Sorry to hear stuff has been rough, hopefully things will smooth out for you!

Thank you.

Thanks. Don't worry about the letters going to waste, I did change many things since then, but there is more to go.

Why did you remove my comment?

Your comment has info that is to private to put here.

no thats not shared

You could have just said you cared about your public image that much...

Good luck and stay optimistic silverling, you already got a better job and your renovaions also going on as it sounds.

Thanks, ya. I just need to watch out for my well being a bit better.

Just do your best dude. That's all we can ask for. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Really appreciate it, thanks.

That definitely sounds like a full plate there. When I met you at RF you certainly didn't appear to be someone that would have issues with booze. Just goes to show how it can affect people you least expect it to. :/ But on the positive side you are aware of the problem which is a big plus and you do seem legitimately concerned about it whereas the typical alcoholic might go as far as knowing there's a problem but simply doesn't care enough to do anything about it. So keep it up and just do your best in that regard. Definitely take advantage of whatever services you can at your job. Friends help out for that kinda thing too but sometimes someone with a PhD can help out more effectively. You're too nice a guy to fall off that wagon, though so just keep doing what you need to do to keep that problem under control.

Time to yourself is quite important and I think it's something people, particularly those with any sort of social life, can easily neglect. I've never seen the time to do personal things as a selfish thing myself because it's your time and you choose how you spend it. The hat trick though is balancing that with your social life which well clearly depends on the person. Usually those with a significant imbalance between those two I have observed over the years that they tend to be more prone to lashing out in some form because eventually even the most social person is gonna need at least a bit of time alone and vice versa with the most loner (by choice) person will need to get out and socialize with someone. This visit with Thrakos and Sparkle sounds much needed and it's good you are out there having fun. ^^

With the weight thing. Ha... you know I'm a big dude and I can attest to the chest pains firsthand. As a matter of fact I had started getting them without doing anything so got my ass back to using this gym membership. I know it's not exactly the same for everyone but generally speaking if you go get in even just 10-15 minutes of cardio every other day or so the pains stop fairly quickly. For me it was after about 4-5 days with about an hour a day + some strength training. Plus I dropped quite a bit of weight in the first two weeks alone. I'm not sure if you have a gym on the campus you can go use or something but hit the elliptical (doesn't kill my knees like a treadmill does) or something cuz even just 10-15 minutes will help you out a lot if you keep some consistency going. Then before you know it you'll even lose the extra weight and can get yourself in that suit of yours. All steps toward your own happiness. :)

But yeah, sorry for the massive comment. :P I just see something important I gotta open my mouth. lol Prolly one of the more annoying aspects of myself perhaps but eh if any of my words can have any chance of helping someone out well then it's worth it. I'm sure you've heard a lot of the whole "just take care of yourself" bits and "just lemme know if you need any help" stuff but just means you have a good solid support group that's got your back. Just gotta take those steps man and you'll be perfectly fine. :)

Take care!

That's alright, your words mean a lot. Would be cool to chat with you sometime to!

<3 you da bes

Brofist

Well good luck mate. Just don't kill your self

So sorry for those unfortunatelies events that happened that related with alcohol. It could be sometimes your "friend" but also an "enemy" I know is hard to say, but try not let it take over you.

It´s also true that not drinking makes you feel that something is empty in your life. As far as I see this, the best and accesible way to start to forget it is to replace the drink, which fill that space, with something different, more productive and safety for you.

Don´t let a stone that made you fall in the way keeps you lay down, you can stand up and keep moving forward ^ ^

Giving up drinking has never really made me felt empty, but it is true that something else has to fill the space and become a new habit. Coffee and chocolate have actually worked quite well in the past, surprisingly. Also exercising.

Thank you for your kind words Aldo.

Excersising would be a nice idea, it would create several goals, and two if them would be having a good shape and making yourself able to use that suit of yours hahah XD

Good luck with that man ; )

Hopefully your friend can understand you are going through some rough moments. We all know you are a sweet person at heart.

I know it's not exactly the same... but I did overcome my Pepsi by not buying it anymore... but the source of your problem is probably much different, so I'm not sure why I'm saying that. Hehe. ^'===='^;

Please take care of you. We are all behind you, supporting you. SQUEAK! ^'===='^

Thanks, hopefully someday he'll understand. I don't remember what I said, and frankly I would rather not look at the chat logs and just put it behind me, I know it was bad, and he was probably quite hurt.

It is true that not buying it is the easiest way to not drink any!

*Rubrubs*

Maybe the answer is just to try to balance yourself out a bit better? Perhaps you don't even have to give up alcohol entirely (especially not cold turkey), but a mere reduction could be considered an improvement? If the answer to why you drink is because you find your life stressful, would the better solution be to fix the root cause (reduction of life stresses) as opposed to reducing the symptoms by drinking to forget/relax?

I'm also not sure how much drinking is considered alcoholism. For example, I'll have 1 Heineken with my supper when I get home from work, then turn the TV on, and unwind from the day. I enjoy that quite a bit, but I don't even so much drink to relax or anything, I actually like how beer goes with some foods! I don't really like the taste of other alcohols at all though. The unfortunate thing about beer though is that it tends to give one the "beer gut". I also don't drink enough to the point of feeling dizzy, as there are several productive things I like to do late into the evening after a bit of unwind time that requires focus.

Everyone needs some sort of crutch to get through life's stresses, but is there maybe a healthier one that you can substitute (e.g. exercise, meditation, etc). I've also heard of how crazy high the cost of living is in coastal cities like Vancouver. Is moving to a more affordable city an option?

I'm guessing your house in Vancouver is to rent out, which (once nicely renovated) will provide an additional source of income. Maybe this is just a stressful transition period for you that will soon pass. However, if you're drinking to the point of feeling hungover and such, wouldn't that make everything else throughout the day harder to get through, leading to more stress, and therefore more drinking?

Just brainstorming thoughts. Hope things get better for you! ^.=.^

Balance is definitely good, but in terms of drinking the only real way to get off of it is to give it up forever, otherwise it's too easy to slip back in. I am already better than I used to be, admittedly, however once you've crossed the line you never can go back to casual drinking. The drinking tends to be the root cause of things more than a symptom, but I get what you mean. It will be easier to quit if I fix the other problems.

Technically alcoholism, or any addiction, is, "When the alcohol controls you, instead of you controlling the alcohol." It varies from person to person. I don't think a beer a day is going to hurt you if it doesn't start to increase.

Exercise and meditation are both excellent ways to get through addictions, as well as just increase your happiness overall. When I had a gym in the building, if I had a craving I'd go down and work out for a bit. The craving goes away immediately and doesn't come back. Meditation is great for stress relief and helping focus on what's really important.

I don't think the living cost is a source of stress in particular. I actually don't feel that stressed, I just have too much on my plate so I forget to make room for myself.

Thanks for your thoughts. Talking through all these things helps me remember them to.

It is good to hear from you in a journal. I know you can keep at it and get to a happier state. I went hiking for the first time in months, and that was harsh. I figure I just have to do some regular walking at least.

Hehe, ya. Hopefully I can do some regular biking now that the weather is nicer.

Hoping all goes well for you! You're determined to change and that seems the biggest step of all.

Thanks! I have been determined before, so it's time to try something new and look forward.

Oh man, I had no idea you were going through that much stress! I know you're strong enough to work through it all ^.=.^

Thanks firebreath.

I think we should make it a point to try and hike or something when you're up here next, since all I do is sit on my duff too ;3;
LETS GET IN SHAPE MAN

Hooray!