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Tell you that youre good enough...
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJRbRSNldzI
And tell you that its gonna be tough.
(Just a side note, This reminds me of The Death card from reading Tarot the past few months. The End is not a final saying. It is part of a cycle that symbolizes the cleansing that allows New Things to be birthed. Do not be afraid of the end. And do not fear that the end will bring a different path, but may allow the path to grow. Give it time.)
So in 3 days I will be a totally free man again! I got a job working at Victorias Secret, hell yeah! Got girls swarmin' around me at work and outside of work. It's great and all, but none has really caught my eye.
I'm planning on having a celebratory party in New Orleans. Get a keg, get some people. But before that Ive got a friend that wants to help end my sobriety the right way: with Blunts and Bongs! She knows the cure fo' sho'!
And tell you that its gonna be tough.
(Just a side note, This reminds me of The Death card from reading Tarot the past few months. The End is not a final saying. It is part of a cycle that symbolizes the cleansing that allows New Things to be birthed. Do not be afraid of the end. And do not fear that the end will bring a different path, but may allow the path to grow. Give it time.)
So in 3 days I will be a totally free man again! I got a job working at Victorias Secret, hell yeah! Got girls swarmin' around me at work and outside of work. It's great and all, but none has really caught my eye.
I'm planning on having a celebratory party in New Orleans. Get a keg, get some people. But before that Ive got a friend that wants to help end my sobriety the right way: with Blunts and Bongs! She knows the cure fo' sho'!
Just so you know...
General | Posted 14 years agohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x70T7QYhQyE
... I was thinking of you.
Kings of Leon has been a voice in the dark for me for quite some time. Helped me find happiness when I couldnt figure out how even when nothing was wrong, taught me that its okay to be honest with how you feel even if no one can tell what you are feeling, and have given me a way to remember the better times.
4 days left till I can get back into the game. I've been busy making plans and deciding what to do once I can get places. I'm ready to face this new time in my life, no matter how upset some things will get me. I'm still rad, I'm physically fit, I'm still me, I'm still King
... I was thinking of you.
Kings of Leon has been a voice in the dark for me for quite some time. Helped me find happiness when I couldnt figure out how even when nothing was wrong, taught me that its okay to be honest with how you feel even if no one can tell what you are feeling, and have given me a way to remember the better times.
4 days left till I can get back into the game. I've been busy making plans and deciding what to do once I can get places. I'm ready to face this new time in my life, no matter how upset some things will get me. I'm still rad, I'm physically fit, I'm still me, I'm still King
The Blues of Old
General | Posted 14 years agoSo the past few journals are supposed to be in a text format but I was too lazy to do so. And one post is part of this on going dream that I have been having.
But in light of recent events, my creative spark has been lit again. I've been talking with my cousin who has been learning the Blues. As we both have been dealing with love escaping our lives, and a new chapter is about to be ushered into my life, we decided to work on the Blues together. I'll be writing lyrics (which is what my journals had been).
I have begun studying The Tarot recently, which speaks to my belief of the subconsciousness of the universe (what is commonly known more as the humans sixth sense, or for tarot sake of numerology of random numerical conscious of the universe), and it has shown that I needed to make an ultimatum for my situation. And I did last night. And as I expected, things turned out the same as the last time this happened but outside forces are different. I am hoping that this will allow for a fresh start down the line. But all will come in time.
As for my on running dream. I wish I had been chronically writing it down, but my memory serves me well. Things are not so well in my dream world as my character had become separated from his traveling party. But a spark of hope came two nights ago as one came back, but he is struggling to remember.
I also need to get the first part of the story back so I can edit and tune it up to put online.
So in addition to entering the job market again, I have plenty of creative energy now, new objective of my physical fitness training, and the forever hopeless romantic outlook of my life.
Peace
But in light of recent events, my creative spark has been lit again. I've been talking with my cousin who has been learning the Blues. As we both have been dealing with love escaping our lives, and a new chapter is about to be ushered into my life, we decided to work on the Blues together. I'll be writing lyrics (which is what my journals had been).
I have begun studying The Tarot recently, which speaks to my belief of the subconsciousness of the universe (what is commonly known more as the humans sixth sense, or for tarot sake of numerology of random numerical conscious of the universe), and it has shown that I needed to make an ultimatum for my situation. And I did last night. And as I expected, things turned out the same as the last time this happened but outside forces are different. I am hoping that this will allow for a fresh start down the line. But all will come in time.
