Going to move some older stuff to scraps, and some out of date stuff will be deleted in order to then be updated with new information. I'm getting ready to embark on a big worldbuilding project in the new year, and I want to start getting things ready in the meantime. So just in case something slips through the cracks, save your favorites of mine!

Karro when he's left alone at  Trevhart~ 's tower :3
https://youtu.be/rhpkt5QhUNY

On the eve of my 27th birthday, I find myself thinking on something that's been on my mind a lot over the past few months, and what led to the creation of my new bat, Karro.

Now: This is not me calling anyone's artistic direction out in any capacity! Everyone is entitled to what they choose to do. This is really just scraps of thought I'm gluing together into something that's been on my mind for the sake of discussion.
And on another note... I'm only 27. I'm still definitely a youngster myself compared to some of my friends, x3
So again, just take this as an opinionated ramble. Not some soapbox I'm trying to preach from.

That being... the fandom is incredibly biased towards more youthful looks.

Now, that's where I started out when I joined the fandom. I got my first OC, the original all grey Reuben and Ruby Telokey, right as I turned 18. I wanted them to look young and youthful because... well, that's where I was at the time!

But time marches on. And despite my many attempts to redesign the character over the years, the detachment I felt was very palpable. The character was an idealized 18 year old me, and try as I might I couldn't really get that little kernel out of the character.

Then I made Louness with the intent of being a character I can relate with more. Her timeless nature really sat well with me! Just this... big dork of a dragoness that's very much meant to invoke the air of an older, more mature woman. The little freckles of scales under her eyes were essential to me in that respect. Without them, she looked a little too perfect.

Still, it set a nice precedent for me! Sort of... thinking ahead with character design! Making a persona I can connect with still even as I get older. ^^

But then I got to making Karro...
And I must say, I was not prepared for the pushback I got. XD

I wanted to move away from the young and youthful look that Reuben and Ruby had with Karro. I wanted him to have a scruffier look. Less idealized a body. I wanted to shoot for a mid to late 30s look for him.

Through the iterations of the character though, as I was sharing the WIPs, I got an odd amount of negative feedback to the angle.

Granted: That doesn't matter as much to me as it used to.
I let popular demand dictate Louness’s first design, and I was unhappy with it. I still share the older design around sometimes when talking about the design process, where she did look more thin and youthful, and I still get the occasional reaction from some people who ask why I didn't just go with her first design. And it's just because I didn't want Louness to be just a young, hot dragoness. I wanted her to be imperfect. But I digress,

I didn't want Karro to be designed by popular demand. I first looked at Stolas from Helluva Boss as a point of reference for the first iteration, but for the second and third iterations, I looked at Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom's Rauru.

The latter two iterations are where I started getting a lot of pushback. Just a lot of "well don't make him look too old", "I think he'd look better without the facial fur", and the very conflicting "I liked your other bat more",

It was during this time I was on the hunt for a lot of refs to help facilitate the design phase. And it was hard finding, like... "aged" character designs. Seeing how people drew anthros to indicate age. There just isn't a lot of that around.

Don't get me wrong it's absolutely there. But in the circles I tend to hang in, it's so hard trying to find an artist willing to actually show that age on a character!

I guess all this came to a head with a dear friend of mine fretting about how old he's getting lately, despite being the same age as me.

And... I get it.
Getting older in this fandom does feel a bit like an... unwelcome action to the overall aesthetics of the fandom at large. But then, I don't think that's really exclusive to furries. It's practically everywhere. In my research for my essay I got y'alls help with a while back, so many young people think that their lives are over after their mid twenties. Heck, I bought into that myself for a while! Told myself if I hadn't made something of myself by age 22, then I should just... give up.

But I haven't given up! Tomorrow, I turn 27, and I'm still planning to keep going!

I guess that's why I'm taking this desire to age up my characters so seriously. It makes me giddy as all heck to see my body type reflected in anthro designs, and now, it makes me just as happy seeing folks who aren't afraid to portray themselves with, like... older looking characters.

