Thank you everyone for your amazing support!

I got everyone's comms down so i look forward to getting them to you asap!

You're the best!

Hiya guys

I don't like making these journals ever but I need to ask for some help.

The situation is that my roommate is in the process of getting a new job but they can't afford to pay for their medical appointments or their car payments right now. They are going to receive a job soon that will pay but for now they have to go through the process of paperwork, orientation, and whatever else they have to deal with until they finally get it next month.
They are a hard worker. They spent their time and resources to rescue me from a bad situation in Alabama and I'm receiving my own help. They've been nothing but a positive outlook on my life and helped me get back on my feet.
I'm asking if there's anyone who can help us out, I want to help them make sure they can pay rent and bills on time. The soonest they need help with payment is next week.
I'm going to help them pay for everything they need, They helped me out so much that I won't be happy until they can live peacefully.

If there's anyone out there who follows me who is willing and able to pitch in to help us with rent I need to earn roughly $600 to cover the cost of the rent for them as well as their bills.

I'll have a slot system meant for emergency commissions and only take 5 at a time so i don't get overwhelmed and make sure they are each done in a quick and easy way for everyone. I'll make sure i schedule them out so if anything comes up i'll let you know everything.

If you need me to finish more work or finish something for you please let me know, i'll be more than happy to get your work all done right away!
If you can't contribute then just thank you for reading this. It means so much to me to make sure everyone gets everything they want as soon as possible.

You guys are the best, I wouldn't be here without your love and support for years to come and while i may be distant or silent most of the time, I deeply care about all of you everyday.

I'll make sure this isn't a recurring issue, Living here feels easier to handle than ever so this wont be something that happens often at all. This isn't something we expected and I'll make sure we can handle it together.


Thank you and I'll put the slots down here and update this journal as we continue our journey together!


Slots----
1.TheStarThatInnuendos (x)
2.Grekeuce (x)
3.whitewolfcommando (o)
4.Anonymous (o)
5.Anon (o)

$520/$1,200
Here's the goal!
I'll leave notes and other things beyond here:
***
First slot taken! Thank you!

Legend:
(o) picked but not started
(x) started and paid
(@) completed awaiting response

I'll remove users from the list as i get them done rather than have a completed marking

For any questions please don't hesitate to DM me or even add me to discord: byondrage
I may be locked into working so if id ont get to you right away just know i'm doing my best to get you more art!

**UPDATE**
So far so good! I will have to increase the amount i need to earn since me and my roommate have appointments coming up that will be around $250 for the appointment and the medication for both of us. Plus they have to pay for their car insurance on Sunday so i need to earn another $200 for that. I dont want to leave anything off the table in case i need more help. I apologize but after double checking the numbers i defintely need to step up my game! I'll do my best for all of you!

Thank you so much! Please stay safe and know that i care about you and I want you to be happy and creative!

Good News, turns out I can see a pysch without an ID immediately, this means a few things.

I need more assistance, (300$ to see the Psych / get the meds).
Everyones art will be getting completed faster.

The goal has moved closer than i anticipated but i'll still make sure I get my Real ID as well!

For everyone still waiting, you won't have to wait much longer, I want to give back to everyone who's believed in me by giving you a new outlook on the future.

Byondrage, has just started.

Time to head to the garden of madness...

Hello everyone!

I know it's been a long time, been trying to figure out what i need to do for everyone who has followed me, supported me, and given me the tools i need to move forward and provide the content we all love together. I have deduced that my struggles have a very good solution and I can get them soon!
I have severe ADHD symptoms, where i'm spending most of my time struggling to stay on task due to overloading of thoughts i'm incapable of controlling on my good days and barely able to handle on my bad ones. I don't have anxiety, i don't have emotional issues, my problems are entirely down to pulling my thoughts together and keeping them quiet in the slightest. My overwhelm and trouble doing much of anything comes down to my ability to calm down my thoughts.

This isn't an excuse, it's an explanation. I have a way to solve it but I just want everyone to know why i have issues updating, uploading, or just staying on one thing for as much as i can (projects, comics, etc). I'm reaching out to ask everyone if you have supported me for this long that you stick by with me just a little longer through this final hurdle. I am without proper ID and information i need to see a doctor about everything but i'm filing for all my information, getting things updated and moving on from my past. Today I made sure i got my banks secured, and while i can't do anything today I will get things mailed in and kept safely by my side.

As soon as i can get the help i need i'll be the me i have always dreamed of, able to get work done, able to update everyone everyday, make projects, make more content faster and better. This is the future i want to bring everyone. At longest, It may take a month but it needs to be done. I need to move on from my parents holding all my information and just have it myself. I'm 32 and i'm sick of feeling like i'm constantly held back by something i could've just solved if i had the chance. Now is the time to truly take hold of my future and steer everything in the right direction.

