as we all know tax season is upon us. and i did my taxes and learned i'll have enough to get either a 360 with kinect or a ps3 with a few games. here are the pros and cons of the situation

Xbox 360

pros

-i get a brand new system

-i also get kinect with adventures

- i can revisit all of my fav games and replay

- i can play exclusives to the 360

- built in wifi plus kinect means i can video chat with people.

- dance central and a few other kinect games i can play.

-some of my fav games are less then 20 bucks now

cons

-i have to get cheapo games with my initial purchase cuz thats all i can afford for now.

- i can only get the 4 gig hard drive for now


PS3

pros

-exclusives and ports from the 360

-cheaper system and can afford more games

-can connect with my psp

-can afford more memory space

-can keep playing fav ps2 games

-blu ray player

cons

-the move doesn't interest me

-does it have wi-fi or do i have to buy something for it?


as you can see i'm at a standstill with which system i should get. i'm so torn with which system to get i've been weighing pros and cons for a bit until i get my tax return. so does anyone have some pros or cons i should look out for with either systems' newer incarnations?

I've seen many peculiar and unexplainable things that have happened to me during the ending of the year 2010. So many bad things have happened in this year that I was beginning to fade in my musings and my imagination and most of all in my ability to dream for what I want in life. However A great many signs have made me feel compelled to not surrender my dreams to a mundane existence.

1). When my niece Anna was born that very minute it began to snow, not only signifying the first day of Winter but also a great change in my family. Which is why when she's older I'll give her a nickname I thought of to remind her of how special her birth was to the world. Yuki is what I'll call her by nickname, it means "blessing snow" in Japanese.

2). When I was waiting for the bus in downtown Toledo I thought I saw was a toy rocket flying off in the distance but it started to drift higher into the sky and disappear entirely into the clouds. I don't know what it was, but wondering makes my head spin with the mysteries it could have been.

3). My sleep patterns have changed once again, I dream once again. Their becoming more vivid and memorable now, almost like I can control them in certain ways.

4). On New Years it rained all day, like my world was being cleansed and purified for the new year to come.

5). While it rained I saw a red light slowly traveling in the sky. It couldn't have been a plane because you can't see them during a rain storm and there lights normally blink. This light went across the sky and disappeared as it raised into the clouds once again.

Maybe these can be explained by common and simple explanations, but I like to think the world is telling me not to give up on my dreams and keep believing in the mysteries around us. What I'm writing may sound cheesy, but we all need a little cheese on our crackers now and then to make it taste a bit better.

Today will always be memorable as i played co-mediator to Janet in making sure my sister and her boyfriend didn't split up after a giant fight they had today. so today has both emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting for me. My sister just had a baby (my niece Anna) and her hormones are all over the place. She thought her boyfriend was cheating on her and lying behind her back. I honestly doubt that given her history with paranoia. Their fight spilled into the street where he pushed her into the snow after she tried to smack him in his face and walked off down the street barefoot in freezing icy streets. His mom picked him up in the street and I gave him his shoes and coat, we sat down for the next two hours trying to sort the fight out. Thank god Janet was there to give female perspective, I don't think I could have handled it myself. In the long run after all was said and done I figured out the main problem was my sister's fear that he only stayed with her because of their baby, and she is deathly afraid he'll leave her. She can blame him all she wants for her paranoia but in the end it's her fear that started the whole fight in the short version. I decided to take this down in a journal site because no one else knows me that well to find this. plus i have allot of pent up hostility and had to get it out by writing it somewhere. so for those of you reading this, your getting a bit of what i have to deal with in my house. but in all cases of fighting or arguing, the one thing i remember is to remain neutral no matter who is fighting who and never take sides. however even trying to be neutral can still cause distrust in certain cases. i'm sure my sister thinks i'm siding with her boyfriend cuz he's a guy, but given the history between us, i have reason to take more word from her boyfriend then her given my past with her. As a person and genetically i will always love my sister, but i've come to like her boyfriend as an older brother. so here's hoping the calm of the sea is upon us for now and hopefully they'll ride on the same boat through the storm along with their child Anna.

Have you ever had a dream that was simply perfect or just almost everything you'd want in a dream. I think i had my very first furry dream the other night. I was in my room and i was dreaming that i was talking to someone in my room. I couldn't see his face underneath his hoodie but i could tell it was a he. he had rabbit paws and was laying against the wall, his belly was huge, it covered allot of his legs. his belly was brown furred with patches of white and it was soft like a mattress when i laid on it. He wouldn't speak but he'd text on his cell phone and show me what he was saying to me. we talked like that as if it were real. i was snuggled against his belly and i pulled a blanket over us as we watched TV. and the ending to the dream was what woke me up, he texted on his phone "i luv u" and i spoke "your cell has my exact thoughts. we hugged again and i fell asleep in his arms. then i woke up in my bed in my room and all my blankets were wrapped around me, which explained the warmth in a way. but it was a perfectly wonderful dream, i don't know if i'll have another like it, but i hope i do someday, or i hope it comes true in a way.

