cfstyles

Hello, everyone! It's been a long time, hasn't it?

So, here's what's been happening recently! I leapt on the opportunity to move from the house of the excellent, wonderful TabbieWolf and SpotWeld (in Connecticut) to that of my boyfriend Phenoixx (in Oregon). The experience has freed up a lot of stress-space in my brain, so I've decided to compensate by starting not one but two new art projects.

"New" art projects? Yes, new ones -- as in "not FoRC" -- for what I feel is a pretty good reason: FoRC was the product of a very dark time in my life, when I was undergoing an involuntary detransition in an extremely inhospitable environment for a transgendered person like myself, constantly feeling worthless day after day after day. It was only through the help of two incredible friends that I was able to get out of that place, and it's a place I'd rather not return to ever again if I can help it. I intend for the two new projects to be considerably less dire.

I've decided to switch accounts because both of the new projects feature casts made (mostly) up of humans with no animal characteristics. One of the projects is a videogame-themed webcomic with a positive attitude, and the other is a totally pornographic fetish project featuring humanized versions of some old friends. Details about each will be available as I draw more about them in the coming weeks. This account will remain open purely as a mechanism for keeping up with the friends that have followed me over the years, and for folks to access some of my older works should they desire it.

Whether you choose to follow me on this new journey, thank you for the support you've given me so far. It's people like you that make art worth drawing. :)

 cfstyles

Since I'm living with the incredible  TabbieWolf and  SpotWeld, I'll be at FurFright, my first furry convention ever! (Only as an attendee, since it turns out special guest spots are reserved for people who make stuff. What's the deal with that?!)

I dragged my feet on announcing this because, frankly, the crowd runs a possibility of triggering my fight-or-flight reflex, causing the words "fuck this" to exit my mouth and, consequently, my body to leave the convention space -- and I didn't want to be a motivating factor for anyone to attend if the possibility existed that I wouldn't be able to make it through. I'll be the stocky hat-wearing fellow adjacent to  Phenoixx, who's also in town.

See you there! Or not! Whatever!!

I was planning on taking a break from FoRC to get modelsheets and other essential stuff done -- and also to get a headstart on studying for the next semester -- but my tablet broke as I was starting on the announcement comic. So, now I have an excuse!

I'll have a new tablet in a month, at which point you can expect new art all over the place. Meanwhile, I'll be playing Fallout 3 as my new character: BOSS TANAKA, an invulnerable giant naked lady with a gun that zaps the armor and weapons out of any target's inventory. Cheerio!

As it turns out, Northern Minnesota is a long way from anyplace I can get the resources or medical expertise necessary to continue the transition I'm currently so far into. My current prescription of feminizing hormones is dwindling fast, and I have no way to get it re-upped -- not now, or anytime in the next two years or so.

This is one of the biggest flaws with the transgendered situation in the USA; there are some parts of the country where it's virtually impossible for a carless, penniless student like me to get help. The people I've talked to have all told me I'll need to commute downstate on a weekly basis to get rediagnosed through routine therapy sessions, even with notes from my former therapist and endocrinologist. This is completely ridiculous.

Fortunately, I've been feeling more comfortable with my body than I ever thought I would be under these circumstances. I had a long talk with my amazing boyfriend a week ago; we agreed that if I can find a way to be happy in this situation, I need to run with it for as long as I possibly can, and he's promised he'll be supporting me the whole way through. (I'm incredibly lucky to have him, I realize.)

So, meet  comradesal, my new adult art account. Call it an experiment; maybe nothing will come of it, or maybe I'll grow accustomed to it before treatment becomes available and I won't want to go back. Either way, it's still me -- and I'm not going anywhere.

Any questions? ^^

Due to a change in focus, I'll be removing a lot of my submissions exactly one week from now: Sunday, January 23rd, 2011 at 1AM Central Standard Time! I make this announcement to give you ample time to prepare; if there's something on my gallery you want to save, do it now before it's lost to the ages!

