(mirrored from Deviantart)

Well, after a little over 20 years, it's come to this.

As many of my longtime friends will know, I haven't exactly had the best relationship with my mother. Ever since I joined Deviantart around 2007 or 2008, I've always complained that I never got to do anything without her permission and always was trapped under her paranoid eyes and crushing thumb.

It's almost been a decade since then, since she told me to stop talking to people on the internet because she doesn't know all of you, and she's still trying to protect me from the outside world and mold me into her perfect image of a subservient son. She still treats me like a baby and smothers me with love and attention, too much love and attention to be honest. I always felt I could never share anything with her because she would either disagree strongly with me or completely ignore what I was saying to give me a heavyhanded life lesson. It always stifled my art, my writing, my creativity altogether. She's killed many of my childhood dreams, from being an artist to being a Disney animator to being a locomotive engineer. She has habitually done this for several years under the guise of being "practical" with my life. Apparently to her, being "practical" means not having a hobby since I could never get her to purchase any model trains for me, get a job to support myself, or even just live a little and choose whatever I want to do.

She's done this all in the name of "protecting" me since she claims that's her job as a mother. Unfortunately for her, that never stopped me from discovering the wonders and eye-opening things the internet can reveal. Little by little, behind her back, I've always exercised my fight for my freedom by going places without telling her, hanging out with my internet and now real-life friends. Thankfully, she hasn't suspected any of my rebellion, but it's now come to this.


I've decided that I cannot live under her roof anymore if it means bending my knee and baring my neck to her. If I cannot be allowed to exercise my creativity and do things that I want to do, creative things even, then I'm moving out. And that's exactly what's going on. By this time next month, I'll be relocating to Portland, Oregon with all my things and living with my girlfriend,  trainman142 and her family while I get on my feet. I already found an open sales position at a shop that she knows called Beacock's music, where I'll mostly be selling guitars and other musical instruments. To me, that sounds happier and more fulfilling than being a nurse, which would probably drive me up a wall. A whole hall of opportunities and immense amounts of cash may have closed, but a new door now opens, one where I get to spend my life with people I love and do things I love. I get to be a more open and freer person, far from the prying, critical eyes of my mother.


I not only thank GalaxyRailways2199 and her family for their unending support for me, but also to  Kraelsky and  undesired-fonts for continuing to love and support me as well. I could honestly never get by in life without having met these wonderful lady and gentlemen, and I will continue to love and date them no matter what. <3

I also want to thank my longtime middle school friend Jose for supporting me as best he could, my cousin Rubie Francisco for being there to talk to in my time of need and understanding my situation as a young mother, and all the wonderful internet friends with whom I've met here and in real life like Zephyr202. I will miss all of you while being up North, but I promise that I'm never going offline ever, not for my friends and definitely not for my lovers.

It's come down to this, and I thank all that California's given me. It's time for me to grow up, stand up for myself, and be somebody. I'm steppin' out...