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One week later: Doctor Who: Smile
Posted 8 years agoOk...so, what can be said about this week's episode of Doctor Who: Smile?
It was a rehash of The Happiness Patrol, with nicer production design, and fewer screaming candy monsters.
The ending was a complete cop-out, which not only seemed irrelevant, but also failed to solve the problem.
Spoilers Follow
Ok, the basic premise is that a colony has been built on an alien world, by robots and a small support staff, for a group of colonists who are in cold-sleep.
Problem: One of the work staff died, and the robots, who had been programmed to keep the humans happy, decided to start killing off any members of the surviving workstaff who appeared unhappy about this death. The robots would eradicate unhappiness by eradicating the unhappy, then mulch their remains and use them as fertilizer in the garden. And so, the robots spent a day killing off the entire surviving workstaff one by one as they each one freaked out about all the killer robots they were suddenly surrounded by.
So, how does the Doctor fix this? He doesn't. He reboots the system to wipe the robot memories of recent events, declares that the robots are sentient lifeforms, and tells the colonists, who were now waking up, to just get along with the robots. And then he leaves, after warning the colonists to keep smiling.
So, basically, he walks away leaving an impending massacre behind him. He hasn't done anything about the robots tendency to murder anyone who isn't completely happy. He just declares victory and leaves, as if he actually did anything.
Y'know, if you're going to write your characters into a corner, and stick them into an unsolvable dilemma, you might want to think about making that a facet of the story, rather than pretending you actually wrapped the plot up nice and tidy by tacking on a half-assed excuse of an ending that ultimately, doesn't solve anything.
Everybody on that planet was probably dead thirty seconds after the TARDIS left.
But no, The Doctor's like a policeman who flies around the galaxy solving everybody's problems.
The Doctor: No, I'm Not.
The Companion: Sure you are, look at what you just accomplished! yay!
Me: oh for fuck's sake.
Next week: Victorian England.
It was a rehash of The Happiness Patrol, with nicer production design, and fewer screaming candy monsters.
The ending was a complete cop-out, which not only seemed irrelevant, but also failed to solve the problem.
Spoilers Follow
Ok, the basic premise is that a colony has been built on an alien world, by robots and a small support staff, for a group of colonists who are in cold-sleep.
Problem: One of the work staff died, and the robots, who had been programmed to keep the humans happy, decided to start killing off any members of the surviving workstaff who appeared unhappy about this death. The robots would eradicate unhappiness by eradicating the unhappy, then mulch their remains and use them as fertilizer in the garden. And so, the robots spent a day killing off the entire surviving workstaff one by one as they each one freaked out about all the killer robots they were suddenly surrounded by.
So, how does the Doctor fix this? He doesn't. He reboots the system to wipe the robot memories of recent events, declares that the robots are sentient lifeforms, and tells the colonists, who were now waking up, to just get along with the robots. And then he leaves, after warning the colonists to keep smiling.
So, basically, he walks away leaving an impending massacre behind him. He hasn't done anything about the robots tendency to murder anyone who isn't completely happy. He just declares victory and leaves, as if he actually did anything.
Y'know, if you're going to write your characters into a corner, and stick them into an unsolvable dilemma, you might want to think about making that a facet of the story, rather than pretending you actually wrapped the plot up nice and tidy by tacking on a half-assed excuse of an ending that ultimately, doesn't solve anything.
Everybody on that planet was probably dead thirty seconds after the TARDIS left.
But no, The Doctor's like a policeman who flies around the galaxy solving everybody's problems.
The Doctor: No, I'm Not.
The Companion: Sure you are, look at what you just accomplished! yay!
Me: oh for fuck's sake.
Next week: Victorian England.
A lovely birthday present
Posted 8 years agoI've just had a rather lovely birthday present.
The first episode of the new season of Doctor Who. After an entire season of chair-clawingly bad screenfiller, tonight's episode "The Pilot" was a magnificent return to form.
For the first time in a long time, everything worked.
Everything exactly the way it should have been all along, and there it was.
Let's hope they can keep this up.
The first episode of the new season of Doctor Who. After an entire season of chair-clawingly bad screenfiller, tonight's episode "The Pilot" was a magnificent return to form.
For the first time in a long time, everything worked.
Everything exactly the way it should have been all along, and there it was.
Let's hope they can keep this up.
Jesus stole my birthday
Posted 8 years agoSo, as I only found out earlier today (because I've been too busy to stop and look at a calendar) my birthday falls on Easter Sunday this year.
The one day of the year that is supposed to be all about me, and this Jesus guy horns on it like it's no big thing. It's like he thinks he's God's gift to humanity or something.
Just for that I'm muscling in on Christmas. Next December 25 is all about me. Mark it in your datebook, and remember to celebrate accordingly.
The one day of the year that is supposed to be all about me, and this Jesus guy horns on it like it's no big thing. It's like he thinks he's God's gift to humanity or something.
Just for that I'm muscling in on Christmas. Next December 25 is all about me. Mark it in your datebook, and remember to celebrate accordingly.
CYA VIA VPN
Posted 8 years agoIf you're like me, you live in The United States Of America, land of the free and home of the brave (for certain percentages of free and brave within acceptable manufacturing tolerances, offer void where prohibited.)
..and that means that at the moment, like me, you have a President who can, at best, be described in words not typically used in polite conversation. And as continued evidence that he has no business being in charge of anything, let alone an entire country's well-being, he appears to be on the verge of selling both you and I to the highest bidder. Specifically, selling our online privacy, or least what passed for it under FCC regulations:
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-39427026
Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped
Your every online activity is soon to be a commodity to be bought and sold - to be recorded somewhere, compiled into a database, and that database marked for resale to basically anybody who cares to buy a copy. Advertisers, criminals, bored nosy people, your boss... anybody.
The Bill has passed both The House and The Senate, and is headed to the Oval office, where El Grande Cheeto is expected to rubber-stamp it.
So, what can you do about it? Apart from swearing off ever voting for any of the Congressderps, who decided to allow this to happen, I mean.
Well, here's two things that I've done, and that you can do, to knock some holes in the data they are now collecting on you:
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
HTTPS EVERYWHERE: a free browser plugin from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which will cause your browser to default to the https encryption protocol, wherever available, without muss or fuss. No settings to mess with. All handled automatically. Just download, install and you're covered. If encryption is available, your traffic will be encrypted. Available for Firefox, Chrome, Opera, and Firefox for Android.
https://setupvpn.com/
SETUPVPN: If you've thought about setting up a VPN, but balked at it due to not understanding the technology or how to make it work, or due to the cost of setting one up and maintaining it, here's the answer you've been looking for. A browser plugin available for Firefox, Chrome and Opera that channels all your traffic through a free VPN service. Visit their website, install the plugin and then from inside the plugin in your browser, create an account. After the usual email confirmation business, and logging in for the first time, you will be given a single big button to press. And that's it. You're covered. The only drawback to this one that I have found so far, is that the VPN disconnects every time you close the browser. So you will need to reactivate it every time you want to hit the web, and will likely get a warning message that your browser is configured to run a service which isn't running until you re-connect. But, activating it is just a matter of opening the plugin settings, logging in and pushing the big button again - and every time you activate it, it connects through a different IP. You can also pick which country you want your VPN run through, so you can appear to be from England, or America, or wherever.
There are some paid features, but so far I haven't needed any of them, haven't really looked into what they are, and have been quite happy with the free service.
So, there you go. Fight back against The Man from the comfort of your keyboard, and at a total cost of zero dollars.
Cover Your Ass!
It's The American Way!
..and that means that at the moment, like me, you have a President who can, at best, be described in words not typically used in polite conversation. And as continued evidence that he has no business being in charge of anything, let alone an entire country's well-being, he appears to be on the verge of selling both you and I to the highest bidder. Specifically, selling our online privacy, or least what passed for it under FCC regulations:
http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-39427026
Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped
Your every online activity is soon to be a commodity to be bought and sold - to be recorded somewhere, compiled into a database, and that database marked for resale to basically anybody who cares to buy a copy. Advertisers, criminals, bored nosy people, your boss... anybody.
The Bill has passed both The House and The Senate, and is headed to the Oval office, where El Grande Cheeto is expected to rubber-stamp it.
So, what can you do about it? Apart from swearing off ever voting for any of the Congressderps, who decided to allow this to happen, I mean.
Well, here's two things that I've done, and that you can do, to knock some holes in the data they are now collecting on you:
https://www.eff.org/https-everywhere
HTTPS EVERYWHERE: a free browser plugin from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which will cause your browser to default to the https encryption protocol, wherever available, without muss or fuss. No settings to mess with. All handled automatically. Just download, install and you're covered. If encryption is available, your traffic will be encrypted. Available for Firefox, Chrome, Opera, and Firefox for Android.
https://setupvpn.com/
SETUPVPN: If you've thought about setting up a VPN, but balked at it due to not understanding the technology or how to make it work, or due to the cost of setting one up and maintaining it, here's the answer you've been looking for. A browser plugin available for Firefox, Chrome and Opera that channels all your traffic through a free VPN service. Visit their website, install the plugin and then from inside the plugin in your browser, create an account. After the usual email confirmation business, and logging in for the first time, you will be given a single big button to press. And that's it. You're covered. The only drawback to this one that I have found so far, is that the VPN disconnects every time you close the browser. So you will need to reactivate it every time you want to hit the web, and will likely get a warning message that your browser is configured to run a service which isn't running until you re-connect. But, activating it is just a matter of opening the plugin settings, logging in and pushing the big button again - and every time you activate it, it connects through a different IP. You can also pick which country you want your VPN run through, so you can appear to be from England, or America, or wherever.