I watched this cartoon network movie last night called Fire Breather. It's about a boy who is in a slight custody battle between his mom, a typical suburban woman who is a bit protective of her son and his father who happens to be a 300 foot tall dragon and king of the monsters who wants his son to succeed him as King of Kaiju. I was drawn into the story and had to put my psp down about a quarter into the movie in order to pay attention and draw myself in.

Duncan is 16 years old and faces the challenges of high school and being half dragon. He eats coal for meals and is beginning to breath fire for the first time as puberty sets in. His mom comforts him while his dad kidnaps him a bit into the movie and presents him as the heir to his crown as King of All Monsters. Duncan wants nothing more than to be normal but with a bully who wants to humiliate him and other monsters trying to kill him for the heir to the throne he has a bumpy road ahead.

The acting is decent in the beginning but gets better and more emotional towards the end especially when Duncan's mom and dad meet again for the first time in 16 years. Hint: she brings a gun and says they have issues to work out. The characters themselves display a bit of personality but some are easily forgettable after a while, especially the side characters. However the action scenes as well done and will keep you watching until the conclusion of the movie.

Overall this could be a foundation for a tv series or a tv movie series. Either way I would like this to continue and to read the comic book sometime that this show was adapted from. Cartoon Network will air the movie again this friday in case your interested at 9/8 central.

Commissions In Progress

1).
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3).
4).
5).

thank you for being my very first commissions, i will do my best.

As for anyone else who wishes for a commission(s) from me here are my rules and standards as well as prices. i have changed my prices to better fit customer satisfaction after going over my prices even i realized I was steep.

Writing

2000 words (tame)= $4, it will be $1 per 1000 words after 2000 words
here is a 2000 word example
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4281976

2000 words (adult)= $8, it will be $1 per 1000 words after 2000 words
here is a 2000 word example
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4281995/

Multiple Chapter stories will be discussed in private notes

Sketches

1 Character (tame)= $1
1 Character (adult)= $2

things i will draw
fat furs
forced feeding
muscle furs
macro/micro
yiffing (be specific in notes)
vore (be specific in notes)
hyper
inflation
explosions (within reason)
and whatever else i didn't think of

for anyone who wishes to request a commission please contact me via notes so i can begin to keep track of order and who is next. thank you also for watching and i hope to serve you in the future.

payments can be made either paypal or via money orders.

like the title says i'm dissapointed with allot of things in life right now.
work
personal
and all inbetween.

my birthday was a yard sale, no joke we made $4. my work only gives me a few days in a two week paycheck plan these days. my family's support is me doing everything in the house. and i haven't had a single commission since i'm low on cash these days and started asking that people pay me to rite a good fantasy for them. i know saying your life sucks is supposed to be bad to say but for the first time in my life i can honestly say my life sucks. i feel guilty for complaining cuz i always remind myself that somewhere in the world someone else is suffering the ultimate suffering, but tonight i'm complaining and not caring. this is the only place i can complain and no one in my house will play the game "i can top that". even if it's a legitimate complaint then they'll still find a way to turn it against me. i don't want their opinion i just want someone to listen to me for once. so i'm sorry your reading a list of complaints but i have no where else to go and vent my frustration and anger towards allot of things in my life. the only thing keeping my sanity and preventing me form a mass murder is my video games, my online buddies, the internet, my drawing, writinng, and good old fashioned masturbating. normally i'm a good person to be around but every now and then i need to be an asshole for a bit, my family finds it strange when i show attitude or even cuss, i only do these things when i need to scream or vent, sadly no one else in this house will listen to me or take me seriously. i don't need pity i just want a person to take the time and listen to what i have to say.

i am now 25 years old, for my present to myself the day before my birthday i watched the movie scott pilgrim vs the world which was incredibly awesome. i got myself 2000 psp points and a 4 gig memory card. haven't decided on what games to get yet but i'll think of something. so thanks everyone who has watched me or favored my work and i hope you'll cosider my work worthy of a commission for you.