I guess the advice I want to leave folks with is: don't be afraid about getting older. It's so easy to look at the numbers between where you are and where it might end. It's so easy to worry about losing a lot of the youthful charm you've prided yourself on (like my own athleticism), and wondering what you'll have left,

But you all are worth so much more than that! We all age, and that's okay. And I'm looking forward to what life has in store for me for the years ahead. For better or worse, I know I'll be okay.

Thank y'all for reading! God Bless,

Note: It's worth noting, this journal is not directed at the fandom/culture at large and their views of age! I get it!
This was more spurred by the strange reactions I've gotten from folks over my own decisions/coping mechanisms to accept my own aging x3

Thank you everyone who helped me out with the poll yesterday! The assignment is now done, and I'm confident in a good grade. :D

Hellooooo everyone! Hope you're having a good Sunday today ^^
I'm currently finishing up my last school project for the semester, and I'm realizing I don't have quite enough data for the conclusion,
So I was wondering if anyone would be willing to take this poll? It's only ten questions, and it's to poll for whether or not the internet helps to give people who are socially awkward a positive social experience. ^^
https://forms.gle/wretRePAHq3KYCQD8
Don't worry, it's anonymous and I don't collect emails, names, or any other personal info.

Thank you so much for your time! <3

With Karro now out and about, I like to properly introduce my characters to my audience with an "ask me anything" journal done in character. ^.^
So by all means! Ask anything you want of good ol' Karro Telokey. :D

Well after a valiant fight this week against the mood,  Azelia just smashed down whatever barricades I had up trying to keep the sneks at bay. =w=
And so, here I am.

Snakes.
I guess the best place to start is what they represent for me. In the same vein as machines, there's an almost... vain inevitability to them. You can struggle and beg and try to bargain, but none of that will matter. You're caught in their coils, and whatever they have planned for you is going to happen. Yes, vore as a fate is a fun thing for me. >/////>
It's why more and more of my OCs are starting to have "Game Over" mechanics built into them. So they can come back from that sort of thing without the trauma of remembering or the risk of getting desensitized to it. But I digress.

Being slowly crushed in thick, muscular coils as the serpent's maw looms over me...
Just... heck @////@

Of course vore is a very small part of it for me. The coils themselves are the main draw. Being snatched up by some snake who gleefully declares me their "coil pet",
Being rolled about in, completely encased by, or just massaged all over by smooth scaled snake coils. I look at Kaa (I mean let's be real, who doesn't) as an example of just how dexterous coils can get. And I love a snake that's seemingly just got endless lengths of coils at their disposal. Just when you think you've untangled yourself from the worst of it, you find yourself stumbling headlong into another waiting coil bed, quickly wrapping you snug and safe.

Hypnosis is also a big thing. Now I don't like the idea of it being a very longterm thing. I like the idea of the hypnosis lasting just long enough to get the job done. Like being hypnotized into dazily walking right into a waiting snakey hug, only snapping out of it seconds before I'm yoinked up into the tree/cave/etc. they live in. Or it being used to keep me in line/on edge around them, unsure that if I let myself fall under this time where I'll have ended up when it wears off.

There's just something so primal about being the chosen prey of a snake. And whether they're a feral one just looking for a meal or an intelligent one who plans to have ALL the fun with me, being wrapped up nice and snug and helpless in coils is easily a favorite predicament of mine. Especially when it's with another friend...
And especially when the only thing functioning as our clothing are the snake coils.

Snuggles the Floofox responsible for this mood.

That's my ramble done with. For now anyways. Might add onto it if more thought comes to mind. Let me know how y'all feel about em!

Hello there, friends and watchers alike! Welcome to Kosmic Kinks! The journal series where I ramble on all the various kinks and fetishes I have that fluster me immensely. =//w//=

To start this series off, I figured I'd start with a kink that's near and dear to my heart.
The Knit-O-Matic from Wallace and Gromit.
DON'T LAUGH
Let me explain!

So. As it were, I have a big thing for large, scary machinery.

And there is one machine out of all of them that is truly one of the hottest things for me for a multitude of reasons.