There are some paid features, but so far I haven't needed any of them, haven't really looked into what they are, and have been quite happy with the free service.
So, there you go. Fight back against The Man from the comfort of your keyboard, and at a total cost of zero dollars.
Cover Your Ass!
It's The American Way!
Marvel's IRON FIST
Posted 8 years agoSo... a lot's been written about Marvel's IRON FIST, the latest comic book mini-series offering from Netflix - some of it quite rancorous. But, having watched about half of the episodes now, I can say that most of the complaints about it being racist or sexist can be easily dismissed or ignored.
I won't go into the full litany of complaints here, but it looks to me like most of the people attacking IRON FIST on that front were doing so, just for the sake of hearing themselves whine. If they weren't complaining about this, they'd be off arguing that Star Wars is racist dogma, since it's about a blonde white boy conspiring with a rich girl to make a black man homeless.
As far as stacking up against Marvel's other Netflix offerings.... the fighting is a lot less brutal than Daredevil. This comes down mostly to the directing and choreography not being done nearly as well. That falls mostly on the part of Daredevil having been a masterclass in both. It's hard to top something done that well.
It's a lot less gloomy than Jessica Jones. A lot of the first half of that, I spent waiting for it to get good, or to go someplace worth the effort it was taking to sit through it. It did, thankfully, pick up steam and finally go someplace. In contrast, Iron Fist establishes it's plot fairly early, and quite solidly. It made cinematic sense, which Jessica Jones often didn't in the first few episodes. Not once did I wonder what the hell any of this was supposed to mean.
It scores over Luke Cage in only one regard. So far, Iron Fist has managed to avoid having a gratuitously hamhanded sex scene, filmed with all the raw passion of a low budget porn flick filmed in a dumpster.
On the whole, Iron Fist is far less stylized than any of the previous three offerings, with very little overt design sense on display. Unfortunately, this results in Iron Fist's violence also being delivered in a far less stylized way. Although the previous series were quite violent, the violence tended to be implied more than shown. Off the top of my head, I remember the scene in Daredevil where Kingpin kills someone with a car door. You see the result of the violence, but not the actual violence itself.
In contrast, Iron Fist's level of gore tends to be quite severe. Some scenes around the middle of the series (which is as far as I've got so far, as I'll remind you) are so explicitly gory that they would probably need to be trimmed, just to get this down to an R-rating, if it were shown in theaters. This is a case where less would have been more, and a more refined design sense would have helped things immensely.
I'm about to dive back in for another episode. But so far, I'm giving this somewhere between a C+ to a B- as a grade. The story's good. The directing isn't bad. The staging and overall lack of style are its biggest flaws. It could have used a bit more art direction.
Honestly, It reminds me a lot of a dark, gritty DALLAS reboot.
I won't go into the full litany of complaints here, but it looks to me like most of the people attacking IRON FIST on that front were doing so, just for the sake of hearing themselves whine. If they weren't complaining about this, they'd be off arguing that Star Wars is racist dogma, since it's about a blonde white boy conspiring with a rich girl to make a black man homeless.
As far as stacking up against Marvel's other Netflix offerings.... the fighting is a lot less brutal than Daredevil. This comes down mostly to the directing and choreography not being done nearly as well. That falls mostly on the part of Daredevil having been a masterclass in both. It's hard to top something done that well.
It's a lot less gloomy than Jessica Jones. A lot of the first half of that, I spent waiting for it to get good, or to go someplace worth the effort it was taking to sit through it. It did, thankfully, pick up steam and finally go someplace. In contrast, Iron Fist establishes it's plot fairly early, and quite solidly. It made cinematic sense, which Jessica Jones often didn't in the first few episodes. Not once did I wonder what the hell any of this was supposed to mean.
It scores over Luke Cage in only one regard. So far, Iron Fist has managed to avoid having a gratuitously hamhanded sex scene, filmed with all the raw passion of a low budget porn flick filmed in a dumpster.
On the whole, Iron Fist is far less stylized than any of the previous three offerings, with very little overt design sense on display. Unfortunately, this results in Iron Fist's violence also being delivered in a far less stylized way. Although the previous series were quite violent, the violence tended to be implied more than shown. Off the top of my head, I remember the scene in Daredevil where Kingpin kills someone with a car door. You see the result of the violence, but not the actual violence itself.
In contrast, Iron Fist's level of gore tends to be quite severe. Some scenes around the middle of the series (which is as far as I've got so far, as I'll remind you) are so explicitly gory that they would probably need to be trimmed, just to get this down to an R-rating, if it were shown in theaters. This is a case where less would have been more, and a more refined design sense would have helped things immensely.
I'm about to dive back in for another episode. But so far, I'm giving this somewhere between a C+ to a B- as a grade. The story's good. The directing isn't bad. The staging and overall lack of style are its biggest flaws. It could have used a bit more art direction.
Honestly, It reminds me a lot of a dark, gritty DALLAS reboot.
Lost another one
Posted 8 years agoIn case you folks haven't seen any of the other Journals popping up about it this morning, we lost another one this week.
genecatlow is gone. I don't have the full details. He was 59, and he was found dead in his home. Death was by "natural causes." That's about all I know.
Hell of a nice guy. One of the few people in this world about whom I have absolutely nothing bad to say. Not a single critique.
His comic, Gene Catlow was a regular part of my week. When I started doing Evil Twin, I originally posted it on Tuesday and Thursday, because those were the two days he didn't update.
I was looking forward to seeing where things were going with the current story line too.
I have a lot of thoughts jangling around in my head right now, and I'm not really sure which ones are appropriate to put here, so I'll just close by saying that this is bad on so many levels.
Fuck.
genecatlow is gone. I don't have the full details. He was 59, and he was found dead in his home. Death was by "natural causes." That's about all I know.Hell of a nice guy. One of the few people in this world about whom I have absolutely nothing bad to say. Not a single critique.
His comic, Gene Catlow was a regular part of my week. When I started doing Evil Twin, I originally posted it on Tuesday and Thursday, because those were the two days he didn't update.
I was looking forward to seeing where things were going with the current story line too.
I have a lot of thoughts jangling around in my head right now, and I'm not really sure which ones are appropriate to put here, so I'll just close by saying that this is bad on so many levels.
Fuck.
We've been here before - I recognize that building
Posted 8 years agoThis Journal probably won't be of much interest, unless you're as much of a tv and movie buff as I am.
I want to talk about sets, and the re-use thereof.
I made a comment yesterday to someone that the backlot sets at Warner Brothers and over at Universal City make up the majority of TV locations. This may not actually be accurate, but it does sure seem that way sometimes. let's take look at a couple examples.
* Both the old George Reeves SUPERMAN show, and Andy Griffith were filmed on the same street sets. That's right, Downtown Metropolis was Mayberry. In fact, in a couple shots, Clark Kent and Lois Lane walk right past Floyd's Barber Shop.
Here's a website all about it: http://www.jimnolt.com/fortyacres1.htm
* The spooky haunted house that The Munsters lived in at 1313 Mockingbird Lane during the 60's tv series, was built about twenty years earlier for a movie musical, and is still in use to this day.
Again, here's more info, courtesy of The Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munster_Mansion
* The courhouse from Back To The Future was also a pre-existing set, having seen about forty years of use in various films and Tv shows, before Marty and Doc hit it with a lightning bolt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courthouse_Square
But, my own personal favorite standing set has got to be The Court Of Miracles at Universal, which you can see a nice picture of here:
http://www.thestudiotour.com/ush/ba.....miracles_5.jpg
This is one of those sets that becomes instantly recognizable after you've seen it a half dozen times. It shows up in the old Frankensetin films. it was home to The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. It appears repeatedly in the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films. It serves as Itallian town Voltafiore, the location for the final season of McHale's Navy. The Shakespeare episode of MOONLIGHTING was shot here. The list goes on, and on.
Watching a tv series or movie, and seeing it suddenly appear as a setting has become a bit like having a famous name celebrity pop up to do a cameo. One of those "there it is again!" moments.
I'd kinda like to visit there someday and just poke around the empty sets.... with a tape measure.
I want to talk about sets, and the re-use thereof.
I made a comment yesterday to someone that the backlot sets at Warner Brothers and over at Universal City make up the majority of TV locations. This may not actually be accurate, but it does sure seem that way sometimes. let's take look at a couple examples.
* Both the old George Reeves SUPERMAN show, and Andy Griffith were filmed on the same street sets. That's right, Downtown Metropolis was Mayberry. In fact, in a couple shots, Clark Kent and Lois Lane walk right past Floyd's Barber Shop.
