so for those of you whom i haven't told yet, my mum's beloved dog, tucker, passed away just over a week ago. he was 4 years old, and his liver failed. despite everything the docs did they couldn't save him. we're not sure the cause of it - it could be just pure coincidence, or he might have eaten something he found somewhere which made him sick; it may even be something environmental. we learned that radon may be a causal factor, so my mum plans to get her house checked (a good idea anyways, considering it was built in the late 50s)

the loss hit me hard; i spent a lot of time with that dog. i loved him a lot; i spent an entire summer, just him and i while my mum was in china. i took care of him and we grew real close. i was one of his favorite people. he'd go berserk as soon as i entered the house and would run circles around me in excitement. i'm going to miss him, a lot.

this morning my mum and i stopped at a pet store, to pick up something for my sister's puppy (who is also tucker's little brother - same parents, different litter). it hit me harder than anything when my mom pointed to a toy and said "i bought one of those... i was going to give it to [my stepdad] for christmas, to play with tucker. i didn't give it to him." that hit me worse than anything, and i almost lost it there in the store. somehow that statement made everything seem so much more real, the pain that much more intense.

its refreshed in me my own long-standing desire to get a dog. in a way i almost feel like i'm being given another chance right now; our landlord has decided that she doesn't like paying her bills, so the bank is taking the house, and we, the renters, are getting kicked out. my roommate whom i have been living with for about three years is thinking we should split ways, due to financial reasons (not arguments, just our respective financial situations). i'm thinking that this would be a good time to try and find a place that will let me have a dog -- a real dog, not one of those football-with-legs that old women carry around and put little knit sweaters on. i haven't lived on my own before - completely on my own, that is. i don't want to do it, but it looks like i'm left with little choice right now. if i'm going to be living on my own, i'm going to want a dog around. it hurts me every day to long for one in the house again and not have one around. nearly my entire life i've had a dog, and there's a big piece of my life that feels like it's missing.

some people are just "dog people" - our lives don't feel complete without one. i'm a dog person. my life doesn't feel complete without one, and i feel very unfulfilled. whenever i'm playing with a dog, or even just chilling out with my friend's dog, things feel so much more comfortable.

okay so i totally need more people to play this with, since the only people i know who have it are not people i see on any form of regular basis. if you want to start up a game, PM me and we'll get shit set up. :3

additionally sohjin and ruezyklon both need to have this game and come kill zombies with me <3

alright folks, haven't posted a whole lot of model work recently. discouraged at not having a good camera or photo environment lately (or ever, really, for that matter), but i've got a few things i've churned out over the past few months that i'm gonna try to get photo'd up and posted out here for your viewing pleasure. i'm just putting the finishing touches on an IG chimera right now, and i honestly think it's pretty much my best work i've ever done on any vehicle; i've been getting lots of praise for the technique i've been using on this and other models recently, and i've been working hard to perfect it.

okay, so some of you may have beard me bitch about this before.

gunbroker.com is just about the most worthless website in the universe if you're looking to buy a firearm. this is essentially a site dedicated to people masturbating about how much they wish their firearms were actually worth, rather than based on condition, rarity, and market value.

where else can you buy a Nagant revolver for $150+? that's right, a gun ordinarilly valued at around $70-$110 (depending on date and condition as well as other factors) going for 1.5-2x its actual worth. want a mosin-nagant rifle but can't be arsed to drive to your local gun store? fear not, you can buy a used 91/30 with a pitted, nearly-smooth bore for almost $200 - about 3 times the price of a regular "surplus-grade" 91/30 (which would actually have a strong rifling and the ability to shoot).

maybe you want a german K98 sniper modified rifle? fortunately, you can find an original K98 in its original configuration as it was assembled back in '42. except it isn't. it's a trigger assembly and receiver from a Gewehr 98 pre-WW1, a 1939 barrel, and a stock that looks like it survived a trip down a mountainside. the price tag on this beautiful piece of history? $2,000. guess you pay extra because it's composed of 5 different guns at once.

if you're like me, you may be pining over an m1 garand, a wonderfully historic rifle that helped lead allied forces to victory over nazi germany and imperial japan. fortunately, you can find one on gunbroker.com for just $695! except that all you're buying is a rusted and metal-fatigued receiver group and barrel, the latter of which the seller admits has been deemed unsafe for use by a gunsmith. that's okay, though, because after you buy a new barrel for it, and a new stock, and a new receiver to replace the pitted non-functioning one you just bought, you have a working rifle for just $695 more than you would have paid to buy one in the first place. hey, this makes a good bit of business sense -- if people are dumb enough to shell out almost $700 for something that needs to be completely replaced, maybe they'll shell out $50 for some punctured bicycle inner tubes. let's ALL sell our garbage online! up first is this empty bottle of Dr Pepper. completely empty, the label has been peeled off, and the scant few drops that remain are warm and flat. shall we start the bidding at $300?