i'm finally in the Full Sail student application program, one step closer to my dream coming true for bringing my stories to the video games. i just need to collect money for the seat fee, find a place to live in Florida and get all my financial aid together i can be there by next year. i keep it to next year because i need time to save money for living there. either that or i could take up my relatives offer of staying there. but i digress i would love to live in my own apartment, though with my financial situation i'd need roomates, and thankfully at full sail they have a great system to get you an apartment and appropriate roommates. wish me luck

my mom just told me that we have to give this computer back to her company, so i have to erase everything thats mine, i'll get another computer but i don't know how long i'll be gone or when we may get another one. if anyone else has a request with me i'm sorry for the delay but i need to get more paper and fix the scanner again. and for anyone who will miss me i'll be back soon hopefully

a part of me is crying inside, my father and I haven't spoken since his birthday last January. i never really got along with my father, i even told him how much i hated him once when i was twelve. but no matter what i said to him I always thought that he would one day treat me like a son rather than an attempt at a legacy. he's always there when you accomplish something, but never there when you fail or are in trouble. when i was becoming a teen my mom asked him to give me the talk between father's and sons. He taught me how to garden grass, and my mom had to give me the talk on the way home from his place. in retrospect my mom has been two parents at once for me as best as she could. my father always signed the child support checks and let us visit him on weekends. when i got an identity he thought he could mold me into something he wanted me to be.

on his last birthday my sister and I went to visit him, we couldn't afford presents till the end of the week. the night started out ok, we talked, had some laughs, but then he decided to give me a lecture about what i was doing wrong with my life. he used both of my sisters as an example of failure right in front of them. like a good boy, i held my tongue and stood there, a mistake i wish i could correct to the day. i let him insult my sisters with that damn smile on his face. my sister caitlin downed her sorrows in beer, and i was still in shock from the night.

from then on i have never spoken to him since, even on fathers day my sister felt obligated to see him, i didn't. i refused to speak to him and still do. my father treats this like a game, rather than an emotional conflict we have to resolve. he tells my other sister jesi that he no longer wants to see us until were ready to be successful independent adults. apart of me couldn't care less, but the other side of me, cries inside, wondering if at all he ever saw me as a son, or just something to get him recognized. i write this in the only place i know people will understand, and where i can properly let it out. through written words, i can say more, than actually speaking them, which ironically is why i have such a bad relationship with my father. if i'm using the definition correctly.

like allot of other fat furs, i sometimes wander into youtube and see some of the belly videos. i really like allot of them and the cartoon videos of fat chars or inflation or even muscle. so to overcome some of my shyness issue i've posted my very first belly jiggle video. here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2_Wll63ZBY

if it doesn't work then please just copy and paste it, please comment if you wish or click if you like my video.

Recently i've been seeing a very handsome and very obesely atractive man on my bus line in the past few weeks, i'd never approach him, but he's a good talker. i don't think he's gay but it would be interesting if he was. he makes me think of him as a papa bear figure. he's definnently over 400 pounds, when he gets on and bus the bus slightly tips a bit, and he has to wedge himself through the door a bit. when he sits down he takes up two seats and his belly rests between his legs and on his knees. he has a deep voice, i've spoken to him a few times before so he's nice. whenever the bus hits a bump in the road he jiggles all over, it's like watching a balloon filled with water or pudding jiggling. i don't know his name so i've secretly named him Papa Bear, to hug him once or rub his belly would be heaven for me. but i cannot, there is too much difference between us, he's straight i'm sure and would never be interested in me, but it's still nice to imagine him as my Papa Bear when riding on the bus with him.

if your a usual y know my rules

i'm trying to connect my Xbox 360 to xbox live using my wireless laptop. i'm currently using Linksys or public domain in order to acsess my internet. and i only have an ethernet cable to connect my Xbox 360 to my laptop. is there anyway i can connect my 360 to xbox live this way?

once again i am taking requests, most of you know my rules, request submission will be in PM (private messages) to me. i mainly do fat fur art and muscle furs or anything related to them. just tell me what you want and i'll decide if i wish to do it or not. thanks for watching

i feel so isolated these days, i lost the internet for a month and before i knew it i can't contact anyone. i guess thats one of the worries about net friendships is that you never know what happens to another furry in real life. i just hope my friends are okay, or that they didn't forget me.

lately i've noticed some of my online chat buddies have disapeared on me or no longer come around, so i'm looking for some new furries or people to chat, discuss, or even roleplay with. given i'm a bit of a picky person so forgive me for that much, but anyone who likes to chat about games, ideas, movies etc look me up on my ICQ account. please PM me first before i add you, i like to get to know people first since i'm a bit shy when it comes to meeting new people.

Have you ever looked at a couple and saw that they were so in love with each other it gave you this warm fuzzy feeling inside and it didn't make you feel jealousy or animosity towards them you just felt happy seeing them like that? i have, theres this newly wed couple that works where i do. Jeannie and Jason, they just got married in there twenties at the courthouse a few days ago. they wanted to have a big ceremony but because they aren't financially secure yet their gonna wait to do so. whenever i look at them i can't help but feel like their so perfect for each other. If there relationship could be described with a song it would have to be Fredrick Francious Chopin's Nocturne. it is a simple melody that has the feel of a sunday or holding hands while walking in a park on a perfect day. thats how i feel when i see them together, simply perfect.