Here's a website all about it: http://www.jimnolt.com/fortyacres1.htm
* The spooky haunted house that The Munsters lived in at 1313 Mockingbird Lane during the 60's tv series, was built about twenty years earlier for a movie musical, and is still in use to this day.
Again, here's more info, courtesy of The Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munster_Mansion
* The courhouse from Back To The Future was also a pre-existing set, having seen about forty years of use in various films and Tv shows, before Marty and Doc hit it with a lightning bolt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courthouse_Square
But, my own personal favorite standing set has got to be The Court Of Miracles at Universal, which you can see a nice picture of here:
http://www.thestudiotour.com/ush/ba.....miracles_5.jpg
This is one of those sets that becomes instantly recognizable after you've seen it a half dozen times. It shows up in the old Frankensetin films. it was home to The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. It appears repeatedly in the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films. It serves as Itallian town Voltafiore, the location for the final season of McHale's Navy. The Shakespeare episode of MOONLIGHTING was shot here. The list goes on, and on.
Watching a tv series or movie, and seeing it suddenly appear as a setting has become a bit like having a famous name celebrity pop up to do a cameo. One of those "there it is again!" moments.
I'd kinda like to visit there someday and just poke around the empty sets.... with a tape measure.
Tales From The Gaming Table - Philner Runs A Session
Posted 8 years agoA long time ago, not in a galaxy far far away, a friend of mine was living at the local University.
He was bunked up at a place called The Ray Street Dorms, which were some fancy new ultramodern student dwellings which had been constructed by the school, after it had been determined that the aging, badly-lit, and claustrophobic residences around the campus, which ranged from the cool ambiance of cold-war era bomb shelters, to the cozy confines of civil-war era boot cupboards, were putting people off coming to the school. And so some money was spent to build these new, modern dorms and hopefully attract some new paying customers. These new dwellings featured fancy, cutting edge things like built-in ethernet, skylights, and most importantly of all... a large student lounge on each floor with big comfortable furniture.
It was to the student lounge on his floor that he, I and a few assorted locals would find ourselves drawn every Saturday night, as the room turned out to be the perfect place for a rousing gaming session. Our games of choice ranged from the sword & sorcery of D&D, to the sprawling space saga of GAMMA WORLD. Star Wars, Champions... you name it we probably ran a session of it.
On the night in question, the game was D&D, and our party had been outfitted with all the usual trappings. We had a good sized crowd, with all the requisites. We had archers, and we had magic users and we had swordsmen. And among this last group we had... a Paladin. He will become important later in the story.
Our Dungeon Master for the evening was a guy named Philner, who was one of the locals, a weedy hippie type who had recently decided to become a born-again Christian. That should have been our first clue that something was afoot. The second was that Philner had saddled our party with an NPC. (That's a non-player character - essentially a player character, but controlled entirely by the DM)
The plot was nothing too spectacular. Our party had been gathered together by the local King, because his daughter had been abducted by a villain and spirited away to an evil fortress full of the usual monsters. We were now charged with rescuing her, and bringing her home safely. The NPC that we had been stuck with was her betrothed - a prince of some sort who had won the King's loyalty. The King had agreed to their marriage, and now wanted him to lead the rescue.
Yes, the DM's NPC was calling all the shots.
As the session rolled along, and we started carving our way through the dungeon levels of the evil fortress, headed towards our eventual goal of a typical damsel-in-the-tower rescue, Philner's NPC started getting in the way. He was being used as both a plot hammer, to drive us in the direction Philner wanted... but when we got there, he was also essentially stealing all our thunder. It quickly became apparent that Philner saw his NPC as the hero of this adventure, and all of the actual player characters were essentially hired extras. This resulted in instances where, when one of the player characters was about to make an action that would impact on the story, or advance the story, Philner had his NPC step in and perform the action instead. He was a better thief than our thief, unlocking impenetrable locks, a better swordsman than our swordsman, and at one point he even covered our wizard after a spell mishap, by casting the spell for him.
This should have been an even bigger clue that something was up, but at this point most of us were just dragging our way through this mess, to see where he was going with it. It had ceased to be a game session, and now were were just watching in startled fascination as gaping onlookers, the way one does at the scene of a particularly spectacular car accident.
Well, in short order, we defeated the villain, collected the princess and took her home.
And now, at last, we stood before the King in his throne-room. The princess was rescued, the King was grateful, the party were ready for our big payoff....
...and that's when Philner had his NPC drop a disguise spell which he had seemingly been hiding behind through the entire adventure...
...and revel himself to be a Demon.
And at that Philner launched into a prepared speech about the power of love overcoming all, and how his demon had been turned from the darkness back to the light by it and...
...and at that point, the Paladin said. "Wait, this guy just revealed he's a demon?"
Philner said "Yes."
The Paladin said "I chop his head off." And he rolled a nat 20.
That's a critical success. A perfect hit, that took the head clean off in one swipe.
Philner practically went catatonic. "YOU DO WHAT!!?"
"I'm a paladin. He's a Demon. I am required to kill Demons. What did you think was going to happen?"
At this point, Philner had the King rush down off his throne, to impose himself between the Paladin and the Demon, refusing to acknowledge the killing blow had already been struck.
"My friends!" The King said "Wait..."
"The King is now defending the demon?" Asked the Paladin.
"Well, of course he is! If you'd just..."
"The King is clearly enthralled by the demon. I chop his head off too. 18!"
What followed can only be described as pandemonium as our group found themselves carving their way through the King's soldiers, and the happy town-folk, all of whom were trying to stand between us and the demon, knocking over feasting tables, and candles, and before long the castle and all it contained were on fire.
As we regrouped outside the burning remains of the once happy castle, the Paladin turned and asked Philner, "How many experience points do I get for that?"
That was when Philner closed his book, got up and left.
We never did get our reward.
He was bunked up at a place called The Ray Street Dorms, which were some fancy new ultramodern student dwellings which had been constructed by the school, after it had been determined that the aging, badly-lit, and claustrophobic residences around the campus, which ranged from the cool ambiance of cold-war era bomb shelters, to the cozy confines of civil-war era boot cupboards, were putting people off coming to the school. And so some money was spent to build these new, modern dorms and hopefully attract some new paying customers. These new dwellings featured fancy, cutting edge things like built-in ethernet, skylights, and most importantly of all... a large student lounge on each floor with big comfortable furniture.
It was to the student lounge on his floor that he, I and a few assorted locals would find ourselves drawn every Saturday night, as the room turned out to be the perfect place for a rousing gaming session. Our games of choice ranged from the sword & sorcery of D&D, to the sprawling space saga of GAMMA WORLD. Star Wars, Champions... you name it we probably ran a session of it.
On the night in question, the game was D&D, and our party had been outfitted with all the usual trappings. We had a good sized crowd, with all the requisites. We had archers, and we had magic users and we had swordsmen. And among this last group we had... a Paladin. He will become important later in the story.
Our Dungeon Master for the evening was a guy named Philner, who was one of the locals, a weedy hippie type who had recently decided to become a born-again Christian. That should have been our first clue that something was afoot. The second was that Philner had saddled our party with an NPC. (That's a non-player character - essentially a player character, but controlled entirely by the DM)
The plot was nothing too spectacular. Our party had been gathered together by the local King, because his daughter had been abducted by a villain and spirited away to an evil fortress full of the usual monsters. We were now charged with rescuing her, and bringing her home safely. The NPC that we had been stuck with was her betrothed - a prince of some sort who had won the King's loyalty. The King had agreed to their marriage, and now wanted him to lead the rescue.
Yes, the DM's NPC was calling all the shots.
As the session rolled along, and we started carving our way through the dungeon levels of the evil fortress, headed towards our eventual goal of a typical damsel-in-the-tower rescue, Philner's NPC started getting in the way. He was being used as both a plot hammer, to drive us in the direction Philner wanted... but when we got there, he was also essentially stealing all our thunder. It quickly became apparent that Philner saw his NPC as the hero of this adventure, and all of the actual player characters were essentially hired extras. This resulted in instances where, when one of the player characters was about to make an action that would impact on the story, or advance the story, Philner had his NPC step in and perform the action instead. He was a better thief than our thief, unlocking impenetrable locks, a better swordsman than our swordsman, and at one point he even covered our wizard after a spell mishap, by casting the spell for him.
This should have been an even bigger clue that something was up, but at this point most of us were just dragging our way through this mess, to see where he was going with it. It had ceased to be a game session, and now were were just watching in startled fascination as gaping onlookers, the way one does at the scene of a particularly spectacular car accident.
Well, in short order, we defeated the villain, collected the princess and took her home.
And now, at last, we stood before the King in his throne-room. The princess was rescued, the King was grateful, the party were ready for our big payoff....
...and that's when Philner had his NPC drop a disguise spell which he had seemingly been hiding behind through the entire adventure...
...and revel himself to be a Demon.
And at that Philner launched into a prepared speech about the power of love overcoming all, and how his demon had been turned from the darkness back to the light by it and...
