I'm just going to use this journal to write off some stuff that has happened over the few months.
I have been really inactive here since the depression hit me the last time after new years. But the time that I got help then we just had to let the doctors know how everything was, put all cards on the table so to speak. So I finally was able to open up about my transexuallity to other people then my closest friends and people here. Since then things have taken the first steps towards change. This friday I got to meet with a psychologist for a first evaluation of the issue at hand. The result of that evaluation turned out really good and they will send a referral to the gender specialist center for another evaluation. If that goes well too, then...well...I will no longer have to be trapped with the gender that feels wrong, I will be able to be more right so to speak.
Now when I look back at my life, all those little things and the curiosity that can be seen as not generic, even such a thing that when I play videogames and have the chance to choose gender of the character, I have always chosen the opposite ov my biological, "because it feels mor right and like me". And that is a thing that I have felt basically all my life. And the last years here I have not been able to really drop the feelings and thought that I'm not as I should be and this transition that most certainly will happen (and hopefully sooner then later) will make my life so much better.
And so far, everyone that has gotten to know this have been so happy and supportive of it, and this has made me so happy and given me so much confidence. I'm not even sure if I would be writing this journal here if it wasnt for my dear dear friends.