Hello my wonderful beings of FA!

I, CuriousLoveSpider, has completed high school! (Woo hoo! Yay!) WHICH MEANS that I have much more time now to draw for myself and you guys! And while I think about what I will draw for myself, I shall see what some of you guys wish for!

(If you wish to know what my art is like for reference or something then you can just check out my gallery!)

Now, I like to be respectful and generous to those of you who don't have money, so I do have some request spots open for those people! BUT, I only have 3 spots. (So I don't over work myself ya know?)

1.
2.
3.

For those of you who have the money and wish to buy commissions, I have 4 spots open for you guys! Based on my art quality, I ask that my commissions will be a respectable 6~7 dollars (CAD) and maybe more depending on what is added.

1.
2.
3.
4.

Now you guys might be asking, "Y you have three for requests and 4 for commissions my dude?" Well I'll tell you why! I've been doing the "Online art" bismuth for about almost 3 years (maybe almost 3 and a half) and I have learned that requests are easily asked and never really filled with meaning. (Yes there are requests that I understand why you ask for them.) So I would like to stay true to myself and still accept requests from you guys, but know that I do have a bad history and sour taste in requests, so make yours count ;)

I accept PayPal ONLY and to make an order you can either make a comment on this journal (not recommended) or send me a note! When we agree on everything, I will give you my PayPal email (if doing commissions) so you can send me the money.


Hopefully all of that was informational and I hope you guys have a good day ahead of you!

I just had a sad but realistic dream last night. (Just thought I's share.)

I was on some kind of field trip with a bunch of kids and a couple of teachers, some I knew some I have no idea who they are. We were at some kind of part snowy, part Egyptian pyramid place, and part mall thing.

I can't remember the beginning but I do remember "the middle" of it. Some where down the line in my dream I come upon a "cross dresser" section of the mall part. Their I quickly imagine myself in these outfits. I don't know what happened after, but then some girls start laughing about "Where's my pyramid?" "Where's my pyramid?" Eventually when I start getting back to my schools buses, one girl I've been walking with says it for the last time, "Where's my pyramid?", and I snap and respond with (something along the lines of) "YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE MY PYRAMID IS? My pyramid is in Calgary, Alberta, Canada! And I have a mom who loves me and I love her! I also have two cats. So there you go! THERES WHERE MY PYRAMID IS!" She just walks away and laughs, and I lie down in the snow.

The rest of the dream isn't that important, but it is still pretty realistic to my life.

Why is this dream sad? It is sad because I don't normally fight for myself or the things I believe in. (I just usually "laugh" it off or ignore the problem. Usually works.) When I DO fight for myself, I normally don't win, or I get "shut down" because I am "too emotional." I wish to stand up for myself. I wish to fight. But all I can do is nod and be passive until I have my own place, live under my own atmosphere, and people start to respect me outside of the Internet.

I love you guys. Even though I might not know who is 100% real or not, you guys still show me respect (mostly) and you appreciate what I do and what I believe in. I think that's why people would rather live online rather than the "real world."

Hello Friends!

You guys are doing well? I hope so. I've got a, request, for all of you guys.

You see, I'm planing on getting a Kigumuri Mask (Example: https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1A84d.....pg_640x640.jpg ) of some kind, but I got three problems.

1. I do not know what the best place to get one is. I have some websites, but nothing definitive yet.

2. I don't know which one to get. I have some ideas, and I did my research, suggesting a basic mask with shorter hair, but I still don't have anything definitive.

3. IT COSTS TOO DAMN MUCH! I've found ONE mask that costs, like, 30 or so US dollars, but it is not what I want, and it comes from a, untrustworthy website. Some of the lowest masks that I have seen were 580-600 US dollars! That doesn't add the fact that I live in Canada.

SO! Here's why I made this journal, if you guys want to support me, PLEASE donate some money to me. If you won't donate, then if you could, could you suggest someone that could help?

I won't force you guys to do anything you don't want to. I just know that if I were to get it, I wouldn't just not have the money, but I also wouldn't have the time to get the money either. I am currently jobless and I'll soon be getting into university. Trying to find a job as a 18 year old male who has no job experience is very very very difficult for me right now.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading this. That helps me out at least.

Hello my (currently 17) wonderful watchers! (and whoever might stumble upon this journal *Wink* )

Yes, I have been silent for a while! (That'd be an understatement.) Yes, this journal is too many months too late.

BUT! BUT, BUt, But, but. I have returned with news of myself and I shall do! (Sounds greedy I know but roll with it.)