...and at that point, the Paladin said. "Wait, this guy just revealed he's a demon?"
Philner said "Yes."
The Paladin said "I chop his head off." And he rolled a nat 20.
That's a critical success. A perfect hit, that took the head clean off in one swipe.
Philner practically went catatonic. "YOU DO WHAT!!?"
"I'm a paladin. He's a Demon. I am required to kill Demons. What did you think was going to happen?"
At this point, Philner had the King rush down off his throne, to impose himself between the Paladin and the Demon, refusing to acknowledge the killing blow had already been struck.
"My friends!" The King said "Wait..."
"The King is now defending the demon?" Asked the Paladin.
"Well, of course he is! If you'd just..."
"The King is clearly enthralled by the demon. I chop his head off too. 18!"
What followed can only be described as pandemonium as our group found themselves carving their way through the King's soldiers, and the happy town-folk, all of whom were trying to stand between us and the demon, knocking over feasting tables, and candles, and before long the castle and all it contained were on fire.
As we regrouped outside the burning remains of the once happy castle, the Paladin turned and asked Philner, "How many experience points do I get for that?"
That was when Philner closed his book, got up and left.
We never did get our reward.
POWERLESS
Posted 9 years agoJust sat down and watched the new DC-Universe sitcom, Powerless. My impression of it is a show that is trying really hard, but falling short of being good. There are some nice ideas in it.... but they never quite gel.
I think that most of what's wrong with it, is that it seems to be actively fighting itself. It wants to be a tv comedy, but desperately seems to want to avoid doing the things that make tv comedy work. Because tv comedy is cheesy, and therefore not worthy.
Here's what I think it needs:
1) Laugh track: It needs one, desperately. Not just to punch the jokes home, but because nobody in the cast seems to have any understanding of comedic timing at all, and having a metronome like a laugh track will aid them in that.
2) Smaller cast: The show is set in an office with a huge staff. This leads to visual clutter, with the core characters getting lost onscreen. The only scenes in the show where the characters exhibit any personality are the scenes where they have been isolated from the rest of the huge anonymous cast. Take a lesson from shows like The IT Crowd - you can give the impression of this being a large company with lots of employees, but stick your core cast into their own small space, where they are the only characters onscreen and are thereby forced to deal with each other. Use extras sparingly.
3) Cut all ties with the DC Universe. This would be much better off as a parody of the entire superhero genre, rather than just a weak tie-in to one section of it. Go large. Don't give us the actual Batman or Joker. Give us parody archetypes that can be explored and even made fun of without offending the marketing department. Look to the old live-action TICK for examples of how to do that.
4) Spend less on the set: Yes, it is a very nice set, but it clearly was designed for a drama show, not a comedy. Way too much money was spent on making the set look nice. The set shouldn't look nice, it should look like what it's supposed to be. A slightly run-down corporate hellhole. I've worked in a few of these. I bet most of the audience has, too. They don't have fancy neon lights in the ceiling and polished marble floors. The set's too damned pretty to be funny. Ugly it up.
So, what we have is a cast with no comedy chops, reading lines that could be funnier, while standing in a set that doesn't lend itself to comedy, somewhere in a sea of extras. It's everything you don't do in one big ball. The end result is weak.
This show needs sharpening.
It's supposed to be a comedy, guys. Stop trying to make it something else.
I think that most of what's wrong with it, is that it seems to be actively fighting itself. It wants to be a tv comedy, but desperately seems to want to avoid doing the things that make tv comedy work. Because tv comedy is cheesy, and therefore not worthy.
Here's what I think it needs:
1) Laugh track: It needs one, desperately. Not just to punch the jokes home, but because nobody in the cast seems to have any understanding of comedic timing at all, and having a metronome like a laugh track will aid them in that.
2) Smaller cast: The show is set in an office with a huge staff. This leads to visual clutter, with the core characters getting lost onscreen. The only scenes in the show where the characters exhibit any personality are the scenes where they have been isolated from the rest of the huge anonymous cast. Take a lesson from shows like The IT Crowd - you can give the impression of this being a large company with lots of employees, but stick your core cast into their own small space, where they are the only characters onscreen and are thereby forced to deal with each other. Use extras sparingly.
3) Cut all ties with the DC Universe. This would be much better off as a parody of the entire superhero genre, rather than just a weak tie-in to one section of it. Go large. Don't give us the actual Batman or Joker. Give us parody archetypes that can be explored and even made fun of without offending the marketing department. Look to the old live-action TICK for examples of how to do that.
4) Spend less on the set: Yes, it is a very nice set, but it clearly was designed for a drama show, not a comedy. Way too much money was spent on making the set look nice. The set shouldn't look nice, it should look like what it's supposed to be. A slightly run-down corporate hellhole. I've worked in a few of these. I bet most of the audience has, too. They don't have fancy neon lights in the ceiling and polished marble floors. The set's too damned pretty to be funny. Ugly it up.
So, what we have is a cast with no comedy chops, reading lines that could be funnier, while standing in a set that doesn't lend itself to comedy, somewhere in a sea of extras. It's everything you don't do in one big ball. The end result is weak.
This show needs sharpening.
It's supposed to be a comedy, guys. Stop trying to make it something else.
Two weeks on Soundcloud
Posted 9 years agoOkay... as you folks probably already know, two weeks ago I took the leap of applying for an account on Soundcloud, and I started uploading my music there. I figured, hey - free storage for my music. A great place for folks to go listen to it. There's even this cool little player applet that I can stick on the Evil Twin homepage, so people who visit it can hear the Evil Twin theme song.
Well... all that is true, yes. Unfortunately, that's about how far Soundcloud's usefulness extends. In the two weeks since I started uploading racks, I have come to see, in no uncertain terms, just what a broken, badly designed, badly implemented and badly run place it really is.
Here's some highlights:
* The place is over-run with robots. Robots who will fave a track, or watch an account of even post a response for one purpose, and one purpose only: advertising. The most popular types of advertising are the porn spam clickbait, and the "promotional" pitch.
The promotional pitch is basically a "pay us money and we'll artificially generate so many fake followers and fake track plays that it will look like you're a megastar!" And unfortunately, Soundcloud is so broken that this actually works. People buy fake followers, and fake track plays, and artificially push themselves to the top of the site's "most popular" charts.
..and the end result of that is that the "most popular" charts are completely useless, since every track on there is most likely riding on top of a mountain of fake popularity. It's payola all the way down.
Here's an article about it:
http://runthetrap.com/2014/04/06/so.....ud-bots-truth/
In the two weeks I have been signed up, I have received about twenty followers. Two were real people. I got fed up reporting and banning accounts, so right now it shows me as having eight followers. And still.. only two of them are actual people.
Okay, so... soundcloud says that any bot activity should be reported to them so they can take care of it... they also supply you with a ban control, because that way they don't have to bother to show up and deal with it themselves... thereby leaving the bots free to roam around the system unchecked... and that brings me to my next point.
* Nobody's home: Reporting bot accounts does nothing. The bot accounts are never deleted. Soundcloud seems to have no interest in actually removing these accounts, or stopping their system-gaming shenanigans. Filing reports results in no response and no action taken. Similarly, feedback is ignored. It's like the place was built, the button was pushed to set it running and then everybody who was supposed to work there left and never came back. I picture their offices as empty, dark, and dust-covered, with a server pinging away quietly in some forgotten closet.
* So much potential, but nothing is hooked up correctly. When clicking around the site, and trying to get some use out of it, my impression is that of an early beta tester looking at an unfinished product.
They have a system called Soundcloud Stations, where the idea is that you can select any track, and have the site auto-generate a playlist based on songs that are similar to that track. This would be a great thing, if it actually did that - if it actually looked at the tags on a song, and looked for similarly tagged songs - but it doesn't. No matter what song you select, or what tags are associated with that track, be it punk, or electronic, or rock... it plays whatever the user has clicked the "like" button for. That's all. It pays no attention to the song that it is supposedly basing the station on. Select any song in a user's list and generate the exact same playlist of songs that user clicked Like for, no matter how dissimilar they are. The controls for a really powerful feature are there, but they're hooked up to nothing. Placeholder code. "This is where the feature will go once we write it it, but for now..." code.
* You can "like" your own uploads. Just in case you're too cheap to pay a robot to do it.
* Because of all of the above, there is no community there. The system is such a mess, there's no capacity for this to even happen. No way to randomly stumble over music you didn't know existed. There's a search function but the best you can do with that is look for things that you already know about. There's no discovery there.
It really is a damn shame, because Soundcloud could really be something if it just got some attention from the people who are supposed to be running it. It could be an actual community instead of just a storage room full of robots and dust.
Something akin to Pandora for bedroom producers, unsigned bands, and other music hobbyists.
For now... it's free storage space. At least until something better comes along.
Well... all that is true, yes. Unfortunately, that's about how far Soundcloud's usefulness extends. In the two weeks since I started uploading racks, I have come to see, in no uncertain terms, just what a broken, badly designed, badly implemented and badly run place it really is.