I couldn't have done any of this without the support of all of you, and my new roommate who is been helping me ever since i met them. First as my commissioner, then a good friend, and now my good friend and roommate. Thank you man, I couldn't make this happen without you.

A BRIGHTER FUTURE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

<3!!!

Heya guys! I'm all set and moved.
Our room has issues with the AC but we'll do everything we can.

I'm hard at work starting tonight to get people's work done!
If anyone could help us out with some funding to take care of the last few things we need (standing fan, new desk and new chair)
We got someone to help us with pricing but anyone who can help us out with commissions will be super SUPER helpful!\

I'm currently using what the new roommates provided but i'd love to do more for them since they were so nice in helping us.

I owe it to you guys and them to work hard for everyone's enjoyment!

Anyone able to buy or help i'm more than happy to get you something asap!

Thank you!

Hey guys

I apologize i haven't been able to update recently. This place me and my wife are staying at is terrible and has been a factor in our current ability to move forward. The power has been cutting out every other week and today it was out for a full 6 hours with no air conditioning or any way to stay cool during this heat.

I must ask everyone to bare with us until we've moved come the 19th and into a better place with less expenses and (HOPEFULLY) less hassle with the apartments themselves.

I'll do my best to keep everyone updated but today i need more rest. It's not going well until we move.

My condolences to everyone currently struggling, i hear you and i want to do what i can to help.

Until then i wish you all luck and happiness in the next coming days.

Love you all
<3

Okay so the apartments are sending maintenance workers to "change the outlets" and i actually can't move everything out of the way because most of them are broken and i dont have enough storage to move anything. Why can't they wait until we move out? This sucks.

Hey everyone,

Just a heads-up—I’m gonna be wiped out and might be slower on commissions for a while. The neighbors in this connected building have renovators hammering away from 8 AM to 8 PM every day, and I don’t know how long it’s gonna go. It’s non-stop noise, and yesterday they screwed up enough to make my ceiling leak water. I’m still grinding on your stuff, but focusing’s a nightmare with this chaos. Thanks for sticking with me—I’ll update you when it quiets down.

Love you all so much for sticking with me! <3

Heya guys.
I thought i could get through this last week just fine if i stuck to it, but i might need just a little more help.
I have to earn $250 in the next 3 days to pay rent.
AFter that i'll try and earn everything i can to pay bills too i just ask if you are willing to help out I'll get everything done as soon as they come up.
I've been trying to exercise and practice mindfullness so i can provide more for everyone.

I really love you guys so much you've always helped me out so if there's anything i can do better please let me know.
Thank you so much.

Love you guys.

I'm starting to do better from the sickness and there's hoping coming soon from some close friends so I'll hold out longer again. Soon as things get better i can shoot forward again. Until then i'll do everything i can to help and create beautiful art for you <3

I'll get back on working on all the commissions i planned on finishing after xmas <3

Love you guys <3

Hey guys!
I wouldn't normally be making a journal about getting sick cuz i just tough it out but I'm feeling like this one is really taking a toll on my ability to work. Normally i can power through a stomach flu but this one really hurts. I really want to get whatever i can for people finished though so please bare with me while i continue to work with the flu symptoms and still get you your amazing artwork.

Love you guys, I apologize if I slow down but hopefully the symptoms will die down and i'll feel better in the next few days.
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday week and weekend and spend time with your loved ones, your friends, and those who always support you.

Happy 2024 Xmas everyone <3

Hi guys...
So if you remember when i was admitted to the mental hospital, i remember specifically telling them i dont want to be admitted if they were going to charge me.
I got the bills for my medical visit.

First of all, they sent these out at a time where i had no idea when this would happen.
I got them just today.
They got me billed for $918.27 for the hospital visit they took me to.
plus an "EMERGENCY DEPT VISIT" for $91.82
and i also have a bill for my x-ray they took of me for $40

totaling up to:
$1,050.09

If there is anyone who is able to buy commissions or heck even donate i'm willing to do whatever it takes.
This was going to be used to get me and neko home and now we're basically back where we started.

I'll do my best to take care of Neko in this really bad time.
Take care everyone.

Love you.

Heya guys.
Neko needs my help real bad, i need to save up and get us moved back home to get them the help they need. For those that don't know, my wife struggles with bone and nerve conditions, as well as mental health issues made worse by the pain. So much so that they have free health insurance through the government, but it only applies in oregon.
We have a place we could stay with a family member we trust. Neko's mom is offering tolet us stay there in the famillys spare house. The only problem is we need funds to secure a way back with everything intact. We estimate getting our needed essentials, computer parts, clothes, bedding if possible, be about $2,000 total (is what we're guessing from the move here, but we're going to be looking into it).
I'm basically going to be head to the grindstone until those funds are made, will have to cancel out of any plans i made with people for personal enjoyment so i can get everyone's pieces finished. I know i'm behind right now but that's why i want to really make a better tomorrow for Neko's future. I'll give up some things i normally do just so i can work harder, i can't let anything slow me down so i can help the people i care most about.