(more art's coming up soon, don't worry)

This was ripped directly from a furry thread on an unnamed messageboard; I posted it last night while I was partially drunk, and decided it was good enough to share with everyone else. Not that I consider this a 'sob story' worth any sympathy whatsoever -- I just think it's a cute story that deserves archival in more places. Enjoy!~

Honestly, I just sort of grew into the whole furry thing. When I turned sixteen I started making lame-o comics starring a lobster character in a world of people, as a dumb analogy to how out-of-place I felt among everyone else, both in-person and online. Two years later, I decided to put him in the company of a bunch of other animal characters because I thought it would be rad; at this point I think I was aware of furries, in the sense that I was annoyed at them for ruining animal-characters for the rest of us hardworking "anthro" artists.

I didn't actually look at any furry art until 2003, when the Something Awful Forums decided to sequester a group of known furries in a sub-board they called the Furry Concentration Camp. As a joke, I thought it would be funny to walk among them, inventing a gay dragon version of myself and doing more poorly-drawn comics about him. Little did I know, every joke carries within it a hint of the awful truth. >:V I found myself drawn to specific furry stuff (not naming names for the sake of squeamish readers/my own embarrassment), and the rest is history.

I think the open nature of the furry subculture is a fantastic thing. Without it I probably wouldn't have come out of two closets (gay-then-transgendered) anywhere near the time I did, I wouldn't have met my perfect boyfriend of two years, and I'd probably be doing art to satisfy others, instead of satisfying myself. The infographic I linked earlier isn't lying when it says "furry has a place for you"; if you're willing to plumb the depths of your subconscious for your deepest-seated fantastical thoughts and are brazen enough to put them on the Internet, there are people on FurAffinity who will +fave a good enough drawing of it. I think if the community just vanished and left me behind I'd be stuck drawing lame and directionless comics (starring contextless animal characters, of course) to put on the walls of my subterranean bunker (parents' basement).

I like to think I'm aware of how stupid and silly it all is! It's most-all just harmless self-expression by a bunch of weirdos, and therefore inherently hilarious, but these weirdos can't help it, and every psychologist I've went to (for the transgendered thing) has encouraged it in me, since it's made me more comfortable with myself. Because of all this, it's pretty tough for me to think this is anything but a good thing, at least in some cases. Some people just need an escape, you know?

Last night I made a carefully sorted list of my favorite DLC songs currently available, complete with YouTube links previewing each and every song! There is literally enough to make the setlist for a whole third game, which is why I'm calling it:

+~ROCK BAND # LOBST ROCKER EDITION~+

Warning: I would purchase "Bye Bye Bye" if it was made available as DLC; as such, there are a lot of guilty-pleasure songs on this list and virtually nothing that could reasonably be called "Heavy Metal" with a straight face (i would purchase kabbage boy's "girlfriend" given the opportunity, actually). PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

http://inkbunny.net/Wingsinmotion

It's been less than a day and EVERYONE'S ALREADY SICK OF THIS!

Well, guess what? Slow servers aside, Inkbunny looks really slick and fun to use -- and it offers sleek and accessible options for monetizing your work that don't get in your way! Time to step up your game, FA :V

(...and I know there are at least a few of you in my audience, based on the amount of faves that one picture has gotten)

When you read a piece of good fiction or see a piece of brilliant art that features a good cross-sex transformation (or the aftereffects thereof) rendered in the perfect amount of detail, conveying the fantasy eloquently enough to make you almost feel like you've just experienced it yourself, does it make you feel wistful or distressed at all by the time you're done with it?

For me, reading fiction of this nature comes with an equal amount of benefits and drawbacks. My interest in this is largely based on my real-life transgendered nature; when I read stories like this I'm immediately grateful for the experience, but it makes me feel terrible about the current state of my body and the impossible notion that I'll ever truly get what I've been pining for all these years, even after pursuing every available option at the scientific world's disposal (at the cost of tens of thousands of dollars and several years of my life spent obtaining them).