Here's some highlights:
* The place is over-run with robots. Robots who will fave a track, or watch an account of even post a response for one purpose, and one purpose only: advertising. The most popular types of advertising are the porn spam clickbait, and the "promotional" pitch.
The promotional pitch is basically a "pay us money and we'll artificially generate so many fake followers and fake track plays that it will look like you're a megastar!" And unfortunately, Soundcloud is so broken that this actually works. People buy fake followers, and fake track plays, and artificially push themselves to the top of the site's "most popular" charts.
..and the end result of that is that the "most popular" charts are completely useless, since every track on there is most likely riding on top of a mountain of fake popularity. It's payola all the way down.
Here's an article about it:
http://runthetrap.com/2014/04/06/so.....ud-bots-truth/
In the two weeks I have been signed up, I have received about twenty followers. Two were real people. I got fed up reporting and banning accounts, so right now it shows me as having eight followers. And still.. only two of them are actual people.
Okay, so... soundcloud says that any bot activity should be reported to them so they can take care of it... they also supply you with a ban control, because that way they don't have to bother to show up and deal with it themselves... thereby leaving the bots free to roam around the system unchecked... and that brings me to my next point.
* Nobody's home: Reporting bot accounts does nothing. The bot accounts are never deleted. Soundcloud seems to have no interest in actually removing these accounts, or stopping their system-gaming shenanigans. Filing reports results in no response and no action taken. Similarly, feedback is ignored. It's like the place was built, the button was pushed to set it running and then everybody who was supposed to work there left and never came back. I picture their offices as empty, dark, and dust-covered, with a server pinging away quietly in some forgotten closet.
* So much potential, but nothing is hooked up correctly. When clicking around the site, and trying to get some use out of it, my impression is that of an early beta tester looking at an unfinished product.
They have a system called Soundcloud Stations, where the idea is that you can select any track, and have the site auto-generate a playlist based on songs that are similar to that track. This would be a great thing, if it actually did that - if it actually looked at the tags on a song, and looked for similarly tagged songs - but it doesn't. No matter what song you select, or what tags are associated with that track, be it punk, or electronic, or rock... it plays whatever the user has clicked the "like" button for. That's all. It pays no attention to the song that it is supposedly basing the station on. Select any song in a user's list and generate the exact same playlist of songs that user clicked Like for, no matter how dissimilar they are. The controls for a really powerful feature are there, but they're hooked up to nothing. Placeholder code. "This is where the feature will go once we write it it, but for now..." code.
* You can "like" your own uploads. Just in case you're too cheap to pay a robot to do it.
* Because of all of the above, there is no community there. The system is such a mess, there's no capacity for this to even happen. No way to randomly stumble over music you didn't know existed. There's a search function but the best you can do with that is look for things that you already know about. There's no discovery there.
It really is a damn shame, because Soundcloud could really be something if it just got some attention from the people who are supposed to be running it. It could be an actual community instead of just a storage room full of robots and dust.
Something akin to Pandora for bedroom producers, unsigned bands, and other music hobbyists.
For now... it's free storage space. At least until something better comes along.
Nazi Punch (warning, politics)
Posted 9 years agoSo, someone I've been following here on FA just posted a journal, in which they expressed their annoyance that Richard Spencer, self-elected national mouthpiece for white separatism, got punched in the face during an interview. Because how dare someone punch a Nazi, because violence is wrong, and aren't liberals all supposed to be peace-loving hippies, and he might have had a gun and then where would you be, huh?
And how dare anyone call Mr. Spencer a Nazi to begin with? I mean all he does is spout racist rhetoric, both in person and on the internet, and there was that time he stood in front of a bunch of people, giving the Nazi salute and chanting “Hail victory!” which may be that thing that Nazis say:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_salute
...but it's in English! so it's totally different! So, you can't even really call him a Nazi. He's just a fun-loving scamp who really likes being white, and enjoys quoting Nazi propaganda, sometimes in the original German:
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/21/.....ald-trump.html
He's just a guy who has publicly advocated and applauded ethnic cleansing.
That's all.
I hate to say it, but it seems like the person who wrote this journal (and yes, I have deliberately not named him) wasn't so much incensed that someone punched a racist for being a racist, it's that the entire Internet rose up to congratulate the guy who threw the punch, and elevate him instantly to meme status in an endless array of remix videos. A global celebration of the punch heard 'round the world.
"You do not have the right to punch Nazis!" says he.
I'm sorry if that offends your tender sensibilities. But, this is the United States Of America.
We punch Nazis.
While our country's history is rife with examples of racism, we have gone out of our way to stomp that crap down, and when it rears it's stupid, ignorant head yet again, we are going to do our damndest to stamp it back down one more time. From the Civil War to WWII, our fathers, and our forefathers fought against racist ideologies with their lives and their blood. Our cemeteries are full of American veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice, in order to stop the onward march of the Nazi menace. We regard those honored dead as heroes, and we will not dishonor their sacrifice.
So you do not get to bring racist, Nazi rhetoric in here, wave it around like some kind of trophy, and then act all surprised when someone takes a swing at you for it.
And as a complaint, "How dare you be intolerant of my intolerance!" is patently idiotic.
Welcome to America.
Don't be a Nazi here.
And how dare anyone call Mr. Spencer a Nazi to begin with? I mean all he does is spout racist rhetoric, both in person and on the internet, and there was that time he stood in front of a bunch of people, giving the Nazi salute and chanting “Hail victory!” which may be that thing that Nazis say:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_salute
...but it's in English! so it's totally different! So, you can't even really call him a Nazi. He's just a fun-loving scamp who really likes being white, and enjoys quoting Nazi propaganda, sometimes in the original German:
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/21/.....ald-trump.html
He's just a guy who has publicly advocated and applauded ethnic cleansing.
That's all.
I hate to say it, but it seems like the person who wrote this journal (and yes, I have deliberately not named him) wasn't so much incensed that someone punched a racist for being a racist, it's that the entire Internet rose up to congratulate the guy who threw the punch, and elevate him instantly to meme status in an endless array of remix videos. A global celebration of the punch heard 'round the world.
"You do not have the right to punch Nazis!" says he.
I'm sorry if that offends your tender sensibilities. But, this is the United States Of America.
We punch Nazis.
While our country's history is rife with examples of racism, we have gone out of our way to stomp that crap down, and when it rears it's stupid, ignorant head yet again, we are going to do our damndest to stamp it back down one more time. From the Civil War to WWII, our fathers, and our forefathers fought against racist ideologies with their lives and their blood. Our cemeteries are full of American veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice, in order to stop the onward march of the Nazi menace. We regard those honored dead as heroes, and we will not dishonor their sacrifice.
So you do not get to bring racist, Nazi rhetoric in here, wave it around like some kind of trophy, and then act all surprised when someone takes a swing at you for it.
And as a complaint, "How dare you be intolerant of my intolerance!" is patently idiotic.
Welcome to America.
Don't be a Nazi here.
Bear On A Cloud
Posted 9 years agoAfter many years of being an occasional lurker therein, I have joined Soundcloud.
You can find me at:
https://soundcloud.com/user-212448702
Only two of my tracks have been uploaded, but it's a start. And it's free.
You can find me at:
https://soundcloud.com/user-212448702
Only two of my tracks have been uploaded, but it's a start. And it's free.
The Mandela Effect Strikes Again
Posted 9 years agoOkay.. if you've been on the internet for more than a day, you've probably heard about this thing called The Mandela Effect, which is basically a name that refers to... well, it's either a mass hallucination, or proof that we are all living in the matrix, or that someone has a time machine and is screwing with history. Pick one or the other.
The most notable examples of this so far are the Berenstein Bears. or is it Berenstain? depends on which alternate timeline you come from, apparently.
Another one has cropped up recently, with people remembering the comedian Sinbad appearing in a rip off of the movie Kazam called Shazam. People swear they have seen this film. No trace of it exists.
Well... I've got another one for you.
Recently, BOOM! Studios has been putting out issues of a crossover comic between ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, and BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. Both films star Kurt Russel, and the joke is that both of his characters, Snake Plissken and Jack Burton, meet. It's a fun little series. But that's not the point.
The point is that over the holiday weekend, I was discussing this comic series with a relative, and we both remember this not being the first time that these two characters had met. We both remembered an after-credits sequence tacked onto the film ESCAPE FROM LA which showed Snake Plisken and Jack Burton, sitting in a bar, doing shots of liquor together, with Jack Burton being his usual overbearing self and telling Snake All about the events of LITTLE CHINA.
We both remember this scene. We both were able to describe the dialogue that took place.
And I have the DVD of Escape From LA, so we stuck it in, jumped ahead to the end credits.... and that after credits scene wasn't there.
Thing is, the only reason I ever saw that movie, is because I bought that DVD. Which means I saw that scene... on that DVD. And now it's not there. Vanished.
I just got word back from my relative a few minutes ago. It's not on his copy either. He got home, he checked. No end credits scene.
Is this scene from some other movie?
Are we both mad?
Is this an alternate reality?
Did the matrix glitch?
Just what the hell is going on here?
And most importantly... does anybody else remember this scene?