now i realize that the owners of gunbroker.com are not responsible for this, any more than black & decker is responsible for some psychopath using one of their chainsaws to gut tourists. i believe the creators of this site had a fine idea, to allow people to place their firearms up for sale in an online auction to get their best value.

turns out, that idea is a lot like spandex: great in theory, but then real people start using it and it just goes downhill.

shamelessly pilfered from punkaroo -- and no, i probably don't care enough to put in an actual userlink.

001. Name → gus
002. Nickname(s) → dev, d, val, v, fag
003. Status → 90/90 hp. he is armed with an m1 garand.
004. Zodiac sign → taurus?
005. Male or female → male
006. Elementary → fucked if i remember
007. Middle School → see above
008. High School → passed, somehow
009. Smart → usually
010. Hair color → dark blondish
011. Long or short → medium-long
012. Loud or Quiet → loud
013. Sweats or Jeans → n/a
014. Phone or Camera → phone
015. Health freak → ahahaha
016. Drink or Smoke? → all of the above
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → ron perlman narrating the fallout 2 intro fuck yes
018. Eating or Drinking → all of the above
019. Piercings → n/a
020. Tattoos → none yet
FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → n/a
024. First best friend → friend i met in church. we grew apart but still hung out a bit. haven't seen him since high school.
025. First award → "participant"
026. First crush → tara. always had a thing for loners. she's probably a goth now. hopefully :3
027. First pet → big ol' smelly mutt; loved him a ton :(
028. First big vacation → define "big"
030. First big birthday → the fuck is this supposed to mean? i had a birthday at pizza hut once.

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating → hot chicken
050. Drinking → watta
052. I'm about to → masturbate probably
053. Listening to → tribal house
054. Plans for today → wake up hung over

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? → probably fucking no
059. Want to get married? → no but i want gay marriage legalized
060. Careers → advancement prospects: laughable

SOMETHING ABOUT SEX:
068. Lips or eyes → eyes can't suck dick
070. Shorter or taller? → short and stocky (i'm looking at you sohjin) or tall and lanky, either way i'm happy
072. Romantic or spontaneous → anything involving penis
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → arms. stocky. give.
074. Sensitive or loud → yes
075. Hook-up or relationship → hook-up relationships.
077. Troublemaker or hesitant → i never fall for anyone good for me (troublemaker)

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts → only when they're already on my face
081. Ran away from home → technically
084. Broken someone's heart → no but that whore broke mine
085. Been arrested → with all the shit i did in my youth, surpsisingly no
087. Cried when someone died → dad ;-;


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → i'm slime
090. Miracles → see above
091. Love at first sight → no
092. Heaven → neg
093. Santa Claus → bastard has not delivered in years; no
094. Sex on the first date → why bother with the date
095. Kiss on the first date → ew no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → no :(
099. Do you believe in God → define "god"
100. Post as 100 truths and tag: fuck i don't care

if you have ever worked in a call center, you'll know exactly what i mean.

"i'm sorry, i couldn't hear you over all of your excuses."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzoXQKumgCw

"telling them that 'everyone is out to get you' -- in reference to help!"

everything's blue
in this world
the deepest shade of mushroom blue
all fuzzy
spilling out of my head...

so i finally got around to sorting my massive pile of spent shell casings.

2 hours worth of work and two MASSIVE boxes later, i've got boxes full of the following:

8mm mauser
7.62x54r
30.06
.30-30
5.56
.45acp
.38spl
.357

...yeah, i got some brass

so i'm driving home from work and pull up to a red light a block or two from home. a moment later, some guy pulls up in a huge F250 (or non-Ford equivalent thereof) with a massive lift kit, huge coil-over shocks, and massive dirtmaster tires. he's got his windows down and must have been between tracks because suddenly i hear loud music starts blasting from his speakers.

...


fucking BUBBLEGUM POP.

