda went on doing whatever I did, except no longer taking part in the community too much. Just vibin' along. Posting arts on Discord servers and Telegram channels, just enjoying whatever I had left to enjoy in life, slowly regaining some sanity, peace of mind, maturing as I went along, actually having some fun again. And it just kinda struck me that it was me being my own issue for that long ass time, all I had to do was to just chill out, do something for myself for once and figure myself out. Fame and whatever else comes with it was not the solution, even to feeling ignored and abandoned for all those long years, of long dramas, in various places, with all those people that I've had fights with (In hindsight - fuck some of them though, even till this day. I only wish I wouldn't have wasted so much time and effort on them, as it really led to nothing in the end.). I've just realized that I am this kind of person that was never cut out to be super likeable and super popular, ever. I just am who I am, whatever the fuck it is that I am. I don't believe that I am an evil person, the worst this world has seen, but I don't believe I'm some kind of angel that others should follow either. I just am some kinkyfucker69 with lots of my own opinions that not everybody has to agree with. And about them...

[if you really don't want to read others' opinions, for whatever reason, don't read the 4 paragraphs below]

The only thing that I've still retained, in a way, is my general distaste towards the furry fandom in a larger scope. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad, it's just that some people within the fandom are really, really vocal about certain things and I really think it'd be better for everyone involved if they just thought a few more times before they post something. It not only paints a bad image of them as people, but also damages the image of the community and encourages some really bad behaviours in others that follow them, especially those really susceptible to things like peer pressure. Then there's also lots of toxicity in some parts of the fandom, lots of drama and general hostility. Very, very extreme behaviours, where if you disagree with some people in the community you're gonna basically the devil himself, because you dare to disagree with somebody. And then there's also plenty of people within the fandom that I think shouldn't even be welcome further than 50 meters away from a specialist facility in which they should be educated about their wrongdoings, let alone a furry con or a public place with a lot of minors around. Yeah, it annoys me that some people became so accepting of other people and how different they are that we're allowing objectively awful people to roam around among them without any backlash from the larger part of the fandom, some communities even being totally okay with those people and accepting of what they are into, even if it is illegal practically everywhere in the world. Just, disgusting to me. And sure, there is no way to truly enforce that with 100% effectiveness, but what I'm advocating is... Please, at least try. At least if things fail in the end, you can say you've at least tried.

And as to why I've had issues accepting my kink, and still do sometimes... I'm just different. Very fucking different, in fact. The things I like are just so oddly specific and so niche, within a niche fetish already... And it's kinda funny, since I've seen arts closer to what I like in other fetishes, like vore and pregnancy, rather than inflation. But there usually was something about those arts that just didn't stick with me, always something that I'm not into, either the topic of the art itself or something in the execution just being that tiny bit off and generally irking me enough not to like the image. And inflation fetish arts... Well, they either are completely different kind of inflation to what I like, or the execution is sometimes just kinda lacking, or there's something that really annoys me about the art. A lot of it down to just personal preference really.

But a lot of the time it's also quality. In a lot of cases - it's really, really bad. And sure, everyone sucked at some point in their creations, yes. Everyone had to go through that shitty stage and evolve. Key word is evolve. With some of the artists I really feel like they're already at the top of their abilities, plus a lot of them acts like they wouldn't want to hear anything other than just praise of what they're doing. Sure, nice words are encouraging, but sugar-coating it forever deals more harm than good. Sometimes you gotta just accept that somebody might not like a thing in an image and might suggest an improvement to it. It's up to the artist to decide if he agrees with it and implements it or if he ignores it because it's not what he envisioned or won't work too well with what he's trying to go for. Or when it's simply a shite suggestion, cuz they do happen sometimes, yes. Artist isn't always right, as some parts of the community behave, which ties in with one of the previous paragraphs a little bit. As much as hearing all the praise feels nice a lot of the time and might be encouraging in the short term, personally I feel a lot more motivated if somebody suggests me something to improve with my arts, to get better and just enjoy my own arts even more. If I enjoy what I'm doing, "coincidentally" others tend to like those images more too, which further improves the quality of arts, since they all praise it more and now point out some more possible improvements, blah blah blah, a positive loop sets in and everyone benefits in the long term. Sure, not everyone might be in it for more than just passing some time, but even then I'd say it's always good to learn new things and improve, who knows, maybe things will get dire one day for you and art will be the thing you'll find solitude in, or maybe even work as an artist, because nowhere else will there be a place for you in the cruel job market of the future?