Love you guys so much, I wouldn't be here without you, so if you can contribute via commissions i can work with you while i clear everything. I'll try and upload every day, show you guys how much i'm working. The road to health and success lies in hard work and passion. I'm passionate about work and i'm passionate about my loved ones.

I love Neko, and I love you all who enjoy my content, even if i never met you it means the world to me.

I'll check my PMs and notifications daily between morning or night, soon as i figure that out. So feel free to ask me any questions, if i can answer them i'll make sure i do.

Thank you, love you all ❤️

Heya guys!
I'm hoping to update people as i go with my personal life and my work life.
Today i realize that i'm constantly overwhelming myself with tasks to feel like i have a purpose for myself, It's okay though, I have ideas.
While i'm dealing with my workload and new people i'll be removing myself from most stimuli to use drawing as my only source during work hours.
No youtube, only music if i want anything.
Nothing with video cuz it's distracting, i'll need to take time out of talking to people to make sure i dont spend more time talking than drawing.
I'll make time for talking and discussion about commissions at the beginning and end of my day and some times inbetween.

I'll be working on some more ideas in the meantime but these should prove affective.
To keep myself active on work, i should use my stressball and draw in my sketchbook when i'm needing something else to think about.
It'll take less time to draw something for fun during work than just ignoring it and talking every 3 minutes for 20 minutes straight haha.

So to be honest, i'm very distracted most of the time haha.
it sucks, but i dont mean to do it, but that means, i need to find ways to keep myself from getting distracted. This is the most focus i had to put in today and it does hurt alot to try and stay focused. That having been said, it's still important to get ahead in life.

I know all of you struggle in some way so just know that i'm here with you, we struggle together <3

Love you all so much and thank you for reading <3

Heya guys i wasn't really around or able to draw yesterday, alot of things came to light that makes so much sense i just want to get them off my chest.
For a long time I was always livid or severely depressed at the smallest things, affecting my life with my wife neko and making them think i hate them.
We both talked for a long time and i did alot of self reflecting and after extensive research i definitely understand what's going on.

Now, I need to self diagnose because i can't afford to see a therapist/psychiatrist and i want everyone to try and understand this is the best thing i can go off of based on my childhood, my young adult life, and today all coming together.

I believe that i have BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder, My wife neko has diagnosed BPD and for a long time they asked me to try and consider every possibility before i make assumptions but we both came together and understand each other. My symptoms are definitely similar though we didn't share a similar history they are definitely the same symptoms.

I'm going to do my best to myself and for my wife, Now more than ever it's extremely important to me that people don't take this as an excuse, i'm not excusing anything i've done. I'll work as hard as i can to make up everything i've ever done wrong. What i'm asking is that people understand that if i dissappear, if i ever pause my uploads, if i start posting depressing or angry posts, i'm not mad at anyone more than myself.

It's taking alot to just write this message but I need to be fair to myself and to you all too.
I'll continue to be the greatest animator/artist i can be, and i'm recently picking up another outlet to help me through this.

To those of you who are confused, angry, scared, or panicking at the littlest things thinking something will go wrong or someone will hurt you, it's okay.
We're in this together alright? I love and care about all of you even if i have never spoken to you, texted you, or ever knew you were there. You are valid.

From now on if i go quiet i want it to be because i'm creating beautiful art for all of you.

Thank you I think i got everything off my chest.
I will keep arting, i wont stop, i wont let myself fall behind either.

Love you guys, you are my reason i'm alive, my wife neko is why i love, and i want to change the world with you.

Hey guys
I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has been supportive and commenting and even faving my work when i post them.
It means the world to me every single person who likes and wants to see more of my work.

I'm in the process of clearing out everyone's commissions and a few of them are animations

Normally i try to make a good amount of time it would take to do something but sometimes i get ambitious or i have to redo a bunch of scenes or i spend too long on a few frames i shouldn't have. Animation basically takes alot of time because i'm hoping to make something better and better each time i do it.
This is just me letting everyone know that if you are currently waiting on me to provide you some animation for a commission, don't worry i didn't forget you <3
I"m just taking alot of consideration for what your work should be and how much i should make sure i put into it. While I can't be perfect all the time, i always strive for high quality no matter what i make.
I'm hoping that by explaining this that people will understand i'm not trying to make you wait or like i don't care, simply that I am a perfectionist. I will do whatever it takes to get the perfect creation made even if i dont know how. I might take too long studying or practicing before actually doing the animation and i apologize. I know it's not okay to make my clients and friends wait on me for things simply because i want to try harder after making it or almost making it.