...


i had a laugh

i officially received my first bit of fan art... well, ever. friend of mine fell in love with one of my characters and did up a nice badge-type drawing. i can't blame him for liking the subject matter; Lev is probably my favorite character to play, cuz he's so darn cute (and well-armed)!

check out the original http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1380336/ and send him lots of <3

so I've got a 17" trinitron monitor that I'd thought got totally wrecked in the move last year. There were three huge marks across the front of the screen that wouldn't come off when I tried to wipe it off, looked like something metal had dragged across the screen and left a series of nasty gouges. It's been sitting there for a year.

well, hooked it up earlier this week for a dual-monitor setup (and to have something to connect my xbox to). tonight on a whim I just scratched at one of the spots, and lo and behold, when I pulled my finger away it was clear.

what I had thought to be three hugs monitor-killing scratched that really hampered my view turned out to be some REALLY stubborn material that had plastered itself to the glass. I had to scrape hard to get it off, but now it almost looks like new, save for a couple of small scratches on the sides of the screen.

its almost like getting a free monitor <3

"anything at any price
all of this for you

all the spoils of a wasted life
all of this... for you"

trent reznor [nin] - "the great below"

every time i hear this and try to sing along, these words catch in my throat. these lyrics are very powerful to me.

to me, they speak of someone who has devoted his life in the pursuit of someone, perhaps someone who doesn't return his feelings. in the end, he gives everything for this person, including his own life, and is left with nothing.

what do they say to you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SItPGEsjLQ

best instructional video ever

it's global thermonuclear warfare, and nobody wins

but maybe you can lose the least.

https://www.everybody-dies.com

i put up another story nobody will read

I don't know if we go to heaven when we die, but

We seem particularly apt at making our own hell here.

I COULD BUY A MOTHERFUCKING CLASS-3 FIREARM WITH WHAT I OWE IN TAXES THIS YEAR >:O

i've been saying it for months that this laptop isn't going to survive the year. looks like i proved myself right

the thing finally went out. i haven't had the opportunity to do any indepth testing on it yet but signs point to the drive controller. the drive is able to boot fine and read the MBA because it brings up my bootloader. once it tries to boot into either windows or linux, it gives a kernel panic because it's unable to read the disk.

this is almost certainly caused by the drive being unable to enter a UDMA mode. for legacy purposes, nearly every ata device is initialized by the BIOS into a lowlevel mode, usually PIO, until the system kernel is loaded and takes over resource management. my guess is the system is trying to go into a higher-level access mode and loses communication to the drive as soon as it brings it into a higher function mode.

going to see if i have my 2.5-to-3.5 adapter that i can plug my laptop drive into. there's some data on it that i'd rather not lose. most of it, fuck it, i've got the REAL important stuff backed up on my desktop or elsewhere, but there's some other stuff i'd like to try and retrieve

if this ends up being an irreparable issue, i'll be stripping the laptop of parts. and selling them CHEAP. tell your friends if they're looking for parts -- specifically it's a DELL INSPIRON 8200 and core components swappable between 8000 - 8200 models, some other components may work in other devices. i'll keep you all updated on the status. i might be able to bring this thing back from the grave one last time; it'd be the third time this year.

on the plus side this is going to force me to use my kickawesome desktop for just about everything. gonna break out the stinkpad for chat use when playing games, but even for basic web browsing now with all the rich content out there, it can't keep up. 133MHz isn't as fast as it used to be.

exile is more bearable when you don't have to see or hear from the people you once called 'friend'...

never eat four gas station hot dogs in one day.

it may seem like a good idea but let me assure you it is not

now if you'll excuse me i'm going to go make the D: while dying in the corner

so some months ago i posted a wanted ad on here looking for a good werewolf miniature.

my work has come to fruition, the products of my labor can be seen in the four most recent entries in my gallery.

they're still WIPs so don't expect TOO much.

i'll post more pics as i feel necessary. or as i feel motivated to.

i'm slightly drunk right now having finished off a bottle of stoli.

war never changes

the end of the world occurred pretty much as we had predicted

too many humans, not enough space or resources to go around

the details are trivial and pointless, the reasons, as always, purely human ones

in 2077, the earth was nearly wiped clean of human life

a great cleansing, an atomic spark struck by human hands, quickly raged out of control

spears of nuclear fire rained from the skies

continents were swallowed in flames and fell beneath the boiling oceans

humanity was almost extinguished, their spirits becoming part of the background radiation that blanketed the earth

a quiet darkness fell across the planet, lasting many years

few survived the devastation

du kannst das nicht machen hier

so i was going to call up  sohjin and leave a hilarious voicemail for him to discover when he woke up

but the son of a bitch actually answered his phone

what kind of jark answers his phone?

seriously...