So my last video i made was a tough one for me to do, but it ended up working out really well. Not only were people very supportive, but a number of you guys actually helped share it as well. And i really want to thank everyone.

So I decided i will do an AMA (Ask me Anything) in a video. and I will answer one question per person . So if you want to watch me squirm or have an actual question you would like to ask, please do it here or through a note. As long as the question is not offensive, I will answer it in the video. Just make sure you let me know if you want me to mention who it was that asked the question or if you would prefer to stay anonymous.

So please ask away and again, thank you all for your support.

So there have recently been a lot of furry hate videos. and I mean a lot.
So I decided to do my best to clear the air about the furry fandom and even talk about my opinion on the furry fetish.

I would greatly appreciate if you view the video and give feedback.

ONLY SHARE IT IF YOU WANT TO!
I will not ask for shares, likes or any of that stuff. I am honestly unsure if I even want this video to get any views.
But I whole-heartedly believe in the message, and maybe I can help some furries feel a little better.

Thank you everyone for your time. I did get feedback from a number of furries and nonfurries before posting this, to make sure I don't misrepresent anyone, but I do still want more feedback to make sure I don't offend anyone.

Here is the video and again, I don't want to self promote here. Please only share/like it if you think it deserves it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbSh6qiInGs

For those who are interested, I am hosting a Super Smash Bros Wii U tournament, tonight.

http://challonge.com/Bucket_Challenge2

just go here for details and to sign up. you have about 2.5 hours before it starts.

It is free to enter and there are prizes.

For the 3 of you that actually read these journals/ care about the RP relationship i am in, this is just to update you.

Jason and I are now separating from what was a very unhealthy relationship. However, this is not your typical unhealthy relationship.

Jason is an absolutely amazing guy. and by that i mean much better than someone like me deserves. he is kind, patient, understanding, and always there. Not to mention extremely attractive. But that is exactly the problem. I cannot match up to that. I know that he was better than i deserved, but i wanted to try anyways. and I really did try. but in the end, I just knew he really did deserve better. And no matter how many times he said i was his mate and that he loved me and wanted to be with just me, I always knew that he was truly settling for me. That has been eating away at me for a very long time. And in the end, I just had to break it off.

So why bother saying this? Am i an attention whore? Probably. but the big reason is that I hope that the one that can match him will read this. I don't want to make Jason be "lonely" and i really hope someone can step up and show him what a GOOD mate is. And hopefully then I will fade into obscurity and seem like nothing but a dream to him.

Am i selfish for doing this? Probably. I'm the one that was the problem throughout the relationship. and i guess my last selfish act was to pull away. but hopefully, unlike all my other actions, this one will inadvertently help him as well.

Thank you all for listening here. I am trying to burn bridges as best as i can. and this was probably one of the hardest i have had to do. Thank you  JasonWerefox for everything you did for me. Things are going to be looking up for you, now, and you have to embrace it. Some things are better off forgotten and i firmly believe, i am one of them.

Hello all. The tournament will be moving onto the next step. All those interested need to go view  SuperSmashFurs4 this will be the final registration.

Hey all. Sorry to say, but there is a winter weather state of emergency where I live. It is likely that at some point during the 2 -3 ft snowstorm, I will lose power. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but it will be tough to respond to people about the tournament or art. This should not delay the work on the tourney ladder, but as new participants are still welcome, it could cause some problems. Hopefully everything goes alright. I'm going to try and get as much done as I can tonight to hopefully aim for getting the ladder out next week along with featured artists.

Thanks for your time^^

Friends are amazing things. At the risk of looking like a magikarp, because of all my flip flopping, I am reinstating the tournament. To those that supported me, you know who you are. You mean the world to me. I can't weather this storm without you. Thank you so much <3

So recently, there has been a lot of bad news for some artists that I know. Besides Some of them having struggles in their real lives, there is also the terrible event that happened in Paris. I, personally, want to help as many as i can, but i really just can't, not alone at least. So i decided to see if anyone would be interested in combining the two things i like the most. Video games, and furries.

So here is the idea. I have played games with friends where loser had to, well, remove an article of clothing. eventually there was only one person left with usually just briefs on. But obviously this would be inappropriate for this scenario. Or would it. Most of us have fursonas. So maybe this could work.

We would collect as large a group as possible. No combatants (for smash bros 4) would be cut. and it would become a single elimination, best of 3, tournament. However, while the winner will continue on, the loser would be required to purchase a $5 (USD) sketch (or pay more for more elaborate work) from one of the artists involved. This picture would involve the loser being naked. HOWEVER, this does not mean it has to be nsfw. The buyer can discuss what they want exactly with the artist, but remember, for $5, you are not going to get a fully shaded background and alternate views with it.

