Well those were a nice couple weeks of being less active. I suppose to a degree I was still there. Again I mentioned I would still be in a server all the same. But yeah, I had to take a bit of time to collect and figure some stuff out. A lot of stress had been going on, and while I have still been busy doing stuff I want to be doing, the stresses have mostly settled down now, and I've just been thankfully enjoying myself.

One of the big things though during this time off was kind of thinking back on some of the past engagements and things I have been doing with the community. I had a couple of quite uhh.... We'll say passionate... Or emotional.... conversations over that time, and hashed out some things that had been on my mind. Friends helping me to shake out a lot of the sort of depressed and upsetting self depreciating things I had suddenly been going on about myself. And thankfully they had mostly put me on track, despite me naturally wanting to keep talking about a topic. I've noticed when I'm hurting I tend to start talking about a topic, and beat that topic into the ground, 6 feet below even if I have to until I finally feel like I've exhausted all of my troubles and points. Which, I believe I'll have to deal with more over with. Or have friends help recognize that and try to coax me down slowly.

Speaking of things I've noticed too, a big revelation over the entirety of this was realizing I suppose just how innocent, and well "soft" I really am. For someone who looks up to being strong and brave, being there as a big protector to my friends. After a conversation I realized, that truly I am very weak still. To many though it's a refreshing thing, I know many of you think that my kindness is refreshing and I certainly know it has made a lot of really strong friendships fast because of how kind I can be. But there's also trouble with that too. And I think why some of you have realized that I have trouble with tether of fantasy/reality on some things. RP's or certain commissions and things friends might be doing that I can't really handle, and becomes upsetting to me. It was in that conversation, and all the dragging through the mud I sort of realized that as much as I hated myself doing this to friends, that it wasn't something that can just simply go away. It's a part of who I am. Just like anxiety and depression, things that don't ever really truly go away, this over extension of heart was also something that was a part of me, that I'm going to have to try better at managing. I apologize to those who've told me in the past to 'Get over it' with things that may upset me, or have wondered why I simply can get attached to such small things, but that's not something I can do. And I'm thankful I realized that from my friends conversation, because I probably would have gone on in pain for quite awhile longer until I found that out. Just know, that now that I have a better understanding of myself, I'm working on trying to manage it a bit better, because truth be told, it's never quite going to go away.

But enough of dealing with the dark stuff, there was another point that I wanted to make in all of this. And that is friendship. A lot of amazing people wished me well, and we're there for me during this time. Supportive and sweet, and just concerned for my well being. It was awesome feeling just I suppose so welcomed and appreciated, which sometimes seems to not always find it's way back to me. But I will mention it definitely touched my heart quite a bit to see a bunch of you genuinely worried about me, and so thank you to all of you. I know that I'm kind of changing a bit of how I'm around and all, but I'm still very much around and care about each and every one of you. I'm going to try and keep a balance again with everything I'm doing focusing more of my attention to my home life than online I suppose. But now that I'm living on my own, it's sort of just how it needs to be. I can't rely on my folks to do things for me, I got to do everything on my own, or with the help of a certain snuggle wolf.

With that said, the changes to Discord I had mentioned, will forever remain in place. I will reply as soon as I can, as I may have other things going on. For the great majority I think that everyone has understood that which is quite relieving. But it's going to probably be that way forever now.

Thank you everyone for everything (This journal may sound kind of in-cohesive... But I swear I'm okay, I just dunno how to properly come back xD), To many many many more happy times to come.

AND WITH THAT. ALLOW ME TO SUBMIT SOME STORED UP ART! :O!!!