As for my on running dream. I wish I had been chronically writing it down, but my memory serves me well. Things are not so well in my dream world as my character had become separated from his traveling party. But a spark of hope came two nights ago as one came back, but he is struggling to remember.
I also need to get the first part of the story back so I can edit and tune it up to put online.
So in addition to entering the job market again, I have plenty of creative energy now, new objective of my physical fitness training, and the forever hopeless romantic outlook of my life.
Peace
Sad is Happy
General | Posted 14 years agoTime and time again,
back here I beg for you.
Time and time again,
I would do anything for you.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when its sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
Im happy to do this,
to go through this.
Bear the pain you endured,
to show you Im strong enough.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when its sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
Run off, run on,
run back, run fast.
You dropped your change,
to pay the toll,
to step back for one more go.
How many times must it go, on.
And how many times must I show, love.
When will you see, what I, what I have,
was only meant one being.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when it sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
back here I beg for you.
Time and time again,
I would do anything for you.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when its sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
Im happy to do this,
to go through this.
Bear the pain you endured,
to show you Im strong enough.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when its sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
Run off, run on,
run back, run fast.
You dropped your change,
to pay the toll,
to step back for one more go.
How many times must it go, on.
And how many times must I show, love.
When will you see, what I, what I have,
was only meant one being.
When it hurts, when it burns,
when it sad,
Its happy. Its happy.
Puppy love (is a lie)
General | Posted 14 years agoSo here it is again,
it takes you away.
Makes you forget,
but doesn't make you heal.
These coming and goings,
that's all they do.
So, will you take the cake,
and eat it too?
Puppy loves,
and puppy snuggles.
Pet names go so well,
takes your mind away,
from what is really there.
Toss it aside,
set it ablaze.
When the phoenix rises,
you'll see again,
puppy love for it,
would never be again.
Puppy love, and puppy snuggles,
fire burns, and turns to rubble.
Phoenix flies to see again.
A life burned for a new one again.
Puppy love, or the phoenix?
Which will it be?
The lie, or the dream?
it takes you away.
Makes you forget,
but doesn't make you heal.
These coming and goings,
that's all they do.
So, will you take the cake,
and eat it too?
Puppy loves,
and puppy snuggles.
Pet names go so well,
takes your mind away,
from what is really there.
Toss it aside,
set it ablaze.
When the phoenix rises,
you'll see again,
puppy love for it,
would never be again.
Puppy love, and puppy snuggles,
fire burns, and turns to rubble.
Phoenix flies to see again.
A life burned for a new one again.
Puppy love, or the phoenix?
Which will it be?
The lie, or the dream?
The endless dreams
General | Posted 14 years agoMy memories were my fuel now. My body could not even remember the directions. I built this world that I am lost in now. Desperately trying to find my way back. The alley is crowded with girls taking down information, as the patrons wait for their turn in the club. As this club filled with games and even more assholes just playing the machine. I notice one in particular, like I knew him from somewhere. He wouldn't win tonight. Not if I had anything to say.
I pulled a chair up close, not speaking, not letting my eyes glance. He turn arrives and I see my chance. I hit his button, furiously and quick. I only had to take the one move to bring balance back to the room. I see it in people's eyes, grateful for what I had done. The man furious that his fun was ruined. I saved him the time. For he too would loose his memories of this soon.
I wish I could hear her speak again as I move away to my next destination. The old bridge was quite a distance away. I kept going back expecting an answer. But I could not remember. I used the wrong fuel for this trip. A trip I do not remember taking. I only knew it was to find something I loved.
I knew a hurricane had come right before the invasion took place. Flooding, shooting, fighting. One sanctuary had been left that I found solitude in. Other fought a futile battle outside. All I could do was watch. The medicine that sustained my ability to remember kept me going. But I was unable to hold out. My mind warped and twisted to this world.
I found my usual way in through an underground tunnel, leading into the plaza in front of the great fountain. My friends found a way out. I never knew if they made it. I do not even know if it was right to escape from here. My answer sheet still left clear. No, not left clear. It had been cleared. My own fault for that.
I made my way to the top, the velvet and marbled hall where the kitchen could be found. I never looked out the windows. If I was found, I would loose my last memory. And all that would be left is an empty building, with an empty man.
The streets were still flooded in some areas, that much I knew. Too much water was blocking my view from seeing a stable footing. I enjoyed having the water around me but I yearned for my ground again. The cracking and empty streets could not fill the void. The new life I found made me feel even more empty that I could imagine. I knew there would be a way out, just as there was a way in. Trying to find it, thats the biggest mystery for me now.