So once again. here is how it will work. All participants will join the tournament for no cost. All participants that agree to terms will be accepted. Matches will take place in a best of three, single elimination, style. Whenever a combatant is eliminated, they will have to commission one of the featured artists for a picture of their fursona without clothes ($5 donations are also okay if this makes anyone uncomfortable.) The winner of the tournament will get a free sketch from an artist of their choice (that agrees to take on the commission). I, myself, will also be commissioning a single artist and will give the winner a selected spot in it (smash bros related). This tourney can take place on the 3ds or wii u, depending on which is preferred by the participants (Wii u preferred)

You can reply to this or note me on FA (my name is still BucKeTz) http://www.furaffinity.net/user/bucketz/ if you have any questions or are interested in either being an artist or participant. or both :P

Thank you for your time.

To those it may concern, I was absent from all contact for the last week. I am giving you an update. What i tell you is not for sympathy and any comments will be removed. If you have something to ask me or tell me, use a note.
On December 1st at approximately 9PM (EST) I took a large number of fluoxetine pills that were meant for my depression. I took over 4 times the lethal dose, so i was fairly certain it was curtains. Somehow, I woke up the next morning and my father took me to the emergency room. It took a while, but they purged what was left out of my system and admitted me to their behavioral health unit. While i was there, i was under constant suicide watch and had all personals removed.
Soon i was informed that one of the two anti depressant meds i was on had a side effect that could raise anxiety and the other had long since stopped working. Between the two, school, and friends, It was enough to cause the meltdown it did.
I was in there for a week and took the opportunity to research depression and anxiety as much as I could. A lot of the information was extremely helpful and allowed me to start recovering. Slowly my opinion on myself started to changed.
For the past 20years of my life (all of it) I have considered myself worthless. A being that was lower than the shit i flushed down the toilet. I was unworthy of happiness. Anytime someone talked to me, it was because they felt pity, not because they actually wanted to talk to me. Some of you have experienced this with me constantly apologizing or asking if i am bothering you. Anyone that was my friend was just pretending. I also had extreme double standards for myself including it was not okay for me to make mistakes, enjoy myself, or even be gay. This went along with everything including why I would never accept compliments about me or about my stories.

Only in this past week have I started actually thinking of myself as a person. Viewing myself as a person made my double standards crumble, because i would never ask that of someone else. With those falling apart, i started to believe that i could reach happiness and maybe even deserved to.

I am still very far off from being completely okay. I would still be in the hospital if my insurance hadn't deemed me "healthy enough" to refuse to extend my stay. The negative thoughts are still there and might always be, but i have a plan for recovery and will stick to it. It includes new medicine, weekly meetings with a therapist and even possibly injections further down the road (medical, not recreational).

To end this, I would like to apologize to everyone. I have been lying to you this entire time. I was extremely unhappy, but would put on a smile and say I was fine. Many of you offered help, but I would promptly refuse it. Honesty has always been one of the most important things to me, and I was not living by it.
I also want to apologize to those close to me. What i did was extremely selfish. I cannot even recall my exact thought process, except that I truly could see no other choice. I saw it as removing a sickly wart from an otherwise healthy person, the wart being myself. I saw suicide as the only and best option. My mind was in a very dark place, one that I hope i will never see again. So once again, I am sorry.

Now to the point you actually care about. What will happen to Buck?
Buck will change a bit. His design will remain, but his fur changing will be changed. I honestly feel happier than I have ever felt in my life, and since Buck is me, it will undoubtedly be reflected in him. With this happiness comes a growing confidence that I never had before, making fur changing on confidence level obsolete. I will change my profile when i feel he is in a nice place. The attempted suicide will be made canon, mostly as a reminder to me where i was at one point and to make sure i never slip back there again.

Thank you all for reading.

So, to anyone that actually cares, I do have a few stories complete. I have one mini one and two regular length ones. I am currently getting art for the mini and one of the regular stories.
That said, I have quite a lot still to make. There are two more regular length stories followed by a bigger project. Then ill get back to work on the rework of Buck's back story.
The big project will probably have to be spread out over multiple posts, so I may wait to post any of it until the whole thing is complete. But hopefully, I'll have some smaller stories in reserve.

Thanks for your time.

I posting a quick journal about this because this has actually happened to me multiple times now.

People are busy, I get that. Art takes time, I get that. Please don't apologize if you need a little extra time to finish things up. That's just the way it is. I'm completely fine with it.

It is because of that that I will not accept any compensation. If it takes you years to finish it, as long as no "due date" was specified, all is well that ends well. So honestly, don't offer me free stuff if you fell a bit behind or an unforeseen event occurred. The last thing you need is more work.