I'm hoping to be able to create my best work right now, and then continue to practice after all those pieces are complete.
While i think everyone should seek to improve themselves no matter what, we have to also do what we can right now for those interested in what we can do right now too.

Thank you for reading, i want to create a future where I can always provide right now rather than hopefully soon.

<3

So now my paypal account got hit.
$1,000 taken straight out and i have to wait to see if i can get it back in time.
All the money i saved up to make rent and bills is gone so i have to work even harder. I will be streaming more often and working as much as i can. I may not be able to be as social as before but I'll do my best to get to everyone i can.
I appreciate you all so much and It means so much to me that you've been here to help me. I will do my best to not let you down despite this happening.

Commissions or donations would be wonderful
I would just ask for any kinda support be it kind words or just a heart <3

I'll do everything i can to help everyone.

Love you all <3

Oh boy..

So i checked the savings account to see if i could get a gift for our roommate and we find out that as of today, someone got into my account and made a pending transaction to a company i never heard of called "asura" and took $240 out of my account, putting it in the negatives.

I sent a request for fraud and i'll check in again in the morning but i need people to know i will be working as hard as i can to make up for the lost money.
This puts an already hard time on all this but i just want you all to know i love and support you all for being here for me.
I will do whatever it takes to get my work to you and make everyone happy.

Commissions or donations are very much appreciated even just a comment would make me happy.

Thank you all so much.
I'll do my best to recover from this and pick myself up.

I've been stressed out and just suddnely getting more sleepy and sick lately. I'm trying to eat right and i'm definitely excercising all the time. I'll try and eat more though. Today i just need to take it easy or i'll probably have another meltdown.
Keep yourself safe. see you tomorrow

Heya all!
I'm doing a long stream and working as hard as i can get to get everyone's things done for hte next 6 days.
I had to get on a system to half my rent so i can afford it.
I need to earn $500 before the month ends or i can't afford to live here.

Anything you can send is perfectly fine i accept paypal and cashapp, feel free to PM me your idea i'll check back frequently to make sure i don't miss anyone.


Even if you can just send your love and hugs i appreciate it, just comment or let your friends know if youc an.
I am a great artist who wants to give you all great and wonderful things I just unfortunately am not doing too well this month <3

I Still want to give you all something to look forward to though so i'll try and post even sketches or things i can in the meantime!

I'll be more proactive, i'll figure out what i can do to make everything even better for my friends and followers.

Love you all and I really hope i can make you all happy soon <3


*Places i stream
https://picarto.tv/RageDraws

$15 Stream Sketches (While i work on Commissions)

https://picarto.tv/RageDraws

Heya guys!

I am going to bust my ass all the rest of the month until i get through all my things.
I'm sick of leaving everything up in the air so i'm going to jsut DO EVERYTHING as FAST and as EFFICIENTLY as possible!!!

I will work so hard to make sure i can get people to trust my turn around rate and i can trust myself to get everyone's things done.

I love you guys and you've been a major inspiration for me to know that i will be safe as long as i work hard and create and upload beautiful work for you (and beautiful fetishes <3)

Love you all and i look forward to a great rest of pride month <3

<3 <3 <3

*I'll take new commissions as they come up and finish them on the spot <3
Anything for you guys ^^ <3

Heya everyone!
I don't like doing this but while i am busy getting everyone's things completed i would like to ask anyone who is willing to help me through some financial troubles to take any kinda picture they'd like. I'll get them done first thing and then continue working through everyone.
I Need to earn about $300 to pay my electric bill and I am unable to get help from anyone else at the moment.
A little bit goes a long way to help me out so even the smallest piece would help alot thank you!

Any of you who want me to finish something before hand please get in contact i'd be more than happy to work with you.

THank you all! <3

Heya guys!
I wanted to make sure everyone was doing okay. I love how much everyone is talking and helping me out. It's amazing!

I am moving so much faster getting my work done so I wanted to let everyone know i'm open for commissions again <3

I'll do my best to get everyone's requests done asap since i move so fast ^^

I love making content for everyone so I look forward to uploading <3

Love you all!

Heya! I feel more recovered from the mugging incident and i thought it would be nice to make a simple update.

I have been trying to figure out why i struggle with attention since the symptoms seems to range from one place to another. I realized i have been able to pay attention and focus when i put in both headphones in my ears. I need to turn up the audio so i can't hear things outside my normal physical hearing range and kinda just have my own space in my mind. I tried for about 6 years to not do that as i want to be aware of the space around me but it was proving impossible to keep up with everyday when i did that. I spend a day to practice being back in that space and now i feel like i can take on the world.

I recently got back into trying it again since anything i had tried before just didn't work. I've got my wife here to support me and i'll support them too.

I'll keep updating people as i'm able and i just want to thank you all for sticking with me and helping me through life and learning more about the world and myself and what my true goals are.

Love you!
<3