I pulled a chair up close, not speaking, not letting my eyes glance. He turn arrives and I see my chance. I hit his button, furiously and quick. I only had to take the one move to bring balance back to the room. I see it in people's eyes, grateful for what I had done. The man furious that his fun was ruined. I saved him the time. For he too would loose his memories of this soon.
I wish I could hear her speak again as I move away to my next destination. The old bridge was quite a distance away. I kept going back expecting an answer. But I could not remember. I used the wrong fuel for this trip. A trip I do not remember taking. I only knew it was to find something I loved.
I knew a hurricane had come right before the invasion took place. Flooding, shooting, fighting. One sanctuary had been left that I found solitude in. Other fought a futile battle outside. All I could do was watch. The medicine that sustained my ability to remember kept me going. But I was unable to hold out. My mind warped and twisted to this world.
I found my usual way in through an underground tunnel, leading into the plaza in front of the great fountain. My friends found a way out. I never knew if they made it. I do not even know if it was right to escape from here. My answer sheet still left clear. No, not left clear. It had been cleared. My own fault for that.
I made my way to the top, the velvet and marbled hall where the kitchen could be found. I never looked out the windows. If I was found, I would loose my last memory. And all that would be left is an empty building, with an empty man.
The streets were still flooded in some areas, that much I knew. Too much water was blocking my view from seeing a stable footing. I enjoyed having the water around me but I yearned for my ground again. The cracking and empty streets could not fill the void. The new life I found made me feel even more empty that I could imagine. I knew there would be a way out, just as there was a way in. Trying to find it, thats the biggest mystery for me now.
Man behind a screen
General | Posted 14 years agoWhen it hides,
it thrives.
A misguided ride,
on the road of good intent.
Look inside and be honest,
Does the electric highway
really give the view you wish?
You lost something,
along the way.
You find it, in a way,
to replace, not retrace.
Refresh, and browse again,
another face to be seen,
behind a screen.
The llama is calling,
drawing you near.
Did it have to be like this,
if the truth was not saved?
The face behind the screen,
was never to be seen.
Closer than a thought,
closer in your dreams.
Refresh, and browse again,
your electric highway,
you will find your answer,
in the words that end here.
it thrives.
A misguided ride,
on the road of good intent.
Look inside and be honest,
Does the electric highway
really give the view you wish?
You lost something,
along the way.
You find it, in a way,
to replace, not retrace.
Refresh, and browse again,
another face to be seen,
behind a screen.
The llama is calling,
drawing you near.
Did it have to be like this,
if the truth was not saved?
The face behind the screen,
was never to be seen.
Closer than a thought,
closer in your dreams.
Refresh, and browse again,
your electric highway,
you will find your answer,
in the words that end here.
Allah for Blues
General | Posted 14 years agoSo what was it
a disguise to keep me safe,
a lie to to save face?
Where did it go
And what did you do?
The opposite was true.
The basic truth I gave to you,
it came right back at me.
Where did it go
Where was the meaning,
what did it mean?
Just a blink,
an innocent moment.
Where did it go
When the the words end,
they become just a face on a screen,
When what was there,
Was a dream destined for blues.
Where will it be?
Right where you left it,
the distance apparent,
your repellent never enough.
It was always there
Where did it go
Right here
a disguise to keep me safe,
a lie to to save face?
Where did it go
And what did you do?
The opposite was true.
The basic truth I gave to you,
it came right back at me.
Where did it go
Where was the meaning,
what did it mean?
Just a blink,
an innocent moment.
Where did it go
When the the words end,
they become just a face on a screen,
When what was there,
Was a dream destined for blues.
Where will it be?
Right where you left it,
the distance apparent,
your repellent never enough.
It was always there
Where did it go
Right here
Prologue: The Speed of Nowhere
General | Posted 14 years agoThe Speed of Nowhere
Prologue
Huh, what is this?
Oh, this again. I remember this. Has it been that long?
Things are about to change. Will they change? Will they repeat? Will changes come to pass so the past can come alive?
Please, don’t turn the light on. Not yet. I don’t want to see the future. I am afraid of what will happen. In the dark, I can see the past easier.
There’s no ground beneath my feet now. Feels like the sky. Feels out of place. I do not feel like myself right now.
Did I forget? And what did I forget? Did something change?