I am switching up my art style! OOOOOOOORRRRR more specifically I'm switching to another style of art I do. Yes it'll be bondage art, but it will be CARTOON bondage art! (Featuring some more "realistic" art.) NOW, you might ask, why am I doing "CARTOON BONDAGE" and don't I already do tha- SH SH SH SH SH quiet....! your crys shall be answered my young grasshopper. To answer the questions, 1. No, I KINda don't do the level of CARTOON as this new thing is going to be. (Think of the ASDF movie but with sexy ladies and sexy dudes and sexy bondage. You get it.) 2. Why am I doing it? Because I have taken the look over my two years or so (almost 3) of looking at bondage art and I have noticed 3 things. Artists do well when their art style is more realistic, is digitally made, and they ONLY MAKE ART (usually) for money. (Not just for the hell of it.)

So I'll be doing the opposite of those 3 things. (ish)

Now, ONTO THE COMMISSION THING!!!!

?????WHAT THE BIZ-NAZ ARE I TALKING ABOOT WHEN I TALKS THE COMMISIONS AND SUCH?????

I'm glad you asked! WELL you see, I have recently opened up a PAYPAL account. (mainly for the Xbox store. I bought the game A HAT IN TIME and I'm lovely every bit of it!)

BUT, I figured "y'all them popular art-eest like to sell them art so why not myself?" So I'm doing exactly that, (with a generous twist.)

Yes that's right! WHENEVER WHEREVER I HAVE COMMISSIONS OPEN, YOU, yes YOU can send me a private message here on FA and if I like what you are paying, I will gladly let you borrow my PAYPAL account so YOU may send me a lovely gift. OR, if you don't want a commission and just wanna give a little ol gift for little ol me, then you may send a message on FA, you say why you wish to donate, I'll try to fight you on why you SHOULDN'T give me the gift, an if you can convince me to accept the gift, then I shall my PAYPAL account email.

BUUUUUUUUUUUÜUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!!, What if you were/are like me and you can't afford a commission, then you may ask for a REQUEST! Yep those are still around! BUT! I got one rule for ya, when you send a request, I'm the ultimate judge on if I accept this request or not, and just like sex, if I say no, it means nob! (I mean no!)

I'm going to take some time to think about what I need to do with myself and my future.

In order to do so, I'll be avoiding ALL online chatting and social networks.





So, I will see you guys in the future.

I have been told my cousin died. I'd rather not talk about it. All I will say is that I feel depressed because I want to feel bad about this but I didn't have much of a relationship with him to feel sorry enough.









Outside of that, I have been working on the last request, and after that I will be making something some of you people might like.

Also, I am kinda happier because of getting (somewhat) closer to feeling female. Thanks to the two dresses I got.




So that's me. I'm open to talk, I really like to chat with people (not irl but you get my point XP )

Hello to people who are couples or who are alone (such as myself)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

That's all

I watch twice the amount of people who watch me

Watch (26) Watched by (13)

I would like a better profile pic for FA then I currently have






















Just saying

I'm still working on one last request, so there's that.

But I was thinking of 2 (what I think are) important things:

1. CHANGING THE DESIGN OF MY LOVE SPIDER.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my current design, I think it's unique and defiantly has a place in my heart for being the first design, but I don't think that it's a good representation of what a TRANSGENDER persons body looks like. So whatever design I come up with in the future, I'm going to have to think of what that body type looks like.

2. GETTING INPUT FROM YOU GUYS:
I know I don't have many people following me. (13 to be exact.) But I feel like my art, of not a request, should be something that benefits both myself that the people who watch me. So I would like to know what you guys are interested in. What's your favourite situations? What characters/animals/creatures do you like or not like? Just any idea that you've been holding in your mind storage I would like to hear and I'll most likely do (Within reason.)

I'm guessing that most people who are the internet, (and especially a place like this with stuff like bondage,) are people who are often anxious socially. Don't worry I am to. How do you think I'm somewhat confident here? But hearing what you have to say is very important. I believe that anybody's voice matters, be it an election, or a sexual blog!

If nobody wants to hear what you have to say, then I do!


Now, personal problems of CLS (That's CuriousLoveSpider if you didn't realize.)