As for myself when it comes to love i feel as though i would be to selfish to maintain a relationship with an other. That and my standards are kind of high considering I'm one to talk about standards. I don't know when i look at Jason and Jeanie i get this feeling that I want something like that too. But I guess it comes from trying to accomplish my dreams first. so it makes me wonder, is it because I'm a dreamer trying to attain his dream that keeps me from a relationship? maybe or i could be too selfish when it comes to the needs of others. i'll listen to another if their talking or i could spare a few bucks for gas if they need it. but when it comes to relationships and cash I have a tendency to get defensive around my wallet when it comes to things that are over $50 loans or anything. especially when i'm strapped for cash.

One of the dissapointing things that happened was this really cute manager at my work Mr Schnelker got contacts a few days ago in exchange for his glasses. I didn't even recognize him, you ever get used to a person who wears glasses and then changes to contacts and dosen't look the same anymore, to the point where it changes your image of them? HE WAS SO CUTE BEFORE! Now he just looks so plain, like an everybody man face. with his glasses it complimented his piercings and make him cute, now he look plain and skitish when it comes to work. but at least i got a good eye candy customer to cheer me up, incredibly hot, wore this tight long sleve shirt showing off the outline of his muscles, wish i took a picture of him.

so thats my rant on love and what not and other things. i guess overall the best you can do is learn to love yourself and find out if someone else can do the same, and in the end return the favor to them.

if anyone would like to try coloring my pics i would greatly appreciate it, i have no talent for coloring my own drawings what so ever and i don't have the patience, so if anyone would like to try please contact me. i'm sure my pics would be better with color but i can't do it.

as some of you know I am preparing for college, I'm trying to get into Full Sail College in Florida. I spent half the day looking over apartment listings in the area that area student specified apartments. plus i found out about all of the money i'm gonna have to save in order to get started for this whole new chapter in my life once the ground work is placed. i'm a bit scared and nervous, but i'm also excited for what may come.

another thing i'm working on is my pet project for my full sail college game. it's something i just thought of a week ago and i feel it could be groundbreaking in story telling, but thats my opinion. anyway i hope my preparations go well, wish me luck, plus i may think about charging for my drawings in order to pay for my first month in florida.

i'm trying to save money for application fees and college living until he federal aid living funds kick in. i'm hoping of getting to college in january, but the seat fee is $500 which i can barely save for with my life. not to mention saving a bit of money to live off of when i get there. i doubt i can charge money for my pics since my art isn't worth it really. so anyone else know a way to make quick cash?

i'm practicing coloring my latest pic but i was wondering if anyone knew of a good paint or color program, plus i'm wondering if i should use any special ink for my drawing in the first place, it comes out gray whenever i try scanning it. so any kind of pointers would really help out. thanks

i've finally made it to 100 watchers! I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible. all my watchers! my bro Rovest! Everyone who made requests for my work, i promise i'll use better paper and try to practice color techniques. thank you all for your interest in my artwork and my readers for my ideas. i promise to continue writing and will also add short stories to my repituar of requests. thank you all and i also wish to say that requests are open!

" accepts my award of a little fat furry statuette"

You like me, you really like me! XD

like the title says it nearly did, I was working on another story idea when pure inspiration hit me. I was doing research to make the story right when stumbling on a small town in Nevada lit sparks in my brain. Everything came together and I found all the materials I needed to create possibly my greatest idea for a book ever. So here is the pitch so far, please comment on it if you like, nothing is definent since this is a work in progress.

"In the northeast of Nevada is a small town called Wells. Known for it's connection to the first railroad across the country and made from it's unique history as a small town. Today Wells is made up of a population of nearly 1500 people, a town where nearly everyone knows each each, low crime rates and a model town for any person to live be either gender or race. What you would call an idilic place to live in peace. However unbeknowest to it's citizens a terrible tragedy will commence after a mysterious string of events tie everything together. Multiple murders that take place over the course of three months will be the prelude to the massecre that will befall this town wiping it forever from the map.

Our story centers on the actions of a young girl of mixed bloodlines. Half white and half copper of the Te-Moak Native American Tribe which shares the land with the people of Wells Nevada. The young girl however has been having nightmares for quite some time about her hometown. Nightmares of strange and grizzly murders commited by an unknown force behind them. And finally the hellish nightmare of a disaster that will claim her town of Wells if nothing is done. However she learns she is not alone in having these nightmares. A local young gas station owner confronts the girl one day and tells her that the nightmares she's been having are not delusions of her over-active imagination. They are memories of her previous incarnations and they are now beginning to awaken.

Armed with this knowledge the young girl and the young man must find out what is the purpose for the re-lapse of events? How long has the re-lapse continued? And if it will end with a happy ending or a bitter climax of events to come? Can they succeed? Will they Succeed? And if so, can they prevent any of the sorrow filled events that may possibly be conneced to the disaster that will befall their peaceful town of Wells Nevada?"

comments please? how was the pitch?