Not the light… I can feel it coming. I can hear a voice calling. Sounds so distant now. But I have heard it before. Back then it called to me. What happened, where did things go wrong? Or did they go right… not sure anymore.
That’s why I can’t go forward yet. I have to know.
Prologue
Huh, what is this?
Oh, this again. I remember this. Has it been that long?
Things are about to change. Will they change? Will they repeat? Will changes come to pass so the past can come alive?
Please, don’t turn the light on. Not yet. I don’t want to see the future. I am afraid of what will happen. In the dark, I can see the past easier.
There’s no ground beneath my feet now. Feels like the sky. Feels out of place. I do not feel like myself right now.
Did I forget? And what did I forget? Did something change?
Not the light… I can feel it coming. I can hear a voice calling. Sounds so distant now. But I have heard it before. Back then it called to me. What happened, where did things go wrong? Or did they go right… not sure anymore.
That’s why I can’t go forward yet. I have to know.
The Speed of Nowhere
General | Posted 14 years agoIm rehashing my profile and getting a new fursona!
To start off, I'm a beginning writer. Well, not beginning, I've had a lot of success writing in college. But my creative juices get going when I use pen and ink - but I have horrible handwriting. But recently something has been calling me to try to write again, and I hope some people find something more than just entertainment in my stories.
In real life the characters would be changed into non-furs but here they certaintly will
Will there be sex? Come on, of course there will be! Some more than others but count on it.
A little about myself now maybe?
I've graduated college and I'm working on a way to move out of LA and go to OR. Why Oregon? Im a huge believer in medical marijuana. Ive got chronic back pain from getting rear ended 3 years ago. The wonderful herb has done miracles and I want to move where it's legal, where its cleaner, and out of the swamp and into a forest!
I am a true geek in my own ways (but without being a creepy). I love love love anime, playing video games, going to the movies, keeping up with new computer technology, and a HUGE Magic: The Gathering fan/player/deck builder.
I like to live in my head a lot, which can be trouble for me. Which is why I've grown to make and keep connections with the best people I come across in life. But I dream often of romance, and not like love romance, at least not all the time. But rather something fanciful and meaningful.
I am an Empath. I feel and understand other peoples feelings. It may be a downfall, for myself. But I am a nice guy and treat everyone with respect and love. If you were a girl I'd open the door for you, car door, retail store doors, doesnt matter. I live by a code of chivalry. If you were a guy, I'd greet you with a hearty hand shake and take the time to listen and let you be you.
You'll probably see a lot of these examples and be able to relate the stories to who and what I am.
Look for the first story soon, and thank you for reading, I hope you come again to catch "The Speed of Nowhere" which will be my first full length short story. Salute!
Also feel free to add me to AIM, any and all imputs or critiques will be welcome!
To start off, I'm a beginning writer. Well, not beginning, I've had a lot of success writing in college. But my creative juices get going when I use pen and ink - but I have horrible handwriting. But recently something has been calling me to try to write again, and I hope some people find something more than just entertainment in my stories.
In real life the characters would be changed into non-furs but here they certaintly will
Will there be sex? Come on, of course there will be! Some more than others but count on it.
A little about myself now maybe?
I've graduated college and I'm working on a way to move out of LA and go to OR. Why Oregon? Im a huge believer in medical marijuana. Ive got chronic back pain from getting rear ended 3 years ago. The wonderful herb has done miracles and I want to move where it's legal, where its cleaner, and out of the swamp and into a forest!
I am a true geek in my own ways (but without being a creepy). I love love love anime, playing video games, going to the movies, keeping up with new computer technology, and a HUGE Magic: The Gathering fan/player/deck builder.
I like to live in my head a lot, which can be trouble for me. Which is why I've grown to make and keep connections with the best people I come across in life. But I dream often of romance, and not like love romance, at least not all the time. But rather something fanciful and meaningful.
I am an Empath. I feel and understand other peoples feelings. It may be a downfall, for myself. But I am a nice guy and treat everyone with respect and love. If you were a girl I'd open the door for you, car door, retail store doors, doesnt matter. I live by a code of chivalry. If you were a guy, I'd greet you with a hearty hand shake and take the time to listen and let you be you.
You'll probably see a lot of these examples and be able to relate the stories to who and what I am.
Look for the first story soon, and thank you for reading, I hope you come again to catch "The Speed of Nowhere" which will be my first full length short story. Salute!
Also feel free to add me to AIM, any and all imputs or critiques will be welcome!