This one.
https://www.ruths-study.com/movieca.....image_0119.jpg

Just this dark, looming industrial looking machine. How dark the interior of it looks. How colorless and intimidating it is.
It really is just... scary to look at if you know you're about to be put through it.
Fear plays a huge part in literally all of my kinks and this is no exception. I love the heart pumping adrenaline it gives me.

Which brings me to my next point of love for it.
I love how it's introduced.
https://youtu.be/ZJFzsmp5GQs

It's genuinely creepy. A character with no real agency in the situation brought down to this dark, ominous basement and placed into it, assured that it's perfectly safe.
The lack of any music really just lends to this buildup of the impending doom of it. >/////>

I like to imagine how I might handle the situation...
Standing there awkwardly, trying to cover up as my captor, whoever it may be, assures me that I'm just going to get a quick cleanup.

Shortly before I'm just... CRUSHED by sponges on both sides.

I love how the short portrays that. Each press just slopping soapy water over whoever is in it. Stumbling and sputtering. I especially love the mental image of every so often, the only part of me that's visible is from the waist down, legs kicking the air, >//////<

And of course, the moment of malfunction.
That blaring alarm. That MUSIC, good goddess that music. I occasionally have it running on the side when... *appreciating* peril art and just heck. It's so freaking good. @////////@
Don't get me wrong I love visual stuff. But truthfully, the right audio can hit so, SO Much harder than anything. It's like a shot of super potent aprhodisiac. >//////////<'

The sponges still running even as the alarms blare. That looming tube slowly lowering down. Having maybe only a few seconds to register it before I'm sucked right up, my chubby body maybe having a few moments of being stuck before the tube bulges with my body as I'm sucked up and away,

Now as much as I love the sponge bath part, the dryer part of the machine is arguably my favorite part of it. Why? Several reasons,

It's the point of no return. Maybe I had a chance to scramble out of the tub during the washing. Maybe I could have gripped the sides of the tube to save myself from being sucked up. Whatever the case, once I've been sucked up, there's no chance of escape now. Which is such a big thing for me. Maybe having a chance before without realizing it at escape, except now, once I've been sucked up? That's out the window, and I'm at the mercy of whatever comes next.

I love how... comical it looks for an observer. Just this nude rear and feet visible from below as my feet are blasted up into the air by the force of the dryer.

It's comical to look at for an observer, but I can only imagine how terrifying it would be for the victim. This juxtaposition is just so WONDERFULLY humiliating to imagine.

And then... the shaving chamber.
Honestly, this part can be swapped out for literally anything. The fun of it for me is having no idea what's happening in there until the end, when the victim is shoved out the ejection port by a padded piston. Exposed to the captor(s) so they can take in the results, whatever they may be.
This part did give me a shaving kink, yes. But in a few attempts at writing this in the past, I've swapped it out for a sort of mummification machine, slave dresser, and other stuff.

But the best part of the fantasy for me?

Imagining myself as just being one of several slave girls in it. All of us nude as we're squished over and over, our bodies pressing together and making escape more difficult for everyone,

Hello hello!
So I think it's finally time to better organize my various projects and clear up some confusion regarding a lot of OCs of mine and their development over time.
So without further ado, my ongoing projects in development.

Silver Linings
Focused on the FA profile  silver-linings-telokey
My main writing project, Silver Linings is a story driven sci fi universe with a focus on character driven plots. While kinky and fetish stuff does exist and can happen in this universe, it is not the focus.  Reysilverskin ,  drpossibly ,  Voncloud and  supercomputer276 are actively helping in developing content for the universe, with other friends being a part of it as characters. This is the universe that the characters Leywa and Ruby Telokey, and Virgil Amatsu are currently at home in. This project is currently on hold while I do some retooling behind the scenes with peeps.