I am having a tough time gaining the courage to speak up for myself to my parents. My dad is pretty simple I have to say. I haven't lived with him long enough to give the same TON of respect compared to my mom, but that doesn't mean that I don't love/respect my dad. Now my mom is the problem. I love her, respect her, and value her thoughts and actions, but I know growing up that way I haven't been thinking for myself all that much. (Makes sense I why I feel like i'm a sub and not a dom :P ) I'm afraid to say anything to her or ask anything because I don't want to seem rude or disrespectful, and I have done stuff like that in the past and it never went well. I was either turned down or I was told some important things, (that I trust and believe,) but it never answered or solved my personal feelings. But, the things I wish to do I can't do by myself. I don't have the money, social skills, or time to do them. This "things" that I would like to do are transitioning from male to female, get a latex suit of my spider, have things to do self bondage or whatever with, a Nintendo Switch, make stickers, draw digitally, and expand this CuriousLoveSpider account to become better. The only thing I've done that my mom has turned down, fuelling my thoughts and problems, was saying I am trans. When I told her this she said "Are you sure?" and "I don't think you are feminine." as well as "You're fine as who you are." Now, this is the very same person who has told me forever that "You can be whoever you wish to be." I felt so heart broken and betrayed. But, thanks to who I am and what I value, out of respect I've listened. That was 3 to 4 years ago. I look at these WONDERFUL and LOVELY and TALENTED artists who have gone through or are going through their transition, AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT AND I'M JEALOUS AND I HATE MY LIFE AND WHO I AM!

Some my wonder, "why am I telling you guys this?" I'm telling you this because what happens in my outside FA life, also effects my FA life. Some people don't realize the connection.

Well, have a good day.

I know I said I'm doing that comic for  Tydrian , but I couldn't help myself.

Please, ask for Requests please. I would like to draw you guys with my character.

I know I could just draw my character, but where's the fun in being alone!

Here's what you guys can ask for:

1. ABDL (nothing gross though)
2. Bondage
3. Fun

As always, all genders of OCs are acceptable!










Note to  Tydrian (cough cough Why don't you ask for a request nudge nudge)

Hello there my friends and random people!

I have opened up my REQUESTS again!

Here's what you guys can ask for:
1. Bondage (Guys or Gals)
2. ABDL (Guys or Gals. No stuff related to pee or poo.) (I hate having to write that down.)
3. Latex (With or without bondage)
4. Vore (Not recommended but ok)

There will be three slots. To get in these slots, you will need to comment a number between 1-6, because I will use a dice to determine who will be picked. (Sort of like a rather when you think of it.)

To request something, just send me a note!

I'll be seeing you guys later then. While I wait, I have a comic for  Tydrian to make :)

Happy new year to all of y'all!

Let me start off by stating some things I will be doing for myself, some "New Year resolutions" you might say.

Resolutions:

1. Now that I am 18, I will try my best to push myself to becoming who I believe I am, a female.

2. I will try to draw more female body types since last pics have been mostly dudes. (But I'm totally fine with drawing guys )

3. Now that I am 18, I will try my best to share the REAL me then fake myself because of my "age restriction."

And lastly 4. Learn how to draw digitally so I may make my art better!


I will start half of one of my New Years resolutions right here!
- I'm a hairy ass guy and I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE IT!
- On the internet I'm quite extrovert and outgoing, but I believe that that's because the internet is a "safety blanket" for me. In real life I can be really really really introvert and awkward.
- ...and lastly, I'm still living with my parents and I tend to listen to their rules the majority of the time so my life feels restrictive and boring.

Hope that wasn't too much for you guys and have a wonderful [insert time here] !

Happy birthday to myself.


Hope you guys are having a good day on my birthday, because I'm feeling tired.

3 more days until I turn 18.



I don't feel as excited as I probably should be :(

Net neutrality is confusing.

My birthday is coming up soon but I gotta go through school first.

No Love Spider art yet.

I don't have a job.

I'm still a male.


(List of things I'm sad about.)

From now until it happens, I shall be doing a little countdown for my BIRTHDAY!

So, today's count is:


6 days




IT'S COMING!

From now until it happens, I shall be doing a little countdown for my BIRTHDAY!

So, today's count is:

14 days




I almost forgot this journal XD

From now until it happens, I shall be doing a little countdown for my BIRTHDAY!

So, today's count is:

15 days



I totally forgot to do yesterday's journal :(

From now until it happens, I shall be doing a little countdown for my BIRTHDAY!

So, today's count is:

17 days

I you guys don't like my Love Soider being trans, I could make her just plain female then.

Also, would you guys be intereste if I did an "ask my OC" thing?

If I posted a ref sheet of my Love Spider OC, would you guys make art of her?

Btw, I'll try to be doing more female art now.

So...

What's next to draw guys?