The most notable examples of this so far are the Berenstein Bears. or is it Berenstain? depends on which alternate timeline you come from, apparently.
Another one has cropped up recently, with people remembering the comedian Sinbad appearing in a rip off of the movie Kazam called Shazam. People swear they have seen this film. No trace of it exists.
Well... I've got another one for you.
Recently, BOOM! Studios has been putting out issues of a crossover comic between ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, and BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. Both films star Kurt Russel, and the joke is that both of his characters, Snake Plissken and Jack Burton, meet. It's a fun little series. But that's not the point.
The point is that over the holiday weekend, I was discussing this comic series with a relative, and we both remember this not being the first time that these two characters had met. We both remembered an after-credits sequence tacked onto the film ESCAPE FROM LA which showed Snake Plisken and Jack Burton, sitting in a bar, doing shots of liquor together, with Jack Burton being his usual overbearing self and telling Snake All about the events of LITTLE CHINA.
We both remember this scene. We both were able to describe the dialogue that took place.
And I have the DVD of Escape From LA, so we stuck it in, jumped ahead to the end credits.... and that after credits scene wasn't there.
Thing is, the only reason I ever saw that movie, is because I bought that DVD. Which means I saw that scene... on that DVD. And now it's not there. Vanished.
I just got word back from my relative a few minutes ago. It's not on his copy either. He got home, he checked. No end credits scene.
Is this scene from some other movie?
Are we both mad?
Is this an alternate reality?
Did the matrix glitch?
Just what the hell is going on here?
And most importantly... does anybody else remember this scene?
It Came From The Video Rental Shop
Posted 9 years agoShortly after the Vietnam war, a vintage WWII bomber loaded with video equipment by a team of radical malcontents took to the skies with a plan to protect the public from government propaganda, through the act of signal jamming and television piracy.
The year is now 1986, and this is their story.
Coming to you from the depths of the video rental shelf....
DENNIS HOPPER stars in:
RIDERS OF THE STORM
A bizarre little film about Truth, Justice and The Ameircan Way.
Tune in, turn on and veg out.
The year is now 1986, and this is their story.
Coming to you from the depths of the video rental shelf....
DENNIS HOPPER stars in:
RIDERS OF THE STORM
A bizarre little film about Truth, Justice and The Ameircan Way.
Tune in, turn on and veg out.
Nerd Humor
Posted 9 years agoOkay...so. I'm watching the latest episode of DC's "Legends Of Tomorrow" and in the first few minutes, I spotted and got what has to be a deliberate in-joke. Not because it was a comic book related in-joke, but because it was a font related in-joke.
The episode takes place in 1927 Chicago.
And as the story begins, we're shown a shot of Chicago's Union Station. How do we know this? Because of the big sign.
...written in the Chicago Font created for and used on the old Apple Macintosh.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chica.....%28typeface%29
I feel like such a nerd now.
Somewhere a set designer is having a quiet giggle to themselves.
The episode takes place in 1927 Chicago.
And as the story begins, we're shown a shot of Chicago's Union Station. How do we know this? Because of the big sign.
...written in the Chicago Font created for and used on the old Apple Macintosh.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chica.....%28typeface%29
I feel like such a nerd now.
Somewhere a set designer is having a quiet giggle to themselves.
The Grand Tour Has Begun
Posted 9 years agoTG is now GT, and I couldn't be more chuffed.
Not even remotely hot on the heels of the BBC's placebo, in-name-only Top Gear product from last year, which was so good that Auntie Beeb felt compelled to evict the celebrity personality that they had built the entire program around for being an unwatchable pain in the backside who nobody wanted to work with anymore, The Grand Tour finally arrives.
Hammond, Clarkson and May are back and demonstrate clearly why the name Top Gear is just that, only a name. The Grand Tour showcases everything that made Top Gear what it was (and really isn't anymore) and feels very much like a proper homecoming rather than the start of something new. This probably has something to do with the fact that joining them (behind the scenes) is Andy Willman, producer for the original Top Gear who also jumped ship to join the new show.
After a brilliant opening sequence, an introduction of the cast, and a walkthrough of the new set, out come the cars and off they go. Along the way It gets a bit rude. It gets a lot silly. And it's brilliant. There are a few things that, for copyright or trademark reasons they couldn't bring over to the new show, but they take the time to note them, and have a bit of fun with the changes.
I cannot say it loudly enough. The return is at hand. The show we loved is back.
It's not called that anymore, but it doesn't matter.
The Grand Tour Has Begun!
...and I cannot wait for next week's episode.
Welcome back.
Not even remotely hot on the heels of the BBC's placebo, in-name-only Top Gear product from last year, which was so good that Auntie Beeb felt compelled to evict the celebrity personality that they had built the entire program around for being an unwatchable pain in the backside who nobody wanted to work with anymore, The Grand Tour finally arrives.
Hammond, Clarkson and May are back and demonstrate clearly why the name Top Gear is just that, only a name. The Grand Tour showcases everything that made Top Gear what it was (and really isn't anymore) and feels very much like a proper homecoming rather than the start of something new. This probably has something to do with the fact that joining them (behind the scenes) is Andy Willman, producer for the original Top Gear who also jumped ship to join the new show.
After a brilliant opening sequence, an introduction of the cast, and a walkthrough of the new set, out come the cars and off they go. Along the way It gets a bit rude. It gets a lot silly. And it's brilliant. There are a few things that, for copyright or trademark reasons they couldn't bring over to the new show, but they take the time to note them, and have a bit of fun with the changes.
I cannot say it loudly enough. The return is at hand. The show we loved is back.
It's not called that anymore, but it doesn't matter.
The Grand Tour Has Begun!
...and I cannot wait for next week's episode.
Welcome back.
Pray we don't get fooled again..
Posted 9 years agoWe'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they are flown in the next war
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
Though I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?
There's nothing in the streets
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Are now parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they are flown in the next war
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
Though I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?
There's nothing in the streets
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Are now parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight
I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
A funny thing happened on the way to the #wikileaks
Posted 9 years agoSo... for the past two weeks, every morning at about 7:30 - 8:00am EST, (with the exception of the day that Equador shut off Assange's internet at the behest of the USA), WIKILEAKS has posted a new batch of John Podesta's emails to the internet, and then they took to twitter to announce "The new leak is up, come and get it, people!"
Last night, just after the debate ended on television, Wikileaks posted a tweet saying that they had something special coming in the morning.
And this morning...just about thirty minutes ago... Just about the time that a new bundle of emails was expected to appear, Twitter disappeared from the internet.
Their outage map:
http://downdetector.com/status/twitter/map/
Shows a huge red blister of dead zone stretching all the way from North Carolina up to Maine. The entire East Coast corridor. That's your New York, Your Philadelphia, and your Washington D.C. Twitter is blacked out or lagged all to hell out for practically everyone east of the Mississippi. (You can see on the map that the edge of the blackout area fades from firey red through orange and out to nothing across several states - going even as far south as the full length of Florida.
This looks to be a little too big for an "oops, kicked the plug out of the wall" at the local data center.
Pre-emptive government interference? Script kiddie with a DOS-bot? Too early to tell.... but the timing, as they say, is a little too precise to be a coincidence.
Wonder how long this is going to last for.
That this also comes shortly after the news that nobody wants to buy Twitter is also interesting.
https://slashdot.org/story/16/10/15.....to-buy-twitter
Oh well. guess I should take this as a hint that it's time to get up from the computer and go make the coffee.
UPDATE:
Back from coffee, and the red outage blob has now enlarged, spreading as far west as Illinois.
Last night, just after the debate ended on television, Wikileaks posted a tweet saying that they had something special coming in the morning.
And this morning...just about thirty minutes ago... Just about the time that a new bundle of emails was expected to appear, Twitter disappeared from the internet.
Their outage map:
http://downdetector.com/status/twitter/map/
Shows a huge red blister of dead zone stretching all the way from North Carolina up to Maine. The entire East Coast corridor. That's your New York, Your Philadelphia, and your Washington D.C. Twitter is blacked out or lagged all to hell out for practically everyone east of the Mississippi. (You can see on the map that the edge of the blackout area fades from firey red through orange and out to nothing across several states - going even as far south as the full length of Florida.
This looks to be a little too big for an "oops, kicked the plug out of the wall" at the local data center.
Pre-emptive government interference? Script kiddie with a DOS-bot? Too early to tell.... but the timing, as they say, is a little too precise to be a coincidence.
Wonder how long this is going to last for.
That this also comes shortly after the news that nobody wants to buy Twitter is also interesting.
https://slashdot.org/story/16/10/15.....to-buy-twitter
Oh well. guess I should take this as a hint that it's time to get up from the computer and go make the coffee.
UPDATE:
Back from coffee, and the red outage blob has now enlarged, spreading as far west as Illinois.
BUFFERING.......
Posted 9 years agoI am writing this journal as a space filler. A Buffer.
It's been about two weeks now since I first learned of the death of my good friend Crayfox, and in that time I have been on a bit of a sabbatical, as I tried to get my head screwed back on. I believe I have now finally reached the point where I am ready to pick up and carry on. And so, it's time to put this buffer here.