Toybox
So named because of the inspiration behind it being from old 80s cartoons like G I Joe and He-Man, the Toybox universe is a fantasy multiverse with looser plotlines. More of my "noise album" for writing, it's for taking an easier, looser approach to writing character driven plots, with a focus on kinky predicaments. This is the universe Louness is at home in, being one of many individuals present in it. Alternate universe versions of Leywa Telokey, Ruby Telokey, and Virgil Amatsu are slated to appear in this, though the extent of differences on display with them is still a work in progress. This universe is also where many OC concepts will reside, with the idea behind them being making interesting "action figure" characters. The multiversal nature is meant to work alongside other friends universes, such as  snowleandre's devils hand universe, which the two of us have already discussed bringing into it.

Modernverse
An early in development project, the idea behind this universe is simple. A more grounded universe set in a modern day urban sprawl, where characters with more fantastical elements live more average lives. For example, Louness owning a coffee shop/bookstore with none of her powers of regeneration or world traveling. I also have an idea for a trio of "Hardy Boy/Nancy Drew" style wolf sisters that solve crime together. It's all very early in development though, and it's not to say magic or other fantastical elements are wholly nonexistent. Just treated with the same levels of skepticism as people do in our world.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Universe
A current rough WIP, this universe is a home for anthro Pokemon characters with a balance of story and kink exploration. More information will be updated here in the future.

Starfox AU
A current rough WIP, this universe is exploring an expanded fancanon for the Starfox series of games with original characters and licensed characters. Details are still being worked out, and will be updated here when the time comes.

Good day, everyone!
2022 was a year of buildup for me to be certain. I feel as if I've grown immensely as a person. Destroyed a great many old habits, and am working on building new ones. I feel hopeful in a way I haven't felt in a long time, and I truly owe it to many good friends who have been there for me with patience and understanding.

The year got off to a rocky start, but it was a start I needed to go through to be sure.
Some of you may have noticed some odd behavior from my end as of late. I figured this would be a good moment to just... throw things out there. Share my personal experiences, and how different I may seem going forward.

My Relationship with the Fandom

My time with the furry community started on Deviantart as an RP account. I posted a few RP starters, met a few good friends, and enjoyed a smaller, simpler presence for a while.
But I very quickly became addicted to fame. The excitement of being seen, of hearing from people how much they liked my characters, and of course, being teased for my kinks. It was addicting, and it became a constant crave for me. So much so, that I was always craving more. I jumped into a lot of servers throughout the years on Discord, tried reaching out to make new friends, just to have... a vaster quantity of that sensation at the ready for myself. And I loved it.
While this new profile was made with the intent to better organize my more serious, story driven projects and my more kink based indulgent stuff, the character of Louness was born from this desire for attention. I do not regret making the character, no. But she was born out of a desire for attention. To have a face for the profile people would enjoy. Now, don't get me wrong! Wanting others to enjoy your stuff is as natural as it comes! But as many of my friends know, the original iteration of her was made to please others first and foremost. I've since touched up her design to be more in line with my own desires, but the character still existed as a means of being more of a people pleaser.
Now. Louness is not going anywhere. But I am going to be doing a bit of work on how she behaves. Truly make her a more calm and gentle character, rather than someone that offers a satisfying reaction to being subjected to teasing and other fetish scenarios.

Connections with Others
I'm unsure how well it comes across to many who only observe me, as opposed to those who actually know me, but I am very much an introvert.
But I am also a people pleaser. Making others happy has always made me happy. Helping others out is something I have always sought to do.
Yet there are moments when it's done for the satisfaction of my own ego. I wanted to be "the friend" to some people without considering there may be a reason they never had someone like that before. No, this is not directed at anyone currently in my life. This is directed at the people who I have since cut ties with, who could only take and take. And when I had nothing left, I took it as a personal failure on my part. Because I had so badly wanted to be their "savior", to be melodramatic.

But this wasn't limited to just these people so down in the dumps.
This has been how I've handled things with many friends. Related to my previous point, I would try and form a meaningful connection without realizing how strained I am from all directions.
I was chasing quantity of relationships instead of quality. Caring more about prospective new friendships and neglecting the old ones I'd formed. I have let some old ones fizzle out simply because I had changed as a person so much, but there are others that do mean a lot to me that I realize now I haven't put my actions where my mouth is. I can write an essay trying to tell someone how much they mean, but it doesn't mean much if I immediately turn away to chase my next new friend.
I need to pull back in a little. I'm stretched far too thin. I'm so desperate for attention that I'm entertaining any that anyone throws at me. When the reality is, I have friends I know and trust and have known far beyond the superficial level of my characters and my kinks. Shared interests and games and a desire to discuss ideas that doesn't feel like it's forced.

