Alright, so this isn't exactly 100% accurate. It's hard to say *definitively* when the character Caerulus first came into existence. I picked the name for myself long before I ever had the character drawn, and I had been working on the character's design for years before I had even settled on a name. By my estimate, it took approximately 3 years for me to finalize Caeru's name and design; it was only once both his name and design remained unchanged in my own mine for nearly a full, solid year that I finally decided "if I haven't wanted to make any changes by now, I think it's safe to say I'm happy with what I've created." Because of that very long creation process, it's hard to say exactly when Caeru became a thing.

HOWEVER.

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the first piece of art of Caeru I have ever posted on this account.

That counts for... something?

If you want to get even more technical, there was a "preview" of Caeru seen here before I had approved the final version of the picture. One could argue that's the first time Caeru was shown to the world.

It's really hard to say.

Either way, in a way, I'm not sure if I'm more surprised that it's been this long, or if I'm more surprised that it's been this short.

But here's to five more years and beyond, because Caeru is very much a part of who I am, and that sure as hell isn't changing any time soon.

I loved that cat. I loved her so fucking much. And the way she was always so happy to see me, I could tell she loved me back.

I... wanted to post something here in memory of her. But right now I don't feel like I can. There's both so much I want to say, yet at the same I know saying even absolutely everything won't change that she's gone.

She was my favorite cat. I never wanted her sisters to get the impression that she was the favorite, but there was no fucking doubt in my mind that she was. She was just so damn lovable.

She was always so chill and calm. Quiet too; I sometimes wished she meowed more, but I guess that's because it was so rare that I got to hear her meow.

When she died... when she was dying... in her final moments, she was gasping for breath. The way her body would tense up though, and how she opened her mouth, I honestly don't know if it was about breathing or meowing. The more that moment replays itself in my head, the more it seems like she was trying with her last dying breaths to meow.

And I genuinely can only think of two reasons she would do that.

Either she was terrified... or she could tell how upset I was... and was trying to comfort me...

I can't write any more. I'm crying too hard thinking about it.

Please, if you have a cat--hell, if you have any pet you love... go make sure they know it.

I miss her so fucking much right now.

A dramal.

Caerulus is a dramal.

Just a quick journal to announce I've finally settled on a name for his species. I'll probably detail more of just what the fuck a dramal is sometime later when I'm not half asleep. I'll also provably continue to answer the question "what is Caeru" with a brief description like "what if dragons were mammals" since just saying "a dramal" would be followed up with "what the fuck is a dramal?" I'll also likely continue to call him a kittehdragon because kittehdragon mew mew purr.

But yeah, Caeru's species: dramal.

I'm not sure what purpose this serves.

When you're having a really intense battle with someone online.

It's down to the wire.

All it would take is one small mistake and it would all be over.

Then there's a sudden loud noise outside.