The reason for this buffer message is simple: I have, from time to time over the past eleven days, been tempted to write a new journal on some topical whim. But each time I have come here to do it, there was Ray's death notice staring me in the face, and suddenly it felt like I would be doing a disservice to him and to his memory, to replace what is essentially his epitaph with something goofy and light-hearted.
So this message goes here. A bit of respectful distance.
I'm gonna miss ya, kid. But the show must go on.
And so... on with the show.
It's been about two weeks now since I first learned of the death of my good friend Crayfox, and in that time I have been on a bit of a sabbatical, as I tried to get my head screwed back on. I believe I have now finally reached the point where I am ready to pick up and carry on. And so, it's time to put this buffer here.
The reason for this buffer message is simple: I have, from time to time over the past eleven days, been tempted to write a new journal on some topical whim. But each time I have come here to do it, there was Ray's death notice staring me in the face, and suddenly it felt like I would be doing a disservice to him and to his memory, to replace what is essentially his epitaph with something goofy and light-hearted.
So this message goes here. A bit of respectful distance.
I'm gonna miss ya, kid. But the show must go on.
And so... on with the show.
2016 does it again
Posted 9 years ago2016 has claimed another life, and this time it was personal.
crayfox has died. He was someone I've known for many, many years. A local friend. And his death came as quite a shock, because he was still very young. I don't know the particulars of what happened. All anyone will say is that it was a "household accident."
Some of you, even if you never knew his name, might have recognized his face. He did work in various ways for Anthrocon, so you may have seen him around the convention.
I have a good many memories of him, but the one that shall always be with me, is that at conventions he used to borrow my grey felt indy-jones style fedora to bounce around the convention floor in, because he thought it made him look like Terrie Smith's Chester.
Anyway, I didn't wanna bring you all down with this, but as I've been unable to attend his funeral, I figured I should post some sort of commemoration.
Apologies to those of you who I left hanging somewhat on various things. I've been a little bit messed-up lately.
That's all.
crayfox has died. He was someone I've known for many, many years. A local friend. And his death came as quite a shock, because he was still very young. I don't know the particulars of what happened. All anyone will say is that it was a "household accident."Some of you, even if you never knew his name, might have recognized his face. He did work in various ways for Anthrocon, so you may have seen him around the convention.
I have a good many memories of him, but the one that shall always be with me, is that at conventions he used to borrow my grey felt indy-jones style fedora to bounce around the convention floor in, because he thought it made him look like Terrie Smith's Chester.
Anyway, I didn't wanna bring you all down with this, but as I've been unable to attend his funeral, I figured I should post some sort of commemoration.
Apologies to those of you who I left hanging somewhat on various things. I've been a little bit messed-up lately.
That's all.
Red Dwarf Season 11 (some spoilers)
Posted 9 years agoWe're two episodes into the new season of Red Dwarf, and I'm a bit worried about what I'm seeing.
Season 10 (Or SERIES X for you die hard fans), a.k.a. the triumphant return, was brilliant, in that they'd stripped the show of all the excess baggage that had been weighing it down and trimmed it down to just the essential basic qualities of Red Dwarf. Lean, fast and running strong.
Season 11 seems hell bent in bringing all that excess baggage back.
The first episode wasn't too bad, but this week's plays out like a rushed first draft, in that it's all build-up and no payoff. It's half an episode, so padded out with pointless fluff, that they didn't have time left to actually finish the story.
The plot: the crew find themselves trapped on a crashed spaceship where a system which is supposed to inspire altruistic behavior by rewarding goodness and punishing badness has had it's settings reversed, so that bad behavior is rewarded and good behavior can be downright deadly.
The problem with this is that the revelation that this is what's going on comes about five seconds before the end credits roll. we finally get to the point where the crew discover they are in big trouble, and now they have to get out of it.... and then they never get out of it. Because the episode is over. Roll credits. It's like this is the first half a of a two-parter...but it's not. Because next week's episode is another story about something else.
So how did it go wrong? There's a completely useless second plotline eating up screentime, about two people who lived on the ship before it crashed, and who were responsible for causing the mess in the first place - scenes which serve no purpose as Kryten actually explains all this in about three seconds of exposition during the episode.
And of course the episode opens with a fancy, budget-money devouring spaceship crash sequence, which again, serves no purpose except to waste money and screentime because Look at how much we can spend on FX now!
Ugh.
I hate to say it, but this show needs the budget cut out from under it. It actually seems to work best when the writers have to think creatively, and not just throw money at the screen.
I really hope it improves next week, but so far, it's looking like they lost the plot.
All the blue lighting gels in the world can't save a bad script.
Season 10 (Or SERIES X for you die hard fans), a.k.a. the triumphant return, was brilliant, in that they'd stripped the show of all the excess baggage that had been weighing it down and trimmed it down to just the essential basic qualities of Red Dwarf. Lean, fast and running strong.
Season 11 seems hell bent in bringing all that excess baggage back.
The first episode wasn't too bad, but this week's plays out like a rushed first draft, in that it's all build-up and no payoff. It's half an episode, so padded out with pointless fluff, that they didn't have time left to actually finish the story.
The plot: the crew find themselves trapped on a crashed spaceship where a system which is supposed to inspire altruistic behavior by rewarding goodness and punishing badness has had it's settings reversed, so that bad behavior is rewarded and good behavior can be downright deadly.
The problem with this is that the revelation that this is what's going on comes about five seconds before the end credits roll. we finally get to the point where the crew discover they are in big trouble, and now they have to get out of it.... and then they never get out of it. Because the episode is over. Roll credits. It's like this is the first half a of a two-parter...but it's not. Because next week's episode is another story about something else.
So how did it go wrong? There's a completely useless second plotline eating up screentime, about two people who lived on the ship before it crashed, and who were responsible for causing the mess in the first place - scenes which serve no purpose as Kryten actually explains all this in about three seconds of exposition during the episode.
And of course the episode opens with a fancy, budget-money devouring spaceship crash sequence, which again, serves no purpose except to waste money and screentime because Look at how much we can spend on FX now!
Ugh.
I hate to say it, but this show needs the budget cut out from under it. It actually seems to work best when the writers have to think creatively, and not just throw money at the screen.
I really hope it improves next week, but so far, it's looking like they lost the plot.
All the blue lighting gels in the world can't save a bad script.
Indy Swings Again
Posted 9 years agoThis was a five year labor of love for an animator named Patrick Schoenmaker.
Pity it's not a real cartoon series. I would watch the hell out of this.
In only a minute and a half long, it manages to capture the spirit and soul of the Indy films in a way that Crystal Skull never did.
The stupidest thing George Lucas did to Star Wars
Posted 9 years agoOkay, with a title like that, this had better be pretty good.
Let's get down to it...
Some time ago, a group known as Team Negative1 did something that George Lucas once claimed was impossible. They released a 1080-HD copy of the original 1976 version of Star Wars - one that had been restored to its original theatrical condition.
They did this by getting their hands on several copies of the original theatrical prints of the film which, while they were badly damaged, worn out, color faded, and full of rips, tears and splices, gave them (across several different prints) a full and complete copy of the film, as it was shown in theaters during it's first run, including the original optical soundtrack.
They then painstakingly digitized this film into a computer, and one frame at a time, restored it. Dust gone. Scratches removed. Color corrected... and when they were done, they released the finished print of it into the wild, via online internet pirate video.
It's still out there, if you know where to look. The "Silver Screen Theatrical Editition" of Star Wars.
True, since it was made from theatrical prints, it's a bit grainy in places, but it is exactly what you would have seen at your local cinema, in the 70's. Same exact quality, same exact print. Even the reel markers are still there.
And now you're probably thinking that's what I meant. That Lucas said it couldn't be done, and that someone went and did it.
Not even close.
No, I mentioned that fan release for one important reason. It's because being able to sit down and watch an unblemished, un-"improved" copy of the original film, revealed one little change that I had almost forgotten about.
That one little change is the dumbest change made to Star Wars.
And here it is: Lucas went back and removed every trace of the English language from the films, and replaced it with an alien language known as Aurebesh. This fancy alien lettering which bears no resemblance to English at all, is the written form of Galactic Basic, which is what everybody speaks in Star Wars.
In the original '76 Star Wars, in the scene where Obi-Wan powers down the Death Star tractor beam, there's a close up of a power readout marked POWER. In later, specialized versions of the film, this label's text has been replaced with an unreadable alien Aurebesh font. Because English doesn't exist.
Okay, so... you can't read the label. Why is this a problem? Surely you can still infer what's going on by the fact that there's an audio cue of a power hum tone decending, and the LED readout is falling. That should be enough of a hint as to what's going on, right?
But that's not the problem.
This is.
What's R2-D2's name?
It's R2-D2.
C-3PO is named C-3PO.
Guess what doesn't exist in Star Wars anymore?
The alphanumeric characters R, D, C, P, O, 2, and 3.
Practically every droid in Star Wars has a name made from alphanumeric characters which George Lucas has decreed don't exist.