Unfulfilled Promises

I am a writer. Originally an RPer. And since I first started in the fandom, I'd learned very quickly that no one likes a small talker. And more than that, people generally mean business.
So I always felt I had to justify my presence to others. Offer something of mine up in exchange for being given the time of day by someone I saw so far above myself.

I would promise a story, or some other form of writing, as a means of letting someone know I was useful and trying to show I was worth being friends with. It happened a long time ago with the contest I entered. It happened numerous times since. I never considered for a moment I was liked for who I was, writing or not.

I have overpromised. Promised more than I could deliver. And in doing so, made people feel uncared for. Good, longstanding friends. I burned myself out trying and struggling to stay "relevant" in the eyes of others. Jumping into many discord servers, more than I could realistically interact in, promising my only talent in exchange for friendship.

So what have I learned?

I have learned to appreciate myself as I am. Learned that the real friends will understand if I don't respond right away. And that I don't need to get them anything to have their friendship. That I have value as I am, and I can find more happiness in that than in the quantity of "attention" I get from frequenting large kink servers.

Thank you for reading my rambling. Whether it makes sense or not, I personally don't mind. I just needed to put this down somewhere.
I may be harder to reach, and I may decide I simply don't want to talk right now. But I do not owe an apology for my limitations. The internet isn't my life, and I have things to tend to outside of it.

I apologize for the many free writings I've promised others. They've piled up too much for me to realistically handle now, and they've been an oppressive force hanging over me for a long time now, as the fear of losing the acceptance of others affected me. But not anymore. I have people that love, accept, and forgive me on here, and I don't need to chase more and try to force anything. If it happens, it happens, but if it doesn't, then I hope you can accept that.

Thank you for listening to my rambling. In spite of the dreariness of this journal, I am in good spirits! I have a greater sense of self respect for myself, and a greater appreciation for the people I see as friends that I've come to confide in and share in discussions of hobbies that go beyond kinks.

I hope you all have a wonderful year! God bless <3

Hello hello, lovely friends.
It's been a while since I did one of these, hasn't it? Well, before the end of the year draws around, I just wanted to touch base.

This year was certainly a strange one, and while I still am working on re-finding a consistent work pace for myself and my writing, I have found a new measure to take in that search. And that is, I have begun devoting one day a week to logging off Discord and focusing purely on finding my own fun for the day. I hadn't realized just how much time I spent sitting in a voice chat discussing things or watching a stream, and how much it was making me wish I could just keep doing that. It wasn't healthy for me. So I've begun taking days off, and goddess above have they been productive. I can't remember the last time I managed to levy so much focus into a single activity for so long. It's helped me find a good work pace again, and I shall continue to do this for the forseeable future!

And speaking of writing... I have some exciting news to share...
So you all are more than likely familiar with my sci fi universe,  silver-linings-telokey
While it hasn't been updated over on the actual profile in a while, with the help of people like  diceworks10 ,  drpossibly ,  voncloud ,  strife3025 ,  supercomputer276 ,  reysilverskin , and more, I have begun to truly flesh out the world and work on things.  deviantstyle even has a character slated to make their debut in Silver Linings soon that I am very excited about.
I am currently working on a longer story for the universe that will honestly be more like a novellette than anything, and while it may take a while to complete, I am confident the results will be more than worth it.

But... that's not all I'm working on.

Silver Linings is my more story driven passion project of my love of sci fi. But something else I have always enjoyed are the cheesy toyline cartoons of the 80s. Stuff like the original G I Joe cartoon, which were CLEARLY only made to sell toys. Well... my new project is something like that! A very loosely story driven, very laid back writing project I am currently calling the Toybox verse.

