I need to learn to say no and stop being so naive. I let too many people into my life and let them bring down my mood when they don't deserve my time.

I feel like I'm the furthest thing from anybody's mind, like on everybody's list of priorities I'm dead last if even on the list at all.

It hurts.

I'm trying to log and it keeps bumping me off, yet firestorm says that the grid is online. Everything else on my PC is running fine so it's not an internet connectivity issue. At least, I don't think so.

A weekend with good friends, good food, and good times to get me feeling back to my old happy self. I hadn't seen them since before May and my mood has drastically changed after being surrounded by loving friends. I don't think people understand how good it makes others feel hearing them say "I've missed you so much."

Also today while I was walking outside I noticed that it was much cooler than it has been the last couple of days. Cool weather I've been waiting for you with bated breath and apple cider in hand.

Also x 2 I should be getting my new laptop by the end of this month the latest if all goes well. Hopefully a car will soon follow, then a RELIABLE full time job, and finally an apartment of my own. :)

Despite all the anxiety I've been dealing with since the beginning of the summer, I feel very positive about the future.~

It's been an irritating couple of days. Wednesday trying to get home had me quietly sobbing on public transportation. Thursday at work was stressful and I almost missed my deadline for an assignment that would have gotten me dropped from my class if I didn't submit. Friday was okay until that night when I saw some shit that rubbed me wrong and had to deal with that. Saturday, Sunday, and today I've been dealing with overwhelming, clingy, and nosey relatives.

Needless to say, I'm really happy that tomorrow I get to go back HOME home where there's privacy and Rxt Lxck and I can relax lol.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm okay, and that everything will eventually BE okay.

Because right now I feel like I'm trying to build a castle with dry sand and no water.

I'm so happy to have you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last person on my mind before I fall asleep. I've never experienced a relationship like ours, but so far its the best thing to happen to me. YOU'RE the best thing to happen to me. You're such a genuine, kind, loving, caring person that's done everything in your power to make me the happiest mouse alive. I can't ask for anything more. It wasn't the greatest anniversary, and being a city away with very little time to see each other is sometimes still hard to deal with, but even though its hard you make me feel like nothing is impossible and everything we're working towards will be more than worth it. In such little time since we celebrated our anniversary I feel so much more in love with you now than I did all our first year, and I hope that from this first year forward we'll continue to grow stronger together as we grow older together. I love you, my little rat.

*squeak*