I'd love to have someone to talk to about this. If you're reasonably articulate and would like to chat, hit me up on AIM sometime; if I'm not swamped with homework maybe we can be friends. ^^

Shortly after typing the last journal, I discovered a billion assignments that were due and tests that needed to be obsessively studied for! This means I have been unable to fulfill my artistic obligations, since my educational obligations are way way more important.

I think my problem boils down to time management! I'll try and get a sheet of paper in front of me more often from now on. Thanks for your patience, everybody! ^^

OH SNAP! I'm drawing -- or otherwise being creative -- every day now! This is a feeling I've missed. Maybe it's something in the air! If it's a chemical spill, at least it's an enjoyable one!

At least two submissions will appear here every week. Anyone who prefers to keep up in RSS format can subscribe to http://anthropornio.blogspot.com ! Submissions will encompass anything that strikes my fancy, and I'll be giving my all to each and every one of them.

Also, commissions are open! I'm available here pretty often, so feel free to drop a note if you're interested and I'll send off a pricing sheet. I've been told my rates are very agreeable, so if you're in the market, let me know and I'll hook you up. :3

All right! Apologies for the downtime; I was busy spending eight whole days laying in bed with my amazing boyfriend. It couldn't have come at a better time, either; I was just finishing up the act of grieving for my ambitions of multimillionaire Internet superstardom.

So, now that that's over with, it's time to get down to business. I have a ton of ideas in my head, and the time has come to drill a hole and let these puppies out!

Let's begin with The Comic. Now, the recent experience of having my work dissected in front of me, harrowing as it was to experience it personally, ended up providing some pretty sweet benefits. Namely, it enlightened me to a few alterations I can make to improve the cogency and general impact of the story I plan to tell.

1: The Protagonist.

As originally presented, Richard Merrick, our crustacean hero, could have easily been the secret furry alterego of the guy who does XKCD. The problem with this is how interchangeable this makes him with the eleventy million other web comic protagonists that exist elsewhere on the creative spectrum. I'm being a little sarcastic here, but I seriously don't mean to disparage the character himself -- he's a complex fellow with skeletons in his closet; he just doesn't show it very well. This would be fine for someone in real life, but in the context of a story, it simply doesn't make for an interesting first impression.

My solution? Adjust the focus a bit. I hate to say "you'll see how in the forthcoming comics", but that's what I'm stuck doing because I haven't gotten off my lazy butt and drawn any more. Just bear in mind that I won't be changing his personality or taking anything away from him -- only making it so the story takes focus above random around-dicking with the characters.

2: Character Design.

It hit me recently that while I'm tweaking things for the sake of my story, I figured I might as well try again at the one thing that's taunted me over the years, but I've never really been able to successfully address: As opposed to the vast majority of characters in my comic's diverse cast, Richard, the lobster, doesn't really look like the species of his origin. This is maddeningly difficult to accomplish with a species like Richard's; actual lobsters are giant, cockroach-like sea-insects with eyes on stalks and a protruding horizontal mandible, among other things -- concessions are bound to be made. However, having used it for the last ten years, I find that the connection between "cylinder-headed purple dude with antennae" and "lobster" doesn't seem to automatically manifest for people the way it does for other things, and the only thing that's kept me from changing it is the idea of a "brand" I've had going on in the back of my mind for a while now.

Here is a test of a design I've been brewing. The finished product is going to be slightly different from this in a few ways (hair may or may not be in Richard's future), but I'm pretty satisfied with what I have so far. The idea isn't to provide total accuracy the way you'd find in a canine/feline character, but to make it more like if a lobster evolved into a homosapien-style humanoid with a friendly face (instead of a Servbot-style cylinder upon which I can draw smiley-faces).

3: The Name.

R & G is hella boring, dudes! How about Lobster Bee? Suggestions are totally welcome :D

Stolen from  reaux's journal; some of the questions were a little too girly for the place I'm mentally at right now, so I reworded most of them to be asked the way I'd ask them. Respond to this or not, it doesn't matter; if you do, however, I'll probably like you a little bit more.