The idea behind it is that it's just a universe where I can have fun without worrying too heavily about things and can just have fun. :D
 drpossibly  diceworks10 and  snowleandre have already been an immense help in initial conception, and things will only get better from there!

The basic premise is simple enough. Heroes from around the multiverse chosen by an angelic wolf to do good do battle with villains from across the multiverse chosen by a devil of hell to spread chaos and destruction.

It is not subtle at all in who is good and who is bad.
The whole thing will very much be written to sort of "sell" these characters, their gadgets, their situations, etc. It's something a toy collector like myself can just have fun with! And I hope you'll enjoy it too.

Louness herself will also be involved, albeit in a more limited sense. She is quite OP when you really get down to it.
I'll have more information once I actually write the primer for it. Thank you for reading! And may you have a happy new year. ^.^

I now have a Pillowfort account. ^.^
It's nothing special right now, but I am always fond of jumping onboard new thriving social sites. <3
https://www.pillowfort.social/Cosmic-Library

Just putting my feelers out there, so to speak. ^^
Just curious if there are any artists out there with any experience designing battle maps for D&D, or perhaps designing a floorplan for a party's ship.

This is something that has been on my mind for a while now. A dear friend of mine went through an experience a while back that left them drained and unmotivated because they had been asked not to distribute art they created and instead let the commissioner sell access to the work for profit.

Thankfully, they realized that they did deserve more payment for giving up distribution rights to their art so someone else could make money off it, and got themselves what they felt they were owed.

But then I came to find out this is not a one time thing.
So I felt a calling to spread the following message to artists new and old about this fact;

YOU CONTROL THE RIGHTS TO YOUR DISTRIBUTION OF WORK

When you create something, you have the right to distribute it how you see fit. Whether that's through a publishing company or simply posting online, the right to distribute it to people is yours. As a community, it's inherently recognized that it is not right for someone to just take your work and post it on their own page without granted permission.

Now, I am of course not talking about art theft. Whether it's done maliciously or not though, you should not give up your right to distribute UNLESS it's worked out with the commissioner first. Private commissions are one such example.

Some people are rather shy about their interests. I've done some private story commissions for others in the past, and I didn't charge anything extra for the private aspect because the distribution was directly to the customer. They weren't going to repost it anywhere, so I had no trouble doing it.

But if this person wanted to, say, include my story in some sort of online subscription based fandom magazine, and asked me not to post it into my gallery, and I would see no money from subscribers for my service, then what I would do is charge a fee to sell my right-to-distribute.

You do not owe a commissioner your right to distribute. I actually did some reading, and what one should be charging for right to distribute can be anything from 40% of the price of the commission to 80%. But these are just the average. You, as a creator, can sell your right to post your work for whatever you feel it's worth. ESPECIALLY if it's a commissioner's intent to profit from your work.

Now. I am writing this not as some sort of callout against any individual. I am writing this because I want artists to recognize the value of their work and that it extends beyond just the finished piece. And that they shouldn't simply give up the right to post content that can only help their page grow to a commissioner for free just because they ask. Yes, you might lose a commissioner by rejecting their asking, but if their business model relies on getting artists to give up their right to distribute without compensating them, and then selling their work for profit, then it's not one I want to support, and I hope you artists out there recognize it's not one you have to support.

Now. I'm not going to be self focused enough to ask you all to link this specific journal around. But this issue needs to be talked about.
So my call to you all is to do that. Talk about it! Make your own posts about it. Share your own experiences. Help the community recognize the value their content has, and that they shouldn't give up their right to share it to someone else just because they're asked to.

My good friend,  dr.sezieren , is in a small amount of financial trouble right now. He doesn't need much, only $200, and he's asking for donations to help himself out.
He can only receive money through Boosty given the situation with his country.
https://boosty.to/docborb/about

Even just a small amount will help him out. ^^

Hello friends.
As I prepare to continue my education, and will thus be harder to reach than usual, I think it's high time I address a subject that's been on my mind lately.
Namely, that of communication with me on Discord.