You're free to comment down below about how full of shit I am by saying any of the above, I'll gladly read it and possibly reconsider my approach on the whole issue, because that's what discussions are for - conversation, not for somebody to smear shit all over the other person because his opinion is just so shite and there is only one correct opinion about things.


|| THIS IS WHERE THE OPINIONS AND PERSONAL STUFF ENDS ||


So, what will happen with the art side of things, and my general online presence? Well, for starters, it will exist again. But, I want to start from scratch, in a way. Rebuild my online presence from ground up, lay new foundations and all. And so, I will comprehensibly list all the major changes, in few points with a bit of extra explanations:

>It's MY show!
So this means that I'm essentially doing whatever the fuck I want in here. If you're not following me for what I am doing, or you don't like what I'm doing - you're free to unfollow anytime, not holding you hostage or anything. Won't hold it against you, it happens. It's okay to do this. Feel free to unfollow also if you really disagree with me or whatever, but if you'd rather go down into the comments to tell me how full of shit I am for saying something - I encourage you to do so, just remain civil while doing so, it's a lot better for everyone involved. But yeah, overall, expect me to now be myself a lot more, rather than put up a facade that makes me more marketable and all that. Will also have to make some sort of short bio on a lot of the sites for myself, yeah.

>A LOT more interaction, once again!
As some of you might now, I'm kind of an open person and I love interacting with people, forming a community and all, just generally being helpful too. So I'll do my best to interact with everyone as much as I can, and so I kind of expect you to do the same and try to interact with me, cuz you see... A wall isn't too responsive, isn't it? Just stands there and does fuck all, no matter how much you talk to it or push it. I'm not gonna be a wall to you, unless you're gonna be really mean and unpleasant in general (and I am a quite patient person in regards to that). And so, I don't want you to be a wall towards me, yes-yes?

>Commissions - now limited and priced differently!
Less commissions in general I'm afraid, my dudes. Neglected my own, personal things due to my greed in not so recent past, and even more distant past. So I'll just limit comms to likely just 3 slots and open them periodically. Expect prices to change around plenty too. In both directions.

>Arts, arts, arts, of all kinds!
Kinky arts are not gonna go away entirely. But they are not going to always be the main focus, just whenever I feel like it. And they're going to be mostly arts of what I personally find enjoyable, except maybe few one-off arts once in a while. And don't expect the best quality every time either, I'll be posting a lot of different things, even sketches and all that jazz. And even if you're gonna feel starved for more of my arts...

>Discord? Telegram? Yeah, sure! Let's chat!
As some of you know, before departure I've made a Discord server for my followers that want to still follow me on my hiatus... Which then evolved and works as a shared server for 3 other artist friends of mine. I drop WIPs quite often there too, as I do on the Telegram channel that I have! And with the new year - we're likely going to return to the idea of monthly raffles over on Discord! Feel free to come there to throw your own arts around too, if you want! Y'all are accepted as long as you behave and don't do anything illegal, yas! It's also a very good way to catch me for a chat, ask me a question or two or just keep up to date on stuff. Telegram channel is also a thing where I post arts and random thoughts... and random shit too. Shitposts galore all the way! Links at the bottom of this journal! And speaking of keeping up to date...

>STREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMS!
Yup, last few weeks I've been streaming things. Drawing, gaming, shitty memes - you name it! And it's a thing I'd like to very much expand upon in 2020, hope to see you there! To make sure you're not gonna miss it - Telegram, Discord or Twitter announcements will likely be the most reliable means to find when I'm streaming! Picarto for arts and some gaming once in a while maybe, and Twitch for proper gaming, if that floats your boat.

>Art sites - a bit of a change...
Well, you remember Weasyl? Well, not gonna use it for the time being. DeviantART? While it's for SFW arts only, I'll still use it, even though it feels slightly limiting. Twitter? As long as they're not going to throw out all NSFW accounts under the bus - sure! What I want to try out and start using a lot more is FurryNetwork, seems like the site that might be the future, unless FA somehow catches up a decade with the website backend and features, since it's lacking by a lot in that department... Even the new look that it just received doesn't look so future proof, after all. Hopefully it all works out well in the end, yes?

>All support appreciated!
While Patreon might not be a nice site for... Quite a long time for creators like me, or generally for anybody not living in the US and not wanting to put up with some W8BEN forms, there are alternatives. But I still haven't found one that's not devoid of life or just simply shite. Best I can offer you is a PayPal link to donate me some ca$h if you feel like it, but that's not the only way you can support me!

"Wait, what? Why does this sound like you're trying to advertise some shitty mobile game here and tell us to use an affiliate code?" That's right! I've never been much of a mobile gamer, but, forget everything you think you know about mobile games because Raid Shadow Legends is one of the most ambitious RPG projects of 2019 has just been released and will change everything!

Horrible jokes aside, just commenting, leaving a fave on the art or sharing it around helps me A LOT in the long term! Leaving critique or even a negative opinion about the art is also very much appreciated, so don't feel afraid about it! To also clarify things a little bit more, I won't mind if you save my art to your hard drive for whatever reason you might have, as long as you're not trying to profit off of it. That being said, if you wanna trace my art - sure, do so, as long as you're not gonna do so for any quantifiable profit! I'd appreciate a credit too! If you feel like my art is good enough to be put up on e621 - go ahead and submit it there! Posting things there by myself is kind of tedious, especially the tags when you're kind of uninterested in all those weird naming conventions for fetishes. I just draw, I don't care to name every single vagibone there is, man! Either way, point is, no need to ship trains full of gold to this dragon to make him happy - a bit of assistance and interaction will do wonders too!

