Joy, barely describes what I feel for you right now! What has happened, is that your faith, is truly yours. Not because of what anyone else says. Truly Your Faith. The Holy Spirit is awakened in you. Now, it is truly personal.
*DOES A HAPPY DANCE*
*HUGGGGGGS*
CEF

I find it interesting to note how my views of things has changed. I no longer see the bible as just another book but as a story that I have yet to read. There have also been other smaller things I'm noticing as well but one thing is starting to make itself more apparent; the more traditional form of church is what kept me from breaking this barrier for so long. For some reason I also haven't told anybody about this either.

Unfortunately, This is becoming commonplace. The organized Church, has issues with people, and reaching out, and pushing people to discover the Bible for themselves. The Catholic church was famous for this, and I think some leaders today, want to hold some degree, of power...

I'm not catholic but my church is still very traditional. It's mainly because our congregation is for the most part older than 50. The youth group does offer some flexibility but I still fall asleep in the sermons.

Would you mind terribly if I gave my opinion and some quiet advice on this journal?

Sure! I don't have any problem with people sharing opinions.

First, let me get this out of the way;
I speak as a Laveyan Satanist. I am a part of a (very theatrical) unreligion which embraces what Christianity calls sins, as they often lead to self-indulgence. This doesn't mean we abolish the Christian Virtues. This also does not mean we worship Satan - that is Theistic Satanism. Laveyan Satanism is an unreligion, meaning we have no deity whatsoever. Please don't think I'm a goat-sacrificing douchebag weirdo cultist person. We have our own morals and rules and such; we don't just go around doing whatever we damn well please. That would be rude and counterproductive.

With that out of the way

My advice would be please, please don't let your god run your life. You seem like a nice person, and I would hate for one more nice person to fall victim to the Church.
You can worship your god and have all the prayer and stuff you want -absolutely. I don't deny, even as a Satanist, that many Christians legitimately become better people, or more stable people, or happier people through christianity. And that's all sunshine and roses. I may not agree with how, but it's not my place.
But too many people become completely smitten by the idea and become overwhelmed. They let themselves become lazy because god will fix their problems for them. Please don't be that way. It will only make your life so much worse. I can't imagine the kinds of things you could be going through; but don't ever forget that when everything is said and done, you fix your own problems. "god" can be your guidance, and give you the opportunity to do whatever it is you need to; but ultimately, you are the one that pulls through.

I get what you're saying about some Christians becoming lazy with the thought that God will give them whatever they want, much like a maid. These people, in my eyes, don't really have a full understanding of how their God works. They don't do anything and depend on their friends and family to act as God, only resulting in stress and, in some situations, the splitting of a family. God doesn't just give us whatever we want just because we ask, but instead he gives us strength to accomplish our goals and the guidance to reach that goal. As for the laveyan satanists, do you remember the long conversation we had before? I looked for it again but I think you deleted the journal it was in. You introduced me to the satanist religion and I more or less introduced you to the Christian religion without the "smite the infidels" sort of mentality. From that conversation I know exactly why you're concerned,but I'm not going to give the world the finger just because I found a sense of comfort in knowing that I haven't been worshiping an idea that has tricked so many others. Too many people have done that before me and I don't want to add to that.

I'm glad to hear it! I hope you understand I only speak with the best intentions in mind. I don't believe they have a full understanding of how your entire religion is supposed to work. I don't believe 80% of Christians do.
I delete my journals regularly. I have ongoing conversations in a few of the ones I have listed still, so they haven't been deleted yet, but I make a habit of keeping my Journals list clear. I regretfully have to say I don't remember the conversation except bits and pieces, but I believe I have a vague recollection of what you're on about, enough to understand your point.
I'm happy to hear you've found something that makes you happy and makes you feel stronger!
and Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy turkey day!