Now. I will preface this by saying it's not directed at anyone in particular. This has been something that's been going on for a while now and I really owe it to myself.
But I am just one person.

I am active in maybe two or three Discord servers, because I find group settings easier to be social in than DMs. Because I cannot juggle all the DMs I get. I do try and be friendly and personable to people, friends and acquaintances alike, but lately I've had to set myself to DND to process some things going on in my personal life, and even then I'm getting messages. And more than that, I'm getting frustrated messages from some people who seem upset I am not talking to them very much.

I am sorry for that, but I realistically cannot keep up with everyone. I am sorry but that's the reality of the situation. Now I'm not saying don't message me anymore. And I am not saying I'll just ignore people either. I just... need some patience. I try my best to offer the same to my friends.

To make things more concise, I will respond to people when I am able to handle one on one conversation. That is it.

If it helps, here's a handy key to my Discord statuses.

Invisible: I am likely around and will respond when I'm able
Green: I am currently around for the forseeable future and looking to chat with folks
Red: I am overwhelmed and will handle DMs at my own pace, which yes, may sometimes include ignoring some.

That is all. Thank you for reading.

Hello friends. I hope the start of this new month is already off to a good start for you all. ^w^
I've had a lot to think about this past month myself.

If you missed my previous journal, I'm very much going to be taking a break from art. Maybe one piece per month at this point, as I need to focus on securing my future career and building up my finances.

But I also don't want to commodify my hobby of writing any more than I have to. I'll take commissions when I need to, as I have recently to help recover from some financial mistakes, but it's all but killed my passion for writing. Having an obligation to write makes it so much harder for me to enjoy it. And so regarding my Patreon... I will likely just keep it as a tip jar.
I can't keep up with providing the monthly fan story at this point, and for that I apologize. But I need to focus on getting my degree.
So after I finish my current queue, odds are I will not open again for the forseeable future.

But now onto something cheerier!

I am retiring my sona, Louna Telokey!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47920731/

Yes, I did say cheerier. Let me explain.

NO, I am NOT retiring the character. I am far too attached to him, and he is an integral part of my sci fi universe.
But in case you didn't notice... his personality is all over the place in his character writeup.
That's because I was still projecting onto him as my persona.

Louness isn't so much my persona as she is the public face of my profile here. She's distinct enough as her own character, and I don't really try and project myself onto her as far as portraying that goes.
But Louna Telokey the bat is my oldest character, and I've used him as a persona for myself for years now. But, I've come to realize that is holding him back from developing as a character. I'm constantly trying to make him like me, or make him distinct as his own character. So, I've decided that it's finally time to retire him as a persona.

And more than that... I've realized I don't want, nor even need, a fursona. I don't need a character that's like me. Because I already spend most of the time as myself.
I'd rather have a character I can play as online, however different they are from me, then have a character forever tied to my identity.

So yes. I guess to clarify
I now longer identify with any character as a persona/fursona. But I do have plenty of characters I enjoy playing as, and I no longer want them to be held back by trying to make them like me.

That's about everything. Thank you all for listening. ^^

Hello friends! I hope you are all faring well in this heat.

Me? I'm a magical dragoness! I can take it. :3

... please ignore the steam rising from my body.

But yes. To cut right to the chase of this, and following up from my now deleted character sale journal, I'm pleased to announce that through the generosity of some truly wonderful people, I'm financially stable again.

I still have some owed commissions to finish, and you'd best believe I am going to work my hardest on them, but I am somewhat stable again at last.

But now that I've had a moment to breathe, I've had a chance to reflect on what got me in that situation of desperation...

Yes. The unexpected bills and family emergencies all hitting at once were the culprit. But I didn't help myself as much as I should have.

I was clinging onto my addiction for art commissions all through that. I took out my own safety net by throwing myself at a source of comfort.

I've become so attached to being able to just... get art on demand. Be it Patreon rewards or booping a friend. Not even thinking about it. Working out how to pay myself back for it. And the next thing I know, I've gotten several small things that have all added up.