These are the letters of Aurebesh:
Aurek
Besh
Cresh
Dorn
Esk
Forn
Grek
Herf
Isk
Jenth
Krill
Leth
Mern
Nern
Osk
Peth
Qek
Resh
Senth
Trill
Usk
Vev
Wesk
Yirt
Zerek
Cherek
Enth
Onith
Krenth
Nen
Orenth
Shen
Thesh
So....
IG-88? : nope. Can't have.
R5-D4? : nuh-uh. Not Yours.
You can take all your pointless CGI add-ons, and Greedo Shooting first and shove them aside, because to my mind, this is the real slap-upside-the-head idiot decision.
Because now, every time someone in a Star Wars movie says a droid's name out loud, it's just one more reminder that George Lucas really was an idiot.
Let's get down to it...
Some time ago, a group known as Team Negative1 did something that George Lucas once claimed was impossible. They released a 1080-HD copy of the original 1976 version of Star Wars - one that had been restored to its original theatrical condition.
They did this by getting their hands on several copies of the original theatrical prints of the film which, while they were badly damaged, worn out, color faded, and full of rips, tears and splices, gave them (across several different prints) a full and complete copy of the film, as it was shown in theaters during it's first run, including the original optical soundtrack.
They then painstakingly digitized this film into a computer, and one frame at a time, restored it. Dust gone. Scratches removed. Color corrected... and when they were done, they released the finished print of it into the wild, via online internet pirate video.
It's still out there, if you know where to look. The "Silver Screen Theatrical Editition" of Star Wars.
True, since it was made from theatrical prints, it's a bit grainy in places, but it is exactly what you would have seen at your local cinema, in the 70's. Same exact quality, same exact print. Even the reel markers are still there.
And now you're probably thinking that's what I meant. That Lucas said it couldn't be done, and that someone went and did it.
Not even close.
No, I mentioned that fan release for one important reason. It's because being able to sit down and watch an unblemished, un-"improved" copy of the original film, revealed one little change that I had almost forgotten about.
That one little change is the dumbest change made to Star Wars.
And here it is: Lucas went back and removed every trace of the English language from the films, and replaced it with an alien language known as Aurebesh. This fancy alien lettering which bears no resemblance to English at all, is the written form of Galactic Basic, which is what everybody speaks in Star Wars.
In the original '76 Star Wars, in the scene where Obi-Wan powers down the Death Star tractor beam, there's a close up of a power readout marked POWER. In later, specialized versions of the film, this label's text has been replaced with an unreadable alien Aurebesh font. Because English doesn't exist.
Okay, so... you can't read the label. Why is this a problem? Surely you can still infer what's going on by the fact that there's an audio cue of a power hum tone decending, and the LED readout is falling. That should be enough of a hint as to what's going on, right?
But that's not the problem.
This is.
What's R2-D2's name?
It's R2-D2.
C-3PO is named C-3PO.
Guess what doesn't exist in Star Wars anymore?
The alphanumeric characters R, D, C, P, O, 2, and 3.
Practically every droid in Star Wars has a name made from alphanumeric characters which George Lucas has decreed don't exist.
These are the letters of Aurebesh:
Aurek
Besh
Cresh
Dorn
Esk
Forn
Grek
Herf
Isk
Jenth
Krill
Leth
Mern
Nern
Osk
Peth
Qek
Resh
Senth
Trill
Usk
Vev
Wesk
Yirt
Zerek
Cherek
Enth
Onith
Krenth
Nen
Orenth
Shen
Thesh
So....
IG-88? : nope. Can't have.
R5-D4? : nuh-uh. Not Yours.
You can take all your pointless CGI add-ons, and Greedo Shooting first and shove them aside, because to my mind, this is the real slap-upside-the-head idiot decision.
Because now, every time someone in a Star Wars movie says a droid's name out loud, it's just one more reminder that George Lucas really was an idiot.
#StillBernie ?
Posted 9 years agoSo, here's a curious thing.
If you've been following our traffic accident of a Presidential race at all, you may have seen that after the Democratic Convention, the Bernie Sanders movement spun off into an organization known as Our Revolution.
Well, someone pointed me to their website a little while ago - and a very specific page on it.
https://go.berniesanders.com/page/s.....tition-sign-up
It appears that Our Revolution have collected the necessary signatures to get Bernie Sanders onto the Presidential ballot in at least thirteen states, including important swing states like Ohio, Virginia, and Pennsylvania.
...and my state, Delaware.
...which means, I may yet be able to vote Bernie for President.
Can he win with just these few states? I haven't run the numbers, but my gut reaction is doubtful.
On the other hand...
Polls show Sanders would win in a landslide:
http://usuncut.news/2016/09/04/poll.....-by-landslide/
And while this tidbit doesn't seem to have made it into the major news feeds... A whole bunch of Bernie supporters who were likely to hold their nose and vote Hillary, could be walking into voting booths and discovering Hey! I get to vote Bernie after all!
I'll just have to wait and see if Bernie's name is actually there on the ballot come election day. I suspect that if there is the slightest chance that it could be, then the Clinton campaign are probably, right now, mobilizing the forces of hell in an effort to prevent that from happening.
This... could get interesting.
If you've been following our traffic accident of a Presidential race at all, you may have seen that after the Democratic Convention, the Bernie Sanders movement spun off into an organization known as Our Revolution.
Well, someone pointed me to their website a little while ago - and a very specific page on it.
https://go.berniesanders.com/page/s.....tition-sign-up
It appears that Our Revolution have collected the necessary signatures to get Bernie Sanders onto the Presidential ballot in at least thirteen states, including important swing states like Ohio, Virginia, and Pennsylvania.
...and my state, Delaware.
...which means, I may yet be able to vote Bernie for President.
Can he win with just these few states? I haven't run the numbers, but my gut reaction is doubtful.
On the other hand...
Polls show Sanders would win in a landslide:
http://usuncut.news/2016/09/04/poll.....-by-landslide/
And while this tidbit doesn't seem to have made it into the major news feeds... A whole bunch of Bernie supporters who were likely to hold their nose and vote Hillary, could be walking into voting booths and discovering Hey! I get to vote Bernie after all!
I'll just have to wait and see if Bernie's name is actually there on the ballot come election day. I suspect that if there is the slightest chance that it could be, then the Clinton campaign are probably, right now, mobilizing the forces of hell in an effort to prevent that from happening.
This... could get interesting.
My two-bit comic is no longer two bits
Posted 9 years agoHiya everybody, this is the moderator of doom speaking.
I just posted a notice about this to the Evil Twin Patreon, but I figure I should mention it here, too.
Earlier this week, I was contacted by a patron who informed me that the two lower pledge levels I had set up for Evil Twin, those being twenty five cents and fifty cents respectively, were no longer able to be used. Patreon has now limited pledges to a minimum of one dollar.
And after contacting Patreon to ask if this was the case, I was informed that yes, it was. Patreon has to pay a fee for each transaction, and pledges below a dollar cost more for them to accept than they were making from them. It was putting them into the red, so they had to raise the lower limit to a dollar.
And I've just now noticed that they've actively removed the lower two pledge levels from my Patreon.
Anyway, what this means is I'm going to have to change my pledge levels.
This is what I'm thinking:
$1 - minion level
$2 - senior minion level
$5 - executive minion level
Most of the minions are already signed up at the $1 level. I have three who aren't, and I'm hoping I don't lose them over this.
In the meantime, what do you folks think of those pledge levels? I asked the minions for their input. I suspect I should also get some input from the public at large though.
The benefits would remain largely unchanged - in that there are no benefits other than being able to feel smug and superior to the mere mortals who surround you. Oh, and there's an award certificate you can print out and hang on your wall. It's on the Patreon buried under a pile of comics, you'll have to dig for it.
So post your comments, criticisms, and suggestions.
Thanks, all.
I just posted a notice about this to the Evil Twin Patreon, but I figure I should mention it here, too.
Earlier this week, I was contacted by a patron who informed me that the two lower pledge levels I had set up for Evil Twin, those being twenty five cents and fifty cents respectively, were no longer able to be used. Patreon has now limited pledges to a minimum of one dollar.
And after contacting Patreon to ask if this was the case, I was informed that yes, it was. Patreon has to pay a fee for each transaction, and pledges below a dollar cost more for them to accept than they were making from them. It was putting them into the red, so they had to raise the lower limit to a dollar.
And I've just now noticed that they've actively removed the lower two pledge levels from my Patreon.
Anyway, what this means is I'm going to have to change my pledge levels.
This is what I'm thinking:
$1 - minion level
$2 - senior minion level
$5 - executive minion level
Most of the minions are already signed up at the $1 level. I have three who aren't, and I'm hoping I don't lose them over this.
In the meantime, what do you folks think of those pledge levels? I asked the minions for their input. I suspect I should also get some input from the public at large though.
The benefits would remain largely unchanged - in that there are no benefits other than being able to feel smug and superior to the mere mortals who surround you. Oh, and there's an award certificate you can print out and hang on your wall. It's on the Patreon buried under a pile of comics, you'll have to dig for it.
So post your comments, criticisms, and suggestions.
Thanks, all.
