*Currently listening to 'Run' by Snow Patrol, 'Shattered' byO.A.R, and 'Kelsey' by Metro Stattion*
first off let me say that I'm in a buzzed state of mind, off alcohol, so this actually helps tap in a better sense of how I feel about things rather being plagued by a sober, yet not so clear state of mind. Don't worry, I'm not wasted.

To make things short and to the point I'm moving. Moving back to a place where I thought to myself I would never return too. Back to a place with such familiarity, security, and resources where I would find myself set for life, but somehow, its not what I want. and Its not where I want to be. There's a saying where 'Home is where the heart is' and to make things clear, I can stay back in my hometown, but my heart isn't there to call it home. Even if my hometown has all the love of my friends and family to back me up, I still have a feeling of just getting out. Escaping this bubble that I made for myself and starting anew, for personal growth and broadening my experiences in life. As of Now I'm very happy to say, with all my heart, that my time here in Humboldt County has been remarkably adventurous. For me, Matsi, my friends, and my loved ones. The 8 months I had spent here were amazing with stunning scenes of nature that I never grew-up around to experience, the 'open-armed' citizens that reside here that greet you with respect and consideration as if you yourself were considered family to them, the culture that makes this county known for being 'lost' or 'behind the redwood curtain', and most importantly the feeling you get of being 'out', knowing that you are in one of the most scenic and beautiful places CA has to offer, here in your front/backyard. Heh, no matter how deep I get into explaining Humboldt County, it's something you really have to experience to truly grasp the words I use to explain this place. For those who are humorous right now, It's not ALL about the weed here, theres more to it than just that. All in all, I will miss this place very much. Matsi and I both...

Back then, before I had moved, I had this state of mind thinking that we can start anew, a new life with Matsi and have it be the two of us. Thinking it was time to settle down and just do our own thing. Surely enough, that was easily accomplished. I was able to start anew completely, with the company of SOME family members, my mate, and online friends as forms of communication and connection through the internet, which was fine. It was like they're there but not there, but I'm not alone while being in solitude. It's hard to explain, but it felt like it was enough, but not too much.
BeforeI can say I was different . I had ended a relationship that was very hard for me, I had healed and learned from that experience, I graduated during that time after, and I had accomplished one of my goals of working my way up the field of veterinarian medicine. I was set, secure, focused, and determined about getting out of the Bay-Area to just 'escape' from the home town I had grown to just feel numb about it as I grew. As a result of these past events, I have become a stronger and wiser individual in life. Such terrible events lead to great amount of stress and anxiety, but with every problem, theres a solution where it can be fixed if you try your hardest. To me, every problem fixed is another moment your stronger.when I had moved I had escape of pattern of myself of the stereotypical CEO of things to 'get done'. Schedules and plans must be made ahead of time, things must happen at a certain time, I had to be in control of the situation most of the time, and I was a very busy individual. During this past time, I had high school, Regional Occupation Program, and my full-time job while support myself, Matsi, and keeping my apartment. Heh, which reinforced WHY I'm such the 'planner' type. The reason why I brought this up is because THIS is the habit I had abandoned when I moved, and I can woof that it was pretty awesome. The pressure on my shoulders didn't feel as great as it did back then. When I had moved, just looking at Matsi and then looking out into my wonderful front yard of tall redwood trees, is all it took to have that feeling of being 'home'. My heart was set here.

As time in Humboldt County passed and I got to meet and hang with my wonderful friends here (one being a batty and another a polar bear) I received alot of support and comfort from them as the time went on here. My batty friend has always had my back ever since we had started woofing and because of it, we've always been close to each other. Being there for one another, more than just friends but like brothers. Enjoying each others company while having endless amount of jokes, laughs, and fun. As for my Bear-friend he has been the sunshine in my day that is always what I needed to get me going, I may not have shown it, but his efforts to crack that everyday smile was very supportive, especially in my time of need. Always so optimistic and down to earth, and GREATLY humorously-flamboyant that it was all the positive energy I needed to just rid of my negative energy for a long time. Both of these close friends company, respect, trust, and love is why I consider them my best friends. Gold Star for the both of them. As for my mate, he has always been there for me with the utmost care and consideration that I feel honored, loved and happy to woof that he and I are together. The Time we had shared together with our woofs and each other was definitely something I greatly enjoyed during his time here in Humboldt County and I'm happy to woof that I love him, and his woof with all my heart.

Now that it's almost time for my move back into the Bay-Area, I feel like I'm going in circles. It's going to be my second lap back, but I feel stronger and more wise than I did, just like before, when I first departed. It will be interesting to see my old friends/family again and catch up on lost time and see how they have changed while I was gone or vice-versa, or who knows...maybe we haven't really changed that much at all, but I will find out once I return. I have high hopes that my plans will go smoothly for the future for Matsi and I and I have a feeling that once I get back, I'll step into old habits again, but thanks to the lessons that everyone has taught me here, I can look forward, with Matsi by my side, along with the love and support from all my close friends, that I can walk forward with my head held high.

Thank you for taking the time and thought of reading my long journal. Matsi and I will keep you all posted, until then...

Everyone Take care, and I will keep you all posted/Woof with you all later!

~Much love, from Kota and Masti