If I remind myself something that I forgot to say earlier, I'll let y'all know about it, until then though... Merry christ-- I mean, happy new year to y'all! And see ya in 2020, hopefully a lot more prosperous year than 2019 was!

PS. Just realized how poorly blocks of text look on the new layout on FA... you might want to check out the journal from FurryNetwork, might be easier to read!


Here's the links:
Telegram channel, also the other Telegram channel for racing related news and reports
Discord server
Twitter
DeviantART
Furaffinity (you are here, silly!)
FurryNetwork
Picarto
Twitch

.- / .--. .... --- . -. .. -..- / -. . ...- . .-. / -.. .. . ... .-.-.-

Might as well be, with how things are right now. As you might've noticed I'm active less and less on here, for over a year or so now... And I have my reasons for it too, some of which... Should not be stated here at all. Ever. It never brought anything good to anybody here when they said that stuff. For those that I can state though... I never felt welcome here after a certain point and a certain event on this site happened. The statistics were way down, people were engaging with my arts less and less... And all that has unfortunately aligned with personal life and all the stress I've had around the time too. I desperately tried to do things to get views, to get money... And that got me into more stress. Firstly because I just couldn't catch up with the amount of commissions I've had in queue, and second because everything I've tried didn't work, at all. So then I started to do things mostly for myself only... And that worked even worse, all the pandering was actually working better, even though it wore me out as all fuck. And in retrospect, looking at the stats, I don't think things have changed for better either, whenever I put my heart into the arts I'm making - barely anybody cares to even view them. But the moment I shit out something that's purely to pander to what the people want... That's when they actually praise it like it's the best thing ever. I hate it. Negative feedback loop on top of already piled up stress and other issues I've been experiencing. So that leads me here, at this stage where I just give up, because nobody cares about the REAL me, the true and honest me, unfiltered me. Me that's not always so cheery, positive and 24/7 horny, drawing massive fucking balloons. That's not what I am, and the feedback that I'm getting for the most part is that I shouldn't be myself anymore, because it's not relatable, or maybe because it's just not aligning with what everyone else seems to like on this site, within this fetish "community". I simply no longer feel welcome here and I don't think I should be here any longer than I have to. Other sites aren't welcoming either, even if I pander to their needs - they just don't care. And for somebody without great self confidence and with this unexplainable craving for attention... In long term, that's just ruining me from within.



Thanks to all of you who supported me along the way! I really hope things are gonna work out fine for all of you and that you're all fine out there, that life is going well for you. I'll still be posting here occasionally, mostly from necessity of being relevant as an artist than for my own enjoyment. In case if you want to be up to date with my art and support me further - I recommend checking out the links at the bottom of this journal, since I'll post there very frequently and you'll likely catch me online on there most of the time too.



It's been a pleasure to be around here, as long as it lasted, but as with everything - all the good things in life just end, sooner or later, one way or another. Unless something will change big time, I doubt I'll return here for anything more than just posting my drawings and redirecting traffic elsewhere... Somewhere where I can be myself without fear of people disliking it, without the paranoia that everyone expects me to be who I'm not.



To leave this on a positive note though... I encourage every single one of you that went so deep into this journal to support all of your favourite artists as much as you can. You never know what's going on behind the scenes in their lives, and maybe just that one positive comment you'll leave will make their day a lot better.






so yeah the links and shit, in order of my personal preference where to post stuff:

Telegram channels:
Art: https://t.me/DevvvArt
Racing: https://t.me/GarboRadio

Discord server:
https://discordapp.com/invite/nj6NJpe

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Dev_RMM

Commissions are closing down TOMMOROW! If you still want a fullbody for mere 30$ - about time to get it!

Yeah, kinda wanting some money quick right now for personal stuff. Keyboard broke and I want a decent replacement, plus... I also might save up for my next goal now too, heh. 30$ for each, no NSFW fees, pay only after sketch is completed, estimated completion time is up to 2 months from 14th.

so uhh, yeah, I ventured into uploading there myself and boy oh boy, somebody already uploaded some art of mine there beforehand, one person that I know of and one other person that I didn't know of... GREAT, EY! Saves me some hassle! Whoever you are, thanks for that! Anyway, if you're willing to do the same - just remember to give full credit to me (Devv, 2 Vs, not 3 like here) and check if it wasn't uploaded under the artist tag yet. I'm not going to go over my old arts and upload them there one by one and tag them properly, so... If you like some older artwork of mine, think that it's good enough to be posted on e621 and feel like spreading it around and helping me a bit - go ahead! I appreciate that!


also using this journal: quick update
As you've seen, uploading again. I am still far from daily uploads, but almost certainly I'll be back to posting something weekly. I still have few piled up arts to finish off before starting off totally fresh and tweaking the commission prices and giving the rules for commissioning me a final touch too, so... Stay tuned!



...also I've just noticed that it's 3 in the morning of the April 4th, my birthday. am birthday boye now. yay. happy birthday me, I guess. I hope that with age comes the strength to resist the urge to play Factorio all day lmao