Well... I've come to realize this approach does not make me happy anymore.
The artists I would commission did amazing work for what I wanted. But what I wanted came from a place of fleeting interest. I'd lose my love of the art in maybe a few days, and it would go in a folder. Never getting posted.

I don't want to do this anymore. There's going to be some significant slowdown in art commissions of my characters. Practically nothing for the next few months as I rebuild my safety net, and after that, I've decided I'm going to be patient with myself. Think long and hard on if what I'm getting is going to be something I'll enjoy in the long run.

I don't want to use my friends for cheap pleasure seeking. I want to be able to buy one beautiful commission from them. Instead of several cheap ones. I want to refind my passion for commissioning.

But again. This will be a ways off. My friends have been very generous and helped me find some stability and I refuse to waste their generosity. I'm going to take a break from commissions for a while.

But when I come back?
I'm going to take things one at a time. Get beautiful art I can be happy with for a long time to come! And do it in a way that doesn't put my finances in danger like I have been.

In the meantime, I wish you all the best. And I thank the friends who helped me with the most sincerity I can offer. I won't waste the chance you've given me to change my habits for the better. ^^

Take care, everyone!

Hello hello watchers! I hope the month is treatin you all well, awful heat in some areas aside.

Things have been a little hectic on my end. I'm managing my financial difficulties at the very least, so I shouldn't have to worry about giving up any OCs of mine. ^^
I just also am having to delay finishing last months Patreon fan story vote, and so will have to wait until next month to make a new poll. Thank you for your patience though. <3

In the meantime, I figured I would take this time to articulate something I've spoken about elsewhere before.

That being my three personas.
See, Louness is the face of the profile here because she is what I feel is my default state of being. Calm, collected, supportive. A tad awkward.

But I have two other personas I jump between as well and it's usually based on how I'm feeling.

Some people from my previous profile may remember a Louna Telokey. A small feminine bat.
He is another sona I enjoy portraying myself as still. I tend to lean into him when I'm feeling especially anxious or stressed.
Why?
Well... he's small. Only 4'6". It's a strange logic, but... I suppose I like to think I'm less of a burden to others if I'm smaller. And Louna is very much in use when I'm feeling needy for attention and the like. Or excitable over less than adult things. Like friggin LEGO, man.

But on the complete opposite end of the spectrum is my big strong lizard, Gale.

He's... well, what I aspire to be. Confident, friendly, strong and healthy. He's me at my best. I've not actually posted his reference on here yet, but I do plan to very soon.

Some of y'all may notice how rapidly I jump between icons on Discord at times. Well, that's because I change to match how I'm feeling.

Just an interesting tidbit I wanted to share. I hope you all have yourselves a wonderful weekend!

I'll likely be stepping back from online for a tad bit. Enough time to get things in order for myself. I've been slowly backsliding into bad headspace for a while now, and I need to take some measures before it gets too bad.

I don't like being other peoples' problems, so I'll likely be hard to reach during this time. I'll make an announcement once I'm back. Take care. <3

Iiiiiiii have decided I'mma bring Louness back down to 9 feet tall. ^-^

I really liked the idea of her being this big, 12 foot tall dragoness. But once I actually had folks showing me how big that is compared to irl stuff, and saw how hard it is to get art with friends when she's that friggin big, I realized taking her from 9 to 12 was a mistake. XD

I am... considering it. A place for folks to keep up with my writing, listen to my brainstorming, etc.
I am admittedly a bit... nervous about it. Yes it would certainly help me to grow my audience, keep in touch with friends and fans of my stuff.

But as a mod in another server, and seeing the issues that come with moderating a public Discord server and having to deal with folks who cause trouble without actually breaking any rules, it's... stressful. I'd definitely need some mods around to help. But it feels weird asking others to help with that without giving anything in return. ^~^'

So yeah, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I don't think making it a Patreon exclusive thing is the proper answer either. Am curious as to y'alls thoughts?

I was pretty busy the day of, but I just wanted to thank you all for your birthday wishes on the 20th. They meant the world to me to see, and I hope to continue to entertain for the next year of life this bat/dragoness has ahead. ^^