1. Your Name:

2. Age:

3. Most Awesome Color:

4. Are you a virgin? It's okay if you say yes!

5. Are we comrades?

6: Are you infatuated with me?

7. Would you care for me when I'm sick?

8. Tell me a secret! C'mon, I can take it! >:|

9. If I wanted to do something that sounds a little bit like it'd bore you, would you want to come with me?

10. Imagine my honor was impugned by some saucy lad's comment! Would you defend me?

11. Do you talk about me with other people?

12. Do you think I'm a good person?

13. If you could change anything about me, what would it be?

14. Ask me a question. Ask me anything!

15. Imagine we know each other pretty well. Would you show up at my place often?

16. Where do you live? If in the United States, name the state!

17. Now post this in your journal, so I can answer these for you! :D

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
Name: Svetlana
Current Location: New York
Eye Color: Greenish-gray
Hair Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Taurus

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
Your fears: Chaos -- not in the 'anarchy' sense; more like 'nothingness' or 'oblivion'. Also: Mean people and lightning.
Your perfect pizza: Nothing but a wide array of cheeses. Chicago-style deep-dish, too -- I want my pizza to be girthy.
Goal for future: Commitment to all things -- exercise, drawing, and transition.

LAYER THREE:
Your thoughts first waking up: (sigh) -- Maybe tomorrow'll be the day.
Your best physical feature: Physique
Your bedtime: Ideally, 3:00 to 4:00 AM; realistically, crashing in between 11:30 and 12:30.
Your most missed memory: Happened to a fictional character, and I spend my creativity trying to recapture it.

LAYER FOUR:
Pepsi or Coke: High-fructose corn syrup is poison, but if I didn't believe that it'd be Dr. Pepper all the way.
McDonald's or Burger King: I eat McDonald's once a year, to commemorate the birthday of my (possibly formerly) obese older brother.
Single or group dates: No preference; I'm with my partner practically all the time either way.
Adidas or Nike: Cherry-red Doc Martens.
Lipton tea or Nestea: Caffeine puts my brain in Neutral, but if it didn't I'd go with Lipton.
Chocolate or vanilla: Is this, like, a racial question or something? No preference, sirs!
Cappuccino or coffee: Caffeine makes me, um... it affects my brain in such a way that... uh... it doesn't...

uh...

operate. Or something.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Lie: Never.
Take a shower: I make sure never to take the last one.
Believe in yourself: Why not? This is, after all, the only star for me!

LAYER SIX: EVER?
Been on stage: Yeah, in grade school. I blew.
Gone skating: Rollerskating -- again, in grade school. I similarly blew.
Dyed your hair: Nope! If I did, though, it'd be blue. @__@

LAYER SEVEN:RANDOM
Gotten beaten up: Yes.
Changed who you were to fit in: I've tried, sure -- back when I was a teenager.

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
Are you old: Not yet; not ever.
What did you do for your last birthday: Worked for eight hours, had dinner cooked for me, and ate half a hamburger-shaped cake. :3

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
Best eye color: Any
Best hair color: Any
Clothing style: I'm currently living with someone who exclusively wears cheap and/or ugly T-shirts. I don't think I could be classified as "picky" at this point.

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING
1 minute ago: Preheating the oven
1 hour ago: Directing my ennui toward my therapist
1 year ago: Staring at the ceiling and procrastinating

LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
I love: It when a plan comes together
I feel: gorgeous on the outside, "like screaming" on the inside
I hide: My breasts at work
I miss: Makin' comics
I want: Pilotwings 64 on Virtual Console. Also: FIFTY. THOUSAND. DOLLARS.
I need: More time! D:

Okay, I just downloaded OpenCanvas for the first time. I'm used to doing Photoshop, and I'm uneasy about learning a new-ish interface, so I don't know if I can stick with it; can anyone with more experience with it inform me of the pros and cons between the two, as far as the purposes I'll be using it for are concerned?

Thanks in advance! :3