Onto point 2. I will almost always accept gift art. I have to say this because I know there are some that my declining their compensation leaves them feeling like they are in debt. I know that I absolutely hate that feeling, so I offer this. This is not a hint to give me gifts. I'm pretty straight forward. If i wanted a gift, I would ask for it. Honestly, I would rather not get gifts because then I feel in debt to the giver. So this is only for people that feel like they owe me something and want to pay it back.

I would like to reiterate a few parts of that. If I have a problem with you or your art, I will bring it up with you. So if it takes you a while to complete something and I am not hounding your ass, It means I am perfectly content waiting.

The more I talk, the more I hate what I say. I recently have been trying to reach out more and expand myself, like people were nice enough to do for me. But in the end, I just make things worse. How do some people effortlessly make everyone around them happy, while here i am just ruining it for everyone. If you want to try and make a friend, don't. If you think your opinion matters, it doesn't. If you think you can help, you can't. If you try to make someone smile, they won't. If you want to say something, just shut up.

Depressed writing is depressing

So there is an awesome YCH being done by  scarredbeast right now.
Prices are negotiable if you want to be in the background, but are $30 if you want to be out front.

That brings it to the best part, There is no set poses. You can pick how you want to enjoy your day.
I hope you come join me and some friends on the beach ^^

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14898162/

Yesterday, a friend of mine died. He was 25. I don't have the details and don't plan to share them when I do, but needless to say, he was young. All I know so far is that it was not drug or alcohol related and it was not suicide.

Interestingly enough, I am not sad about his death. In fact, I'm not even bothered. Death just isn't a big deal for me. And that is what bothers me. I see a lot of people that can barely handle grief and here I am, completely unaffected. Am I a bad person or just psychotic? The answer to that is probably "yes."
Anyways, I may be out of it and probably wont post or write for a bit. I wont promise anything because maybe I'll want to come to FA for a break and maybe writing will stir something up inside me, but for now I have no plans for either. So to all 4 of you that follow me, Sorry if you were looking forward to more stories. I have one currently finished, but I don't know if I'll post it.

Thanks,
BucKeTz

First thing first: Training has been re posted to their respective pages. It is a story of Buck beginning to learn about being what being a werefox really means...or at least one of the best parts of it :P

Next: Buck's Backstory has been officially retired and destroyed. I will be rewriting it over the course of the next few weeks and maybe even longer if i am not satisfied. It will be almost completely different from the old story in format and perspective. I hope you all look forward to it.

To the two people that have the original story, thank you so much for your support. What you have is now a collectors item. Maybe I'll become famous and it will be worth money....yeah, don't hold your breath on that one. besides, the only thing that story is good for is blackmail.

Anyways, nothing big to report and i thank everyone who has read my stories I've posted so far. You have all been extremely kind (probably too much. The stories are pretty bad >_<) and it means a lot to me. I write because i like to write, but knowing someone actually enjoyed something i did makes me feel pretty darn warm and fuzzy inside.

Thanks again ^_^

So i got tagged by  scarredbeast and will go ahead and try this thing out. WOOOO!!!!!

RULES :
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal

Fursona: Buck
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14478330/

1. What is your name?
Buck

2. Do you know why you were named that?
It was just given to me

3. Single or taken?
I think I'm single

4. Have any abilities or powers?
My fur changes color

5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
I'm the opposite of a Mary Sue >:(

6. What's your eye color?
Brown

7. How about hair color?
Either Russet Red or Black

8. Have you got any family members?
Not biological

9. Oh? How about pets?
Afraid not.

10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
Mean people

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Running, video games, running, relaxing, and running. Also running.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Sadly

13. Ever… killed anyone before?
That's for me to know

14. What kind of animal are you?
Werefox

15. Name your worst habits.
Apologizing a lot when nervous.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Yes.

17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
Homosexual :D

18. Do you go to school?
Indeed

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
If the right person comes along sure, but no kids...I hate kids >:(

20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
I doubt it. I keep to myself

21. What are you most afraid of?
Hurting other people

22. What do you usually wear?
Clothes...or no clothes

23. What's one food that tempts you?
I can't pick just one. I like Spanakopita and pastitsio a lot.

24. Am I annoying you?
Not at all ^_^

25. Well, it's still not over!
Alright then

26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
Probably middle class

27. How many friends do you have?
A small number of really close friends.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?
Actually not a fan :(

30. Favorite drink?
Water

31. What's your favorite place?
The woods

32. Are you interested in anyone~?
Actually yes, but i won't say who :-P

33. That was a stupid question.
It's okay to be curious

34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
I like lakes more. but the ocean has better waves.

35. What's your type?
Not obese. If they don't care about themselves, how can they care about me?

36. Any fetishes?
Some i guess. More like fantasies though.

37. Seme or uke?
I can be either.

38. Camping or indoors?
I like them both so much though :(

39. Tag People!
im so sorry :(
 Radar  thesleepywolf  WereFox  JasonWerefox